"unexcited" poems - Hello Poetry

"It was just a joke, stop being so serious." I haven't been to church since I was 14. At age 7, I was introduced to my new baptist church. I recited scriptures and played game and was always excited to go. At age 12, I was heading into middle school and won the church's bible challenge. I was queer, I was Christian, I was unexcited to go to church. It felt like everyone was staring. When I was 13, I had my first kiss with a girl, my first major girl crush, my first run in with homophobia. My classmate said **** off with someone else, my church said mothers should protect their children from homosexuality. I wondered what was wrong with that. When I was 13, I watched my mother clap to the pastor not knowing she had one. I watched the youth church pastor make fun of queer kids, not knowing he had some in the room. I watched a girl I knew was gay clap along like she wasn't one of them -one of us. When I was 13, I watched my first crush date my best friend, she didn't want anyone to know she was gay. When I was 13, I came out to my family. When I was 14, I went to church for one last time, A woman prayed the devil take this phase out of me, and put the holy spirit in. I broke down in Walmart afterwards. My mother said I never had to go back to that church again. I still have some dreams about it. When I was 15, I declared no religion, I declared no ties to anyone. I was just black & queer.

0

Jun 20, 2017

Jun 20, 2017 at 6:32 PM UTC

ayeelliottmyguy

My Thoughts on Hell

"It was just a joke, stop being so serious." I haven't been to church since I was 14. At age 7, I was introduced to my new baptist church. I recited scriptures and played game and was always excited to go. At age 12, I was heading into middle school and won the church's bible challenge. I was queer, I was Christian, I was unexcited to go to church. It felt like everyone was staring. When I was 13, I had my first kiss with a girl, my first major girl crush, my first run in with homophobia. My classmate said **** off with someone else, my church said mothers should protect their children from homosexuality. I wondered what was wrong with that. When I was 13, I watched my mother clap to the pastor not knowing she had one. I watched the youth church pastor make fun of queer kids, not knowing he had some in the room. I watched a girl I knew was gay clap along like she wasn't one of them -one of us. When I was 13, I watched my first crush date my best friend, she didn't want anyone to know she was gay. When I was 13, I came out to my family. When I was 14, I went to church for one last time, A woman prayed the devil take this phase out of me, and put the holy spirit in. I broke down in Walmart afterwards. My mother said I never had to go back to that church again. I still have some dreams about it. When I was 15, I declared no religion, I declared no ties to anyone. I was just black & queer.

35

Feels so heavy this beating stone in my chest Like an anvil strung up by a thin fraying thread In my heart, happiness feels like a regular guest It comes for a while, but always leaves me with dread. When it leaves, there is void ever so cloying This void it seems to be adamant on being empty I'd mope and seem unexcited about anything I fail to see life and all of it's beauty. Much dreaded, this feeling of overwhelming miss Oh I simply hate it when I feel this way Maybe all I want is if only I had her to kiss Wishing I'd have more of her time in a day. I can't think like this, I should not be selfish I must learn to accept she has her own worth living Deep down inside, I'm fighting my own skirmish I'd say it's alright but it seems untrue, to myself I'm lying. I guess this is the relationship between love and pain One can't just be without first inviting the other My innermost and most intimate I so have lain What I want most, isn't what I'm allowed right now, right here. I often had wished I was in another time I always have hoped I'm in a different place A time where our hearts were speaking in rhyme A place where we'd forever be face to face. It's just so hard to be a part of a cruel trick Seems unjust to be played like little game pieces The locks to happiness I'd forever try to pick For happiness is having you loving and embracing me endless.

0

Jul 29, 2014

Jul 29, 2014 at 1:32 AM UTC

ryn

Miss

Feels so heavy this beating stone in my chest Like an anvil strung up by a thin fraying thread In my heart, happiness feels like a regular guest It comes for a while, but always leaves me with dread. When it leaves, there is void ever so cloying This void it seems to be adamant on being empty I'd mope and seem unexcited about anything I fail to see life and all of it's beauty. Much dreaded, this feeling of overwhelming miss Oh I simply hate it when I feel this way Maybe all I want is if only I had her to kiss Wishing I'd have more of her time in a day. I can't think like this, I should not be selfish I must learn to accept she has her own worth living Deep down inside, I'm fighting my own skirmish I'd say it's alright but it seems untrue, to myself I'm lying. I guess this is the relationship between love and pain One can't just be without first inviting the other My innermost and most intimate I so have lain What I want most, isn't what I'm allowed right now, right here. I often had wished I was in another time I always have hoped I'm in a different place A time where our hearts were speaking in rhyme A place where we'd forever be face to face. It's just so hard to be a part of a cruel trick Seems unjust to be played like little game pieces The locks to happiness I'd forever try to pick For happiness is having you loving and embracing me endless.

28

I want to love. But who doesn't? I want the specialty, the confidential of love. I want to be with you at 4:30 pm on a Thursday, staring at your ceiling listening to the heater. I want to be unexcited, because I think love can sometimes be that challenging. I want to stare into your soul again, as I have many times before. And you utter my name softly, then drift into sleep with that satisfaction. I want unsullied thoughts. While no, not a clean slate, but purity. Snow. A hug to radiate shivers down my spine and force cheeks to blush and teeth to flutter. Mislead to Antarctica by our clutter. I want your sanctuary, the cove of your heart, tie a tent, and weave our decisions into hammocks which cradle promise and hope. And I have sipped, in consistency, to discover you exist at the bottom of bottles. And you have tarnished the coffee table. I want long drives on Sunday. To escape the complexities which plow our emotions. I want to drag you to the mall, and you roll your eyes and check the time on your cellphone every seven minutes. I want to crawl into bed at two in the morning when I get home from work, to hear your snores and fit into the mold that your body made so innate. I want *** in an alleyway with you because the mattress is worn and wine is the taste of passion. More so with you, because I cannot imagine anyone else. I want to listen to music while in love again, because it sounds completely different. I want that booming laughter back which trails you are an idiot. But so am I. I want you back because I am an idiot. I am too human. Once wrapped in arms, now tangled in this heart.

0

Jul 20, 2012

Jul 20, 2012 at 2:09 AM UTC

moris

Tangles

I want to love. But who doesn't? I want the specialty, the confidential of love. I want to be with you at 4:30 pm on a Thursday, staring at your ceiling listening to the heater. I want to be unexcited, because I think love can sometimes be that challenging. I want to stare into your soul again, as I have many times before. And you utter my name softly, then drift into sleep with that satisfaction. I want unsullied thoughts. While no, not a clean slate, but purity. Snow. A hug to radiate shivers down my spine and force cheeks to blush and teeth to flutter. Mislead to Antarctica by our clutter. I want your sanctuary, the cove of your heart, tie a tent, and weave our decisions into hammocks which cradle promise and hope. And I have sipped, in consistency, to discover you exist at the bottom of bottles. And you have tarnished the coffee table. I want long drives on Sunday. To escape the complexities which plow our emotions. I want to drag you to the mall, and you roll your eyes and check the time on your cellphone every seven minutes. I want to crawl into bed at two in the morning when I get home from work, to hear your snores and fit into the mold that your body made so innate. I want *** in an alleyway with you because the mattress is worn and wine is the taste of passion. More so with you, because I cannot imagine anyone else. I want to listen to music while in love again, because it sounds completely different. I want that booming laughter back which trails you are an idiot. But so am I. I want you back because I am an idiot. I am too human. Once wrapped in arms, now tangled in this heart.

9

I’m sorry. I’m sorry for accidentally lying when I said I wanted to be with you. I think perhaps I fall in love often – I fall hard and fast, without remorse or concern. I think perhaps I fall out of love often – I grow tired and bored, unexcited and suppressed. Unfortunately I fall in love before others and I fall out of love before others. I leap into the arms of people who aren’t ready to commit, then walk away just when they are ready to endure. I hurt people. A lot. I’m not sure when it started, but its still going on. I can think back on 3, 4, 6 people in the last few years that I have broken it off with after I promised them love. I left without warning, without hesitation. I feel bad about it because I don’t want to hurt people, I don’t want to cause pain, but I feel that letting things fester while I am unhappy in a relationship is worse. It still hurts. I still watch tears fall. I am still avoided when passing on the sidewalk. I am still badmouthed in fraternity bathrooms and in social media. I watch my best friend and lover become someone who hates me, who wants to cause me pain, who then spreads my secrets and laughs at my failures. I don’t want to hurt people anymore, so perhaps it is best that I do not date. Perhaps it is best if I never commit or kiss anyone without the careless and superficial setting of a night club dance floor. Perhaps I need to mature and wait until I can find peace and stability, where I won’t switch between adoration and frustration so quickly and suddenly. My friend might have been right when she said “I don’t think you can be in a relationship right now.” Maybe I can’t be. Even if I can, maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe I should just accept that I need to wait for life to take its course and should stop trying to capture every shining opportunity that I happen to meet in the library, the pool, a coffee shop, or the gym. Maybe I should let those opportunities go past and should wait for the ones that come when I am older. Perhaps I should wait for the golden opportunities I pass in the grocery store, at work, in line for the DMV. Is my maturity the issue? Am I subconsciously not ready to commit myself to someone? Do I have some twisted sadistic sense of humor in which I like tricking people into thinking I love them? I’m sorry. I’m sorry for accidentally lying when I said I wanted to be with you. I’m sorry for when I made up some ******** excuse about why it wasn’t going to work when the reality is that I was bored and restless. To you – M, B, L, M, A, and R. I’m sorry that I am a piece of **** I’m sorry that the devil has blue eyes. You are better off without me than you ever would have been with me.

0

Jun 10, 2016

Jun 10, 2016 at 9:51 PM UTC

nathaniel-brenner

Accidental Lies of Love

I’m sorry. I’m sorry for accidentally lying when I said I wanted to be with you. I think perhaps I fall in love often – I fall hard and fast, without remorse or concern. I think perhaps I fall out of love often – I grow tired and bored, unexcited and suppressed. Unfortunately I fall in love before others and I fall out of love before others. I leap into the arms of people who aren’t ready to commit, then walk away just when they are ready to endure. I hurt people. A lot. I’m not sure when it started, but its still going on. I can think back on 3, 4, 6 people in the last few years that I have broken it off with after I promised them love. I left without warning, without hesitation. I feel bad about it because I don’t want to hurt people, I don’t want to cause pain, but I feel that letting things fester while I am unhappy in a relationship is worse. It still hurts. I still watch tears fall. I am still avoided when passing on the sidewalk. I am still badmouthed in fraternity bathrooms and in social media. I watch my best friend and lover become someone who hates me, who wants to cause me pain, who then spreads my secrets and laughs at my failures. I don’t want to hurt people anymore, so perhaps it is best that I do not date. Perhaps it is best if I never commit or kiss anyone without the careless and superficial setting of a night club dance floor. Perhaps I need to mature and wait until I can find peace and stability, where I won’t switch between adoration and frustration so quickly and suddenly. My friend might have been right when she said “I don’t think you can be in a relationship right now.” Maybe I can’t be. Even if I can, maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe I should just accept that I need to wait for life to take its course and should stop trying to capture every shining opportunity that I happen to meet in the library, the pool, a coffee shop, or the gym. Maybe I should let those opportunities go past and should wait for the ones that come when I am older. Perhaps I should wait for the golden opportunities I pass in the grocery store, at work, in line for the DMV. Is my maturity the issue? Am I subconsciously not ready to commit myself to someone? Do I have some twisted sadistic sense of humor in which I like tricking people into thinking I love them? I’m sorry. I’m sorry for accidentally lying when I said I wanted to be with you. I’m sorry for when I made up some ******** excuse about why it wasn’t going to work when the reality is that I was bored and restless. To you – M, B, L, M, A, and R. I’m sorry that I am a piece of **** I’m sorry that the devil has blue eyes. You are better off without me than you ever would have been with me.

15

You’ll sit around with your girls Drinking cheap wine You never open the blinds Leave the light out What you think doesn’t move me I’ve almost starved trying to feed myself on you I hope you call me crazy and laugh at my words I burn bridges to create I can’t get inside of you without tension Without some form of heartbreak Imagined or created by fire If we had stayed clean, unstained Unmoved, unexcited I would have stayed that lovely catatonic color. I filled myself to excess on your beauty Your cool-head lack of insanity The way you clung to my neck Pecked At my bones The quiet mornings with your body arching Your fingers in my hair I burn bridges Because they are practical and boring You meet on the bridge You don’t scream from your gut from the river bank I can’t say I haven’t tasted sweetness Like a syrup in my filthy mouth Fruits turn gray Fingers scratch the skin after the collapse. I burn bridges because of my obsession with fire With devouring, With the passions that destroy You lay in bed scared of Death And jealousy is all I’ve got left You wake up and you go to work And your co-workers smile And you smile and you mean it, the smile. I can’t fit that anywhere.

0

Mar 27, 2011

Mar 27, 2011 at 1:36 PM UTC

freds-not-dead

Another Song with Fire and Death in it (Or An Explanation to Fit my Behavior)

You’ll sit around with your girls Drinking cheap wine You never open the blinds Leave the light out What you think doesn’t move me I’ve almost starved trying to feed myself on you I hope you call me crazy and laugh at my words I burn bridges to create I can’t get inside of you without tension Without some form of heartbreak Imagined or created by fire If we had stayed clean, unstained Unmoved, unexcited I would have stayed that lovely catatonic color. I filled myself to excess on your beauty Your cool-head lack of insanity The way you clung to my neck Pecked At my bones The quiet mornings with your body arching Your fingers in my hair I burn bridges Because they are practical and boring You meet on the bridge You don’t scream from your gut from the river bank I can’t say I haven’t tasted sweetness Like a syrup in my filthy mouth Fruits turn gray Fingers scratch the skin after the collapse. I burn bridges because of my obsession with fire With devouring, With the passions that destroy You lay in bed scared of Death And jealousy is all I’ve got left You wake up and you go to work And your co-workers smile And you smile and you mean it, the smile. I can’t fit that anywhere.

38

I wonder sometimes about the former friends Then I look at you and I don't want you to be a former friend. I never want you to get unexcited when I come. Or slowly don't text don't call no more "hey let's hangout friend". Yes I'm scared if you leave me for another friend. That's why when they chill I stay distant or over talk you to act like there funnier then you. I only write this cause you do it to me You make me feel bigger in something's but smaller in others. I sound weird but your awkward Dang if you leave that's a ******

0

Oct 16, 2014

Oct 16, 2014 at 1:02 AM UTC

Xelle

I got a weggy.

I wonder sometimes about the former friends Then I look at you and I don't want you to be a former friend. I never want you to get unexcited when I come. Or slowly don't text don't call no more "hey let's hangout friend". Yes I'm scared if you leave me for another friend. That's why when they chill I stay distant or over talk you to act like there funnier then you. I only write this cause you do it to me You make me feel bigger in something's but smaller in others. I sound weird but your awkward Dang if you leave that's a ******

10

People met for a reason either a blessing or a lesson our story began in the most unexcited way like i don't know what more to say we started from friends until we held each others hands never knew that a love so sweet would be the same reason that i wanted to stop my heartbeat does it made you feel better? to make me plead and suffer to something that we built didn't expect that the world will tilt

0

Jan 26, 2016

Jan 26, 2016 at 11:38 PM UTC

angel-aquino

heartless

People met for a reason either a blessing or a lesson our story began in the most unexcited way like i don't know what more to say we started from friends until we held each others hands never knew that a love so sweet would be the same reason that i wanted to stop my heartbeat does it made you feel better? to make me plead and suffer to something that we built didn't expect that the world will tilt

12