"unease" poems
.
A cloud falls from the sky,
a lead balloon of precipitation,
and cuddles the ground
like a long lost lover.
Dripping its cargo,
shedding tears along the way,
leaving a trail of damp memory
and a calm balm
for the Earth.
*And a candle flickers
on a lonely table,
as a pen drifts across lines,
filling meaningless words
that never
convey the depths of separation.
The flame flares
as a waft, a draft,
creeps in a crack under the door,
adding a poignant touch
to the melancholy of atmosphere.
Gripping the pen with delicate unease,
the hubbub drowns inwards,
doubt rises in ascendancy,
the pen falls,
like a discarded relationship,
and the meaningless words
stop.*
© Pagan Paul (21/11/18)
Nov 21, 2018
Nov 21, 2018 at 5:35 PM UTC
every other month,
i fly.
when my mind fills with worries and unease,
my lungs expand with fear not air,
my heart speeds,
and with a single backpack
i take a bus to the airport.
long ride listening to my comfort songs
is just a beginning to my little getaway.
(i already feel calm writing about this moment)
quick 30 mins wait at the gate, then
i fly.
my reality you can wait for me at the airport
right where i left you,
because you deserve a break too.
see you in 5 days.
i'll meet you back at the airport.
Sep 29, 2019
Sep 29, 2019 at 1:19 PM UTC
in the waves
of your gaze
my ship
bursts into
dreams
as my mouth
watering for yours
fills me with
unease
endlessly
longing
to permeate
on your reverie
steam
to dim
the lights
of your sirenic
breeze
to undress
the complexity
of your mind
scheme
i solemnly live
to hear your name
that even the silences
scream
Mar 13, 2018
Mar 13, 2018 at 11:26 AM UTC
I am the blackbird sitting
on the branch . . . watching you
Peering into every aspect you do
Kaw . . . Kaw
and you . . ,
Late at night if I ever get out of here
I swear I will turn into a thunderstorm
And hurl my bolts of light at you
And pound you with my thunder
I am the blackbird . . . and I am still
watching you
Can you feel the unease of my stare
Kaw . . . Kaw . . .
now you are aware
He held a grudge forever more
Never could he release the hate and pain
Nothing nice again , just rain
He could never get out again
The blackbird and me . . . .
as the feathers flutter to the ground
Went both of us . . . around and around
Dagers drawn , guns blazing
Like I said it is late of night
Cursing and swearing my heart pounds
Mark on my bolts , holding thunder
I notch another line on the barrel of life
Blackbird ! Blackbird ! Blackbird be !
I am the blackbird sitting in your tree
Peering into the aspects that you might be
Kaw . . . Kaw . . .
Nov 4, 2014
Nov 4, 2014 at 7:25 PM UTC
I dreamed I was at work
And everyone was naked but me.
A bunch of naked co-workers
As far as my eyes could see.
They were pointing at me laughing
The moment I walked through the door.
They behaved as they didn’t
Know was clothing was for.
Pointed at my chest area
Right were my ******* would be
And at my crotch as well
And asked me “How do you ***
All of that material there.
It really must get in your way.
So, what’s the big idea
Why did you come to work that way?”
I mumbled and I stumbled
And bumbled my way to reply.
I told them I really didn’t quite
Understand all of why
They were all naked here, and
I was wearing a lot of clothes.
I finally told them all that
Sometimes this is how it goes.
They started laughing again
And one girl tried to make amends.
She said the pants I had on
Gave me a very cute rear end.
My face turned red, I said thanks.
And some said I was blushing.
I headed back to my desk, trying
Not to look like I was rushing.
I woke up still kind of giggling
And yet had a feeling of unease.
I remembered the embarrassment
Feeling being dressed was a disease.
Usually it’s the reverse, of course.
I am the one walking around bare.
But something in this dream that night
Helped me see some of the meaning there.
Dec 12, 2015
Dec 12, 2015 at 5:45 AM UTC
A Strong sense of unease fills my mind and soul
my body trembles is it fear or the cold night
looking around at seemingly quiet streets
what waits in this darkness that engulfs me
once feeling safe and secure now I want to flee
evil exists all about in the form of human beings
cruel calculating driven by what often a mystery
few cause so much misery and horror in society
overpowering subtle in their persuasive false way
most want to live peacefully keeping evil at bay
do you not feel it to that unseen lingering unease
always there ready to attack like a viral disease!
The Foureyed Poet.
Jul 27, 2014
Jul 27, 2014 at 3:29 PM UTC
dysphoria can be defined as a general unease or dissatisfaction, a discontent
but dysphoria
feels more like a disconnect
my heartbeat feels more like a defect
when it throbs against my shrinking ribcage I can feel that it's making a dent
dysphoria
comes from a greek root meaning "hard to bear"
it is hard to bear
**** it's hard to breathe
literally
physically
I cannot breathe
I cannot be free
dysphoria is when you have to close your eyes while you shower so you can't see
each breath shakes as it comes out of me
there is medical material clung so tightly to my body
it has become an extension of me
and nothing on me belongs to me
I am trapped beneath waves of what I can't stand to be
my body of water
feels more like an anchor
I am drowning
and you can tug at my spine but you cannot feel me
I cannot even feel me
I would do anything to make these ends meet
dysphoria grabs hastily
a current does not care your worth, it just pulls you under
dysphoria does not care if you deserve better
dysphoria is a disconnect
and I haven't found directions
to the end
Jul 26, 2015
Jul 26, 2015 at 8:00 PM UTC
Loons in the vineyard – sound the alarm !
Satan is milking his metaphors.
Such silly music portends no harm;
call home the cows and open your doors.
Brian Hugh Warner, a paleface freak
after finding his mom’s mascara
darker enlightenment did seek
and crowned himself with Baal’s tiara.
Scary drag-queen, scandalous, vain
Marilyn – the creepy thespian
rolled that fish-eye and snorted *******
like Crowley… how pedestrian.
Flashing his glowing cataract,
he gave the mommies quite a fright.
Censorship launched; no badder act
did sail (or assail) our sinking night.
Gothic dim-wits purchased CD’s
bought the goods, pierced parts, wore black.
(Cause for certain parents’ unease:
MTV’s Antichrist on the attack).
Son of Man – or rather, Manson
Milked to the max his demonic cow;
playing Satan’s naughty grandson
showing the flustered milk-maids how.
Urban legend surrounds this fowl
(those ribs removed – like Adam’s sin!)
Is he a misunderstood night owl –
or a has-been loon in a loony bin?
Rock-stars age (well, most) like a cheap wine.
or else in the way once-ripened grapes
withering, sun-struck, off the vine
transform, with age, into wizened shapes.
No – I am wrong. They age like prunes;
plums thus pass into their glory.
Even Luciferian loons
find lakes of fire at end of story.
Sep 10, 2015
Sep 10, 2015 at 9:23 PM UTC
Squalid off-white cube
fluorescent buzzing hue
water stained tiles
tribulation from digital files
dilapidated symbiote
invisible hungry parasite
optimism capsized in the abyss
tedium tongue french kiss
five hours a month
forest bathing in the sun
a cure they say
nature is a gateway
shambling down trails
languid gait sails
fractal patterns surround
tweets in background
head starts to clear
wondrous frontier
five hours a month
soaking in the sun
not enough time
to melt away grime
five hours a week
leaves a happier physique
summer sea breeze
rolling over unease
basking in the heat
leaving is so so bittersweet
return to human farm
pray for fire alarm
nature is a gateway
natures my getaway
Sep 20, 2018
Sep 20, 2018 at 8:52 AM UTC
You look better
When you're smiling
Doors of ivory hide unease
Your smile looks better
When your spiraling
Down down chutes of self appease
And I look better
When you're defiling
All the things that live to please.
Sep 3, 2011
Sep 3, 2011 at 1:11 PM UTC
I do not wish to end my speech with a dot or a coma,
I only wish for my speech to be heard loud and clear.
I may not be able to wish for a second chance for my speech,
And still, I will hold on until the bruises are gone,
And tears are no more.
He, who wished for his words to be heard,
She, who came to his life like an angel in the sky,
They became one like day and night as a whole.
No Life, No Worries!
No to Life, yet you are still fighting.
No to Worries, yet you are unease.
You are the hero in your own story,
You are loved in every pain
I will find the answer
For my ineffable life,
I will surpass the wall
To see the beauty on the other side
My speech is about to end,
How I wish for it not to end.
But that is life in every angle,
You just have to see through it.
Aug 10, 2020
Aug 10, 2020 at 2:10 AM UTC
And sad she's been.
and drinking in the new year has everything seemed like it would fit into place... but fit in it does not, a square hole fitting a sphere shaped piece...
attempting the new does the old fit in better than anything, and happy nowhere does she fit in, and drink does she more...
but the more she sips the poison, does the toxin fill her lungs and more often than not does the feeling of unease take over her body... and simply the many that call her amazing really mean terrible...
but know little that they mean terrible, and the few that read terrible, know simply the tears that fall are more simple and complete than anything felt before, and every feeling felt before is unknown and foreign to those who think they are aware, but are really oblivious.
always does the rain fall on those who ask for it, don't be sad and wish it didn't happen, because the truth that lies is what really exists and the new year brings in nothing but good hopes and wishes. maybe he should sleep.
and ask for that does she not, she wishes the truth would surface, because then would the sun break through and the light be seen by many, and make all the pieces fall into place, and everyone would read the story much more easily in the light than in the dark of her thoughts and maybe then will her soul not feel so heavy but light.
and always will she feel better if everything the alcohol keeps inside would stay inside, and the years past would not exsist and everything would fade away and the rain would it wash away everything...
and pretend all that occurred didn't, and innocent she would remain instead of everything stolen from her heart would she remain happy, instead of ruined and just another pawn in life's game of chess instead of a piece of a game that can ruin others...
and always ruin will she because she deserves death but isn't strong enough to give, because if strong enough to give would everyone serve time and deal debt instead of tears filling cups, and woes filling life, and pain filling strife... maybe then would the debt be repaid but no...
the heart still beats with unknown determinations... if the truth of it all showed would the heart truthfully give up and let the truth give in... whereas the life would be lost and no one would question it...
Oct 16, 2012
Oct 16, 2012 at 3:22 PM UTC
Sometimes we run
into the arms of a terrible person
just trying to escape a broken heart
because loneliness has been known
to taste like warm whiskey,
parliament lights and the kiss
of a lack luster lover who spent more time
trying to lie you between the covers
than they did learning to say your name
out loud, you know the type.
I'd be lying too if I didn't say
I've been that kind, that tall glass of water
promising to dampen a dry tongue
which ain't got the courage to say I'm sorry,
not to nobody else but to themselves.
So I want apologize for not seeing
or perhaps ignoring how crushed you were
when I rolled you up in my arms
the way hikers do sleeping bags
and I held you in my lap
because the car was packed
and I didn't know where else to put you.
You must have felt safe there
thinking you were the place
for me to lay my head on this road trip
we call life, but little did you know
had the trunk not been full
I would have been sitting alone
face aglow from my cellular phone
texting other women,
probably with a smile.
I am here to tell you, you deserve better
and I don't want you ever settle
for anything less than a lover's embrace
because comfort plus time
equals unease on your mind.
Worrying whether this companion of yours
has become a stone tied to your heart
with a heavy rope and its tugging you down
into the dark blue depths
filling your lungs with ice cold seawater
with every last breath.
I want you to be with someone
you can chase for the rest of your life
and when you get tired of swimming
they won't leave you treading,
chumming shark infested waters
with blood from a poorly stitched heart
but they will follow and follow
until you both find that deserted island,
that paradise you promised one another.
Jul 10, 2015
Jul 10, 2015 at 10:55 AM UTC
Writing heads, stooping down,
On desks made to conform
While water plays outside
Free, no form.
A wandering mind,
With Innocence is filled,
A question of marriage,
Drops running down the sill.
In uniforms so close,
People come and go,
Forget the magic rumble
Of the world in tow.
The need to wake up,
To sights like these,
We forget and sink,
In the streams with unease.
Jul 12, 2015
Jul 12, 2015 at 1:53 AM UTC
one drop of fruitless satisfaction
two spoonful of unease
three teaspoons of emptiness
four quarts of loose tears
a handful of frustration,
pints of jealousy
gallons of heaviness
dozens of music,
and a sea of thoughts
but a drop is enough for me to drown
My teeth hurts...
Jun 7, 2021
Jun 7, 2021 at 1:56 AM UTC
I fashioned myself a dress of black lace;
Dark and elegant, epitome of grace;
Soft on my skin, caress like a lover's,
My comfort, my design, a haven of covers.
They called it macabre - filled them with unease;
Dangerous, they said, termed it a disease.
And yes, I'm unwell, but darkness is my veil -
A reprieve from hell, solace without fail.
I am the tailor, the sculptor of shadows,
The reaper of melancholy my art sows.
And yes, it is odd, fragile, morose -
The marble thorns of an obsidian rose.
The judging whispers that follow in my wake,
Can't comprehend I do this for my sake:
The sharp edges they call jarring and cold -
They are my palace, impenetrable stronghold.
Where others see emptiness, I notice lace,
The gossamer threads of a misty embrace;
They are but blind to the kingdom of nothing,
Only see moats, and wall canons jutting.
My castle of ghosts, the court I control,
Those remain hidden, deep in my soul.
The siren song, my foggy lullaby,
The velvety clouds on which my thoughts lie.
It is morphium, made in my mind
Embroidered dullness only I can find.
The words bounce off my protective bubble,
Your bombs shatter into a gray rubble.
I blow it away, along with my fears,
I got good at this, during the years.
Give me some credit, I am no fool,
Where others would drown, I can rule;
I know not to freeze, when water's too cool,
The fire you'd burn in, I use as fuel.
Yes, it's a thin line, I know it best,
But I'm a trapeze-artist, can pass the test;
A veteran of trade, the air is my nest,
I've learned to live without getting rest.
And I know my limits, how far I can press,
Worry you not, I've survived on much less.
I'm not glass, disperse your concerns,
If need be, the lace to razor wire turns.
Sep 20, 2020
Sep 20, 2020 at 6:16 AM UTC
I still remember that day. The unsettling unease.
The drive, I still remember the feeling of the cool air against my skin.
The silence of my phone. The increased rate of my heartbeats.
Something was wrong, I felt it as if the sky itself was telling me.
The memories that follow I can never unsee, as if it was stained perfectly in my mind.
That day my heart sank into the abyss.
If only I was sooner.
Can’t help but find it comedically painful.
Aug 1, 2022
Aug 1, 2022 at 4:24 PM UTC
'A profound state of unease or dissatisfaction.'
I can understand that.
I ache.
My body twitches with the unseen tremors
of muscles that were never there.
And sometimes my fingers and skin
fool me -
wrinkles fade into existence
as my body is at once
too large and too small for
the galaxies burning within.
Apr 15, 2015
Apr 15, 2015 at 11:51 AM UTC
oh what sustains this mind
a mind that teeters
on the edge of a spiral vertigo
that sways and rocks
in an unease of palpitations
attempting to escape
from the brutal insensitivity
of the granite faces that occupy the streets
a mind of hallucinated perceptions
with a constant stream of imagery
that finds a difficulty in the self negotiation,
the articulation of its inner geography
where a frightened availability of disturbance
in the vocabulary of its chemical graffiti
leaves speech vacated on the tongue
where eyes are pushed to see
a discord of sympathies for different dimensions
that has one disassociated, cut off from the immediate
living in an inner dialogue
of rebellious and unconventional preoccupations
a self alienation that heightens
the poetic colouring of the imagination
causes a ************ of the mind
that makes me cripplingly aware
of the abyss at the heart of my inner disquiet
makes my toes hover on the jagged edge of the world
yet I jump choosing discovery over societal dictum
to do rather than be
Nov 14, 2013
Nov 14, 2013 at 9:00 PM UTC
Most people grow gardens with flowers and peas.
But I am not most people.
My garden is rather unique.
Come quickly outside if you dare take a peek.
Follow me out the door
but don't be too hasty
I will return you here looking awfully pasty.
Into the woods we go
with a feeling of unease
remind yourself you may turn 'round if you please.
You wear an expression of bravery
plastered to your face
I'll warn you that is entirely out of place.
My garden lies far, far away
The entrance: this long narrow path
Upon return I suggest a nice lukewarm bath.
We march on silently
Straight to my clearing
Where all that dwells is hardly endearing.
We arrive at gates
I push them wide open
and glance at your face, the expression most potent.
You stare out at my garden
Your weary eyes cautious
Searching for normality with obvious malice.
There is nothing of that sort to be found here.
So sorry to disappoint you, my dear.
From the unicorn pasture
to the golden archer
near the tentacle bed
and the swooping vulture
Round the corner lives my large pet dino
being lead by a petite albino
by the pond grows my crop of egg head
while nearby lies a heard of enormous sized rhino
Your gaze falls on my pink sparkly pegasus
being rode by a tiara topped princess
on a field of grass that is blood-red
bordering a lake worthy of the great greek god Isis.
As I watch your face change with shock and a pinch of delight
I see you won't put up a fight
You'll help me grow and raise my unparalleled garden
You might even defend it and be my trusty warden.
All that matters is that my garden is safe.
And to be honest, I couldn't be happier.
Jul 15, 2012
Jul 15, 2012 at 4:47 PM UTC
Train rides and trains fare
Hurling over hills and through fields
And we sit together, collectively
Calmly, reading, typing, talking
A train community
The train jumps with apology
When your legs twitch or meet
Muttering sorry, barely lifting a head
To mark a general unease
At the close space we all paid to use
Seeming so personal to share a seat
With another who finds a song to choose
Over conversation with a stranger
Shared time
We share daydreaming
Nov 20, 2018
Nov 20, 2018 at 5:30 PM UTC
In the heart of the guilt
lies a poison worst than that of a cobra
He stays speechless when accussed
Like a robe tied round his neck
The truth burns down his throat
Like a burning flame down a hole
Causing him an unease feeling
To split out the truth
Thou tries to stick to his lies
But the burning flame burns him harder
Till he let go the truth
May 4, 2017
May 4, 2017 at 5:39 AM UTC
Half way across the globe evacuate
Get moving before it’s too late
It’s the mighty winds that blow
Don’t let your escape be slow
Winds are beyond a refreshing breeze
Trees are being uprooted with the feeling of being unease
Heavy rains are pounding the coastal towns
There’s a silence of citizens in having no sound
A time to pray
Eyes up to Heaven being the relay
Winds upon blow
No it isn’t some reality show
It’s the elements against man
The strength of God bearing on the land
The Typhoon being a reminder for the world to pray
Have courage and wait out the storm
Some parts of the world this is the norm
Yet stand firm with Faith
Typhoon’s come and go
Where there is a Typhoon and rain, skies do part and sunshine is what remains.
Jun 15, 2017
Jun 15, 2017 at 9:04 AM UTC