"unanchored" poems
I stumbled across a letter from an old friend,
its contents were long and wordy but they had their end.
It was just her way of saying she appreciated our friendship.
A friendship unanchored, blew away with the wind
with paper sails that have only thinned.
Birthdays used to be a grand affair; a day to celebrate
but each year the wishes dwindle down so I reciprocate.
Radio meets silence while we're both aware of the days
until it becomes a memory of the song that no longer plays.
Too busy trying to navigate channels that changed.
Then an invitation to a graduation came to me one year
a wedge of uninterrupted distance bridged by a, "Dear."
I don't know if olive branches can hold my weighted heart
but I sent my response to expect me there
before I decided to not care.
When the day came you said, "I didn't think you would come!"
I kept quiet how I cried in my car a block from
your home. I hid my face in your arms and squeezed you tight
because the wedge between us was five-years wide.
"I said I would," is all I replied.
And we asked each other questions that friends don't ask.
What did you study? Where do you live? What do you do?
We joke around but do not laugh as hard as we used to.
My past brought to my present like a nostalgic gift.
A chance to heal over our ocean-wide rift.
And there were no known reasons! I can't turn back the clock!
I just drifted like a small boat barely tethered to its dock
until a storm came and everyone forgot to tie me down.
Or maybe it was on purpose, or maybe I couldn't secure me.
I was the fourth in a unit of three, send me out to sea.
But there is a positive to all of this turmoil
there is a reason the invitation made it to my door.
I rowed myself through the five-year waves back to shore
and tethered my boat and checked the knots times ten.
When friends become strangers we get to meet again.
May 20, 2020
May 20, 2020 at 1:15 PM UTC
You took me to the beach house
along Amaryllis Street
so I could pick up where you left off
crushing waves against the rocks
the high tide
re-collecting in time-lapse images
how you had vanished up the dirt road of a lie
(sand between my teeth, on my tongue)
how I had buried bulbs of Amaryllis
in the wake of your goodbye
a casket of dormancy suspended
an unanchored buoyancy disposing of I
in seaweed trenches
besides
the Amaryllis bloomed
a distant wreath of pink trumpet heads
splitting
pushing through the time-lapse
holograms of a shallow rhizome mind
Jan 12, 2016
Jan 12, 2016 at 1:27 PM UTC
All silent in the months of grace
When frosty blankets fall across the hills
And fields where birds once sang their verse,
But melody of wind is all we know.
These lands to die are not yet dead
Though bee does mourn for blooms and for himself
When beetle joints go stiff with cold --
When funerary twilight season comes
To ***** the days. The final wren
Now senses slipping of the year, and so
Of tenant hill and glen deprived
Set in for sleep. If never to awake --
To never feel a verdant joy
Or exultation of the orb that breathes
Bright life into our skies -- at least
Released from hardships and her sorrows be.
But she has faith, she loves the sun!
The twinkling of his eye will come in May
Or else with April's gown he'll march:
Believing in her lover's rising light
The dream that takes her through the night.
Not far, a sickly naiad's wood
In seasons past so fair of face and leaf,
Yet creeping forest's yellowing
Like fingernails of corpse when skin recedes.
But then blush orange sanguinate:
The lover's sigh ignites when dies the vine,
Their bubbling veins in praise of life
When soonest to be severed by cruel scythe.
This phantom of their fate is grim,
More grim be sure than fate that falls in death:
The slings and arrows of the mind
Are those most potent poisoned, fear them not --
Illusory as winter's chill
That peels off maiden's wedding veil in spring:
A peaceful rest does come to all
Though private troubles drown the trees through fall.
Unthinking sleep does bliss the boughs,
In hibernation lose to learn anew
The sights proved true by waking world
That are the growing season's cause to feel.
When browns the brush and flies the thrush
Unanchored Daphne nods and starts to drift
In sea where beings dream as one.
Soft blizzard quilt on woods in slumber laid,
Demeter's daughter vanished into shade,
With knowledge that she'll never fade.
Nov 10, 2011
Nov 10, 2011 at 2:56 PM UTC
My bones ache
My eyes are hot and raw
I am utterly cast out to sea
Unanchored
Treading water in a vast expanse of terrifying blue turbulence
I shout into the empty nothingness
Driving the air out of my lungs to call for you
"Where are you?"
"Please don't leave"
"I am not ready..."
But you are gone
and my voice echoes in the deep
like the devastating and futile cries of the last Kauaʻi ʻōʻō bird searching for a mate who will not come
Oct 13, 2023
Oct 13, 2023 at 6:41 AM UTC
my heart is fragile
my smile is broken
my soul is tortued
my eyes have turned blind
my fingers got burned cause of cupid
my wounds are open
my throat is dogged up
the pain is flowing
my insides are burning
(let’s just keep going)
my mind is fidgeted
my thoughts are caged
my bloodstreams are bursting
introspective is weakened
unanchored sailing takes place.
Feb 28, 2015
Feb 28, 2015 at 12:31 PM UTC
We drifted like unanchored ships,
Across the sea.
Soon you were just an undistinguishable shape on the horizon,
That I only knew through memory.
I did not know how the sea changed you,
And you did not know how it weathered me.
Jun 11, 2013
Jun 11, 2013 at 11:04 PM UTC
Here we lie, tangled in
Each other, yet apart
My eyes focus, I track across
Your face, this room, these clothes
So known and yet as blurred
As the graphics on your shirt
I count your eyelashes
As though they are rosary beads,
And try to find you hidden
In their shells
I see you, but don't know you.
Bittersweet memories
Crash and break around me;
I lose you in their depths
Two pairs of lips in a blind dance
I barely follow.
Disgust and want fight over me,
Love lost in waves of apathy
Hormonal needs are met by hands
Ill-conceived kisses greet them-
Breath is caught too quickly
And my desperate searching fails.
Your mask grimaces. You smile,
I’m blank, and pale and still.
My mind and soul are smothered
By dark polluted thoughts
And when it's over, it's not finished;
You study my face for clues
While I trace the etchings of my skin
And yearn for clean release
It's not you, it's me.
It's not you, and it's not me either,
This room is not your room.
I drift, unanchored, unresponsive
Too tired to understand
So I silently indulge
You in complicity
And although our bodies join
We both miss our connection
My mind has turned the one I love
Into a stranger.
Dec 4, 2016
Dec 4, 2016 at 3:28 PM UTC
If loose lips sink ships
Then this buzz has unanchored the foot in my mouth
And now I really have some **** to say
Because the only time my mouth might look like it were about to launch torpedoes is
Now
Similar to blowing a bubble
Or anticipating a kiss
I aim to sink heavy metal devils with this drunken word stumble
I am done feeling lost in your sea
Waiting for your wind to take me away from unrequited
To simply sunken
Bring on your lovely devils
And apology notes
I’ll grit my teeth and bear it
I mean pretending not to care has never really been easy for me
I mean if I were an ostrich
I’d have my head in the ground right now
But thank god for beer
And best friends who owe you money
And the silence and patience it takes to decipher
The mental drunken slur of
“Stop hurting me like that”
Like Frank Sinatra said
“The best part about waking up with a hangover is
the only thing you have to look forward to
is feeling better”
I can’t wait to feel better
So bring on your jazz and work me up
And trumpet your lies
Mock love forgiveness
This headache was worth the trouble of forgetting
Sea foam
Beer foam
Either way I’m drowning with this ship
And either way I’m waking up
Missing you
And regretting everything I’ve said
Jul 31, 2011
Jul 31, 2011 at 11:38 AM UTC
sad child
where’s the love that made you
you withhold such a shattered canvas
with memories that decipher your path
you know not the comfort of peace
the sweet fragrance of freedom
has lost its taste
you know not of happiness
captured in teenage sappy
holograms of love’s collapsebility
humbles the kindness you had,
the focus you embodied,
the smile you embraced,
because of the sadness you carry.
severe depression made you whole
constant anxiety was your home
your mentality was wounded
your spirituality was fidgeted
your fragile soul
became, just, an unanchored spirit.
Jun 29, 2015
Jun 29, 2015 at 6:51 AM UTC
management and what YOU do with it
you'll noticed, i emphasized YOU
carve my likeness out of marble
cast it off shore, covered in barbed wire and
with cinderblocks attached by means of
a rope, let it sink weighed down but
unanchored and unsettled and disassociated and disappointed and concerned and confused and most of all but at last mention, alas
the sickness that i can
never seem to rid my orifices of
static usually but
for now frozen in endless motion
dead at first glance
Aug 15, 2013
Aug 15, 2013 at 7:00 PM UTC
The axe is blood red, by the worn churchyard door,
And there's a dark moisture where it's usually dry:
The pigeons are quiet now and no longer cooing;
For the ones who survived must fly higher than high.
So fly away Peter, fly away Paul;
Don't be found hanging round the churchyard no more.
The children are weeping and rubbing their eyes
As the feather's go tumbling, unanchored and free;
****** clumps clinging, to bush and to vine,
And a small pile of birds at the foot of a tree.
So fly away Peter, fly away Paul;
Don't be found hanging round the churchyard no more.
The attacks were unwarranted; murderous rage:
Something gone awry, in the caretaker's mind;
So he pulled out his coat sleeve the long skinny blade,
Putting to rout all the birds and their kind.
So fly away Peter, fly away Paul;
Don't be found hanging round the churchyard no more
Now the children have nightmares, which rouse them from sleep,
But it's too late to save their young eyes from the sight;
And the mute beaks are opening up toward the sky,
While they beat bloodied feathers through long endless nights.
So fly away Peter, fly away Paul;
Don't be found hanging round the churchyard no more.
Mar 8, 2010
Mar 8, 2010 at 5:49 AM UTC
Have a seat, sit down and talk to me.
I’m a closed book of secrets, you see.
I’ll promise you now that I won’t tell a soul.
Because I’ll do anything to make a life whole.
Know you can trust me because I’ve been in your shoes.
Swimming at the bottom with nothing to lose.
It’s worth a shot if I can save you from destroying yourself
If I can somehow demonstrate your value, your wealth…
I know how it feels to hate the skin that you’re in.
To not know where you are and forget where you’ve been.
I understand the pain of looking in a mirror,
And seeing a blurred image although completely clear.
I’ve walked down the path where I lost myself.
I’ve been at that point where I don’t care about my health.
In front of my eyes I’ve watched a love die,
Felt all the hurt of my strong mother’s cry.
Been separated from family and came back home,
Unanchored and drowning when allowed to roam.
Experienced first love and letting it slip away
Never spilling the words that I was dying to say.
Been used like a play thing and left here to die
Picking my pride back up and hanging myself up to dry.
Lost good friends that I will never get back,
But forming new friendships that will forever last.
Losing my faith in God and even in air,
Finding my way back through the power of prayer.
I am here for you and I’m here for anyone
Who on a bright summer day cannot find the sun.
If you feel like the sum of your parts is worth nothing,
Come have a talk with me so I can tell you something.
You are worth more than the weapons in your hands,
So if not for yourself, who will ever take a stand?
Your body is the greatest gift you will ever obtain
So treat it with care and forget about the pain.
And if after all this you are still holding the knife,
Talk to me so I can remind the beauty of this crazy life.
Apr 1, 2013
Apr 1, 2013 at 3:20 AM UTC
I don’t know anymore, how to feel something again
Feels like I’m drifting, lost in outer space, to god knows where
Unanchored from everything, yet my chest is heavy, eyes are lifeless
Each day repeats itself, every conversation feels hollow, insincere
I bury myself in work, not to build, but to forget
Laughter doesn’t echo, smiles barely stretch, just motions
And if I disappear, would it really matter?
It’s not selfish, just silent. Space swallows sound, and maybe it swallows me too.
In this silence, I lay dormant—
I no longer expect anymore.
There’s no pull, no push, just a vast, empty stretch.
The stars hang motionless, indifferent
and I’m no different
Sep 14, 2024
Sep 14, 2024 at 2:54 PM UTC
there you were
turning a *****
what was i to do
but let it all flow
the night lit with us
and we decided to float
a barge unanchored
no taught tethered rope
you speak of an hourglass
like ******** unkempt
and everything
in the eye
of a needle
ill never complain of seeping pores
id bleed enough for a tribe to see
with elbowed ghosts and semantic ******
ill feed with every chance i get
the night grew dim
when you spoke of an hourglass
ill never complain of seeping pores
for whatever is real
is inherently my refrain
ill never complain of seeping pores
for forever is our refrain
Oct 9, 2014
Oct 9, 2014 at 9:53 PM UTC
I want to escape
My body is a weight
I'd wish to plunge into the sea.
All this salt inside my wounds
still,
I cannot be unanchored to you
"Nothing purifies
a body like mine," you say.
I dream of ships
crashed upon the rocks
where they lay my body soft --
against the tattered sails,
Do you lust for me now?
You ****** these broken limbs
like a ****** hound
biting at my heels
was I good for just one meal?
chased out in the road
where girls like us go
to say goodnight
to what we owe
for a body that is
not our own.
May 24, 2015
May 24, 2015 at 6:10 PM UTC
Where will thy spirit settle,
For it has known...
Beauty in the reeds,
Peace upon the shore,
Sanctity of an empty horizon.
Yet returns to the helm restless every time.
Unsatisfied yet unweary.
Unanchored yet still tied.
Riding whims waves,
At its own mercy.
Seeking a harbor to find one,
and yet another...
Only to turn its sail away,
And return to the helm once again.
Will the current ever breach the captain's will?
Jul 15, 2011
Jul 15, 2011 at 6:19 PM UTC
my shadow
unfolded,
captive
of a blind night.
dazed,
straying,
time feeds on days,
unanchored.
Jan 15, 2017
Jan 15, 2017 at 5:22 PM UTC
Simple syrupy stare
Coast across khaki cascades of skin.
Drift in the distance between us
Float in our fuzzy energy,
Roll around in what could be.
Sail unanchored, always.
Skim, until it's time.
Smooth along where I belong
Stream between truth and freedom.
Dec 13, 2010
Dec 13, 2010 at 10:25 PM UTC
The wind is rushing thru the willows
they arch and bend but do not break
the gusts of air are strong with power
unanchored on the porch, things shake.
The green carpet rolls itself into a ball
the chairs around a table fold and fall
large big stuff holds solidly in place
things that go in motion are mostly small,
I feel some drops of rain but not too much
no thunder and no lightning do appear
the torrent of the wind is hard and steady
my dog takes caution - into the house
he won't return outside until he's ready.
I stand, let the hurried breezes hit my face
like a sea captain , most assured, would do
bracing myself alone - against the storm
happy and contented, to see it through.
In grudging, humble admiration, I submit
to nature's sudden, wild and wacky ways
it's rare and scarce and quite bewildering
it livens up and and embellishes my days.
Sep 8, 2020
Sep 8, 2020 at 12:35 AM UTC
Commitment unanchored, floating unchanged
Love forever escaping, like I'm dutifully chained
Immersed in excuses, Emoting motives i motion
Bound by fears of thoughts From the depths of this ocean
No Tredding but sinking into self made regrets tied
And blindfolded To this mast of my lies
"No it doesn't matter"
"I'll find someone someday"
"Someone will love me I gather"
"I'm all right, the pain, it fades away"
They say before making rash decisions
One should count to three
Well once, I almost touched it
Twice it was within grasp
Third time the charm of my broken heart slipped out of sight
I am loves whirlpool
May 22, 2015
May 22, 2015 at 5:37 PM UTC
This tether, to a dark ocean bed
pulled taut by the weight
attributed to this endeavour.
currents slicing
across sea floor
unanchored me.
lifeline
floating on the surface
upon water that might only be calmed
with time.
Mar 18, 2019
Mar 18, 2019 at 12:59 PM UTC
He stands at the crossroads, torn in two,
Between me and time, what is he to do?
I, the spark, the chaos, the flame,
Time, the steady—unwavering, tame.
They were friends first, their bond was light,
Born of comfort, not love’s true might.
She gives him safety, a familiar embrace,
But love isn’t comfort; it’s a deeper space.
I dance in colors, bold and wild,
Time whispers softly, serene and mild.
She moves in circles, unbroken, clear,
I leap through shadows, chasing the near.
Yet I stand faithful, steady, and true,
My love is constant, my promises few.
While she plays games, fleeting and free,
Chasing thrills without loyalty.
She’ll claim she feels, she’ll whisper “it’s real,”
But her actions betray what her words conceal.
For love isn’t fleeting, it’s steady and whole,
Yet she’d share him freely, with no care for his soul.
I see her using his heart as a tool,
Playing him softly, making him a fool.
For her, it’s a game, a fleeting affair,
But for him, there’s more, though she doesn’t care.
She loves the chase, the lust, the dare,
Invites a third without a care.
Her heart’s a wanderer, unanchored, loose,
While mine is tethered with no excuse.
When I hear they’re together, my heart starts to break,
A pain so deep, it’s more than I can take.
Yet she stands there, willing to share,
As if his love is a game, not something rare.
If we’re opposites, stark as night and day,
How can his heart beat in both our sway?
Does he love her stillness, her endless grace,
Or the thrill of my ever-changing pace?
I hold his secrets, his dreams, his fears,
I would stand beside him through trial and tears.
Yet her fickle heart, unbound by shame,
Would most likely cheat and tarnish his name.
Perhaps he is both—the wild and the calm,
Drawn to our worlds like a hymn and a psalm.
Yet, in this triangle, I can’t help but see,
What he loves most may not be her or me.
Dec 9, 2024
Dec 9, 2024 at 12:15 AM UTC
It spills into my ears
trickling into my mind
dripping onto my heart
pooling into
the many fine cracks
and solidifying.
It swirls in my soul
quickening my pulse.
I slowly close my eyes
and for even the slightest
of moments
I'm home.
No matter where I rest
in sunlight or darkness
I belong and feel whole.
I can slip away from
my worries, my regrets.
I can slide away from
who I am, if I need to,
into a soothing tide
of rhythms and choruses.
I can float off on a soft, steady
song that reassures my
unanchored confidence.
It pours into my many
subtle wounds
and beat by beat
heals me internally.
It is my infallible remedy
so out of passionate love
and utmost appreciation
for this cure-all sensation
I sing.
Apr 12, 2014
Apr 12, 2014 at 3:04 AM UTC
Losing the right to
occupy space I became
unanchored to this
flesh prison of mine.
Even my words lost in the
wind, but not to you.
Silencing the sound
of voices here, in my head
and beyond let me
exist in your state
of stillness. And let me count
the remaining time
of mine only by
the warmful beating of your
trusted, word clock-heart.
Sep 5, 2016
Sep 5, 2016 at 2:08 PM UTC
My heart, my heart
will eventually
unfold
All these secrets, secrets
untold
My heart, my heart
it bears, far too much weight
I must release, release everything
before, way before, I walk the plank
I must release, release once more
before, way before, or this ship will sink
and no more passengers, are left on board
© 2013 Christina Jackson
Mar 16, 2013
Mar 16, 2013 at 10:48 PM UTC