"terrored" poems
Ghostly figure
Full of woe
Holding out a hand
Cold air
Drowns the lungs
Shatters the heart
Cries of help
Tin foil hug
Never stops
Invisible chains
Shivering spine
Screeching throat
Terrored spirit
No hope
No one
No one there
May 18, 2014
May 18, 2014 at 11:12 PM UTC
She’s perfect, isn’t she?
That girl in front of you.
Barely finite lines of gold and ochre
Pure as thoughts from her head
Luna-cloaked and markless
Kohl and oak descrying
The haze and high of your waking breaths
Both in substance and in pleasure.
Just what you always wanted.
Not me.
My brief and ebon-neared lines
Murked by impure hazes
Luna-pocked and touched
Kohl and oak, but too-hard trying
A breeze, gentle and cautious to remove the dream
And give truth tangibility.
Much too real for you.
Perfect.
Snow-goddess shoulders covered
Just because you possess them
Luna-soul untouched, unseen,
Just for your security
Empty breathing, nodding crown
Ensynchroned, timed, with yours
Every face, and every line
Unbroken marble replica
Of air
How dare I.
Goddess shoulders bare as when I please
You could not possess them
Luna-soul unsecreted but,
Before you and your battering, unashamed
Swimming, messy, living within my crown,
Out of step and of my mind
Every inch, an inch of mine
How dare I be unbroken art
Unbroken art of Earth
Of air.
Twisting 'round your fingers
Curved into your body and your brain
Bent whichever way you opt to bend her
Over, under, and around.
Into pain and pain-ed pleasure
But always pain in pleasure and pleasure from pain
Both and neither
Either and physical or transcendental
Always and never in your purpose
Rarely and often from your desires.
And she's so willing, the wind.
Servility incarnate
Submissive, crawling, pleasing unto you
Easy girl
But only to your touch
Lest she be a *****
Formless, unreal shadow,
But somehow air that no one else may breathe.
Of Earth.
I awoke in formless panic in a cold bare room
After heart-pounding, frozen-dreaming
Of how you left me in numberless shades
Of black and blue and gray
I had terrored and cowered
Wondering if my strength would crumble
Ever seeing you on your knees.
Not because I fix on that
Just because I felt afraid.
Because you never laid a finger on me
No, you never had to
The Luna's cloak will mark itself
When the core is hollowed cold.
Yes, so perfect
Is she?
Just the way you like her.
Insubstantial, shapeless
No rigidity or life
Submissive, satisfying
Yes, the daydream on your screen
That you try to say that you don't need
Is everything that your earth desires
For she is air and you are dirt
All that the breeze can give to ground
All that nameless women can give to you.
Feb 12, 2015
Feb 12, 2015 at 3:37 AM UTC
The whole time,
I was running as fast as I could, consumed by the flames that only knew that they should whisper
—————————————————
to just run
—————————————————
just run away,
—————————————————
that they should lick me
to get a taste
and desire me forever,
—————————————————
that they should laugh
to keep me fleeing,
—————————————————
so away and away,
—————————————————
to keep me fearing
for my life and even
other lives,
—————————————————
so
many
lives
—————————————————
enough
that in a terrored moment,
I couldn't remember
if they were my own,
—————————————————
and at the end of the edges
that I just kept running through,
—————————————————
even though
there was nothing left for me
to see or feel,
nothing left to convince me
that safety was only steps away
if I could please,
please
just keep taking them,
—————————————————
I was stricken,
impaled on
the thought,
the horrified suspicion,
some feeling bent on attacking me too,
the final flagship of my guilt,
—————————————————
a death speech,
—————————————————
that maybe I was leading those flames instead.
—————————————————
Where should we have gone?
Dec 10, 2019
Dec 10, 2019 at 9:15 PM UTC
My thoughts are grim and dark,
Of that terrored night in the park.
I can't help but cringe as I,
Remember the night I tried to die.
At the lowest of my power,
That the night of my darkest hour.
I momentarily escaped my soul,
Abandoned myself, lost control.
An hour spent at dead sprint,
The clouds finally catching the hint.
Thunderous drops beating the path,
Synced in tune to my crimson wrath.
The lightning seemed to illuminate,
All of my branching, shadowy hate.
Fury seething in blue-eyed shrouds,
Matched the roiling, blackened clouds.
I felt the burning in my legs prevail,
Collapsing off the lakeside trail.
Headlong into a chilly black,
A liquid greed began it's attack.
Sodden clothes pulling down,
Soaked jacket just begging to drown.
A thousand bubbles struggle to rise,
Mind considering this odd demise.
To never feel her pain again,
To abandon the temptation of sin,
To leave this wretched world behind,
To finally meet others of my kind.
These thoughts flashing in my brain,
Convincing to never breath again.
So beautiful was the lightning above,
A more perfect grave I could think not of.
With peaceful mind and closed eye,
My angel watched the old me die.
He stood there looking down with love,
Praying for intercession from above.
Hitting bottom, something changed.
Tortured soul no longer deranged.
I remembered the beauty in her face,
That I came from a happy place.
The lightning above now inspiration,
To abandon this weak, watery temptation.
Through twelve feet I struggled to rise,
The angel answering my new cries.
An eternity spent without breath,
Blacking out on the verge of death,
Finally floundering to the blessed air,
Limbs trembling, but without despair.
I somehow pulled myself up to the path,
That two minutes ago felt my wrath.
Now felt nothing but loathing disgust,
Having broken my own sacred trust.
Struggling on to hard park bench,
The storm could do no more to drench,
No fury was left in a single bone,
I was finally ready to atone.
I could never again lose control,
Never let anger blind my soul.
No more to fight, time to remake,
Reborn within a parkside lake.
Returning soaked at four in the morning,
My parents gave a concerned warning,
The hazards of being out in a storm.
Then brought some coffee to keep me warm.
Sep 29, 2014
Sep 29, 2014 at 2:02 AM UTC
Above the black, I'm trapped beneath the white.
Time slips away, past my distracted sight.
My mind, clusters all of my pain and my fright,
They tangle as one with life's cold endless night.
I reach for stars that used to guide, used to teach.
As I Begged for my cleansing while soaking in bleach.
I trusted in the magic of the moon, now I see.
It's nothing more than a rock, that I know I can't reach.
My Quantum perceptions, once clear as the day,
Elude from my vision, like dreams, they drift away.
Every feeling is just harsh. Each thought runs astray,
My body outlives the suffering my spirit's slow decay.
Hung swaying, for all to see, can't live a disguise.
My Agony is screaming, but at a deaf, silent sky.
Through fractured, foggy lenses, I see only hidden lies.
The cosmos entrapped behind the cage of my eyes.
Emotions do not live past the span of human life.
The universe continues, far past our demise,
To a divine destination. Our progress will be forgotten.
Emotions deemed redundant. Our egos will lay rotten.
All else has true purpose, even without eyes to see it.
Or emotions to feel it. Or belief to give it reason.
No matter who believes it. Time lives, never freezes.
An endless puzzle shrouded by he, who designed the pieces.
I struggle just to get clean cause my demons are not leaving.
I have fought for a belief, to find there's nothing in believing.
Something stealing all the meaning and replacing it with feelings.
Terrored dreams keeping me screaming, pleading with the ceiling.
Apr 27, 2025
Apr 27, 2025 at 4:43 PM UTC