"unfiled" poems
such a burden to
open your heart to someone
new, to lay it out
splayed out on the table
like unfiled papers undocumented
in time or place
only case
cos slow and steady wins the
race
i’m scared
i’m scared that you will
see me as i am
all my bulges and bruises and
lines and decide that i am too much
or not enough
to fill the space between your arms
i’m scared that i won’t
have enough to say, that you
will tire of me and i’ll be stuck
in the purgatory between your mouth
and your heart
i’m scared
to love as i have loved before, butterflies
so new and strange, turn to
fire and smolder for years at a
time, grieving what should have
could have would have
been had i just been
different
you make me want to be better
you make me want to let
go of the insecurities that have dwelled
in the burning depths of my gut for
so long
and be myself
you make me forget
that i’m shy
that i’m not enough
that i’m too much
hold me close
kiss my palms
and i will hold you tighter
goodnight, handsome
Feb 13, 2014
Feb 13, 2014 at 5:01 AM UTC
Your words fall on deaf ears.
Your voice I choose not to hear.
Your breathe wreaks of stale beer.
Get away from me no one wants you here.
Away from here years ago & today.
I wish there had been a way.
To teleport or astroproject so I didn't have to stay.
Towards someone good to connect.
Of me people continue to neglect.
Evil is who I deflect.
Beauty is what I reflect.
Loneliness is what I get.
My eyes saw.
What you did broke the law.
Because of you ma kicked out Pa.
Every fiber of your being has a flaw.
Your morals are baked & your evil is raw.
Your hands are like a devil's claw.
Unfiled & unreported.
My thoughts real & undistorted.
The "mom" I disowned is disheveled
Her house pak rat hoarded.
Piles of filth & stench.
To know your face.
Ruined my past I can not replace.
Here at home of crimes there was no trace.
Police said low priority case.
Heaven has been a disgrace.
You've been banned from that place.
Mar 2, 2015
Mar 2, 2015 at 1:29 PM UTC
piles of paper over my head
cover the box I lay in,
to do not, is to cause dread,
become the administative burden,
to carry around,
but never get carried away,
trundle, then bundle cellulose
fibre in a fundle,
measuring the fundal height of...
the pregnant pause, each time I am
supposed to pick up the phone,
can't go it alone, standing up for
somebody else, who is unable
actually disabled,
"Just Like Someone Without Mental
Illness Only More So"
drawers of receipts climbing over
one another to be fed to the
shredder,
unfiled file folders, holding older
paper dreams, paper woes,
Origami folds, of the forgotten projects,
cranes, phone receivers, and say
isn't that a heart...my heart,
clumsy feet, clumsy fingers,
cluttered mind, to much paper to bind,
up and hold together, the edges of the
paper cuts, that bleed the last of the free
dreams, the nice dreams, the two week
vacations dreams, buried under reams,
of aging paper,
no point to be a paper chaser,
set the phaser on ****
and send it with the will,
or ... send in the clowns, there has to be clowns,
maybe I'll get around to it next year.
Mar 16, 2014
Mar 16, 2014 at 11:42 PM UTC