I love her but she wants to video "him" i dont know what hes told her or what they have done or talked about. im doing everything to get her love and trust back. she says i have the giggest part of her heart but she still talks to him. it hurts me to see her do anything with him. I hurt her and i regret it amd she was going to go suicidle amd i tried to talk to her to get her back to tthe way she was but she pushed me away from it and he "saved her" i tried and she doesnt see it but it runs through my mind that i have tje biggest part of her heart yet she doesnt want me back (not yet anyway) i just hope that shes going to come back to me soon. if not then **** me i cant imagine life without her in it. i just wish she would get some sense and just ditch him for good hes no good for her and we all try to tell her but she doesnt listen. i hope all she wants is to be friends with him and thats it cause if her heart mostly belongs to me he shouldnt even matter that much. so if she doesnt accept my appoligies and doesnt get back with me just end me cause i be in hell and torment till the day i die all alone.

what happens when you're the sole
male in a supermarket,
filled by females,
cashiers, and the customers...
you walk in, you walk out,
which is not as bad as being intimidated
by nine prostitutes while
you wait your turn..
you walk in, and then you walk out...
with aud lang syne
booming from your ears...
(i kannie **** cry at tje track..
mountains man... just mountains...
i kannie not cry...
or forget that i danced the Kayleigh
without donning the kilt)
o heart o thistle...
o my dear earned hands,
to hand over the land
worth of till and toil...
my own and sole wish...
   that Scotland take my heart
and gives unto it... bloom...
once upon the cobbled stones
of the Royal Mile...
then upon the dawn of day,
upon Arthur's Seat...
for what i am worth,
to have but this sight,
of seeing far an wide...
Edinburgh...
the only city whereby i refused
the ingenuity of the compass...
Firth of Forth...
                however welcome
or unwelcome...
    through to the backstreets of
Dundee...
and behind the history of Glen Cove...
i cry...
because Scotland is the only
"convenience" of home know to me...
a home, that is more...
it's an ideal...
an.... idea...
   England can never be it...
England could never be "it"...
England was merely
the handing over of Hong Kong under
Blaire...
it was the Labor government...
the late 90s...
              but Scotland was
so much more... and will forever
be more than just much more...
had the heart eyes,
it would see this thistle baron
as for what i see it as...
as i leave it, as i've left all prior
palaces of my habitation...
always the fonder memory,
than a fond-of experience
among the living...
  may the dead serve the same exacting
justice upon me,
as i, among the living,
revive them... back t life,
and the knife of mortality's
burdens...
and us do our part,
to part,
with a hope of once more,
congregating, in either a heaven,
or a hell.

the sun is struggling to meet
it's commitments this morn
and sits low on the mountain tops
smudging the sky pink and
charcoalred as it climbs wearily into the clouded sky

in reality, nothing much wants to get out of bed
the rooster only gave
a half- hearyed crow
the kookaburra's just chuckled and then went back to bed

as for you and me still here
away from home
we snuggle down into tje warmth and take comfort
in the childfree zone..

it is too cold to do anything other...
until the sun gets it's act
together
it's snooze time ,
thanks to
the ****** cold, mountain
weather...

I felt the blade cutting
Tje mirrors eye,
She was cold like a fevers
Body,
Brazen when she held the
Life of me,
Lettimg go at the precipice
And falling into the extreme
Suddeness of who she
Became,
A razor cutting life from me,
Piecing me back together.

Such an immortal wound
To the momentary quiver.

Saddness creeps
Into my brain

My uneasy heart
Tuggs at the strings
My mind has been warpped
Under other peoples. Views and opinions
My broken view of the world is unclear
Im a mistake
Im a burden
Im just a waste of time
Those words have.been etched
Into my thoughts

Cuz over and over my mother.
My grandmother
My demons
Do curse me
beat me down
Make me believe the words
And i have becomem a wasted life
Now i believe
Im not important
Not worth tje effort
Others are better
If they stay far away
From me
So i don't( ruin anymore peoples lives)
Im a failure
Im a **** up
A. Ctazy freak
Im ruined my life
And i hate myself
Because all i ever wanted was to be the best mom i could be
n i failed i ******
Up. I ruuined it so bad
I miss my kids so much ot hurts but they are mostly better without me around
Everything i touch becomes tainted

Doesn't wanna give a ****
Doesn't think about tje context
enough
Doesn't fill your mug
When the pace wanes

Were shucking to make a budget
We can live on
Or move on, to a new landscape
And hideaway until
Our minds are changed

Never to weather
Never to erode
Doesn't wanna trail off
Reaching for unwelcome homes

Doesn't wanna appear shakey
But works the twitching
Anyway
Fit it in a box
To keep on display
Always

🌹🌹🌹
When i told you it was over?
My honey i have lied.
I have been running from my visible shadow.
I am sinking ship that burning.

I'll leave an autograph on my chest.
How i am supposed to love you?
When i cant stand tje man i am.
It does not matter who you meet on the way.

Believe in me.
The heart is the best photographer.
But i don't forget what you felt next to me.
With a feeling in the soul of emptiness.
Teach me to live as you do.

Taught me to be different.
From a fragile ego man.
So as not to feel the pain.
So that i forget about all my worries.
To think of only how adorable and wonderful you are.

Could this be too emotional for you?
I want you to recognize me and love me.

☄☄

If my heart was a candle.
It could have melted long ago.
I will have died from tje agony that i face every day.

You felt like you deserved to prayed and lived on.
You will admire without sorrow in your heart.
You couldn't be satisfied with yourself by another.
You turned too cold for me.

Its seems like a painful silence without you.
Imagining seconds passing by separately within my thoughts.
Smiles couldn't win your heart.
Love couldn't change you.

At times i think of becoming an athlete
So that you can be my race and i can win you over.
Thought of becoming an musician so that the sweet melodies from my singing.
You are in my every thought.

How wonderful you are to be the one who beats outside my aorta.
I was wondering if i can sleep over your heart.
When you smiled in the middle of the kiss.
I knew you were after my heart.

I could love the distance between us.
You should take a step closer to my fragile life.
How can you still find me attractive even though i am not worthy of it?
I fell in love with your soul and mind.
Honey its times less.
It can't run out of time
😊😊😊😊🌹🌹