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If you are a demon
then send me to Hell
If you are a witch
then take me with your spell

If you are a drug
Then in my vein inject
If you’re a psychosis
Let my life be wrecked

If choosing to stay
Then a price must be paid
Sign a contract in blood
I'm forever your slave

You're heartless and cold
The Devil, you might be
Yours to torture forever
Just don't ever leave
To the deepest of pits
You just take me and throw
From the world I am absent
So far down below
Other people prefer
To Hell travel than know
But for me I'd give all
Please just don't ever go

Thank you CJ for your poetic comment that inspired me to write this additional epilogue  =^)

Written: June 14, 2018
[epilogue written: April 25, 2019]

All rights reserved.
[Amphibrachic Hexameter format]
duane hall Apr 12
I once  met me a woman, she put me in my place
She said I was a chauvinist, an absolute disgrace
I'm one hundred percent male, I readily  admit
But just because it's true you shouldn't throw a fit
She reached into her purse, pulled out a can of mace
She put her finger on the trigger and shoved it in my face
My reflexes got the best of her, her aim was high and wide
She scared the hell right out of me to that I will confide
I love the female intellect to that I won't deny
I love the female form in every shape and size
If that makes me a pervert I'll wear the badge with pride
We'll leave it to the jury, it's their case to decide
You see  them all around you, there's wackos everywhere
The madness on the street is way beyond compare
The inmates run the asylum, I'm really not amused
Must be the golden age of the utterly confused.
Ashley Chapman Sep 2017
In pubs with bar flies.
Kronenburg, Becks, Carling, Stella Artois and Fosters,
Dancing in our blood,
Utterly inured; we are endured by all:
The solipsism most profound.

And when Johnnie, Jack and Jameson join,
The sentimental and the morbid
Are conjoined.

And ****!
In the custody of beer halls,
The shadows that draw, fade,
And calls – e’en Death’s! -- are put on hold!
No time; instead, before the last, another pint.

For in this hallowed inn,
Drinking what’s in the glass,
And espousing the glow within,
Cares regress.

No woes,
Or loaded psyches,
For when the pressure builds,
The best: a jet of yellow bliss,
Relieves the pain,
On Armitage Shanks' porcelain.
Quinn's is pub in Camden. Armitage Shanks a ****** & toilet manufacturer.
Purcy Flaherty Nov 2018
You came to me like a fairytale,
I held you close; I looked into your eyes,
they were deep and full of soul; chancing fate.
I kissed your neck and shoulders, your belly and your ***,
We took each others bodies and tasted freedom.
~
I couldn't help feeling this was your one and only,
A secret that you'll keep to your self ~ "A happy thought!"
Secure in the knowledge that you were once utterly cherished;
And that you alone would choose martyrdom; rather than embracing change.
choosing martyrdom and brutal familiarity rather than embracing change.
Bella Jul 2018
Sometimes I get stuck in this state of Darkness
where my eyes can see
but it's like my head is just pitch black
and I almost wish I couldn't see anything,
like I wish I could just curl myself into a ball so tightly that I disappear from space for a while

sometimes I get stuck in this space
and I feel like my tears and my thoughts
are climbing up my esophagus and clogging my throat
blocking my airway
suffocating me from the inside

maybe I never told you I was depressed because who wants to relive that moment
that choking hazard moment of cotton ***** in my throat

maybe I never told you I was depressed because there are no words I can use to describe it that don't transform themselves into their meanings
that don't take over my mind
crawl through my head like little worms
eating away at my brain
my thoughts
my skin

have you ever thought of a traumatic experience and then felt those events happening again
felt the dark hole of life-threatening-trauma attack your mind
Shiver through your body
like it was a demon you let in through a memory-
through a word

maybe I didn't tell you I was depressed
because I wasn't strong enough
my depression fills me to the brim
fills my head and my chest
my arms and my fingers
I can feel it moving through my body
I can feel it expanding and engulfing everything inside of me
every last vein, nerve, *****, and tissue
how can you expect me to have the energy to fight
how can you expect me to have the energy to pick up the phone
to open my mouth
how can you expect me to have energy-to have the courage to utter the words of how I feel
I feel so worthless
in those moments I feel like there's this black whole inside me and it's consuming everything
it's taking everything but my skin
and it disgusts me

can you imagine the feeling,
having something so utterly repulsive on your skin you had to scrape it off immediately
It felt like you needed to be cleansed
like you needed a shower
take that feeling
now imagine it being under your skin
imagine, every muscle ***** vein nerve every cell in your body underneath your epidermis disgusts you
imagine all you wanted to do was to
GET
IT
OFF
and you can't
no matter how hard you try
you can't scrape it off
you can't claw It off

imagine you're scared of spiders
now imagine you're covered in spiders
and someone's holding down your arms
so you can't get them off
imagine them walking on your skin
in your mouth
crawling on your open eyes
in your ears
you're cringing at your own skin
You can feel them going down your throat
Their disgusting tickle in the pit of your stomach
in every crevice of your body
their tunneling under your skin
and you can't get them off
what are you supposed to do
but cry
My best friend's mom who doesn't believe in depression asked why I never told her I was depressed...
Empire May 22
What happened to me?
I used to care
About absolutely everything
I'd weep with my sister
I'd make sure I always did my work
I was never late
And it mattered to me
But now,
These things don't seem to matter
In my head, I know what they are
I know how I ought to react
And then I find myself
Utterly blank
I just don't care
Did I realize what was trivial?
Or did I lose some of myself?
I truly can't tell.
Have I traded crippling anxiety for nagging indifference? I suppose that's better...
Alyssa Underwood Jul 2016
Come after me, O glorious Divine Possessor.
Conquer, shackle, and entomb my straying,
faithless affections in Your love once more.
Sweep me up into Your strong and jealous
embrace till my heart is fully bent toward Yours.
Have Your way with me until it is all I desire,
until You are all I desire, Lord Jesus.
Unveil me, uncover me and unbind me
before Your penetrating eyes, the perfect gaze
of You with Whom alone I have to do.
Awaken me until I am wholly abandoned
to Your pleasure, completely responsive
to Your touch, utterly enraptured,
enthralled and entangled with You.
Break me for Your glory, sovereign Lord.
Pierce my soul to its deepest hidden parts
and pour Yourself into me until You have
totally claimed me as Your own possession,
Your willing captive, until there is no delight
in my heart but You and Your delight.
O Holy One above, set me to burning!
Inspired by John Donne's Holy Sonnet XIV
William Eberlein Feb 2013
I keep myself awake at night.
Because if I fall asleep
there is no doubt
that I will dream of you.

I am utterly afraid
to fall for you.

Yet what my mind and body do not understand,
but my soul alone comprehends,
is that I have already done so.
Steven Cole Aug 2018
If I could be a better man
I'd have enough insight
To always come up with a plan
In times of trouble, danger, or distress
I'd keep my emotions under control
And never run out of rational sense
No circumstances would ever drown me
Or rise above my head
Because I'd know how to swim the currents
And land on solid ground instead


If I could be a better man
I'd have the courage to follow through
With every noble goal I set
And every appeal to selflessness
I am tempted to forget
There'd never be a task
I couldn't undertake
Even if it meant
My life was at stake
Money, time and resources
Would never grow on me
But I'd give of these objects endlessly
And at the end of the day
I'd still know how
To be completely and utterly free


If I could be a better man
I'd never fear the entity of change
But embrace this shrewd reality
Unhindered by its pace
I'd keep a face like solid flint
When revolution
Threatened to derange
At will I'd change my emotions
To better fit each phase
Each chapter of life
From page to page
I'd wire my brain to electrically flow
Smoothly and flawlessly
Everywhere I'd go


If I could be a better man
I'd never struggle with uncertainty
But always know what choice to make
No matter the options that lay before me
I'd never have to second guess
Overthink, obsess or stress
The presented realities and decisions of life
A special wisdom I'd possess
A knowing in my gut and heart
Of all that is my destiny
The truth itself becoming my eyes
Opening them to forever see
The truth through life to be my incline
Never escaping me



If I could be a better man
I'd always be a man of my word
Letting my actions always
Positively confirm the things you heard
I'd mean every syllable I spoke to you
With fiery convictions I knew to be true
I'd always know how to communicate
And wouldn't let grievous words
Separate
Relationships so vital and true
The stuff we're made for
And shouldn't undo


If I could be a better man
I'd be a fountain of virtues flowing
Ever going
Like a rumbling and roaring
and rushing waterfall
Dazzlingly Tall

Wisdom

    Prudence

   Diligence

  Patience

Courage

  And Emotional Intelligence

     Faithfulness

   Rectitude

  Purity

  Relentless tenacity

    Fortitude

      And overall confidence

                                            With surety


If I could be the perfect man
There'd be one thing I'd always know how to do
And that is, my friend, in all sincerity
Faithfully loving you


But since I know
I am far from perfect
I will do the best I can
And though I fail now and then
I will get back up
And stand
I will seek forgiveness
Down on my knees
Ask God for strength,
Grace and Mercy please
My weaknesses I'll count as blessings
And thank God I don't have to be
The Savior of the world
Superman
Who for comfort, has no need
I'm not staying,
it's my blame.
I'll leave the innocent;
I'm not the same.
I've got blood on my hands.
Pressure to understand.
You're right.
You've always been.
I tend to forget.
I won't bother you,
still my existence bothers me.
My mind smothers me.
The nights scare me;
comfort is scarce.
The dark makes things worse,
and this silence hurts.
It can be so loud,
the noise of nothing.
The sounds of your thoughts,
utterly isolated.
I love y'all;
but I don't love me.
I can't live up to what you all think of me-
all feedback is welcome and appreciated!
MeanAileen Oct 2018
You are just so toxic to me
of that I surly know...
But try as I might, I simply can't
ever seem to let you go.
Your lips are laced with venom
killing me with your wicked kiss...
Burning a path straight to my heart
but the taste, I just can't resist.
Your eyes hypnotize like voodoo
trapping me in a trance...
Utterly powerless against their magic,
never did I stand a chance.
Your hands are lined with kryptonite
weakning me with one touch...
Never has something so paralyzing
made me crave it so much.
Loving you is straight poison,
the ****** to my vein...
So very hazardous to my health
but the ultimate high to my brain.
Ugh...
Chantell Wild May 14
When you
Look at me
I feel electrified
Almost terrified
I know just what
Would happen
If you happened to me  
If I had to
Happen upon you
I would be utterly
Absolutely intoxicated
By you.
zebra Mar 2017
split the atom an we get fission
mass becomes energy
but can we split a second
enter the essence of the present
what would it mean to us
to be that mindful

ask your self doesn't your mind
only occupy past future
abjectly incapable of living in the present
in the true present there could not be even a ghost of a thought
theres no time to think

can we enter
an incalculable split second
and totally take in that instant
with a forgotten organic technology

is it the big bang in perpetuity
yet quiet as a mute
a raging ever expanding sea in a connected
but distinct dimension

if you entered it
would it not utterly erases all of history
the thinkers and doers along with it
the step beyond the alpha and omega
the great underlining reality

imagine the penetrated moment
an all consuming unimaginable
trans-mutational merge
omnipotent
yet forever imperceptible
to those among us
time locked
an irreducible limitation
like an ant in a closed paper bag
a fixated reflexive machine
wandering aimlessly
with an unknowable mission
and a relentless survival mechanism
with no chance of survival

time as a cosmic metabolism
its medium space
a vast cauldron
an infinite vessel containing endless points of light

everywhere
myriad phenomena
its terrain and the temporal creatures that inhabit it
both exquisite and hideous
an incalculable zoo
histories victors and victims
one and all vanquished
by the curse
consciousness of dis-juncture
a merciless countenance of limitation

yet could time be an illusion
rooted in a narrow awareness
bereft of an eternal
inexhaustible self effulgent now
the rapture
an eternal ******

if we could only penetrate into it
would it swallow us
and blot out the drama of creations theater

is the
now
conscious
illimitable
ecstatic
a perfect meta moment ?

we hear from sacred texts
like the Vedas... Bhagavad Gita.... and Kabbalah
that we may enter beyond the veil
passed time and its ravages
passed mind and its distortions

not to the heaven of religion
in its endless
closed system precepts
anthropomorphic metaphors
theistic gobbledygook
and
sophomoric social engineering
a kind of cliffs notes
god for dummies

we can enter
the eternal abode of the divine
a point between
the splitting of seconds
revealed through the simple act of mindful breathing
pierced by the effort of a focused mind
we definitely can!
but do we dare?
Nida Mahmoed Jan 2018
Women are Human,
When you utterly feel
the power of this one line,
World will automatically turns so divine!

By; Nida Mahmoed
Willow Jul 2018
These are the words I would never tell you,
Your smile, your eyes, your hair, that is just a plus to you, but your personality is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I thought after one year, the crush would be over but I was wrong.
7 years later and I'm still completely and utterly in love with you. You're the person I look for when I walk in a room, you're the person I can mess with their hair and wouldn't care. You're the person that I can throw a pencil at and make you pick it up and wouldn't get mad. You're the only man I trust, and you know how much I don't trust them. But I know I can tell every single secret but one and you wouldn't tell another soul. When you told me you believed in me, a piece of my broken heart went into it's place like a puzzle piece.
Wasn't sure if I wanted to publish this or not but **** it.


The secret I can't tell him is that I love him :)
Mike T Minehan Nov 2012
Hey my little sweetheart,
I want you to know
that I’m launching this poem
across space and time.
I’m posting it up in the heavens
to let the universe see
that I love you
utterly and completely
and unconditionally.
Yes, you died in my arms and
flew far away,
but your light never left me, see,
and now I'm sending it to glow
gloriously across the galaxies
over all of time.
Yes, your name is Lorayne
and now you will never be forgotten.
You should reign as long as
love itself is loved
and as long as
love poems light up
the darkness of our lives.

Mike T Minehan
Kara Ashley Jan 7
A poem for me, utterly confused

My feet hurt
From running on the rough edge of the street
No shoes, no socks
My hair and clothes were soaked by now
Completely drenched in rain and desolation
Each drop another word or name you called me

Dissatisfaction on the tip of my tongue
But i couldn’t reach for answers
What on earth did I do this time
To be deemed so unworthy
To be called so unholy
To be hurt, yet again
By you

i ran
I ran so my heart could run rampant, avoiding the pit of hell below,
my stomach
Which burned with acid, churned with bitterness
Poignancy pulsing through my veins
I longed for a place to call home
determined and dejected
I gasped for each breath of mild dewy air
And tasted the cynical sweetness

All I could think of was why can’t the sun make it all go away

L e a v e m e a l o n e
Angelina Mar 2016
Color, one word, thousands of references
It is an illusion, science perhaps may explain it
But people have utterly transformed its definition over the past decades
Is it pride? Is it wealth you carry within you once you are born precious yet so fragile?

Define it for me
Release the inner load of prejudiced assumptions
Passed down from generation to generation
Do not be afraid to speak your mind
For you are enlightening me
Go on, define it for me

Red, orange, blue and green
Purple, pink, white and colors we've already seen
Came in touch with, and accepted for what they seem
Whom we do not hesitate adoring, whilst waiting for what more of them there is to see

Colors, beautiful bundles of joy
Billions of them undiscovered
Yet willing to view
And yet unwilling to embrace one another solely because our skin tone is a shade darker, or a shade lighter?

I'm sorry, I thought we loved the thought of not having to unlock our gates to gardens full of plain, dark pigmented red roses
There's got to be the lighter pigmented ones and the yet to blossom ones
The ones that are yet to be labeled
By humanity's impaired vision
Art is a hell of a *******
drug, I tell you
it surreptitiously creeps
into you in a way that is
utterly indecipherable,

and lures you deep;
deep into it as the void above...

For the eye loves
what it sees,
and what's been seen
by the eye
is rather fascinating to the soul,

Amidst all these
Overwhelming emotions,
a harmonic converge
between the eye and the soul
is created,

Fostering a sui generis ecstatic rhapsody!
TT Aug 2017
I am closed
My heart, barricaded
Molded together by unequivocal fear and total agony
It lies in bleak solitude
Pulsating with every emotion,
Yet left it it's cage, utterly dissatisfied
There are times when my heart can hear
It can hear the beckoning call of my suitor,
Begging this troubled heart to mend his pain
At times, it might understand the misery
Though, it is reminded readily,
That these walls are not meant for destruction
That these walls, shall instead last a lifetime

My heart cannot fix you,
My heart cannot fix this
It is unable to mend your wounds,
As mine have yet to heal
Nat Lipstadt Dec 2017
at the point of entry (explicit)

it does not strike me strange
at the point of entry
when the heightened senses and the dark subconscious merge

when the lust and the sweat intersect
with ego desire and self is everlasting everything
that the ***** words secretion is sticky on my tongue

when I pant poems born in rawness and tears
on this the last day of the year
and eyes closed see visions extraordinaire
and the Maker whispers in both ears see!

it is the see of what is me,
it is the point of entry and departure,
one and the same,
conception an immaculate mess,
the emptying and the fulfilling, when unkempt promises
are born free flowing and semi-truths transform into
actualities unforeseen and my child cells of new poems
are injected, stored, awaiting the birthright
and the death of publication,
my moment of privileged perfection passes
and frowns and smiles are
one and the same, silken thread wove open and shut

the precision precious circumcising of flesh and soul departing

the utter collapse from within, the drowning in the amniotic,
rebirthing rebutting my denying that I have no more to give

I believe I belong to you for it is what the desire firing cylinders
say repeatedly in the union of the up and the down cycle:

come, come inside me,
I am the pleasure
you are the treasure
in one cup measured
conjoined container
when the point of entry is the point of departure
and with eyes closed from satisfaction and prayer
I see everything all at the same time, uttering:

I am undone utterly and the difference between
the end and the beginning can be seen only
at the millisecond long seven decade coming
point of entry

12/31/17 5:38am dawn dying and new day mourning
explicit point of entry 12/31 nml
We found each other at the wrong time
From that moment
We knew exactly what we felt-- a fire ignites that we have to utterly resist
You are with her and I, with him
Who knew then?
That we will both have the same feelings that has been kept for so long

Fate paved a way
We were both in pain
We found ourselves lost
Alone..
The things that we planned for the rest of our lives vanished into thin air and became invisible

Then, we found each other..
Again..
We started something special
You took my pain away
You smiled and laughed with me
So innocent and sincere

For the longest time
We both know what we want
At last!
We can be more than what we had
More than friends
This time
We are both ready

But the odds are still against us
How unfortunate this is
We both have too much to fix
These too shall pass, we know
When? We don't know
And when it does?
Will we be together now?

We both know
We don't want to let each other go
We are both holding on
I won't let go
I won't let you go
I believe in possibilities

Know that I will think of you
I will pray and have faith
Everyday
Let's be strong
You made me feel special
What we have is one in a million
I cannot just throw it away

Everything you told me will be safe with me..
You are the one that I want to keep
Forever..
I think you are the best yet

You will always have me..
Come back and find me
You already found me. Twice.

You can always find your way back to me..

                                                    - Ella Salvador
(c) May 2018
Hannah thomas Apr 2016
We are evenly matched
Or so I thought
So I let down my guard
Thinking I'm alright.

But I placed my bishop
Diagonal three spaces
Perfect position to
put you in check

Realizing that
I've made a mistake
You move your knight
Two spaces forward,

one to the right
Halting my advances
Leaving only my queen
To defend the pride of her king

I defend from your every move
Until you capture her.
Leaving my king exposed
And defenseless

You marvel at it but
Are quick to place her
with the others you have
Captured and controlled

My king scurries
Space by space
Anxious to avoid
The inevitable capture

I am exhausted
Avoidance of you
is utterly impossible
So I give in

I tip over my king
in total surrender
How quick you are
to ****** it into your hands

You revel in your victory
Clinging to my king
My last piece
My last hope

But how quick you are
to discard it
How quickly you let it
tumble down onto the pile

But I forgot..

To you

This is just a game of chess
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