spread thin enough to erase the moment
univited open ended observations
temporary consequences
of a race against gravity
leave today untouched

a familiar valley of mulled secrets
under a cave-like resentment
in pursuit of imitation
we follow the blue

its most precious possession
wrapped in surrender on a sleeping shore
rain melts a naive confession
into conscious ink

the blur seems in again
and i inhale the dim stillness
its not me
but i jumped in while i could
i cant leave until the paper dances on it's own
now i watch
but only from above

An univited visitor
Her presence is ignored
But she is everywhere
We stay with her
She is visible at times
Sometimes, just felt
But everyone is touched by her
The touch of nature

My best friend doesn't have a physical body
I feel her more than my own skin sometimes.
She tends to come and go as she pleases--
It's always unpredicatble and univited
but I always feel obligated to cater to her needs
like a good hostess should to their guest

It gets old so quickly
I don't even want to get up and cook breakfast for her anymore
so we starting eating out
until its too hard to even leave the house
so she tells me that we can stay in bed and have sleepovers like the good old times
I don't remember those times

She likes to play with my hair
she's not very good at it though
it always ends up in tangles and knots that take
hours and days to brush out once she leaves
because undoing her handiwork would make her sad

I try to tell her sometimes that her being here is too much
it starts to affect my job
my life
my health

I try to get her to leave
I've been here so long she says
just a little longer she says
what would you do without me she says
I'll just move in she says

She's my best friend but--
she wont pay rent
she has never been a friend to hygiene
she doesn't know how to do laundry
or cook
or clean
she'd rather lay around all day than hold down a job

I want her to go
I want her to go
Why won't she go

learning how to drown


You were beautiful
so gentle on my eyes
they gave you my heart.
What my eyes could not see
was the power of your
storms coming univited
from azure blue sky's.
The torrents fell.
vertically without angle.
Your thunder and lightening
terrified me.
But your beauty imprisoned me.
I spent my days
soaked to the skin.
In my summer clothes.
I never did learn
how to swim.
But you taught me
how to drown.

I have not faced the hardships of life
Not starvation or the humiliation of my soul
Only the war of my idealistic love of self
What a disease could not destroy
Was stubborn pride only a candle could tame
As I became a believer in my special place
Where an angel would always remember me
Not as my lover but as my voice in God's ear
But the silence of my pride feels like surrender
And what faith in my angel once was became
The delusion that I was God's favorite son
I felt all the air in between the words I spoke
Like a lone cloud mingling with a blue sky
An univited stranger pointing at his watch
I turned to my angel but I only saw faded ink
It said time ends when you know you are alone

Follow

Follow him down
Don't breathe it in
Knock knock (let me in)
Don't let him in

His words are tainted
With poison
Don't let me drink it
Follow him down
He's knocking on my door

I'm the scared kid
Lying naked on the floor
Knock knock (let me in)
Trying to fight it all
Don't let him in

Univited.
Unneeded.

His shadows are lingering
In the cracks of my mind
Follow him down
To where his river lies

His blood fades to black
No light to shine
No light to guide the way
Knock knock (let me in)

In the doorway
His light shines so bright
He's coming in.