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"stinky" poems
Minnehaha Park is hot in the summer Even by the water Who knew it would be so hot Even down by the water? But all of it is hot And there are acorns everywhere Scattered on the ground Below our butts as we try to sit And have a little picnic On a brightly checkered blanket Between two tall trees That tower above us And grant us shade While pelting acorns down Into our cheese and crackers And fancy rosé wine Whatever that means I thought wine was wine But I guess they have personalities Like people Like couples Some things pair well together Like my crisp pineapple and cheap fuckin' pizza Or your stinky blue cheese and weird cookie-like ******* Like us And the cheese sits on a green marble slab Elegant as **** Because that's just who you are But that marble slab sits on top of a pizza box Simple as **** Because that's just who I am And we pair well On this hot *** summer day While we drink rosé And "I love you" is all we say Because sometimes we don't have to say anything We're okay without words In the middle of a park On a hot *** summer day
0
Aug 16, 2018
Aug 16, 2018 at 4:11 PM UTC
Minnehaha Park
In the old house up the hills - Yes, the one that gives you chills Whenever you walk by its fence - Lives someone who, no offense, Looks like she'd puts kids on grill. Children, puppies, all she'd **** For food. Lady who, probably, likes to Know the places each kid hikes to. There she, later in the day, Waits for village kids to stray. Some will die and some live on. Who? That really depens on Her mood. Some say that she used to snitch, Others say that she's a witch! Nobody was ever in The house whose walls are made of skin. Nobody would ever dare To set their foot on the porch where She stood. They'll never know that her kitchen Smelled like flowers, most bewitchin', They won't see her paintings, neat, Her living room where you could meet A fire giving warm embrace. And alongside her fireplace The wood. Now, if you got in, you'd stare on stinky fish bowls, everywhere, whose cloudy water calls for changing, and rooms in need of rearranging. But since you never really tried, No one knows the lady died. Yes she's dead for good.
0
Nov 11, 2015
Nov 11, 2015 at 1:07 AM UTC
Prejudice
come sit on my words dear reader like outdoor furniture for thin hips while spooky poets peer up under gaudy umbrellas nervous about making a good impression all of your hosts snuffed candles burning-out for metaphors and alliterations begging one poem at a time for a light that we will never see go ahead antagonize me you, who live in an idealized passed fear the future and ignore the present while i hide like a little girl   behind the bare legs of poetry that will show you! my head a hanging web that feels words like cosmic storms tumbling stone heads onto boulders of terracotta shards my ink smells like stinky saliva a dragging wet tongue of ambiguity a kabuki fight to the death unwinding paper machete viscera and plucking out make-believe hearts while gobbling fortune cookies containing   jokes, platitudes, and fortunes that never come true in a dreamland of masturbation's i'm trying to break something in you!
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Jul 9, 2018
Jul 9, 2018 at 4:45 PM UTC
Spooky Poets
**** you, Old Stinky Why are you so slow and old? I hate you so hard.
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Jun 20, 2014
Jun 20, 2014 at 2:10 PM UTC
Old Stinky
Ears pressed cool against glass tables and vinyl flooring words score high drained slowly slow like wasps caught in guttered draining not like velvet names etched in casing, but weathered like bricked and beaten graffiti – Waning like wax always melting Tools: spelling and grammar – uncheck Don’t fret too many gerunds grounding air suffocating hearing between the lines that past lower truths out straight in dirt and stinky face: eyes drawn with pensive staring lines drawn global remains of words unused: boycott form because it isn’t daring. Adopt sonar because it traces the smokestack between eaves drop and scrap metal hearing like thorns prickled cut by cleaver. Clink, clink, clank. Unlatch cellar doors of images fixed in meaning: glances slanted heads poked out behind legs enchanting ink under eyelids. Clank, click, click. Wishing: Sunday morning came to rest and the cat perched rest without the windowsill and the space between my legs lost meaning. Forgetting: Painted houses haunting furniture misplaced, training lessons in memory fading.   Dreaming: Sounds dipped in vegetable oil, Van Morrison in teething states caring. Still lost without my last breathe wondering…
0
Mar 2, 2011
Mar 2, 2011 at 1:31 PM UTC
THERAPY IN WRITING
The boy haden't bathed in over a month His **** crack was itching and burning His underpants were soaked in slimy, wet muck And his toes a thick jam were churning His armpits stank worse than a fat pigs raw *** His breath smelled like rancid fish His hair was so oily, matted to his head His own mother wouldn't give him a kiss "Enough!" he cried as a passing fly died When he raised his arm to exclaim. "I must bathe right away! I am long overdue!" "I sure hope the washcloths are brave." "To the bathroom man!" He shouted as he ran And his underpants sloppily squished "I will remove this filth and brush my green teeth" "And my mother I will kiss!" "The closet's ahead!" He said as he sped. And he stopped there to get some stuff. Some soap, some shampoo and a towel or two. But he knew that it wasn't enough. Look though he might, to his horror and fright, Not a single washcloth could he find. Then panic set in 'cause the stink of his skin Was driving him out of his mind. He looked yet again but to his chagrin The washcloth shelf was bare. The washcloths had run off For they would not wash So filthy a boy on a dare "Oh what will I do!" "Boo-hoo, boo-hoo!" The boy cried as flies swarmed his head. "I'd **** myself but I already smell" "Far worse than anything dead!" Then one washcloth came back Holding it's nose and a sack Of bath salts that smelled like dill. It said to the boy "Go pickle yourself!" "And give me a nausea pill!" So the boy rejoiced and filled the tub With water, hot as he could stand. And using the bath salts, he jumped right in And the pickling began. He lathered the washcloth with water and soap And scrubbed with all of his might. Away he washed all of the filth 'Til none was left in sight. He washed his hair and brushed his teeth And dried and dressed himself well. And the washcloth exclaimed as it hung on the tub "Holy crap! that was pure hell!" So the boy now clean ran to be seen By his mother he loved so much. And she gave him a kiss and said "This is pure bliss!" "I can kiss you and keep down my lunch!" The moral I'll tell you and true I will be So no one will say that I lied. Don't wait a whole month to take a bath Or you washcloths may run and hide.
0
Aug 1, 2012
Aug 1, 2012 at 7:53 AM UTC
The Stinky Boy
The boy haden't bathed in over a month His **** crack was itching and burning His underpants were soaked in slimy, wet muck And his toes a thick jam were churning His armpits stank worse than a fat pigs raw *** His breath smelled like rancid fish His hair was so oily, matted to his head His own mother wouldn't give him a kiss "Enough!" he cried as a passing fly died When he raised his arm to exclaim. "I must bathe right away! I am long overdue!" "I sure hope the washcloths are brave." "To the bathroom man!" He shouted as he ran And his underpants sloppily squished "I will remove this filth and brush my green teeth" "And my mother I will kiss!" "The closet's ahead!" He said as he sped. And he stopped there to get some stuff. Some soap, some shampoo and a towel or two. But he knew that it wasn't enough. Look though he might, to his horror and fright, Not a single washcloth could he find. Then panic set in 'cause the stink of his skin Was driving him out of his mind. He looked yet again but to his chagrin The washcloth shelf was bare. The washcloths had run off For they would not wash So filthy a boy on a dare "Oh what will I do!" "Boo-hoo, boo-hoo!" The boy cried as flies swarmed his head. "I'd **** myself but I already smell" "Far worse than anything dead!" Then one washcloth came back Holding it's nose and a sack Of bath salts that smelled like dill. It said to the boy "Go pickle yourself!" "And give me a nausea pill!" So the boy rejoiced and filled the tub With water, hot as he could stand. And using the bath salts, he jumped right in And the pickling began. He lathered the washcloth with water and soap And scrubbed with all of his might. Away he washed all of the filth 'Til none was left in sight. He washed his hair and brushed his teeth And dried and dressed himself well. And the washcloth exclaimed as it hung on the tub "Holy crap! that was pure hell!" So the boy now clean ran to be seen By his mother he loved so much. And she gave him a kiss and said "This is pure bliss!" "I can kiss you and keep down my lunch!" The moral I'll tell you and true I will be So no one will say that I lied. Don't wait a whole month to take a bath Or you washcloths may run and hide.
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58
Once there was an old woman who had tremendous bad farts, And this is where our story begins this is where it all starts. Her farts were just awful they'd stink up and **** They'd make babies cry louder and make all the roses wilt When she walked into town her farts wouldn't stop A green stink cloud would follow wherever she'd walk "Whats that AWFUL smell?!" people would exclaim Then they'd all point to the old lady who always suffered the blame Due to these consequences the old lady was lonely How much she longed for love, and just a place that felt homely. They say there's someone special for each and every soul Even for stinky old ladies and that's why this story is told When fate intervenes no one can really say Whats meant for you or me or what makes old lady's day. For one day old Miss Stinky was walking through a store She met a perfect gentleman who held open her door He didn't run away like all the other people He came up to Old Miss Stinky and oh how she got so feeble! He fell in love with all of old Miss Stinky To her **** bombs and green clouds he said "Oh wow, That's real ***** You can never know when your special someone comes by For If stinky old ladies find happy endings why shouldn't I? Now she's not alone just happily farting each day They had a huge hazmat-mask wedding and he swept happy old Miss Stinky away
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Nov 4, 2014
Nov 4, 2014 at 9:34 AM UTC
The Old Woman Who Farted
Toking on a cloud with ******* Jesus and his family Lame folks ask me how, its cause I ******* smoke religiously No God I smoke religious tree, I get ****** in the name of heresy You angry penguin ****** preach acceptance So praise the Lord and ******* shame on me My guise is Satan ***** and my swag is undisguisible heartless and no conscience, sicksicksix most recognizable -that statement may surprise a little but since we all surmise a little Why deny me as the devil when When I clearly play a golden fiddle. . . From Hell I made a deal and there is no repeal nothing you see is real, I will invade and pervade your mind So wait in anticipation, life's a figment of your own imagination I'll watch you dissipate into oblivion Pound for pound, I'm a cenobite at heart, I just haven't a heart to be found It's not hard for me its profound, the sound of suffering your soul is ours now and I will tear it apart Here's a toast to our orchestral Symphony of the flesh My swag's so ******* flawless 100 carrot diamonds, ******* love me cause I'm gorgeous can't stag no more, fat stacks galore embrace the force it opens doors Is there a source, but of course - it just lies dormant/ What's a ***** to a floor except a doormat And you know that I'm no diplomat It's just a fact I ******* hate those stinky ratchets And I sharply lack tact tell that ***** her ***** smells like Magikarp Body language, that of Snorlax someone once asked why don't have an open mind brains would spill out if my ******* snapback weren't so tight Its the season to seize C's and hallucinations be dazzlin em don't believe your eyes son, its only a phantasm but Words are like playdough, fun to play with not to eat So clap your ******* trap and get lost to the beat I can't be defeat So suckle my teet My verses are perverse I'm high as **** words: failing Get low ill as **** so ******* sick, blowed half past belligerent, tweaking off my nasal drips, There's serenity in debauchery - ***** I ******* bask in it have a taste basketcase, I drink red bull it gives me ******* wings "Memento quod sumus lascivio venatus" Remember that you are playing the Game
0
Nov 29, 2013
Nov 29, 2013 at 9:00 PM UTC
Anomalous Phenomena
Toking on a cloud with ******* Jesus and his family Lame folks ask me how, its cause I ******* smoke religiously No God I smoke religious tree, I get ****** in the name of heresy You angry penguin ****** preach acceptance So praise the Lord and ******* shame on me My guise is Satan ***** and my swag is undisguisible heartless and no conscience, sicksicksix most recognizable -that statement may surprise a little but since we all surmise a little Why deny me as the devil when When I clearly play a golden fiddle. . . From Hell I made a deal and there is no repeal nothing you see is real, I will invade and pervade your mind So wait in anticipation, life's a figment of your own imagination I'll watch you dissipate into oblivion Pound for pound, I'm a cenobite at heart, I just haven't a heart to be found It's not hard for me its profound, the sound of suffering your soul is ours now and I will tear it apart Here's a toast to our orchestral Symphony of the flesh My swag's so ******* flawless 100 carrot diamonds, ******* love me cause I'm gorgeous can't stag no more, fat stacks galore embrace the force it opens doors Is there a source, but of course - it just lies dormant/ What's a ***** to a floor except a doormat And you know that I'm no diplomat It's just a fact I ******* hate those stinky ratchets And I sharply lack tact tell that ***** her ***** smells like Magikarp Body language, that of Snorlax someone once asked why don't have an open mind brains would spill out if my ******* snapback weren't so tight Its the season to seize C's and hallucinations be dazzlin em don't believe your eyes son, its only a phantasm but Words are like playdough, fun to play with not to eat So clap your ******* trap and get lost to the beat I can't be defeat So suckle my teet My verses are perverse I'm high as **** words: failing Get low ill as **** so ******* sick, blowed half past belligerent, tweaking off my nasal drips, There's serenity in debauchery - ***** I ******* bask in it have a taste basketcase, I drink red bull it gives me ******* wings "Memento quod sumus lascivio venatus" Remember that you are playing the Game
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72
Nobody knows the the darker corners of my decrepit soul, a stale and stinky nasty shrinking ***** of abstraction, that is less than a fraction of nothingness, a shadowy space where people cringe and strangers displace their rage till tension and resentment fill this smelly place. Nobody knows that my heart does not grow but disposes of the red roses, dripping paint of crimson pain, beatings taken in exchange for struggles and anguish, pumping out plump plumes of poetry and prose to express the truth, that nobody knows.
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Sep 13, 2018
Sep 13, 2018 at 11:48 AM UTC
Untitled-17
Yucky Chucky Tucker Yucky Chucky Tucker was smelly as can be, he never took a bath and hardly ever brushed his teeth. Everywhere he went he left an odor in the air, and Yucky Chucky Tucker never combed his hair. His hands were always ***** cause he played with stinky worms, he never cared if he got sick, he wasn't afraid of germs. He didn't have a lot of friends except for one or two, till Yucky Chucky Tucker met little Linda Sue. Linda was quite pretty, an awesome sight to admire and Yucky Chucky Tucker would give anything to sit by her. But he'd have to make some changes and what I mean by that, Yucky Chucky Tucker would have to take a bath. He'd have to wash his hands and scrub his ***** face, and to clean his stained up yellow teeth would take a tube of paste. He'd have to wash his hair at least a dozen times, to remove the terrible build up of sticky greasy grime. Then Yucky Chucky Tucker would have to change his clothes, sprinkle on cologne and find a bright red rose. And maybe if he's lucky little Linda Sue, might take another look at him and think he's really cute. Funny how a pretty girl can change the way you think, cause even Yucky Chucky Tucker washed away his stink, All to catch the eye of little Linda Sue, besides, her daddy owned a toy store, now what's a boy to do? Written By Kathy J Parenteau Copyright © All Rights Reserved
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Nov 26, 2014
Nov 26, 2014 at 7:59 PM UTC
Yucky Chucky Tucker
a HOME credible THE BISHOP accusation ADMINISTRATION is PARISHES one MINISTRIES that, SCHOOLS after RESOURCES review SAFE ENVIRONMENT of EMPLOYEES reasonably CAREERS available, CONTACT US relevant MAKE A GIFT information BISHOP’S FAITH APPEAL in LOVE AND JUSTICE consultation AFRICAN AMERICAN MINISTRY with CATHOLIC CHARITIES the PLANNED GIVING Diocesan CHANCELLOR Review OFFICE OF CONSTRUCTION Board HISPANIC MINISTRY or CAMPUS MINISTRY other CRIMINAL JUSTICE MINISTRY professionals, STEWARDSHIP AND COMMUNICATIONS there YOUTH MINISTRY is FINANCIAL SERVICES reason MODERATOR OF THE CURIA to MAKE A GIFT TO THE CAPITAL CAMPAIGN believe SOCIAL MEDIA POLICY is FAMILY LIFE MINISTRY true VOCATIONS The soup today is not what it could be; We’d better search out the old recipe Explanatory Note: I fear the poem as written fails, which is my fault (perhaps I have lapsed into fuzziness from reading Leonard Cohen), so here is a bit of exposition: The words in small print are a quote from the Bishops of Texas (long may they wave), generated by some in-house scrivener, about what constitutes a "credible accusation."  "Credible accusation" is not a title in civil, criminal, or canon law, and it appears to be some sort of Article 58 (cf. Solzhenitsyn's The Gulag Archipelago), a means whereby anyone is guilty because he has been accused.  It stinks. Also stinky is the behavior of some few priests and religious. Anyway, I pulled the quote from a diocesan web site, and scattered among it in LARGE TYPE categories from that site.  I stirred 'em all up in a soup because the matter of paedophilia and the bishops' responses seem to be a soup, making it difficult for a "good simpleton" (cf A Canticle for Leibowitz) like me to understand. May God have mercy on us all.
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Feb 4, 2019
Feb 4, 2019 at 4:20 PM UTC
Our Catholic Soup Kitchen (Explanatory Note Appended)
a HOME credible THE BISHOP accusation ADMINISTRATION is PARISHES one MINISTRIES that, SCHOOLS after RESOURCES review SAFE ENVIRONMENT of EMPLOYEES reasonably CAREERS available, CONTACT US relevant MAKE A GIFT information BISHOP’S FAITH APPEAL in LOVE AND JUSTICE consultation AFRICAN AMERICAN MINISTRY with CATHOLIC CHARITIES the PLANNED GIVING Diocesan CHANCELLOR Review OFFICE OF CONSTRUCTION Board HISPANIC MINISTRY or CAMPUS MINISTRY other CRIMINAL JUSTICE MINISTRY professionals, STEWARDSHIP AND COMMUNICATIONS there YOUTH MINISTRY is FINANCIAL SERVICES reason MODERATOR OF THE CURIA to MAKE A GIFT TO THE CAPITAL CAMPAIGN believe SOCIAL MEDIA POLICY is FAMILY LIFE MINISTRY true VOCATIONS The soup today is not what it could be; We’d better search out the old recipe Explanatory Note: I fear the poem as written fails, which is my fault (perhaps I have lapsed into fuzziness from reading Leonard Cohen), so here is a bit of exposition: The words in small print are a quote from the Bishops of Texas (long may they wave), generated by some in-house scrivener, about what constitutes a "credible accusation."  "Credible accusation" is not a title in civil, criminal, or canon law, and it appears to be some sort of Article 58 (cf. Solzhenitsyn's The Gulag Archipelago), a means whereby anyone is guilty because he has been accused.  It stinks. Also stinky is the behavior of some few priests and religious. Anyway, I pulled the quote from a diocesan web site, and scattered among it in LARGE TYPE categories from that site.  I stirred 'em all up in a soup because the matter of paedophilia and the bishops' responses seem to be a soup, making it difficult for a "good simpleton" (cf A Canticle for Leibowitz) like me to understand. May God have mercy on us all.
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9
love eating pickles love putting pickles in my shoes love the pickles on my toes love that stinky pickle smell love eating pickles
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Oct 19, 2013
Oct 19, 2013 at 6:28 PM UTC
pickles
imagine a big dragon Are you doing it? "ye" what color is it? "b-blue and yellow" Blue and yellow. Cute! Isss it big as godzilla? "no, it's smaller likee the size of a horse" Dats a smol dragon I like him. "its not smallllllllllll a smol dragon would be like, a neck dragon hes big, just not hugeeeeeee" Ohhhh okay. He's a big dragon, but not huge. His teeth are like little point pearls do you see how shiny they are? and pink "why are his teeth pink" They are pearls. "but pearls are white" then his toofers are white. "gooood good hygeine" Mhmm One of those pearls in his dragon maw his little baby toofeers thats you "why?" because than you can fly with him everywhere. Just imagine looking down through his mouth at the cityyy as he flyyyys and sitting all nestled in his lip Blue and yellow leather He could sing you storiessss and brushes his toofers so his breath would be warm but not stinky "gooooooooooooooooooood! awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhh :3" "My small tenant" He says to you. as you crawl out of his gum and walk out onto his tongue. What is your dragon houses name? "his name is roxy" He's making a very silly face, sticking his tongue out and crossing his eyes to talk to you he sounds silly too talking with his tongue out "Welcome Home. " "i loveeeeee" Roxy the Blue and yellow Horse sized Dragon House. "Ready to slide?" he asks you "alwayyyyyyyyyyys" he swallows you it's very slippery and fun! like a water slide And is warm, but not smelly becaus he brushes his teeth you fly over muscles and liquids and tongue and land on a biiiig trampoline You can hear Roxy from all around you, quite loud "Having fun, my tennant?" You are the small size, or a dragons tooth. "good :3" "uh oh!" He cries you see fire from his back it's zooming towards you! "nooooooooooo run awaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy" You run up towards his tongue and trip into the sticky icky The fire is warm and tingles oup your back then is over and you standup, the back of your clothes all burnt off and your front all sticky icky "I'm sorry, tennant" "I sneezed" "its oki roxy." Roxy fashions their tongue like a staircase for you to come back outside "daddy? Im sleepy... Can we finish the story tomorrow night?" me too Babygurl. ^^ Yes we can "yay!!!!!!!" Good night "ninighht daddy. sleeeepppppp well. i love you" I love you too baby girl ^^ Sweet dreams. You curl up in roxys empty tooth spot, he covers you in his blanket tongue. it is warm. but not stinky. and you drift soft to sleep "Good night, Tenant" "I love you" "i love you ttooo roxy."
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Mar 19, 2017
Mar 19, 2017 at 11:32 AM UTC
Roxy, the Dragon.
imagine a big dragon Are you doing it? "ye" what color is it? "b-blue and yellow" Blue and yellow. Cute! Isss it big as godzilla? "no, it's smaller likee the size of a horse" Dats a smol dragon I like him. "its not smallllllllllll a smol dragon would be like, a neck dragon hes big, just not hugeeeeeee" Ohhhh okay. He's a big dragon, but not huge. His teeth are like little point pearls do you see how shiny they are? and pink "why are his teeth pink" They are pearls. "but pearls are white" then his toofers are white. "gooood good hygeine" Mhmm One of those pearls in his dragon maw his little baby toofeers thats you "why?" because than you can fly with him everywhere. Just imagine looking down through his mouth at the cityyy as he flyyyys and sitting all nestled in his lip Blue and yellow leather He could sing you storiessss and brushes his toofers so his breath would be warm but not stinky "gooooooooooooooooooood! awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhh :3" "My small tenant" He says to you. as you crawl out of his gum and walk out onto his tongue. What is your dragon houses name? "his name is roxy" He's making a very silly face, sticking his tongue out and crossing his eyes to talk to you he sounds silly too talking with his tongue out "Welcome Home. " "i loveeeeee" Roxy the Blue and yellow Horse sized Dragon House. "Ready to slide?" he asks you "alwayyyyyyyyyyys" he swallows you it's very slippery and fun! like a water slide And is warm, but not smelly becaus he brushes his teeth you fly over muscles and liquids and tongue and land on a biiiig trampoline You can hear Roxy from all around you, quite loud "Having fun, my tennant?" You are the small size, or a dragons tooth. "good :3" "uh oh!" He cries you see fire from his back it's zooming towards you! "nooooooooooo run awaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy" You run up towards his tongue and trip into the sticky icky The fire is warm and tingles oup your back then is over and you standup, the back of your clothes all burnt off and your front all sticky icky "I'm sorry, tennant" "I sneezed" "its oki roxy." Roxy fashions their tongue like a staircase for you to come back outside "daddy? Im sleepy... Can we finish the story tomorrow night?" me too Babygurl. ^^ Yes we can "yay!!!!!!!" Good night "ninighht daddy. sleeeepppppp well. i love you" I love you too baby girl ^^ Sweet dreams. You curl up in roxys empty tooth spot, he covers you in his blanket tongue. it is warm. but not stinky. and you drift soft to sleep "Good night, Tenant" "I love you" "i love you ttooo roxy."
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82
Pooey, pooey, poo. Gee, I smell you. It's time to take a bath now. Stinky, stinky, doo, you friends do to. You reek and oh you stink, wow! So could you hurry to the shower and rub some soap all over you *** Don't hold back! And if you do remove the peu you'll find your friends won't gag and hack. That's a fact! So pooey, pooey, poo. What will you do? There's a bathtub fillin'. Stinky, stinky, doo. It's up to you. To wash off that penicillin.
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Oct 9, 2013
Oct 9, 2013 at 8:27 PM UTC
Pooey, Poo (Sing to the Scooby Do Theme) By Mike West
** ** ** ** ** ** We think Santa smells! We think Santa smells. And he smells like hell It's not to laugh 'cause Santa needs a bath! Yes, we think Santa smells. Sweating day and night, in his suite so tight. Stop this debate 'cause it's too late. Yes we think Santa smells. We have had about enough of this stinky man. We must surely formulate a bathing plan. Santa's gone too long and the odor's strong. Don't be a dope and grab that soap! 'Cause we think Santa smells. (Instrumental) We've an urgent job to do so our eyes won't tear. Every time to us Santa Claus comes near. We think Santa smells. And he smells like hell. It's not to laugh 'cause Santa needs a bath. Yes we think Santa smells. ** **
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Dec 22, 2016
Dec 22, 2016 at 4:19 PM UTC
We think Santa Smells (Sung to "We are Santa's Elves)
The hinky stinky spider Spun a crooked web. His mama called him, Said “You stop that, Jeb!” Jeb the hinky spider Pays nobody mind. He stumbles on his way Just as if he’s blind. The hinky stinky spider Spins webs around DC Pulling in Republicans To his philosophy. They do not notice His mind is awful dim. That is because they Are half as bright as him. The hinky stinky spider Spins old and faulty tales. Knows half the voters Will fall for all his wails. Hoping he is lucky Like his brother Dub And gets himself elected Resulting from a flub. The hinky stinky spider Looks just like a man Looks very much like A normal also-ran. Hopes he can win with What he thinks is fame Based on ignoring The blight upon his name.
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Jul 24, 2015
Jul 24, 2015 at 7:06 AM UTC
THE HINKY STINKY SPIDER
Flatulence breeds laughter Come smile with me, as I sing you a song; About God's little gift, to every man. For we all like to laugh and forget all our worries And we all like to laugh, whenever we can. At a worldwide problem which just can't be solved; Of epidemic proportions, it affects us all. It's the funniest thing known, but embarrassing too; But the louder the funnier, as long as it's not you. It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number and it came from my **** It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number written straight from the heart. It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number and it came from my **** It's flatulence! It's one big **** La, la, la, la, La, la, la, la, La, la, la, la, La, lahh! Who dropped that off? Who left us a present? Who smells that bad? Come on! Who the Hell is it? God **** that's bad, something smells like it's died. You filled my lungs with a sickness, you brought a tear to my eye; You made me wish I was a dog and I had no nose, Then when you'd tell them of my story, They'd say how does he smell? (shout) AWFUL! It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number and it came from my **** It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number written straight from the heart. It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number and it came from my **** It's flatulence! It's one big **** La, la, la, la, La, la, la, la, La, la, la, la, La, lahh! Well it's time to end this song, With no more bad **** jokes in sight. It's time to wander on, With just a trumpety, trump; goodnight. (C)2005 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
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Sep 3, 2018
Sep 3, 2018 at 5:50 AM UTC
Flatulence breeds laughter
Flatulence breeds laughter Come smile with me, as I sing you a song; About God's little gift, to every man. For we all like to laugh and forget all our worries And we all like to laugh, whenever we can. At a worldwide problem which just can't be solved; Of epidemic proportions, it affects us all. It's the funniest thing known, but embarrassing too; But the louder the funnier, as long as it's not you. It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number and it came from my **** It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number written straight from the heart. It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number and it came from my **** It's flatulence! It's one big **** La, la, la, la, La, la, la, la, La, la, la, la, La, lahh! Who dropped that off? Who left us a present? Who smells that bad? Come on! Who the Hell is it? God **** that's bad, something smells like it's died. You filled my lungs with a sickness, you brought a tear to my eye; You made me wish I was a dog and I had no nose, Then when you'd tell them of my story, They'd say how does he smell? (shout) AWFUL! It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number and it came from my **** It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number written straight from the heart. It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number and it came from my **** It's flatulence! It's one big **** La, la, la, la, La, la, la, la, La, la, la, la, La, lahh! Well it's time to end this song, With no more bad **** jokes in sight. It's time to wander on, With just a trumpety, trump; goodnight. (C)2005 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
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44
The demon scratches me I bite him back The demon pushes me I spit in his face with a smack The demon taunts me I calleth him out by name They hate their name called Don't wanna be recognized for the flame The demon shows false affections I giveth him hate The demons a smiler as he latches to me I'll kick him to hells gate The demons find me downtimes Though with God I shalt win Demons love misery To seeith one in sin Demons are smelly Like all the dump trucks on the earth Times ten Demons haveth enemies They hate even their own kind They haveth none kin Demons haveth a date With Satan in the fire They'll turn thou on with lust For thou they do admire Demons hast hurt me They've tried to bring me to mine death Soo many health issues I know tis not me Them The demons hast entered mine family From the lives we didst choose! They entered by portals Between good and bad souls They came and come as orbs Spirtual energy Trapped to a distance God won't let them get to close to me They always want more They show themselves now and then They'll portray themselves as good souls Wherein its all pretend The demons speaketh in mine bathroom They hide out in the closets Parched behind mine bedroom wardrobe Spies as I sleepeth They want mine bright soul It's full of massive glowing energy They know it as I'm told So to bad because their not me They made a big mistake Turning away from God Now their outcast losers Fate of hell and grud!! They'll soon be in chains and shackles So they cause pain now whilst here on earth They come in all shapes and sizes as I've heard from many others Psychics Life after death (experiences) And from preachers Pastors and others They come large Small Animal like Mauled They come stinky Scaly Nothing thou shalt imagine Couldn't fathom Their everywhere City streets Malls Gyms Stalls Homes Air First heaven Second heaven Hell Everywhere Yet these demons cannot taketh me They knoweth I'm gods light So demon get hence from me.... Go burn in thine own fright!!!!
0
Jun 17, 2015
Jun 17, 2015 at 4:26 PM UTC
diabolica ( demonic) latin tongue
The demon scratches me I bite him back The demon pushes me I spit in his face with a smack The demon taunts me I calleth him out by name They hate their name called Don't wanna be recognized for the flame The demon shows false affections I giveth him hate The demons a smiler as he latches to me I'll kick him to hells gate The demons find me downtimes Though with God I shalt win Demons love misery To seeith one in sin Demons are smelly Like all the dump trucks on the earth Times ten Demons haveth enemies They hate even their own kind They haveth none kin Demons haveth a date With Satan in the fire They'll turn thou on with lust For thou they do admire Demons hast hurt me They've tried to bring me to mine death Soo many health issues I know tis not me Them The demons hast entered mine family From the lives we didst choose! They entered by portals Between good and bad souls They came and come as orbs Spirtual energy Trapped to a distance God won't let them get to close to me They always want more They show themselves now and then They'll portray themselves as good souls Wherein its all pretend The demons speaketh in mine bathroom They hide out in the closets Parched behind mine bedroom wardrobe Spies as I sleepeth They want mine bright soul It's full of massive glowing energy They know it as I'm told So to bad because their not me They made a big mistake Turning away from God Now their outcast losers Fate of hell and grud!! They'll soon be in chains and shackles So they cause pain now whilst here on earth They come in all shapes and sizes as I've heard from many others Psychics Life after death (experiences) And from preachers Pastors and others They come large Small Animal like Mauled They come stinky Scaly Nothing thou shalt imagine Couldn't fathom Their everywhere City streets Malls Gyms Stalls Homes Air First heaven Second heaven Hell Everywhere Yet these demons cannot taketh me They knoweth I'm gods light So demon get hence from me.... Go burn in thine own fright!!!!
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85
Pugsley snugs on ugly rugs and smugly shrugs at Beak But Beaky's peaking and tweakily tweaking while squeakily speaking to Pink And Pinky thinks they're rinky ***** with stinky sinks and ***** winks Then Twiggy giggles and jiggly wiggles her wiggly jiggles at Mister Higgles And Mister Hig-g-l Wait a second Who's Mister Higgles? 'Undercover CBPP,' says he (Crazy Bad Poem Police) 'Okay, let's break it up! Enough of this stupid poem Let's go, let's break it up! Stay off bad poems people, this stuff'll rot your brain!" ©2011 Lyn
0
Nov 15, 2013
Nov 15, 2013 at 10:26 AM UTC
CBPP
I abuse words verbally like my voice is Bobby and the dictionary Whitney/ Like a literary hyperbole properly arranged to explain this deranged brutality perfectly/ Force the English language to work for me like a particularly dark time in history/ Optimistically take the tongue twister trickery and aggressively attack a vocabulary vocally and personally/ Not physically but a barrage on your psyche, almost psychedelically/ Use words medically, like a surgeon I expertly plant thoughts whispered softly but assertively/ Moving letters like chess pawns to express thoughts masterfully and creatively/ Gruesomely grotesque but gorgeous thoughts written down beautifully/ You can't help but hear the perplexity of mythoticly placed words with comradery/ An oddity with the audacity to raise the bar and up the capacity/ Because what comes out of me has to be exactly what you see because it is me/                 Not just a part of me but all of me/ I'm not a fallen tree sitting in the forest silently, quietly all by my lonely/ It's just the opposite actually and factually/ I will attack with a dialect so violent you violently retract causing you to react cowardly automatically/ I don't even have to lift a pinky, leave it stinky/ Let my words linger there in the air like **** smoke, thick and sticky/   Periodically come back to peek and see if you've figured out the mystery and found the key/ One that'll decipher decisively what it is that I've let out of me and spread to all humanity/ I could never have planned it, see, it had to happen naturally, organically if you will/ And not to build it up falsely but I honestly, back then, didn't have the ***** to let it out of me and it cost me considerably/ So now this mastery I hold of word delivery bestowed to me gets jotted down feverishly/ With an intensity equal to none inside of this ******* century, can't censor me/ Got a consistency that forces me to constantly cross the border of insanity repeatedly/ Time only to watch my talents as they literally wither away for all of eternity/ Such a tragedy to see such agony but please, no apology brought on by sympathy/ Just let me be as I drift farther out to sea to a place you'll never see/ To let these words mold me into someone you could never be/ ©2018
0
Apr 6, 2018
Apr 6, 2018 at 4:00 AM UTC
~•§•~ Verbal Abuse ~•§•~
I abuse words verbally like my voice is Bobby and the dictionary Whitney/ Like a literary hyperbole properly arranged to explain this deranged brutality perfectly/ Force the English language to work for me like a particularly dark time in history/ Optimistically take the tongue twister trickery and aggressively attack a vocabulary vocally and personally/ Not physically but a barrage on your psyche, almost psychedelically/ Use words medically, like a surgeon I expertly plant thoughts whispered softly but assertively/ Moving letters like chess pawns to express thoughts masterfully and creatively/ Gruesomely grotesque but gorgeous thoughts written down beautifully/ You can't help but hear the perplexity of mythoticly placed words with comradery/ An oddity with the audacity to raise the bar and up the capacity/ Because what comes out of me has to be exactly what you see because it is me/                 Not just a part of me but all of me/ I'm not a fallen tree sitting in the forest silently, quietly all by my lonely/ It's just the opposite actually and factually/ I will attack with a dialect so violent you violently retract causing you to react cowardly automatically/ I don't even have to lift a pinky, leave it stinky/ Let my words linger there in the air like **** smoke, thick and sticky/   Periodically come back to peek and see if you've figured out the mystery and found the key/ One that'll decipher decisively what it is that I've let out of me and spread to all humanity/ I could never have planned it, see, it had to happen naturally, organically if you will/ And not to build it up falsely but I honestly, back then, didn't have the ***** to let it out of me and it cost me considerably/ So now this mastery I hold of word delivery bestowed to me gets jotted down feverishly/ With an intensity equal to none inside of this ******* century, can't censor me/ Got a consistency that forces me to constantly cross the border of insanity repeatedly/ Time only to watch my talents as they literally wither away for all of eternity/ Such a tragedy to see such agony but please, no apology brought on by sympathy/ Just let me be as I drift farther out to sea to a place you'll never see/ To let these words mold me into someone you could never be/ ©2018
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29
two leaders once met in Helsinki for talks that looked somewhat ***** as it turns out                 still nobody knows what they were talking about and that indeed smells rather stinky
0
Sep 30, 2018
Sep 30, 2018 at 4:29 PM UTC
Helsinki (Limerick)
Grown men, bickering like rats, Squeaking around obvious facts, To the sewers! Stinky bats!! Two-face snitches, and their shameless acts.
0
Feb 21, 2013
Feb 21, 2013 at 3:48 AM UTC
Jiggers!
the garbage truck didn't turn up to-day and the neighborhood trash stunk all day a gross smell drifted across the street it was akin to a rotting pile of peat the council have heard the odd gripe they've been told that the ******* is ripe the residential area is no perfumery our quarter acre blocks are so stinky we'll be forced to vacate the neighborhood as uncollected garbage is far from good the air is heady with stale fish and curry vegetable matter and an assortment of slurry it is hoped that a truck can soon be found as we'll be decamping the area's bounds our noses have had a harrowing time inhaling a stench which isn't sublime
0
Nov 24, 2013
Nov 24, 2013 at 7:42 PM UTC
Garbage Truck Blues
I had a dream the other day I ran into a doctor, lawyer and a constable, We came to an agreement that I had lost some part of me and that "I" am totally responsible; Then I had another dream I ran into a doctor, cousolor and a poet, We came to an agreement there's certain things you just don't delegate but before then I didn't know it! So now I'm taking six weeks off and explaining why is basically the moral of this little rhyme, I have to find that item I lost instead of intertaining getting high and ******* all the time! There's a lot of back stepping I must do I could have lost it anywhere, It's a powerful asset I've always had but I lost it somewhere over this past year. It might be right next to you or me so please look around do you see it? This is a necessary part of me I really need so I just can't ignore or say so be it. I must retrace my steps to lead me back to what once led me to here, To fix that error of my past when I lost the virtue of my despair. Now a broken bone heals in six weeks and so I think this is a realistic amount of time, This is a personal excursion I must take because believe me I feel all of your pain combined. I have to find my virtue the disposition to keep on doing the right thing... Without my positive attitude the strength and prudence I have just doesn't mean a god ****** thing! You might miss me a little bit but I plead for you to stay away, If you don't it doesn't matter cause I'm not answering my phone, texts e-mails nor doorbells anyway. And if you've learned anything from me you'll listen to me when I say, Loosing virtue is like jumping off a 55 ft. bridge you'll be hurting every day! And if like me you ever lose your virtue you'll realize this then too, You'll go on an excursion just like me this virtue you too you will persue. Sediment, strength, prudence and wisdom go nowhere as far as prooving who one is, Without the moral virtue we all have that allows us to make stinky things smell like roses. Goodbye for now I'll see you soon and for me to do this you ought, To love yourself much and me much too and for you... to Keep a Wonderful aThought! Robin Ashley
0
Sep 19, 2015
Sep 19, 2015 at 6:03 AM UTC
Virtue
I had a dream the other day I ran into a doctor, lawyer and a constable, We came to an agreement that I had lost some part of me and that "I" am totally responsible; Then I had another dream I ran into a doctor, cousolor and a poet, We came to an agreement there's certain things you just don't delegate but before then I didn't know it! So now I'm taking six weeks off and explaining why is basically the moral of this little rhyme, I have to find that item I lost instead of intertaining getting high and ******* all the time! There's a lot of back stepping I must do I could have lost it anywhere, It's a powerful asset I've always had but I lost it somewhere over this past year. It might be right next to you or me so please look around do you see it? This is a necessary part of me I really need so I just can't ignore or say so be it. I must retrace my steps to lead me back to what once led me to here, To fix that error of my past when I lost the virtue of my despair. Now a broken bone heals in six weeks and so I think this is a realistic amount of time, This is a personal excursion I must take because believe me I feel all of your pain combined. I have to find my virtue the disposition to keep on doing the right thing... Without my positive attitude the strength and prudence I have just doesn't mean a god ****** thing! You might miss me a little bit but I plead for you to stay away, If you don't it doesn't matter cause I'm not answering my phone, texts e-mails nor doorbells anyway. And if you've learned anything from me you'll listen to me when I say, Loosing virtue is like jumping off a 55 ft. bridge you'll be hurting every day! And if like me you ever lose your virtue you'll realize this then too, You'll go on an excursion just like me this virtue you too you will persue. Sediment, strength, prudence and wisdom go nowhere as far as prooving who one is, Without the moral virtue we all have that allows us to make stinky things smell like roses. Goodbye for now I'll see you soon and for me to do this you ought, To love yourself much and me much too and for you... to Keep a Wonderful aThought! Robin Ashley
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27
Stinky and Hinky Both egregious pigs Set out to **** us all; They don't care a fig If all of us starve to death As long as they get rich. Stinky and Hinky Each a venal summabitch! Stinky hired Hinky Two minds, one sewer. Stinky had no talent But Hinky was newer. Many people doubted That either had a chance But over half the voters Chose to skip the dance. So we got two reprobates With no regard for us. So, without much fanfare And no legitimate fuss The country got overrun Crooks got left in office. Now they all are setting out To, once and for all, off us. Stinky is a ***** And Hinky is a bigot. They crap on the Constitution. And expect us all to dig it. Stinky uses the USA As his personal ATM. Hinky is just evil. We’ve had enough of him.
0
Mar 22, 2017
Mar 22, 2017 at 5:22 PM UTC
STINKY AND HINKY