I should have known,
that you would leave me one day.
Our hearts were forced together as one,
even though we knew they weren't meant to.
One morning,
you left me-alone.
My heart was unbareable.
Bleeding tears,
I slowly placed it back in my chest,
and began to let the blood flow.
I should have known that,
you would do me like any other girl,
but i was too blind from that pearly white fake smile to..,
even let that sink in.
I was too caught up in the way you made me feel
when I was around you.
I should have known that,
that moment we had when,
I place my head in your chest and inhaled for the longest,
it would be my last deep thought of us.
They say love will do that to you,
but
I should have known,
you didn't love me.
I should have known that,
when we slowly stiched our hearts together,
I should have stopped sewing your lies into my body.
They were thicker than my blood.
How could I be so stupid?
I should have known,
I should have never let you mistreat me.

Isn't it amazing?
Me and you, side by side,
hand in hand,
eyes locked to eachother,
hearts beating in one rhythm.
You taught me how to love,
to admire someone greatly.
Taught me how to crave
and miss someone deeply.
You gave me a reason to
give my heart out to, well,
you... but look at us now.
What seemed to be a perfect
life, is now a nightmare.

You shattered my heart into pieces,
having my tears fall from my
face like a shimmering waterfall.
"He's not worth your tears"
That's what I hear constantly;
but you don't understand, they
certainly will never understand the
emotions we have shared together,
emotions I had for you.

A Break-Up
I now understand the meaning
to that very word.
It takes away your mind,
evaporating away those content,
incredible memories.
Nothing matters anymore, no good
will occur; with all these memories
of you surrounding me, I can't
bare to survive like this.
Don't you see that
my heart is bleeding for you,
don't you care?

My hands are constantly trembling,
wanting to hold you once more;
just feeling your flesh on my fingers.
But that won't ever happen again,
I should have seen it from the beginning.
Your perfect self was too good
to be true, I was falling for a lie.
You lied that you cared about me,
that you loved me so much.
I see it now, you're another "guy",
one just out there to play with
our minds, our emotions.
How could you do that to me?

You shot my heart,
and now I'm here trying to
take out the bullet you sinked
in me; the pain it causes
is unbareable, but I'm strong.
I thought you were the one,
the perfect one in my dreams,
wow was I ever wrong.

And here it goes, this is the end,
thank-you for never caring,
for never really loving me.
Thank-you for making me see
the person you really are;
cold-hearted, weak.
I will never be the person
I once was because of you;
this bullet is still *******
into my heart like a tattoo,
beating, living, but still in pain.

@@@
Shown too much...hidden treasure revealed.
Truth brought forth a new prespective
all to real

How could u show me
that which would make me complete
just out of reach
I am met with defeat

My body aches
and the hate penetrates
closing the eternal gate

Lines have been drawn
between Passion and Pain
I've chosen to be numb
so I can sustain

Unworthy to have
I've settle for less
and now I miss my eternal bliss
bring back the kiss to my hungry lips

Breathe me to life
for my breath has ceased
the torture is unbareable
I'm drowning in grief

Blinded by sorrow
no faith in tomorrow
been robbed of today
not much left to say

Visions I seek of you
have made me anew
searching endlessly
for my destiny
@@@

there are no words that can describe how grusomely descusting you are dear.
your head is what some might call, unbareable.
just the thought of you is enough to progectile *****.

the things you've done.
the pain you've created.
its enough to lock you away for years.
no one actually wants you around here.
everyones pretending.

you dont understand the thoughts we think when your name is mentioned.
and honestly darling.
you wouldnt be happy if you could.

so thankyou.
thankyou for ******* breathing you silly little ****.

I love you but,
I will make you jealous and cry
I will make you feel weak,
Crazy,
Insecure,
Unbareable but,
I love you

What happens when.
You wake up.
And forget everything.
You have no sense of who you are.
People tell you who are.
Tell you people you should know.
But you dont...
What happens when you relive every thing.
Is it all happening then?
Or is it a memory.
Is this pain from now?
Or is it from the past?
Is this hurt and pain and want and urge of death.
From now?
Is this unbareable craving of pain, the want to cut youself.
How do you know.
Whats recent and from the past..
What happens when you lose all control.
What happens when you want to die.
What happens when your in so much pain.
No one can see they need to let you go..
No one but one knows your pain.
One person, has the same pain.
What happens when you lose all want to live..
Why is everyone blind.
I am in to much pain to go on?
You wake up clueless of who you are.
Just knowing, every little memory re living it.
No one knows how bad you want to end.
No one knows the pain.
Of reliving ever little time ive been *****.
Of reliving the death of the person you loved.
Of reliving your molestation.
reliving watching your daughter die.
Reliving your hell.
No one knows...
No ones knows the pain..
What happens when you love the pain of the blood falling down your wrist again.
What happens when you want to give up?
Are you gonna be forced to live a life.
To fake your hell is not killing you already.
To fake you have a soul.
I lost my lit up heart it died with the ashes.

You are cursed with a never ending life.
Some would love this.
But why love a life.
When your accused of killing.
Your accused of a ****** you simply didnt do.
When your taken from every great thing.
When your sole purpose is to watch the people you love die.
When you watch people like casey
Blame themself.
for deaths.
death the didnt have anything to do with.
When you know they didnt.
They dont know they **** you more.
The pain from others.
**** every hope you have of a soul.
J lee died.
And the one thing i loved more than life.
Blames him own self.
A death destroyed him.
1
Not 47.
Ive seen 47.
How destroyed must i be?
Does anyone know my pain?
Do they?
No.
No one has lived my life.
Everyone would die in my shoes.
I cry.
But think how the hell strong i am.
To even consider loving you all enough to stay.
So next time you doubt me.
Think of that.
Think of why the hell i'd stay for something i hated.
If i am alive.
In a life i cant wait to ******* end..
-love

i used to be more happy. i used to make them notes made up of hearts and "i love yous". i used to take the time to make cds of songs that reminded me of him, or spray my perfume on my favorite bear so he could have something to hold at night. i used to never fail to send a "goodmorning sunshine" text or never hesitate to pour my heart out. i wasnt afraid to dream of a future together or write them poetry. but one by one they picked the petals off of me and left me hallow and bare. and the only thing i have to look foward to is maybe a "goodbye" when the next decides to leave.*

my, you're so unbareable

Unbareable feelings
Take me whole

I fear I cant go back
Where I feel at home

Once I'm there
There's no turning back

Im in ruins
As scorching memories
Bruise my mind

I fall
Into unbreakable silence

I fall for you
To please your every need

You linger inside me
Taking all that you can get
Until my mind and body
Succumb to your abuse
And break

And I am nothing

Every tear I shed is like million drops of rain
Every painful sigh, screams only your name
Every memory of you, I relive again and again
Every second without you is unbareable pain

❤Mum❤

You were the one that brought me smiles.
Then i realize i lost you.
I can't believe the lies.
But in reality you are lying to me too.
The fact is unbareable.
You said you dont want to "lose me"...you "miss me".
But you turn around & throw me way like a old apple your done eating.
Then tell me not to contact you.
So much for not being lost.

You ridicule me for my feelings,
Which are valid, strong and hopeful.
You make mistakes like all of us,
So when will you admit you've done wrong?

I'm so fractured it's become unbareable,
My kindness is loved until,
You don't want to give it back.

You'd rather infuriate me,
Like I'm the bad guy.
You'd stab me with the knife,
but blame me for the bleeding.

I'm so fractured it's become grey,
you think I'm ungrateful but I don't,
want gifts if it fueled their fights.

Their love and kindness,
is very selective.
I don't fit that category,
even if I'm their daughter.