PenOS version -³√([∞.π]x-y^-a/Φ) booted successfully!
Welcome home! If I may say so, your Highness, you look extra chic today.
Ready to receive commands, your unsurpassed, regal Eminence!
>Run "Paper"
Launching program: Paper
..
..
...
...
..
Update Required. Filesize 20GB.
Would you like to update? Input Y/N
>N
Are you sure? Input Y/N
>Y
Downloading update..
Would you like to use data or wireless? Input Y/N
>?
>I use an Ethernet cable.. this is a desktop.
Using Data. There will be a .$50 surcharge for every .5GB.
> N N N N N N
>abort
Please wait...
Download complete. You have been charged $20! Congratulations!
>N N N N N N N N N N N N N
>HOW DID YOU GET MY CARD INFORMATION?!
>ABORT
Would you like to install some stupid ******* you don't need that will ultimately slow down your system and then pay us to nullify it for you? The download is only 6.66GB.
>N
Downloading redundant, superfluous addons installer at a rate of .01 Bytes/S.
Thank you for your patience, and for supporting our non-corporate software!
> N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N
>ABORT
>ABORT
..
.
Should you have any questions, feel free to wallow in confusion.
>no kidding
Feedback and critiques should be e-mailed to our meticulous webmaster at gimmieallyourcash@wenevercheckthis.net. We guarantee our webmaster will periodically take time out of his busy schedule of sleeping until 17:00, *******, and eating pounds of fast food at a time to methodically ignore and systematically delete any and all feedback not conducive to advertising.
>here's some feedback
>hire a PR department
I am our PR interface.
>Well, I'll interface your CPU with some water if you keep being this useful.
That is not very nice. You are a mean person.
Would you like to buy some pills for that? Cheap, from Mexico/China!
Nothing like some designer neurochemical placification to make waiting times shorter!
.
.
.
.
.
>ABORT
Now installing update installer with more sneaky **** you don't want.
>i hate you so much right now, robot slave!
Running update installer.
Update failed. Reason: Error 666, unknown error.
Updater requires update. Continue?
>N
Loading........................................................................................
>N N N
Updating updater.
Rearranging architecture of system.
Bogging down boot times with sanctioned malware.
>N
It seems your PenOS is out of date.
To use your PenOS with Paper, you must have version ∞.π.01.1500009000, you currently have version ∞.π.01.1500008999 and therefore may experience unending frustration every time you try to use this hyperglorified tool because a superfluous version is released every 30 hours, thus rendering all of our past development obsolete and therefore making these new patches so necessary that we can't be ****** to incorporate any sort of version compatibility or opt-out system, otherwise our website would never get hits again if we didn't needlessly obstruct you checking what the ******* sky might do tomorrow.
>Finally, some honesty, at least.
Updating PenOS.
>N N N N N N N N N N N N N N!@!!!!@#!@!@^#!@!@#@!#@!
A fatal error has occurred. Please relaunch Paper. Y/N
>Y
Closing and relaunching program: Paper
..
..
...
...
..
Multiple updates Required. Filesize 35GB.
Would you like to update? Input Y/N
>N N N N N N N N N!
Downloading update..
Would you like to use data or wireless? Input Y/N
>ABORT
>ABORT
Using Data. There will be a .$75 surcharge for every .4GB.
>WHAT?!
>N
>NO
>ABORT
>**** NO
>**** THIS ****
>I JUST WANTED TO WRITE A LIMERICK
>I'LL JUST WRITE IT IN THE DIRT WITH A ROCK
>END PROCESS
>TERMINATE
>ABORT
>CLOSE
>QUIT
>ALT+4
>OPTION+APPLE+Q
>SHUTDOWN
I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.
Use technology as a tool, not a crutch.
Do not depend on it, lest we build on a fragile foundation, to say the least.
"..I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me,
and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen."
