Lying unnerve on ottoman,
Talking to the moon,
Brume are lavushing,
Thunder are lightning,

Lying unnerve on ottoman,
Talkin to the moon,
Being a stolid person to a monument,
From a calm situation to predicament,

Lying unnerve on ottoman,
Talking to the moon,
Meh the prat was structed in morass,
She gamed murky and i suffered onerous,

Does it ever unnerve you to think, at night, at home
That despite the innumerable odds for life elsewhere
We are, or to the extent of our knowledge, all alone?
This I find, is nearly too much at times to bear

Does it ever unnerve you to think, at night, in bed
That despite the billions of people on this earth
You rarely meet new people, because of all you left unsaid?
Due to some misplaced, and wrong sense of self worth?

Does it ever unnerve you to think, at dusk, at home
That despite both the innumerable odds for life elsewhere
And the billions of people on this earth, we still feel alone?

She came up to me one day in the office seeking help
She'd heard me talking about my nightmares
She was a lovely looking thing, she was big into dieting and health food and healthy eating
Some of the other girls used to consult her about such matters
Thinking her to be quite an authority on the subject
I think she might have had a sideline too selling some Health products
She was a...a gorgeous looking creature, she had lovely blonde hair which framed her beautiful oval face like a heavenly aura,
Maintaining always a resolutely bright and cheerful disposition
She radiated positivity and optimism wherever she went
(I suspected secretly that when she got home she probably kicked her cat around)
I'd be all agog just looking at her
I suppose yes! I probably had a little crush on her
Unfortunately I was a good deal older than she
So I could only see myself as a secret admirer, a dark lover from afar...

She'd been acting a little peculiarly of late since returning from her Easter holidays
I wasn't the only one to remark about it
Gone was her usual self assured poise and grace
Gone too her lovely bright positive glow
It was like some sudden terrible tragedy had befallen her
Like some big dark ominous cloud had suddenly appeared on her horizon
Now she seemed rushed and frazzled, strangely distracted, unsure of herself, hesitant
Clumsy, apologetic, not at all like her usual confident self.

So she came up to me when I was alone one day and asked "You know something about nightmares, don't you"
She proceeded to tell me this story
She used to drive to work but because of the unusually mild and clement sunny Spring weather coming up to Easter
She had decided to leave her car at home and walk to work
Probably thinking it to be healthier I suppose
The route she took meant she had to pass by a certain newsagents *** confectionery /sweet shop
Now coming up to Easter as it was
The owner of the shop had strategically placed in the front window of his shop a big Easter egg
Wrapped in pretty ribbons and bows and encased in a very colourful, most alluring box
Every day she had to pass this shop with its lovely chocolate egg prominently displayed
You probably know where this is going,
Yea! A secret longing began to grow in her
Passing that shop every day and seeing that big chocolate egg started to rekindle in her memories of the days when as a child she used visit her local Sweet shop
When the only ambition she had was to get enough money so she could buy the newest chocolate or sweet
She began to remember fondly thoughts of all the old chocolate bars and sweets she used to eat
Anyway this longing, this desire of hers... each day it grew stronger and stronger until finally, like a river bursting a dam
Yea, like a huge monster, it finally overwhelmed her
Yes! She... she SUCCUMBED!

One evening she drove her car to the shop and parked on the opposite side of the street
There she waited till the street was deserted, with no one around
When the coast was clear, she got out of the car carrying a big shopping bag
Wearing a big hat and dark sunglasses just like a movie star
She went into the shop and told the shop girl she wanted the big Easter egg in the front window
She lied telling her it was for her little nephew
She hastily paid for the Egg, then quickly bundled it into her shopping bag carefully covering it up with other items so no one would see
Then hurriedly she left the shop, crossed the street with her head bowed, got into her car and quickly sped off
Over the next two days, in an **** of orgiastic chocolate eating, she secretly gorged upon, devoured all by herself the entire Easter egg
When she had finished, she sat there, a sullen lump among the ruins of her feast
Bits of ribbons and bows and torn box strewn all around her
Almost immediately she began to suffer pangs of guilt, berating herself repeatedly and bitterly for her lack of will power and mental strength, for her perceived weakness of character
This went on for the next few days, she just couldn't bring herself to forgive her behaviour
And she couldn't fathom how she had let this desire overcome her
...Then curiously, she began to experience a strange recurring dream at night,
She'd dream that she went one evening to another part of town where she wasn't known again to buy her Easter egg
There was no one around at that hour
She'd buy her Easter egg, tell her little lie about her nephew, then bundle the Egg into her bag and cover it just like before,
Then she'd leave the shop and head down some backstreets not wanting to be seen by anyone she knew
At that time of evening the shadows had begun to lengthen, the backstreets were very quiet and deserted, had a very lonesome forlorn air
As she walked along, she suddenly began to hear what she thought were the sound of footsteps behind her, the tread of feet behind her...Big feet, Bom-bom-bom!
She'd turn around but couldn't see anything, not a soul and not a sound only silence
She'd continue walking and the sound of the Big feet would start up again
Naturally this began to unnerve her, she turned and called back at the shadows
"Is there anybody there?"
But no answer was forthcoming
She'd walk on and again the sound of the Big feet would come Bom-bom-bom!
By this time she had become so unnerved, so completely flummoxed that in a state of utter panic
She suddenly took off at a frantic girly gallop down the narrow backstreets
Behind her she could hear the sound of the Big feet quickening, coming after her
In a quick change of plan she decided to climb some steps that would take her back to the Main Street again
She hoped there'd be other people there who might be able to protect her
She was very disappointed then when she found not a soul upon the whole street
Well she ran and she ran, she tore down her own street and with key in hand she quickly opened her front door, then slammed it shut fastening all the locks and bolts as she did
With this done she heaved a huge sigh of relief, a huge 'Phew!" and wiped the beads of sweat from her brow
She backed slowly away from the door almost as if she was expecting at any moment, there'd be a mad pounding on it, as if some strange belligerent entity would be trying to gain entry.
She kept backing up, the suspense almost too hard to bear
Suddenly she bumped into something behind her, something big and soft... and furry
Soft and furry ???
She turned and well, her mouth, it dropped wide open in utter shock and disbelief
Her eyes, they nearly popped out of her head
For there standing before her was... THE CREATURE
"It was hideous !" she said tearfully
"What was hideous?" I replied quite intrigued at this stage
"It was a Big Rabbit !"
"A big...a Big Bunny 🐰 ?" I said
She went on explaining, standing before her was a giant seven foot Easter Bunny
"A seven footer eh!" I said as if I was knowledgeable about these things, which I wasn't
She continued with her story, the rabbit he had big floppy ears, big buck teeth, a twitchy nose and whiskers 🐰
And on his face he wore this pretty gormless vacant expression🤡
He was wearing a waistcoat which had all these Easter egg 🥚🥚 designs on it
And on his front paws were these two big red boxing gloves 🥊🥊
She looked around desperately for some means of escape but Alas!
For her THERE WAS NO ESCAPE, she swallowed hard
Suddenly the giant Rabbit's teeth began to
natter
As if he was considering some imminent action
Then totally without warning one of his boxing gloves
It suddenly shot out and punched her right on the nose knocking her clean out on the floor
As she sprawled there dazed and utterly confused, the Big Bunny, he looked down at her with his big eyes 👀
And then, with a sudden leap which surprised even her
He jumped right up onto her chest where he proceeded to bounce up and down on top of her
Of course, here she'd awaken from the dream drenched in sweat and screaming for the Giant Bunny 🐰 to get off her.
When she had finished her story she buried her head in her hands and sobbed quietly for a few moments before regaining her composure
She seemed very relieved to have gotten it all off her chest, the story that is not the Bunny
Well I suppose she was glad to get him off as well
She went on to say how stressed she felt during the day, how she found it hard to focus on anything as she was too busy thinking about the night to come and the arrival of her unwelcome guest
She looked at me pleadingly "He'll be there again, I know it, with those big eyes of his" she blubbed half in tears
It seemed obvious to me what'd happened, mentally she'd been beating herself up
And now her Subconscious was merely reciprocating by creating this giant Bunny to chastise her
It was just a manifestation of the guilt she felt for eating the Easter egg
For a moment I felt like I was Sigmund Freud.
I told her what I thought and said she shouldn't beat herself up, I told her we all had our temptations and that at times, few of us were strong enough to withstand their advances
I told her of the importance of forgiving herself
But nothing seemed to placate her
She still seemed overly concerned about the coming night and the prospect of the giant Bunny's re-appearance
She catastrophized and saw only dark things ahead
I knew I had to say something authoritive
Suddenly I had an idea, I put my arm around her shoulders as if to console her
"Look my child", I said really beginning to warm to my Father Confessor role
"The Beast! Do you really want rid of this Beast ?"
"Yes! I do! I do!", she replied emphatically
"Really! You really want to get rid of him!" I said as if to question her resolve
"Yes! Yes! I'd do anything" she replied
I felt we had to send a strong message to her Subconscious mind -
I told her "This is what you must do. After work go down to the same Sweet shop and there buy the most expensive ornate Box of Chocolates you can find 🎁
But this time instead of bringing them home with you, bring them instead to my house...
To the above advice I added a few more instructions
"And that's all I have to do" she said sounding surprised and hopeful once again
"That's all you have to do", I assured her, "you'll have no more trouble from IT ever again".

So in the evening she arrives at my house with a big box of fancy chocolates
I open the door and abruptly ****** the chocolates from off her
I say loudly "These Chocolates are all mine and you can't have any of them
Lovely Chocolates... and their all mine, all mine!!!
And you're not getting any!"
And I let out this evil cackle of a laugh
Then I said rather theatrically to her "**** off!, Get lost! Shoo! Begone! Begone!
And then I slammed the door right in her face
After a few moments I opened the door again
And began to chase her down the path shouting "Begone! Begone! The Chocolates are mine! All mine!"
I even picked up a stick and shook it at her.

The next morning she runs up to me at work with a big smile
"He's gone ! He didn't come last night"
She looked renewed, she positively glowed again
She assured me I'd be her friend for life and that she loved me to bits
For a moment I was beginning to fancy my chances with her
I had visions of the two of us together in some romantic scene
That was until she went on and said that I reminded her of her lovely Uncle Joe
"Her Uncle Joe", I thought, "****!... feckin' Uncle Tom"
Then I thought I should have charged her, yea! charged her just like a hospital consultant
$250 Euros upfront and come back in two weeks for another $250, sorry for a check up I mean.

Well that's it then... that's my Easter story, I've got to go off now and take my afternoon nap
Y'know I've been getting some funny dreams of my own of late,
Yea! I've made a new friend
He's been teaching me how to box.

As I left the house the other day I felt some eyes on me
But, I looked around both front and back and no one did I see
I had this funny feeling as I walked on down the street
They were hidden in the background and were being quite discreet
It really did unnerve me to be watched out in  the dark
But then  I found  my stalker when I walked down  by the park
I turned around so  quickly and looked up in the trees
And there it was ,   I saw it, sitting staring  back at me
A pair of eyes were  smiling, on a cat , the Cheshire kind
When I looked again, I knew again,   that this was just my mind
I'd had this feeling once before a year or so ago
But I'd looked around for someone and that someone didn't show
But here I was years later standing, looking in that tree
At a cat with eyes wide open, sitting, smiling back at me
I said "where did you come from?" and "what is it you want?"
"Why choose me to follow, why am I the one you haunt?"
He blinked and said "I'm sorry, it's is you that chose to choose"
"I'm just here to help your writing, you can say that I'm your Muse"
"You see I surface when you need me, to give your ideas a little push"
"I help filter out the voices, I'm the one that tells them shhhhhh"
"An artist has a model, Lautrec...he had his ******"
"Doyle had his ***** and you can say I'm yours"
"But why a cat?...of all the things there is for to be chosen"
"I don't know he said, maybe your mind was just  frozen!"
"You must like Lewis Carroll for I'm his , not yours, you know"
"And just like back in Wonderland, I know just when to go".
"I know when you are stuck on a word or on some prose"
"That's when I come and help you, come to help show how it goes"
"But, why do you stay hidden, come on  now and  tell me true"
"Who'd believe a tale of talking cats...not me...and I'm sure not you!"
"I'm near and then I'm not so close, I come just when I must"
"Usually, you're on your own, your thoughts you're best to trust"
"To write and share your stories, it takes a leap of faith"
"But who'd believe it if you said you  got your stories from a wraith?"
I thought a bit, and that made sense, there's no way to tell
Even though it's madness, they'd condemn me right to hell
A Cheshire cat who writes your poems and sits up in a tree
Now who would believe that fancy tale ?, certainly not me
He said my mind has many thoughts that should be put to paper
And his job was to come around when ideas began to  taper
Poems, and essays, stories, who knows even a book
I'd only have to dig deep down, and give my mind a look
Before he left I asked him why I'd not seen him before
He said to me "truth be told, you've never opened up that door"
"You've never crossed the threshold to where your mind gives birth"
"To the ideas for all your writing, your imagination hearth"
"But now you know I'm  here for you and here to help you write"
"I'll disappear just like before and I shall say goodnight"
"Before you leave I have to say, I'm glad that this was no ruse"
"And of the things there is around I'm glad it's you I chose to choose!"

long enough
you’re going to get burned

No one comes out clean
except a stillborn

If I disturb you
unnerve you
then I’ve done something

to live for tomorrow is to
live within your small rectangular box
and to cry about the smaller things
even when the box
shows you glimpses of bad things
and the rotators and coolers
grow tired and beg for death

and breathing for another day
is the action you treat dearly
with tomorrows oxygen in your body
and the worries of belt straps
and bad shoes
and overturned glasses
running through your blood like
the rage of a toddler
whose toy has been stolen

and you will move through the day
and see the little things
but without wonder
and the big with agitated disgust
and the prices and movement and sounds
will unnerve you like
the sitting box does when it
throws dead skin at you
under the cover of warmth
and the comfort of silence

and if that box is a home
and the world is alive
then you will be alone
and earth and wind will not bend to you
nor will the songs of those
who cry outside of the structure
who wail for a cause greater than
the man who ate the last donut
or the dictionary being the only book
in the hotel

and now love
now life
now the joy and tears that yield to nothing
and the chemicals that move us to places
we can never describe
they can wait for you
because your light bulbs haven't come yet
and if they had they wouldn't be turned on anyway

Even the truth pauses if
you ask it for the time; a
woman who is smarter than
you still likes it when you
smile at her; every elevator
stops on more than one floor;
a kiss doesn’t always settle
an argument but it still feels
good; if you take the time to
complain about frivolous
things then you already are
its intended victim; there’s
not a woman alive who can
prepare you for the next one;
you will always be unsatisfied
if you take yourself too
seriously; if you can paint
something that you’ve never
seen then you have an
imagination; if you can paint
something that would unnerve
your mother then you are free;
there is nothing you should
ask of someone if you excuse
yourself from the same rules;
a grown-up desires the same
things but knows too much
about tomorrow; if you think
it is too late to discover your
true gift then you are wrong;
to live life waiting for bad news
is no way to live; to see that
others live the same way is
to know that you are not alone;
there is someone out there
for you but if you keep your
heart to yourself then he
will walk past you like a
stranger on the corner; no
matter how creative you are
someone can do it better; if
your ego exceeds your
capabilities then you will
live a life of delusion; the
best way to become empathetic
is to become obsessed with
describing the feelings of
others; a true artist is always
waiting for the next creation
no matter how great the last
one was; the impatience of
the imagination is unleashed
once you recognize that it
exists; there's always one
more love in your life but you
have to give them the chance
you swore you would never do
again; the day you decide to
justify yourself instead of
challenging your beliefs is
the day you stop learning;
there are three ways to change,
a painful mistake, hearing the
truth from your best friend or
comparing yourself to somone
great but without the desire
to change you will remain as
you were when the truth tells
you that time is no longer its
concern; whatever is lodged
in your mind causes disbelief
in something, but have you
built the wall in the right place?

I freed
A sea urchin
Lurching
Over my *******
In aversion
To my excursion
From the hurting
Sleep
Unearthing
The trees
Of a life
Dangling
From the branches
Shaking
With the cannons
Blasting
In the distance
Of my resistance
To the betterment
Of my belligerence
Toward the kids
To unnerve them
From the bliss
Of ignorance
Into servants
Of science
Deferring
The gods
To appliances
And silencing
The violent
Tendencies
Of stupidity
Into ridiculously
Clever things
That inspire
Laughing
All while
Mapping out
The world
Anew

It's all  conspiracy
Idle hands are the Devil's playthings
I told you so
Remove the feeding tube
But not during the gestation period
By after the gastric bypass
And right before the insemination
Put the fault on the horse voiced gentry
And the perpendicular denominations
What's it to you?
You estranged neo-native
Counterfeit piety and disobedient estranged friends unnerve you
You act so factious
Deliberately making everything a joke
Ponder the trajectory of my fist to your glass jaw
And the brass knuckles to your abdomen
You'll want to get an iron lung when we're through
Maybe a respirator and a catheter
Now, go count your toenail clippings as the idle minds cast their votes for this referendum

       -Tommy Johnson

In tired atlases the doorman in pressed uniform
Outstretches his left hand to the ladies right
The rich waver in snare drum vibration as the
Will seekers unnerve the puppy parade behind door #42

And when with you, I wish to be away
And when far, I only wonder where you are
Peddling rose craning over dusty text books
See the light of the sun across the prodigal meadow

Around the peso saloon under a half smiling moon
Every man you pass can't help but whistle to salute you
There's no reason to fight
And there's no reason to whine
With you and this moon, there will never be enough time

We are the fortunate young running wild half interested
Ignorant and wanting the next death, ******, war
Laugh tract addicts and screen dragging junkies
Pushing social standings to the edge of digital ego insanity

When the sick die, they are released to the Earth
When they ****** die, they are released to their past
When the blessed die, they are released into eternity
When the rest die, they are released onto the back pages of newspapers

I look out through these eyes I have
Seeing the world through a perception tainted, beaten, and enriched
To seek change, is only natural, but in the end, futile
Escaping myself would be my ultimate creation

Thank you--
For looking me in the eye--really
Seeing me.
Thank you for always making
me Laugh
Because laughter is underrated.

The thought of you fuels my
day and and saddens my nights.
Saddens because I can't
For the Life of me
Carry a conversation well anymore

I love your eyes.
And it's cliche, I know, but
You used to unnerve me with them
Your blue stare
You jolted me from a world
Where eyes are for makeup and tears
Now for this connection.

Thank you for carrying a conversation
with me.
I feel safe around you enough to
spill
practically
my entire life
You listen and respond
intelligently, nonetheless.

We teach each other things, but
what I want, more than anything
is to teach you all the things I
love about you.

Mostly I love that you make it better
I love that we trust ourselves with feeling
I love that you are different.
I love that you know how to make
things work

Make me work, Jack.
Make us.

Mind of gold,
teach me how to be numb, how to not feel the cold,
teach me how to be strong, to be brave, to be bold
teach me how to walk, a path , of a story untold
heart of silver,
let my pulse strike and unnerve them, like the hiss of an adder
let my tongue be precise, like the aim of an archer
let my eyes see through deceit, let them be crystal, let them be clearer
Soul of fire,
Let my heart love freely, let it aspire, hope let it acquire
Let my mind be calm, as the bombs drop, and we hear gunfire
Let my voice bring hope, let it sing loud like a choir
Because the situation is dire…

Did you forget me, my dear?
I know I've always been a backup plan
I know I'll always be there
When your world fails to turn.
You take me for granted
And of this, I am aware
So why does it unnerve me
Or bring me surprise when we stop talking
For days, weeks, months at a time
We don't interfere in each other's lives.
Then one day, one random day
We drip, drip, drop everything for each other
Did you forget about me, my dear?
This was bound to happen
It's less about forgetting
And more about selectively
Choosing not to remember.

Separation Anxiety.
To court this phenom, we must first observe
Its grandiose stature, to which we will unnerve
For as permanent as the night sky may be,
Only its constellated decorations do we see.
And each single time we interrupt the night,
We initiate stellar parallax, and to our sight,
We see the shift of our feeling strangle
And find the cords of our heart untangle
To twists and and turns in heaven’s shrine
And a comet shall fall in my hands
Its all mine.

Loved you whole fiercely
With every sinew and particle
Of my punctured soul.

Lived, existed and thrived
On the hope of you and I
Being united.

Inseparable
A love with so much verve it
Tends to unnerve us.

You chose to softly
**** me with indifference
An absent presence.

Find that which gives you peace...
hold it in your reserve.....
find it to give you strength
when all seems to unnerve.
With out the peace that calms the soul..
the weight of the world seems a unbearable load.
Call upon the reserve you have , tucked away...
let peace come to you, the storm at bay.
We create our own Hell sometimes it seems...
yet healing can come with a little peace.

A restless breath
Asthmatic transmission
I’ve resurrected my demons
Display, parade, spectacle
Alliances are forming
I’m forcing these words
Finger in throat
Erupt and unnerve
Deserved preferred pathways
And driveways to stumble around
No commas found, only
Broken sentences
In disheveled paragraphs
I laughed with you
I lied.
Fingers crossed, holding my breath
A child in a burning nest
I am not above,
                  or below
I rest my head on sticks and stones
I’ve made no peace with this arrangement
Noose bound tight
Blade sharpened stroking the skin
It runs in circles
It tells tall tales
It shows the truth
My voice wouldn’t confess
These mirrors haunt my shaded arrival
The witness screams
In fragments scattering the bathroom floor
Reflection is no place to hide.
I see those dark eclipses, brown and excessive
Slicing each piece thinner and thinner
What is left; a broken mess
If I could breathe, I’d clean that too.
Along with the dust that's collecting
On your fingertips.

A person with a virtuous soul, whose faultless heart is unchained

from any  corrupt musings  of  excessive pride: one whose soundless

years in safe triumph are lived, whom aims cannot deceive, nor

misery unnerve: that virtuous  soul needs not a shield of steel to

defend, nor keep secret thoughts within. They do not merely stare

thru tearful eyes at the tragedy of this our world's thirst, but rather

they no less than dare to provide what is necessary to end it.

we always put our most impressive warrior to the front
to try and unnerve our enemies with size and stature
not much has changed, nukes are paraded for all the world to see
all along the streets of cities lined with a cheering populace.

She is the most beautiful
when she walks away
something about the stride
penetrated a nerve or unnerve
that bit that you now know as
loss

"He's a nice boy try not to get bored too easily."
You always praise me when I do well when we watch television quiz shows
And you turn around when I am getting undressed; which is ironic as it is not like my body is something that you haven't seen before.
You are a gentleman.
You don't care about negative things people have to say.
Almost feminine in your ways or maybe this society just effeminates the positive qualities that men possess.
I thumb your face it feels smooth, your eyes are small and dark but they feel so honest
Is it Wednesday or Thursday?
Time doesn't exist around you, nothing else really matters around you.
Your almost sociopathic calmness doesn't unnerve me
Getting your life together, from a boy to a man.
Making me feel like I am part of this transition radiates the attraction I feel.
I trust you not to pry through my belongings.
This probably isn't love but what I do feel is new and it is strong.
Thank you for cooking for me and
Thank you for showing me respect
It is all so refreshing, like a cold shower after you've been trapped in the heat all day
I had been trapped in the heat too long

I am so glad that I have you now

these are not my hands, they are my bow and arrows
they are my weapons, my self-defense, my fortified walls
they flex and bend and push and cradle and create and destroy
i find in them the source of my power
they're the brave ones, tracing down my thoughts when my lips are too cautious to speak
they're the proud ones, delicately vain as they sketch the skeletons of beauty onto dusty piano keys
when i am empty and numb they stir a spoon in a cup of tea and wait for me to feel something
when i am shaking with a great and terrible anger they clench and unclench and clench and unclench and clench and unclench and heal
my hands are my heroes
and they are my villains
i control the volume in my palms because sometimes it gets loud and because sometimes my heartache is deafening and because sometimes i need to drown in the thumping, the crashing, the assault of my fingers on the unassuming ivory
and because sometimes i wallow in my self pity and because sometimes it feels good to be surrounded by the quiet sound of my tears on my cheeks
from my fingertips to my wrist i am a goddess, all slender bone and delicate veins snaking under taut, soft skin
i feel capable and lovable and just able, just pure, when i crack my knuckles before returning to my writing
it is easy to forget that aphrodite could cause catastrophe too, that her face (my hands) were more than just pretty and decorative
i remember each hit
each poke
each grasp
each clench
each stretch
each caress
each punch
and i love them like my children
the pain i've brought, from my right hand to my left forearm and from my left hand to someone else's right cheek and everything in between, it is with me always like the scars i've left and i could hate myself
so easily
but in the aftermath of my earthquake, i love my power
comfort is knowing that i'm a straight shot
that my bow and arrows can execute what odysseus did
comfort is knowing that i'm a *****
that i unnerve those that deserve it and dethrone the prideful queen
so i sleep peacefully even when i don't sleep