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Alyssa Underwood Jul 2016
It's at the point of desperation that the soul finds its deepest desire,
and in that desire lies everything of which true life is made.
Perhaps the first and central question concerning surrender
ought not to be, “What am I willing to give to God?”
but “What am I willing to receive from Him?”

For it's only in the realization that I have nothing to give Him and
He has everything to give me that true humility and surrender come.
If I would simply receive all He offers me and let Him fill me up
I would have no room in my hands to hold onto anything else.  
But how often it is that we won't receive it until everything else is lost.

It's the secret and inexpressible dreams of the soul
which are the hardest things of all to let go and the last to go.
When they are finally gone we have nothing left to run to but Him,
and when we do we find that He is the beginning,
the end and the center of every secret dream.

Ah, blessed Peniel—that mysterious and holy ground
where heartache collides head-on with romance,
that deep and shadowed land where we struggle
with God and with men and we overcome,
that painful yet glorious place which we may leave limping
with a wrenched hip but we do not care, for we have seen God’s face—
like Jacob, may we not pass you by without being forever changed.
Genesis 32

Alyssa Underwood Nov 2015
O Prize of heaven, Treasure of my heart
Let me suffer, if only I may seek Thee
Let me fail, if only I may find Thee
Let me give up all, if only I may gain Thee
For Thou and Thou alone art the Prize
"I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.  Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
-Philippians 3:10-14
Butterflies turn to moths in the drapery of your stomach.
They spread,
And the feast begins on the fabric lining the masonry of your summit.

Your satin sheets,
The place you come to cradle dreams.
Who knew,
Were vulnerable to these wing'd beasts.
Missing an ending tbh.
jane taylor May 2016
all seemed chaos
incoherence and seeming defeat

it was as if in crucifixion i walked
but for awhile

resistance commenced corroding
to surrender

in quiet then the gift appeared
more majestic than i possibly could have imagined

oh god you were there all along
and i never journeyed alone

and lo, but with acceptance of this truth
all was revealed

Sam Hawkins Feb 2016
when everything everywhere
whispered in irresistible languages

hey you there
stop resisting

i began to surrender
was flowing free

wings flapping

toward the unknowable

experimented with ditching
body as identification
name as identification
personal history as identification

faded off
mad word searching
explaining  justifying
reiterating too much information

i loosened my squeeze grip
on intellectualism
tell-me-how-to-be spiritual books
whatever the famous someone
said once then got bronzed over

i surrendered to universal unity
where i lavishly decorated
my living changing dream
with my own snap choices

i was flowing with fresh
synergetic synthesis

returned outside to pedestrian streets
where angelics mixed in
wore transparent disguises

i began to flow
forgiveness out and in

skipped a light fandango
splashing puddles was
answer to inclement weather

i set wooden faces
to smiling after
i switched my own

i rolled on through
perceived stop signs
of the everlasting no

incinerated all my karma with

made myself
stock still

yes yes

relaxed awareness


opened all my hands
There is no more happiness
Only the pain
Exist without meaning
I'm trapped in my brain

Each day brings a struggle
I don't want to meet
A white flag; I surrender
Accept my defeat
Written: October 7, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic Tetrameter format]
AIA Nov 2015
I try to hold on but he let go of me.
I try to walk with him but he ran away.
I try to stay but he just pushed me away.
I try to fight but he told me to surrender.
I try to move on but, I can't.
Mikaila May 2014
Thin, white wrists.
Bone white
Like china
And just as brittle.
They make that coarse, scraping sound when they touch one another.
The kind of sound that delicate, expensive teacups make when stacked
The wrong way.
It makes me cringe.

Little blue veins kiss the surface of them,
Hissing and sizzling when the air gets
Too close
Like tiny snakes.

These wrists
Have made promises.
They have
Borne loads.
These wrists have snapped like twigs
Under the weight of a heavy,
Punishing love.
But, pressed back together the way they'd been,
They hardened oncemore
Like stone
And the cracks and fissures
Sank inside again
And smooth, unmarred, delicate white skin emerged
To begin the process over.

At night the snakes whisper and murmur against my cheek in their sleep
And sometimes, quite suddenly,
They sink in their fangs
And I awaken with a start,
A sharp pain radiating out to my fingertips
Like a shock.

Last night I felt their strikes by the hour
Three, more.
And this morning a strange... fullness
Began in my wrists
And seeped out
Up along my arms
Through my collarbones and down
Into my heart.

Perhaps it was the venom
But where it spread I
Like an old stone wall.
Like the halls of a castle
That has seen too much death
And too many kings.

I sank into myself
For the first time
And the ground felt heavily solid
And I felt
Only the hollow hiss
Of little blue and green serpents
Dreaming inside me
And that
Was something like certainty,
Although of what
I still don't
Mandalina Nov 2018
I'm sorry
I failed
I slipped
I broke down
I caved in
I gave up

I'm sorry
I relapsed

Aaliyah Houvener Dec 2016
dear God,
i  haven’t talked to you in a while and i feel like i am fallin’  again
i feel like you’re not here
it’s been four months and still no break from my own thoughts?
God i know there is a better life in heaven with you …
i know you have me in your hands
i don’t want to sound ungrateful
but this life *****
i don’t understand why you would give me such a rough time
my struggles hurt
my life is broken
i know i should embrasse you more
love you harder
trust you more
it’s just hard to trust you right now
i was told you put people through hard times to give them the option to pick you
i pick you God i know you will help me through this
i just need to know things will change for the better
to know i don’t have more heart aches in store
God hear my prayer
understand my heart
don’t let me drown
give me strength to swim
i get my strength from you!
i don’t understand myself anymore
i don’t understand my anger
so God if you hear my prayer please help me
i need you in my life
i need your grace and love
i need to feel like i can be at peace
i need to know that this too shall pass
i give my life to you
i give everything i have to you
that is so hard to do
i know i’ve been baptised and i have said i was a believer
i have gone to church for years
i worship you and only you
but i still feel like i just now started feeling your messages
i just now understand your glory
is that wrong?
is that not right of me?
i surrender
i give me life
i give all i have
all i will ever have for you
i want to honor you and please you
just help me through this time i know you can!
Allie Dotson Aug 2018
I cannot be moved
it isn't so
I am the ship
that is sinking low
you are the sea
that made me so
I put down my guard
yet you just take my soul
you said you loved me
and I took the blow
I am stuck
and no rescues to show
only you surround me
I have no where to go
I don't move
why is that so
I am anchored
To love you whole
Nathalie Jun 15
I hear the rain as it
trickles down the
side of the window
I close my eyes to
capture the sound
that soothes
my wandering soul
There is gratitude
in this simple
moment filled
with promise
A new begining
into a world full of
flowering meadows
and ever lasting love

Dani Oct 2018
Sailing through storms, lost at sea
Two ship search for love, they plea
Lost in the unknown, two ships
But relief was found on your lips
Not knowing what we found
A love, or lust, or trust inbound?
Ships tethered together tightly
Surrounded by chaos, so unsightly
But your eyes like the ocean
Slowly swaying me, a beautiful motion
I didn’t know I was searching for you
I didn’t know what I could do
‘Til I found your touch
I couldn’t get enough, to you I clutch
Feelings of adoration, giving me inspiration
Appreciation so strong, my salvation
Chaos ensues over the sea
Two ships search for love, they plea
Untethered by contract made too long ago
One made before truth I didn’t then know
Longing for each other, but belonging to another
Should we even bother, to go undercover
Or brake free and together always be?
Tell me if you can, are we forever lost at sea?
Sa muling pagsibol ng umaga
Asahan **** di na maibabalik pa
Mga masayang alaala
Nang kahapon nating dalawa

Sinikap ko namang ipaglaban ka
Umasang baka pwede pa?
Ngunit pinili mo siyang makasama
Dahil mas masaya ka sa kaniya

Ako nalang pala ang lumalaban
Damdamin ko'y nahimlay na ng tuluyan
Dulot ng kabiguan sa pag-ibig na iyong sinukuan
Puso ko'y kailangan ka ng bitawan

Maari na bang lumakad palayo?
Magsisimula na ulit ng panibagong yugto
Ibaon na sa limot ang mga pangako
Ating nang palayain ang mga puso
Tula para sa taong iniwan o sinukuan sa di malamang dahilan. Malaya ka na. Hindi mo na kailangan pang umiyak dahil sa sakit na dulot niya.
Planejane2 Dec 2018
When you pray to God and ask him for forgiveness
Those frogs leap out your throat.
That monkey climbs off of your back.
That chip is removed from your shoulders.
Your mind is clear.
Those skeletons start walking out of your closet.
You surrender yourself and he surrenders those things that hurt you.
jcl Nov 2018
is here
and gray

there is
no shelter
from the freezing

i want to come home
sit by the hearth
be protected
made warm

i crave
to be loved
everything will be ok

hold me
in your arms
protect me
from the world
i need to feel safe

hug me
i want to hear
your heart

press me
let me
your body

i was a fool
to turn
to run

i need
your love
look into
my eyes
let me
whisper, i surrender
The fool says in his heart
'' God does not exist.''
They are blind
Their ways are not sound.
There is no-one  who does good.
The Lord looks down on the human races  and sighs.  Feeling disappointed.
Looking to see if anyone is wise. Anyone willing to seek him.

The Lord looks away with tears in his eyes.
They do not call on me.
Because they don't understand me.
The things that consume them
Destroys them.
It has consumed their very soul.
The enemy of technology.
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