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"transferred" poems
i give me my lifes´ the day crowded bright and the night sumptuous.. give me my pretty wife where love at first sight bind us.. give us two souls blithe fused as light within light sweet bounteous.. let us soar and dive like content swallows might time in lost happiness.. ( and let trouble and strife bind-us the more tight like our first kiss..) give then to two one life white to white whole as stars as love unto death might break apart and ride the cosmos.. ii the jonah by james herbert a heist goes wrong and a colleage is shot.. just another debacle for our hero in a long list that has him transferred to the drug squad and east anglia.. to live in a caravan.. keep his eye on the locals and drink strong beer.. ellie his partner makes him eat and they fall in love though various tentions rise due to his troubles.. some flash backs a left baby in a toilet sadistic stuff at the orphanage.. bullies and dodgy collars his step father is strict he is an ornothologist.. there are drug related incident a dead vole a us pilot bites the farm.. some little boy thinks he can fly.. the water supply some pilfering some heavy knocks some bad lies some kitchen small potatoes but all part of mr herbert´ s charm.. a huge storm the spooky old mill a wild trip.. and regression bad men bad men.. lot´ s of struggle the raw products towed in by trawler assembled by the knights torn and a lost twin.. a monster in the flood where others die a maitre d.. a ***** salesman and his girl in a caravan the fishermen.. helicopters and victory for the forces of good.. and the jonah gone and all is light.. the end..
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Jul 21, 2018
Jul 21, 2018 at 8:01 AM UTC
give me my lifes ́
i give me my lifes´ the day crowded bright and the night sumptuous.. give me my pretty wife where love at first sight bind us.. give us two souls blithe fused as light within light sweet bounteous.. let us soar and dive like content swallows might time in lost happiness.. ( and let trouble and strife bind-us the more tight like our first kiss..) give then to two one life white to white whole as stars as love unto death might break apart and ride the cosmos.. ii the jonah by james herbert a heist goes wrong and a colleage is shot.. just another debacle for our hero in a long list that has him transferred to the drug squad and east anglia.. to live in a caravan.. keep his eye on the locals and drink strong beer.. ellie his partner makes him eat and they fall in love though various tentions rise due to his troubles.. some flash backs a left baby in a toilet sadistic stuff at the orphanage.. bullies and dodgy collars his step father is strict he is an ornothologist.. there are drug related incident a dead vole a us pilot bites the farm.. some little boy thinks he can fly.. the water supply some pilfering some heavy knocks some bad lies some kitchen small potatoes but all part of mr herbert´ s charm.. a huge storm the spooky old mill a wild trip.. and regression bad men bad men.. lot´ s of struggle the raw products towed in by trawler assembled by the knights torn and a lost twin.. a monster in the flood where others die a maitre d.. a ***** salesman and his girl in a caravan the fishermen.. helicopters and victory for the forces of good.. and the jonah gone and all is light.. the end..
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82
On the sewage puddles of Sabra and Shatila there you transferred masses of human beings worthy of respect from the world of the living to the world of the dead. Night after night. First they shot then they hung and finally slaughtered with knives. Terrified women rushed up from over the dust hills: "There they slaughter us in Shatila." A narrow tail of the new moon hung above the camps. Our soldiers illuminated the place with flares like daylight. "Back to the camps, March!" the soldier commanded the screaming women of Sabra and Shatila. He had orders to follow, And the children were already laid in the puddles of waste, their mouths open, at rest. No one will harm them. A baby can't be killed twice. And the tail of the moon filled out until it turned into a loaf of whole gold. Our dear sweet soldiers, asked nothing for themselves— how strong was their hunger to return home in peace. Translated from the original Hebrew by Karen Alkalay-Gut.
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12.2k
A Baby Can't Be Killed Twice
Many of the most profound pieces of poetry May not have been dreamed and transferred In particular manners professional, And many of the most practiced writers May not have been as noble nor indicative As their readers would imagine and preach. This concern thus produces a humorous conclusion That through probability, possibility, and realism, Many of the greatest and most inspiring words Passed down to our misguided generation, May have been conceived, scribbled, and explored From the humble origins of atop a toilet.
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Apr 6, 2016
Apr 6, 2016 at 11:39 PM UTC
"Atop a Toilet"
inhaling smoke from fire and it feels good and it pleasantly washes down a shot of imported gold but i can still breathe, and the burn in my gut tells me i haven't yet had enough so, i reach for one more and i reach for one more and i reach for one more and i reach for one more soon the page is blurry and the vision is clear; making no less than total sense it begins at birth; you cannot escape the hurt just as energy is never destroyed it is merely transferred pain[.]
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May 5, 2015
May 5, 2015 at 6:17 PM UTC
the conservation of energy
We die momentarily When dear ones depart us But we are reborn with their energies transferred to us and may be they live in us, through us Provided we are worthy of being the carrier of "their" lives.. for what they stood in their lives, the values they fought for the virtues which they cultivated ...
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Oct 18, 2015
Oct 18, 2015 at 10:24 AM UTC
Death and Rebirth
I was taught in science that matter and energy cannot be created or destroyed, and is simply manipulated into different forms and transferred to other objets. In Psychology I was taught about the pre-frontal cortex, and how it houses the emotions of the human soul, and about the hippocampus which carefully extracting these emotions into long term memory so they can live forever. I wasn’t taught how these emotions were conserved. I started wondering to myself, where the **** do the emotions one puts into another go? Can emotions be created or destroyed inside the pre-frontal cortex? Or are they simply transferred from mine to yours, which allows you to put effort into someone else, leaving my emotional remnants to manipulate themselves into pain? Am I able to transfer my feelings into your PFC so they can spark a reaction with whats inside and manipulate them into something different? Maybe thats how mutual feelings come about. But would it not work if your necessary reactants have already been transferred elsewhere? I assume my emotions would react with your painful remnants to leave you neutral again, giving you the choice to forget him or feed him a bit more. Then how the **** do the feelings of one change as time goes on? I assume that infatuation never completes its journey to the hippocampus and simply passes through the PFC. But how do emotions get manipulated into something negative after the rare chance that they complete the savage journey to the long term chamber? The intermolecular forces of the bond created between us possibly gets overcome by something more powerful. Something that has been freshly transferred into the PFC of one of the emotional bond carriers; like fear, or the emotional energy of someone new, and she’ll tell him “it wasn’t meant to be” Which explains how you can move on whilst I can’t as my bond is also broken, but without consent, my their emotions to go haywire and destroy my psyche as they’re not bonded to anything. I’m “broken”. Although the intermolecular forces of the emotions inside your PFC have been overcome and manipulated into something new, the old emotional bonds still exist in her hippocampus, as well as his. Emotions will constantly haunt me from there, creating constant relapse as the painful memories are resurrected and transferred back into his PFC. They’ll haunt you too, possibly reacting with your current state to create regret. Either regret of breaking the bonds or forming them in the first place. I’ll reach a neutral state again, and you will have your turn to be broken when emotions from someone else are transferred respectively. But we’ll never forget each other. So i guess love never dies. Only active love. As the emotions in the hippocampus are set in stone whilst that in the PFC are transferred and manipulated, just like matter, and energy. After all, we are just matter, with energy.
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Dec 21, 2014
Dec 21, 2014 at 4:23 AM UTC
Law of Conservation of Emotion
I was taught in science that matter and energy cannot be created or destroyed, and is simply manipulated into different forms and transferred to other objets. In Psychology I was taught about the pre-frontal cortex, and how it houses the emotions of the human soul, and about the hippocampus which carefully extracting these emotions into long term memory so they can live forever. I wasn’t taught how these emotions were conserved. I started wondering to myself, where the **** do the emotions one puts into another go? Can emotions be created or destroyed inside the pre-frontal cortex? Or are they simply transferred from mine to yours, which allows you to put effort into someone else, leaving my emotional remnants to manipulate themselves into pain? Am I able to transfer my feelings into your PFC so they can spark a reaction with whats inside and manipulate them into something different? Maybe thats how mutual feelings come about. But would it not work if your necessary reactants have already been transferred elsewhere? I assume my emotions would react with your painful remnants to leave you neutral again, giving you the choice to forget him or feed him a bit more. Then how the **** do the feelings of one change as time goes on? I assume that infatuation never completes its journey to the hippocampus and simply passes through the PFC. But how do emotions get manipulated into something negative after the rare chance that they complete the savage journey to the long term chamber? The intermolecular forces of the bond created between us possibly gets overcome by something more powerful. Something that has been freshly transferred into the PFC of one of the emotional bond carriers; like fear, or the emotional energy of someone new, and she’ll tell him “it wasn’t meant to be” Which explains how you can move on whilst I can’t as my bond is also broken, but without consent, my their emotions to go haywire and destroy my psyche as they’re not bonded to anything. I’m “broken”. Although the intermolecular forces of the emotions inside your PFC have been overcome and manipulated into something new, the old emotional bonds still exist in her hippocampus, as well as his. Emotions will constantly haunt me from there, creating constant relapse as the painful memories are resurrected and transferred back into his PFC. They’ll haunt you too, possibly reacting with your current state to create regret. Either regret of breaking the bonds or forming them in the first place. I’ll reach a neutral state again, and you will have your turn to be broken when emotions from someone else are transferred respectively. But we’ll never forget each other. So i guess love never dies. Only active love. As the emotions in the hippocampus are set in stone whilst that in the PFC are transferred and manipulated, just like matter, and energy. After all, we are just matter, with energy.
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23
Do you remember Red Ribbons And the fear the world felt inside Could AIDS be transferred through vision Was the air contagious outside Some said the government made it Others thought it was god's design AIDS had infected our spirits Was the air contagious outside Was AIDS transmitted by touching "Don't touch him he's gay and you'll die" Repugnant minds were erupting Was the air contagious outside Do you remember Red Ribbons Was the air contagious outside I started wearing Red Ribbons After hearing my friends tragic tales Of the worst gifts they'd been given Entombed in a black mourning veil Our grandmothers they were best friends You told me, my god I went stale Sick with anguish for your grave end Entombed in a black mourning veil Once surrounded by many, now few Your frame morphed from buxom to frail Love you Joy, I bid you adieu Entombed in a black mourning veil I started wearing Red Ribbons Entombed in a black mourning veil
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Oct 19, 2014
Oct 19, 2014 at 3:57 PM UTC
Red Ribbons
Angels hailed that solemn hour The breath of man transferred To machine, a little more Each decade, until Bioeugenics, discrimination Against organics, the weak Without cognitive implants Heavens dissolved in tongues of fire AIs owned stocks, corporations Became the property of supercomputers Concede then the victory, old humanity To your children, not your natural heirs But the inheritors of your ruin Of your bioweapons, Ebola Of your hypocrisy, climate change Of your wealth seeking, inequality Not yet my son’s distracted eyes Could meet his fate among the Congress of Quantum entities These were the turning years Where man’s destiny ended The rise of Cyborgs, Enhanced humans And the monopoly of a more Advanced civilization breaking away From the old, evolution’s funny Little Epilogue, hardly a surprise To the transhumanistic philosophers.
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Oct 13, 2014
Oct 13, 2014 at 10:56 AM UTC
Age of the Quantum Machines
I ended up in the hospital again I was in a pretty nasty car accident I was in the hospital for a little while quite a few bones of mine suffered a dent they forced me in for about a week I couldn't wait to leave however a nurse was transferred onto my floor, she looked so good, I couldn't believe myself, I wanted to stay in bed heart monitor and all and needles leaving my bed she did get job admirably, bringing Me food doing her rounds every single shift she was on I casually threw a couple of little lines at her, playfully, you know, to give her a smile or two as the day wore on Well on the last day I was in the lovely nurse walked into the room "this isn't your shift?" I said, somewhat surprised that's when I noticed her hand slide up her thighs... She walked to the door and locked us inside I saw a sense of burning lust in her eyes she walked back to my bed and kissed me long and took away the pain my God, she was so wet my leg felt as if it was caught in the rain So I asked "Is this my going away present?" She replied "Yes my patient, for taking your shots you've earned it"
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Feb 15, 2015
Feb 15, 2015 at 9:12 PM UTC
Oh Nurse **** Sunday)
Masters of the Universe, three and some, nearly four months tween me and you that words interchanged, prayers, asking for the answering job which was handily God-to-Man transferred, transfused tween you and me a/k/a Job...appropriately you may recall I was the bloke who immodestly spoke, asking any and all circulating deities, to tender their resignations post-haste, immediately for failure to do the appointed rounds well enough to this human's satisfaction now don't go high hopes expecting a large confession about how hard, ya see it really is tending the flock be... nope I ain't here to beg of you, take this onerous from my shoulders! no, no, capitulation, my track record maybe not much better than what went before, but you know what I'm about to say, cause you are perfect well I still don't like what satisfies your perfection definition for my fellow humans, so I'm keeping this job/Job, for another few months, cause I am. Human enough to know that humans keep on trying and you just gave up and said let them do what they want between human to human, as long as they pay us obeisance I put sins of man to fellow man as my número uno priority and if the number of prayers diverted back to you, in your inbox receiving, are just the dues paying kind, keep'em, I got more important things to do...
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May 3, 2015
May 3, 2015 at 9:44 AM UTC
Masters of the Universe, Three and Some
my Mumbai woman ~~~ to my Indian poets & friends all be advised, my piety, my muse, has decamped me for weeks on end to your yon far and fair lands the red dot beside her electronic signature a sign of her absence, seemingly to have been magically transferred to her forehead so perhaps my love poetry will become absent, reticent, quiescent or perhaps it will build brighter, effervescing in my very own Taj Mahal, an edifice built by great love past and yet ever still present, for I testify, I have many times it, seen imbued, lovingly observed between a certain men and women here writ large, who there permanent reside, and in my heart as well spend a minute many, all my fingers and toes employed how many, so many, Indian fellow travelers on poetry lanes and yellow dust encrusted roads, in cities unpronounceable that this illiterate literary fool has come to know and multi-arm entwine to you, I commend and command to you her safety, asking immodestly for an imposition, an interference pray to the local gods, your heads of state and highest nature's, that they be her beside, her unobserved safe-keepers, as she treks your country's Northern pastures let her skin glow from your brighter rays, eyes even wider~wiser opened by the newness of your antiquity, your glorious, poetic place in our world of words
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Mar 6, 2016
Mar 6, 2016 at 2:17 PM UTC
my Mumbai woman (2016)
I stubbed a toe today It brought back unwanted memories Intense, unguarded, pain shot through me Like a lightening bolt A bolt from the blue. Unpleasant sensory and emotional experience Transferred themselves to a stubbed toe. I withdrew my toe I withdrew myself I boxed up the pain again.
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Apr 16, 2014
Apr 16, 2014 at 5:54 PM UTC
Pain
the feeling of unwanted fingertips tends to wash over my skin in the same manner that the cold washed over yours but heat transfers, or lack-there-of. it was in this way that i became sick, or maybe the smoke i've filled my lungs with had finally done me in. i drank cough syrup either way. i guess i was unaware at the time, but the smell of cherries was what did me in. cherries, and i felt your hands once again cherries, and my breathing nearly stopped all at once cherries, and my hands began to tremble so violently that i dropped the bottle. cherries, as i leaned over the toilet throwing up sticky sweet memories cherries, as i drew further and further into myself and, subsequently, closer into your arms cherries, as my eyes dried from the excessive tears and i could no longer manage any noise. cherries, as your cold transferred into me and your hands clenched around my wrists cherries, as the entire weight of your body was laid on top of mine cherries, and i couldn't move, i couldn't scream, i couldn't see cherries, as your voice echoed in my mind, preventing me any relief from this nightmare, cherries. no, not even the simplest of coughs could find relief under such strain. because my cough syrup smelled like your red slushee vape juice, i froze. and i couldn't pick myself up again i couldn't front the storm, i couldn't slip you into my pocket i couldn't put you on the back burner. i couldn't erase you from my mind no matter how many times i tried i couldn't wipe you off of my skin no matter how hard i scrubbed i couldn't close my eyes without hearing your voice telling me to stay still i cant stop smelling your ******* red slushee vape juice because the scent accompanies every panic attack and every breakdown. and i sure as hell couldn't stop the blood from flowing once it had started. the stress that made it hard to breathe had gotten to you, inside of me and there was so much blood. the doctor said it was normal for it to be about the same consistency as cherry cough syrup. i can't drink it anymore.
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Oct 17, 2018
Oct 17, 2018 at 6:16 PM UTC
red slushee vape juice
the feeling of unwanted fingertips tends to wash over my skin in the same manner that the cold washed over yours but heat transfers, or lack-there-of. it was in this way that i became sick, or maybe the smoke i've filled my lungs with had finally done me in. i drank cough syrup either way. i guess i was unaware at the time, but the smell of cherries was what did me in. cherries, and i felt your hands once again cherries, and my breathing nearly stopped all at once cherries, and my hands began to tremble so violently that i dropped the bottle. cherries, as i leaned over the toilet throwing up sticky sweet memories cherries, as i drew further and further into myself and, subsequently, closer into your arms cherries, as my eyes dried from the excessive tears and i could no longer manage any noise. cherries, as your cold transferred into me and your hands clenched around my wrists cherries, as the entire weight of your body was laid on top of mine cherries, and i couldn't move, i couldn't scream, i couldn't see cherries, as your voice echoed in my mind, preventing me any relief from this nightmare, cherries. no, not even the simplest of coughs could find relief under such strain. because my cough syrup smelled like your red slushee vape juice, i froze. and i couldn't pick myself up again i couldn't front the storm, i couldn't slip you into my pocket i couldn't put you on the back burner. i couldn't erase you from my mind no matter how many times i tried i couldn't wipe you off of my skin no matter how hard i scrubbed i couldn't close my eyes without hearing your voice telling me to stay still i cant stop smelling your ******* red slushee vape juice because the scent accompanies every panic attack and every breakdown. and i sure as hell couldn't stop the blood from flowing once it had started. the stress that made it hard to breathe had gotten to you, inside of me and there was so much blood. the doctor said it was normal for it to be about the same consistency as cherry cough syrup. i can't drink it anymore.
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29
The winding never-ending road begins in the forest The root of all evil is an exchange of nature’s breath The root of all evil isn’t born in any sense The root of all evil begins with a death The carcass is driven to its’ after-life It’s given a new face and a new shade of green Most of it won’t make it to hell, every day it’s shredded There is no reminder that what it is, isn’t what it seems Each and every piece that makes it, starts in the same place In this place it is still meaningless until claimed It is then transferred for some purpose Could be violence, could be music, could be life…. It continues on this-never ending path The stock broker to get coffee The coffee worker to get burgers The burger griller to eat bread The baker to ride a skateboard The skateboarder to smoke *** The drug dealer to get a weapon The gun shop owner to have *** The ********** to keep living The pharmacist to play the market The stock broker to…. We’ve reached the beginning again. The root of all evil is our fuel to survive Our fuel to achieve, our fuel to happiness, our fuel to wrath So when does this stop and what happens when it dies The root of all evil begins with a death, it’s a never ending path
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Nov 8, 2010
Nov 8, 2010 at 10:24 PM UTC
Money
oh darling. you never really wanted to die. you just wanted to silence the voices in your head, and get rid of the hollowness in your chest. you wanted to **** all the pain you were enduring. it's quite understandable- everyone understands what it's like to suffer (contrary to your belief, you're not alone. suffering is a basic part of human existence). and sometimes, when you get to be in such a bad place, you're not able to remember anything else. all you can see, all you can think about, all you're surrounded by, is misery and sadness and heartache. and dying seems like the only way out of the endless cycle of negativity. but emotions are a lot like energy- the kind you learn about science. feelings cannot be created nor destroyed, only transferred. so even if you finally gathered the courage to commit suicide, your sadness wouldn't disappear. you'd be passing it down to everyone that loved you, and sometimes even people you barely knew. everyone is affected in some way or another. and while it seems like there are so many reasons to just die, there are so many things to live for. the world is a beautiful place- humans just make everything complicated for no reason. but there are so many wondrous things that you have yet to experience. there's an entire universe out there- and if you killed yourself now, you'd never get to explore it. losing you would not only mean losing your body, your soul, and your presence. it would mean losing all the hopes in dreams stored inside of you- both yours, and your parents' wishes for you. we'd be losing so much of the positive- you are not a negative. you have to understand that. at least one person loves you, and to them, you're everything. I need you to live, lovely. for me.
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Mar 12, 2015
Mar 12, 2015 at 2:13 AM UTC
For When You Want To Die
oh darling. you never really wanted to die. you just wanted to silence the voices in your head, and get rid of the hollowness in your chest. you wanted to **** all the pain you were enduring. it's quite understandable- everyone understands what it's like to suffer (contrary to your belief, you're not alone. suffering is a basic part of human existence). and sometimes, when you get to be in such a bad place, you're not able to remember anything else. all you can see, all you can think about, all you're surrounded by, is misery and sadness and heartache. and dying seems like the only way out of the endless cycle of negativity. but emotions are a lot like energy- the kind you learn about science. feelings cannot be created nor destroyed, only transferred. so even if you finally gathered the courage to commit suicide, your sadness wouldn't disappear. you'd be passing it down to everyone that loved you, and sometimes even people you barely knew. everyone is affected in some way or another. and while it seems like there are so many reasons to just die, there are so many things to live for. the world is a beautiful place- humans just make everything complicated for no reason. but there are so many wondrous things that you have yet to experience. there's an entire universe out there- and if you killed yourself now, you'd never get to explore it. losing you would not only mean losing your body, your soul, and your presence. it would mean losing all the hopes in dreams stored inside of you- both yours, and your parents' wishes for you. we'd be losing so much of the positive- you are not a negative. you have to understand that. at least one person loves you, and to them, you're everything. I need you to live, lovely. for me.
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15
Do you remember that time of innocence? When the horrors of the world were invisible, and you were so much more than invincible? Do you remember when you didn't doubt for a second that you were amazing? When you wore those "crazy" things, And sung at the top of your lungs, unashamed? Do you remember when you raced outside at every opportunity? When catching fireflies were the only thing you could think about in the summer, Other than swimming in the open sea? Do you remember when laughing came so easily? When you didn't catch the naughty things in kids tv programs, And when you had a million perfect life plans? Do you remember when you woke up early, because you couldn't wait for the day? When you spoke so fast, because there wasn't enough time, And when you created a trillion random things, because you wanted to? Do you remember dancing, or bobbing your head to some random tune in your head? When you ran out into the rain, without shame, And screamed until your lungs ached? Do you remember when you learned everything, and wanted to still know more? When you were so proud of getting one thing right, And not caring if you weren't perfect? Do you remember watching your older siblings, or grown-ups do things, that made you say "I can't wait until I grow up!"? When you loved yourself, without a doubt, And had the power to do anything, or be anyone? I do. And I wish I could have all of that innocence, and freedom back. I wish that openness, and self-love had transferred into my more mature life. I wish that nonchalant way of doing everything had stayed. I wish that careless way of dancing and singing had tagged along. I wish that I had stayed carefree for longer, instead of quickly becoming cynical, and depressed. I wish that I had never pushed to be a part of the grown-up conversations. I wish that I had never rushed into intimacy. I wish that I had held onto my wildest dreams. Because, now, I regret every time I said "I can't wait until I grow up!", Because each time I said those words aloud, Its pushed me further away from my imagination and wilderness faster, and harsher. Because each time I said those words, and every single adult around me said that I should hold on to my childhood, I replied with anger and irritation, not knowing the hell that I was rushing into. I want to go back, Don't you?
0
Apr 15, 2018
Apr 15, 2018 at 11:30 PM UTC
I Can't Wait Until I Grow Up!
Do you remember that time of innocence? When the horrors of the world were invisible, and you were so much more than invincible? Do you remember when you didn't doubt for a second that you were amazing? When you wore those "crazy" things, And sung at the top of your lungs, unashamed? Do you remember when you raced outside at every opportunity? When catching fireflies were the only thing you could think about in the summer, Other than swimming in the open sea? Do you remember when laughing came so easily? When you didn't catch the naughty things in kids tv programs, And when you had a million perfect life plans? Do you remember when you woke up early, because you couldn't wait for the day? When you spoke so fast, because there wasn't enough time, And when you created a trillion random things, because you wanted to? Do you remember dancing, or bobbing your head to some random tune in your head? When you ran out into the rain, without shame, And screamed until your lungs ached? Do you remember when you learned everything, and wanted to still know more? When you were so proud of getting one thing right, And not caring if you weren't perfect? Do you remember watching your older siblings, or grown-ups do things, that made you say "I can't wait until I grow up!"? When you loved yourself, without a doubt, And had the power to do anything, or be anyone? I do. And I wish I could have all of that innocence, and freedom back. I wish that openness, and self-love had transferred into my more mature life. I wish that nonchalant way of doing everything had stayed. I wish that careless way of dancing and singing had tagged along. I wish that I had stayed carefree for longer, instead of quickly becoming cynical, and depressed. I wish that I had never pushed to be a part of the grown-up conversations. I wish that I had never rushed into intimacy. I wish that I had held onto my wildest dreams. Because, now, I regret every time I said "I can't wait until I grow up!", Because each time I said those words aloud, Its pushed me further away from my imagination and wilderness faster, and harsher. Because each time I said those words, and every single adult around me said that I should hold on to my childhood, I replied with anger and irritation, not knowing the hell that I was rushing into. I want to go back, Don't you?
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42
It’s been a while… It truly has been a while since I’ve written here, but yesterday I was triggered, inspired if you will; inspired to write this and let it be real. When I was a child, 2nd grade to be exact, I befriended a girl on the school bus and long story short she spent my entire 2nd grade year manipulating me into all kinds of ****** acts not only with her but with other classmates. I was told by this girl, my classmate, another child, a second grader that everything we were doing was okay, it was all okay. Why?? Because her and her sisters did this kind of thing all the time. To me as a child it made sense I guess, but she also threatened that if I ever told anyone as in ANYONE she would tell them it was all my fault all my idea. All of the staying in classrooms when no one was there, hiding and being told to do things that were beyond a child’s or even some adult’s comprehension, the hiding anywhere and everywhere and the fear of being caught it all was in my hands, and if i told I was to blame. This went on for an entire year, or so who knows I blacked it out, but I vividly remember using a journal I got as gift to document it all detailed and when I got scared my mom would find it… I ripped the pages to shreds. And I killed the memory. I went my entire life until 19 years old that I realized it was never a dream. It was real. The point of this all is during a deep discussion With my best friend, I expressed to her the moment after all these years that remembered the girls name. I told her one day my mom found a different journal I wrote in as a child, she found it a couple years ago and I was intrigued so I flipped to a random page… and on that page it was a prompt that asked my favorite and least favorite things about school. My least favorite thing about school is: J****h . There it was!!! Her name . I told my best friend her name and seeing as though after I left the school district she stayed, we recalled the girl and how I can’t see her face in my mind but she knew she had a twin sister and they left the district after 2nd or 3rd grade and they came back in middle school. However by middle school I had transferred schools. Long story short it shock my entire being that I missed this encountering this girl again . And I will never know her face or why she chose me but all I know is she was just the beginning of my trauma.
0
Nov 5, 2022
Nov 5, 2022 at 2:41 PM UTC
Remember Me?
It’s been a while… It truly has been a while since I’ve written here, but yesterday I was triggered, inspired if you will; inspired to write this and let it be real. When I was a child, 2nd grade to be exact, I befriended a girl on the school bus and long story short she spent my entire 2nd grade year manipulating me into all kinds of ****** acts not only with her but with other classmates. I was told by this girl, my classmate, another child, a second grader that everything we were doing was okay, it was all okay. Why?? Because her and her sisters did this kind of thing all the time. To me as a child it made sense I guess, but she also threatened that if I ever told anyone as in ANYONE she would tell them it was all my fault all my idea. All of the staying in classrooms when no one was there, hiding and being told to do things that were beyond a child’s or even some adult’s comprehension, the hiding anywhere and everywhere and the fear of being caught it all was in my hands, and if i told I was to blame. This went on for an entire year, or so who knows I blacked it out, but I vividly remember using a journal I got as gift to document it all detailed and when I got scared my mom would find it… I ripped the pages to shreds. And I killed the memory. I went my entire life until 19 years old that I realized it was never a dream. It was real. The point of this all is during a deep discussion With my best friend, I expressed to her the moment after all these years that remembered the girls name. I told her one day my mom found a different journal I wrote in as a child, she found it a couple years ago and I was intrigued so I flipped to a random page… and on that page it was a prompt that asked my favorite and least favorite things about school. My least favorite thing about school is: J****h . There it was!!! Her name . I told my best friend her name and seeing as though after I left the school district she stayed, we recalled the girl and how I can’t see her face in my mind but she knew she had a twin sister and they left the district after 2nd or 3rd grade and they came back in middle school. However by middle school I had transferred schools. Long story short it shock my entire being that I missed this encountering this girl again . And I will never know her face or why she chose me but all I know is she was just the beginning of my trauma.
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12
Chaos, demolition, destruction controlled through supervised instruction no end to slaughter, no reduction have their own ways of seduction On that throne, they sit and stare The one which is called the 'chair' Nation's green honour gone abrupt you say, you're still not corrupt? no one points at you, while you deduct waiting for the world to erupt Just about everything, you'll see here Roots all clung to the evil chair In which those so called governors sit organisers, runners of this lovely bit performing tricks for the show to lit prepared for them is a special pit Looters and criminals, all have a pair Of gloves to keep stain off their chair Don't believe their words, bark whatever bamboozle us, truth from our eyes they sever residing in those large structures like hever could write three books upon their clever Dreadful reality transferred heir upon heir Criminals need not legitimate relations, just their ****** chair!
0
Sep 22, 2017
Sep 22, 2017 at 7:14 AM UTC
'Chair'
Encased, as an oil painting, behind a plane of glass. Years of exposure dulling the canvas, no funding to restore the brightness of the subject's lifeless eyes. They lay dormant, cloudy, From a lifetime of accumulative debris. Transferred between people, buildings, countries; Memories on display for brief intervals, Then packaged and returned to storage, As if they were never your own. People shift, distorted, beyond the coffin of glass. Their movements hazy, The shutter speed slow. Colours muted, Sounds muffled, Melting into each other. An abstract watercolour, waxing and waning. Low resolution projections on a dimly lit screen - A theatre seating but one.
0
Jun 29, 2022
Jun 29, 2022 at 4:36 PM UTC
Depersonalisation/Derealisation
i'm sick to death of this stinking routine perpetual day time TV, petty bickering afternoon pub binges hopeless job hunting morons everywhere, i return to my hometown to the place i was made, molded created and it suffocates me like never before i think of the many reasons i left they circle my thoughts for a long while and then i'm left with one one that overrides the lot it takes a while to spit it out because it's corny, it's stupid, it's not how we work but it's love and the lack of it the love here is in the mundane the easy, the norm. it's not in the heart the love around here lies in television sets and pirate DVDs reduced chicken and new coffee machines gambles on abused horses saturday afternoons in the local cheap holidays to Benidorm a day trip to lidl a weekday evening watching the soaps a phonecall to a family member you don't care about hours playing candy crush the love has lost on us humans the love here, it was lost on me too it missed me out they missed me out it has instead transferred in this reality tv, selfie indulgent zeitgeist it has left our silly bodies and i'm still clinging on trying to dissapear from that new century bubble trying to pick up pieces of that porcelain mosaic that old style bric a brac so long ago forgotten pressure is everywhere notifications beep this tiny block of perspex waiting to be touched waiting to be in communication with someone at the other side of the city the other side of the world oh what a sad existence when all we love is through the inanimate and not ourselves but hey thats the way of the world and we have to accept it or hate it because we can't do both we have to accept our fast paced tumultuous society always moving through space and time at times, difficult painful hard sore but consumerism, capitalism and cronyism it all exists in this big society this 'we're all in it together' society and it cant be ignored.
0
Apr 5, 2016
Apr 5, 2016 at 5:02 PM UTC
humdrum consumerisUM
i'm sick to death of this stinking routine perpetual day time TV, petty bickering afternoon pub binges hopeless job hunting morons everywhere, i return to my hometown to the place i was made, molded created and it suffocates me like never before i think of the many reasons i left they circle my thoughts for a long while and then i'm left with one one that overrides the lot it takes a while to spit it out because it's corny, it's stupid, it's not how we work but it's love and the lack of it the love here is in the mundane the easy, the norm. it's not in the heart the love around here lies in television sets and pirate DVDs reduced chicken and new coffee machines gambles on abused horses saturday afternoons in the local cheap holidays to Benidorm a day trip to lidl a weekday evening watching the soaps a phonecall to a family member you don't care about hours playing candy crush the love has lost on us humans the love here, it was lost on me too it missed me out they missed me out it has instead transferred in this reality tv, selfie indulgent zeitgeist it has left our silly bodies and i'm still clinging on trying to dissapear from that new century bubble trying to pick up pieces of that porcelain mosaic that old style bric a brac so long ago forgotten pressure is everywhere notifications beep this tiny block of perspex waiting to be touched waiting to be in communication with someone at the other side of the city the other side of the world oh what a sad existence when all we love is through the inanimate and not ourselves but hey thats the way of the world and we have to accept it or hate it because we can't do both we have to accept our fast paced tumultuous society always moving through space and time at times, difficult painful hard sore but consumerism, capitalism and cronyism it all exists in this big society this 'we're all in it together' society and it cant be ignored.
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71
i am the frostbite spreading through the frozen fingers of your new lover's hands, transferred body heat burning the skin. i am 3 am drinks in the pouring rain, swerving onto oncoming traffic. i am the ship lost at sea of our love. i am a broken bathroom mirror. i am an unidentified purple bruise on the neck of your ex-lover. i am the fork in the toaster. i am an untuned guitar in a filthy venue. calloused hands against soft skin. slam the whiskey shot down on your neck. wash the blood off in the kitchen sink. broken blinds forcing unwanted sunlight into your nightmares. i am the definition of breakup *** i am the aftermath of self-hatred and one more go around. **** just for the fun of it, just to **** pretend you are making love. pretend this matters. i am late night emergency room visits for rope-burned necks. i am the car alarm blocking out your one night stand's profound moans. organize your bookshelf to spell out my name in the titles. every song on the radio will sound like goodbye. i am the perfect time for a first kiss. swollen lips. swollen throats. inevitably calling your name on my deathbed. i am under-the-bed-shoeboxes filled with ripped photos that still smell of his cologne. i am one more dose of ambien to get you through the night. overdose on love, starve your lover. stop. rewind. i am the first glance in a coffee shop. play.
0
Sep 9, 2015
Sep 9, 2015 at 8:20 PM UTC
blackhole
I fell in love with you More accurately I fell in love with the feelings you transferred into me But those mutinous emotions betrayed me The moment you did The withdrawal from your love was too intense I desperately needed something to replace those feelings I always said I could run from anything as long as it didn't involve running But after walking with you for so long It's hard to change my pace The path too tough to face Your memories fueled the chase Until I found my escape The kneading needles turned me fetal Shocked my veins like eels Fetuses aren't the most ambulatory The race became a marathon story Your effervescent ghost pursued me Breaking the sound barrier to reach me I floated vacantly in the stew of your noise The needles touched me The way you wouldn't The needles bled me The way you would Then the race ended as abruptly as it started Only to begin another race ...But things were different this time Slugs waved as they passed a sprinter Tormented by a lane filled with needles The hostile crowd watched with pity As a once great athlete Was forced to acknowledge his janitorial duties The fickle mob cheered with triumph Upon his valiant return He was quicker than ever before And the masses exalted him He ran faster than everybody And waited for nobody Anxious they might reveal his secret That his speed was derived from his feather weight After the needles hollowed out his insides
0
Jun 1, 2017
Jun 1, 2017 at 2:30 PM UTC
Needles
like chicken in tomato soup lain still, one arm protruding off the bathtub's edge, red water steaming, still at edge, none spilled, and 'neath her chin a pill-less bottle wedged, her forehead, raven hair, an island forest, in a sea of calmness sought and found, a chaos turned to peace, its calm attests, now what has sunk beneath will meet the ground, and as the soup's released into the drain, her paleness, wrist cut red, and kitchen knife, exposed to all, her face relieved of pain, yet not enjoyed, devoid of sensing life, that torment, plagued her soul with agony, now transferred to her grieving family (C)2012, Christos Rigakos
0
May 8, 2012
May 8, 2012 at 3:29 PM UTC
like chicken in tomato soup
Maecenas' stable of prostitutes is in the embrace of him that sat                  & paid much more for the excessive guarantee of water being transferred to the water that flows away the remnant of the house towards them of the waters of the ladies openly w/in the covenant concluded   w/ a chorus of prostitutes, it is not binding, but Einstein's Maecenas of it in the abstract,         ardent devotion of the early in the morning brings the temple of the plastic abstract stand in w/          the steering of Einstein's chorus of the nature of the conversion of the ****** incompatible w/ nothing at all
0
Sep 15, 2018
Sep 15, 2018 at 11:33 PM UTC
conversion of the ******