"thandi" poems
Ek metro, saanp si guzar rahi hai kuch duur
Ek nabh faila hai uske upar - Neela sa kaala
Ek chaand chamak raha hai uss nabh mein
Kuch baadal sarak rahe hain paas mein uske
Usi metro ki tarah par dheere zara
Thandi hawayei hain.
Usme goonjta mera aaj khada
Kuch thandak hai inn hawaon mein
Aur bohot sara sukoon bhara
Aisi hi hoti hai wo chaand ki thandak?
Jinhen sunte, apna bachpan beet gaya
Kya sheetalta swarg ki aisi hai kahin?
Jisey suna kayion ka jeevan guzar gaya
Kya raambaan sukh yahi toh nahi
Kya kamdhenu vriksha aisa tha kabhi
Kya Ramcharitmanas mein hanumat
Ka Rambhakti amrit lagta tha yun hi?
Aisa hi amritmay bachpan mein,
yaad hai mujhko lagta tha
Zameen se shuru uss lambi khidki
Se yahi chaand chamakta dikhta tha
Mama sa ban chup shant bhav se
Kuch baatein meri sunta tha
Kyunki khud bhumi par bistar pe so
Holi mujhe khilayi thi
Khud bhookhe reh uss ke paiso
Se mere bhai ko idli chakhayi thi
Bohot pasand thi usko uski idli
Aur rangbhari mujhe holi meri
Kya kabhi unhen main unka wapas
Ye rinn chukta kar paungi
Kya kabhi unnsi balwaan main ban kar
Unke liye itna kar paungi?
Kya usi chaand ki thandak si khushiyan
Unki jholi mein bhar paungi?
Kya bhool maaf karne ki hadd
Ko paar kar kar ke thake nahi wo?
Kya raat bhar bhi jagkar subah
Hans dawa banna bhoole nahi wo
Kya insaani roop mein hain
Bhagwan, "maa baap" kehlate jo?
Nov 29, 2019
Nov 29, 2019 at 10:16 AM UTC
I have yet to see the full wonder of God.
Like a big, colourful butterfly... with each flap of its wings a new colour is revealed.
I'm amazed and in awe. Words fail to capture what rests in my heart.
With every thought, my heart smiles and swells with excitement.
To know that this God I hear about... knows me loves me and created me.
Me. Thandi. Weird and awkward... He still sees me and calls for me. Pursues me and astonishes me with His mystery.
I'm amazed that I am His child and that He actually wants the best for me.
Where have I been this entire time... away from this truth?
Where have I been looking, what have I been searching for because I'm overwhelmed by this truth.
It has grabbed my heart and captured my spirit... to remember exactly who Jesus is and what He did for me.
What the scriptures say resound the heart of Jesus and I'm so excited to know Him.
I am too happy to know Jesus.
I can't believe I could've missed this unspeakable joy. This freedom, this victory.
What have I been looking for? A genie in a box, a saviour chilling at a street corner, a make-believe god who is powerless?
What have been waiting for, hoping in, praying for?
Now I see, now I know... there is no other place my soul would rather be.
Nothing the world gives compares to this.
Apr 19, 2017
Apr 19, 2017 at 4:59 AM UTC
Teri talaash e nazar
Ghumsum si ek hasi
Chand ka mukhra
Dil e tanhaiyaan
Rooh ko mat tadpa o janiya
Dheere dheere se aa
Aur Naja Naja kanhi dur
Mere dil e dooriyon
Khud se khafa itna
Ki dard ko pi liya gulmohar ki tarah
Rang rang me pyaar ko dhoondta
Mein pagal deewana
Kabhi ish sadak kabhi os sadak
Jalti dhoop me chalta yeh mann...
Thandi kohre ki tamanaah liye...
Jan 10, 2018
Jan 10, 2018 at 11:06 PM UTC
To a person I once felt deeply connected to. He was a gem :
***************************
Re-inviting the forgotten emotion of bliss, my heart has accepted but you are still greatly missed.
Had I erased the thought of a better union, from past sinners, selfish liars?
I'd been taught by them trust is only visible in fairy-tales, told by expert lips ejecting no remorse.
I still say...so hardened is my heart, I can't hear my soul-mate's knock.
Cemented by the deceit I was fed by those I'd hoped to grow with.
This love is a myth, not understood nor respected...hard to grasp with one breath.
But...you came along, engulfed me with unfamiliar warmth then left to sort yourself out...
Now you have sneaked your voice back into my head, leaving me wishing you remained more than a friend, the forces seem to disregard us sinners and just lead us to sad dead ends.
We dream of rare garments and jaw-dropping bank statements...I dream of having your face as my daily sight, happiness embedded in my eyes from your humble treatment.
I wish to see more of you, live knowing we walk on the same earth and value your own place of birth.
How you see me amazes me, maybe you don't see me as being amazing.
Your actions have been contradictory to your words that fulfilled me.
Once again I wonder...exactly where do you fit in my life painting.
Behind my pains and years of hoping, wishing I too would find a soul-beauty like you.
Or maybe you'd be the speck of dirt ruining my colours and joys of my life, forcing me to completely expel you from my sanity.
You'd become my partner-to-be, letting my lips celebrate the beauty of your name,
letting the random know about this special being that set my soul aflame.
My Ray of Light.... Forever my favourite, the turmoil’s and joy, have come and gone but how special you are to me will always be without a doubt.
Thandi Xaba
Oct 3, 2013
Oct 3, 2013 at 2:39 AM UTC
The bitter truth of us never entwining,
Leaves gaps of despair, clearly visible like new days dawning.
I’d pictured love a rose-embedded comfort terrain.
My being longs for your thoughts, sights highlighted only with rusted pain.
Words comfort me, sooth my swollen eyes from this visible strain.
Grieve only when I’m at rest,
Cover me with your warmth, not promising all that’s remained n the past.
Involve me in your steps in life,
As I will whole-heartedly encourage you to thrive.
Is our future visible, am I appearing artificial?
Some how all that’s sculptured on you is unmistakingly beautiful.
Your character somehow attractive,
Smart and attentive, all you posses is angelic.
Unseen joy longs to ensure to escape and grape your soul,
Leaving glimmers of my wishes to better mankind encrusted on your being as a whole.
Reside in my poems,
Seems like my visions of our cuddle remain far from my firm hold,
Already bluntly told, never dream for gold.
When it seems I’m only capable of unleashing hurts and buried and old.
Is it a never-ending marathon?
Ran only by the luscious and slim many, which seem to win in millions.
Should my energy in binding its rich ends with yours.
Fight the resistance, press on despite the harsh unspoken course.
Have I lived to the fullest?
Seen and walked with bright souls, graced their sought-after importance.
How we wish to be loved.
Captured, taken to worlds only created melodic words.
Spin my inner-thoughts into a twirl,
Drive out all my passions, fulfilling my thirst for love and the feel of sweaty palms rubbing away the dizzy butterflies in my stomach.
A relation of intimacy and involvement slow yet growth being frantic.
Am I holding on to the impossible?
Maybe all you house is regarded false, recruiting girls naïve and gullible.
Streams of warm waters easily wet my face.
What could have shaped my out-come left me crushed and wishing for better-looking features.
A dim future, without your existence in it, one might as well not prosper.
3 Feb 2008 Thandi Xaba
Oct 15, 2013
Oct 15, 2013 at 4:07 AM UTC
I paid her a visit this morning. And she appeared cringed and curled in her dried tears.
How strong are the fears, a continuous replay of the terror can not bring closure.
She looks at me and envies what she sees, longs to have the joy that my heart beams.
How can someone have been soooooo lost, so gone into the frost...of self-despair and minor depression.
Never easing tension, that re-appears when the flood of memories take center action.
She appears unaware of my visit. Her little imagination, ruined and distorted seemed to be detached from her own self-created reality.
Maybe paying her a visit was not a good idea.
Perhaps seeing her scars...some healing pretty well, was not too great of an idea.
What else was I hoping to find in the life of a ****** battered and lost in the moment of fake love and imaginary fun.
Her friend once told me that during her darkest times, she buried herself in her journals.
I could believe that. No matter how hard, that is where her heart remained.
I paid her visit this morning. And found she no longer existed.
Her torn dress lay bare on the ***** floor and her shoes where not in sight, traces of her dull scent was no-longer lingering in the imprisoned mind.
She had fled. Left this prison for something more meaningful. She has ruled out rehearsing and cursing a past she can never change.
This morning, I paid Thandi a visit. The old me has turned into a vapor, lost in the ever blowing wind of humanity.
Her memory wall is smeared and ruined, blurred by the many encounters she endured.
This morning, during my visit I realised that that Thandi does not exist. She was once a loser lost in the wilderness.
For two or so years she was building the house that will eventually collapse on her.
For the longest time, she had never held a mirror to her face or even to her soul.
She had never known a real laugh, nor felt real emotions.
For all those days, she drowned and drowned and drowned until there was nothing to drown her. Instead her end killed her.
This morning I soared with the creatures of the air as I released that Thandi is no-more.
No-more around to taunt, terrorise and belittle me.
Torture, lie and even destroy me.
I paid a visit to an image of who I was, where I was and what I had become....and now, it nourishes me to know I am free.
Dec 26, 2015
Dec 26, 2015 at 4:38 AM UTC
Akkha khola te saamne tu hove,
Rabb tou aiyo dua mangdi ve.
Zindagi da koi mol ni tere baigair,
Tere baajo adhuri aa teri heer.
Tere ch mai apda khuda labheya,
Qismat wali aa je tu mera saaya baneya.
Har koi kise di majburi ni samjhda,
Par tu har vele mainu labhda.
Kise shayar tou ohda dard na pucheyo,
Dard nu vi inni khubsurti naal aakhe oo.
Ki sabnu pyaar ** jave,
Tere dil ch thandi chawa ve.
Shukar dateya tera,
Khushi aa ki oo sitara mera.
Aasmaa tou tott ke mere jholi paaya,
Rooh ch meri sirf ohi samaya.
Tuhadi dewa mai ki missal,
Tussi ** hi bemisaal.
Zindagi da har ik panna rangeya tussi,
Tuhadi mukhde te hove har pal khushi.
Nov 13, 2019
Nov 13, 2019 at 8:36 AM UTC