"swallow" poems
nights take passion forth
into an abyss
of hundreds of arms
swirling under the weight of
bodies yearning
to connect
your destruction came
in moments, you fell beneath them
and growled, you were
the rabid beast
hiding in my closet
or behind my bathroom door
waiting to spring,
and you and i,
we fell for each other
like children, we fumble in the dark
like teenagers, we talk through every movement
like we've known this dance for years, years, years;
my hands, they're too small
to spread over your heart
like i want them to.
your hands, far too big
to cradle my face between them
like you meant them to.
we make it work
in the darkest of ways,
the black hole in the floor
of our bedroom
opening up
to swallow us
whole.
Jun 23, 2012
Jun 23, 2012 at 5:15 AM UTC
when life is quite through with
and leaves say alas,
much is to do
for the swallow,that closes
a flight in the blue;
when love’s had his tears out,
perhaps shall pass
a million years
(while a bee dozes
on the poppies, the dears;
when all’s done and said,and
under the grass
lies her head
by oaks and roses
deliberated.)
48.3k
In a wakeful contradiction,
It lays fact between my fiction.
Tangling subatomics,
It unravels, as its tricks spin
Deeper, toward the outward . . .
It won’t let up,
Until I give in.
Over matter, lay my mind . . .
I tell a lie to pass the time . . .
But there’s no reason nor a rhyme —
Less still, a purpose?
I search for something
To remind my mind
That there is truth,
That isn’t worthless.
But as always, failure appears
In a sort-of amnesiac continuity,
And my reality lies to my own mind,
Just as well
As it succeeds in its futility.
With destruction as its manifest,
It tells me that I stand my tallest
Upon two buckled knees.
Just as faith will find one’s doubt —
A search within has left without.
It seems that an answer, once sought out,
Will be left lacking its question.
My truth divides itself,
As the product
Of infinite misdirection.
I try to substitute a reason, for a rhyme.
But with no lies left to pass the time . . .
I swallow a dose of ignorance.
It goes down
Smoother than the truth.
In a war that started with a truce,
This world betrayed my faith
To show me:
That I'm only tall enough
Once I’ve been
cut
down
slowly.
A pill too large to swallow,
I think I’m choking on myself
Or the irony of asking,
“How could I be so careless?”
Here I stand, Barely standing,
Consumed almost entirely
By my own dry-heaving self-awareness
Each night I am left to fight the fears
That my nightmares create;
I’m still running from my past,
Yet, haunted by my fate.
They walk beside me always,
Shadowing wholeheartedly —
They exist as a duality,
Both “apart from,”
And “a part of” me.
In truth,
These ghosts have taught me very little,
Aside from what I hate.
But, I've come to learn, not to fear
The forceful hands of fate.
For, I shudder not, at the thought of destiny,
Or the inevitable in time . . .
Instead, I fear the eventuality of the choices
That were solely,
And entirely, mine.
I fear that my will may be
Of enough influence, alone . . .
That fate itself may collapse
Beneath decisions like my own.
Or that I, myself,
Might be constructing
What destruction I will find
Among my shattered spirits
And convictions,
In these depths, to which I climb.
Jul 3, 2018
Jul 3, 2018 at 9:43 PM UTC
#
*Ebony
silhouettes
inked
by a dying sun,
portray
lovers embraced
in
the synergy of one.
Inseparable
dreams
slowly
morph into one …
subservient
to the
whims
of the compliant
heart’s
drum.
And
azure pools reflect
a
tie-dyed denim sky,
as
enchanted dreamers
seal
their love with a kiss nearby.
Twinkling
stars confetti
the
emptiness of space.
And
as darkness descends,
shadows
swallow all of the light’s trace.
Reality
pauses …
as
time seems to stand so still
to
the depths of their very souls,
motionless
they swim.*
#
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 7:40 AM UTC
Was it love? or was it an arrow?
My heart, you took, left me in sorrow
Your heart, may I borrow?
Till death, I will keep, not returned by tomorrow
My fortune is narrow
That what left my heart hollow
And my face sallow
Your secret, I revealed, left me feeling shallow
Running in agony in the furrow
Towards the nearest tree, willow
With no one fellow
Sitting on the branch lonely with my shadow
What a blue life! Thought it would be yellow!
Memories of you are my softest pillow
Such emotions, I shall not allow
Your fingerprints, your footprints, your trail I will follow
With all of my might, we become the lovers of the morrow
The pill of hope, I will swallow
--Hisham
Jul 15, 2018
Jul 15, 2018 at 6:43 PM UTC
The likes of you I can't describe,
Yet I love to eat between your thighs.
The melody you spake to me
Unfolds my greatest sovereignty.
I crave to quaff all of your spit,
And swallow every drop of it.
Don't cheat me of your tasty flesh,
Those bare and supple ****** *******
Your eyes that follow my firm gaze,
While we kiss and lick and misbehave.
I need to feel each piece of skin,
Smashing girl and boy parts over and over again.
It's such a treat to eat you whole;
I'm obsessed with eating 19-year-olds.
May 8, 2014
May 8, 2014 at 9:32 PM UTC
bite into my soul and
taste your dirt,
inflict upon me your
rules of hurt.
make a wish in the
fountain of blood,
take a sip and you shall
conquer the world.
hang me for all the world to see,
even in my death i shall walk free.
show me the strength
of your crown,
let me be chased by your
blood hounds.
cut me and scar me, burn me
to the ground,
why walk straight when the
world's 'round.
lock me in a cage so i cannot leave,
even in these walls i shall walk free.
burn my skin to reach
my soul,
why break walls when you
see no door ?
come inside, take away all i know,
feed my hatred by hating me some more.
erase me so i could never be,
even in my extinction i shall walk free.
tie my hands and give
me a blade,
tell me who my enemies are
and war shall be made.
whisper to me the words
that degrade,
and i'll scream them at the world,
as i fade.
**** the lullabies so i can never dream,
even in my nightmares i shall walk free.
now take my hand and lead me to paradise,
fire of hell blowing through the kingdom of ice.
sit on your throne and try to swallow your pride,
for this slave will never be yours,
he's the master of his own life.
hang me for all the world to see,
even in my death i shall walk free.
Apr 2, 2014
Apr 2, 2014 at 12:55 PM UTC
weakness is the bane of my existence.
if strength were an equation,
my weakness would negate it.
please just let me be strong.
i've made so much progress, after all.
weakness is a Demon
i can’t control.
a Demon that will swallow me whole.
Aug 8, 2018
Aug 8, 2018 at 9:35 PM UTC
Step 1: Get out of bed
Step 2: Look in the mirror
Step 3: Practice your smile
Step 4: Eyedrops to hide the red eyes
Step 5: Conceal the dark circles
Step 6: Breathe
The curtains are almost up
Step 7: Lock down the pain
Step 8: Ignore the weight on your chest
Step 9: Silence the screams inside of your mind
Step 10: Choke down the sobs
Step 11: Ignore the stinging in your eyes
Step 12: Swallow past the tightness in your throat
You’ve put on this show a million times
Step 13: Don’t let them see
Times up. Curtains up. Camera rolling
Mar 18, 2018
Mar 18, 2018 at 9:23 PM UTC
Summer morning -
pink jets of clouds
splash out
from the golden well of the east
falling just short
of an ebbing moon.
Streams of swallows
flutter and glide
over the garden -
they are all flying
in the same direction
as if erupting
from the sun’s waking pulse.
Just for a moment
one of the birds hangs
perfectly still -
like the top-most drop of water
from a fountain before it turns
to face the glittering pool.
Beneath them all
the hummingbird
makes her rounds
and a dove scratches the earth
below the feeder
keeping an wary eye
on the scribbling intruder.
So many summer mornings -
too many summer mornings
I have wasted
worrying about the world
and my place in it –
absent from my own body
and breath
the cage of my ribs
rising, falling, and pausing
without me. Meanwhile,
another swallow
stills her wings.
Buoyed by an unseen breeze
she is both feathered sail
and cresting wave as she slices
over my shoulder bearing west.
Tom Spencer © 2015
Jul 4, 2015
Jul 4, 2015 at 12:16 PM UTC
Grind it
Pour it
Twist it
Lick it
Light it
Inhale it
Swallow it
Exhale it
Share it
Feel it
Finish it
Adore it
Aug 9, 2013
Aug 9, 2013 at 8:21 AM UTC
Do I relate to the post-postmodern
True-life voodoo incomes are hard-earned
If I put a hyphen between words
Does that spawn a new one like lovebirds
Isn't love the same word that I saw
Don't crows live like bandits and outlaws
Don't they have the outlook of bourgeois
Carry stolen crackers in their claws
There's no change that I couldn't change
Every change that I change always stays the same
I wanna sing with a slingshot serenade
I wanna donate change to a masquerade
I wanna die while I'm in the spotlight
I want my death to inspire a rewrite
I want to blur the lines of insight
I want to make them think that I'm their height
So give me all your red green yellow blue
If you can find a pool then I'll refract with you
You're a mirage and your favorite color's see-through
You're my fata morgana from this point of view
Are there any words for my freakshow feelings
Isn't sugarcoated terminology appealing
Wouldn't it be easier to represent the meaning
Of a hard to swallow concept with an arbitrary ceiling
Cryptic cultish crease in the catalog
Paranoia backtrack to analog
I can run much faster than I can jog
Magic circle summoning Chernobog
I can break the barrier of sound and space
With these essential elemental explanations in your face
But it doesn't matter everything I say will go to waste
Because the power of the mind is putting power out of place
Hindsight reflecting, teenagers texting
Late to the punch with the big money flexing
Let's settle this with a match in the ring
Or a match to the rope of a cannon firing
I wanna die while I'm in the spotlight
I want my death to inspire a rewrite
I want to blur the lines of insight
I want to make them think that I'm their height
I wanna hypnotize and paralyze
I wanna make them think that I'm their size
I wanna break their spirits drink their blood
I wanna **** their souls I wanna **** them good
Dec 18, 2013
Dec 18, 2013 at 7:58 PM UTC
I thought if I could swallow the stars
I’d be as beautiful as the evening sky
I tried one night with fireflies
They burned my throat
Their legs striking at soft flesh
But my skin did not glow
No moon crawled from my eye sockets
I was left with corpses in my stomach
I soon learned I would only ever be
A cemetery
Mar 30, 2019
Mar 30, 2019 at 3:18 PM UTC
They’ll check your wrists,
But not your thighs,
They’ll check your smile,
But not your eyes
They’ll avoid the truth,
Believe the lies,
Nothing to sooth,
No reason to cry,
Our smiles are bright,
Eyes are a bit dull,
Wrists are clean despite,
The blade with an emotional pull,
And we’re emotionally unstable,
But they say that’s okay,
We are all a bit of a riddle,
But that’s the only thing we can convey,
And the world will open to swallow us up,
But that’s okay, at least our habits remain,
And when their arms finally open up,
We will show them the reflection they taught us to shame,
So we paint a smile with the color of red,
From the thighs they didn’t check,
And from our eyes we bled.
And they'll only understand,
When the noose hold us by our necks,
And if they had thought twice,
Maybe our eyes they would have checked.
Sep 4, 2018
Sep 4, 2018 at 11:36 AM UTC
they emerge from the wooded neighborhood ridge and fringe at dusk
into breadth of lawn
& limb.
witchy chicks
casting banter n bitchcraft.
teenage dead end dreamers tipped in black magick lip gloss
& glitter, their
genderfluid familiars &/or wayward boyfriends apparate
in the street pink cloud spinning wheel,
& hawking bile.
****** stella smile.
swallow a hex, send a snap, tongue along his neck
promising to fold bodies before sunrise.
the effervescent gasp
of post-ritual clarity.
in the house,
is a kid.
a gig.
the devil with a younger grip.
& the kid thrills on a bit of the ol’
u l t r a v i o l e n c e.
****** videogames, ****** anime, ****** mayhem n melodic music.
he is a conduit of dark energy.
a pure blooded offering of the stone age/video age,
mind in a kind of kaleidoscopic way.
he is me.
bred on televised bucket slime ceremonials.
she checks her purse.
drugs & snacks & juul & a pretty dead bird.
a daughter of delphi watching your kid.
tending to him.
trending him.
popcorn smelling him, the texas chainsaw massacre on vhs just before bed.
palace of teeth n twigs.
just a short walk to the edge and then its bath time.
the demon version is grisly and cruel.
the angel version is starry-eyed and adventurous.
to conjure some
thing,
at the cliff jumping.
it was fun.
Oct 13, 2014
Oct 13, 2014 at 2:54 AM UTC
Love me til I'm blue
Catch my every tear
Love me til I'm blue
Swallow me up in blue
Help me touch the clouds
As I breathe in what's true
Save me from my doubts
Swallow me up in blue
Drown me in the sea
The words will come on cue
If you'll let them be
Love me til I'm blue
Cause words are so unclear
Every part of you
Swallow me up in blue
Let me smell the flowers
Forgive all that they do
You've merely got hours
Swallow me up in blue
The earth, sea, and sky
For there are very few
Who have wondered why
Love me til I'm blue
Call my every fear
Love me like you do
Swallow me up in blue
Before my life will end
I've only one to choose
But I can still pretend
Love me til I'm blue
Catch my every tear
Love me til I'm blue
Mar 30, 2014
Mar 30, 2014 at 4:37 PM UTC
*These feelings & emotions
Feel as if they are Infused inside,
A depressed state of mind
Discovering myself is the hardest rhyme,
I drown in every hide tide
Never able to win
Restraining the pain within
My blood drys thin
Noise mutters from the hells next door
Waves crashing at the shore
Of my brittle skin
Crying on the edges of hell
A heart that can't mend
Handling what I can't hold in
I swallow down my sins*
Nov 14, 2015
Nov 14, 2015 at 7:33 PM UTC
''
Sand and stones between my bones.
Today the sun never shone.
Look how beautiful I am.
Chop, chop, chopped wood in the fireplace.
Don't get too close if you want to keep your face.
Be careful not to burn yourself.
It gives a certain warmth
And brings a certain want.
I would, yet I can't enjoy it by myself.
Royal blue like the winter hue.
My skin is merely bruised.
Can you still see how many times I've been hurt?
That winter depression.
Makes me want you as my new obsession.
Come in even if it's colder than outside.
Melt, melt me, I'm a letdown.
Having a meltdown.
I am melting under your fiery touch.
Snow flakes the skin.
I am in for a win.
What a special snowflake I am, wouldn't you say?
My heart is surrounded by splinters,
It shouldn't, yet it get's me through the winter.
Between my arms it's chiller, why don't you come hither?
Take a bite of me with your ice chipped teeth.
Swallow me up like a leech.
Red blood gauges from my blue veins.
Guess I'm not that royal anyway.
Hide it before you can complain.
-
Too late.
You already know the taste.
"
Feb 8, 2016
Feb 8, 2016 at 2:23 PM UTC
I look in the mirror
And all I see now are
Black holes threatening to
Swallow my red-rimmed eyes.
I never moved with grace
But my body tremors
More than it ever did,
Thinking of unseen fears.
I reach with my fingers
Towards my old reflection
To discover the tips
Are now cracked and bleeding.
Hollow shell, hollow shell.
I am losing myself.
Every step that I take
Destroys my sanity.
May 23, 2014
May 23, 2014 at 9:46 PM UTC
Sometimes I think of killing myself
How the end would be so nice
How the darkness would swallow me up
And how the numbness would suffice
My need
For all the voices of the feelings
That constantly keep me reeling
To softly slow to a hush
As my brain starts tur-tur-turning into mush
How wonderful it would be
To have that powerful silence
Not even grasshoppers would bother
To wake me
My cells would stop dividing
My brain would stop the lying
Myself would stop denying
What I truly want
But but but
This is just a reckless fantasy
A way to elude one’s own reality
Because as I sit here on the floor
Tears drip drip dropping
I realize there’s those who care for me more
Cherish me more
Love me more
Than I love my own self
The crickets chirp
I put the pills down
Mar 17, 2018
Mar 17, 2018 at 10:42 AM UTC
My skin illuminates your body with my touch,
your body quaking from the rush.
My aching ***** -- eager with lust,
paying dutiful attention to your pearly gates.
With zeal they await,
to invade your presence with my grace.
filling split with my space.
in one fulfilling embrace.
Your tender folds aroused,
enclose my arousal.
swollen with desire,
swallow me whole like a mouthful.
legs spread -- wide open and exposed.
your plush lips,
blush with lust.
as your body erupts.
Jun 17, 2015
Jun 17, 2015 at 11:56 PM UTC
i want to see you come
hear the noises you make
feel your body tense
next to mine
your hands in my hair
head thrown back
eyes closed
mouth agape
your pink lips invite me
to swallow your oxygen
with my kiss
it is so pretty, to me
to experience
your vulnerability
in the secret place
between my blankets
but more than anything
i want to give it to you
give you anything you need
May 5, 2012
May 5, 2012 at 2:55 PM UTC
It’s not funny, you know
It’s not a joke
You laugh at me
Until you choke
I wish you did,
I’d gladly watch
You swallow your words
Like you swallow your Scotch
It’s not something
That you can use
For people to like you
It’s verbal abuse
You’re mocking me
My everything
How would you like it if
I did the same thing?
But I wouldn’t dare
Because I know how it feels
I’ll patiently wait
Life is a rolling wheel
Maybe one day soon
You’ll be treated the same
I’ll be long gone by then
You’re the only one to blame.
Sep 7, 2015
Sep 7, 2015 at 11:57 PM UTC
I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions.
Whatever I see I swallow immediately
Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike.
I am not cruel, only truthful --
The eye of a little god, four-cornered.
Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall.
It is pink, with speckles. I have looked at it so long
I think it is part of my heart. But it flickers.
Faces and darkness separate us over and over.
Now I am a lake. A woman bends over me,
Searching my reaches for what she really is.
Then she turns to those liars, the candles or the moon.
I see her back, and reflect it faithfully.
She rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.
I am important to her. She comes and goes.
Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness.
In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman
Rises toward her day after day, like a terrible fish.
17k
my tears aren’t forced
they flow in that
dark tunnel that she
dreamed so long ago
she wasn’t ready
to take her first steps
I wasn’t ready to
take mine without her.
Little things bring her back
like empty bowls or the tower
of books she’s never going to read.
People have been calling this a
trauma, but they’ve forgotten the
loneliness of life’s journey. She dreamed
a tunnel and added bright lights
and dusted the floor with powdery snow
she traveled far yet I can
only see the trails of
milk puddling around the lost key that she
dropped under blankets
of memory and phrases of
I-promise and tomorrow. I’m growing up as
she falls down. She wasn’t
perfect but that’s why it
was so easy to love her.
My journey’s ongoing, and the
deep undercurrents of pain and
grief are pulling me through
that tunnel.
I’m rowing softly by,
quietly, quietly,
as she is laid to rest.
her memories swallow the emptiness
she is kneeling at the throne.
I follow slowly and leave my
tears for her to know that life’s
path isn’t paved in water but
with sorrow, with endings, and with lost
boats on turbid seas.
Sep 29, 2015
Sep 29, 2015 at 7:56 AM UTC