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I think I'm lost at sea
I can see the  piles of sand from the beach
I can feel the boat drowning slowly
And this sand is the dusty brown carpet
Matted to your floor
The boat is your soft warm bed
sinking from your body of water
Your arms wrapped around me
pulling me, drowning me
I feel it, I see it, I am
suffocating
from the weight of your *tragedy
KMH Nov 2018
The bite of the cold
(Outside)
Is nothing compared to this
(your) Suffocating warmth
(I can’t stand it)
© KMH
Remove the words in parentheses for an angst-filled haiku
September Roses Mar 2018
Little house
Timeless street
Childhood garden

The scent of your preschool playground after a storm on a Wednesday in may

The distinguishable noise of your parents' doorbell

The weepy feeling looking at childhood photos and knowing you'll never get those moments back

The melancholy moment you realize the book you're reading was your favorite bedtime story

The second the atmosphere shifts and you're suddenly thrown back to memories of your mothers embrace on a stormy night

The suffocating feeling of revisiting tales thinning at the ends as your recollection slowly fades

The slipping grip of what once was that will never be again, slowly turning faded and acid washed until its nothing but a feeling you cant put a name to

Nostalgia
amanda Jul 2018
love is not made of giving and taking in equal parts
it is not a favor for a favor
i owe you nothing

love is not a compromise reached after long deliberation
it is not hurting on Monday
and healing on Tuesday

love is not touching because you will leave if i do not
it is not feigning naivety
when you see me cry

love is not the untimely squandering of innocence
it is not the suffocating grip of guilt
it is not your unwelcome touch

love is not
love is not
love is not
s i r Jun 9
Stare
Stay on me for a bit longer
Linger your sight on my lips
Can you feel yourself coming closer
Feel
Snake your hands around my waist
I place mine on your cheek, your neck
Ready to pull ourselves closer

Look at me still
Close your eyes
And I close mine
Kiss me
Kiss me slow
Take your
God!
/****
...Time
Stops
There is only
us
Until heat
Suffocates

When we breathe, it’s over.
Hold your breath
And time stands still
Eden Quinn Feb 25
I can´t breathe.
Feel a pressure
so strong
right beneath my chest.

I can´t breathe.
Three sport bras,
three elastics,
right on top of each other.

My back arches,
I can´t breathe.
I´m suffocating
but I would always
add another layer.

Quinn
Lost Dec 2018
Curled up
As small as
I can

Listening to
The same song
over and over

I close
My eyes
And imagine
Sound waves

I am
Surrounded by
Black black black

And the waves
Mold to my body
Like a blanket
Of noise
And lift
Me up

I’m floating
In the black
The blanket
Heavy and
Draped around
My being

It’s smothering me
but I’m not scared

I let go
And light spirals
Out of my mouth
And eyes
And chest

It pours colors
Streaming like
A light show
In a waterfall

And my lungs
compress into two
Deflated balloons
Their color
****** away
And drifting
Into the
Black
Emptiness doesn’t feel like nothing. It feels like somebody put a vacuum sealer to your mouth and shrank your lungs into tiny wrinkled meat raisins.
I'm brOKen Feb 25
Embrace me tightly
Until I can't breathe
Until all the love I have for you recedes

Pinch my cheek
To draw red water
To coat your surface
Wear me like decor

Wrap around me
And pierce my lungs
Leave me speechless
From lack of tongue

Become the very air
I transpire
And love me as
You're made of barded wire
Anya Oct 2018
She comes to class and goes
“There’s bees in my Head”
Then pulls out
Another mug
Of coffee
Which happens
To be the cause

Another comes
Face on the verge of tears
“He did it again!”
We all know who
“He” is
Then proceeds to
Accept hugs
While giving
An in depth narration

Another comes in
“I’m, just, dying”
She proceeds to get
More hugs
While another friend
Calls her “hot”
And she insists she’s not

The fourth comes in
She’s been sacrificing
Her free time
To attend this class
And her sad tired smile
Says it all
She gets hugs too

And here I am
In the middle
Suffocated
...
Am I emotionally immature?
Am I too much of a cynic?
Is it me, or is it them?
Am I just different?
Or too self conscious?
...
Why do they have so many problems?
...
Then class starts
And I turn to our model,
A plastic skeleton dubbed
-Bony Bonez

And lose myself
In the charcoal
Madison Oct 2018
I just want out of the dark
I don’t like this suffocating air
But I don’t need to tear down the walls
They protect me and my glass heart
Part two of my incompleted poem
Suffocating pain.
It seems to be a friend of mine.
Always there, comforting me when my heart is broken.

It sleeps with me in the black night.
Hugging my heart to let me know it’s there.
It’s frozen hands reaching into my throat.
Letting me feel, just how close it is.

But when it relaxes it’s grip.
I am able to fall asleep.
This peace is not allowed for long.
It gets jealous.
Wants me to only feel pain.

Pain.
Overtaking my heart.
Wanting to feel it stop beating.

Pain.
Clawing at my stomach.
Telling me there’s no reason to fill it.

Pain.
Intruding my thoughts.
Telling me there’s no point in feeling happy.

So I sit with pain.
In the long hours of night.
Replacing the warmth you once gave.
David R Jun 2018
Round about is deep black darkness,
Darker than the blackest night,
Whispering deep 'n dreadful murmurs.
Bird dropped dead in midflight.

Blind and weeping, lifeless attle,
What you see is your own soul,
Burnt and weary from the battle.
Disenchanted from its goal.

In the ash, a spark she smoulders,
Crackling, rasping, wounded warrior,
Briars squeeze her neck and shoulders,
Suffocating in smog-fill'd air.

Deep within stagnating water,
Crystal-clear elixir tear,
Rippling movement, life astir,
Phoenix rises from the slaughter.

Still she rises, Golden Daughter,
Fears no longer yonder fright,
Strength within from those who fought Her,
Blackest night turned brightest light.
Val Graz Jul 2018
Mommy I'm sorry I manipulate you for,
The alcohol I feel I love more,
And Daddy I'm sorry I pretend I'm naive,
About all of my bad deeds,
I tried so hard to stay dry,
But the rain it pours inside,
I'm drowning in my own self,
I'm suffocating with my mental health,
And I try, I try so hard,
To be who you care for,
The girl who laughs just cause she can,
Who asks for hugs before bed,
But I'm not her anymore,
And I'll never be moving forward,
But really I'm just someone,
Who feels way too much at once,
I cry at night when I'm all alone,
Dancing with my demons on my own,

Please don't hate me, I couldn't survive,
I do that enough for myself, and I can no longer hide,
That I don't have a problem with substances,
That I can recognize when I've had enough of them,

I'm so tired of pretending it's under control,
This feeling of alcohol that sings in my soul,
The cough syrup that makes my shaky thoughts,
Become shaky feet, legs, and hands,
I'd rather feel physically ill,
Than continue to be mentally unwell,
So I will continue to veer off the tracks,
And spin out of control, it's just a fact,
I have no sense of when to stop,
Please don't make me stop,
It's so hard to be in my own head,
Every day it's like a death,
I die a bit, a piece of me fades away,
And I'm sorry to inform you, to say,
I'm not okay, I'm just not alright,
With myself I will continue to fight,

Please don't hate me, I couldn't survive,
I do that enough for myself, and I can no longer hide,
That I don't have a problem with substances,
That I can recognize when I've had enough of them.
Pyrrha Jul 2018
Out of all these poems I've written of love and longing,
Out of all these years searching in the sea of people,
I still yet to understand how it's possible to have words without a muse

I often wonder what it would be like to have a muse without words
I believe it would feel suffocating
As you choke on all the words you long to exhale within your next breath
For a poet to be trapped by words is to be trapped by passion

Sometimes my heart swells up so big it walks across a sea of words and sinks into the deepness of the waters
Lost among the clearer beats on land
An abnormality pushed away from love like an ancient curse buried in my skin
One day i'll make it learn to swim rather than let it sink and bathe in sin

The question still remains
Would it be better to have a muse and feel like drowning,
Or to have the the words to accompany the lonely?
Kimberly Sep 2018
The words you spoke
Awakened the slowly withering
Your thoughts were gold
Replacing the cracks
The crevices
The fissures
That was becoming
Of the once smooth surface of my sanity
When your fire warmed but didn’t harm
I longed and searched for ways to stoke it
Already feeling chilled
At the slightest distance from your flame
I didn’t mind suffocating
But you were air
And I realized I love breathing.
This is the first poem I’ve shared. Thank you so much for reading. ^_^
chlorine Aug 2018
I’m freezing.
the sour taste of Smirnoff makes me choke,
but you are hell-bent-
nostalgic of the stitch in my stomach,
and the simple repetition of my words.
I'm sure you are tired
because all you had to say was “don’t worry about it.”
you know me like you say you do- right?
a different season,
the same fears,
the same intentions.
a lovers kiss feels like your drunken mistake.
his touch is suffocating,
but he'd rather me submissive.
fight-or-flight
perfectly masked under sarcastic comments and leveled eyes.
Amarys Dejai Jul 2018
I have locked myself inside of my car in the middle of the school parking lot.
I can still hear the ringing of the bell that caused us to scatter out of the school like ants escaping from a disrupted colony ringing in my ears. I am no longer a fire ant, but a caged animal, and I’m not sure who the metal barrier around me is supposed to be protecting. I still don’t feel safe.
I am thinking about how the glass at the zoos muffles the sounds of the animals, and how you might miss their cries unless you stopped walking and got right next to the glass. I don’t want to be seen, but, at the same time, I am hoping and waiting for people to stop walking past me, stand next to my car, and listen.
I am laying down in my back seat like a wounded animal, and my screams are being muffled by me burying my face into the seat. I no longer feel like a caged animal, but a fish inside of a tank. I don’t know how long I have been crying, but I feel like I am drowning. You can’t hear noises in the water unless you are below the surface yourself. I feel like I am the exhibit in the aquarium that everyone ignores because whatever’s in the water is hiding under a rock.
My head feels as though it will explode, I can’t breathe, everything is blurry, my chest hurts, I can’t stop crying, and I have convinced myself that I am dying. When my cousin was three, he would have died if my dad had not performed cpr on his blue, limp little body after he was pulled out of the pool. Now, he is eleven, and he knows how to swim, but I don’t have the heart to tell him that you don’t need water to drown.
Now, I am wishing that I had been the one that drowned that day.
I am sitting in a fish tank, I have no gills and I can not breathe.
My screams are silent, nobody can hear me, and I am kicking the inside of the car to try and make some noise, but everyone has gone home by now.
I am able to breathe again and I have grown a pair of lungs.
I am sitting in a zoo after closing hours, and all I can do is practice my roar and try to be heard again in the morning.
based on true events, January 2017
Lexi Harwick Jan 2016
it's been 43 days
since we last talked.
the worst thing is:
you still don't care.

it's been 43 days
of throwing stones
and the pain
I cannot bear.

it's been 43 days
of suffocating;
without you,
there's no air.

nothing matters
to me anymore
besides the fact that
you're not there.
Life rotates in an orbit in which axis is society.
Caged in a society rule... It feels like chopping the wings of a bird
slay Sep 2018
Pleasure remains, but so does the pain, I’m going insane

Are you talking to me? Nah, I don’t think so
Are you asking me if I am mad at the world?
Well I’ll have to think, I guess, maybe? I know!
But I really can’t hear you, I have in headphones
Can we take a break? Cause I gotta smoke
Yes, and each one, it is killing me slow
Well technically fast,
E-R the better
I’d love to be deader than how I already feel in my guts on the inside
Black tar suffocating the fluids inside of my spine —
*****, you are a dime

Pleasure remains, but so does the pain, I’m going insane

“Why you so guarded?” Can’t get this enough
Please shut the **** up, my feelings are stuck
I can’t get enough of the **** from the plug
To put me in a coma from smoking too much
Every time I come thru, I water his buds
He got that good good
that fefe
That neek neek
Good gas got me prerolling
His blunts for the morning
When I'm not high, I'm boring
It's my niche through the torment
To numb all external stimulation endured on my journey
In the basement of a haunted house with all Windows boarded

I'm lonely!
Hopelessly, truthfully, desparingly torn between
Extending my warmth or further retreating
I just wanna die without leaving my momma cleaning
The mess of myself all cold and depleting, and
Soaking the carpet to live or to be in.
Beside myself now, oh, how ******* convenient.
The whispers of a woman in a moment once fleeting , but
That won't be me, will it?
Someone make me see different!
One of the versions of myself that I live with, because
I am infinite.
Still I'm human, I have limits
I could still push myself further than what im currently doing,

WHAT AM I PROVING?
i just wrote this *** imstill working on it
Bella Jul 2018
Sometimes I get stuck in this state of Darkness
where my eyes can see
but it's like my head is just pitch black
and I almost wish I couldn't see anything,
like I wish I could just curl myself into a ball so tightly that I disappear from space for a while

sometimes I get stuck in this space
and I feel like my tears and my thoughts
are climbing up my esophagus and clogging my throat
blocking my airway
suffocating me from the inside

maybe I never told you I was depressed because who wants to relive that moment
that choking hazard moment of cotton ***** in my throat

maybe I never told you I was depressed because there are no words I can use to describe it that don't transform themselves into their meanings
that don't take over my mind
crawl through my head like little worms
eating away at my brain
my thoughts
my skin

have you ever thought of a traumatic experience and then felt those events happening again
felt the dark hole of life-threatening-trauma attack your mind
Shiver through your body
like it was a demon you let in through a memory-
through a word

maybe I didn't tell you I was depressed
because I wasn't strong enough
my depression fills me to the brim
fills my head and my chest
my arms and my fingers
I can feel it moving through my body
I can feel it expanding and engulfing everything inside of me
every last vein, nerve, *****, and tissue
how can you expect me to have the energy to fight
how can you expect me to have the energy to pick up the phone
to open my mouth
how can you expect me to have energy-to have the courage to utter the words of how I feel
I feel so worthless
in those moments I feel like there's this black whole inside me and it's consuming everything
it's taking everything but my skin
and it disgusts me

can you imagine the feeling,
having something so utterly repulsive on your skin you had to scrape it off immediately
It felt like you needed to be cleansed
like you needed a shower
take that feeling
now imagine it being under your skin
imagine, every muscle ***** vein nerve every cell in your body underneath your epidermis disgusts you
imagine all you wanted to do was to
GET
IT
OFF
and you can't
no matter how hard you try
you can't scrape it off
you can't claw It off

imagine you're scared of spiders
now imagine you're covered in spiders
and someone's holding down your arms
so you can't get them off
imagine them walking on your skin
in your mouth
crawling on your open eyes
in your ears
you're cringing at your own skin
You can feel them going down your throat
Their disgusting tickle in your stomach
in every crevice of your body
their tunneling under your skin
and you can't get them off
what are you supposed to do
but cry
My best friend's mom who doesn't believe in depression asked why I never told her I was depressed...
lX0st Nov 2014
I'm drowning in your moans
Every word that melts from your lips
Floods the room about us
Suffocating me into believing
That I would be satisfied
Spending my last moments
Staring into your eyes
Breathless
I slipped

I slipped and fell so fast,
It was embarrassing.
You laughed asking if I was okay,
But no I just fall over things.

My biggest fall was for you.

It didn't hurt at first,
I didn't realise it quick,
Until your smile was my world,
Without it, it was sick.

There was a drop.

So fast and low,
My love for you found no bounds,
I didn't think to let you go.

I fell

I fell so fast and deep,
Your eyes suffocating me,
Now I must give what I keep,
Ending love what needed to be free.
s v e n Dec 2018
“I can't breathe.
I'm suffocating.
I feel sad, maybe.
But I don't care, yeah I don't care.
I'm still moving with the flow,
I'll just have to get myself in check, with reality.
I need to find another way to feel sane.
Yeah, I need to find another way to feel something else but bleak.

I can't breathe.
I'm drowning with these sick thoughts.
Maybe I'm insane, I can't help it.
Oh, why do I have to feel this way.
Can't I just feel stable for once, sane for once, or anything but sad for once.

Can't  I
Just feel
Something else
For once.”
¡-; //ooof, another sad poem
- buttt guyss honestly I think my mind is playing me, why must it always make me write depressing ****-
- anyways hope you guys, like it? ~♡
Ciel Nov 2018
I was hurting, suffering
From a pain so great,
That words, screams and tears
Were not enough.

So I danced,
And danced
Until my feet bled,
Until I was breathing so hard
That it burned my lungs.

It felt good.
That pain felt comforting.
Normal. I understood it.
It let me know I was alive still.
And so I welcomed it.

For it was nothing compared
To the one that I felt inside.
The one that was invisible,
Yet suffocating me with its presence.
The one I tried to ignore,
But seemed to never leave.

Always stalking me,
Hiding in the shadows
Waiting for its moment.
A moment of weakness,
Of solitude or sadness.
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