"supress" poems
They put red tape over lifes speaker.
All that is real is now lost.
They try to supress you,
Replace all you are with lies.
They want to make you all one being.
They fear the rise of a greater power.
They fear freedom and individuality fore it is the birthplace for rebellion.
The brainchild of longevity.
They hollow out your mind,
Make you numb inside.
So raise your voice,
Burn the tape.
Life is calling,
Shout out in reply!
Jul 17, 2011
Jul 17, 2011 at 8:19 PM UTC
Where I was, was bad,
But where I am is worse.
I feel like they’re taking away who I am,
Filling my bloodstream with anti-depressants,
Forcing me to become someone I’m not
Someone I don’t want to be.
The fact remains that my sadness defined me
Struggling against the medication
Desperately attempting to hold onto the part of me that’s me
Wanting so badly for my days to mean something
Instead of the same bland depressing schedule I face everyday
The pills do nothing but supress my suicidal thoughts to my subconcious
So I'm forced to fake a smile, one unlike any other.
This one is to keep them from increasing my dosage,
And I'm scared.
I've never felt so alone
This is what I get
For asking for help
May 5, 2015
May 5, 2015 at 12:38 AM UTC
I'm fine.
The lie I say every f**king day.
The lie I say multiple times a day.
I wake up from a sleep that hasn't rested me,
And I lie. I'm fine.
When the woman I love asks if I'm okay, I lie to her.
I'm fine.
When she's breaking down due to her own issues,
I stay stong for her. Tell her it will be okay.
Possibly another lie.
I bury myself in these lies, to make sure everyone else is okay.
I'm fine.
The only reason, the ONLY ******* reason, why I haven't attempted for the 3rd time, is because I am scared of the impact of other people.
I'm fine.
I don't care what happens to me.
I care what will happen to others.
Laurens future. Her own mental health.
My Mums heart. I can't take a son away from my Mother.
My sisters big brother.
My Dads nipper.
My nephews uncle.
I'm fine.
My best friends. I couldn't forgive myself if I made the group smaller by 1.
I'm fine.
It even extends to work.
I can't let others take on the burden of doing the work I should be doing, because I ended it.
I'm not that selfish.
I'm fine.
Its the crippeling debt we're in.
How the f**k can I let the person I love put up with that on her own.
We barely live pay day to pay day.
And how can I do this to a family that hasn't even started.
I'm fine.
I am fine.
This constant feeling of something catastrophic is about to happen.
This invisible ocean I'm drowning in.
This explosion that is happening in my head, that I'm constantly holding back.
The thoughts that flitter in my head so easily.
I'm fine.
I say it with a smile.
I say it with purpose.
I say it with a heavy heart.
I'm fine.
My mouth says I'm fine.
My eyes scream for help.
I've been so good at lying, I've convinced every other communication I have.
My actions.
My words.
My mannerisms.
The jokes I flood into every conversation.
I'm fine.
I try to laugh as much as possible.
It helps convince others I'm fine.
It helps supress.
If I don't laugh, I die.
Or so it feels.
I'm fine.
Jan 21, 2021
Jan 21, 2021 at 8:58 AM UTC
I breathe in until I feel like my lungs might explode. I tighten my neck muscels and before I can think - My entire body is tense.
I'm trying to supress it. It has ruined so much but I will not let it ruin another moment...
I grind my teeth trying to supress it further, not realizing that grinding my teeth ... was a tic too.
Letting my mind slip for a second; I come to find that I have failed - once again
I flick my head, blink my eyes violently - turning the day into a stop motion movie - Once again I already know the plot.
Everything is moving in slowmotion around me - my body moving too fast to hold it in I fail - once again my body is dancing to a beat that is not mine.
I feel the pain in my neck. It is sore from giving into the neverending urge - once again it is strained from constant twitching and has been for god knows how long.
I try to ignore the pain and focus on supressing what's coming next, but being distracted by the pain I fail - once again I flick my head and exhale as fast as humanly possible. The exhale doesn't come alone - it never does. A pallette of sounds escape my mouth.
It was not me making those sounds, but the lungs affected by the pain are mine.
I feel the cycle starting over - once again.
It goes through me like a wave of energy.
I have been robbed of the control over my own body - once again.
The power to fight back has ... vanished.
I go to bed early but sleep late; battling this force with every shard of energy I could possibly have left - Once again leaving me exhausted enough to finally sleep, despite the constant twitching.
They say it's a chemical imbalance in my brain.
Too much dopamine is released.
As far as I'm concerned dopamine is a "Feel good hormone", so why does it make me so miserable?
I lay here thinking about when this cycle will end?
And when it finally does end, when will it restart? - Once again...
Dec 30, 2018
Dec 30, 2018 at 7:28 PM UTC
Bazooka that veruka
Wage war on your warts
Charge the canons against corns
And ills of other sorts
Conscript regiments of Rennies
Antacid to supress indigestion
Establish naval fleets
Of fisherman friends sweets
To banish nasal congestion
smear your chest with Vick
To ensure victory is quick
And if headaches ensue
Aspirin will win and subdue
If your enemy is constipation
Let senna be your friend
And if your throat is sore
Let strepsils make swift amends
Show viruses they're not welcome
Fight back with all your might
Give germs no easy terms
And soon you'll feel alright!
Aug 3, 2014
Aug 3, 2014 at 8:44 PM UTC
sometimes it's heaven,
sometimes it's hell,
I hope I pick the right one
if not, oh well.
I tried to play nice,
But it didn't work out,
sittin in back with a bucket of ice
with my held held high
you're gonna kiss my ***
while i kiss the sky
vindictive by nature
can't supress who i am
with my nose in the air
i'm like toucan sam
I'm a free spirit
and i don't really care
if you don't want to hear it
cause i'm free, free fallin'
enjoyin every minute of it
kickin back with a bottle of ***
if you're against me **** you
if you're with me get some
i don't like handouts
so hand it to me
gonna play these strings
like you can't believe
brings tears to your eyes
brings you to your knees
if i stop
you'll be begging me
please , please, please
I need more, more, more
like you can't get enough
like an unused *****
I tried to play nice
but it didn't work out
no it didn't work out
Jan 19, 2012
Jan 19, 2012 at 9:02 PM UTC
I love your sensitivity
nurture it, it's a treasure
like a superhuman power
said noone to anybody ever
You're upset oh no- I must fix this-
you're broken, please don't cry
these tears make me uncomfortable
supress them, make them dry
A perfectly natural display
of normal human behaviour
is seen by some as weak
too feminine, a problem, a failure
Stop being so ****** sensitive
they're just animals, killed for us
now eat up all your diner
and stop making such a fuss
Don't question, object or argue
just nod, agree and grin
there's no place for emotional outbursts
in the society we're in
It seems sometimes today
with all this mad confusion
in a world of talking robots
we've forgotten that we're human
Yes I want to notice a smartly-dressed
pensioner alone by a train,
to image how it feels
feel his wisdom, feel his pain
because to feel a pull of emotion
glancing at a passing strangers eyes
is neither a weakness nor a hinderance
but a blessing in disguise
~
Oct 4, 2016
Oct 4, 2016 at 1:57 AM UTC
Months have passed since I last seen your face,
Touched your skin, the scent of your lovely purfume,
Oh my, how I have longed for my lips to meet your once more...
But I pinky promise myself No More,
The aches and pains seem to supress day by day as I take leaps forward,
Staying occupied and savoring the moments in My life,
which seems to be the antibiotics to this so called "Heart Break,"
I made new friends and new potential lovers and you see me.
You contact me to make conversation to keep me at arms length once more,
But burn me once shame on you, burn me twice shame on me,
You will not deceive me again, to leave me broken hearted once more,
Medusa, I see through your stone cold eyes,
I have worked to hard and made a promise I tend to keep,
I tell you everything is fine, which it is since I have learned to live again without you.
The love I had for you once upon a time is no more,
But I will say this I Will keep the wisdom you have given me,
I thank you for pushing me towards being a stronger person and lover,
I just hope that what you did was worth it to you,
As I give you words of advice I tell you,
"Dont treat your next as your last,
Or you will have no problem repeating the past,"
I see tears running from your eyes,
As I can see the regret in them,
As our eyes meet our lips meet once more,
and you smile,
The last words you heard from me as you watched my back this time around was,
"I'm sorry, please take care of yourself but, No More."
{RP}
Nov 25, 2013
Nov 25, 2013 at 4:27 AM UTC
Glowing Windows embedded into mouldy brick walls
Ivy climbing the gutters of neighbourhood roofs
Skies becoming burnt out like charred blackened fields
Tall spiny trees project shadows onto the road below
Leaves curl up to receive some weakening light from above
A formation of sputtering cars cling to each turn they decide to make
Cloudy milky light bounces off faulty windows that exhale the aroma of somebodies impending supper
A heavy truck manoeuvres itself into the blistered bitumen horizon
Dry deflated branches make obscene gestures towards passers-by
Gardeners rummage through their bags as they near the end of their working day
Their faces filled with an expired enthusiasm for breathing
Parked hunks of metal pelted with dead itchy leaves
Windscreen wipers hold fragile twigs down against grotty neglected glass
Chain-link fences link disparate housing and the sleeping people within
Some dispirited unsatisfied psychos gaze up as they catch a moving bus
Smoky Incense billows down from some apartment balcony
The air becomes cold and sharply fills these ordinary streets
Engine sounds try to supress the divine quietness
They only merge into it
Now the stars are out and about
Bright specks waddling in an aerial pool of dark blue
You turn the key and walk through the front door
Feb 27, 2019
Feb 27, 2019 at 11:24 AM UTC
eyesopen
neverstill
Knuckles cracking, urning pills.
thewhite
goodnight
, Just Contemplate!
on such good night i couldnt wait.
to SUpress instict
,
Fears of fate.
It's so **** great
til i eat like 8
Then the next
day's worse
And I can't maintain.
I'd steal a nun's purse just to
not complain.
And
I'm not in
sane
As much as deep in pain.
I'm no citizen tamed,
said I'm siblingless Cain
Quick
&
Thick
the comedown came
Feb 20, 2013
Feb 20, 2013 at 8:23 PM UTC
staring at a window
a distance of
two inches away
the world outside
falling...
piece
by
piece
by
piece
buys
pieces
buys
peace
by
pieces
it
pierces
please------
all i have
in silence
in hushes
your flushes
pierces...
one
two
three
then your smile,
all that is left...
no longer pleases...
like puzzles
they scattered
all in pieces
so hard to place together
yet so **** hard to supress
i hate it.
if she loves me
yet she
loves me not
can't seem to fit.
i place in
all the moments
one by one
bit by bit
altogether
infinitely
tirelessly
in repeat.
every single smile
serene in capture
even the tone
of her song
caught in record
every flicker of her hair in my mind
just like a screenshot
and even the blink
of her eyes
each individual dot...
she loves me?
she loves me not?
the flashes
in and out
staring at the window
only two inches away...
listening closely------
she loves me?
or she loves me not?
the outside world
like a breathtaking blossom
bald of petals...
falling
piece
by
piece.
May 17, 2018
May 17, 2018 at 1:13 AM UTC
Heartbreak in many ways is a small death, all the same.
A part of you dies when regret is born and you can never get it back while wondering what could have, would have or should have happened.
When your food tastes horrible and the colour fades from the world around you and you are left with what only feels like a fever dream. A low budget version of reality and the writers are all on leave.
Why does this happen? Even though we've seen this film before. Different actors on different days but we all imagine the same ending and we know that there is a plot twist at the end when things don't go the way we thought it would. The way we hoped it would.
Is it perhaps that our hopes and dreams are the leading cause of death? Might we all stop romanticising the idea that our lives are one of the greatest films of all time?
Oftentimes the greatest tragedy is not death but rather the fact that we choose to feel nothing at all. That somehow closing the tap is the answer. Turning off the TV so you don't have to see how it all ends.
Unplug the cables. Throw away the disc. Supress the feeling of wanting more. Out of sight out of mind.
But in order to die, one must live. And if the little death is inevitable, why not live like it isn't? What exactly do you have to lose that you haven't lost already?
Mar 15, 2023
Mar 15, 2023 at 8:25 AM UTC
i can
conjurer up words
mix delicate
intricacies of verse
with poetic license
i might defecate
upon scripted genius
of the past
a scourge
on the eloquence
of perfected prose
a pariah
with semantics
that hang in the air
like a frequented noose
the rhetoric of
this rhetoric
both dumbfounds
and delights
the agenda of the learned;
to supress
the syntax spat forth
the phlegm and catarrh
of a gut
of derivatives
i could compose
a verse
for young lovers
to cherish
if i could
only stop
the rot;
genius
nonsense
or ignorance
i couldn't
tell you
which
May 7, 2022
May 7, 2022 at 7:41 PM UTC
she had mornings
(still does)
where she'd not talk to anybody
so i'd get on tumblr and check,
finding the familiar phrase
she used on these days
"i'm such a *****
and between classes
i would find her and wrap her in my arms
and tell her she wasn't
she never believed me,
always disagreed with me
so isn't it ironic
that those words-
"you aren't a *****
are the ones i hold on to now
everytime i start thinking she is
i tell myself i was right,
that she's only had a hard life
and thinks differently than me
but then she cuts me off walking in the hall,
she gives me emotionless stares on the bus
(where i sit 8 seats farther from her than ever before)
and i almost call her a *****
but i hold off, knowing i was right
i walk an extra three blocks
to and from the convenience store
to avoid her house.
i spend lunch in the library
to avoid hearing her voice.
i walk home from the elementary school
to avoid her presence.
and i don't go swimming
with my brothers boyscout troop
to avoid the memory
of the first time she said she loved me.
but when i'm about to call her a *****
because avoiding her
only makes me remember what she did to me-
i stop
because i know i was right
those words were probably the reason
she left for the last time
the reason she says nothing to me now
becasue she always believed she was right.
i only hope i'm right,
but i try so hard to convince myself
because i don't want to, someday
get so ****** off that i scream at her
that she's a *****
because that will break her
and she'll think she's right
that all her insecurities and anxieties
are true
are righteous,
and she'll be hurt forever
thinking that she's horrible.
she isn't
she isn't a *****
just misunderstood by herself.
when i look at her,
i feel no anger
and i supress the sadness
which may create anger.
anger only fuels my thinking that word
and i can't bring myself to hurt her
no matter how much she hurt me.
not a *****
not
a
*****
©Brandon Webb
2012
Nov 23, 2012
Nov 23, 2012 at 4:27 AM UTC
Let not fear be a hindrance
To the things you wish to say or do
And so as the gloom of day
Keep you static, unmoving
Supress no longer
The emotions you bottled within
And let your thoughts ascend
Unto their own paths
* * *
Endure the flow;
Leave the circuitry be
Let the pulsations persist;
Let yourself feel a moment for once
Or must the weight of the shadow remain to envelop you
Unless you choose to break away–
Not only shall the sunshine touch your skin,
But the crystals be absorbed and dissolved
Nov 11, 2016
Nov 11, 2016 at 6:37 AM UTC
I don't see kids get excited anymore
Emotions confined to the definition of what's cool.
Conversations limited to replies,
Thier words uncertain, and lack conviction.
Excitement caged behind paraphrases like "oh ok", "cool" and "for real".
I see the light of a childs spark diminished, there beautiful flame extinguished by words like;
"Calm down""Relax" and "Chill out"
I'M TIRED of seeing a childs expression voiced through texts, instead of emotion
I'M TIRED of seeing acronyms convey action and supress expression
I'M TIRED of seeing children automate experience through technology instead of life
I'm saddened.....
I'm saddened to see children trying to play adult, instead of just being children
Jan 17, 2012
Jan 17, 2012 at 5:59 PM UTC
To supress devotion and feelings alongside,
I want to feel no emotions,
Excluding happiness.
To supress the pain of disappointment,
Hurt and distress,
Those that visit so often.
I wish,
I pray,
I hope.
I do those and then some,
To supress those that visit so often,
Yet nothing changes.
Yet I keep wishing,
Praying,
Hoping,
And then some,
To supress devotion and feelings alongside,
Because I want to feel no emotions,
Excluding happiness.
Feb 11, 2016
Feb 11, 2016 at 4:42 AM UTC
When sorrows sorround you,
When things depress you,
When you are unable to express your emotions,
When you are forced to supress your passion,
When you keep failing everytime,
When you can't fight the hardships of life,
When you start hating everything,
When you end up thinking suicidal things,
Those moments when you feel helpless,
And you begin to act way too careless,
Then comes the time to fight,
Hold your breath tight,
Bring that smile on your lips,
Not for me,not for you,but for those who care about you.
Feb 7, 2015
Feb 7, 2015 at 8:58 PM UTC
It comes at night
Terror grows in lack of light
Minds run rampant, compelled by fright
Of fear's omnipresent might
The hearts pounding rings in ears
You supress your precious tears
Unaware if it may hear
Giving life to all your fears
Oh so fragile is the mind
Of it's power we are blind
For it creates this fear of ours
Which comes to us in midnight hours
Trembling we will await
To what next it collates
Nov 22, 2017
Nov 22, 2017 at 10:47 PM UTC
I Can right de way I want
Bcoz I tok de way I WANT
TeLL me I’m rong
I ekspress my fillings through poetry
I can rite about everything
Without feaR
Poetry daznt allow me to supress!
My FILLINGS
I no this is not kompellinG
With eras in my spelling
Don’t ASK mi y
Jast REED my eras
I’M taryard of yu piple
Traying to tell me wat to du
End wat’ not 2 du
Kontroling mi lyf
While yours is folling apart
Eye don’t really liv mi lyf
To pruve piple’s perseptions
.Write or rong
Abawt my lyf
Mind yo own business
End liv mi lyf alone
Kip quet and read Mi eras
BECOZ EVRYTIHNG I do
Is rong
Im eva rong to you
NoTHing beautifull;
Yu eva tell about me_
So suit yourself/
(End reeD mi erAs
Dec 14, 2015
Dec 14, 2015 at 7:17 AM UTC
Headaches and Home
09/10/2010
You remember the comfort of that living room,
Summers that never seemed to fade,
But now all that your accustomed to,
Is a blinding headache.
So you try not to move on that sofa near the door,
Because the more you do, the less you see the floor,
And the pain is so complete so intense, at least you know it exists,
What could matter more than this?
And those dreams that you have, of blizzards and snow,
They tell you more about you, than you ever seem to know,
And the truth is that you want nothing more,
Than to go back to that place called home.
Because its not the people, not even the places,
Just the way the setting sun made you feel,
So your already sick of all these blank faces,
But atleast you can hold onto something real.
You dont have to cry, you never liked wet eyes,
There's a time and a place for such things,
So supress all those emotions, the happiness in being,
Just get a headache from the swallowed "feelings"
Nov 17, 2011
Nov 17, 2011 at 6:45 PM UTC
don't you dare fall in love with me
i'm not the one
i'm not yours
there's so many things i'm not
but
i am the one on your mind
i'm the one you can't forget
i'm the memory you can't supress
i'm the nightmare that wakes you up
i'm the dream that puts you to sleep
i'm the warmth you feel from the sun
i'm the secret you can't keep; the wish you can't make
i'm the lover you forgot
i'm the girl that changed your world
i'm the fear you keep inside and the anger you yell out
i'm the one for him, but not for you
i'm the one you need, the one you hate to depend on
i'm the girl you wish i wasn't, but i am
this is me.
you know me.
but don't you dare fall in love with me.
Dec 17, 2011
Dec 17, 2011 at 8:32 PM UTC
The synergistic symbiote
Whom dwells deep upon my breast
Hides secrets within the locked chest.
Tethered heart strings play a familiar note.
Tightly wound, eroding away
Confusion gives rise, memories wash over
Dr Jekyll, Mr. Hyde struggling to be sober
Detoxing lies I told myself were okay.
Beg for the truth before you leave
The lump in my throat budges, failing
In my head is one story, railing
Away to free, a goal I won't achieve.
Two kindred spirits struggle, power
The true motivator, the opressor killing
Dreams to express brokeness chilling
My spine as we debate and you turn sour.
Friends one moment, devils the here after
Souls once melded, fight for control
Where I am me, you look to patrol
Finding my weakness, self claimed master.
Words won't find a wandering ear
To which could understand, pain
Like this, losing all with nothing to gain
Supress these fears, in silence dear.
We write the words, we won't speak
Nightmares live through day dreams
Stalking the foolish, insane screams
Suffer this shell, shed yourself of the weak.
Aug 3, 2015
Aug 3, 2015 at 2:08 PM UTC
Gas to my brain, your faces image,
an embrace I've been longing for,
eyes glued to my door,
where You will never walk through,
Im familiar with a dream of you.
Your hands caress my memories,
Your lips supress my deepest hope,
and with this distance, I must cope.
your voice paints my cheeks so red,
But this love is only in my head.
My ears are friends with forget.
You whisper your love from so far away,
because we know it's wrong to stay,
Waiting is our current game,
And on my tongue, is your beautiful name.
Feb 23, 2011
Feb 23, 2011 at 8:33 PM UTC