Unbeautiful, unbeautiful
Unhandsome and unimportant
This one goes out to the losers
All the liars and the thieves
And the wannabe beauty queens

You're never going to shine
Not even for a little bit
So get off the stage
Before the booing crowds take seize
Unbeautiful, unbeautiful
This one goes out to me.

POEM FOR IMALRIGHT
Dear Imalright
I discovered your poetry and LOVED all of it. I was struck by lots of what you wrote and it inspired to write this to you. I promise you I mean every word of it.
I read your poems:
Unexceptional
Unbeautiful
Anxiety at 3AM
Two sad teenagers
Relapse
Fifteen
Starving artist
2014
Nothing special
Rough Edges & a dorky face
Under eyes
I adored them and spent the better part of a full day, hours and hours combing through the verses, dissecting the poems, analyzing the words and fully appreciating your incredible work. I picked out my very favorite phrases or yours that I found particularly powerful and moving and responded to these lines. I wanted to start a challenge. (In fact I posted this challenge as a poem, you can find it on my page).
I thought it might be nice to do like a secret santa thingy on hellopoetry only not secret and not santa… what I mean is, find a random stranger you literally have never met and do NOT know at all whose poetry you like and spend actual time genuinely reading their work, picking out your favorite lines and responding to them, pondering them, etc. Write something positive to them and post it as a poem with their name in the title. The “DEAR BLANK” challenge only you put their name instead of “blank”. I think we could all use a little recognition that we exist and are worth something since everyone seems a little depressed on here (including myself) which is fine, it’s a great outlet but it would be nice for people to just spontaneously find that a random stranger spent time in their life just to recognize you and care about your poetry. To write a kind poem/letter to them responding to lines in their poetry. I just thought that you seemed like a wonderful poet and a wonderful person based on your poetry so I chose you, Imalright. So here it is:

Your head whispers these words that crawled onto the page:

We're the kind of people that fade into the background

that people forget are in the room.

-Imalright

I won’t say something that the rest of society seems to think fixes everything. I won’t tell you the typical: you are important to everyone, you are not just a faded part of the background, people do notice you etc. because those are empty words everyone uses and they people who are always pretty in the spotlight are always the ones to say it, so what do they really know about the background, forgotten, white-noise people like us?

I will tell you, instead, I know it hurts like hell to be forgotten. For your existence to go unnoticed. I know being a part of the background is never anyone’s first choice. I am a backdrop-dweller myself. I am the unnoticed girl who blends in with the shadows. There is nothing wrong with that.
Never forget that the starry night sky is a background too. You can still be wonderful without being the center of attention. You can still be wonderful even if you are a part of the background. I want you to know, I noticed your poetry. I noticed you, and your name, and your wonderful talent and I have spent my time dissection every poem you have posted because every single one of them, is a different shade of amazing. We are all backgrounds in someways but what we choose as our phone screen backgrounds tend to be pictures of what we love the best. Pictures of beautiful things. There is nothing unbeautiful about the background. So from one forgotten soul in a room to another, I your poetry was just another account in millions like the stars but you are one of the loveliest sections of this world’s background I have ever seen. Keep that in mind. 







I just wish that I was one of those beautiful things.

-Imalright

Once again, I won’t use a society phrase like: Everyone is special and beautiful in their own ways!! Because people don’t seem to get that no matter what they say, it doesn’t even matter if it is true, but if you tell someone who thinks they are not one of those beautiful things that they are beautiful They. Do. Not. Believe. You. It just doesn’t matter, it won’t change their mind, it doesn’t help and it doesn’t fix it. It just makes them feel like you are lying to them and then they feel vain and self-conscious about admitting to you that they don’t feel beautiful etc. etc. I’ve been there so I know.
So I won’t tell you that. But I will tell you a couple facts instead.

It is a fact, that there is ugly inside of every single person.
It is also a fact, that there is beauty inside every single person.
Because beauty is NOT a definable concept. It is different to every person depending what kind of lens they look through and let me tell you, physical beauty is artificial and even though I wish I could be physically attractive in my own eyes, I have come to accept and I hope you have too or will as well, that a deeper beauty than that is inner beauty. What you keep in the cracks and crevices you made yourself in your soul. I think you are beautiful. I the pages you’ve written on soaked with ink made out of your inner self is magnificent. Your way with words and your flow of thoughts, the way you look at life through an indigo-tinted-one-way-glass-lens, it is all a whispering sort of beauty. Like the soft ringing sound of raindrops skimming the window pane on a grey sky, storm cloudy day. That same sort of delicate loveliness. I think you are a very unique and exquisite color of beautiful unlike any other poet I’ve ever seen. I don’t know you, you don’t know me, we can’t label ourselves friends since I have never spoken to you, but friends are basically socially required to tell you that you are beautiful whereas strangers are bound by no such obligation, yet still I tell you, I find you a person with a beautiful soul. I have only ever seen your poetry, but that is enough for me to know you are a beautiful person. After all, poetry is really where our souls spill what they are truly composed of. If I were to judge your beauty by your face and actions, all those are altered by circumstances beyond our control, society standards and pressure etc. What you do does not define you. Your soul does, however. You are beautiful to me. 







I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED I JUST WANTS THINGS TO BE OKAY

-Imalright
A truthful scream of the heart that many have felt. It’s funny that we all have this same base desire that tends to reveal itself more and more the later at night it gets, and yet we all still suffer the feeling of being unloved and unokay alone and silently. I wish I could reach out and fix you because the pain of others that is out of my reach always pains me more than any kind of physical agony I could ever endure. I can’t fix you though, so instead I offer you the only thing I can, I am with you. As a friend, just another soul on the earth who has felt this feeling you express in this line. I reach out with the hands of my spirit and for your spirit. Maybe if you know that I too have felt unloved and unokay you can find comfort and strength in that. Because no matter what kind of darkness you face, literal or internal, I find being united with someone empathetic to you who knows how you feel makes it just a little less scary even if it is just a sliver of hope for even just a second. It is something and the idea of “hereness’ you know, like being “here” for you, being “with” you in that emotion is all I can offer and I just want you to know, I love everyone and everything until I am given a good reason not to. So in a way, even if not on a personal level (because I do not know you, so I can’t love you on a personal level the way a sister loves a sister or a best friend loves a best friend) just generally, you are loved by me, because I love your poetry and I love all things that haven’t given me reason not to. And do you know what? Even though it hurts and it is unfair, everyone has to be unokay for a little while. I have been too. Maybe you were unokay for longer than what could possibly be near just or humane or reasonable but you were strong enough to pull through. I applaud you for this and want you to know your strength in powering through your unokayness has been recognized and admired. By me. Because the warriors are the ones up at 3AM having anxiety attacks but never let it show and you are a warrior. I am proud to call you a fellow poet.




but being sad and lonely is worse than being sad.

-Imalright
I know what you mean by this line. It is sculpted so beautifully though. The words in the phrase are just so raw and honest. Not over romanticized, just plain relatable great poetry in its true form as it should be. Wonderful. I hope you have found refuge from loneliness or will find refuge from it soon in finding someone else’s heart to call your own and in your heart belonging to someone else.





A new scar for that comment that boy said.
A new scar for that friend that betrayed you.
A new scar for every word you swallow.

-Imalright
That boy has scars of his own and he thought it would make them fade if he cause you to have scars too. ***** him. The betrayal of a friend is a special kind of pain like being stabbed with a knife you made yourself. A pain I know too well and wish no one else knew. Let the scars heal and do not swallow words. You will choke pretty soon if you don’t. Keep in mind that you are worth more than scars. I think you are worth more than scars.






You don't know how bad things are.

-Imalright
First off, I love this line. Just so simple and yet so relatable. There is some beauty to that. Sort of like thorns on a rose stem. Although they can be piercing and ugly there is magnificence that goes along with it. To be 15 and not know how bad things are, you have the rest of your life to obsess over the bad things and how awful things really are. You have the rest of your earthly existence to be broken, so like a child’s smile, at least you had that one moment in your life when things weren’t shattered as far as you knew.





With nowhere to go but everywhere
-Imalright
What an extraordinary thought. Such a liberating idea. You have really inspired me with this one single phrase. Keep in mind, you can be so inspiring to people who don’t even know you (like me) just with your words. You really make such a difference in this world. I have decided after reading this line, I’m going to try and let a little bit of that philosophy into my life. Nowhere to go but anywhere.

And that hope is going to make me stop doing this to myself.

-Imalright
Well, I really hope so too. I hoped for hope to save me for way too long. Eventually you gotta find it in yourself because this world is a little short on Hope, its main export being Despair. Just know you are not alone in this. I wish Hope was something you could wrap and mail it to someone who needs it but I can’t hand you Hope. I cannot offer it to you physically but if it helps at all, if it creates Hope for you, I want you to know that I personally, desperately from the bottom of my heart hope to God, genuinely thinking of you individually as a person that you have healed or are healing or will heal through Hope. If that helps. I have been crumbling, but somehow, after a hell of a lot of anguish, I found Hope. You can too. If it doesn’t help then I offer you my hand spiritually and metaphorically. Stay hopeful, because in this world, that is all we have.






i'm nothing special
im not beautiful
i'm not gifted

-Imalright
I know I can’t change your mind the same way no one can change mine when it comes to how self-image and esteem, but I just wanted to tell you even if you don’t believe me, in my eyes and in my opinion, not saying this to be fake or just being nice. If it weren’t true I just wouldn’t bring it up or say anything about it but you are VERY special. …okay that doesn’t sound good that sounds like the kind of special people put in quotations like: oh, she’s um… you know, “special” alright…
What I meant was, you are special because your poetry has made a difference in my life. You insightful view into life, your precious unprecedented perspective on the world and how you perceive it is very special. I have already explained why I think you are beautiful internally and keep in mind there is no such thing as one type of physical beauty. It is all about opinion and to some person or some people out there, you ARE physically perfect. To them, your physical traits are their definition of beauty because beauty doesn’t have a size, a color or a shape. That is the beautiful thing about beauty. And you are gifted at poetry, that’s for **** sure. Your poems are absolutely toxically flawless I adore them and I really, really mean that. Your writing is close to my heart. That may come across rather creepy sorry about that haha :P but you need to know that you are gifted when it comes to beautiful words.






No one will make me believe that all of my flaws aren't wonderful.

-Imalright
Such a sensational thought and resolve. I really and truly admire and acknowledge your indescribable strength I wish I could achieve to not only accept but embrace your flaws. You are such a strong person and I want to thank you for being such an inspiration to me and the rest of the world, doing that and finding that truth within yourself that flaws are wonderful things.
wondering why i had shattered myself in the process of picking up someone else's pieces

-Imalright

Okay, before I say anything else… omfg wow holy mother of waffles. (That is not a very common expression but I am so struck by the priceless incredibleness of this line I can’t think straight. Also, waffles are good.) This is amazing… how do you come up with stuff like this???!! The imagery, the metaphor, the power of the phrase embedded in the words just… wow. Spectacular. God, I just really, REALLY hope with every ounce of my soul you find a way to repair yourself or someone to repair you because to lose yourself, saving someone else who was broken is so heroically tragic it breaks my heart because you are such a beautiful person.




Dear Imalright
I offer you Poet’s Love.
One poet to another.
I admire your work and your work is made out of little parts of you.
I admire you and your strength, your writing abilities and your outlook on life.
Never ever change.
I hope you find Hope.
Message me anytime should you need anything.
And I want to thank you for being such a strong inspiration to the race of people we call: Poets.
Love,
Ember Evanescent.

he promised he'd take her out on the town at a quarter past three
and by a quarter of three she was dead in the living room
with her father's linens draped around her ankles
and below her skin, a purple fountain flowing

he promised her father he'd mend the holes in the linen
which had stained dark after her ascension
after her stomach acid bore craters into the floor polish
after her tongue fell from her lips to kiss the lace

and then men with suitcases took her body away at a quarter past three
they came without breaking or collapsing in the living room
they shrouded her in clinical-white sheets
and walked out the door bearing stoic expressions

leaving nothing but the world behind them

the Cambridge ladies who live in furnished souls
are unbeautiful and have comfortable minds
(also,with the church’s protestant blessings
daughters,unscented shapeless spirited)
they believe in Christ and Longfellow,both dead,
are invariably interested in so many things—
at the present writing one still finds
delighted fingers knitting for the is it Poles?
perhaps. While permanent faces coyly bandy
scandal of Mrs. N and Professor D
….the Cambridge ladies do not care, above
Cambridge if sometimes in its box of
sky lavender and cornerless,the
moon rattles like a fragment of angry candy

In this society, the beautiful is more loved                
Accepted,                
Cherished,                
Adored,                
Held so dearly.                
                
Oh how difficult it is to hide                
The unlovely                
and ill favored sight.

Once upon a time
and once only
there lived an unsightly man

and though he was very kind and hard-working
no woman got
more than one step closer to him

after a while
seeing he cannot find his soulmate
the man left the village and built himself a cabin
in the woods

all day long
he chopped wood
picked fruit and herbs
occupied himself with carpentry and animal husbandry
and grafted all sorts of trees in spring

from time to time
the villagers came to see him
asking for advice on how to heal their wounds
ordering a door
or a bed
and less often
a coffin

but the man in the woods
though more and more sought-after
was
more and more miserable
as time went by

one day
unable to possess his soul anymore
wove a rope
and went to the oldest oak
to hang himself
but the oak
who had seen so much in its life
but never a man so wretched
broke the branch he was hanging on
then covered him with leaves
so that no one could find him
right next to its trunk

but
underneath the leaves
our man fell asleep at once
and woke up before God
and he said to Him
Lord
You know that ever since I was a child
I have been careful not to tread on ants
or any kind of crawlers
I have not stolen
I have not lied
I have worked all my life
for all that I earned
inspite of these
I am really miserable
that no woman wants me

and the Lord said
I know you very well
there is hardly anyone as kind as you out there
but as much as I love you
I cannot create a woman so unbeautiful
to love you
but
you can

look
from the dried oak branches
you can shape a woman's body
fill it with clay and wrap it in leaves
and I will take care of the rest

so, after he woke up
our hero
worked on his clay creature for three whole days
but fearing she would reject him
he made her even more unattractive than he was

on the third day
he called God
and asked Him to give her life
and the Lord
as promised
blew the breath of life into the woman

seeing this wonder
the man was grateful to the Lord
then woke her up gently
with a kiss on the forehead
she then opened her eyes and asked him:
who are you
and why are you
so hideous that you are scaring me

to which he cried and said
forgive me
I am your servant
The Lord made me like this
to protect you from wild beasts
but I am hard-working and wise
to care for you how I know best

but she closed her eyes
and then he understood
to only care for her
in secret

and as he loved her more and more
her ugliness began to fade
becoming more beautiful with every passing day

soon
a young villager came to ask for remedies for his mother
and not little was his surprise
when he saw the most beautiful woman
he had ever seen
and she saw him, too
and understood what love is
oh, how she whined that night

seeing all this
the man who dreamt too much
told her the following day
look
I know it is time to go our separate ways
I cared for you as well as I could
and I hope you are not dissatisfied with anything
go with that handsome young man
and should you need anything
look for me
if you can bear to look me in the eye
and so she did

years later
while keeping himself busy with a bee garden
the man in the woods felt her presence behind him
but, afraid not to scare her,
he did not turn around
and she cried out:
I eventually learned the whole story
so I came to ask for your forgiveness
and look into your eyes
and the man
who had stopped dreaming for a long time
turned around and was astonished
to see before him
the most unsightly woman in the world
but he did not mind
so, he cared for her
just like that first day
and she regained her beauty and happiness
and perhaps
the man in the woods would have never learnt
why his woman caressed him with so much joy
if one day he did not look in the water of a spring
and see
the most handsome man
there has ever been
out there

If you go to the dictionary,
Flip to the letter L,
Find the word Lovely,
It'll probably be defined as
"Charmingly beautiful,
Beauty that appeals
To mind and eye."

But to me,
Lovely means all that
And more.

Lovely means
Being love,
Even when it means
Getting your hands *****
And feeling unbeautiful.

Lovely means
Getting up at 12:00 am
To change ***** diapers
Or calm someone down
After night terrors-
Because even if what you're doing
Isn't very lovely,
But you do it out of love,
That's when you are most lovely.

Lovely means washing the feet
Of those you hate-
Doing it with a smile
On your face-
And that's when you look
Most lovely.

Lovely is
Washing laundry
For the one thousandth time,
And cooking supper for your family,
Even when you're all cooked-out.

Lovely is
Giving birth
To the earth's Savior
In a *****, rotten, ugly-lovely stable
On a cold night.

Lovely is
Being beaten
With a cat of nine tails whip,
Hanging on the cross,
Bloodied brow,
Grieving heart.

Lovely is sacrifice,
And pain
And bleeding forgiveness
And scars of heartache
From what some would call
"Loving too much"
But if you live lovely,
You know you can never
Love too much.

Lovely is more
Than lipstick
And blush,
And fluttering your eyes
And faking the right smile.

Lovely is
Getting hands *****
And loving until
You don't think you can,
And then loving with all you have
And more.

Lovely is
More than being beautiful,
Lovely is living life
Beautifully,
Even when it means
Being unbeautiful.

I do love life.
I believe there are so many beautiful things out there.
Like dust in the sunlight,
wildflowers by the sidewalk
or that boy with the dark hair on the train, yesterday.
Children laughing,
people holding doors for others,
saturday mornings.
Life is beautiful.
I just wish
that I
was one of those beautiful things.

I will never find you unbeautiful,
over all time and between all distance.

I barely feel useful
Fat and Not Beautiful
Anymore
***** I'm Verging on Poor
All I Know is I Gotta'
Do Better
Do What it Takes,
Whateva'

I Am Done Feeling
Useless and Unbeautiful

Dear  Elsa Angelica,
So I have read through your poetry.
If you were made out of five words
Bent and tied with ribbons to shape your soul
Those words would be
Inspiring
Kind
Talented
Beautiful
Strong

I don’t know you
Your story
Your secrets
Your pain

But
I know that your poetry inspires me
Really it does
You are a kind person with loving words to offer at any given moment
You are so poetically talented it is outrageous
You are so, so beautiful inside and out
Your soul is beautiful
Your words are beautiful
YOU are beautiful
You are strong
To have held up so many others who were crumbling
You are STRONG
To have held up yourself
And been strong enough to admit when you are weak
I have selected some of my favorite lines of yours and responded to them.
I want you to know
I think you are a speechless and precious type of beauty that doesn’t exist anywhere else
Please keep writing
Because your writing
Changed me inside
And it keeps me going
Alive, not just existing
And I want to thank you for that
For fueling my smile
~Love~
Ember

I want to be
Happy once and for
All.
But how do I start
-Elsa angelica

What a lovely wistful wish verbalized for the rest of us who all wonder that same question. Pretty words, but also so much more than just pretty, so glimmering with deep meaning every syllable. You are so gifted with the pen.

I did not mean to hurt you.
I am sorry I caused you pain.
-Elsa angelica
You are so brave and should be admired and acknowledged for your strength in admitting you are sorry for something and apologizing for pain you may have caused. I have such extreme and overwhelming respect for you, reading this. Putting kindness and goodness before pride. You are wonderful.

Love is love
-Elsa angelica
So poetic, so simple, so brilliant. I can’t even say anything else, the line speaks for itself. Your work speaks for how exceptional you really are a person, as a poet and as a soul.

In autumn...
the leaves fall
like slow
motion rain
-Elsa angelica

I know this is an entire poem but I couldn’t split up specific lines I liked I was just so in love with this entire poem your wrote. Powerful imagery WOW.

Good bye
Fake love.
-Elsa angelica

You are wise to recognize falseness in love. We all struggle with that and we all struggle even more with farewells. You are admired and applauded by me for these lines. Magnificent poetic phrase. I adore this.

I know I was not a pretty flower
I know a few thorns I had.
-Elsa angelica
Oh, but even a flower with thorns is beautiful. As my close personal friend and Hellopoetry Poet friend Ena Alysopriano so wisely once said to me when I was calling myself a ****: Don’t confuse wildflower with ****. Well now I say to you, don’t confuse thorns with being unbeautiful along those same lines. You are so pretty on the inside and outside. Your work, your spirit, the way you choose to live, how kind you are, what a difference you make. Nevertheless, this line in the poem you wrote is gloriously delightful. Seriously. I am amazed.  

Cuz fear is knocking on my door
-Elsa angelica

Such an excellent metaphor, so achingly relatable to basically everyone and so genius. Incredible write by such an incredible poet. You. Are. Phenomenal.

Elsa,
Thank you for writing.
I just want to express my appreciation and gratitude for what you bring to the art of poetry itself.
Stay beautiful.
I think you are remarkably exquiste.
<3
Love,
Your ever admiring Ember Evanescent


EVERYONE SHOULD CHECK OUT HER SPECTACULAR WORK!!

Before last night, I'd only seen the forbidden-fruit curves and
ripples
rendering my skin unbeautiful.
But in the fluorescent indifference of a drugstore
I caught sight of my legs through eyes not my own,
new tapers and bulges swathed in black spandex
even too flimsy for the $15 price tag,
and wondered why words like "small" and "gap"
were heaven to my ears,
while "quadriceps" and "endurance"
have their own quaint ring,
a lovely taste on the tip of a tongue
which has spent too much time
wallowing in self-hatred.

Strength isn't a virtue in women,
we who learn from birth to take up
as little space as possible.
Our shapes always need shaping,
guiding,
sometimes our own voices telling ourselves
we deserve the pain of fatigue
after one mile too long spent running
up the avenue,
forcing ourselves to faint
for a glimpse of thinner thighs,
we deserve to be dehumanized
if we don't inch our way into
the body laid out for us by
Mother Society.

Where is the place for the girl who
hobbles home, skin bruised purple
but flushed with the accomplishment of stopping
every single shot in practice?
Or for the boy whose gentle hands provide
the perfect perch for a butterfly to land upon?

My strength is not an imperfection.
There is beauty in it, and discipline.
These legs can take me for miles if I
take off the iron vest that keeps me
anchored to a Hollywood version
of myself.

Without it, I can fly.

If I don't belong why am I here?
I don't belong
So tell me
Tell me why I am here
But everyone doesn't see it
They don't see that I don't belong
My quietness hides it
The way of my denyness
The way of my self lies it's...
It's self hatred, self harm
Why did I lie when I stood naked in front of a mirror and said out loud and in my head five times that I am beautiful?
I didn't believe one bit of every silable in that word
Not for myself
"Beautiful."
This is a lie I could never take in
Never believe in
Never see even if others try showing me
Imperfections Imperfections
I don't want to be perfect
I want to be someone else
Someone who's more than me
I want less and I want more
I want less of me and more of someone else
If only I was more
If I was more I could do better
Could be better
Only
Only I'm stuck with this
This unbeautiful me
An unbeautiful creature than everyone and no one sees
*I am part of everyone and I am part of no one

i am the mundane
i feel so many things
but i spend my days attempting to conceal it
i have wings upon which i am sure i could fly
that i compress under the pressure
of my pathetic, self-inflicted inferiority complex
i am the mundane
i am not the spoken about
nor am i the one occupying any one person's thoughts
i may not be invisible
but i do not linger
the walls surrounding me are closing in and
my stomach rejects any thought of nourishment
my dreams keep shocking me awake but i cannot scream
i have so many stories to tell
but they all seem to pale in comparison
whenever someone else speaks up
i am the average
i am not ugly but i am by no means pretty
(although you would say "no, you're breathtaking" with a warm smile that would melt my frozen heart)
my words are by no definition astounding
but i thrive on them
(however you said once that my words are beautiful and therefore don't deserve to be read by unbeautiful people)
I have no quirks, nothing unique that I can boast about
(i wonder what your argument against that might be)
i stay idle in the same place
for hours on end
(but you give me validation because i am not lazy and i accomplish more than i give myself credit for)
i constantly find myself trapped in this hole
knowing full well that I dug it myself
but now, i can claw myself out
because i am not alone.

I am average (you see me as amazing)
You are incredible (you see yourself as sub-par)
I suppose we are two sides of the same self-loathing coin.

You rode bikes with Milka
to the bridge over the river
and stood looking down
at the flowing water

and talked
of the latest
Elvis Presley film
you’d seen

and she said that she
had wanted to see it
but her mother
had forbidden it

saying it was not
the type of film
for her age
then you talked

of the film you’d seen
while working
as a cinema projectionist
called Ben Hur

and the great
chariot races in it
she leaned close to you
as you talked

her hands
on the brick bridge
her hips pressing
gently against yours  

she said she like it
when you came
to their farmhouse
and practised judo

with her brothers
and she could watch
and as she spoke
you studied her

her short fair hair
her large blue eyes
her delicate hands
the fingertips rubbing

against the bricks
of the bridge
the simple
green shift dress

she had on
and do you remember
that time you had them
both on the grass at once

in that karate fight?
she said excitedly
and you noticed
maybe

for the first time
her small firm bust
her figure
kind of huggable

although you hadn’t
hugged her
and she went on
about wanting to go

out with you
but her brothers
had said
Baruch won’t be

interested in you
he likes pretty girls
and you looked
at her eyes

as she spoke
how large they were
yet not unbeautiful
the orbs blue

portraying
wide worlds of you
and how old are you?
she asked

because they
keep saying
you’re too old
for me

16
you said
well
she said

I’m 14
so that isn’t
too old is it?
no

you said
seeing her eyes look
kind of watery
like small fish bowls

then she talked
of having seen you
in her dreams
and that in her dreams

you had kissed her
where did I kiss you?
you asked
on the lips of course

she said
no I meant
where abouts
was I when I kissed you?

o
she said blushing
in the barn
by the farmhouse

o I see
you said
never having been
there with her

only with her brothers
to do judo fights
she looked down
at the water

her eyes wide
and watery
a bird flew by
a bird song sounded

you leaned close to her
and kissed
her ear
through her

fair hair
and she looked at you
and you saw
new worlds

being born there
amongst the blue
Milka smiling
at an older you.

The world weighs down upon the life examined.
But life is unsubstantiated;
Proof is sought in the darkness
with unbeautiful hands that extend
gracelessly into the unknowable,
Desperate for the horizon.
And we set ourselves on fire,
burning in blue flames,
to escape what we can't control
and to remember what it means to exist.

Telling someone who is honest enough with you to admit they suffer the pain of feeling eternally unbeautiful that they are being annoying and making you uncomfortable and falsely self-deprecating, vain and attention seeking is like telling someone who is continually being stabbed that their screaming is annoying and making you uncomfortable and they are faking their agony and being overdramatic and attention seeking. Certain pains you just can't see. It doesn't mean they don't hurt and burn and shatter you. There are different kinds of pain. And this one is anguish like no other.

Ugly are your wings so drab and dark          
Softly bending against rippled bark  
Golden borders with spots of blue                
Dreary patterns of somber hue  
  
Mourningcloak you are a fraud        
A butterfly severely flawed  
Unbeautiful as your name implies    
The ugliest of all butterflies  
  
Mental illness makes for fragile wings  
Always falling short of better things  
A dolorous sight of stark despair  
And restless flights that go nowhere                          
    
Strange specimen caught in a net                  
To choose to live is to forget  
That life will end but death won’t come        
In the killing jar you just go numb  
  
Through rounded glass will life transform      
And taste so sweet of chloroform  
A soothing bane breathed in real deep          
Faint distractions drift fast asleep  
              
Isolation keeps you who you are                        
Death is endless in the killing jar  
Wings held outstretched on the spreading board    
Pass deathless moments where time’s ignored  
                                      
Pins pierce the body and puncture through                
To hold you here but you’re not you  
Pinned and labeled put on display                              
Pressed in a box and forced to stay  
  
Immortalized in a private case        
In solitude to hang in place  
Repulsive feckless Mourningcloak  
Now the symbol of life’s cruelest joke

A daylight painted in a night shade
In the circle of a thunderous grumble...

'you have hid your beautiful self under
beautiful clothes'.

But then, I saw she spoke to no one.
Near the quiet
pathway which separated us from spirits  
at the market
where three paths dance in direction of the gods.. .

Ah!
Aziza danced up dust to his sacred being
Magnified by the quiet presence
of the pathways.
She spoke again,

'good for you
You have hid yourself
Under the restful shade of earth'.

When I could see she was dressed
as the unbeautiful look
seated by some flesh of,
swollen earth,
I Knew
suddenly.

A daylight vanishing to her peaceful rest
In the circle of a thunderous grumble
I staring with her
at Silence...

Like beads are the years
that we string to make our lives.
Many times choosing the forms, weights, colors.
More often taking whatever is offered or found.
Your necklace seems of pearl
light and smooth.
Easy to the eye.  
Mine, a patchwork of random creation.
Here, harmony.  
There, mismatched and oddly combined.  
But not unbeautiful.  
A strong string runs through the middle of the two.
Faithfully bearing the uneven weight
and the growing heaviness
of our ever-filling lives

Afraid to mess up

I think he's giving up

Hold up

             Hold on

I've been waiting on this feeling for so long

He said "why are you acting so tough?"

"CAUSE TRUTH IS, I'M 50 SHADES OF TORN UP!"

My tears are now my thoughts

My thoughts are now my fears

I know you'll never love me even if I tried for years

I want to believe that you want me just as bad as I want you

The unbeautiful truth  

That's why I silenced my love for you

It was too loud

The sound drowns out the side affects of you

As I cope with the symptoms

Chasing after your momentum

Kissing your flesh

Trying to get under your skin

I love you but I don't know where to begin

I'm shattered

still the words
do pierce my soul
and make me feel
unbeautiful

still the looks
do come my way
and make me feel
that i shouldn't stay

'why don't you come?'
the people ask
' we will have fun,
we'll have a laugh'
if only they knew
the reason why
sometimes people
will make me cry

I remember wondering
why anyone would smoke
knowing it would **** them.
I suppose I assumed that
it was for an Instagram picture
of a morning drag and coffee;
for friends and ten minute breaks
But I think it might be learned apathy
because who the **** cares about lungs
when they won't be the first part of you
to crumble into useless, unbeautiful ruin.
Nowadays I feel a lot like a smoker
for someone who's never touched a cigarette.
I'd end the poem here
but I wish, I wish, you wouldn't smoke
and I hope I don't die.

She lurks in the darkness, waiting;
Watching with an evil glare, hating.
She waits for the perfect time to strike,
Magnifying everything I don't like.

It starts with a frown, a sad little moan.
As I fret each imperfection I've grown.
She hears my cries, laughs in delight.
Now is where we begin the fight.

She tears my flesh, claws my veins.
Though no one will hear my pain.

She laughs louder,
as the blood flows faster
and my tears fall,
like an April shower.

She thrives off my pain, though no one can see
The kind of pain she's throwing me.
She's a monster, a demon.
But the pain won't stop.

I call her my reflection.
I call her, Unbeautiful.

Wake up.

Eyes jut open,
Laying on the hard wet sand of a beach,
Unbeautiful.

Gray.
Tan.
Cold.
The colors felt.

Change your ways.

Wake up warm.

Art is subject to inspection (unscheduled)
Started out suspects whose inventions we let alope
Messages sent out of love that we let go
Readers unknown still we feel like we met though
Raw and unbeautiful
Scars we don't let show
Scarfs with no winds blown
Broken Hope's forgotten dreams
Her father's daughter mother's mean
Seldom on purpose unpurposely
Stolen she knows not the poet is me
Told how awful I am;
Though, it's easy to see
it's awful are we
Yeah, how awful are we?

Beautiful flowers grew from behind the house
Where never a flower once grew.

The wonder was my troubled mind tossed in a long wave of troubled waters....

for never a flower grew in my father's backyard
as impressively green
to a flourish of protruding beaus of freshly upturned earth.

Perhaps thee beautiful flower that sprouts
From earth in father's backyard is father
Painting flowers on his own piece of  earth.

Unbeautiful you death.

Sometimes
I feel defeated
By my own need
To be noticed or readed
If I could settle for being obscure
I’d surely have a more peaceful world
But here I am writing this poetry
And it hurts my soul when nobody cares to see
I love these poems
They’re part of me
Apparently
Not as beautiful as I wish they could be