Evelyn May 9
Bury a man and he stays
under your fingernails and in your pores, bleeding
out in every sweat drop and tapping
on the earth your favorite bass lines, becoming an itch
you only get from lying
on airport carpets knitted like mating tarantulas
or from picking at the underbelly of a scab.
For months you’ll smell like him.
Like a dead man’s hole.
moon 4d
A mind of a wanderer,
a peaceful place.
On earth it screams,
in here, it's sound asleep.
Breathing the air,
of the darkest night.
With all these stars,
shining bright.

A mind of a wanderer,
a surreal surrounding.
On earth it cries,
in here, it's drowning deep.
Into the ocean,
of the ancient history.
With beautiful mermaids,
singing lullaby.

A mind of a wanderer,
a high, high mountain.
On earth it lays low,
In here, it's standing still.
Walks a hundred steps,
on a steep pathway,
it even reaches the peak,
in time for the sunset.

A mind of a wanderer,
it stays here.
In a space,
which no one could trespass.
it is okay to be on your own, you don't have to travel around the world (in this context; having a big group of people knowing you) if you ended up feeling trapped and lonely. Everyone should just sit down and start wandering around their mind (in this context; enjoying warm company by a small group of friend)

It’s better to let her…
  keep those fancy shoes and bags
  if she comes to bed each night

It’s better to let her…
  have the house worn and ragged
  if the trim stays fresh and light

It’s better to let her…
  whine and constantly bemoan
  if she smells like summer rain

It’s better to let her…
  cash the checks you bring home
   —if she’ll whisper those words again

(Villanova Pennsylvania: July, 2018)
A W 2d
At only 18 years old;
He was a Jack of all trades

Had the passion of blazing flames.
The free-spirited heart of a dove.
Debating skills that reached high above.
Athletic gifts that even the most talented could adore.
A witty personality that was hard to ignore.
Smatter than most I've ever known.
Reckless with a charm that was hard to condone.
Courage that surpassed the bravest.
Achieved the highest, and came back the greatest.
Friendly as if he had all the love to give.
Always smiling,
leaving everyone breathless.

Conner binded a small community together before and after his departure.  

He may not be here with us to pray, but he can be here to guide us along the way.
No doubt in my mind is Conner going to give up so easilly.  
If his legacy stays, so will he.
He was a blessing to everyone who had the pleasure of having them in his life. Mary and Wendy, the most caring guardians of my friend who passed away two weeks after graduation in a terrible car accident that was devestating. He told someone he wanted to be remembred for something, I hope this surfices ❤ July 9th, 2018
I recalled the smell of junipers warming in the sun,
Or maybe mice nesting under the cupboard.
Or bleached linen hung out by Mum,
Reminds me of something about Dad from long ago,
You ask me…to say if it was gin;
There are things I can’t tell you, Son.
Some people think that it’s a sin;
So just use your imagination.

Another time I smelled crushed daisies of
The housemaids, I remember from Kleßheim.
Thunderstorms rolled down from the Alps at night,
Then turned at morning into clarified, buttered sun.
They remind me of someone’s blonde hair,
I just can’t tell you when or where,
So use your imagination.

Scent is the most potent mnemonic,
Triggering mystical cells inside,
Creating a stream of biophotonics,
Rapture returns in histrionics,
Tracking things from skin and hair,
To lips and eyes, to a groan, an intrigued stare.
Things we can never tell another, even if
He or she or they were there
What happened in those brilliant days?
Only imagination can say.

Crystal hanging in the window at nine o’clock,
Rays strike the glass, opening up the past.
Before me spreads a wide, green lawn,
Ladies and lords stroll with their finery on.
I sit and watch, while the procession advances,
Tricornes doffed and stays undone in dances.
Until the satin, silk and brocades lie on the ground,
Gavotte kisses become tender, sensual rounds
And naked, youth flees into woods.
And everything is happening;
Everything is good.
This is about memory, predominantly smell, how much we remember and what is only guessed at. The last part is about memories of a past life triggered by light in a prism.
As i peer through the vent im hit with a searing blinding smoke that burns my eyes.
I flinch and turn my head, close my eyes tight and try to remember how to breathe.
After a few blinks i peer out again
There she is
The driver of this metal machine
Shes got this stick like object in her mouth thats exuding that noxious smoke that burned my eyes so bad
Im gonna retreat back into my hole for now
As i turn though i notice the sounds coming from the cabin....the pulsating beat
I cant quite make out the words but the beat stays with me for awhile
Even after i begin to fall asleep...
Dun dun ch
Dun dun ch
Dun dun ch...
Dont question why a spider understands the concept of a car, an engine and a human but not a cigarette. Just follow along ;)
The skin I wear does not feel the same,
Yet your touch still lingers, still stays.
I want to claw my skin out until it bleeds.
Maybe then, you would finally leave.
I wonder how a snake does it, to willingly shed a part of itself and live.
There is this green marble
Following it down
It travels
Along the depth of a sizable tongue
Even, firm
A swab of spit covers it.

It loops through corridors
Circles around the tracks of hooves
Passes by a bush of thorns
A snake hisses as we scoot
On, beyond, past
A bridge that extends off into the distance
A light flickers there
As lightning bugs glimmer on and off
Off and on
Humming into the summer.

The crack of a whistle
A crooning moan
Round eyes
Round lips.

The green marble stays a while
Immobile stable
Until the breeze of the wind
Lifts it up and out
It jumps along the length of haystacks
Climbing onto the back of ponies
Neighing, a mating call from birds
Cry into the golden hour light
Our lenses pretend to capture
Fighting into the present
We run past our own shadows
Of our ancestors
Thinking our being
Must be much like mini gods.

I shut the lips of Bibles there
Tracing blood along the lines of my lean legs
I hover in-between the tent of the sacrament
And disappear like smoke
Into the corners of the highest ceiling
While the sermon and preacher
Neck and neck carry on.

It is here
In the humid hot humiliatingly haughty sun
Where full length white gloves
Replace clout and shame
Petticoats align with virtue and grace
It is here where you train
To sit near fireplaces
Chattering for hours
Relive the mighty past
Hear words of the gospel
Prospective pets your best companion
But you might catch and eat a new animal in the

It is here
In the sweltering beautiful heat
Where you're from.
Emmky 3d
We've known each other for long
But still, you can't say a thing
That would define me
What's that spark you see?

Well, I don't know
You have no clue what lives inside my guts
No way you could see within
So why are you still here, wondering who's under the skin?

I don't want you to get dirty, finding out who I am
Coz there's a lot of shit inside my head
And much more vomit in my heart, both can't be replaced
No point in cleaning it up, trust me I've tried many times before

And I don't really need you
To see the mess
People around me have done
Coz you've helped them too

I'm sorry that it's true
And there is no cure for me
So don't try to find it
Or else, regrets will hunt me down
Because you've wasted your time not only
On me, but on my issues, too

How many times have you cried because of me?
How many times you wished you were dead
Because your feelings were accepted but not given back?
Tell me, I'll listen before I go, disappear on the quiet bubbly road

There's bulimia in me, I figured it out
Vomiting feelings I've once accepted, not able to answer them
And now giving them back in the nastiest way possible
Covered in dark bubbles, smelling like death

And I would kneel by the toilet
Throwing up all the things I didn't mean
But said with a smile, hoping you'll be glad
Because we are friends, right?
It leaves bitter taste that stays for days
And I can't help but think

Why do they try to see the darkest part
Where everything is messy and covered in blood
Examination of my fakest smiles leads them to realization
There's something wrong with my heart

And I appreciate that you care, yet
I'm sick of it
I can't handle feelings of others and
That drives me insane, needing more shots
So I could spit all the mess out from my mouth and get rid of it

You really are there when I need
Thanks about that by the way
But you can't heal a bulimian heart
That's sick of all this attention that
You're giving me

It's not your fault, it's just me
Knowing people who get too much attached to me
Will get hurt
So my brain starts fighting against it, leaving my heart with a message

Don't let them in and if you do
Get them out like stomach does
When it can't handle the food
Don't play it nice

Still, I can't help
But don't want to hurt you
Yet you're difficult
So now I'm standing here
Saying these words I've made up
Of what I threw up
For the girl and boy who grew too much attached to me
It’s over, all over.
Our dreams have faded away.
Blackest January sadness blights July.
England beaten by Croatia
In The World Cup.

We reached the semi final
For the first time since 1990
Only to lose in extra-time:
Failing to see the danger
With our very youthful eyes.

So much to be proud of.
So much better than before.
We should have scored a hat-full,
But see the final score:
(One – two).

I really do hate losing
Whatever I watch or play.
It really will be ages
Before this pain fades away.

My defeats I long remember,
It’s from these things I learn.
Seeking to be a winner,
My inner passions burn.

We’re building to the Euros,
On in two year’s time.
Well ahead of schedule,
So losing’s not a crime.

The World Cup stays way out there,
Hopefully just on loan,
For in the hearts of England
Football has come home.

Paul Butters

© PB 12\7\2018.
World Cup Semi Final Result - England 1 Croatia 2 (After Extra Time, Half Time score 1-0).
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