"strugling" poems
As an adolecent
in my new life,
...a life
without the pain
of knowing....
I knew instinctavly
I was to
rise
above
and
beyond
my circumstance.
... away from
the physical
pain,
of fists
in my eyes.
and
steel pipes
against
my skull.
away now
from
the
constant belittling
the hate
filled
comments
and looks
of
disgust.
and of
the
horrifying tales
of
what
my
next fate
might
be..
even perhaps
my
fatality...
I have since
come to realize
my worth.
...my drive.
...my will.
More than
my realizations
of
what he was
and
or
where
I was....
I
have
become
woman enough
to
meet myself.
to
come
to terms
with
how
I
lived
what
I
lived
what
I saw
and
what
I now
need
to live
as
My
true self.
I
once again,
have
been given
a gift.
...a connection
with
winged
and human
beings.
That,
along with
my
need
...to
stay alive...
is
..Not
just for me.
..But
I will be
a
lesson
for
all of those
beings,
who are
still
strugling
to get
past
the door.
Their door
to
freedom.
It
is possible
to rise above
those little minds.
...of the "bigger" people.
...of those who think they have it all figured,
but know nothing of humanity, or just "being".
They know not of real strength.
...not of kindness.
of love, and loving.
of caring,
of sacrifice.
The have never
and will not
feel compassion
for another.
They shall never experience true love,
nor will they experience love lost.
Nor
will they be
gifted
with
the
strength
of goodness
the
care for
all others,
nor
the
patients
it would
take
to
honestly hear
another being
in
a time of need.
...For
these are
the only
true
gifts
we accumulate
during our walk
through this
world...
For SOMETHING...
..But WHAT thing?
I know now,
it was always for me...
experiencing the same pain and bewilderment,
The feelings of worthlessness.
..of nothingness..
No one cared anymore.
I traded all the love and care given by those who loved me most,
For a nightmare that would become part of my very soul.
I realize now,
in this adolecent stage of recovery
from
the mightmare
bestowed upon me,
I am worth
it
ALL!
I came away
with
my
LIFE!
...With
knowledge.
...With
compassion.
...With
understanding
of
what it means
to
be lost.
to be lost
in
someone else's
sadanistic
cruel
world.
...A world
wherin
HE
inflicted
his
tyrany
and
sadism
upon me
during
every
waking
moment
..............of my life.
Jun 24, 2013
Jun 24, 2013 at 11:42 PM UTC
Carl,
I'm still counting the days since I met you,
And the days since you fall in love.
And until now I can't say the words
"I'm happy for you" when I'm dying inside knowing I have lost you. Anyway losing someone is just a state of time and giving up isn't my word of choice. Yeah I may lost you this time but who knows the next time I bump into you that's the time. Time to prove that your not just my ordinary girl but someone whom I want to spend the best days of my life.
I always think for the worst,and never expect something good. I know I haven't prove how much you mean and treat you just an ordinary girl but deep inside I've been dreaming things when I am awake.
I miss you a lot on days I know you'll be happy doing those crazy things I know you'll love to.
I miss your messy hair your smile and those round eyes. I miss you more on Saturdays and I don't know why,I just feel it.
And there's this night that I feel I want to own the dawn,the streets when all I see are cats and fast cars chasing the dark. And I wonder if the stars fall and the tail light spelled out your name would it be a sign or am I just fooling my self.
I don't know if I just miss you or I am just alone or comfortable of being like this thinking how much I want to spend a night with you,playing ukulele or wacth Surf Up laugh when Chicken Joe captured by a tribe while having some beer.
And the train system that all or most people hate is the thing that I love the most being there almost everyday and watching people come and go made me realize that nothing is stable and even the season change but I'm still at the same spot where I used to watch every other commuter sleep,laugh,talk and run in a hurry.
Am I strugling? Or am I just a wishful thinker and a risk taker but afraid.
Am I saying or writing a lot? Do I need to stop? Nah I haven't done anything,right?
I hope your happy now, I hope you always go outside enjoy the rain and the sun.
I always admire you for being you,maybe I don't really know you but I'm glad that I have met someone like you.
Lots of Hope,
Mac
Oct 12, 2014
Oct 12, 2014 at 11:38 PM UTC
How hard this thornful life is
Though i'm telling
Everything will be alright
still strugling
Runing behind wories
And i'm in quarries
just want to run away
But cant even move
Trust lord
Not to hold my life
But to take me
To pour his real love to me
Almighty,Hears me often
Though i'm unheard
I can't keep mum
Lord, trust you forever.
Oct 31, 2015
Oct 31, 2015 at 1:06 PM UTC
Whilist i was strugling to
Find myself again.
You came in to my life
A full generated spark happend between us.
You loved me for me
And not for who you wanted me to be
You give me support when i am on
The stage.
Your loving gentle hands mended my
Broken heart and patched my wounds.
I told you about my past
I took you to my tribe
I showed you my mom .
I trust you.
You allow me to be me
And you bring out the best of me.
Nov 5, 2016
Nov 5, 2016 at 5:37 PM UTC
Sometimes i wonder if you are slefish
others i am a slave of your will
Sometimes i wonder if you even tried
As i realize that all you wanted was for you
You answer my questions and you try to make me confort
BUt as you try to make me better
You keep puching me down to the gutter
Maybe im not ready to go down with you
Maybe its not you,
maybe its me who sees the things this way,
But as we keep strugling i realize
You are weak
and there is no one more important for you than you
Even though you think its him\
Mar 14, 2013
Mar 14, 2013 at 11:15 AM UTC
Hey you,
You there in that empty shell.
Should we talk?
Should we try to connect ?
Choose
It's up to you.
Hey you,
What's up ?
What's down ?
Hey you,
I'm alone,
But not lonely.
Maybe,
Maybe,
Maybe maybe.
Hey you,
Are you smiling ?
Are you strugling ?
Hey you,
I am who I am,
Only cause
You are who you are.
Hey you,
I love you,
Only cause
I love me.
Hey,
Hey you,
You are what makes me,
Me.
Hey me,
I love me.
Hey you,
It's hard to help me,
It's hard to love me.
But I love me.
Only cause,
I love you.
Hey you,
It's for you.
Hey you,
Cause there is no me
Without you.
Only you,
Only me,
Hey you,
I'll tell you a secret.
I'm afraid.
And it's okay to be afraid.
Only cause
I love you,
Ergo
I love me.
Hey you,
Hey you,
Hey you.
It's okay to be you.
It's okay to be me.
It's okay to be.
Hey you,
It's okay to be
Afraid,
Lost,
Angry.
It's okay to be.
Hey you,
To be or not to be ?
That is not the question !
Hey you,
There is no question !
Hey you,
It's a quest.
Don't be stressed,
Rest
And be blessed.
Hey you,
I am a phoenix.
Hey you,
I'll stand still
Whatever the wind
Whatever the courant
I will run.
Hey you,
Run forrest,
Run.
Hey you,
Run for your life
Hey you,
Run for you
Run for me
Hey you,
I love you
I love me.
Hey you,
Hey love,
Hey life.
I love you,
I love love,
I love life.
Hey you,
Hey me.
Hey,
Hey hey.
Hoy hoy,
It's christmas,
It's my birthday,
I'll live my fantasy.
Hey lord,
On christmas,
It's my birthday.
Hey lord,
On christmas,
Bless me with mercy.
Hey you,
Hey lord,
I love you.
Hey you,
Hey you.
Yes,
You,
I love you.
I love you.
Dec 19, 2023
Dec 19, 2023 at 5:56 PM UTC