"tll" poems
2 years ago I wished for death
I breathed in pills like they were oxygen
Between the scars and my wrist and the tension in my bones
Nights were infinitely longer than days
6 months ago I fantasized her sweet kiss
Every thought dedicated to the romance
Every decision dedicated to numbness
3 am daydreams of helium tanks and ******
A month ago I drank myself out of consciousness
Until I was no longer forced awake
By the pulling between my temples
As if a void was in the center of my mind
This week my pillow beckoned to me as a long lost lover
Tonight we caressed each other
Tll I drifted into a blissful slumber
But plagued by mares of the the nights to come
Sep 25, 2015
Sep 25, 2015 at 10:05 PM UTC
I may not be the prettiest girl you know,
The one with the perfect hair and warm smile.
I may not be the most intellectual one,
Who can tell you anything you like.
I almost always don’t dress appropriately,
Sometimes overdone sometimes under.
I don’t always have the right words to say,
And sometimes I surrender,
surrender to love and apathy and hate,
and sometimes i leave things up to fate.
I laugh out loudly,hysterical almost
And Sometimes I leave my room in a mess
And think im being possessed by a ghost.
I cry if I have to and I throw tantrums,
I sometimes hide my feelings ,
To make sure u don’t run,
Run away from me becuase im not that perfect girl,
Who'll always look the right way and do the things you want,
And everytime she speaks i'tll all sound like a song.
So perfect and appropriate that it will steal your heart away,
So much so that it'll give you a reason to stay.
No, im not her and ill never be,
But atleast with you all im being is me.
Mar 15, 2013
Mar 15, 2013 at 1:15 PM UTC
That is correct lad,
A beautiful one too
I will now pull a rabbit out do a hat
Ah ha
I'm going to change all poems forever
Ok
Lklklj
Trust me, it's gonna be like so great an jjj. What?
I'm going to go down in historyS best poet ever
Watson it to ya
You just see tll it'll be great yay
Mar 1, 2015
Mar 1, 2015 at 4:45 PM UTC
nothing beats as strongly fro you
my heart
i look into the sky and i see
beautiful eyes
my love
is like looking into a sewer
and seeing beautiful lovely sewer
instead of bad sewer
i never knew how feel i could
in heart
tll i set eye on you baby
you spin me around
all way
make me so dizzy
the way you do walking
it like
an angel
baby you’re beautiful
so good
i love the way you mow my lawn
sway hips, so ****
you make me crazy baby pie
my beatiful love i kneed you
i write book and fill
with nothing but you baby
baby baby baby
kiss me again
so good
nice
Oct 20, 2015
Oct 20, 2015 at 11:11 PM UTC
what can i feel
but the beating of my own heart
the acheing of my own flesh
the damnation of my own soul and mind
that i go through this pain
this torture
and i can only call it this
life
the memories and tortures i share
the moment i bleed
for the blood drains away
through the deep wounds
the ones i have
my heart is heavy
there's a hand there
squeezing harder and harder
i feel it but am powerless to stop it
tighter, tighter
but the beat doesn't slow
it's torture
agony
the pain i face
i need to lash out
need to cry
want to feel safe
but nowhere is safe
not anymore
i need to run
i can't stay
i don't want to
but i'm forced to
i have to
have to stay in this place
where i'm ******
where i'm condemned
why can't i die
as i write i see this
i'm shaking now
not afraid
but ****** off
i am helpless
i keep losing the battle
i have two wars
one outside
and one inside
both tearing me apart
limb by limb
part by part
piece by piece
'tll there's nothing left
i feel sick
lost
i contemplate my demise
would anyone miss me
i don't know
maybe
those who don't fully know mw
just one thing stoping me
i hate pain
if only i could ask someone
to come **** me quickly
if they'd do it
i'd be ok
knowing
i didn't wouldn't
deal with this
****** up
world anymore
please!!!
anyone???
i'm begging anyone too
to please help
and put me out of my misery
i want out...
no, wait... not want...
no...NEED out...
i'm so cold
i'm alone
completely
utterly
alone...
and i don't know what to do
i want/need to cry,
to let the pain out,
but they won't come
i need to scream
but i can't
i'm not allowed to
i'm just supposed to listen
to be the perfect little slave
to be bossed about
and to do everything perfectly
i'm tired now
hopefully i can fall asleep
and never wake up
so i say good bye
and maybe we'll meet again
someday
Mar 19, 2015
Mar 19, 2015 at 12:45 PM UTC
I go to sleep alone in my empty bed again. If cuddling kills depression then why don't I have someone to cuddle? Everyone says it's cuz I'm not marriage material; hell my mom even told me that. I don't want to sleep alone anymore! I want to cuddle and I want to **** my depression, but sadly I do not see an end to my misery. I'tll always be just being me at night; and the occasional stray that gets to stay the night because I needed to play, never anything permanent and that darkens my heart. I have my children and my parents and everything I could ever want or need except someone to cuddle. My empty arms never being able to wrap around someone, the same someone every day and night. I feel like an empty shell. "You're so beautiful why are you single?", they say. My response is, "I don't know nobody wants to keep me I guess!". I'm meant just to throw away. The luckiest person on the planet and I believe the price I pay for that luck is lack of love. Two men two men have my heart and neither of them want me except for just a **** What is my worth in this life? Where is my joy? Am I doing enough? How can I do more? I just don't even know anymore; the worst part is, I'm starting to not care, I mostly don't care, I think I'm done caring! My heart is just not there!
Jun 10, 2018
Jun 10, 2018 at 1:28 AM UTC
She's Sussed us out now!
The cats out of the bag...
Which makes me upset
And awfully sad.
Caught in a lovers tryst
In a seedy little pub
" very cosy" she sarcastically said.
As we're caught in the act!
We're as guilty as hell..
And that's a fact!
She turns on her her heels
And exits the room
The look on you're face
Is all gloom and doom
I burst into tears
Reliving the scene
Somehow it makes me feel
Somewhat unclean
He puts a reassuring arm around me
And takes my hand
And says..
" l know this isn't quitewhat we'd planned"
" leave her to me"
I'tll be alright"
" I'll sort it"...
Once I get home tonight"!
" well there's no need for you
To leave early now"
He said
" let's have another drink
And go back to you're place"?
" for a nightcap? I think"....
Aug 27, 2017
Aug 27, 2017 at 10:51 AM UTC