"throbbed" poems
Come with me, I said, and no one knew
where, or how my pain throbbed,
no carnations or barcaroles for me,
only a wound that love had opened.
I said it again: Come with me, as if I were dying,
and no one saw the moon that bled in my mouth
or the blood that rose into the silence.
O Love, now we can forget the star that has such thorns!
That is why when I heard your voice repeat
Come with me, it was as if you had let loose
the grief, the love, the fury of a cork-trapped wine
the geysers flooding from deep in its vault:
in my mouth I felt the taste of fire again,
of blood and carnations, of rock and scald.
26.1k
I
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public
doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
II
O the valley in the summer where I and my John
Beside the deep river would walk on and on
While the flowers at our feet and the birds up above
Argued so sweetly on reciprocal love,
And I leaned on his shoulder; 'O Johnny, let's play':
But he frowned like thunder and he went away.
O that Friday near Christmas as I well recall
When we went to the Charity Matinee Ball,
The floor was so smooth and the band was so loud
And Johnny so handsome I felt so proud;
'Squeeze me tighter, dear Johnny, let's dance till it's day':
But he frowned like thunder and he went away.
Shall I ever forget at the Grand Opera
When music poured out of each wonderful star?
Diamonds and pearls they hung dazzling down
Over each silver and golden silk gown;
'O John I'm in heaven,' I whispered to say:
But he frowned like thunder and he went away.
O but he was fair as a garden in flower,
As slender and tall as the great Eiffel Tower,
When the waltz throbbed out on the long promenade
O his eyes and his smile they went straight to my heart;
'O marry me, Johnny, I'll love and obey':
But he frowned like thunder and he went away.
O last night I dreamed of you, Johnny, my lover,
You'd the sun on one arm and the moon on the other,
The sea it was blue and the grass it was green,
Every star rattled a round tambourine;
Ten thousand miles deep in a pit there I lay:
But you frowned like thunder and you went away.
15.2k
Forth into the forest straightway
All alone walked Hiawatha
Proudly, with his bow and arrows,
And the birds sang round him, o’er him,
“Do not shoot us, Hiawatha!”
Sang the robin, the Opechee,
Sang the blue bird, the Owaissa,
“Do not shoot us, Hiawatha!”
Up the oak tree, close beside him,
Sprang the squirrel, Adjidaumo,
In and out among the branches,
Coughed and chattered from the oak tree,
Laughed, and said between his laughing,
“Do not shoot me, Hiawatha!”
And the rabbit from his pathway
Leaped aside, and at a distance
Sat ***** upon his haunches,
Half in fear and half in frolic,
Saying to the little hunter,
“Do not shoot me, Hiawatha!”
But he heeded not, nor heard them,
For his thoughts were with the red deer;
On their tracks his eyes were fastened,
Leading downward to the river,
To the ford across the river,
And as one in slumber walked he,
Hidden in the alder bushes.
There he waited till the deer came,
Till he saw two antlers lifted,
Saw two eyes look from the thicket,
Saw two nostrils point to windward,
And a deer came down the pathway,
Flecked with leafy light and shadow.
And his heart within him fluttered,
Trembled like the leaves above him,
Like the birch-leaf palpitated,
As the deer came down the pathway.
Then, upon one knee uprising,
Hiawatha aimed an arrow;
Scarce a twig moved with his motion,
Scarce a leaf was stirred or rustled,
But the wary roebuck started,
Stamped with all his hoofs together,
Listened with one foot uplifted,
Leaped as if to meet the arrow;
Ah! the singing, fatal arrow,
Like a wasp it buzzed and stung him!
Dead he lay there in the forest,
By the ford across the river;
Beat his timid heart no longer,
But the heart of Hiawatha
Throbbed and shouted and exulted,
As he bore the red deer homeward,
And Iagoo and Nokomis
Hailed his coming with applauses.
From the red deer’s hide Nokomis
Made a cloak for Hiawatha,
From the red deer’s flesh Nokomis
Made a banquet in his honor.
All the village came and feasted,
All the guests praised Hiawatha,
Called him Strong-heart, Soan-ge-taha!
Called him Loon-Heart, Mahn-go-taysee!
9.2k
On Monday, November 14th
She wore her favorite dress.
Blue with grace.
Lace that covered her shoulders.
Lace that teased all the men that walked by.
Falling to her knees.
Barely brushing the scabs and scars that sat there.
Hugging her hips like the night hugs the moon.
On Monday, November 14th
She smiled.
Cherry lipgloss smeared quickly across her thin lips.
White teeth peaking out.
Her lips perfectly outlined.
The corners tucked up beautifully.
On Monday, November 14th,
She stood.
Pride in her perfect posture.
Proud of her lean body.
Her body perfectly aligned.
Not a flaw.
On Monday, November 14th
Her arms were pale.
A gold bracelet hugged her wrist.
You could see each blue stream, happily working.
Dusted with freckles.
Soft and pure.
On Tuesday, November 15th
She did not wear her favorite dress.
She wore a different one.
Black with sorrow.
No lace.
Falling to her ankles.
Encasing scabbed knees.
Hugging her in all the wrong places.
On Tuesday, November 15th
She frowned.
Blood red lipstick stained her thin lips.
Her teeth hid inside her blooded lips.
The corners fell, drooped.
On Tuesday, November 15th,
She sat.
Too exhausted to stand.
She let go of her posture.
She was cautious of her appearance.
Aware of her flaws.
On Tuesday, November 15th,
Her arms were whiter than before.
Each vein slashed.
Red.
The gold bracelet still hung there.
Her freckles throbbed with pain.
No longer soft, or pure.
On Tuesday, November 15th
He died.
Early in the morning.
With him, he took her strength, her smile, her pride.
He left her bare.
On Wednesday, November 16th
She missed him.
She missed him a little too much.
Her heart couldn't take it.
Her eyes red and swollen.
She was there, but gone.
On Thursday, November 17th
She joined him, quietly.
Nov 1, 2013
Nov 1, 2013 at 9:53 AM UTC
Her first ever play party,
They barely had a chance to talk.
This was the first time they were able to interact with one another.
Her offered her a massage.
they went up to the massage room, and He got undressed and on the table. It started off as an innocent massage.One thing led to another and they ended up all over each other, it until it was over.
After it was over, they rolled over and started over because they weren't done. He did what no one else had ever done…
He took her over.
Without asking, he bent her over...
the massage table,
lifted my dress,
and ****** her.
hard and deep
until her legs gave weak from getting weak
He took what he wanted, Her
Cause she need hit to,
He just read the queues,
After listening to what she was saying,
he heard what I wasn’t saying.
and gave in.
He grabbed her,
He bit her,
then he ravished her.
Each satisfying ****** filled her with pleasure
Him deep inside her wetness, pleased her
as she pleaded, he wetness throbbed for more.
She wanted Him, and she got him
now she addicted, and won't settle unless she gets more.
Mar 24, 2024
Mar 24, 2024 at 10:43 PM UTC
it became a perpetual motion
a dance
someone hands the card, another lights
the amount of aching discolored grazed fingers was immense
put your finger on the flint wheel
press it down
karen thought we should make a sign
the scrambles of bruised fingers for a piece of cardboard
my fingers throbbed as i scratched our message on the board
i kept the pink flower locked in the crease of my hand
and threw them in air
“draft card burning here”
it was 7 00 in the morning
october 21 1967
i was only 17
my brother jeffrey was flying a plane over dien bien phu
a friend richard was screaming in the trenches of xuan loc
a lover michael treading through a swamp in mui bai ****
i stepped up to The Police.
The. Men. In. Suits. Stared. At. Me
Blank. Faces. And. No. Expression.
I picked up my Pink Daisy, and brought it up to their bayonets
this is for Jeffrey, for Richard, and for Michael
the men in suits stared at me
in a world of chaos and confusion
all I heard was
Silence.
Oct 22, 2014
Oct 22, 2014 at 2:09 PM UTC
ONE time he dreamed beside a sea
That laid a mane of mimic stars
In fondling quiet on the knee
Of one tall, pearlèd cliff; the bars
Of golden beaches upward swept;
Pine-scented shadows seaward crept.
The full moon swung her ripened sphere
As from a vine; and clouds, as small
As vine leaves in the opening year,
Kissed the large circle of her ball.
The stars gleamed thro' them as one sees
Thor' vine leaves drift the golden bees.
He dreamed beside this purple sea;
Low sang its trancéd voice, and he-
He knew not if the wordless strain
Made prophecy of joy or pain;
He only knew far stretched that sea,
He knew its name-Eternity.
A shallop with a rainbow sail
On the bright pulses of the tide
Throbbed airily; a fluting gale
Kissed the rich gilding of its side;
By chain of rose and myrtle fast
A light sail touched the slender mast.
'A flower-bright rainbow thing,' he said
To one beside him, 'far too frail
To brave dark storms that lurk ahead,
To dare sharp talons of the gale.
Beloved, thou wouldst not forth with me
In such a bark on such a sea?'
'First tell me of its name.' She bent
Her eyes divine and innocent
On his. He raised his hand above
Its prow and answering swore, ''Tis Love!'
'Now tell,' she asked, 'how is it build-
Of gold, or worthless timber gilt?'
'Of gold,' he said. 'Whence named?' asked she,
The roses of her lips apart;
She paused-a lily by the sea.
Came his swift answer, 'From my heart!'
She laid her light palm in his hand:
'Let loose the shallop from the strand!'
2.2k
I waited on the front porch,
My knuckles demanded entry,
The door swung open a
Little too fast, or
Not fast enough
His eyes carried a
Salacious appetite,
His lips moist from the
Slow curling of that
Relentless tongue
Before words could escape,
His arms, those steel arms,
With dancing tribals
Caressing his biceps,
They abducted my body
As he stampeded through the house,
Carried me to his satin sanctuary
He threw me down into
A pile of black and white clouds
Who eagerly invited me,
All in the next breath,
He turned me around, pushed
My face into silken sheets,
He had his way, a pirate
With newfound treasure
He yanked my ear
With Rigid teeth,
My neck, his personal towel
For the wicked words that bled
Out the gate of his mouth,
My scalp throbbed from
Malicious fingers glued
To my fragile, mahogany locks
My hands bound in
An unbreakable grip,
So much that I couldn’t get
Rid of the sweat that rained
From his electrifying aura,
It only brought me closer
To seeing stars that I
Desperately craved
Moaning exhalations
Seized my vocal cords,
Tingling sensations
Stung my raw body
As chains of colors
Slashed through me
Sensing my release,
The barbaric pattern
That drove his body,
Turned into a boat
On a stilled lake
He spun me around,
Let my chin rest in his hand,
Our chests rebelled for
The abuse we forced
Our bodies into
I didn’t care,
This man was a feral warrior,
Who shared blends
Of pain and pleasure,
A brutal humanitarian,
He didn’t make me see
Stars, instead,
I saw the whole galaxy
Jul 3, 2013
Jul 3, 2013 at 4:09 PM UTC
The funny thing about love is people are always trying to tell you how to feel it.
"You hardly know the guy, you can't be in love."
"You're too young to be in love."
We've heard it all before.
From my experience though,
Love has no time constraints.
Yes, love is complicated,
But it is also very simple.
I knew I loved him when
I heard him laugh for the first time.
when I watched his eyes light up,
while he talked about airplanes.
I knew I loved him
when he made me an egg volcano for breakfast
and we pretended to be his roommate's parents.
(even though I had never met his roommate before that)
I knew I loved him
when I sat across from him on the dock
and watched the starlight dance on his face.
when I felt like I could tell him anything.
I knew I loved him when
he told me he had to leave.
I knew there wouldn't be a spot missing
in my heart where he once existed.
But a spot that he still lived
and bloomed,
where my heart still throbbed for him.
Where I still smelled his cologne,
heard him laughing,
felt his lips pressed against mine.
I would cry,
boy would I cry.
But I knew I would love him forever.
Dec 12, 2017
Dec 12, 2017 at 12:11 AM UTC
I lick the ice from my skin;
for it has remained there
since the moment you left,
and I know I must defrost my
indifference and ambivalence
before you return to my arms.
-
a cold, hard shell
encapsulates my heart
(which once throbbed with
love unquenchable)
and icily creeps steadily
up the walls
& down the corridors
only to stop
& melt
at the site of
my own
selfish, steaming,
lamenting, seeping,
cave of a dwelling.
-
*Yet still I wait
at the door,
to see who
will arrive with the pick.*
Jun 27, 2012
Jun 27, 2012 at 12:55 PM UTC
It smelled like cheap beer
and stale cigarettes,
and my shoes stuck to the floor.
My head throbbed with an ache
even my ***** tonics couldn't soothe,
and watching you watching her made me
feel short of breath.
I shook her hand and smiled
as I glanced at the hickey on your neck.
You gave me a hug and offered me a cigarette,
and I smoked it in the corner
Alone.
Aug 14, 2012
Aug 14, 2012 at 9:51 PM UTC
I awoke one morning
To light beating through the window,
The steady hum of the city
In my bones. I was in a manic mood
Before noon, half-dressed with my hair
Standing straight from a nervous hand.
My chest throbbed with a warm weight,
A smoldering ember that expression could extinguish only.
I wrote and cried and bled
To get the vibration I was feeling
Down on paper. In vain I spewed
Collections of letters, contorted and foreign
My mind was
Shooting up skyscrapers and
Strolling down streets of shine;
I could but lust at a copy of Gatsby through a puddle of cheap wine.
I suddenly found I couldn't take my walls,
Any longer.
I forced open the window
And the city flooded my room,
Sending papers sailing. I resonated
With the silver river
And all of me cried for release.
I scrounged together clothes and wet my hair,
Then bolted out the building.
I was embraced by the world and twirled along,
Hull to hull with the lonely lot.
We, the builders of this landscape,
The elemental moving force
That hollowed these ashen canyons.
Day by day we toil along our track,
Carving deeper and wider, shifting specks,
Seamlessly, we are one-
Crisp dress shirt and an expensive smell, cracked black work boots and a ponytail.
I raised my eyes to the brilliant glare
Of the segmented sky and considered the beauty of being
A drop within a trickle.
Rushing, rushing, I flowed around corners
And broke against departmental shores.
I sought my gaze in a fifth avenue reflection but found only lips.
If people are the sea then I am the mist.
Understand me-- I felt not love for others,
But a crushing connectivity.
Drifting, drifting, I was swallowed whole by anonymity, crew and ship.
Critiques are very much appreciated.
Dec 4, 2012
Dec 4, 2012 at 11:14 PM UTC
I cannot forget with what fervid devotion
I worshipped the vision of verse and of fame.
Each gaze at the glories of earth, sky, and ocean,
To my kindled emotions, was wind over flame.
And deep were my musings in life's early blossom,
Mid the twilight of mountain groves wandering long;
How thrilled my young veins, and how throbbed my full *****
When o'er me descended the spirit of song.
'Mong the deep-cloven fells that for ages had listened
To the rush of the pebble-paved river between,
Where the kingfisher screamed and gray precipice glistened,
All breathless with awe have I gazed on the scene;
Till I felt the dark power o'er my reveries stealing,
From his throne in the depth of that stern solitude,
And he breathed through my lips, in that tempest of feeling,
Strains lofty or tender, though artless and rude.
Bright visions! I mixed with the world, and ye faded;
No longer your pure rural worshipper now;
In the haunts your continual presence pervaded,
Ye shrink from the signet of care on my brow.
In the old mossy groves on the breast of the mountain,
In deep lonely glens where the waters complain,
By the shade of the rock, by the gush of the fountain,
I seek your loved footsteps, but seek them in vain.
Oh, leave not, forlorn and for ever forsaken,
Your pupil and victim to life and its tears!
But sometimes return, and in mercy awaken
The glories ye showed to his earlier years.
1.6k
It didn't happen all at once, it was like a slow simmer. Or maybe even how a sunburn appears, it may have even felt the same. It was like a constant sting that burned every time we tried to fix it hurting oursleves more and more as time passed. The hollow feeling throbbed every kiss felt like a gut punch and I wasn't ready to fight you. We had the world and then suddenly we didn't. How could a love be as bright as the north star yet die out as fast as a birthday wish is made. Promises made of forever and happy ever after were spun and I swear to god ive been so in love with you that I look at you with pure love while all you'll ever look at me is like a friend or another notch in your tally board. I swear to god every time I said I loved you I meant it, there was such intensity behind those words that I am the one paralyzed unable to get up. Its like I am the one who was holding the gun but you were still the one that shot me bringing me to my knees begging for a little tenderness. It was like a slow simmer or maybe even how fast the summer disappears.
Oct 29, 2015
Oct 29, 2015 at 9:06 AM UTC
In the villa in Sharja,
A banyan tree stood, stuck to the wall of the building.
Mind throbbed as soon as it caught sight of it,
Touched it to my forehead in reverence,
Remembered my father who understood trees.
In the book she has kept closed,
It should be possible to still see
The memory veins of a leaf-
Plucked after touching its soul and seeking permission.
‘It is a sign of prosperity,
It cleanses the atmosphere’, Mary too said.
New tenants came in the room vacated by Priyan and Anjana
Jaya aunty and her husband said that they wore skull caps
Narayanan, wearing sacred thread and sandalwood paste on his forehead,
Anthony with rosary and sacred amulet
After them,
Youngsters of this type were not seen so nearby
One night, when I went out of my way to touch that tree,
I heard speech of a rhythmic nature
From the room of those who wore caps
It passed through my mind, ‘these are times when words become music.’
It was a Friday.
While watering Basil plants,
Saw the branches of the banyan on the ground.
Its leaves, like heart shattered..
Whitish veins drained of blood
my eyes hurt
As I ran to it,
Saw the tree,
Looking like a worshipper whose hands were cut
While crying, beseeching the heavens , arms outstretched.
Father,
You used to say that there were many types of trees
Which tree is used to make crosses to crucify humans, Father?
Oct 8, 2013
Oct 8, 2013 at 9:54 AM UTC
I
At night, I search for the wrench
I lift it off my nightstand
I lie down on the workbench
the cool weight held in my hand
what I must loosen first is my knee
lull myself to a state of repose
leg is a swollen trunk of a tree
placidity the pain soon outgrows
ache that is green
ache that is ivy,
ache that is wrapping
around me
entirely.
being disarming,
the way that a friend will--
in no way harming,
I pry up one tendril,
My ache and I have just locked eyes
I turn my bolt counter-clockwise
just one half turn.
making way t’ward release,
pain is adjourned
to finally find peace
II
And in the factory,
It seems I was wound too tightly
Deemed satisfactory
Now, I relieve pressure nightly
The bolt pushes in such a way
it leaves the metal bent
Relief is not given away
but instead it is lent
pain that is sharp
pain that goes squish,
pain that is swimming
around me
like fish.
The pain in my head
a pain bright white
Will surely spread
If not done right
My head and I sob, throb, and cry together
And then I finally sever the tether
spin one full revolution,
Though I know it's unwise,
Lets in nightmare pollution
Maybe last night’s reprise
III
At night, I will always search for the reasons
Why is it that bad things happen to good people
I lie down and lament each of the seasons
If it’s about church, I’m skewered on the steeple
Now plaguing me is my dear heart
O! Please don't think me frigid
It’s how to be, if you are smart
Walls that throbbed become rigid
want that is lace
want that is divine,
want that dissipates
completely
in time
Wincing at every twinge
Heart so hollow it awards me pain
Lace is fraying at the fringe
Meteor in my orbital plane
said it flutters and feels flighty
prescribed one spin righty tighty
Then, compact are the loves I hold,
Locked in my heart airtight
No space empty or left cold
I wish you all goodnight
Dec 3, 2020
Dec 3, 2020 at 5:06 PM UTC
Secrecy, how deep can the loyalty really be kept? In what moment is trust broken? Faces walk around so carelessly speaking stolen words they claim for themselves. All moments are being taken for granted is one may not realize their fighting destination. The meaning of life or death is different to many, where do we all meet? Or do we ever? There’s a very thin line between idolism and jealousy, when vain overpowers, it is then crossed. Love of family seems overrated to those who don’t have much to show for it. Young innocents become ***** at the thought of being helpless. Alone. Alone at last. Alone again. Alone day after day. Alone, hope rests between the eyes of each abandoned soul that walks the unknown house of which they wish was a home. Transforming every morning into something deceitful that burdens the ones who cared. Nights began repetitive notions that confused all that in the way, particularly ones’ self. Footsteps suffocated heavily, each step walked towards the past of the future. Thoughts filled with overwhelming disappointment, self-worth disappeared from confidence found deep within. Insecurities frightened to display beyond closed doors. No one knew the but all had knowledge, released inabilities throbbed from hand hold to hand hold. Embarrassment ponders the insides of beginning relation tolls. Wells ran dry of golden coins that sprung from a stronger meaning only the owner would have known. Skeletons quiver at the caterpillar sprouted from the once apprehensive butterfly **** and trampled on by humiliation. Zen became an escape of dreading weaknesses that were always sought. Sinking and sinking, vindication lost its power. Sinking and sinking, serenity was much further gone. Sinking and sinking, all faith tugged the threads that were already broken. Drowning minds spoke all the same, “please don’t let me fall.”
Feb 2, 2014
Feb 2, 2014 at 12:21 PM UTC
Was driving
To shivaraathri manappuram [1]
With idichakkas [2]
To meet you
One day.
Enroute
To a vow made one life
The two chakka dumpkins
Their smug demeanor
Drove me to chuckles.
Like guys
On a global tour
They
Waved buddies bubye
Babbled on
To the jackfruit trees
On the boulevard
Singing “salaama salaama…”
The jackfruit rap
Boisterously.
I was beside myself
With laughter.
The exertion
Exhausted my cheeks
I stopped near a shop
For a cigarette
Saw there,
Two packets
Of fried chakka chips
Among other snacks.
My chakka dumpkins
For you
Overwhelmed them
They broke into tears
They recalled
Their haughty ride
In a car once
Singing salama
A festering past
That throbbed with
The agony
Of getting torn to shreds
Of getting fried crisp
In boiling oil.
The chakka dumpkins
Were dumbstruck
They stopped singing
And began to cry
Looking upon their sisters
Sister, you have forgotten me!
An utterance from Khasak
Muffled the scene.
Sad at their plight
I held them close
My chakka dumpkins
For you
Forget it honey
Forget it dear
I patted them
Trying to stop their tears.
The chakka fries
And my darlings
Continued weeping
And wailing.
I smoked a cigarette
Went to them
And whispered in their ears
That I am consigning them
To you.
They laughed innocently
Showing their gums
They bid adieu to
The sisters
Promising
They would meet next life
I felt like
Laughing
And crying.
Laughing
And crying
I sang
Salama, salama
Salama….
Translation : Shyma P
Apr 12, 2016
Apr 12, 2016 at 2:04 PM UTC
I trained myself to hold my breath
beneath the surface of the nut-brown river
for three minutes and more.
My companions would watch
as I slipped from sight,
their own breath held as the seconds wore on.
Above and around them the riverbank was a lens
refracting a swarming jungle,
macaws paired and perfect splitting the blue,
tangles and torrents of green
and the liquid burble of oropendulas and caciques.
Why should anyone depart from this,
deliberately descend into the murk
for no more than a party-piece, a prank?
Because,
the river carried news,
the river throbbed with hidden life
it was the Andes and the ocean and all points in between
and down below the light and beauty
it was mine alone.
Feb 6, 2011
Feb 6, 2011 at 9:59 AM UTC
a message to every person who's name still echos in my mind and makes me shiver.
1. you were the first to give me a purpose. my body was small and your hands fit me almost as tight as your sheets. you were lost, and found home in the curve of my neck and the touch of my tongue and every story I dreaded to tell. you were a headache that throbbed in my teeth and crept down my throat. but I had a taste for a different type of pain.
2. you were nights without sleep for fear of the dark. you were the monsters in the closet and the dust along my bookshelf. you were The Calm Before The Storm that made me wish I was landlocked. you were venom in my veins and rope burns glowing along my throat. I've never believed in God but I pray for your victims when I watch you play life like a vicious game, and I still hope for your salvation.
3. you were a test I knew all the answers to but still proceeded to fail. you taught me to crave everything that was wrong. adrenaline has become the new form of oxygen. you are speed and I am the streets and everything inside of us aches to be free of the roles we are still forced to play. the lines in your palms are more familiar to me than my own, but you never let me hold your hand.
4. you were red in a world of black and white. I watched you fall like waves at my feet and I felt you pull back over time. you were the tides, you were the new moon covering me with shallow darkness, silent as I stumbled in the sand. you were the whistling wind pushing my hair over my eyes just so you could have the chance to pull it back behind my ears. you were salty kisses and warm skin, but you were too hot to touch.
5. you were a fairytale I so desperately needed. you gave me purpose like 1, sleepless nights like 2, had the same name as 3, and held thoughts as loud as 4 but a mouth just as silent. you were a thunderstorm in a four year drought, a fire in my mind, a force I could feel and never see. you held flashing lights and warning signs but I only squeezed my eyes closed even tighter. you are the scars along my wrists that show me I am so, so fragile. you are the suicide note waiting so patiently to be read, a reminder that I am not the only one who doesn't want to breathe anymore. but I would die for you.
Aug 26, 2013
Aug 26, 2013 at 10:05 PM UTC
maybe sometimes, you are trying to fall asleep.
and my words fall on you like snowflakes, antarctic and weighted. an igloo of what used to be.
lay there, frigid, and remember when our hearts throbbed for each other.
maybe they still do.
Apr 1, 2011
Apr 1, 2011 at 10:13 PM UTC
It's only 9:34 PM on a Sunday night
All of my people are getting drunk tonight
But I have an exam to study for right?
My brain doesn't look so bright
I feel like *****
Blue blue blue
They're the dullest colours I see
I can't be free
When these construction workers are stacking bricks in from of me
As they're mixing cement
I have to give my mind supplements
To save myself
From this imprisonment
There are millions of filaments incinerating my skin right through
I won't let myself keep burning into fumes
It stings! It stings! **** It stings!
Snap, I'm sitting on a flaming throne
Broken bones and blood is my red carpet
You all orbit around me
Like I'm the sun
And you are none
You are nine but the planets depending, feeding off of my combustion
I'm powerful now, I'm powerful even when the light turns off
The flames burn out
I am a dead star
But I can **** you in so far
Your body will explode
And I will feed off of all your parts
Nothing can burn me once more
I will **** you up even so that your mind weakens right in front of me
It will deteriorate and drive you insane
Your mundane thoughts will swap into the soil like air
And i won't care
About all your painful histories
Your miserable fuckery
I am here writing rhymes
Instead of doing equationa for maths
My visions are my equations right now
The sky is my sum
I don't have a formula
This is all something I haven't learnt at school
See, that place is a living graveyard
Kids do shards behind the bushes
Kush is laid on their sandwiches like its lettuce
They can't finish a sentence
Without bursting into laughter
They lost their eyes
It's galled at their feet
It is looking back at its disconnected body.
It's hilarious.
It's ******
If I fail at tomorrow's exam
Oh well let I be
I might as well join the detached kid
I don't need to be high on result papers
While I can be have hugh grader embedded on my face!
With no trace!
See now, I haven't been past third base
It's crazy
But the men are hunting for flesh
My man doesn't know how to hold a spear
Let alone my ******
I can be throbbed into at any time
They are everywhere
I can't talk to a man without receiving ****** remarks
They bark! Bark bark bark!
In my head it's all a question mark
I will not sacrifice my body to a reproductive *****
Not so easy
Even through nature asks it
It's a flower that blossoms without your seeds
I can be powerful with no reliance
No reliance.
Nov 9, 2014
Nov 9, 2014 at 8:10 AM UTC
I was born with an overwhelming empathy
for all creatures encompassing me,
a red heart ready to feel something
I’d never felt before,
I was born
with the ability to love,
and perhaps I’d no say in the matter
but the blood filled me no less and the strings
‘round my organs tugged and throbbed
and eagerly heeded the choir’s demands
I was born in a state of pure chaos, pure bliss;
I was born to look ahead and reminisce
I was born to the familiar it would seem,
the leaves I recognized when they fell from the trees
and how evergreens stayed so ever green;
I’d felt the life of rain in me,
death as cold as Canadian Rockies
all at once with the shelter of instinct
leaving behind nothing but footprints
and running for a different reason
into a cave that says
security and not
top-security penitentiary
I was born, learned and raw
in chaos and bliss,
I was born to look ahead and reminisce
Dec 5, 2011
Dec 5, 2011 at 8:55 PM UTC
i find no comfort here in the four walls i’ve always called home
home is where the heart is but mine’s long gone
my heart throbbed until my chest couldn’t take it
and it tore itself in half to quiet its beat
my heart is not whole anymore
this is not home anymore
and i wish it was possible to leave
leave the locked doors
the closed blinds
the sealed windows
leave the darkness that consumes me
and you
and the secrets we’ve kept since we learned to speak
i’d love to leave it all behind me
walk out the door
open the blinds
feel the wind rush through the windows
allow the sun to touch my skin and see me, feel me
the real me
but where would i go, i have no home
so instead i stay
stay locked up
stay closed
stay sealed
instead i stay and don’t take care of me,
inside these four walls
i’ve let my heart quiet
so not even i can hear its beat
Mar 9, 2018
Mar 9, 2018 at 11:26 AM UTC