"thounsand" poems
Shaking hands
I turn to friends and weep
about the loss that did not even happen
yet
To me the everpresent threat of it
looms over me
and to get rid of it I really would
have to get rid of my own self
In my heart's shelf there stand
a thounsand dusty photographs of loss
Once tossed and smashed
I now feel numb when I remember
How those kids left
Bereft of all that usually helds up
a healthy rationality I stop
and stumble
Maybe -
a tiny flicker burning in between the dust -
maybe this time it could be different
Maybe this time
there will be clarity
and - rusting in the chambers of my heart -
the images will softly leave this rhyme
and drift apart
just like they should.
Just leave my heart.
Nov 12, 2014
Nov 12, 2014 at 8:31 AM UTC
Go ignore yourself, go be someone else,
Say it’s all okay, smile another day.
smile, inside you’re crying,
Laugh, inside you’re dying.
Say it’s just a moment, it’ll go in a minute,
hide away your feelings, bottle all emotions.
You keep hearing questions, questions you can’t answer,
You don’t know the answers, growing sick and tired.
Go ignore your friends, possibly the best,
watch em walk away, from this utter fake,
Doesn’t know themselves, doesn’t know what to say.
Smile, there’s no tomorrow,
laugh, there’s no today.
They don’t know you, darling like I do.
Ignore the silent voices, mute yourself you’re silent,
watch as you scream and shout, look there’s not a sound.
Go ignore you’re family, they don’t mean a thing,
No it’s all ok, they‘re just everything to you.
Go avoid your father,
just cause he will hate you, if he only knew,
who you are today, such a disappointment,
Bad taste , bad excuses, god you’re really hopeless.
Go avoid your mother,
Yes avoid her questions, go ahead keep you’re distance,
Watch her sit in silence, watch it you’ll lose her too.
The world still turns and turns,
the worlds still in its orbit.
We’ve got a billion thounsand heads,
millions loosing their sleep.
And a billion thousand hearts,
millions of them hurting.
I am only one,
in billion thousand souls,
So insignificant,
So irrelevant.
Apr 21, 2019
Apr 21, 2019 at 2:27 AM UTC
Watch myself into the broken mirror,
thounsand reflections of my face,
and all of them are fail.
Their eye's are open,
but still I'm not awake.
I drown myself in tears,
sink down where no one can hear,
seeking for the light and hope,
they all remain silent.
I buried myself into the sand,
sand of the time which drift away,
reaching for the edge of this life,
it cuts, it's hurting me.
As I walk through with,
discolored tunnel vision.
Crippled by sorrow,
I wish I never existed.
So incompleted, so empty.
refill me with life,
beacuse I only know how to die.
Nobody needs me, neither do I
Dec 16, 2017
Dec 16, 2017 at 8:32 AM UTC