While i was guaranteed eternal advice and happiness in my exclusive group of friends at our tri-weekly lunches and weekend clubbings, I simultaneously indulged myself in the pleasure of being surrounded by an erroneous kind of couple, the lesbians.  Stefanie and Andy were the token lesbians in our group of friends.  Token lesbians proved to be a great asset to our group for warding off unwanted straight guys looking for a way too easy lay.  My friendship with Stef and Andy would give me my way in to all of the lesbian and gay bars in the city notorious for their ***** ***** martinis laced with desire and chilling excitement on pretty girls drink free everyday.  Whenever i needed that "unique" night out on the beautiful New York town, Stef and Andy were right there to buy my first beer.  Everyone has to have that one token gay couple, no matter man or woman.  Some of us choose to flaunt our outrageous choice of friends all over the most elite restaurants and parties across Manhattan as a way to boost our inner self-esteem; while others specifically keep them around to ******* our conservative elders who refuse to give over our much deserving trust funds.  Stef, Andy and i had been friends for nearly eight years.  I met Stef on my first day of working at the Times, she was a fellow new employee fresh out of intern training hell.  From day one, we stuck together like glue knowing that if we played our cards right and made friends with the archangels of New York literary heaven, eventually we'd see the light of God.  We had thought the hazing of interning at this stress packed **** hole was horrifying but we had only experienced a slit of what true work was.  The slaving over deadlines and editorial reviews had cut our souls in half and drained our eyes of tears.  Stepping out of one of the most powerful buildings in New York, the fresh smell of cigarettes and brandy flowing through the opening and shutting doors of the nearest bar half a block away.  Given the name and outer decor was a huge signal that this place was not somewhere i would usually find myself after work on a Friday night, the offer of "first round on me" boggled my thought process.  Stef persuaded me to walk alongside her as we paraded our way through the busy rush hour traffic of guilty hubbies simply wishing to get home and bang the life out of their trophy wives in hopes that their women would forget the minor incident involving someone else's lingerie ending up in the ***** clothes on Wednesday morning.  Boredom had overtaken me personally as well earlier that week when i overheard Stef confirm with someone named "Andy" that she'd be at "The Heel" as soon as she could leave this "constipated place of crap".  Much to my surprise, my third eye skills lacked as I was under the impression that A) "Andy" was a boy, B)  Stef was straight, and C) I would end up going home with one lucky bachelor tonight who made the wrong mistake of being able to order a ***** *** and coke on ice and dance like his *** drive depended on it.  Fortunately, I was wrong on all of the above and while i was repeatedly hit on by pixie cut after pixie cut, i lost my gay bar virginity, gained my token lesbian couple, and went home tipsy as a homeless man on Fifth Avenue.

PARTY ZONE WITH DAVE AND SUE JANUARY 3 2015







DAVID’     HI DUDES AND WELCOME TO PARTY ZONE, AND ON TODAY’S SHOW, WE ARE AT

THE AAA NITE CLUB, IN GAREMA PLACE, AND TONIGHT WE HAVE ENTERTAINMENT FROM

PETE NOWNEY, WHO IS PERFORMING AT AAA NIGHT CLUB, THEN SUE LONGWAYS

GETS A FEW OF THE CLUB’S PATRONS TO PERFORM A FEW DRINKING SONGS OF THEIR PAST

AND HERE IS SUE WITH ERNIE PIGFEST

SUE’,  HI I AM SUE LONGWAYS, AND WE HAVE A GREAT DRINKING GAME TO SING, OK ERNIE TAKE IT AWAY

ERNIE’   21 BOTTLES OF BOURBON ON THE WALL, AND A FULL BOTTLE OF SCOTCH

YOU BETTER GET YA COTTON PICKING HANDS OFF IT, OR I’LL PUNCH YOU IN THE GOB, AND MAKE YA A SNOB

YOU SEE DRINKING GAMES ARE SO MUCH FUN

YEAH, THEY ARE FUN, OH YEAH, YA SEE WE HAVE CHIPS AND BURGERS AS WELL

AND A NICE CAN OF BEER, OR JUG OF BEER, WHATEVER YA RECKON, MATE

IT’S GETTING CLOSE TO  HALF PAST EIGHT

SUE’   THANKS, ERNIE, AND HOP IN THE HOT TUB AND NOW HERE IS **** LEARY

****’  I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT, I REALLY WANNA MOVE IT MOVE IT

I WANNA PARTY PARTY, AND I WANNA GET DRESSED UP AS A REAL SMARTIE

OH SLICK, YOUR A ****, YOU HAVE NO BRAINS, LIKE A REAL SPASTIC

I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT, I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT

I REALLY WANNA SHAKE MY THANG, I REALLY WANNA SHAKE MY THANG

I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT

GO QUICK, YOUR A ****, YOUR A BRAINLESS TWIT WHO IS SPASTIC

I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT, MOVE IT MOVE IT

I WANNA HEAD TO EVERY CLUB IN THE CANBERRA CBD

OH YEAH THIS IS THE TIME WHERE WE REALLY PARTY

COME ON GUYS, GET WIGGLY WITH IT GET JIGGLY WITH IT

I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT

SUE’  THANKS AND NOW OVER TO, YO  DAVID AND HIS INTERVIEW WITH PETE NOWNEY, HERE GOES

DAVID’   OK THANKS AND NOW PETE, YOU HAVE JUST FINISHED YA GIG

AND YOU GOT A FEW PEOPLE DANCING ON THE FLOOR

AND I HAVE THIS LITTLE GIFT FOR YOU, IT IS THIS, HAVE A PEAK INSIDE

PETE’   YEAH, THIS IS WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED, A ***** DOLL

DAVID’   YEAH, BUT, IT’S NOT A ***** DOLL,

PETE’   NO, WHAT IS IT, SOME KIND OF TORTURE PRESENT FOR MY BIRTHDAY OR SUMMIT

DAVID’   NO, IT’S A ORDINARY DOLL, YOU ONCE TOLD ME, YOUR DAUGHTER LOVES DOLLS

SO I BROUGHT THIS IN TO SHOW YOU

PETE’  WELL, DAVID IT’S PRETTY RAD, I CAN GUARANTEE THAT MY DAUGHTER WILL LOVE IT

DAVID’   I NOTICED YOUR FIRST SONG, BEING THE LITTLE LOVE IN MY LIFE, IS THAT ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER

PETE’    NO, AND YES, NO IT’’S NOT MY DAUGHTER, BUT IT’S ABOUT THE MOTHER OF MY DAUGHTER, YA SEE

WE MET ON THE SYDNEY HARBOUR BRIDGE, I NEARLY FELL IT WAS BAD, DUDE

DAVID’’     DID YOU GET TO SEE THEM ON CHRISTMAS

PETE’    YEAH, AND I HAVE MY DAUGHTER WITH ME, TO SING O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL, YA SEE EVERY YEAR

WE CHOOSE A CAROL TO SING, AND THIS YEAR, O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL, AND I KNOW IT’S JANUARY 3 2015

BUT I WOULD LOVE TO SING WITH MY DAUGHTER STEF, OK SHE IS 10 THIS YEAR

DAVID’   OK TAKE IT AWAY PETE AND STEF

PETE AND STEF’

O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL

JOYFUL AND TRIUMPHANT

O COME YE O COME YE

TO BETHLEHEM

O COME AND BEHOLD HIM

BORN THE KING OF ANGELS

O COME LET US ADORE HIM

O COME LET US ADORE HIM

O COME LET US ADORE HIM

IN CHRIST THE LORD

SING CHIORS OF ANGELS

SING IN EXULTATION

SING ALL YE CITIZENS OF HEAVEN ABOVE

GLORY TO GOD, IN THE HIGHEST

O COME LET US ADORE HIM

O COME LET US ADORE HIM

O COME LET US ADORE HIM

IN CHRIST THE LORD

DAVID’  STEF, YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL VOICE, ARE YOU

PLANNING TO GO ON AUSTRALIA’S GOT TALENT OR THE VOICE THIS YEAR

STEFF’   WELL, I WOULD BUT DADDY AT P.RESENT WANTS TO BE THE ONLY SINGER

IN THE FAMILY

DAVID’   OK THAT IS ALL, AND NOW OVER TO SUE, WITH ANOTHER DRINKING SONG

SUE’   OK HERE IS ANOTHER DRINKING SONG, FROM KENNETH

KEN’   I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE COCKTAILS WITH GORDON

YEAH, IT’LL BE FUN TO HAVE COCKTAILS WITH HIM

YA SEE DRINKING COCKTAILS WITH GORDON

IS WAY WAY BETTER THAN DRINKING WITH KIM

CAUSE KIM IS A BIT OF A *****, AND CRAZY TO BOOT

I  LOVE TO HAVE COCKTAILS WITH GORDON, AND SPEND ALL HIS LOOT

I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A BEER WITH YOU, SUE

YEAH, I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE MANY BEERS WITH YOU

YA SEE SUE LONGWAYS, I REALLY ADMORED YA FROM A DISTANCE

AND WHEN YOU DRINK BEER AFTER YOUR 3RD OR 4TH

YA WILL LET OUT A MIGHTY BIG SPEW

IT WILL LOOK DISCUSTING, OH MAN, IT WILL OK

I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A BEER WITH YOU SUE

CAUSE YOUR A TRUE DUDE

SUE’   THANKS KEN SEE YA NEXT WEEK, NOW HERE’S DAVID

DAVID’   OK, THANKS TO ALL OF OUR SONGSTARS AND PETE AND STEFF

AND THE OTHERS, SO SEE YA NEXT WEEK ON PARTY ZONE JANUARY 3

Your the first and last thing I see
Early mornings and sleepless nights.

My thoughts of you waver between something more and nothing more,
but I know my boundaries.

In an alternate universe where everything was finally right it would still be wrong.
Nothing is right if you're not there.

Your mind is filled with secrets of mine
Ones that I would wish no one to hear
Except you.

I know what you think of yourself
How you feel
it nowhere matches the picture I have of you in my mind

And in the end my ramblings may not make sense on paper
but I hope you know in my ordinary teenage life
You are anything but ordinary.

Pretty is how she looks,
And passionate of books.
This girl is nothing like you ever met,
Rare and sweet like a latin alphabet.
Inteligent she is,
Caring too.
I think she is allergic to pine, a radical sign.
And her name is the first letter of each line.

PS : Dedicated to someone who wonders if I’m writing about her.
I am.*

Stef Devid Alexandru ©

Excusez moi mademoiselle,
J'espionnais votre compte d'instagram et j'ai regardé toutes vos images,
Parce que votre apparence peut mettre des modèles hors entreprise si vous décidez de poursuivre la mode,
J'ai une théorie sur vos origines et j'aimerais partager cela avec vous,
Vos parents doivent être profondément amoureux quand ils vous ont donné naissance parce que c'est la seule explication que je puisse imaginer,
Vous êtes ridiculement belles, êtes-vous sûr d'être une femme et pas une déesse?


Haha. Je suis sûr que vous avez entendu de meilleurs compliments, mais ma chérie est sincère,
Je peux voir que vous êtes une femme amoureuse d'elle-même et que les gens vous envient pour cette réalisation,
Peut-être que certaines personnes pensent que vous êtes détestabile, mais je pense que vous êtes admirable,
Je me demande ce que les gars doivent faire pour passer du temps autour de vous parce que le chocolat noir, les roses bleues et les conversations douces ne sont pas assez bonnes pour une femme comme vous.

Vous mettez-vous une robe rouge la nuit et dansez-vous au clair de lune? Parce que vous avez l'air charmant tous les matins entre-temps, le reste d'entre nous est encore désordonné,
Je n'ai jamais essayé de cocaïne, mais je suis plutôt sûr que vous avez le goût de vous,
C'était censé être un compliment, alors j'espère que tu peux sourire,
Je suis athée mais Dieu vous bénit coiffeur parce que j'adore vraiment votre coiffure.
Lorsque vous mettez votre rouge à lèvres, vous avez l'air si beau que cela fait la grande faucheuse pour vous éviter tous les jours.

Je sais que nous ne nous connaissons pas et c'est tout à fait ma faute,
Peut-être la peur du rejet m'a-t-elle pris dans la tête et maintenant ça me rend timide comme une petite souris,
J'admet! Je suis passionnément curieux de vous et il me tue doucement ne vous connait pas,
Bien que vous sachiez quelle opportunité amusante pourrait être?
Pour moi de prendre une centaine de photos de vous, car c'est ce que font les photographes,
Et cela me donne beaucoup de chances de vous admirer,
Je sais que ce poème stupide n'a pas de rime, mais même si, j'espère que je vous ai fait rire pendant un moment et que tout ira bien.*

Stef Devid Alexandru ©

One look into your brown eyes,
And all of a sudden my senses have been compromised,
Honey I think I've been hypnotised.
So what do you say ? I think it's time
For you and I to get to the next phase,
Because I am really tired to play this taunting game,
So let me spoil you with some romance for a change.

Let's catch up and play some darts and later we can pour love in our hearts,
I will take you to a more intimate place where we can finally get physical,
Because we already know each others mentally,
First we can drink some red wine at a hotel bar,
Then I am gonna rock your body and blow your mind,
Or we can just do it right here in the back of my car,
Baby on this night I wanna magnify all the things that you like.*

Stef Devid Alexandru ©

You take off some of your clothes,
Just for me,
Even if its cold outside,
I would like to think I am that hot,
And when you weren't ready for a shot,
I stole unique moments from you,
Then carefully storage and made them mine forever,
When I get distracted by your honest beauty,
You chewing my gum, stolen from my own pockets.
**** you!
Little thief,
When you're a mess,
I am there as a witness.
When you're about to cry,
I am ready to strike.
What am I?

- A photographer :)

PS: Based on a true story. My sarcastic friend would say the correct answer is; A stalker
I love her sense of humor. We're such a match.*

Stef Devid Alexandru ©

I built a wall around me,just to be safe.
Never let anyone to get too close.
Some people manage to break it,
Now they are forever in my heart.
I love kids, I think the little ones are adorable,
Yet I don’t wanna have any.
I appreciate women,
Though I rarely show it.
I like Romantic,
but I rejected it,
when it comes my way.
Music inspires me,
Poetry does too,art is beautiful.
Johnny Cash,Taylor Swift are some of my favorites,
They are both great playing with guitars.
I like to read in quiet,books are amazing,
Romance and Classics, definitely!
I like being alone,
Yet I am dying for a little company,
The right one.
Little gestures creates magic,
And makes time elapse slower.
Don’t believe me ?
Have her palm and play with it.
Stars are dazzling,
Moon is gorgeous,
It always reminds me of someone.
So mysterious,bright and pretty,
And so so far away…
She asked me if I know,
In every year,
Moon it's moving,
Inches away from the Earth,
She was right about that,
Thats why she hated this metaphore,
Now we are forever apart,
The more we get in touch,
The more we loose touch.
Photography,God I love to take pictures!
But never wanted to be seen in any of them,
To seize the moment,
That’s why I’ve got a camera.
I love to take shots of things,
And the people I adore.
Pictures will live forever,
And will last longer than us.
The best thing about a picture,
Is that it never changes,
Even when the people in it do.
I don’t believe in God,
But I hold on into hope.
I love hats, I have just one,
One I have shared it with a dear friend,
I have to admit,it suits perfect  both of our heads.
I dream a lot,about everything,
Tomorrow maybe it will be about you.
You’ll never know.
Reality is not always so nice.
But we get through.
So I love running,
I have a bad heart condition,
But that doesn’t stop me,
I feel more alive when I run.
One day I will go to Paris,
Now I am just imagining it in my head
As I am drawning  it on my paper.
Some drink beers, others drink coffee,
Me ? I am just enjoying a cup of warm tea.
I remember Oscar Wilde once said ;
“Women are meant to be loved not understood”
I disagree with that,
They can be understood,
If we would just listen,
Instead,we put our suits on “Mr. Solves Everything”
And we come up with solutions,lots of them
When a woman all she really wants is a hug,
And perhaps to be heard.
We shall listen to understand,not to respond.
I dont know much about love,I honestly don’t
But I do know this ; Love them as human beings,
And not as some kind of throphy or some object.
She is a treasure which can be easily lost,
If not treated her right,
Be kind and gentle,
Who cares if a woman is running late,
If she is wearing red lipstick,
Just for you.
She is delicate and soft,
Just for you.
Appreciate her,
Cherish her,
Or someone else will.
Men are cold by nature,
Until women melt their hearts out.
We ignore the ones who like us,
We like the ones who ignore us,
We Love the ones who hurt us
And We hurt the ones that love us
We are stupid that way,
So am I writing this cheap poem.
We are still learning things,
You are learning how to love
And I am still learning to write.
Writing is like having ***,
First you do it for love,
Then you do it for your lover,
And then you do it for money.
I am a writer,anything you say or do,
May be used in a story.*

Stef Devid Alexandru ©
29 Noiembrie 2015

They come and go like the ocean waves,
And she knows best not to trust just a pretty face,
Cause super girls doesn't have time to waste.

Boys offered her the world but she said a super girl has her own,
She couldn't care less because she was happy with her friends.

I pushed her away from me and told her that I couldn't stay,
She told me that she would always find a way,
You can't hide because a super girl can always fly.

Then she says I know how hard you try to make a super girl smile,
But it's okay as long I've got you by my side,
I know everything will be alright.

Believe me when I say,
This super girl can cure any ****** day,
And her super power is to love you at your worst.

Her eyes are so red but she told me not to worry,
Because even a super girl sometimes cries,
All she wants it's a hug and she will be just fine.

With one glance into my eyes,
She could make me always change my mind,
Yeah! she is that one of a kind.

She fought for me when no one else would,
Because is what super girls do,
I feel so lucky that she is my friend...
My super friend!

You know,
She doesn't have a perfect body but she has a perfect soul,
I would let go to my ego for her,
Because she is my super super girl.*

Stef Devid Alexandru ©

I caught myself staring at your picture,
Then l lie to myself that it won't happen again,
For your beauty I wish there was some kind of a switcher,
So I can turn you off every time you turn me on,
Because you're a gorgeous woman and you got me under your spell.

**** it I really do miss your softly voice,
So I am scrolling through my phone's agenda untill I see your name,
Calling you should've been an easy choise,
On a second thoughts, I let my ego to torn us apart,
I am really ashamed of the man I have become.

I am ignoring you but I can't stop thinking about you,
Yeah it's such a cliche but darling it's true,
I sang a duet with Rihanna 'bout "where have you been"
I am still looking for you in every woman I meet,
And yet nobody can replace the adorable you.

I like you like a little boy love his wonderful toys,
When we get together I feel enormous rejoice,
Spending time with you is something I do enjoy,
Now that you're a little older we can get drunk with a bottle of red wine,
We can have lots of fun cause' we will never be this young,
Needles to say,don't tell your mom about this or I'll get my *** kicked.

I felt your absence more than a hundred times,
It is like waking up one day with no teeth in my mouth.,
I wouldn't have to run to the mirror to know they were gone,
We both pretend that we are just fine,
Truth is we haven't been friends for quite some time.

Stef Devid Alexandru ©

Oh bebe i see trouble on the way,
But we are the rebels with young hearts
Who are not scared to go out tonight and  make a fuss about us,
We are lovers at first sight dancing in the pale moonlight,
They call us Beauty and the Beast because we are such a good match,
Others are suspicious saying what's the catch?
We are like fire&gasoline and together we shine like gold,
You are the garden & I am the gardener whose hands are never too old,
To take care of your thorns my one&only red rose.*

Stef Devid Alexandru ©

Excuse me Miss,
I was creeping a little on your instagram and I kind of looked at all of your pictures,
Because the way you look can put models out of business if you decide to pursue fashion,
I have a theory about your origins and I would like to share that with you,
Your parents must have been deeply in love when they gave you birth because this is the only explanation I can think of,
You’re ridiculously beautiful, are you sure of being a woman and not a goddess?

Haha! I am sure you've heard better compliments but darling mine are sincere,
I can see you’re a woman in love with herself and people envy you for this achivement,
Maybe some people even think you're detestabile but I just think you're admirable,
I wonder what guys must do to get to spend time around you because dark chocolate, blue roses and sweet talk ain't good enough for a woman like you.

Do you put a red dress on you at night and dance in the pale moonlight ? Because you look lovely in every morning meanwhile the rest of us are still messy,
I have never tried *******, but I'm pretty sure it has the taste of you,
It was meant to be a compliment, so I hope you can smile,
I am an atheist but God bless you hairdresser because I really love your hairstyle.
When you put on your lipstick, you look so beautiful that it makes the grim reaper to avoid you everyday.

I know we don’t know each others and that's entirely my fault,
Perhaps fear of rejection got into my head and  now it makes me shy like a little mouse,
I  admit! I am passionately curious about you and its killing me softly not know you,
Although You know what fun opportunity could be ?
For me to take hundred of pictures of you, because is what photographers do,
And it gives me plenty of chances to admire you,
I know this silly poem has no rhyme but even so, I hope I made you laugh for a while and then everything will be fine.*

Stef Devid Alexandru ©

In your presence my brain starts to froze,
I feel like a TV with a remote control,
One thing I know for sure,
You're the only one who can open my doors,
Because I am emotionally yours.

To be friends with you feels so cruel,
Love seems to be such a powerful tool,
But I just wanna keep you in the loup,
So here is the ugly truth;
People are crazy and times are strange,
I used to care, but things have changed.*

Stef Devid Alexandru ©

May 1, 2020

Beelines and Relics, that's what I'll make.
The Devil makes use of idle hands...

Two days ago, this corona virus thing, looked like a good relaxing world reprieve. A much needed slowing down.
But just like the construction builders who have worked throughout, that come in for coffee in the mornings, I wouldn't just relax and let it all slide.

I was on the phone to my mother the other month. "It's *******," I said. "When have they ever cared so much?"
And in Tesco the other day, a growing disbelief, a cynicism. "They can just mark in a car accident as a corona death," I overheard a guy saying to the clerk. "It's true," I chirped in.

Walking along the street today, masks everywhere. Signs up, billboards, ATM machines, corona virus this, corona virus that. Social distancing. NHS heroes.

I think now we are heading into a new form of control. Biological control. I was talking to Stef the other month, and he had the notion that in the future, people would need to have the appropriate vaccinations before they could get on a plane. Totally forseeable.

We, the human populace, the animal, biological component. Easily docile, easily, easily controlled.

The big guns may hit us yet.