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"throbs" poems
Oh!  There it is! The blood of my Mothers’ Sins Blossoming on My white sheets Like a bouquet of English roses. A shame - Laundry day had Been yesterday.   My thighs have been painted Rouge - They blush Like my cheeks When my gaze Lingers on my body Too long in the mirror As I put on my Sunday dress. The needles in my Lower back fill my ****** with blood - I am a woman now - And as such I must Wake before the sun And wash my sheets And my body Before anyone has a chance To smell the iron and the shame Between my legs.   I have never been so Acutely aware of my body: My sore ******* feel like Overripe tomatoes ready to burst, My stomach bloated and taking up Space I’m told is not ladylike - My head throbs, my limbs ache, and I continue to shed my insides. How is it I never noticed The cry of my body before? A week of blood Before I have served my sentence For a woman Who dared to disobey - I clean the stains And wash myself Away.
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Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014 at 2:32 AM UTC
************
Warmed by her hand and shadowed by her hair As close she leaned and poured her heart through thee, Whereof the articulate throbs accompany The smooth black stream that makes thy whiteness fair,— Sweet fluttering sheet, even of her breath aware,— Oh let thy silent song disclose to me That soul wherewith her lips and eyes agree Like married music in Love’s answering air. Fain had I watched her when, at some fond thought, Her ***** to the writing closelier press’d, And her ******* secrets peered into her breast; When, through eyes raised an instant, her soul sought My soul, and from the sudden confluence caught The words that made her love the loveliest.
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13k
The Love-Letter
**** it throbs My ***** gets moist. Oh how I wish To get eaten tonight My desire is high my thoughts Array My hopes of pleasure Makes me sway ******* are like fine wine As you start to make me Grind My hips are bucking my back goes arched I start to squirm My *** now explodes My juices now drip down your face You look up at me and say My goddess how I love your taste May I have the honor of pleasuring you in every way Why sure thing my dream guy Oh how I crave your tongue I know you want some Come on do your thing My how I love this game.
0
Mar 16, 2017
Mar 16, 2017 at 8:46 PM UTC
IErotica/orgasm
In the darkest sights My heart throbs like stones crushing on earth, and my spontaneity, flows like water
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Jul 14, 2014
Jul 14, 2014 at 11:52 AM UTC
Desire
Yesterday, my psyche took a beating, Today, I feel like a bruise That is past its angry, blue-black peak And throbs with a dull, distracting ache. Like the aftermath of a storm When the formerly purple clouds lighten But still threaten a final, farewell wetting. That's me, a bruise of many hues Across a canvas of undetermined mood, Turbulent, fierce, bleeding still, Close to the surface, threatening to break.
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Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 10:25 AM UTC
Bruised Mood
I want that waking up at 6 am to make you breakfast kind of love, that my friends think I'm absolutely crazy kind of love the kind of love that is reckless and addicting that I don't care what you look like I just want to stay up all hours to share secrets kind of love that every time I see you my heart throbs kind of love that I see you upset and you don't have to say anything and I already know what to do kind of love that stand next to me because I love you kind of love that "you can have the cup with more coffee" kind of love that you get my heart and the world gets the worst of me kind of love. that you are my everything kind of love.
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Aug 3, 2014
Aug 3, 2014 at 6:40 PM UTC
Relationship Goals.
Often I think of the beautiful town That is seated by the sea; Often in thought go up and down The pleasant streets of that dear old town, And my youth comes back to me. And a verse of a Lapland song Is haunting my memory still: “A boy’s will is the wind’s will, And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.” I can see the shadowy lines of its trees, And catch, in sudden gleams, The sheen of the far-surrounding seas, And islands that were the Hesperides Of all my boyish dreams. And the burden of that old song, It murmurs and whispers still: “A boy’s will is the wind’s will, And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.” I remember the black wharves and the ships, And the sea-tides tossing free; And Spanish sailors with bearded lips, And the beauty and mystery of the ships, And the magic of the sea. And the voice of that wayward song Is singing and saying still: “A boy’s will is the wind’s will, And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.” I remember the bulwarks by the shore, And the fort upon the hill; The sunrise gun, with its hollow roar, The drum-beat repeated o’er and o’er, And the bugle wild and shrill. And the music of that old song Throbs in my memory still: “A boy’s will is the wind’s will, And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.” I remember the sea-fight far away, How it thundered o’er the tide! And the dead captains, as they lay In their graves, o’erlooking the tranquil bay Where they in battle died. And the sound of that mournful song Goes through me with a thrill: “A boy’s will is the wind’s will, And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.” I can see the breezy dome of groves, The shadows of Deering’s Woods; And the friendships old and the early loves Come back with a Sabbath sound, as of doves In quiet neighborhoods. And the verse of that sweet old song, It flutters and murmurs still: “A boy’s will is the wind’s will, And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.” I remember the gleams and glooms that dart Across the school-boy’s brain; The song and the silence in the heart, That in part are prophecies, and in part Are longings wild and vain. And the voice of that fitful song Sings on, and is never still: “A boy’s will is the wind’s will, And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.” There are things of which I may not speak; There are dreams that cannot die; There are thoughts that make the strong heart weak, And bring a pallor into the cheek, And a mist before the eye. And the words of that fatal song Come over me like a chill: “A boy’s will is the wind’s will, And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.” Strange to me now are the forms I meet When I visit the dear old town; But the native air is pure and sweet, And the trees that o’ershadow each well-known street, As they balance up and down, Are singing the beautiful song, Are sighing and whispering still: “A boy’s will is the wind’s will, And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.” And Deering’s Woods are fresh and fair, And with joy that is almost pain My heart goes back to wander there, And among the dreams of the days that were, I find my lost youth again. And the strange and beautiful song, The groves are repeating it still: “A boy’s will is the wind’s will, And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.”
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6.8k
My Lost Youth
Often I think of the beautiful town That is seated by the sea; Often in thought go up and down The pleasant streets of that dear old town, And my youth comes back to me. And a verse of a Lapland song Is haunting my memory still: “A boy’s will is the wind’s will, And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.” I can see the shadowy lines of its trees, And catch, in sudden gleams, The sheen of the far-surrounding seas, And islands that were the Hesperides Of all my boyish dreams. And the burden of that old song, It murmurs and whispers still: “A boy’s will is the wind’s will, And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.” I remember the black wharves and the ships, And the sea-tides tossing free; And Spanish sailors with bearded lips, And the beauty and mystery of the ships, And the magic of the sea. And the voice of that wayward song Is singing and saying still: “A boy’s will is the wind’s will, And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.” I remember the bulwarks by the shore, And the fort upon the hill; The sunrise gun, with its hollow roar, The drum-beat repeated o’er and o’er, And the bugle wild and shrill. And the music of that old song Throbs in my memory still: “A boy’s will is the wind’s will, And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.” I remember the sea-fight far away, How it thundered o’er the tide! And the dead captains, as they lay In their graves, o’erlooking the tranquil bay Where they in battle died. And the sound of that mournful song Goes through me with a thrill: “A boy’s will is the wind’s will, And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.” I can see the breezy dome of groves, The shadows of Deering’s Woods; And the friendships old and the early loves Come back with a Sabbath sound, as of doves In quiet neighborhoods. And the verse of that sweet old song, It flutters and murmurs still: “A boy’s will is the wind’s will, And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.” I remember the gleams and glooms that dart Across the school-boy’s brain; The song and the silence in the heart, That in part are prophecies, and in part Are longings wild and vain. And the voice of that fitful song Sings on, and is never still: “A boy’s will is the wind’s will, And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.” There are things of which I may not speak; There are dreams that cannot die; There are thoughts that make the strong heart weak, And bring a pallor into the cheek, And a mist before the eye. And the words of that fatal song Come over me like a chill: “A boy’s will is the wind’s will, And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.” Strange to me now are the forms I meet When I visit the dear old town; But the native air is pure and sweet, And the trees that o’ershadow each well-known street, As they balance up and down, Are singing the beautiful song, Are sighing and whispering still: “A boy’s will is the wind’s will, And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.” And Deering’s Woods are fresh and fair, And with joy that is almost pain My heart goes back to wander there, And among the dreams of the days that were, I find my lost youth again. And the strange and beautiful song, The groves are repeating it still: “A boy’s will is the wind’s will, And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.”
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When   I  wake  up  and  get  ready For  a  new  day  to  start You  kiss  my  forehead  and  call  me,  "My  son!" Mother  I  know  you  love  me And  I  am  your  only  star I  know  you  are  afraid  to  lose  me And  father's  heart  throbs  too But I  have  to  go  outside  and  Learn  something  new I  see  those  protectors  who  beat  the  blinds I  see  those  protectors  who  beat  the  children I  see  how  they  protect  us And  perform  their  duty Mother  don't  be  afraid  of  this To  die  is  my  duty You  can  not  protect  me  outside They'll  beat  me  too If  I  fight  for  my  right O  Mother!  Hug  me  tight Because  God  knows This  might  be  my  last  night!
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Jan 22, 2015
Jan 22, 2015 at 12:41 PM UTC
Mother You Can not Protect Me
photograph One: i see you, and the first things i see are your dark eyes you sit beside me with open hands and make me laugh over coffee. photograph Two: one night i notice your mouth. you haven't drank but i have. still all i see are your eyes when you first lean in. i'm aroused and utterly haunted. photograph Three: you're so pale i want to colour you in. i want to make you alive. you're dancing so frenetically, my marionette man and i can't tell who tugs the strings. photograph Four: It's after midnight and you've stormed from my house snarling like a wolf waiting to die. "i'm poison" you spit. "i'll poison you, too". "you and me." i plead. "i won't run". photograph Five: it's a cloudy day. you tell me you love me without looking me in the eye. photograph Six: you're standing in the open doorway against winter wind dragging a half-quit cigarette and i am hugging my knees on your couch waiting for you to calm our eyelashes smeared chilly with tears. photograph Seven: you are lying on the floor, heaving with sobs. i am holding you as tight as i can because i don't know what to do and i'm afraid if i let you go you will cremate in the heat of your darkness already we are both husks. photograph Eight: we lie awake in your cold bed and we are strangers you will not touch me and i feel naked. photograph Nine: i awoke at 4am from a dream of you that was a lie many months after i fled from your ghost and like an infected wound it still throbs hotly that i could not save you and that for so long i could not save myself from you the dark-eyed boy with the angel tattoo
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Mar 2, 2012
Mar 2, 2012 at 11:54 AM UTC
bipolaroid pictures
photograph One: i see you, and the first things i see are your dark eyes you sit beside me with open hands and make me laugh over coffee. photograph Two: one night i notice your mouth. you haven't drank but i have. still all i see are your eyes when you first lean in. i'm aroused and utterly haunted. photograph Three: you're so pale i want to colour you in. i want to make you alive. you're dancing so frenetically, my marionette man and i can't tell who tugs the strings. photograph Four: It's after midnight and you've stormed from my house snarling like a wolf waiting to die. "i'm poison" you spit. "i'll poison you, too". "you and me." i plead. "i won't run". photograph Five: it's a cloudy day. you tell me you love me without looking me in the eye. photograph Six: you're standing in the open doorway against winter wind dragging a half-quit cigarette and i am hugging my knees on your couch waiting for you to calm our eyelashes smeared chilly with tears. photograph Seven: you are lying on the floor, heaving with sobs. i am holding you as tight as i can because i don't know what to do and i'm afraid if i let you go you will cremate in the heat of your darkness already we are both husks. photograph Eight: we lie awake in your cold bed and we are strangers you will not touch me and i feel naked. photograph Nine: i awoke at 4am from a dream of you that was a lie many months after i fled from your ghost and like an infected wound it still throbs hotly that i could not save you and that for so long i could not save myself from you the dark-eyed boy with the angel tattoo
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38
there’s a thorn stuck inside my chest, it throbs in pain every **** time when someone says your name ✧˚⁺✧༚⁎˚⁺˳✧
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Dec 7, 2017
Dec 7, 2017 at 6:43 AM UTC
You
Away with your fictions of flimsy romance, Those tissues of falsehood which Folly has wove; Give me the mild beam of the soul-breathing glance, Or the rapture which dwells on the first kiss of love. Ye rhymers, whose bosoms with fantasy glow, Whose pastoral passions are made for the grove; From what blest inspiration your sonnets would flow, Could you ever have tasted the first kiss of love. If Apollo should e’er his assistance refuse, Or the Nine be dispos’d from your service to rove, Invoke them no more, bid adieu to the Muse, And try the effect, of the first kiss of love. I hate you, ye cold compositions of art, Though prudes may condemn me, and bigots reprove; I court the effusions that spring from the heart, Which throbs, with delight, to the first kiss of love. Your shepherds, your flocks, those fantastical themes, Perhaps may amuse, yet they never can move: Arcadia displays but a region of dreams; What are visions like these, to the first kiss of love? Oh! cease to affirm that man, since his birth, From Adam, till now, has with wretchedness strove; Some portion of Paradise still is on earth, And Eden revives, in the first kiss of love. When age chills the blood, when our pleasures are past— For years fleet away with the wings of the dove— The dearest remembrance will still be the last, Our sweetest memorial, the first kiss of love.
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5.3k
The First Kiss Of Love
Today, the sky's blue Though my stomach is queasy And my heart throbs.
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Aug 28, 2014
Aug 28, 2014 at 3:24 PM UTC
Sky-Blue
They're feverish with desire Eclipsed in love Raging like a black smoke fire ****** scents rising above The pheromones they release Must be smelled miles away They've missed this, the tease And liquid glances, it's been days Since, either have touched the other But they still feel that ****** tension On every inch of their skin When they're finally away from prying eyes Their lips mesh, his hands move to her thighs And hers slide up through his hair Gripping on tight They could be spotted, but neither cares He pushes her hard against the wall Bringing her legs around his hips She thanks heaven she wore a skirt And quiets a moan by devouring his lips He quickly, fervently unzips his jeans Releasing himself and promptly Entering her sweet, wet heat He groans as he swallows her scream Then pounds in hard, fast, ferociously She rocks her hips with a delicious little motion Squeezing her core tight, biting his lips Coming almost instantly when he growls with delight He thrusts harder, incessantly feeling her getting tight Moving her ankles to rest on his shoulders He delves his shaft as deep inside as he can reach She scratches scars along his back And they kiss so deep like it's the final feast She throbs in her core as another wave hits at full force Starts going weak as she comes once more Feeling her liquid pour, brings him to the edge He grips her ankles stretching the limits of her flexibility Then roars into her sweet mouth as he comes, vigorously He lets her legs go, but holds her upright They both sigh knowing it's the beginning of the night, And that was just a quickie
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Dec 14, 2014
Dec 14, 2014 at 3:18 PM UTC
Quickie **** Sunday)
They're feverish with desire Eclipsed in love Raging like a black smoke fire ****** scents rising above The pheromones they release Must be smelled miles away They've missed this, the tease And liquid glances, it's been days Since, either have touched the other But they still feel that ****** tension On every inch of their skin When they're finally away from prying eyes Their lips mesh, his hands move to her thighs And hers slide up through his hair Gripping on tight They could be spotted, but neither cares He pushes her hard against the wall Bringing her legs around his hips She thanks heaven she wore a skirt And quiets a moan by devouring his lips He quickly, fervently unzips his jeans Releasing himself and promptly Entering her sweet, wet heat He groans as he swallows her scream Then pounds in hard, fast, ferociously She rocks her hips with a delicious little motion Squeezing her core tight, biting his lips Coming almost instantly when he growls with delight He thrusts harder, incessantly feeling her getting tight Moving her ankles to rest on his shoulders He delves his shaft as deep inside as he can reach She scratches scars along his back And they kiss so deep like it's the final feast She throbs in her core as another wave hits at full force Starts going weak as she comes once more Feeling her liquid pour, brings him to the edge He grips her ankles stretching the limits of her flexibility Then roars into her sweet mouth as he comes, vigorously He lets her legs go, but holds her upright They both sigh knowing it's the beginning of the night, And that was just a quickie
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O Buddha, the gold vein of thy sermon of mercy ran through gloom-gorged, rocky hearts, and illumined their darkness. Thou loftiest soarer of renunciation's skies, beneath thy God-lifted eyes, the kingdom of sense-comfort, the rivers of gross greed, the vast and lust-scorched deserts of desire, the tall trees of temporal ambition, the cactus plants of prickly world-worries—all melt into invisible smallness. Buddha, the arc-light of thy sympathy sought to melt the hardness of cruel hearts. Once thou didst save a lamb by offering thyself in its stead. Thy solemn thoughts still silently roam through the ether of minds, searching for ecstasy-tuned hearts. Seated beneath the banyan bodhi tree, thou didst make a solemn tryst with the Spirit: "Beneath the banyan bough, On the sacred seat I take this vow: Let derma, bones, and fleeting flesh dissolve; Until the mysteries of life I solve, And receive the all-coveted Priceless Lore, From this place I shall stir, never, nevermore." Thou symbol of sympathy, incarnation of mercy, give us thy determination, that we may seek truth as doggedly as thou didst. Bless us, that we may be awakened, like thee, to seek remedy for the sorrow-throbs of others as we seek it for ourselves. From: Whispers from Eternity A Book of Answered Prayers 1949 Edition
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4.8k
Come To Me as Buddha
I feel the walls of my mentality breaking down. The defense mechanism has failed. My weakness has been found. Bombs bombard my frontal lobes. How much time do I have left? That's a question nobody knows. But the army of stress wages through. Setting fire and killing cells, torturing them as the army continues to move. My head throbs with pain, my legs join my arms in what feels like an earthquake; Heart pounds with tremendous force, my body is on a crash course. The room becomes an amusement park ride. While different moods pass me by. Day after day the symptoms increase. Today may be the day when I accept defeat. Socializing has become a thing of the past, all I have is panic attacks. Happiness has finally been lost. Without a map, and at what cost? Control center has been compromised. Here I am, I have met my demise.
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Jul 17, 2014
Jul 17, 2014 at 2:26 PM UTC
Breakdown
"It's always that easy. The problem is, you don't want to bury it." Lock it away, seal the case, never let it surface or touch your face, a simple caress, a broken sigh, it's about time you've said goodbye. A memory pressed against my cheeks, I haven't  heard from him in weeks, it throbs, it hurts, it makes me cry, why won't this incessant feeling die? Living, breathing, beating soul, why must you hurt me so? Please rid me of this tattered heart, mend me, lest I fall apart. Burn it, ban it, **** it now, these feelings you must disavow, with fragile lips you kiss farewell, may these pains part ways from me in Hell.
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May 12, 2015
May 12, 2015 at 7:24 PM UTC
Bury It
*This is one of the racier "Memories" poems by the great Barry Hodges, my alter ego. It might well make you come involuntarily in your ****** How happy was I once with the wind in my hair Wandering o'er the dales with joyousness unmeasur'd, In the sweet long passed innocent days of platonic love When stolen gropes and kiss were to be treasured. But all good and true things come to a sad close And my poor first love lies in her grave so sorrowfully Having been crushed to death by a runaway steamroller Before I managed to go all the way quite thoroughly. What a waste of delightful teenage flesh was that Yet perhaps I had a narrow escape from the derangement Which might have been mine had our trysting Led to a semi-permanent matrimonial arrangement. For I recall one afternoon in the old ABC cinema In the delighful Yorkshire spa town of Harrogate, Sitting next to my gorgeous love in the back row, Exploring her not so very private parts on a hot date. How I cursed the management's niggardly folly In not showing a film with hot romantic blood But saving pathetic pennies by putting on Daffy ******** Duck and Elmer ******* Fudd. But yet I perserved with my digital explorations Unaware that the throbs my fingers felt were no dream But darling Elsie laughing like a proverbial drain At Daffy's hilarious anatine adventures on-screen. 'Twas then I began to wonder about the viscous liquid I had hitherto imagined was Elsie's lovejuice flowing *(dear, dear reader, cease your perusal of my tale forthwith if you are of a nervous disposition or prone to food up-throwing)*. It was only a careful examination of my sopping knuckles In the dimly lit gents after old Daffy's film was done and dusted Which revealed that my dearly beloved had leaked Big time out of both ends, leaving my fingers well encrusted. O to think that, but for Daffy, I might have been lumbered With a different kind of bird for whom double incontinence Was a way of life (thus, the fatal steamroller she encountered The very next day was a blessing from kindly Providence).
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Aug 16, 2015
Aug 16, 2015 at 5:07 PM UTC
Memories of Harrogate and the Yorkshire Dales
*This is one of the racier "Memories" poems by the great Barry Hodges, my alter ego. It might well make you come involuntarily in your ****** How happy was I once with the wind in my hair Wandering o'er the dales with joyousness unmeasur'd, In the sweet long passed innocent days of platonic love When stolen gropes and kiss were to be treasured. But all good and true things come to a sad close And my poor first love lies in her grave so sorrowfully Having been crushed to death by a runaway steamroller Before I managed to go all the way quite thoroughly. What a waste of delightful teenage flesh was that Yet perhaps I had a narrow escape from the derangement Which might have been mine had our trysting Led to a semi-permanent matrimonial arrangement. For I recall one afternoon in the old ABC cinema In the delighful Yorkshire spa town of Harrogate, Sitting next to my gorgeous love in the back row, Exploring her not so very private parts on a hot date. How I cursed the management's niggardly folly In not showing a film with hot romantic blood But saving pathetic pennies by putting on Daffy ******** Duck and Elmer ******* Fudd. But yet I perserved with my digital explorations Unaware that the throbs my fingers felt were no dream But darling Elsie laughing like a proverbial drain At Daffy's hilarious anatine adventures on-screen. 'Twas then I began to wonder about the viscous liquid I had hitherto imagined was Elsie's lovejuice flowing *(dear, dear reader, cease your perusal of my tale forthwith if you are of a nervous disposition or prone to food up-throwing)*. It was only a careful examination of my sopping knuckles In the dimly lit gents after old Daffy's film was done and dusted Which revealed that my dearly beloved had leaked Big time out of both ends, leaving my fingers well encrusted. O to think that, but for Daffy, I might have been lumbered With a different kind of bird for whom double incontinence Was a way of life (thus, the fatal steamroller she encountered The very next day was a blessing from kindly Providence).
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38
I How should I seek to make a song for thee When all my music is to moan thy name? That long sad monotone - the same - the same - Matching the mute insatiable sea That throbs with life's bewitching agony, Too long to measure and too fierce to tame! An hurtful joy, a fascinating shame Is this great ache that grips the heart of me. Even as a cancer, so this passion gnaws Away my soul, and will not ease its jaws Till I am dead. Then let me die! Who knows But that this corpse committed to the earth May be the occasion of some happier birth? Spring's earliest snowdrop? Summer's latest rose? II Thou knowest what asp hath fixed its lethal tooth In the white breast that trembled like a flower At thy name whispered. thou hast marked how hour By hour its poison hath dissolved my youth, Half skilled to agonise, half skilled to soothe This passion ineluctable, this power Slave to its single end, to storm the tower That holdeth thee, who art Authentic Truth. O golden hawk! O lidless eye! Behold How the grey creeps upon the shuddering gold! Still I will strive! That thou mayst sweep Swift on the dead from thine all-seeing steep - And the unutterable word by spoken.
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3.9k
The Mantra-Yoga
In the dark of night, in the middle of a storm A dish falls, shatters A shriek tears the relative silence Pale pink blood blossoms in the water While rich red blood wells up in the hand Tears falling like a blinding waterfall Stabs and throbs of aching stinging searing pain Blood and pain and tears fill the mind A flash of white tissue beneath the torrents of red Panting sobs and hyperventilation Panicking as victim is rushed to the ER Mother tries to comfort daughter with story of healed, Previously lacerated toes Two words blurted between gasps of pain: NOT HELPING Arrive to an empty lobby, excepting a nurse and receptionist Focus on nothing, only the hand The possible tendon torn, the skin shredded, the blood spilt Dishtowel now soaking red irony fluid instead of clear soapy The story repeated 6, 7, 8 times A nurse asks if I smoke or drink A radiologist asks if there is any chance for pregnancy And for a moment I am shocked out of my pain into pondering The corruption of the modern generations, Such that I am asked these questions Any friend of mine would quickly tell that No, I'm not that kind of teenager... but how many are? Then I am whisked from the x-ray room Off for stitches, they say my tendon is cut That I need stitches The fingers no longer gush, but that triviality is soon remedied A doctor probes the wound for shards Nurse flushes it clean with chlorohexadine Both renew the flow Doctor returns, stitches both fingers and chats away Grand tally of five stitches, a splint, blankets of guaze, And a roll of medical tape Prescriptions for pain meds and antibiotics, both given A scoffing glance, but instructions are followed Forbidden from any activity with the right hand by my mother I struggle even to write, simple chores soon a nuisance First time the splint and stitches are gone, Doctor number two declares my hand usable First time the little finger bends, the half healed skin splits So all for a plate, a hand was rendered more useless
0
Nov 13, 2012
Nov 13, 2012 at 10:07 PM UTC
hand laceration
In the dark of night, in the middle of a storm A dish falls, shatters A shriek tears the relative silence Pale pink blood blossoms in the water While rich red blood wells up in the hand Tears falling like a blinding waterfall Stabs and throbs of aching stinging searing pain Blood and pain and tears fill the mind A flash of white tissue beneath the torrents of red Panting sobs and hyperventilation Panicking as victim is rushed to the ER Mother tries to comfort daughter with story of healed, Previously lacerated toes Two words blurted between gasps of pain: NOT HELPING Arrive to an empty lobby, excepting a nurse and receptionist Focus on nothing, only the hand The possible tendon torn, the skin shredded, the blood spilt Dishtowel now soaking red irony fluid instead of clear soapy The story repeated 6, 7, 8 times A nurse asks if I smoke or drink A radiologist asks if there is any chance for pregnancy And for a moment I am shocked out of my pain into pondering The corruption of the modern generations, Such that I am asked these questions Any friend of mine would quickly tell that No, I'm not that kind of teenager... but how many are? Then I am whisked from the x-ray room Off for stitches, they say my tendon is cut That I need stitches The fingers no longer gush, but that triviality is soon remedied A doctor probes the wound for shards Nurse flushes it clean with chlorohexadine Both renew the flow Doctor returns, stitches both fingers and chats away Grand tally of five stitches, a splint, blankets of guaze, And a roll of medical tape Prescriptions for pain meds and antibiotics, both given A scoffing glance, but instructions are followed Forbidden from any activity with the right hand by my mother I struggle even to write, simple chores soon a nuisance First time the splint and stitches are gone, Doctor number two declares my hand usable First time the little finger bends, the half healed skin splits So all for a plate, a hand was rendered more useless
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2am is when the wolves call for me and I die slowly. 2am is when I end up sacrificing myself to you, so I can finally be quiet. 2am is when I won't fall asleep because all I have is this window to keep me company. 2am I look and see a tumbleweed in the streets, wandering aimlessly. "That's my heart now set it free." 2am a song comes on the radio. It isn't familiar,  but it somehow describes everything I'm feeling, even right down to its melody. 2am I don't know who I am but all I know is I need a friend. At 2am I will play this song until my head can't take it anymore. It's a mantra that won't stop repeating itself, and I love it. 2am I look into my sheets. I peer down and see your face. I reach to touch it but it fades away. Transparent you is very rude. At 2am I will sing this tune I do not know. Therefore it will sound drunken, but I do not care because it reminds me of you. 2am where did you go? You used to be right next to me. Now all I have is oxygen filling the space where you would look at me and say, "I love you." 2am how did I end up this way?  I open my hands and see my veins. I hate them. I hate them because you used to run your fingers across them. 2am I grab the weapon of death. I can see my reflection even in the darkness. As my heart throbs of pain, my life is over and I am free, at 2am.
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Jun 22, 2014
Jun 22, 2014 at 1:20 AM UTC
2am
Somewhat back from the village street Stands the old-fashioned country-seat. Across its antique portico Tall poplar-trees their shadows throw; And from its station in the hall An ancient timepiece says to all,— “Forever—never! Never—forever!” Half-way up the stairs it stands, And points and beckons with its hands From its case of massive oak, Like a monk, who, under his cloak, Crosses himself, and sighs, alas! With sorrowful voice to all who pass,— “Forever—never! Never—forever!” By day its voice is low and light; But in the silent dead of night, Distinct as a passing footstep’s fall, It echoes along the vacant hall, Along the ceiling, along the floor, And seems to say, at each chamber-door,— “Forever—never! Never—forever!” Through days of sorrow and of mirth, Through days of death and days of birth, Through every swift vicissitude Of changeful time, unchanged it has stood, And as if, like God, it all things saw, It calmly repeats those words of awe,— “Forever—never! Never—forever!” In that mansion used to be Free-hearted Hospitality; His great fires up the chimney roared; The stranger feasted at his board; But, like the skeleton at the feast, That warning timepiece never ceased,— “Forever—never! Never—forever!” There groups of merry children played, There youths and maidens dreaming strayed; O precious hours! O golden prime, And affluence of love and time! Even as a miser counts his gold, Those hours the ancient timepiece told,— “Forever—never! Never—forever!” From that chamber, clothed in white, The bride came forth on her wedding night; There, in that silent room below, The dead lay in his shroud of snow; And in the hush that followed the prayer, Was heard the old clock on the stair,— “Forever—never! Never—forever!” All are scattered now and fled, Some are married, some are dead; And when I ask, with throbs of pain, “Ah! when shall they all meet again?” As in the days long since gone by, The ancient timepiece makes reply,— “Forever—never! Never—forever!” Never here, forever there, Where all parting, pain, and care, And death, and time shall disappear,— Forever there, but never here! The horologe of Eternity Sayeth this incessantly,— “Forever—never! Never—forever!”
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3.6k
The Old Clock On The Stairs
Somewhat back from the village street Stands the old-fashioned country-seat. Across its antique portico Tall poplar-trees their shadows throw; And from its station in the hall An ancient timepiece says to all,— “Forever—never! Never—forever!” Half-way up the stairs it stands, And points and beckons with its hands From its case of massive oak, Like a monk, who, under his cloak, Crosses himself, and sighs, alas! With sorrowful voice to all who pass,— “Forever—never! Never—forever!” By day its voice is low and light; But in the silent dead of night, Distinct as a passing footstep’s fall, It echoes along the vacant hall, Along the ceiling, along the floor, And seems to say, at each chamber-door,— “Forever—never! Never—forever!” Through days of sorrow and of mirth, Through days of death and days of birth, Through every swift vicissitude Of changeful time, unchanged it has stood, And as if, like God, it all things saw, It calmly repeats those words of awe,— “Forever—never! Never—forever!” In that mansion used to be Free-hearted Hospitality; His great fires up the chimney roared; The stranger feasted at his board; But, like the skeleton at the feast, That warning timepiece never ceased,— “Forever—never! Never—forever!” There groups of merry children played, There youths and maidens dreaming strayed; O precious hours! O golden prime, And affluence of love and time! Even as a miser counts his gold, Those hours the ancient timepiece told,— “Forever—never! Never—forever!” From that chamber, clothed in white, The bride came forth on her wedding night; There, in that silent room below, The dead lay in his shroud of snow; And in the hush that followed the prayer, Was heard the old clock on the stair,— “Forever—never! Never—forever!” All are scattered now and fled, Some are married, some are dead; And when I ask, with throbs of pain, “Ah! when shall they all meet again?” As in the days long since gone by, The ancient timepiece makes reply,— “Forever—never! Never—forever!” Never here, forever there, Where all parting, pain, and care, And death, and time shall disappear,— Forever there, but never here! The horologe of Eternity Sayeth this incessantly,— “Forever—never! Never—forever!”
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dysphoria can be defined as a general unease or dissatisfaction, a discontent but dysphoria feels more like a disconnect my heartbeat feels more like a defect when it throbs against my shrinking ribcage I can feel that it's making a dent dysphoria comes from a greek root meaning "hard to bear" it is hard to bear **** it's hard to breathe literally physically I cannot breathe I cannot be free dysphoria is when you have to close your eyes while you shower so you can't see each breath shakes as it comes out of me there is medical material clung so tightly to my body it has become an extension of me and nothing on me belongs to me I am trapped beneath waves of what I can't stand to be my body of water feels more like an anchor I am drowning and you can tug at my spine but you cannot feel me I cannot even feel me I would do anything to make these ends meet dysphoria grabs hastily a current does not care your worth, it just pulls you under dysphoria does not care if you deserve better dysphoria is a disconnect and I haven't found directions to the end
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Jul 26, 2015
Jul 26, 2015 at 8:00 PM UTC
d y s p h o r i a
Who knows what stops the heart of a song I take note of tiny thud— robin in the wheel well of my car the limp head of a cat’s prey sigh of wings defrocked by power lines baby starling’s fledgling flight falling short of a pond’s edge The slate morsel unearthed by the tines of my rake …and the world is vacant for a moment Grief ***** a womb of air but how it lives— I cannot say Upended creature of us Stops the throbs that herald life
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Apr 5, 2017
Apr 5, 2017 at 3:24 PM UTC
Raking Under Forsythia
l{one}l{I}ness hurts like one e   m   p   t   y cup of coffee while another sits cold in the late afternoon light full and a little bitter like your stomach it stings like too much wine -- or ***** against chapped lips at 10:45p.m. finding a ****** wrapper under your bed of trapped in the corners of your sheets or cigarette cherries falling onto fuzzy knee caps while Johny Cash sings you into drunken sleep al{one} at 11:30 p.m. it throbs like heads and unanswered text messages and bruises on your knees the day after blinking dizzily into grey-morning-afternoon-night waking up in a single bed when the fires have gone out makeup is smeared and you realize you forgot to put on socks it feels like that look on your face when calls go unanswered and pretty lingerie makes your skin look bruised when a dress meant for a party lies crumpled in the corner of your bed or your bathroom damp and wrinkled from showers taken at 3.am. to burn out the lonely that clings like your hands in his when you stop being alone or like perfume on a black tee-shirt that you borrowed months ago it is comforting like cheap coffee and relaxed smiles of an entire box of off-brand reeses cocoa puffs with almond milk of the taste of peach cigarillos it is sweet like sweet red and dark chocolate on a tuesday night when you are in your underwear or like listening to sad music while shaving your legs and buying a bottle of nail polish because of the pun in the name on its bottom it is also addicting like the smell of their sweat or seeing their car parked at the gas station and holding your breath to see them or counting the ******* band stickers on their bumper to the beats of your heart untill the lights turn green it is like listening to ingrid michaelson in a cold car or sitting in a cheap orange chair in a coffeeshop by yourself. it is like drinking a bottle of wine before 5 p.m. or watching the sun rise over naked january trees when you haven't slept the night before or the night before that or the night before or the night before
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Feb 2, 2013
Feb 2, 2013 at 2:55 PM UTC
insomnia
l{one}l{I}ness hurts like one e   m   p   t   y cup of coffee while another sits cold in the late afternoon light full and a little bitter like your stomach it stings like too much wine -- or ***** against chapped lips at 10:45p.m. finding a ****** wrapper under your bed of trapped in the corners of your sheets or cigarette cherries falling onto fuzzy knee caps while Johny Cash sings you into drunken sleep al{one} at 11:30 p.m. it throbs like heads and unanswered text messages and bruises on your knees the day after blinking dizzily into grey-morning-afternoon-night waking up in a single bed when the fires have gone out makeup is smeared and you realize you forgot to put on socks it feels like that look on your face when calls go unanswered and pretty lingerie makes your skin look bruised when a dress meant for a party lies crumpled in the corner of your bed or your bathroom damp and wrinkled from showers taken at 3.am. to burn out the lonely that clings like your hands in his when you stop being alone or like perfume on a black tee-shirt that you borrowed months ago it is comforting like cheap coffee and relaxed smiles of an entire box of off-brand reeses cocoa puffs with almond milk of the taste of peach cigarillos it is sweet like sweet red and dark chocolate on a tuesday night when you are in your underwear or like listening to sad music while shaving your legs and buying a bottle of nail polish because of the pun in the name on its bottom it is also addicting like the smell of their sweat or seeing their car parked at the gas station and holding your breath to see them or counting the ******* band stickers on their bumper to the beats of your heart untill the lights turn green it is like listening to ingrid michaelson in a cold car or sitting in a cheap orange chair in a coffeeshop by yourself. it is like drinking a bottle of wine before 5 p.m. or watching the sun rise over naked january trees when you haven't slept the night before or the night before that or the night before or the night before
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