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Eve Stumpges Jun 2018
Blood is red,
Bruises are blue.
Air is my lifeline,
And so
are you.
Just so we all know I am not currently in an abusive relationship thankfully :)
N Dec 2017
People always say that relationships are hard,
but they are not supposed to feel exhausted.
It shouldn't be so self consuming and agonizing.
You put me through this emotionally draining cycle almost every day.
It goes like this:

you get provoked and infuriated,
I push to defend myself,
you argue then neglect me,
I feel at fault and withdrawal myself,
you manipulate and guilt trip me,
I apologize,
you are apologetic yet unlawfully canny,
I build you back up.

After the cycle,
You are left feeling complete yet
I am left with an ample void.
After the cycle,
your integrity, contentment, and overall mind set,
are surely enhanced and amplified
I am left with an everlasting void
that expands through every small dispute

you guilt trip me after every single fight,
saying you aren't worthy of me,
that you aren't good enough.
I can't let you think that,
so I fix your thoughts.
It's so tiring.

I'm trapped.

I care about you, so how could I leave.
But even if i wanted to, I couldn't
there are barriers.

your friends would hate me,
your sister would dislike me.
your bestfriend yet also my bestfriend, would leave me.

I cant risk these things.

I feel trapped.

But i love you,
so its okay.

right?
jane taylor May 2016
the only way out
is within

©2016janetaylor
Shadow Puppet Aug 2018
My toxic mind is my escape
These days,
I confuse pain for anger

Anger for pain

I invest, but never earn
I ask myself: will I learn?
I already know.

My hopes turn to dust,
When death whispers no.
I wish... I become optomistic...
I tell myself don't.

Sometimes I feel as though I want to live
I can not hold on,
When there is no rope.

I have fallen down the wishing well...
I have fallen in a hole.

Vitriolics follow me and I,
Can not see my life through a bigger scope.

I look at all the stars and know
I am the daughter of the sun itself
I am not the center just the product
Of perfect hell.

I ask myself: will I always be afraid?

I look through my clear tears
They burn my eyes
I forgot about the oil & salt.

Soap could clean it up.
Yet I wonder, who cleans the soap when it is filth?

I want the dirt to disappear
I want to swipe away the dust
I want to rid myself of disgust,
For whatever I broke inside, me.

How can I forgive when you're the reason I do not want to live?

I have been dying

I would give in
I would crumple
At this point I am not even sure how,

I wallow and swallow down my pain.
I drain myself of all mistakes.
I still drown.

Right when I am on the brink of peace
My mind reminds me:
There is nothing I can do to escape
I am still in myself, at the end of the day.
Written: 8.28.18

Everything that allows me to be free and to imagine holds me captive. Everything that was pure is still my mind, just coated in black ink. I am myself but I am unclean. My inner self is my only purity. And even she was ****** away in a tornado.
Amanda Nov 2018
Wish I could do something right
So words would ring true
Wish I met high expectations
Maybe then I could lose a few

I wish I was not weighted with
Weakness well within my core
If only I was put together differently
Strength would emit from every pore

I create my shortcomings
How am I sabotaging my own goal?
Not trying in the first place
Allowing fear to take control

My heart bleeds in anticipation
Before cuts have a chance to appear
Live my life in apprehension
Assuming danger to always be near

My motionless state of insecurity
Realm of dysfunctional doubt
I forever am encapsulated in time
My skull is a jail and I cannot get out
Not so proud of this one but eh.. here it is anyway

Written 8/25/18
Payton Elizabeth Apr 2016
"I'm fine"
I'm dying
"I'm just tired"
I'm sick of arguing  
Ash Jul 2015
They say there's no such thing as;
time travel,
Yet gazing into your sullen aged eyes,
I see the pain this world has caused you,
the memories you wish you could erase,
I see the glint in your eyes past adventures have left you,
As if I was reading a bittersweet;
mystery novel,
Or watching a replay of your life,
Though your eyes are pools of;
chocolate and locked up secrets,
I can almost feel the bruises and;
aches this world has left you,
Your eyes are an abyss of secrets,
I've been ****** in to your  alluring;
past,
Lost in the small world in your eyes,
Ive found its too hard to come back
Sincerely Em Nov 2016
Can I skip ahead in line, please?

Surely You can see ..

Plans haven't been going as planned
I've been roaming endlessly  

I need not to say my goodbyes
They've waived me that dance, You see -

I tried jumping out of Earth last time
But I just fell back into the seas

It's like swimming in oceanic galaxies
Suffocating on infinite catastrophes

Just as my head reaches the surface
The heavens collapse over me

They say I know nothing of my tears -
Nor of the world I sense or feel

So they caged me deep within their ribs, You see -
They claim it is safer in here ..

My breaths are only fading, inside
My eyes have not the strength to seek -
The light on the other side of their flesh -
Of their flesh in which they buried me

So I have been roaming endlessly ..

Wounded. Lost. Cannot breathe ..
Befriended by tears. Blinded. I know not of sleep

I see souls in a queue not ready to leave;
They have exhales from inhales yet to be breathed

But I'm just an ink-less broken feather
Over papers I weep
I cannot write down my sorrows
But I'm sure, You can see ..

I'm ready to die oh Lord!

Can I skip ahead in line, please?
Sincerely, Em
Destiny C Dec 2016
Trapped inside a box.
Everywhere I look,
I see confined emptiness.
My limbs are yearning for a moment's stretch.
Trapped inside a box.
My arms are rendered useless,
as they lay squeezed against my sides.
My neck is straining in it's cramped position.
Trapped inside a box.
I cannot breathe,
my heart pounds against my chest hoping for freedom,
How can one be trapped inside of a small box, when their body is in the midst of a wide open plain?
Anxiety.
It is a box.
A box that cripples rationality ,
trapping you.
Nikki No Love Jul 2018
Within the shadow of a false icon,
Which hangs over me like fallen titans,
The ones who in the darkness of ignorance wore capes and flew,
But now wear maniacal grins and snarl to.
The same person who used to make you want to say live,
Now only force you to to spell it backwards and with yourself become more combative.

He says he misses me,
But that would make three,
Me, mom and The Monster,
He says "straighten your postue"
I miss the days I could look past your hypocrisies,
Back when I could look at your  and think "these are the right policies "
In my time of need,
You can't seem to see,
Your voice make me bleed,
You're whose killing me

To be stuck in a house, but not a home,
Trapped inside not a shrine, but a tomb,
Imprisoned by the voice that used to be that of ideology and hope,
Which is now the voice of the hate that hangs me like a rope,
The voice that tears my mind in two,
One side screaming "you are wrong," and I should be rejecting you,
The other side creeping and deafaningly whispers I am the infection, adieu.
This is a poem about my dad..I know a lot of people feel like this..hope it helps someone. Also I think this is my longest poem yet.
Deepali Apr 19
The trapped soul

Don't you think we all are being trapped? .
In... In a schedule
A schedule which is not being made by our own self,
But is a contribution of all,
Alllllllll the human beings?

Come out from it,
Creative humans;
******* your imagination,
Observe the elements your eyes are seeing which is eleminated by diversions.

Fix and mix your mind,
Bring the capturing out from focal of your eyes.

Illness, nausea, emotions let it all goo,
Know you soul.

The trapped soul.
Nicole Ashley Feb 2015
I am blue
I am black and white altogether
I can tell today is not my day
Not my day
Not even with you
Not my day
I feel trapped like an insect
Under and inside a glass cup
I am the insect and cup altogether
Transparent but unseen
From the inside
No one can hear me
I'd rather that so
I'd rather them not hear me
All the white noise
Clicked off from the world
I shut down
I'm under and inside the cup
Squirming yet staying still
Never moving evermore
I am blue
I am black and **white altogether
I can tell you this
Today is not my day
Even as I write these words
Not my day
The world's noise was clicked off
As I was put under and inside this cup
Not my day
I hate being in and under
Bug in a cup
Not my day....
I wish to share with you
The patterns of destructive thoughts—
The ones that consume my mind
And contaminate my soul

I’d hoped it was time
FINALLY
I so badly need them to be free

I refrain
And keep them locked away
Trapped within the walls
I have so carefully built

And unfortunately
They shall remain put—
For you are not
Who I thought you were
Jessica LeVario Nov 2018
Suffocating, drowning,
Adrift in the maze of my mind,
Each twist and turn taking me deeper into the darkness.
Lost. Stuck.
Twisting, sinking weight in my chest.
Falling
        Down,
               Down,
No escape.
Sickness. Disgust.
Thoughts running rampant,
    Don't know what to do.
Trapped in the maze of my mind.

~ j.l.
Neroxes Zephyrus Nov 2018
I am a shadow,
a shadow of myself,
a shadow stalking the dark.  
Pulled into the void,
from the things I saw,
And the things I heard.

I am a shadow trapped within my mind,
a shadow trapped within itself.
A prisoned soul,
a broken mind,
an empty shell.
A wish to be whole,
but shattering into pieces.

People around me,
walk past without noticing me,
without noticing the burden I bear that tore myself apart.
No one sees the mask I wore,
no one notices the shadow trapped within,
no one cares,
no one really knows who I am.

Words,
pierces through me,
trying to hurt me.
Too much experience,
I am numb.
The rope, the rope
Is it my salvation,
The way to freedom?
To free myself from expectation,
Take away my burden,
Shatter the mask I cannot take off?
It won't hurt anymore, right?
After all,
No one will notice if I disappeared.
They don't care.

Things are so much clearer,
So much brighter,
So vibrant,
I’m soaring through the sky,
I’m free.
I can’t move
my legs are pinned to my body
squeezing against my chest
my arms restrain to my sides
my hands pressing against my flesh
my eyes wide but i see nothing
the four walls of this confined prison
pinches my skin
and pushes my head into my knees
my breath is heavy
Panting i can’t breathe  
I choke on my own thoughts
my own breath
my heart pounds in my eardrums
I long to stretch my legs
and run far, far away
from this hell I have to call home
i have no room to run
Amanda May 2018
Why do I find myself alone and trapped
By the four walls around my mind?
I search for some way to scale them
A rope or ladder I never find.

I did not choose to be in this desperate place
Here where my darkest thoughts are kept
The deepest corners are a lair to pain
Dusty crevices long since swept.

Amongst undisturbed sticky cobwebs
Lies a part of me coated in dust
The tortured memories of nightmares past
Don't want to uncover, know deep down I must.

This house built to harbor hatred and hurt
Changed from a home to a prison cell
Halls that used to be a welcome escape
Have instead transformed into an exitless hell.
My mind is a home I'm trapped in,
and it's lonely inside this mansion.
-NF
Anyone Jul 2018
The scars on your arms
Form the box of my jail cell.
I'm serving a pseudo-voluntary,
Compulsory sentence for someone
Else's hell.

I guess I chose this fate
Despite it being ****** in front of me.
But the illusion of free will
Is a broken façade of
Immaturity.

I suppose I do like you,
But be with you? I don't know.
Your unblamable desire for
Love and affection is something
I can't show.

Because while your world may be Torture, mine isn't heaven either.
With heart flutters,
Stomach aches,
And leaving class for breathers.

The help that I can give,
Is reaching its end.
And whisperings
Tell me to leave,
From nefarious, bitter friends.

Yet when I entertain departure,
The only things that I'm left with are

My thoughts in the shower,
My tears joining the water,
And I remember looking in the mirror
Trying to figure out where I am.
From an ex's perspective on me.
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