I've been preparing for this my entire life
This particular unluckiness in love that seems unavoidable
It's been in fairytales I've heard as a kid
in the books I've read
in songs on the radio
in poems
in everyone

But no one ever told me that I would be the villain
Never once did I relate to the bad guy
But here I am
and I'm the bad guy

And every time the villain is explained
it is said that she is good in her way
That she never choose to become the villain
But I had the choice
I've been good my entire life but today I decided to be bad
Tonight I killed the princess and took the prince for myself

There's no poison, only me
Me being forced down innocent throats
until they bleed their secrets to me

To me

Motions croak in crimped t-shirts
Peace hurts the leg of 3 wheelers
Spit in a book, carefully holding hands over healers
Frosted articulation of bricks hitting off buildings
The doctor resumes surgery on the filming
Actress gummy mouthed backpacker sharing rooms with a jet-lagger galvanizing goo
If I phone myself, I’ll phone you too
Ad-hoc hop around dentures holding saxophones, laziness is the common king around here
Match the sketch with the deliriant fear free freedom and sneer
Shut the promo drunk and dolo
Potions of pogos bouncing so low
Both bones focal, keeping in a smile from an eye perched over the edge spitting on the populous
Attacking formulas with cruel gruel from the oesophagus
Wilting oxalis wooded in obelisks
Mortal coil in amphetamine greed for the sleep
Positioned slightly awkward and barely out of reach
Been seen being dreams piercing holes in the purple of the seeds
Peace is deemed green, free me from the iron between the sheets
Coins flipped in a river and an etude rings out with a profound sense of urgency
Won't wake up faces blindly painted deranged by a 5 sided box that gave fame to what was contained
Warp the wattage, walk in nervous
Hold cosmic stardust in one hand
Another a phone to call the best man
To marry the two hands and I’m sure the priest will understand
Hairs on the ceiling float through the window and provide an outspoken account of how they are feeling
Canisters of friendship huffed in the backs of vans till passing point seizures explain themselves
9mm film reel candy bars and ring modulation skeletal structure cat gut harps
Never finish a walk to work without beginning the start
Trolleys of Dolly Parton facelifts
Knife cutter butterfly anaesthesia makeshift
Hollow bellies of pardoned mop heads becoming a commodity
I can't say sorry if I begin to speak so oddly
I’d say probably yes if you lit a fire beyond the fence where the old man gambles drop-***** with 50 pence
Bite down on copper, synchronise the action
Winter comes and goes like conversation going out of fashion
Morbid, terra-fin switches waterbeds
Hints home at spit-roasting ostrich heads
Cost and effect, cause and intellect
The castle puts his foot down only to find a horses neck
Zipped up in honey, the combs hive mind should reconsider its self lucky
Unorthodox autodidact naturally diffracting compound eye composes paranoia and lies
The patronage of the savant is murderous and contrived
Its better out than in
The constant metaphor for unluckiness
Is where we begin
Radiance in a hot water semi permeable membrane crescent
Strokes the backs of frogs in the desert, stars iridescent and sun bears a weapon
Hammocks, ****, sweat on the brow, split lips on cornerstones of the solstice in the dead of now
Space-age ape on the country road lets out a cough
Caution to the hissing hills ****** in hidden zygotic havens
Actors have no time to cut themselves shaving
Austro-Bavarian chemical burns Molotov cocktail sewers
Crayons let me draw this face on, paint the day on and on, it gets newer
Its the context at which you and I notice the separation, that cues canned humour

trying not to **** myself
like happy thoughts
and bad timing
life lessons on
the duality of
enlightenment
caught in the karmic
cycle
the good and bad of
me struggling
for dominance
self-proclaimed
altruism
and general unluckiness
frozen time like
longing for it all back
20 years and i've
all done is
master the art of
falling in love
and ******* up

Who taught you to love like folded pages?
You hid them away because you do not need self validation.
Why are you still writing apologies in the form of poems?
Indeed, you are too full for their palms to hold.

Why do you keep blaming other things for your unluckiness?
Things bigger and better than what you're becoming to be.
Things have better things to do,
Instead of focusing on your slander,
That isn't as bitter.

Why do you keep doing it even when you don't like it?
Stop putting on a brave face.
Though they say fake it till you make it.
Life will probably end on it's own,
But your hopeless romantic mind is braided with dreams of the unknowns of 'someones' and 'somedays'.

You whine about the creative blockage that prevents you from creating,
Every now and then.
Why can't you just pick up a pen and jot something down to make you feel less even?
Stop eating your feelings alive.
There are food that you can eat.
And water that you can drink,
Instead of romanticising the feeling of drowning.

Your life is a big question mark,
And you are left with very little knowledge to search for an answer,
But by writing down things that you should stop doing instead of working on them,
Wouldn't get you anywhere,
Either.

Sprained my neck,
the second he twisted my heart,
I froze in that moment,
while i recalled his words.

Of course, the space seems better when filled with a couple or Lovers,
But the heart seems better just by itself.

How can emotions, touch and kisses,
make someone excited, happy or even possessive.

Of course, I am better off being alone,
I don't want a second person to know how I feel deep within.

I don't want to depend on you,
my pool of emotions, is full of emptiness and anxiety,
the sudden downfall of my heart's graph reflects my unluckiness in meeting someone again,
but well, I 'm glad my life is coming back to my old static life.
No emotions, no love, no happiness ,no curse.
Me, people I meet sometimes, my thoughts, my ideas, my space, my life is Good,

So, Why do i ever need to add OUR / WE?

The last few days, my heart has been filled with some unknown emotions,
it felt beautiful, I never felt alone, my eyes twinkled(or so the people said)
and I wanted to become whole again.

The heavy breathing, the butterflies in my stomach, the melting feeling,
Everything performing at the same moment in my body,
i.e. The moment I see him.

We both hate talking about emotions,
we both want to break distant,
we are scared to trap each other
and we are scared to set each other free.

Life alone seems too long,
but life without a second emotion is hard to follow.

I want you in me,
stay there, longer than eternity,
don't leave me or better, never start this false reality.

Yesterday ,when people were teasing me,
I was blushing ,joyful, a teenager with rosy cheeks,
and felt myself being friendly and extremely funny.

I felt I was the queen and no one could every destroy or rule me.

Today,things seem like a mess,
everything is wrong,
people making fun of me,
me, i'm getting mad,
nothing makes sense and my body is screaming.

How, What, and Why? do all these things happen?
Better, forget about the last 4weekends,
better not look back in the past.

20...,open the doors and let me rejoice in life and the happiness of just being alive.
grateful for everything that i have lost and what i MIGHT find soon.