I'm perfectly miserable .
I'm unworthy of the things I deserve.
My boredom exited me.
I've tried everything
But options still await me.
I have said to much,
But not enough.
I wanna hold back 
by pushing too hard.
I'm anxious to hear nothing.
Impatiently waiting to postpone.
I want to open up 
by shutting down all that leads in.
I whisper a scream for help,
As darkness lights up my world.
All my answers end with question marks.
It will take a fatal disease to cue me.
And if love be that disease,
I won't resist to suffur.