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"threadbare" poems
( Sonnet ) Under the primrose stars, the lovers Lie abed, on green, threadbare croft Of sleeping daisy, clover and moss, Trails with hushed air, an embroidery So fine as to stitch blushing heart fall And wrap the waters full of quietude In graces, winding, soft, granulating Time, wings flutter and hum, winsome Sparks, fire white, flying as little suns Burst confetti, in sweet encampment, Of grass and sapling wood, innocents, Charmed are wholly twining, in moon Rise a lantern to the winking heavens, Out of their skins they are climbing.
0
May 11, 2017
May 11, 2017 at 1:06 PM UTC
Night Meadow
miles mean nothing to a heart that is pure words penned in grace, sent to ether give heartease to the overstretched sowing stiches of understanding in tapestry threadbare little suns and stars shining bright in love and hope from face unseen and adirondack chair gives strength to one down, from down under allows grief, the words needed the abilty to care for these simple gifts, no payment required from the heart open to care...
0
Jun 20, 2019
Jun 20, 2019 at 10:09 AM UTC
miles mean nothing
evening loneliness arrives at dawn and knocks on the dusty windowpane in the kitchen, i lie — with threadbare arms — against the shabby wooden cupboard frame this house is void of all electricity except for the light bulbs, the fridge, the T.V. and my steady-beating heart of rhythmic defeat lying naked across the tear-stained sheets if you come home and find that i am dead, perhaps some ***** dishes fell on my head but most likely, i'll be, in the living room gloom with a half-drunk bottle of wine to consume with emergency flares tied to both wrists, i'll leave you a smile, a sigh, and a kiss
0
May 25, 2016
May 25, 2016 at 7:52 AM UTC
suburban daydreams
You breathed your last breath from the air in this room; that threadbare Persian carpet holds flakes from your skin; hairs from your head corkscrew the dented cushions scattered and idly waiting on the sofa; bed linen scented with your sweat the goose down doona that stole your last warmth; sleep spit and tears human moisture that permeates the acrylic layers of your pillow; an eyebrow hair wedged in the tweezers; a clipped nail that flew off somewhere out of sight; that new toothbrush used only once; your flannel and towel still drying out; the wet press footprint on the bathroom mat; the talcum powdered slippers abandoned under the brass bed. Each moment of everyday we shed ourselves shed dead cells and renew - a cycle of shedding until the last shedding of ourselves. © M.L. Emmett
0
Aug 6, 2014
Aug 6, 2014 at 7:01 PM UTC
The Forensic Science of Grief
At dusk I hang up a worn blue work shirt that smells strongly of love of dirt of the earth melancholy, sweat yesterday's brews the blues, regret twenty cigarettes black breath of the bone moth old blood, moon dust spring pollen, summer grass, Autumnal **** winter's cold blast sea salt and pine needles mountain laurel, desert air my dog's hair, I swear I can't bear the thought of washing or throwing away all the stains, the growing pains the laughter, the sorrows these history lessons I need to get me through tomorrow.
0
Jul 29, 2017
Jul 29, 2017 at 7:58 AM UTC
Blue threadbare armor
*stacking the arrows in piles a triangle of fuego furnaces blaze fire infinite reminders of the morning after shafts of light drift from window panes remake our names in god’s slumbering veins from here to there a whisper or was it a word fellow companions have you heard the threadbare sisters took their turns climbing mountains in order that we could learn the ways of green hearted sun-scrapers sweet little dangers fellow death chasers full of music givers of blooming veils bouquets of snow and hail almond shaped eyes resplendent thighs and a mind as pure as a lake during an alaskan winter in the frozen splinter trees are taken from their roots the women are bleeding weaving you the meat and the story outsiders are cast from clay into statues with feminine bodies curving like cotton candy i choose to impress you repeat the compliments that land on empty stomachs string together words like a rosary of sweet nothings simple deeds give thrilling feats a chance to restore their honor purity is unwashed in ***** soil as i am cut from the cloth of the earth our shirts are pressed at birth white light forming fellowship dimples in the cheeks of the mother the earth’s bones torn out from under the way we made ourselves invisible the minute we realized our accents were noticeable our actions were abominable how could we ever repay the generosity we were treated to our ultimate needs are met by poetry upon a ridge a silent figure wept and held his head upon a bed of cement*
0
Jul 14, 2017
Jul 14, 2017 at 2:17 AM UTC
Arcturian women
*stacking the arrows in piles a triangle of fuego furnaces blaze fire infinite reminders of the morning after shafts of light drift from window panes remake our names in god’s slumbering veins from here to there a whisper or was it a word fellow companions have you heard the threadbare sisters took their turns climbing mountains in order that we could learn the ways of green hearted sun-scrapers sweet little dangers fellow death chasers full of music givers of blooming veils bouquets of snow and hail almond shaped eyes resplendent thighs and a mind as pure as a lake during an alaskan winter in the frozen splinter trees are taken from their roots the women are bleeding weaving you the meat and the story outsiders are cast from clay into statues with feminine bodies curving like cotton candy i choose to impress you repeat the compliments that land on empty stomachs string together words like a rosary of sweet nothings simple deeds give thrilling feats a chance to restore their honor purity is unwashed in ***** soil as i am cut from the cloth of the earth our shirts are pressed at birth white light forming fellowship dimples in the cheeks of the mother the earth’s bones torn out from under the way we made ourselves invisible the minute we realized our accents were noticeable our actions were abominable how could we ever repay the generosity we were treated to our ultimate needs are met by poetry upon a ridge a silent figure wept and held his head upon a bed of cement*
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56
Momentary mourning peace. Mama pours a glass of mulled wine, lights a scented candle                                (- "cherries on snow" -) and drinks to ol' Joan. Passed down with the jewellery box, somewhere in the will, the daughters receive the annual chore of roasting the turkey (delicious!) and the veggies (good job!) and (could you pass the?) breadsauce for their brothers and husbands huddled             on a threadbare sofa -- and a younger girl,             barely there, staring at a laptop screen. Mama's not festive - always too tired - barely celebrates, but orchestrates. Years barely there 'cause she's needed in their kitchen and someone's gotta cook can she please get a hand? and one chivalrous male puffs out his chest, takes one for the team, gestures to the girl with no discernible attention span and half-laughs an "ay, one day this'll be you! Best get in there while you're young!"                                                           ((A baritone chorus of laughter.)) "You outdid yourself on the turkey." "S'great, ain't it? Pass the potatoes." Sometimes here, sometimes Spain. We stay over. It's tradition: we're scattered across the country, maid duties are the least she can do. Never our kitchen or living room. Tiny. Messy. Unwelcoming. Come Boxing Day, Mama gives a bear hug goodbye and an "it's good to see you"; Because it is, she thinks. Thank you for inviting me to carry out your labour. I'm just grateful to be needed. A month of red 'SALE' tapes scouring the clearance shelves; overtime for extra cash scraped to afford the food she cooks you; paying half for gifts she'd brainstormed while Dad buys partial credit on the gift tag. We vanish from your house - like elves - by morning.
0
Dec 7, 2018
Dec 7, 2018 at 8:17 AM UTC
Mrs Claus & the Working-Class Christmas
Momentary mourning peace. Mama pours a glass of mulled wine, lights a scented candle                                (- "cherries on snow" -) and drinks to ol' Joan. Passed down with the jewellery box, somewhere in the will, the daughters receive the annual chore of roasting the turkey (delicious!) and the veggies (good job!) and (could you pass the?) breadsauce for their brothers and husbands huddled             on a threadbare sofa -- and a younger girl,             barely there, staring at a laptop screen. Mama's not festive - always too tired - barely celebrates, but orchestrates. Years barely there 'cause she's needed in their kitchen and someone's gotta cook can she please get a hand? and one chivalrous male puffs out his chest, takes one for the team, gestures to the girl with no discernible attention span and half-laughs an "ay, one day this'll be you! Best get in there while you're young!"                                                           ((A baritone chorus of laughter.)) "You outdid yourself on the turkey." "S'great, ain't it? Pass the potatoes." Sometimes here, sometimes Spain. We stay over. It's tradition: we're scattered across the country, maid duties are the least she can do. Never our kitchen or living room. Tiny. Messy. Unwelcoming. Come Boxing Day, Mama gives a bear hug goodbye and an "it's good to see you"; Because it is, she thinks. Thank you for inviting me to carry out your labour. I'm just grateful to be needed. A month of red 'SALE' tapes scouring the clearance shelves; overtime for extra cash scraped to afford the food she cooks you; paying half for gifts she'd brainstormed while Dad buys partial credit on the gift tag. We vanish from your house - like elves - by morning.
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46
*Day in Day out He sits on his bench No one goes near him Because of the stench **** **** White Lightening Despair I watch from my window It’s really not fair* So … I put on my coat Open the door Cross over the road Step up to the fore I tap him gently Take his hand Silently lead him To my witness stand As soon as were in My head’s in a spin Unsure what to do Please … Give me a clue? He then sits ME down On my threadbare chair Looks deep in my eyes So much love There to share My lips start to smile He touches my heart At last I’ve discovered My own golden cart He imparts me with tales Of a life filled with pain Not looking for sympathy For the dragons he’s slain He just wants to talk Connect with another Before long I realise This man is my brother My brother in arms My lost fellow man My point of existence My part in the plan This wretched man Has set me free To live this life With empathy My heart is open My *** is full I now have the courage Of a Sitting Bull I thank my guest And he thanks me I invite him back A S A P He doffs his hat He smirks that smirk And I just know Our love will work *Day in Day out He sits on his bench No one goes near him Because of the stench **** **** White Lightening Despair I watch from my window It’s really not fair*
0
Nov 27, 2010
Nov 27, 2010 at 7:29 AM UTC
Bench
My first gLove Lost on the bus Absentmindedly Or In the street Parted in the snow My stolen gLove Taken whilst my back Was turned My fleeting gLove Impaled by a stranger In the street On a spike For all to see My forgotten gLove Left lonely For too long My worn out gLove Threadbare From years of absent Emotion My Christmas gLove Ill fitting but warm And worn For a day My lost summer Lost summer Lost summer gLove Didn’t make the suitcase Home My gLove for life Soft yielding And strong These are the gLoves I have loved and lost
0
Feb 5, 2011
Feb 5, 2011 at 3:56 AM UTC
Poem about lost gLoves
Recoiled in one’s own world The pusillanimous heart beats faintly Holding onto the last thread of hope Among the threadbare fabric of neglect
0
Sep 12, 2014
Sep 12, 2014 at 11:50 PM UTC
Neglect
a storyteller's perspective, steppin' off the ordinary edge, into the unknown An unsent letter lay on the rustic log cabin floor A cold wind musta’ blown through the cracks the light comes in, where it laid fallen, half *** crumbled, yet never a wadded ball; never an unspoken thrown paper stone,  a befallen regret was all. Silently atilt and leaning against the canted wall's slant behind the gathered dust a squeaky hinged burl wood door A timeworn tarnished copper wind up clock roosted, an old lip smirched coffee cup time stood still; an empty bottle of gin sat near the bed post headboard where the ink stains and blotted spillings let the memories in. Stained pages torn and bent like fallen paper wings returned to the unread sender … postage due,   south a heaven sent ― A sullied envelope, gnawed and mouse chewed, for a nest of new beginnings ―                                                                just read:                   Lydia  ...                                   ... followed by a scribbled empty heart                The time aged brown tattered tablet paper left behind stifled like the unread heart it holds upon the threadbare pages of smudged tear’s ache and spilled gin The weathered rock hearth fireplace filled with spent ashes, hand rolled cigarette butts, traces of an aching lament; scratched up old vinyl records lay ***** and tired out, from a time of sweeter fallen fences, a musical bliss, and a lost angel's abandoned red slinky party dress,   aside a busted off black velvet high-heel stuck sullied in a hollow knothole in the ancient barn-wood floor a sparkly pearl pink jewel entangled in a spider web An unsent letter lay on the rustic cabin floor A cold wind musta’ blown through the cracks the light gets in The final unread words silently said:                                *"We lost our way,                                   it all went wrong,                                   it all turned bad"                              ..."This is the outcome when someone you love                                     up and throws you away"                              ...“I’ll reach out from the inside                                   I’ll rise up again and do without”                              ..."You went out into the world                                   with an untamed hankerin’ ―                                   like a carefree restless gypsy breeze                                                                  and come back worlds apart"* The Unsent Letter,                             just whispered words to the dust in the wind                                                                                     in quivering ink:                              ...*"how can I ever unremember you...?                                   a thrown stone sinks wordlessly as a rock...,                                   an old wood bucket with a rotten hole the heart,                                   fallen forgotten, rock bottom as an empty well"*                                         just signed:   ...   ❤  August                           January 1st, 2017 ... august ... wild is the wind  ♡
0
Jan 1, 2017
Jan 1, 2017 at 12:20 PM UTC
The Unsent Letter
a storyteller's perspective, steppin' off the ordinary edge, into the unknown An unsent letter lay on the rustic log cabin floor A cold wind musta’ blown through the cracks the light comes in, where it laid fallen, half *** crumbled, yet never a wadded ball; never an unspoken thrown paper stone,  a befallen regret was all. Silently atilt and leaning against the canted wall's slant behind the gathered dust a squeaky hinged burl wood door A timeworn tarnished copper wind up clock roosted, an old lip smirched coffee cup time stood still; an empty bottle of gin sat near the bed post headboard where the ink stains and blotted spillings let the memories in. Stained pages torn and bent like fallen paper wings returned to the unread sender … postage due,   south a heaven sent ― A sullied envelope, gnawed and mouse chewed, for a nest of new beginnings ―                                                                just read:                   Lydia  ...                                   ... followed by a scribbled empty heart                The time aged brown tattered tablet paper left behind stifled like the unread heart it holds upon the threadbare pages of smudged tear’s ache and spilled gin The weathered rock hearth fireplace filled with spent ashes, hand rolled cigarette butts, traces of an aching lament; scratched up old vinyl records lay ***** and tired out, from a time of sweeter fallen fences, a musical bliss, and a lost angel's abandoned red slinky party dress,   aside a busted off black velvet high-heel stuck sullied in a hollow knothole in the ancient barn-wood floor a sparkly pearl pink jewel entangled in a spider web An unsent letter lay on the rustic cabin floor A cold wind musta’ blown through the cracks the light gets in The final unread words silently said:                                *"We lost our way,                                   it all went wrong,                                   it all turned bad"                              ..."This is the outcome when someone you love                                     up and throws you away"                              ...“I’ll reach out from the inside                                   I’ll rise up again and do without”                              ..."You went out into the world                                   with an untamed hankerin’ ―                                   like a carefree restless gypsy breeze                                                                  and come back worlds apart"* The Unsent Letter,                             just whispered words to the dust in the wind                                                                                     in quivering ink:                              ...*"how can I ever unremember you...?                                   a thrown stone sinks wordlessly as a rock...,                                   an old wood bucket with a rotten hole the heart,                                   fallen forgotten, rock bottom as an empty well"*                                         just signed:   ...   ❤  August                           January 1st, 2017 ... august ... wild is the wind  ♡
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51
I held out my hands. I placed a drop of soap on each palm and took hold of my ***** spoon and washed it with my hands, cupping and spooning it like my gentle hands were trying to make it croon. Like it were mated and flipped and slapped against threadbare slacks. That spoon is cleaning me, is washing my hands as I wash its tarnished feet, it is forgiving me. For the scalding soups and bitter ice cream, and not washing it but watching it grow crusted, disgusted. And while I swoon for my spoon, and grinning the spinning dizzy grin of Love, I remember, and give thanks for my feast. This spoon feeds me like a child on Mother God’s lap, and kisses me with life, with food. This soap, and my hands, and this bubbling love between my spoon and I, it is clean. My soul is more clean with my spoon. Cleaner than dog’s saliva licking at old wounds, but that’s alright, cause everybody knows ******* love scars, dog. And women love beautiful spoons, maybe because of its viscosity, or its gentle curvature, or the deep loving laugh it invokes, when it sits on my nose. My spoon communion left me with pruned hands, bright eyes, and a coy smile for what flowers in my mind may bloom.
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Nov 8, 2012
Nov 8, 2012 at 2:31 AM UTC
Communion
Internal monologue, to self, a note: prose and poetry I wrote to what I loathe, every word I chose a potent seed of grief I sowed. Sturdy oak's branches, limbs, and stoic bones turning into woes of a weeping willow's roots overgrown and exposed. Grain of timber groans, bends and bows in billowing wind blown; a coat of leaves in ribbons, clothes, cloaking grove and hanging rope below; around my neck, coiled and closed, asphyxiating, chokes. Ungasping, thrashing throes, no breath can flow, slowly losing hope; devoted to an unspoken oath, towing this floating ghost and shadow of an ego dangling alone on threadbare throne, only home I've ever known. So what, to this world, do i still owe and why can't I just let go?
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Feb 9, 2024
Feb 9, 2024 at 2:21 PM UTC
Note to Self (Part 1)
Museums as art Art as museums Sail the trail to my mausoleum Psychopaths and physicists Psychiatrists and philosophers Philanthropists and pilots and painters
 Declare now, that these are our days – Our hours, and our days These are our city, our hours Our time, our days. 
This is our world – At 14:92 I landed here and claimed it And searched it and found it wanting Of civilization that I could so easily supply By means of wounds and iron And brawn and truth (and just a tiny touch of influenza darling) By means of our Lord, Who grants us all that we desire If only we **** enough of those he did not choose. This is our world – And we shall make it what we will Make it in our own image Teach it that innocence is not knowing the difference between right and wrong Raise it to hate no one But to love itself so deeply That all other love seems hateful in comparison. This is our child, love Yours and mine.
 Here the first shall be last And the last shall be first But once the first are last they shall be Last Last       Last And once the last are first They shall make it so they can never be last again This is our primitive accumulation Of necessary materialism Let’s cultivate matter To make objects that we can place on shelves And in cases – These are our cases And we love them as we love ourselves
 Museums as mass graves Mass graves as museums Kiss me in my mausoleum Priests and prisoners Prostitutes and prophets Pioneers and pilgrims and pagans
 This is our time – And we are dispensing it in spendthrift increments Buying threadbare bandages for our cavernous canyons Buying ample earplugs To seal in the silence So we can somewhat say “look there is peace – Look we have done it In our time it is accomplished” – 
 This is our peace – And we know it by the signs The lions and lambs lay quietly together In our brass-barred zoos For as long as shelves and cases Are intact and the first are first And the last are last And the civilized are organized and holy There is peace – Oh, look We made peace! And as for Solomon and Socrates – We take their words to weave through our new wisdom And when we re-chart the constellations We shall give them each a star And salute them once a year When they come around the universe Oh, look How wise we are! Mass graves as art Art as mass graves There have been no better days There has been no greater time Politicians and pornographers Professors and pirates Psychologists and pastors and pianists
 This is our time – And we are doing with it the very best we know how The last are toiling and trying And the first are trying to think to try – But there is a shortness in our hours And a violence in our peace There is inherent foolishness in our wisdom And disease in our cities And there is death upon our shelves and in our cases. This is our world – We crafted it and declared our truth to be true We sculpted this, our colosseum Please inscribe my mausoleum With “we know not what we do”
0
May 31, 2015
May 31, 2015 at 5:43 PM UTC
of dissolution and mausoleum blueprints
Museums as art Art as museums Sail the trail to my mausoleum Psychopaths and physicists Psychiatrists and philosophers Philanthropists and pilots and painters
 Declare now, that these are our days – Our hours, and our days These are our city, our hours Our time, our days. 
This is our world – At 14:92 I landed here and claimed it And searched it and found it wanting Of civilization that I could so easily supply By means of wounds and iron And brawn and truth (and just a tiny touch of influenza darling) By means of our Lord, Who grants us all that we desire If only we **** enough of those he did not choose. This is our world – And we shall make it what we will Make it in our own image Teach it that innocence is not knowing the difference between right and wrong Raise it to hate no one But to love itself so deeply That all other love seems hateful in comparison. This is our child, love Yours and mine.
 Here the first shall be last And the last shall be first But once the first are last they shall be Last Last       Last And once the last are first They shall make it so they can never be last again This is our primitive accumulation Of necessary materialism Let’s cultivate matter To make objects that we can place on shelves And in cases – These are our cases And we love them as we love ourselves
 Museums as mass graves Mass graves as museums Kiss me in my mausoleum Priests and prisoners Prostitutes and prophets Pioneers and pilgrims and pagans
 This is our time – And we are dispensing it in spendthrift increments Buying threadbare bandages for our cavernous canyons Buying ample earplugs To seal in the silence So we can somewhat say “look there is peace – Look we have done it In our time it is accomplished” – 
 This is our peace – And we know it by the signs The lions and lambs lay quietly together In our brass-barred zoos For as long as shelves and cases Are intact and the first are first And the last are last And the civilized are organized and holy There is peace – Oh, look We made peace! And as for Solomon and Socrates – We take their words to weave through our new wisdom And when we re-chart the constellations We shall give them each a star And salute them once a year When they come around the universe Oh, look How wise we are! Mass graves as art Art as mass graves There have been no better days There has been no greater time Politicians and pornographers Professors and pirates Psychologists and pastors and pianists
 This is our time – And we are doing with it the very best we know how The last are toiling and trying And the first are trying to think to try – But there is a shortness in our hours And a violence in our peace There is inherent foolishness in our wisdom And disease in our cities And there is death upon our shelves and in our cases. This is our world – We crafted it and declared our truth to be true We sculpted this, our colosseum Please inscribe my mausoleum With “we know not what we do”
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99
A dozen fellows draped in threadbare tread densely, Profligating goons in obsidian gowns gathered under rainbow moonshine shaking bronze hands, howling and ******   in the shambles of the moon,   rap'n and nod'n to the notes of midnight. The mellow marines mourned over malice, lionizing over lost ones, many howled venerated, exalted in wonder in  favor of their thrilling grace, and delight, and brilliance, and might! but some neighboring sticklers,     behaved haughty and in disdain,   of the crowdy Cavaliers bellowing echoes signaling out                  to the seers of the sea, singing to the wands overwatching the wedding, and ravens listened,    roving like noble patrolsmen. Traveleres and trainees at sea    humble and bright niave, and frieghtened in traverse,            volatile and toiling,            tireless, Lunatics, (laughing, laughing, laughhing,) Rumaging through rain, fireciely, rallying and rableroused, through towering halls of mohogony,      hefty and wholesome were their hearts though, beast of the woodsy edifice were foul and benumb scowling with contempt, haste to devide and devised to hindrance. Hence the heroes heed    to the valleys of rose, and violet, and strawberry fields of forever,  seeking Saint Nicholas, in the bustling Byzantium,       in the murky shadows of doubt.
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Sep 18, 2018
Sep 18, 2018 at 10:08 AM UTC
A Dozen Cavaliers At Sea
Summer's almost over, It's threadbare As your towel; The summer sands Are shifting, The beach is headed south. The initialed picnic tables Are stored for other outings; The concession windows Flapped now, The busker's shouting quelled. Sails are dropped Like maple leafs, The moon's rising Too soon; The night lights blaze Over pitch and field, Where sunshine Shone in June. Geese are wedging daily To escape the wintery gloom; I'll reacquaint With the hinter sounds Of lake winds And banshee loons.
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Aug 28, 2014
Aug 28, 2014 at 3:58 PM UTC
Banshee Loons
Bigger things are easier to see. You might miss a humming bird or bee. You won't miss a condor or eagle. The opposite is true for people. How can that be? If there's more of me, why am I impossible to see? Invisibility isn't a cloak or spell. It's your fat pants stretched thin and worn as hell. It's the T-shirt you never thought you'd fit now threadbare and torn in the armpit. There's just more of you to love, I thought the saying went. Well there I was feeling only torment. Faces fell when I said no, I'm not pregnant. Does love bloat like this body of mine? Does it get watered down like cheap wine? My back, my legs, everything hurt. My body just didn't work. If not by plane, by train, or car, I wasn't getting very far. I longed for someone to scoop me up, to cradle me and gently rock. I didn't fit in anyone's arms and briefly flirted with self harm. Twice at work I took to crying. It went unnoticed without my trying. The wrong solution looked too friendly and as of late, far too trendy. Left alone I pondered fate. If I died, I'd be dead weight. I felt stuck forever like dried cement. Sinking too low even to lament. I watched my waist size raise and fall with the tides. If the full moon swells with admiration, why was round me full of desperation?
0
Apr 16, 2018
Apr 16, 2018 at 10:21 AM UTC
Invisibili-T
Never have I been the best at hiding how I feel.  There is no peaceful game.  My face reveals the truth.  Never to be doubted.  Nothing left to wonder.  Still, I reign it in.  I stifle my reality in an attempt to keep you close.  So tender-hearted beneath that thickening shell.  The shell I penetrated somehow.  Once you found me in your heart, you pushed with all your might.  Trying to get me out.  I cannot be budged. Yet, I am not free to love you.  You refuse to let me be yours in theory or practice.  You love me, but not by choice.  Fear of the possibility of pain keeps you at bay.  Yet saving yourself from pain has deemed my own inconsequential.  For running from me pulls out my heart.   **Pushing me away What's best, or just what's easy Burns holes in my soul** Not one to take the easy way out.  Suffering to love you.  There is no expectation of love requited.  There is nothing but a dream, part memory part wishful thinking.  Hot needles still poke at me, slowly breaking me down.  Weakening my very being with the sharp jabs of stinging words or careless action, or worse...absolute inaction.  I have learned to stop expecting the "Morning Sunshine" or "'Night Darlin'" that used to brighten each day.  Those thoughtless things, the tiny nothing things that let me know I was on your mind.  So far from nothing those nothings were.  Days and nights seem incomplete in their absence.  Weaning to make your days bearable makes mine unendurable, empty, and melancholy has come to underlie all things.   **Joy of love melts ice Heat smothered by a tear cloud Threadbare soul survives** Challenges faced sideways leave blind spots. Choices made by indecision.  Letting mistakes be made, watching as they choose wrong. I see the truth and know what I know.  Everything is aligned for my own misfortune.  For as a bystander, I lay no claims.  Anything I do will hasten the inevitable.  So I let the weaning drip down to nothing.  Reluctantly I watch as you disappear with my heart in hand.  I stood firm as you ran away in place.  You turned to me, you needed me, you loved me.  As the clouds dissipate and the sun creeps over the horizon, With the blue sky I turn to mist. Slowly fading to the past.  A ghost of could've been, used to be, and never was **Surrender takes time                         Reluctantly relinquished                                                I will fight no more**
0
Oct 7, 2011
Oct 7, 2011 at 12:36 AM UTC
So the Story Goes (a Haibun)
Never have I been the best at hiding how I feel.  There is no peaceful game.  My face reveals the truth.  Never to be doubted.  Nothing left to wonder.  Still, I reign it in.  I stifle my reality in an attempt to keep you close.  So tender-hearted beneath that thickening shell.  The shell I penetrated somehow.  Once you found me in your heart, you pushed with all your might.  Trying to get me out.  I cannot be budged. Yet, I am not free to love you.  You refuse to let me be yours in theory or practice.  You love me, but not by choice.  Fear of the possibility of pain keeps you at bay.  Yet saving yourself from pain has deemed my own inconsequential.  For running from me pulls out my heart.   **Pushing me away What's best, or just what's easy Burns holes in my soul** Not one to take the easy way out.  Suffering to love you.  There is no expectation of love requited.  There is nothing but a dream, part memory part wishful thinking.  Hot needles still poke at me, slowly breaking me down.  Weakening my very being with the sharp jabs of stinging words or careless action, or worse...absolute inaction.  I have learned to stop expecting the "Morning Sunshine" or "'Night Darlin'" that used to brighten each day.  Those thoughtless things, the tiny nothing things that let me know I was on your mind.  So far from nothing those nothings were.  Days and nights seem incomplete in their absence.  Weaning to make your days bearable makes mine unendurable, empty, and melancholy has come to underlie all things.   **Joy of love melts ice Heat smothered by a tear cloud Threadbare soul survives** Challenges faced sideways leave blind spots. Choices made by indecision.  Letting mistakes be made, watching as they choose wrong. I see the truth and know what I know.  Everything is aligned for my own misfortune.  For as a bystander, I lay no claims.  Anything I do will hasten the inevitable.  So I let the weaning drip down to nothing.  Reluctantly I watch as you disappear with my heart in hand.  I stood firm as you ran away in place.  You turned to me, you needed me, you loved me.  As the clouds dissipate and the sun creeps over the horizon, With the blue sky I turn to mist. Slowly fading to the past.  A ghost of could've been, used to be, and never was **Surrender takes time                         Reluctantly relinquished                                                I will fight no more**
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12
i could not hold on anymore to the desperate plea of the futile ones who live off another wallet so i set out that night for the south to find the great parking lots where i might find a space and place to rest my weary head where i might find a place to be safely reckless with her potions and instruments but the violin she played spun a queer note and i knew that if i did not go on with whatever she wanted she would be the end of me the  end of poor poor me gather my slim riches in my carpetbaggers coat and picked up the threadbare bag that had all the steam-pipes and tools for making a new titanic lets sink it right this time we ended up just east of Pensacola in a fairytale land of flea markets trying to barter our yesterdays for a bowl of thin soup today gather my threadbare deadlock hippie chick companion and counseled her against talking too loud against the tourqouse monsters and she told me i was just nervouse and stripped away the rationalizations to show that the fat man is only selling tickets to the free show so i follow her having made up my mind that she sees the reality of this sandy soil wasteland we ended up leaving Pensacola and with a quick prayer we were on the the boat to the Bahama with our lives intact maybe next time we will escape maybe next time you will come back with another woman stead of me and i said that's a possibility that wouldn't make either of us happy but that's the way it should be sometimes life doesn't always make sense well most of the time it dont
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Oct 8, 2013
Oct 8, 2013 at 6:15 AM UTC
fairytale land of flea markets
i could not hold on anymore to the desperate plea of the futile ones who live off another wallet so i set out that night for the south to find the great parking lots where i might find a space and place to rest my weary head where i might find a place to be safely reckless with her potions and instruments but the violin she played spun a queer note and i knew that if i did not go on with whatever she wanted she would be the end of me the  end of poor poor me gather my slim riches in my carpetbaggers coat and picked up the threadbare bag that had all the steam-pipes and tools for making a new titanic lets sink it right this time we ended up just east of Pensacola in a fairytale land of flea markets trying to barter our yesterdays for a bowl of thin soup today gather my threadbare deadlock hippie chick companion and counseled her against talking too loud against the tourqouse monsters and she told me i was just nervouse and stripped away the rationalizations to show that the fat man is only selling tickets to the free show so i follow her having made up my mind that she sees the reality of this sandy soil wasteland we ended up leaving Pensacola and with a quick prayer we were on the the boat to the Bahama with our lives intact maybe next time we will escape maybe next time you will come back with another woman stead of me and i said that's a possibility that wouldn't make either of us happy but that's the way it should be sometimes life doesn't always make sense well most of the time it dont
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42
It's telling looking through the window’s eyes ;  a room with a paling grey glass view befogs the clouds reign inside the storm Often feeling misbegotten regret for the unfiltered passing glimpses, whetstone honed and splayed ; raw hues of a latent life exposed There's an uncertain hidden shame in the unheard truth starving out in the cold; dwelling in a petrifying silence of a common hunger the lonely do ache    Merciless hunger pangs manifest and shake with an unrelenting bitter taste ; loneliness grapples and grips like a silent earth quake rattling a rib caged heart — writhing as Autumn bares the trees    A jagged ambiguous fault line ripples through the hollow echo ; a bolt of lightning caught in a bottle strikes — silently contained swallowing the unspoken words in a greater good This broken merry-go-round keeps turning round and round; the great mandala spinning on like a worn out hamster-wheel without a conscious trace of going anywhere out there The place you come from is gone when you leave it — even if you really never feel you were from anywhere but a thousand unmarked mileposts from out here somewhere adrift; a pilgrimage towards understanding why sometimes I don’t know if I know who I am — or could have been — waiting on a threadbare prayer One-day the winds of change will shapeshift — bye and bye ... "When the light that's lost within us reaches the sky" Jesse Stillwater November 2018
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Nov 1, 2018
Nov 1, 2018 at 2:16 PM UTC
As Autumn Bares the Trees
When words fail and the song dies in your soul The soft cushion weighs heavy, threadbare, when Dust invites the attic attack to the last memory stroll A fretful protest march accompanying the wood grained heart You noticed the space in short supply, with tight breath, the Expert bargaining skills have begun, bypassing The weak hearts, those that are still journeying Their healing held up in tight palms of moistoned skin And the slide into another day begins, dreadfully With arched pain barriers drumming their morning Beat. Occupational hazard was on the rampage Cracking skull caps from their skinned residence I shone a light into the acute grey tone of those Hearts, those whose shapes lost conviction as the light Shot arrowed tongues from the deaf interiors of wise men Out on the town of feeble failings, they held nothing as their companion
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Mar 2, 2013
Mar 2, 2013 at 7:15 AM UTC
The Lost
i woke with a **** and a windpipe full of butterflies, so i swallowed them down to my chest my stomach and below and it was then that i realized they weren't butterflies but backward flies that turn to maggots and eat dead things so it was then that i realized i was dead, in between that chasing-my-breath consciousness and sepia splotched dream which featured my favorite human being waking me, winding me up... hey saige, come on, so i unlocked my eyes even though i knew it was my little brother all along... bright cobwebbed windows at my feet and brighter fringe above me brushing my forehead, like fingers he leaned over me, nudged me hugged me, come on saige... i began to rise, which is why he stopped me, that's when he kissed me, and that's when i forgave him because i knew it was an accident except for, that was when he did it again... my lips inside his, and i kept my eyes open kept telling myself to just kiss back, since we'd already ruined everything, because that was all he wanted because maybe we could go back, maybe we'd still be inseparable if i hadn't screamed, enough! maybe nightmares are second chances at being better best friends... i was torn worn threadbare and i felt it in every fiber of me lying there, but i couldn't pull away and i've never wished to hurt him, so i couldn't push, either just clamped my eyes shut, as he did the same with his mouth... and that was when i woke without a soul nor a shame save for the maggots in my veins
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May 5, 2018
May 5, 2018 at 2:53 PM UTC
dying to forget
Unto whose use the pregnant suns are poised, With idiot moons and stars retracting stars? Creep thou between—thy coming’s all unnoised. Heaven hath her high, as Earth her baser, wars. Heir to these tumults, this affright, that fray (By Adam’s, fathers’, own, sin bound alway); Peer up, draw out thy horoscope and say Which planet mends thy threadbare fate, or mars.
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2.8k
Kim
These days I am too cold My palms are at rest Down for the long winter My coordination and dexterity will hibernate And I'll cloak this poor body With anything I can An almost married woman Clings to the hems of my sleeves With thin fingers With scissors There to cut away the warm wool With wild eyes and a bitter mouth She gathers my coat in a basket Unravels all the careworn fibers To cast upon her empty loom As though she'd spun them Casts off newly sewn kisses Threadbare affection Muttering crossly about the weather And how the sun does not melt the snow She is only my friend when She can touch my bare wrists Give me white hot iron to hold And ask me if I'm warmer Only my friend when She can graze my skin in surprise Wrap my hands up with stiff yarn And ask me what burned them
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Nov 17, 2014
Nov 17, 2014 at 11:27 AM UTC
The Gatherer.