"tshibasu" poems
Hello there have you ever met her
They call her the broken angel
They call her the featherless angel
They call her the singed wings angel
But she wasn’t always that
Way back she was a beautiful angel
With beautiful white wings
Wings so bright they would blind mere mortals
With a beautiful unearthly face
A face that matched her heart
A heart so kind you could get lost into
And be happy to be lost within
Her wings were so powerful
They would fly her all over the world
And she wouldn’t get tired
But she was a lonely angel
Because many considered her to be perfect
Yes she was kind hearted
But her kind heart wasn’t enough apparently
So one day as she was flying around
She met another “angel”
One who looked sad and defeated
Her kind heart couldn’t just leave him
His wings were aflame and she worried for him
And so she gathered wind in her wings
And directed water to **** the fire on his wings
But it was too late his feathers were all gone
And he couldn’t fly anymore
And he started to sob and say
He was no longer an angel
And her kind heart compelled her
To try and clean the soot from his singed wings
And make him feel better
Oh broken angel how you regret that now
But even when she cleansed his wings
It wasn’t enough
With him it was never enough
He wanted more
He asked for more
He called her his angel
The one who saved him
And oh how he loved her so
But she could see he was unhappy
And she would ask him why so
Until finally one day as she finished cleaning his wounds
He said my wings are healing
But my feathers aren’t growing
And oh how I miss flying
The feeling of the wind so close
The feeling of being one with the skies
The feeling of seeing it all
Oh my angel how I miss it all
And his words broke her heart
And deep down she knew
She would risk it all to give him all
So she plucked a feather from her wing
And fixed it on his
And though it pained her so
The smile he gave after was worth it all
And so each day
Feather by feather
She fixed his wings
And it was never enough
Pain after pain
Plucking and fixing
Until she had few feathers left
Until her once white as snow feather
Were turned dark from the blood
And she couldn’t fly away
But he smiled that was enough for her
And so came the day for him
To try and fly
And fly he did and he never came back
And day by day night by night
She stayed awake waiting for him to come back
But he never did
And the kind hearted angel
Became broken with no wings to fly
And a heart that has bled and become dark
See she loved him so that she was blind
That with him it was never enough
Now she thought she had love
But at what cost???
She gave her wings to him
And he used those same wings to fly away from her
And not a day that passes by
Doesn’t she wish she didn’t love
That she didn’t feel
That she didn’t give
Now she’s not only the broken angel
But also the broken hearted one
Waiting for death to take her
So she wont feel so broken anymore
POEM BY JOYCE TSHIBASU
Jojo.poetry
Oct 31, 2018
Oct 31, 2018 at 5:34 AM UTC
Have you forgotten who you are?
Has the world changed your mind set?
Do you doubt who your father is?
Aren’t you a daughter to a king?
Why won’t you believe you’re beautiful?
You put filters on your photos
But now you have filters on your heart
So no one could see how you feel
You smile a perfect smile
But you know you are breaking apart
Your perfect life
Demands constant upgrades
Demands perfect emotions
You cut off real friends
Replace them with people
You gossip about
But its ok society demands and approves
You’re so used to filtered life
That you’ve forgotten how to live
Your emotions are filtered
That you don’t remember
How it is to feel
You are so focused
To please others
That you have forgotten
You are a kings daughter
You have abandoned your throne
To please peasants
You have forgotten your origin
But is it worth it?
You only live once
So why live a filtered life
You miss your throne
But to you picking up your crown
Means losing frenemies
To you sitting on your throne
Means feeling and living
And some how that’s a bad thing
Because society won’t approve
Dear Queen
Society is a hungry bottomless pit
It will never be satisfied
It will never approve
All it does is take
**** you dry till you’re empty
As a Queen you have so much to offer
But you can’t offer much
While you care what society thinks
You must sit on your throne
And show the Society what YOU think
Because that’s who you are
A Queen who knows her worth
POETRY BY JOYCE TSHIBASU
JOJO.POETRY
Oct 28, 2018
Oct 28, 2018 at 10:52 PM UTC
942 days 14 hours and 5 minutes
Since I lost you
Each day I remember you
And tell myself you will come back
And I'll spend time with you
And I will tell you how I love you
How I miss having you around
I wanted to write something for you
As soon as you left us
But I couldn’t bring myself to accept that
To accept that you were gone
To accept that you wont come back
Before I lost you
Death was a myth
And funerals were celebration of life in disguise
I didn’t know loss until you left
I didn’t know hurt until you were no more
I never understood regret and guilt
Until you couldn’t hear my apology
And so I cried
For all the times I refused to pick your calls
Because I was mad at you
For all the times I didn’t share my poems with you
For the times I hated you for abandoning me
And I cried for you leaving without a goodbye
I cried because death took you
And I never said how much I loved you
And even when everyone was saying goodbyes
And even singing praises about you
I knew if you were around you laughed
Because you never understood human hypocrisy
Because you knew those praises weren't real
Because you knew you were kind but never meek
So they gave you false praises and cried because they had to
And I realized even in death they misunderstood you
Cause even in death all you would want is them to be real with you
And all around me were people filled with guilt
Not sadness just guilt
Though the world might have forgotten about you
I didn’t for a second allow myself the thought
I wanted to remember you
As a reminder
Of what happens when we hold grudges
Of what happens when we don’t forgive
Of how we lose because of pride
Of how painful it is to lose and feel guilty
And so when I looked at your casket
There you were eyes closed
With that single dreadlock on your forehead
I begged you to wake up and forgive me
To smile at me, heck even hit me
But you were gone and it was too late
And I saw something I couldn’t forget
You in a wooden box lying in it
With that face of yours
That made me angry some days
And made me happy most days
And when they lowered you to the ground
When they made you one with soil
A piece of me followed you to the after life
A piece I will never recover
Others lost a friend, a son and boyfriend
I just lost a brother I had abandoned
A part of me I could never get back
And each day I pray for your forgiveness
And pray for peace of heart
Joyce Tshibasu
Dec 11, 2018
Dec 11, 2018 at 4:39 AM UTC
Am familiar with the sound of their laughter
Toward my physical appearance
Something I couldn't change even if I wanted to
But its okay
Am familiar with the ache in my heart
Every time they call me names and push me away
And I embraced those names and believed them
Am familiar with how they take steps
To step on my self esteem and trample my pride
And now my esteem is lower than my dignity
Am familiar with it all so its ok
Am familiar with the constant breaking of my soul and spirit
Anytime they befriend me only to use me
I know they will use me but I let them anyway
Because am familiar with it all
Am familiar with being treated like a rock
Because no one has shown me how a diamond is treated
Am familiar with the looks of disgust they throw my way
Because I believe I deserve those looks
And when I look in a mirror
I cant help but be disgusted with me too
Am familiar with peoples backs
Because am used to people walking away from me
That I have forgotten how it feels to be familiar with new faces
But its ok am familiar with it all
Am familiar with the ache on my cheek after a slap
After I fail to please people around me
Am familiar with the insults following after
Am familiar to giving up
I have been doing it for years now
Am familiar with hate
Because I have hated myself ever since I knew the meaning
Am familiar with giving selflessly and never receiving
Because who's there to give me anything anyway
Am familiar with it all so its ok
Am familiar with the dead girl
Who always looks back at me in the mirror
Am familiar with her lifeless eyes
Her fake smile that never reaches her eyes
Familiar with the pain I see through the windows of her soul
Am familiar because am her
And she's I
Am familiar with wanting to end it all
With the want to take my life and embrace darkness
Am very familiar with hope
Hope someone will care
That I should hope a little longer
Am also familiar with the question
What will happen when I give up hoping?
But am familiar always have been always will be.
- poetry by Joyce Tshibasu
Oct 26, 2018
Oct 26, 2018 at 6:52 AM UTC
Been locked up
A prisoner
In that other prison
That prison I built
All on my own
Prison found on my island of mysoul
The tall walls around it made of self-doubt
The cells made out of low self-esteem
My cuffs made of self-loathing
My uniform made of depression
A material am now comfortable in
No one is my warden
Am my own jailer
There are no other prisoners
But I have hate, anxiety and pain
For company daily
This other prison serves
Guilt, mistrust with a sprinkle of loneliness
For breakfast
For lunch, we are served a plate of body shaming
And for dinner self negative criticism
And a midnight snack of insomnia
I sentenced myself
To life in this other prison
Though I walk around as a “free woman”
I am a walking prison
I could leave anytime
Its not that I don’t want to
Its that being here is easier
And I have grown comfortable
Now I cant get out
Of this other prison
Yes its lonely
No one visits or calls
The only letters I receive
Are from me to me
To remind myself
Why am imprisoned
And why I should never leave
My prison of guilt
My own custom made Alcatraz
My crime?
I listened to people
I trusted, I believed
And worse I loved
And was never loved back
Am suffocating
I want freedom, I want out
But cant seem to leave
This prison in my heart
- Joyce Tshibasu
Nov 3, 2018
Nov 3, 2018 at 12:56 PM UTC