It cripples me - your grip uneased, your unintentional mental squeeze.
Distilling me. Entrails set free.
Half in your hand, half in my seat.
I'm questioning your thrilling me.
Adrenal fueled anxiety.
I'll stop myself.

Tugging against a surface
The swift whispering hallow
Shaken to rehearse this
Each breath, a swallow

Raising unto clouds above
Eyes wide, stars collide
The sky casts over dove

Shattering verses divine
Ill intentions mutant into mine
Battering bones ignites a wind inside
Still overhead appears this silent white wisp

A tender heart lay beaten uneased
May I remain doubtful to claim
The chasm in which I have seized

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

As i open the door, the living room deflates. I force myself forward. Taking a seat somewhere between my strong will and constant search of comfort. You smell like stale popcorn and feel like an uneased sympathy pat on the back. I remember the excitement which once lived here in the space next to me.  Its memory almost evaporated into a musk that barely lingers. I remember the coos and awes and sounds of admiration now air bubbles trapped beneath frozen surface. Each moment passing, an empty exchange watching gravity ****** sand from my lifes hour glass. Leaving my soul to crave affection as you snore and i absorb the television screen.
The difference of distance, inches yet worlds away

An unloved soul travels a great distance to find peace within itself
It flickers and flatters as it cries for help
This soul may not be so deserving of love
Nor a sweet chocolate dove
But it continues to travel in hopes to redeem itself of past sins



The soul sits in a crooked closed cabin
Waiting for the love to come in
Though it is the soul that needs to come out of its miserable shell
Until then it will always remain in a emotional hell
Unable to repel the hate that dwells
As its feelings swell
Its mind becomes unwell
It has lost any indication
whether or not it's on the right trail


Until a loved soul feeling well comes upon its trail
It opens up the closed cabin as it hears the cries for help
It comes upon a soul very deserving of love and gave it a hug
It traveled a great distance to give peace to the uneased
In hopes to cure it
In which it would succeed
An unloved soul traveled a great distance and found an undeniable hope
And at last it can finally breathe

He spoke to me in words
told me to promise
to cross pinkies
to tell all his loved ones
that he loves them so,
and hes sorry
sorry to have to let go so easy
with an uneased mind

he held me
and he told me he loved me
told me to keep going on and
missing him will be temporary

we sat on the train tracks
waiting
waiting for the better end to come
together we wanted to leave
him and i
so we went.

In the grey fogs of the cities -
Like mushrooms in the moist,
There grow beggars in the corners,
"Just a penny, sir!" - voiced.


You may find them in any genre;
Old men next to a jar,
Sad blokes without roof nor goods,
Lads playing a guitar.


All they want is only a coin-
Giving them needs morals;
Only God knows, you may be there,
Begging with them for alms.


                       ---


Every time, I bypass by one,
My throat knots in a ball;
I feel an urge to seek coppers,
Always giving them all.


However, once it happened that-
I ran out of changes,
When an old gypsy woman was
Looking for my wages.


She blocked the entry of the shop:
"A coin, may God bless you!";
I excused: Now, I'm short of posh
While trying to get through.


                       ---


She grabbed my arm and hugged my waist:
"My dear, my kids need food!"
Get out of my way, you witch! - thought,
"Witch?! You'll pay for b'ing rude!"


I was shocked: What, she read my mind?!
She spat between my eyes,
Hugged me harder than a python-
While murmuring weird rhymes.


"Pale face - hard heart, now you will pay,
Pale heart - hard face, you'll own!"
I fear'd if there were watching crowds,
But none, I've seen none, none.


                       ---


The witch's gone as if never been,
Leaving my eyes in pain;
Taking my sight away, to say:
Oh my God! Am I sane?!


No doctor could cure my blindness:
"Nah, you must pretend it."
Then, a charlatan informed me:
"You're cursed, I'm sure of it".


Knowing being cursed let me sick;
"You'll need her to be cleansed",
But how to find her in Paris?
Been blinded and uneased.


                       ---


I digged through the darkest quarters,
Meeting gypsy kings and hags;
Though, they were all laughing at me:
"A witch-beldam who begs?!"


My dispair led me to the shop:
Maybe, I'll find her here;
Time has strained my face and my heart,
Begging there year to year.


"All I want is only a coin-
Giving me needs morals;
Only God knows, you may be here,
Begging with me for alms."

It’s like wanting a home
Somewhere to call my own
But knowing it won’t happen
The bridges are burned

It’s feeling lucky
To have shelter
But knowing it’s not
Gonna last forever

It’s feeling uneased
When counting the months
Thinking I am too lucky
When will my luck turn

It’s seeing your goals
They are so near
God let me reach them
Before they are gone

It’s being compassionate
Wanting to help others
Knowing how desperation
Can be so unkind

It’s feeling alone
Yet forcing a smile  
Because sadness is constant
Learning to mask it

The iridescent silence
resides in every hole
Every nook, every branch, every absence
aware that it should know

That the silence should seek the silence
and dampen living sound
Exert its out numbering presence
and flush disturbance out

This is how the woods exist
in the mercury morning night
It is the one time of the day
when sound loses the fight

Everything moving is alien
a probe disturbing time
Everything uneased by nothing
an irrationally influenced mime

Then "until" is the gospel of life
until strings ignite the sound
When those fallen silent resume their strife
and until their movements resound

But under the velveteen mirror
under the soft grip of ice
Air becomes solid and trees shadow white
in the mercury morning night

Straggler wondering a barren sea frothing at the seams,
Chatter coming from beneath the ice, hearing distant screams,

Burning freeze upon his bare feet,
Icy feeling like concrete,
Yearning for warmth as he is uneased,
No escape from frozen sheets.

He was just in paradise back and forth twice,
Closed from the mind he is now lost in time,
Intertwining thoughts just won't stop,
His propose in frost is capsulated and lost.

Once a visionary leader and naturally loves healer,
Far from the beach listening to those who screech he's now a fellow bleeder,
Lowered by others demeanor who assimilate as deaths cleaver.

The air is heavy with a deathly starry medley,
making him a shallow breather choked by the reaper,
But being a believer from ghosts past into the darkness,
perpetuates a dreadful fever upon his worn carcass.

Frozen lost slipping on froth,
His monks cloth now colored to goth,
His soul is crossed which will never defrost,
Melting ambitions are glossed by the frost.

Wondering lost and abused he is misused, his decaying flickering spirit Bemused,
Never to regain a path forward he's consumed,
Walking backwards in life his path never concludes.

Hello! how's do, I haven't seen you at the park in a while

Oh hi! oh I stopped coming here

Why is that

Have you noticed the dog **** all over the lovely lawn
some seem to just come here to **** all over the place

Yeah, I noticed, but I now just walk around the perimeters of the park
I don't bother going in, better to leave the ******* to their ****

she flashed a broad grin across a pleasant attractive face

That's just like me and social media these days
I do post my bits when I have to but I don't read what the crazies,
the  moaners, the professional complainers and the senseless have-a-go's with nothing better to do, have to say

Now, that's wise

We both laughed raucously, kissed and walked away still smiling

Overhead the grey autumnal sky hung laden, a bit like the laden uneased minds of the harbingers of doom

I see blue sky and inhale the fresh vibrant winds
mindfulness.....

Your presence comes hand in hand with this pressure,
I cannot phathom the words to say or the expressions to place.
I feel this inescapable uneased.
This inenscapable thudding of my brain as it tries to figure out how best it can open a fragment of my heart to project onto a floor for another to
Mishear
Misinterpret
Misread
Or simply ignore.

It is a war of constant.
It is a run for miles.
It is a search for what doesn't want to be found in that moment.

While walking through the front doors to our future in our castle, a presence stalking gave a fever to my bones to dismantle, we have our dreams coming true but in the shape of blue, ignoring the past to prevent the future I'm in the present ignoring the coming relapse, danger to ghosts consuming all of us was ever so immanent.

Plans were in place while invisible traps encased every moment forward to go backwards, the children ran forever back and forth as smiles hurt while tears of joy streamed to cure the disease, everything was perfect, we were pleased, nothing was in conflict, but she was uneased, this was hidden by reset to conceal under the guise of affection, she was only getting more precipitant.

Starting the reshape of our castle in our own image we played God, we had the power to contribute to our happiness infinitely and so we chose to increase our family, the past was concrete, buried within the rubble was the trauma as rebar, slowly falling apart the past exposed crumbles of insolence.

The probabilities to what's forward shunned in darkness by impossibilities to my beliefs, she's laying claymores triggered by remote, I'm kissing her as I'm choked by her ghost, breathing hard I'm pushing forward, the children without their only protection left behind as dad labors for her collection, every day I leave she's becoming less of the families participant.

Unfinished castle to be our greatest hassle, my importing depression as the kids regression projected upon us by her evil acts of defilement.

Unearthing the kids emotions and my unnerving focus upon her caused my reactions, knowing that if she persisted with those buttons, cynical desires would be validated as she downsized me to a filament.

The traps armed and triangulations in place, she was soon to evict and evil to consume this space, children caught in between heaven and hell rang the bells, I know but never knew she'd consume, the price, our blooms, renewed illicit intimacy to consume all of me failed, I was now diligent to protect the innocent.

Being in war would be easy, covering the innocent fragile eyes from the exorcist was my only mission, my back is regaining holes from her knife, the conduction of her liabilities of illicit secrecy is no longer unknown, the knife is now condesating as she's claiming by blaming, injured and losing hair I hug the children to cleanse the ghosts, they can't see me and the slime of abandonment covers them head to toe, the past and present is now equivalent.

Caught in time with wounds covered in lime, the kids mute while I choose, falling to my knees screaming please, she's gone and had been all along, always called her my wife and now she raises her knife, stumbling back shocked I scurry the flock,  a clone to her old self a simulant, she's no longer here, she's high on the devil's simulant.

I'm away with the children but my ghost left my shell, it's left behind to distract her within the self induced hell, everything's terribly wrong as I'm Hoodwinked with Agony, smear campaigning against her ghost of a husband everyone knows the truth, her lies stretched so far it was visibly obtuse, was never something new, forced to carry on I'm wondering lost, I'm now Ambivalent with Agony.