hes skipping the blank parts.
fire spewed speaking out his eye and everything.

swear it lets the silence in.
to ***** midmorning naught but bile

and tar from your lung, sour taste on tongue 'and charred resinous lips and cankers in mouth.

skipping the blank parts.
this is too much to put in words it pains darling like mouth is faucet ears are ringing sight is grey and unwholesome nerves are sweaty like wrists and jaws too. heart thick heavy beating like a ******* palms and brow sweaty

a new nightmare never sleep gone delirious ever after think only of the thee and the thine and what can i do to make it stop naught but drink for ever after.

early sunday is the worst day. days are ever after cursed is sunday and the bad day, was always was it leads to monday and the no sleep and you go to school or work and they all know you are so tired

so id rather skip the blank parts and spend in blankets cold and clutching to this bottle ever afer like a baby cuz its nicer when its blank here.

------------

so now its the dawn gray, the child breathes in all the nerves of the surrounding block and breathes in.

what thoughts there darling stir that tattered man of child man of scattered breaths and
and of least action least least resistance

night smokes away in his lungs.

his sight unsteady and grey, **** the stars.

his head holds the stars as he passes away.

he thinks, "I dont wanna be astounding, I dont wanna be anything, the dreams, i smoke the night away...why wont they listen?"

the yammering outside his windows

he clutch the sill, needs for balance and hes sweating thinks the week back in his memory. did something dumb but he skips the blank parts like a movie but its not his cellophane life its becoming more like that he thinks

-------------

the cats outside his window yammering outside his window

"headache man and the sunup surprise" he thinks, garlictongued and glittering of sweat.
something strange here something dumb something wicked.
like melodica, im disturbed in step

hitched his pants hitched breathing summer sweet midsummer nightmare is the thirst and drink.

"and somehow it helps" he thinks, head droning like the bees they are buzzing out his window, but screech in speak like the crickets

the air might ripe and seethe.

he can barely breathe.

the scarlet cheeked is he and fairly farther from himself than usual, laid away in pace and time and people, all else arrested. the vines now they crawl along his sill on which he clutches ever after pick the roses from his cheek.



and so he often thinks of it, and his peers think its selfish, but he pronounces himself in such ways as to make it pronounced that he is thinking of this.
and they give him no consideration, no pause or gaze to entitle him to a moment's breath of doubt,
that he is most gnawingly alone.

they gather no cinema, no accord, no intervention. they simply do not comment upon his lost thoughts. and this no comment, for him it seems, gives him validation for his, heretofore mentioned, but heretofore implied, unmitigated and (some may say) uncalled for unarrival.

there are no senates in the state of human. only the mindnumbing pain that is his sour being, upon which he has coerced the subject upon the senate to be impressed:
that he is waiting for the right moment, to be impressed.

to be enough to take himself.

it is not pity, but such a bitter impulse.
that brings him to himself, to take.

------------

and as father of all pronouncements, the species of newspaper blaired...
"the king is dead, long live the king."
so of which he was reading, was par for the course.
he sat down with his wife, and his son, and he spoke to them gracefully in his normal fathers and mothersfamily whisper, he said:

"this is the time when we must eat our cereal, and be well-versed in our gods, and our gaols. and we must believe in the powers that be. for they have told us no lies and will tell us no lies. and if it not so, then this paper begs the difference.
this paper...pulp...and felt, and gold, and ink. will never speak of us naught.
and for what they proclaim to us, the masses, is written in ink,

and thus, so stone.

so believe."

so god ate his wheaties that day.

------

and so i rant and so i speak in illogicals and i so im biased i know.
this is what it takes to be a journal and to filter all the bad ***** things that are black out of the poets mind.

so blame it on cadence, blame it on speak, blame it on linguistics, blame it on my upraising, blame it on an apathetic attitude,

i dont care, just blame it.

just it is my mood and it will not be forgotten, it is me that is scribing this sentence, so it is not forgotten, on the fence and bethrothed to many ideals hence so i be,

i am not an idiot.
i am no coward.
i am not a leech, nor am i a parasite, nor i am a murderer, nor am i criminal.

i sit still still with moles burrowing their burrs into the underground, waiting for the tunnel, and so, the light.

Within this jungle, which is ours
I ride the back of Thunder-cloud, my friend

Around and through the thickets
thick banyan trees & palm fruit fallen leaves

Down muddy earthen paths
until everything is green and shadows

until inside its heart, the rain forest
trees of this jungle are city buildings - tall

and choir of fauna high and low
do not fear to sing beneath our cathedral's shade

In this kingdom of flora and ruby rich dirt
belongs to thunder-cloud and dirt-poor me

A Mowgli on his elephant,
hollars ahead to any that hear "We are free!"

Here, far from the whips' lashing, guns,
away from the loud business of murderous money

They who say that I am nothing
in their eyes who abacus my worth with looks

with upraising lust of wolves
but I a free man, a simpleton for beloved (Earth)

I am dark skinned
Krishna on my steed of thunder-clouds

A native son of brown & green wilderness
caterwauling to the beyonds unknown

Within our jungle, brother thunder,
my elephant of deep clouds gray

we are Mammoth and as wild as wide
as open as free... with every step forward

on this living journey
we will take

a peaceful kind of smile
will only be what is written
                                                       upon each lovely lovely face




*(Within our jungles...we live simply
without the Man's hate
not today will I hunger, nor will I thirst
fed on real wonder, drank clouds of Himalayan rain
without a rupee to my name... on the back of thunder
my gentle Ganesh - I have no one to blame.)

Objection

Bankrupt blood pulses
and always has through my veins

Objection

Gender-fukt oblivion
alone rises into view

I'll never be the dollar's friend
Paper will not be mine

Objection

Bad upraising
I'll raise up worse

I dedicate myself to you and your happiness,
I dedicate my upraising to bring a smile to your eyes,
And I dedicate everything I can be to your peace.

As I wake up every morning, whether or not the sun's in the sky,
And I can sit up and get to my feet, walk outside -
It's more than I deserve in this life,
And it's everything from you that's been taken away.

To be able to go and sit at the piano,
Not knowing one key from an arpeggio, but having the ability to play,
Is what I want you to have from my life.
That maybe, despite what is a hindrance to you,
I can use mine to bring you a delight.

And though I may not be able to bring back what has been taken away,
I can use my faculties to let you forget for a second,
To take you away on the waves of my voice
And raise you up in the sky, hold your head up in the clouds,
Making you light as the air, removing some of your cares,
Helping you forget, if only for a moment, the trials of life,
And it's all worth it to bring your smile to light.

Though another day passes,
once having arrived,
cinnamon sunny
with a misguided preaching
from a catholic church,

I recall our gorgeous
misty evening
right by the waves
from yesterday
and its one peculiar
moment:
my dad pointed to
a far away regatta
sailing in
a distance
whilst standing to my
right and asked
me not quoting

“Do you know why
I wanted to go
to the sea?
The vastness of that body,
no endings in infinity,
no one to tell me
what to do,
and once you sailed away
from the harbour
it was just
it
living.

Whilst I was on my night shift
at the very front
of the ship
on my ever first voyage
by sea,
heading to
England from Gdynia,
I felt as if I
was the very first
man to discover the oncoming
land,
like Cristopher Columbus
with his dear Santa María
breaking the waves”.

Yes, Dad.
I would add,
settled in my question

“Why do I long somehow
in smaller
or bigger
ways too at
times for that
aforementioned harbour
and otherness with so many
sounds, details,
lights and
dancing dangerous like
knives in a tavern
thrown?
For so similar
yet
so privately schemed
departures I paint?”,

I would answer
without Brain,
even if it would be solely
in perfect, dreamy way
sketched:

“Because there is
some greater and
truer breath
of mine held out
by a foreign hand
or by standing lonely
from the other mirror’s side
in front of some tremendous
waves of Kanagawa,
hugging itself small
yet with fearless Child’s
patience, like
the Young Verter
on his painting.
Some more abstract
and
breathtaking
with charisma image
of me there
stands, flowing
instead of walking,
through called aisles.
Beige coat into the
blue falling.

The No Man’s Skies
and Lands
(or yet
Of Some Men)
to be felt with all
the body and
upraising in all hues
and minute sacrifices
in speechless
wonders,
like lagoon’s turquoise
water that would shine
in a cave’s dark
with krill dancing.”

Some upholdings,
some blind images
and all rest
fresh,
windy,
dark
and light with grey
whose voicing
I cannot make,
not just to keep
it in immaculation
to stay non-maimed.

Tss
Ouch.
The Missing.

El,
ese,
acantilado.

I'm in a heart of a tree,
Thoughtless yet thoughtful being,
Where a stagnant melody of silence,
Blossoms with poignant dreams.

I'm in a core of the tree,
Growing in a womb, living thing,
Where I fight against a crave to fly,
To ignite an arabesque of the satin sky.

Upraising under watchful eye of ambiguous fate,
Unaware, uncertain, about flow and change,
Unbounded yet rooted, free yet unable to move,
Wanderer returning home, or one that never left its gate.

Light breeze sparks shiver,
Raise what have sunk in slumber,
Echoing a calling to rush,
Into a golden stream of brightness.

I am in the heart of the tree,
Awake, though it feels like a dream.
Am I the heart itself or merely a child?
My farewell...
                         will it bring my beginning or your demise?