Pyrrha 6d
I find it strange that when I look into your eyes I'm not met with an endless starry sky
The world around me doesn't freeze or turn monochrome around everyone but you
I don't see an endless sea or visions of a setting sun no matter my determination
So how do I know it is love if it isn't as the words i've heard all my life describe?

Yet my heart still drops when you walk into the same room even when your focus is a place far off
People say it's like a flutter but this is far too heavy to use such a light word to describe such a feeling
It's painful but I know it isn't something ominous or bad because it feels right
How do I know it is love if none if my words describe it right as they should?

I get it everytime our eyes meet or you tilt your head and smile with your head in the clouds
I get it when you laugh to yourself or say something hardly above a whisper
When you focus so hard you screw up and let out that silly sigh of aggravation and I feel such deep affection
Yet is it alright for me to say what I feel is love when I can't even tell myself what love is?

I don't think your eyes need starry skies or my stomach needs a million butterflies
Your smile doesn't need to illuminate the room and my thoughts for you don't need an anchor
Your love shouldn't have an expectation and my words don't need to have a proper diction

Perhaps I'll see it in your heart or feel it in your touch one day if you feel the same
Regardless what the world has sold me with their modern day poetry
I promise you that no matter how hopeless I become I will find out for myself
What it means to love you wholly even if I have to find out from loving at a distance
I don't understand why I write so many poems about love when I am not even in love. It is so frustrating to have words without a muse and a muse without words.
Brody 1d
My throat is as dry the desert,
                                     my stomach growls like a beast,
                                      I haven't had food or water for days.

                                      I don'k know how I got here,
                                      my body lays broken on the ground,
                                       dropped a thousand feet down.

                                       The sky is a sea of red,
                                        the ocean is red as blood,
                                        the sand is hot as fire.

                                    Only god knows what I've done.
Ken Jun 21
every time i think about you i get a foreign feeling in the bottom of my stomach.

i haven’t determined if that’s a good thing
for m
I am having writer's block
and experiencing all this anger
and hunger and love and regret,
I feel like I just don't have a bowl
for all these incredible feelings.
I just don't have enough respect for words anymore.
I want to make a cake out of this psychedelia
and I don't even have a sweet tooth.
Where do I put all of it?
Not how.... where?
I feel like drinking water without pills is vain.
Air left in my stomach
makes my mind a psyho stalker shopkeeper
who'll chase you down the road
suddenly have convulsions and die in front of you
and make you call the police for a whole new different reason.
Writer's block is ghost town
and I am still human without a soul.
How to die beautifully?
Perhaps, when the sun shines the brightest in the dusk
burning everyone more than ever.
Bella 5d
Sometimes I get stuck in this state of Darkness
where my eyes can see things
but it's like my head is just pitch black
and I almost wish I couldn't see anything,
like I wish I could just curl myself into a ball so tightly that I disappear from space for a while

sometimes I get stuck in this space
and I feel like my tears and my thoughts
are climbing up my esophagus and clogging my throat
blocking my airway
suffocating me from the inside

maybe I never told you I was depressed because who wants to relive that moment
that choking hazard moment of cotton balls in my throat

maybe I never told you I was depressed because there are no words I can use to describe it that don't transform themselves into their meanings
that don't take over my mind
crawl through my head like little worms
eating away at my brain
my thoughts
my skin

have you ever thought of a traumatic experience and then felt those events happening again
felt the dark hole of life-threatening-trauma attack your mind
and your body
like it was a demon you let in through a memory-
through a word

maybe I didn't tell you I was depressed
because I wasn't strong enough
my depression fills me to the brim
fills my head and my chest
my arms and my fingers
I can feel it moving through my body
I can feel it expanding and engulfing everything inside of me
every last vein, nerve, organ, and tissue
how can you expect me to have the energy to fight
how can you expect me to have the energy to pick up the phone
to open my mouth
how can you expect me to have energy-to have the courage to utter the words of how I feel
I feel so worthless
in those moments I feel like there's this black whole inside me and it's consuming everything
it's taking everything but my skin
and it disgusts me

can you imagine the feeling,
having something so utterly gross on your skin you had to scrape it off immediately
It felt like you needed to be cleaned
like you needed a shower
take that feeling
now imagine it being under your skin
imagine, every muscle organ vein nerve every cell in your body underneath your epidermis disgusts you
imagine all you wanted to do was to
GET
IT
OFF
and you can't
no matter how hard you try
you can't scrape it off
you can't claw It off

imagine you're scared of spiders
now imagine you're covered in spiders
and someone's holding down your arms
so you can't get them off
imagine them walking on your skin
in your mouth
crawling on your open eyes
in your ears
you're cringing at your own skin
You can feel them going down your throat
Their disgusting tickle in your stomach
in every crevice of your body
their tunneling under your skin
and you can't get them off
what are you supposed to do
but cry
My best friend's mom who doesn't believe in depression asked why I never told her I was depressed...
I sat down and wrote a list
Of all the things i would miss
If you ever went away

#1-The anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach when you text me that you are free for me to come visit
#2- The look you give me that says "you're such an idiot" when i say something stupid
#3-The way you lean away from me when i invade your space, even though i know i'm doing it
#4-The pictures you send me of the hummingbirds feeding out your kitchen window after 18 hours of silence from you
#5-The anticipated feeling i have after 18 hours of silence from you
#6-How tense you get when im driving and not fully paying attention to the road( i promise to stop that, i apologise).
#7-The way you talk about your ex-husband, he's not here, i am
#8-The intoxicating sounds you make while im loving you with my mouth
#9-Loving you with my mouth
#10-I will miss all the things i have thought about saying to you but have not had the oppurtunity to do so yet
#11-I will miss how many more things i could add to this list
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