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"stale" poems
I don't know how many bottles of beer I have consumed while waiting for things to get better I dont know how much wine and whisky and beer mostly beer I have consumed after splits with women- waiting for the phone to ring waiting for the sound of footsteps, and the phone to ring waiting for the sounds of footsteps, and the phone never rings until much later and the footsteps never arrive until much later when my stomach is coming up out of my mouth they arrive as fresh as spring flowers: "what the hell have you done to yourself? it will be 3 days before you can **** me!" the female is durable she lives seven and one half years longer than the male, and she drinks very little beer because she knows its bad for the figure. while we are going mad they are out dancing and laughing with horney cowboys. well, there's beer sacks and sacks of empty beer bottles and when you pick one up the bottle fall through the wet bottom of the paper sack rolling clanking spilling gray wet ash and stale beer, or the sacks fall over at 4 a.m. in the morning making the only sound in your life. beer rivers and seas of beer the radio singing love songs as the phone remains silent and the walls stand straight up and down and beer is all there is.
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44.3k
beer
washed-up, on shore, the old yellow notebook out again I write from the bed as I did last year. will see the doctor, Monday. "yes, doctor, weak legs, vertigo, head- aches and my back hurts." "are you drinking?" he will ask. "are you getting your exercise, your vitamins?" I think that I am just ill with life, the same stale yet fluctuating factors. even at the track I watch the horses run by and it seems meaningless. I leave early after buying tickets on the remaining races. "taking off?" asks the motel clerk. "yes, it's boring," I tell him. "If you think it's boring out there," he tells me, "you oughta be back here." so here I am propped up against my pillows again just an old guy just an old writer with a yellow notebook. something is walking across the floor toward me. oh, it's just my cat this time.
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38.5k
Are You Drinking?
It seemed the space between us became torn and Profoundly distanced.................... Jamming bony knuckles and spread eagled fingers, Lying their mapped out journey.....direction on point patrol.... Adorned by silver decoration, delighting in their skinned habitat Shafted, deceit punching the recipient of the poison digits Prodding and pushing their intent....dare you contradict The intended carved out dose of punishment, Risk and Safety......not yours and never would be; stooped Down under the assailing bony palmed attachements That delivered penetrating power, cupped around Your arm til it became discoloured, pressure points Backed you into a corner, up against the grain of the Brick wall, cold and damp, the odour reaching And scolding your nostrils with its stale internal vows Refuse, stretching and protruding its foul remnents An earlier life, when you were not under threat fades Your very existance in jeopardy, your eyes pleaded for Normality, willing someone to hear your silence, grip you Tightly, not with malice, but with bravery and valour Right now you need that shining knight, that white Horse galloping down the blind alleyway, yet you Know that won't happen for you're already sinking To the floor, the blow comes sharp and stings, warmth Exudes and trickles a path downwards, leaving your Body, finding the cold concrete beneath you, travelling Outwards................
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Sep 3, 2012
Sep 3, 2012 at 7:58 AM UTC
Wrong place.....wrong time
The poor keep moving as if relocation could reframe the algebra. They cannot see that repetition traces patterns in their life. New beginnings become as hopeless as stale finales of debt and desperation. Wishful thinking makes for certainties gambling against the odds of possibilities. Whispered prayers and incantations leaves no space for reason’s compass to steady and settle. If they stood still and mapped the moment both sides of the equation would simplify and they might construct a new geometry of anger. © M.L.Emmett
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Aug 9, 2014
Aug 9, 2014 at 10:09 AM UTC
The Mathematics of Poverty
i miss you so much it hurts my whole body. do you remember when we talked about going to seattle? you said you liked the rain and the fact that no one there would know you, i just wanted to be wherever you were. i was never afraid of the dark when you talked about yours. i still don't have words for what i felt when you told me the only other number you had saved in your phone apart from your mother's was mine. i keep telling myself you're not allowed to just exit and re-enter my life as you please, but i leave the door unlocked, so what does that make me? the last "i love you" from the last time we spoke, is still stuck to the roof of my mouth. other lovers have tried to pry it out of me, but the memory of you is like lockjaw. i miss you so much it hurts my whole body. do you remember the lizard you caught last summer? you let me name him forrest. if life is a box of chocolates, there are pieces missing, and whatever is left has gone stale. i can't smoke cigarettes in my backyard anymore without wondering where you are or if you're smoking too. i hope you're not drinking, i know you hate what it does to you. your secrets are still tucked between my ribs, i will hold them safe and repeat them back to you if you ever lose your way home. i miss you so much it hurts my whole body. do you remember when you told me about the person you were afraid of becoming, i said i wasn't scared, and i told you i was proud of you? i'm still proud of you. i hope you're in school or at least keeping busy. i hope you still make yourself laugh. i miss you so much it hurts my whole body. do you remember what movie we were watching the night you got arrested? i still can't finish it. i am holding the place. can we pick up where we left off? can we stand up and wipe the dust off? i never got to tell you why i only write in pen, or why i can't sleep with socks on, or about the day i caught god with his hands in a public fountain fishing for change. i'm not mad at you for disappearing, but i'm lonely. the only reason i haven't called is because i'm afraid of being sent straight to voicemail, but if i ever find myself in indiana again, you'll be the first to know. - m.f.
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Dec 21, 2014
Dec 21, 2014 at 11:04 AM UTC
the crow
i miss you so much it hurts my whole body. do you remember when we talked about going to seattle? you said you liked the rain and the fact that no one there would know you, i just wanted to be wherever you were. i was never afraid of the dark when you talked about yours. i still don't have words for what i felt when you told me the only other number you had saved in your phone apart from your mother's was mine. i keep telling myself you're not allowed to just exit and re-enter my life as you please, but i leave the door unlocked, so what does that make me? the last "i love you" from the last time we spoke, is still stuck to the roof of my mouth. other lovers have tried to pry it out of me, but the memory of you is like lockjaw. i miss you so much it hurts my whole body. do you remember the lizard you caught last summer? you let me name him forrest. if life is a box of chocolates, there are pieces missing, and whatever is left has gone stale. i can't smoke cigarettes in my backyard anymore without wondering where you are or if you're smoking too. i hope you're not drinking, i know you hate what it does to you. your secrets are still tucked between my ribs, i will hold them safe and repeat them back to you if you ever lose your way home. i miss you so much it hurts my whole body. do you remember when you told me about the person you were afraid of becoming, i said i wasn't scared, and i told you i was proud of you? i'm still proud of you. i hope you're in school or at least keeping busy. i hope you still make yourself laugh. i miss you so much it hurts my whole body. do you remember what movie we were watching the night you got arrested? i still can't finish it. i am holding the place. can we pick up where we left off? can we stand up and wipe the dust off? i never got to tell you why i only write in pen, or why i can't sleep with socks on, or about the day i caught god with his hands in a public fountain fishing for change. i'm not mad at you for disappearing, but i'm lonely. the only reason i haven't called is because i'm afraid of being sent straight to voicemail, but if i ever find myself in indiana again, you'll be the first to know. - m.f.
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57
Too much, too fast. Breathless at a stoplight. change fast must go I HAVE NO TIME everything/everything/today/tomorrow Always with the rushing, barely feeling, barely knowing where I am. Now there's nothing. It's a break, slow and stale. What do I do? There are four or five things maybe but none feel right and I can't bring myself to move. I try one thing, then another. No drive, meaning, purpose, feeling. Not even my eyes can focus on anything. Skipping, blinking, nothing. Slow. Give me back the whirlwind, or give me gravelike nothing. Nothing is right. I need power to feel and peace to fight or I am already dead. Please. I'm trusting You. Please.
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Aug 17, 2018
Aug 17, 2018 at 10:21 PM UTC
Whirlwind and Graveyard Calm
i was considering how within night’s loose sack a star’s nibbling in- fin -i- tes- i -mal- ly devours darkness the hungry star which will e -ven tu- al -ly jiggle the bait of dawn and be ****** into eternity. when over my head a shooting star Bur s (t into a stale shriek like an alarm-clock)
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I Was Considering How
When Villains Win Movies and books They're all predictable So unoriginal I dream of a story Where the plot is somewhat gory And the villain Isn't just chillin' The hero and their nemesis Are at a stale mate And their actions aren't repetitive Finally the hero's imperfections take over, and he hits too late The enemy takes control And the moment, he stole He doesn't hesitate A second, he doesn't wait Time isn't slowed down He doesn't take his sweet time So quickly, he cuts the line The end of the hero A new beginning for evil
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Sep 8, 2014
Sep 8, 2014 at 11:16 PM UTC
When Villains Win
Tonight is for the lonely people With stale cigarettes on their lips Watching the world With heavy eyelids
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Oct 3, 2014
Oct 3, 2014 at 8:01 AM UTC
Stale cigarettes
Love is a ***** soup going stale but steaming like it's brand new; And I'm Oliver twist walking up to the *** with a rusty spoon full of desire and hope asking for more but getting none. Love is a Doctor gathering dead bodies and shackling them up in chains; And I'm a green freak with Frankenstein bolts ****** through my head walking around with only a mumble to muster trying to love people who just want to run away. Love is a white paper rolled so finely, full of sedatives and drugs; And I'm sitting by a fire reaching in for a log to smoke. Love is puzzle made by Einstein and Sam Loyd; And I'm a child with eyes made of glass and hands made of thorns crying to my mother because that puzzle is a ***** Love is Navy Seal training on a beach covered in cold water spilling blood for a chance; And I'm a pot-smoking hippie who holds up signs and tells soldiers they’re monsters as I take a puff of death. Love is a ten-syllable word compacted into one; And I'm a hooked on phonics children’s thesaurus struggling to find a comparison that I can actually pronounce. Love is a white egg timer sitting on the fridge set to all nines; And I'm a busy housewife waiting to cook dinner at the sound of its bell. Love is a robber with a 45 in his belt; And I'm an eager dad trying to protect his family with a wooden stick. Love is hot coffee from a luxury beverage shop; And I'm a plastic party cup melting away. Love is a doctor with a PHD in heart surgery; And I'm a sick child waiting with his mother with no healthcare ******* on a free doctor’s-office lollypop. Love is a huge pink eraser; And I'm a graphite pencil struggling to write while me and the eraser fight. Love is a pickup truck speeding through town drunk; And I'm a lost puppy running through the same intersection looking for my owner. Love is meant for fish; And I'm a bird.
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Dec 21, 2012
Dec 21, 2012 at 12:18 PM UTC
Love
Love is a ***** soup going stale but steaming like it's brand new; And I'm Oliver twist walking up to the *** with a rusty spoon full of desire and hope asking for more but getting none. Love is a Doctor gathering dead bodies and shackling them up in chains; And I'm a green freak with Frankenstein bolts ****** through my head walking around with only a mumble to muster trying to love people who just want to run away. Love is a white paper rolled so finely, full of sedatives and drugs; And I'm sitting by a fire reaching in for a log to smoke. Love is puzzle made by Einstein and Sam Loyd; And I'm a child with eyes made of glass and hands made of thorns crying to my mother because that puzzle is a ***** Love is Navy Seal training on a beach covered in cold water spilling blood for a chance; And I'm a pot-smoking hippie who holds up signs and tells soldiers they’re monsters as I take a puff of death. Love is a ten-syllable word compacted into one; And I'm a hooked on phonics children’s thesaurus struggling to find a comparison that I can actually pronounce. Love is a white egg timer sitting on the fridge set to all nines; And I'm a busy housewife waiting to cook dinner at the sound of its bell. Love is a robber with a 45 in his belt; And I'm an eager dad trying to protect his family with a wooden stick. Love is hot coffee from a luxury beverage shop; And I'm a plastic party cup melting away. Love is a doctor with a PHD in heart surgery; And I'm a sick child waiting with his mother with no healthcare ******* on a free doctor’s-office lollypop. Love is a huge pink eraser; And I'm a graphite pencil struggling to write while me and the eraser fight. Love is a pickup truck speeding through town drunk; And I'm a lost puppy running through the same intersection looking for my owner. Love is meant for fish; And I'm a bird.
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26
...a diary of the falling dominoes chapter invisibly dying from the inside out no one is looking into unseen eyes no one can hear a muted voice fading no one is close enough to be near the deafening thrums echo anxieties’ racing heartbeat within morphing flesh shell , gasping for new breath in a hovering stale silence from a distance the broken mirror ricochets a subdued light ; much closer the reflection reveals someone I once knew by heart now an unrecognizable mask enshrouds a terminal emptiness inconspicuous at a fleeting glance , impossible to discern what storms rage from the inside out ,... unnoticed   an uncontained wildfire smoldering within,  lies in wait for the imminent winds of change to fan the flames into the final eternal silent ashes a poet reaches out demurely offering a candid look into the window of the imperfect human soul there is no poetry met by indifference just gathered unread words scribbled, squandered time dripped slowly on an empty page ; moments turn into days days turned into years invisibly dying from the inside out an unfinished life trickles out like seeping blood evanescing from a bottomless puncture wounding ... penetrating the heart, leaching out the slow death of a poet for poetry is only words unless they touch someone ... befallen to indifference is poetic death by salted paper cuts ... a muting suffocation that hiddenly erodes away, silencing the passion of a musing soul one unread word at a time ... © harlon rivers ... all rights reserved
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Jan 18, 2017
Jan 18, 2017 at 12:16 PM UTC
The Slow Death of a Poet
...a diary of the falling dominoes chapter invisibly dying from the inside out no one is looking into unseen eyes no one can hear a muted voice fading no one is close enough to be near the deafening thrums echo anxieties’ racing heartbeat within morphing flesh shell , gasping for new breath in a hovering stale silence from a distance the broken mirror ricochets a subdued light ; much closer the reflection reveals someone I once knew by heart now an unrecognizable mask enshrouds a terminal emptiness inconspicuous at a fleeting glance , impossible to discern what storms rage from the inside out ,... unnoticed   an uncontained wildfire smoldering within,  lies in wait for the imminent winds of change to fan the flames into the final eternal silent ashes a poet reaches out demurely offering a candid look into the window of the imperfect human soul there is no poetry met by indifference just gathered unread words scribbled, squandered time dripped slowly on an empty page ; moments turn into days days turned into years invisibly dying from the inside out an unfinished life trickles out like seeping blood evanescing from a bottomless puncture wounding ... penetrating the heart, leaching out the slow death of a poet for poetry is only words unless they touch someone ... befallen to indifference is poetic death by salted paper cuts ... a muting suffocation that hiddenly erodes away, silencing the passion of a musing soul one unread word at a time ... © harlon rivers ... all rights reserved
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50
what is a poet but a stymied wind stamping the same soil seen through polished lens firing the bugle sound to reach across some distant mountain pass not echo the same ignite fire stand strong find north refresh for old paths yield grey packages more stale subterfuge but honed solidity is found in structures built sound a new song of old notes rearranged to yield perspective deep
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Apr 28, 2018
Apr 28, 2018 at 4:48 PM UTC
what is a poet
Whispers hello as the first streams of sunlight inch their way in through their black chiffon veil, gleaming on our garden of stale breath, and down feathers. Whispers goodnight as his proud freckles become the constellations outside my window, and the moon stretches her arms for another night's work. Whispers sorry after his words became feather-lances jousting through my arguments until my armor was askew and torn at its paper seams. Whispers tales of tomorrows and fortnights to come under illusions of rich greens, blues, and yellows he will finger paint on my forehead like a warrior. Whispers goodbyes, sweet and forlorn, as he realizes promises and paints will not keep the morning from snatching his prized possession from his cotton laced roost, leaving him alone with just the rays of the sun to admire his tail.
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Jan 13, 2014
Jan 13, 2014 at 2:11 AM UTC
The Peacock
The world around me keeps spinning on, it is     fast          paced, smells become                                                  indistinguishable. The air stands still                                                     it tastes stale. different colours  b-l-u-r                                                         to grey A windowpane of                                                            rainy                                                                                                                patience. Voices                                                           screech                                                          painfully noises w~h~i~r~l                                                          to echos                                                                                                 not unlike sanity                                                          fleeing to                                                                                          a place inside myself.                                                An eye of the storm Next destination                                                               cool                                                                                                                solitary, timelessness-                                                                                                                      calm.                                                                                                 s e r e n i t y
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Jul 23, 2014
Jul 23, 2014 at 6:41 AM UTC
Destination Dissociation
The world around me keeps spinning on, it is     fast          paced, smells become                                                  indistinguishable. The air stands still                                                     it tastes stale. different colours  b-l-u-r                                                         to grey A windowpane of                                                            rainy                                                                                                                patience. Voices                                                           screech                                                          painfully noises w~h~i~r~l                                                          to echos                                                                                                 not unlike sanity                                                          fleeing to                                                                                          a place inside myself.                                                An eye of the storm Next destination                                                               cool                                                                                                                solitary, timelessness-                                                                                                                      calm.                                                                                                 s e r e n i t y
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29
My Arwen lies over Belegaer Beyond the Straight Road, lies my Evenstar Across the Endless Sea, in Aman she lies She wouldn't stay here just to love, but to die I remember her here, here in Endor When the beacons of Gondor burned bright. I remember her here, once beside me In the days before the long night In Imladris fair, as Estel I was raised In ignorance there, I spent by blissful days I lived, and I learned, and yet never yearned For she from whom I now feel so spurned I've had my Éowyns, but none quite compare To She, my lady, so radiant, so fair At Cerin Amroth we pledged our love To all, ourselves, and the Ainur above But the Darkness again spread Morgoth's mission again led The Fellowship was wrought The battles all fought The Age of the Firstborn was ended The Age of the Hildor ascended Our world together was split And really, that was just it She could stay here, forever, be mortal But ever so closely lay Mithlond ,the portal To a life without end, I can blame her hardly I guess Barahir's tale was never to be What’s this? You say she’s not yet set sail? But how can I stop her? Our parting was so stale! Sure Elrond's presence and Galadriel's glare May have done oh so much to damper our parting But as she goes afar I know I can't go there And her expressed frigidity, that wound is still smarting What should I do for her I adore? Run to the Grey Havens and stop the White Ship? But so much I must do, right here in Gondor, A King I can become, as my Queen give me the slip And the spirits are howling, The white tree is burning?! My power, my people BUT I CAN'T STOP THIS YEARNING Oh what shall I do? TO ERU ABOVE I have so much work, but I so miss my Love The tears, they are welling, the Ship has set sail In all my adventures, in truth I have failed! For what am I worth? No King has Returned And without Hope is Gondor, and the Stewards have burned Denthar departed, the mighty horn split The mighty White City left here to sit I could let it fall into disarray, Again a Ranger, I could slip away To die like the Ents, forever, no Wife Is there nothing to save me from this strife? A new dawn is rising, a new age begun My hopes might still clear with the new rising Sun I see its my duty, as Arathorn's son… what Isildur started, I must see done but still I mourn my loss… that beautiful star, which now like all others, I must admire from afar. ~D. B. Guy 09/02/2007
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Nov 3, 2012
Nov 3, 2012 at 2:21 AM UTC
Elessar's Lament
My Arwen lies over Belegaer Beyond the Straight Road, lies my Evenstar Across the Endless Sea, in Aman she lies She wouldn't stay here just to love, but to die I remember her here, here in Endor When the beacons of Gondor burned bright. I remember her here, once beside me In the days before the long night In Imladris fair, as Estel I was raised In ignorance there, I spent by blissful days I lived, and I learned, and yet never yearned For she from whom I now feel so spurned I've had my Éowyns, but none quite compare To She, my lady, so radiant, so fair At Cerin Amroth we pledged our love To all, ourselves, and the Ainur above But the Darkness again spread Morgoth's mission again led The Fellowship was wrought The battles all fought The Age of the Firstborn was ended The Age of the Hildor ascended Our world together was split And really, that was just it She could stay here, forever, be mortal But ever so closely lay Mithlond ,the portal To a life without end, I can blame her hardly I guess Barahir's tale was never to be What’s this? You say she’s not yet set sail? But how can I stop her? Our parting was so stale! Sure Elrond's presence and Galadriel's glare May have done oh so much to damper our parting But as she goes afar I know I can't go there And her expressed frigidity, that wound is still smarting What should I do for her I adore? Run to the Grey Havens and stop the White Ship? But so much I must do, right here in Gondor, A King I can become, as my Queen give me the slip And the spirits are howling, The white tree is burning?! My power, my people BUT I CAN'T STOP THIS YEARNING Oh what shall I do? TO ERU ABOVE I have so much work, but I so miss my Love The tears, they are welling, the Ship has set sail In all my adventures, in truth I have failed! For what am I worth? No King has Returned And without Hope is Gondor, and the Stewards have burned Denthar departed, the mighty horn split The mighty White City left here to sit I could let it fall into disarray, Again a Ranger, I could slip away To die like the Ents, forever, no Wife Is there nothing to save me from this strife? A new dawn is rising, a new age begun My hopes might still clear with the new rising Sun I see its my duty, as Arathorn's son… what Isildur started, I must see done but still I mourn my loss… that beautiful star, which now like all others, I must admire from afar. ~D. B. Guy 09/02/2007
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61
implosions are for starfish and our mission is clear. we have nowhere to be from and that's half the battle. we are seldom unbridled in the chastity of our carnal bluff... and our cages are breathing. we are finally designing our most daring Inertia. both mum on the details in the devil's flotsam. we jot some of the names of the nameless... on the outside of Dixie cups. like mint julep promise to a tangerine honest. again and again, we ache through the breeze of our soothing traumas. we court the verity of a sham. we blast through the congregation of our adversary, snipping varmints from a stale camp in the southernmost of our due south,; where they fear the bonfire until a vagrant maps the flaming tongues to a long kiss.... and we crash upon the shore of Never Asked. but regret This.
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May 9, 2013
May 9, 2013 at 5:21 AM UTC
implosions are for starfish
hearing useless chatter feeling gusts of breath seeing bleeding ink tasting bitter loneliness smelling puffs of stale air being a                   g  h  o  s  t  .
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Jun 17, 2014
Jun 17, 2014 at 4:42 PM UTC
ghostly
Tightened skin stretched around burning sockets dry eyes that want nothing more then to weep staring at non existent patterns of the ceiling trying to decipher something anything to bring release, blessed unconsciousness to float away for a time and timeless to not exist nothing until time to wake again to face this hateful world torn full of words and screaming to be heard only to rush to another endless night to lay alone with the voices and wish desperately to sleep tortuously the weary mind tired beyond comprehension is denied this most basic of escapes from life seemingly trapped here in this stale empty bed that reflects waking life. Send me out to the emptiness between galaxies and let me sleep forever in the cold dark peace.
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Jan 31, 2015
Jan 31, 2015 at 7:22 AM UTC
Sleeplessness
some are hidden by long sleeves and baggy sweatshirts, behind bloodshot eyes and stale breath written in light graphite on crinkled sheets in shoeboxes, therapy sessions and 2am text messages
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May 10, 2013
May 10, 2013 at 6:35 PM UTC
secrets kept
I am not in the business of being you or him or her or they we doesn't even really interest me. you hated me within the first 20 minutes like a shallow predator experiencing virginal danger you have the limbic system of a prey obvious to anyone in touch with their senses. you were threatened- you cracked a joke and among the robotic laughter and among the generic thoughts I stood back, blank-faced a novel piece of art you haven't the ability to muster up the courage to understand. aloud, I said it wasn't funny which I'm sure your emptiness already betrayed in a booming, and terrifying fashion *(I'm an intellectual sadist- I get off watching you squirm)* you know enough, that you have no basis that the status quo is the stale stream you do nothing but soak in. you're superficiality is so pervasive that your thoughts are unfilled, plastic discarded long ago by anyone with stamina (you're a carbon-copy of a Xeroxed person) looking the same as the others of your degenerate breed with much less vibrancy than the original and far less worth. your boundaries have been in place for so long passed down by generations of generations of generations great-great-granddaddy's barbed wire is the only thing protecting your prejudice. you're not funny- you're scared ashamed and lonesome. ashamed of the person you wish you could be but don't have the strength-or the guts to morph into lonesome because even yourself is someone you don't feel close to you are so basically human. I have no pity. for you are no Muse.
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Apr 24, 2013
Apr 24, 2013 at 10:07 AM UTC
Intellectual Sadist.
I am not in the business of being you or him or her or they we doesn't even really interest me. you hated me within the first 20 minutes like a shallow predator experiencing virginal danger you have the limbic system of a prey obvious to anyone in touch with their senses. you were threatened- you cracked a joke and among the robotic laughter and among the generic thoughts I stood back, blank-faced a novel piece of art you haven't the ability to muster up the courage to understand. aloud, I said it wasn't funny which I'm sure your emptiness already betrayed in a booming, and terrifying fashion *(I'm an intellectual sadist- I get off watching you squirm)* you know enough, that you have no basis that the status quo is the stale stream you do nothing but soak in. you're superficiality is so pervasive that your thoughts are unfilled, plastic discarded long ago by anyone with stamina (you're a carbon-copy of a Xeroxed person) looking the same as the others of your degenerate breed with much less vibrancy than the original and far less worth. your boundaries have been in place for so long passed down by generations of generations of generations great-great-granddaddy's barbed wire is the only thing protecting your prejudice. you're not funny- you're scared ashamed and lonesome. ashamed of the person you wish you could be but don't have the strength-or the guts to morph into lonesome because even yourself is someone you don't feel close to you are so basically human. I have no pity. for you are no Muse.
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46
fear flows through the night tainted shadows hovers above trapped within transparent darkness stale air creeping like a stalker every moment swallowed by sadness leaveing a hollow emptiness deep inside
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Jul 3, 2015
Jul 3, 2015 at 2:24 AM UTC
Tainted Shadows (30W)
at the track today, Father's Day, each paid admission was entitled to a wallet and each contained a little surprise. most of the men seemed between 30 and 55, going to fat, many of them in walking shorts, they had gone stale in life, flattened out.... in fact, **** it, they aren't even worth writing about! why am I doing this? these don't even deserve a death bed, these little walking whales, only there are so many of them, in the urinals, in the food lines, they have managed to survive in a most limited sense but when you see so many of them like that, there and not there, breathing, farting, commenting, waiting for a thunder that will not arrive, waiting for the charging white horse of Glory, waiting for the lovely female that is not there, waiting to WIN, waiting for the great dream to engulf them but they do nothing, they clomp in their sandals, gnaw at hot dogs dog style, gulping at the meat, they complain about losing, blame the jocks, drink green beer, the parking lot is jammed with their unpaid for cars, the jocks mount again for another race, the men press toward the betting windows mesmerized, fathers and non-fathers Monday is waiting for them, this is the last big lark. and the horses are totally beautiful. it is shocking how beautiful they are at that time, at that place, their life shines through; miracles happen, even in hell. I decide to stay for one more race. from Transit magazine, 1994
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Something about the woven leather Reminds me of sandals you once wore, In the garden enjoying the sun. Your shorts and that old cotton vest the one that was probably once white, but Nanny wasn't around to do your whites anymore, and so it grew greyer as your hair grew whiter. The sun's rays danced through the waves of your hair and into the garden, Filling it with light, shining down upon plastic flowers planted among coloured stones. Smells of stale cakes from bargain stalls and the sugar from flat lemonade in murky cups wafted out the back door and clashed with that overpowering cooking smell as you sat in your sun lounger and baked yourself in vegetable oil, cooking your Irish skin to a crisp! The flower patterns of your walls in the garden and cast iron patio furniture, The plastic mat that covered the carpet and always managed to trip us, The halogen heater in the parlour and blanket on your knees, The clumps of bullseye sweets in your locker and Quality Street tin of empty wrappers, The damp and stale smells of the kitchen in your care, The holy pictures and moving Jesus on the stairs, The bath marbles we loved to play with and how they'd smash upon collision, And the pink, silk quilt that enveloped your bed, They're all pieces in the mosaic that illustrates your memory now and they'll never be broken. I've glued them so tightly together it's as strong as your jaw! Your jaw, always known to make eyes water when you'd turn during a goodbye kiss on your cheek and crush our noses! Even when we tried to approach with caution! But oh what anyone of us wouldn't give to feel that again, just to say goodbye and think we'd be over to the Bluebell to see you again. So now I sit and look at the woven leather on my sandals and remember all the details, all the memories that are woven together to make you. Sometimes I wish I could click the heels together. Bluebell Bluebell Bluebell And be back in that garden, once more.
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Sep 20, 2016
Sep 20, 2016 at 5:41 AM UTC
Grandad Kinsella's Sandals
Something about the woven leather Reminds me of sandals you once wore, In the garden enjoying the sun. Your shorts and that old cotton vest the one that was probably once white, but Nanny wasn't around to do your whites anymore, and so it grew greyer as your hair grew whiter. The sun's rays danced through the waves of your hair and into the garden, Filling it with light, shining down upon plastic flowers planted among coloured stones. Smells of stale cakes from bargain stalls and the sugar from flat lemonade in murky cups wafted out the back door and clashed with that overpowering cooking smell as you sat in your sun lounger and baked yourself in vegetable oil, cooking your Irish skin to a crisp! The flower patterns of your walls in the garden and cast iron patio furniture, The plastic mat that covered the carpet and always managed to trip us, The halogen heater in the parlour and blanket on your knees, The clumps of bullseye sweets in your locker and Quality Street tin of empty wrappers, The damp and stale smells of the kitchen in your care, The holy pictures and moving Jesus on the stairs, The bath marbles we loved to play with and how they'd smash upon collision, And the pink, silk quilt that enveloped your bed, They're all pieces in the mosaic that illustrates your memory now and they'll never be broken. I've glued them so tightly together it's as strong as your jaw! Your jaw, always known to make eyes water when you'd turn during a goodbye kiss on your cheek and crush our noses! Even when we tried to approach with caution! But oh what anyone of us wouldn't give to feel that again, just to say goodbye and think we'd be over to the Bluebell to see you again. So now I sit and look at the woven leather on my sandals and remember all the details, all the memories that are woven together to make you. Sometimes I wish I could click the heels together. Bluebell Bluebell Bluebell And be back in that garden, once more.
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27
If you burn a flower, it happens slowly. (to you) It may be astonishing to watch and smell and feel, but just look at what you've done to the flower... There are traces left; the scent lingers, but that flower will never be the same. The colors are no longer vibrant. The flower becomes stale and dried out. It becomes so frail that touching it could wither the rest of what is left behind. The worst part is that you have never been, could never be a flower. You don't know what it is to be a flower, you don't know what it feels like when it is burning. You blindly take action against nature not fearing the consequence. Nature is there for you, nature takes care of you. Look at what you have done to this beautiful flower that you once held so dear? Foolish little boy; once you stop caring for your planet, the planet no longer takes an interest in you. It no longer respects you, feels the need to protect and nurture you. You have taken this flower, this gift of the universe and damaged it. When the rain stops falling and the gardens cease growth, don't curse the skies and the soil. Return to the empty flower-bed where you found that brilliant flower standing, firmly rooted in the earth and extending up to you awaiting it's water and food. Feeding you it's beloved oxygen. That flower is gone, it has moved on to a new life, with new purpose. Once you waste something away, you cannot get it back. The lesson is hard to learn, but none the less, you have learned it. It is a  s h a m e , the earth loses flowers every day for little boys to learn big lessons. kd
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Mar 30, 2016
Mar 30, 2016 at 6:48 AM UTC
Lessons from the Garden
If you burn a flower, it happens slowly. (to you) It may be astonishing to watch and smell and feel, but just look at what you've done to the flower... There are traces left; the scent lingers, but that flower will never be the same. The colors are no longer vibrant. The flower becomes stale and dried out. It becomes so frail that touching it could wither the rest of what is left behind. The worst part is that you have never been, could never be a flower. You don't know what it is to be a flower, you don't know what it feels like when it is burning. You blindly take action against nature not fearing the consequence. Nature is there for you, nature takes care of you. Look at what you have done to this beautiful flower that you once held so dear? Foolish little boy; once you stop caring for your planet, the planet no longer takes an interest in you. It no longer respects you, feels the need to protect and nurture you. You have taken this flower, this gift of the universe and damaged it. When the rain stops falling and the gardens cease growth, don't curse the skies and the soil. Return to the empty flower-bed where you found that brilliant flower standing, firmly rooted in the earth and extending up to you awaiting it's water and food. Feeding you it's beloved oxygen. That flower is gone, it has moved on to a new life, with new purpose. Once you waste something away, you cannot get it back. The lesson is hard to learn, but none the less, you have learned it. It is a  s h a m e , the earth loses flowers every day for little boys to learn big lessons. kd
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53
This city makes me miss you. And I would pretend to be surprised, but the ceilings in cities are always too high and my thoughts tend to wander. (For the record, I am less than impressed that they found their way back to you.) Last night, I swear you were waiting for me to fall asleep to climb into the rafters, and sneak into my dreams. I woke up feeling haunted and exhausted. Now you've been following me all day, and I'm tired of looking over my shoulder. Kissing him makes me remember the taste of your bitter coffee breath. His kind eyes contrast the complex hurt yours used to reflect. His simple, level-headed ways make me recall all of the circles our troubled words used to spin, the endless loops we were always trapped within. My ears keep echoing with the way you used to chatter nervously in your sleep. And I can almost still smell your apartment with the candles struggling to mask damp laundry, unwashed dishes, the smell of sweat and stale **** The heaviness collecting inside of my chest resembles the weight of your body wrapped around my lap the last time we spoke and the way my fingers still found their way to your back. I wonder if you understood the things my fingertips traced while our words started cornering us into our familiar place.                                                       We were circling the drain anyway, I was just another silly girl who thought she could save someone.                                  I'm really sorry                                 You should be I miss you Good.                                                                                                                                                               **You always saw through my ********                                                                                     it scared the hell out of me.**                      *I would have loved you exactly the way you are-unconditionally                                                                    You were always enough.*                                                                                                                            I love being miserable.                                                                                                 Well, you should probably get used to it.                                                                                                                We were circling the drain anyway... Our conversations are the world's worst song on repeat but I felt such smug closure after that night things finally felt finished or at least mostly complete. So why now did you feel the need to start the haunting again? Call off your ******* ghost, B. I am tired. Its over this time. This needs to finally end.
0
Jul 13, 2013
Jul 13, 2013 at 3:17 PM UTC
B.2. (Call off Your Ghost)
This city makes me miss you. And I would pretend to be surprised, but the ceilings in cities are always too high and my thoughts tend to wander. (For the record, I am less than impressed that they found their way back to you.) Last night, I swear you were waiting for me to fall asleep to climb into the rafters, and sneak into my dreams. I woke up feeling haunted and exhausted. Now you've been following me all day, and I'm tired of looking over my shoulder. Kissing him makes me remember the taste of your bitter coffee breath. His kind eyes contrast the complex hurt yours used to reflect. His simple, level-headed ways make me recall all of the circles our troubled words used to spin, the endless loops we were always trapped within. My ears keep echoing with the way you used to chatter nervously in your sleep. And I can almost still smell your apartment with the candles struggling to mask damp laundry, unwashed dishes, the smell of sweat and stale **** The heaviness collecting inside of my chest resembles the weight of your body wrapped around my lap the last time we spoke and the way my fingers still found their way to your back. I wonder if you understood the things my fingertips traced while our words started cornering us into our familiar place.                                                       We were circling the drain anyway, I was just another silly girl who thought she could save someone.                                  I'm really sorry                                 You should be I miss you Good.                                                                                                                                                               **You always saw through my ********                                                                                     it scared the hell out of me.**                      *I would have loved you exactly the way you are-unconditionally                                                                    You were always enough.*                                                                                                                            I love being miserable.                                                                                                 Well, you should probably get used to it.                                                                                                                We were circling the drain anyway... Our conversations are the world's worst song on repeat but I felt such smug closure after that night things finally felt finished or at least mostly complete. So why now did you feel the need to start the haunting again? Call off your ******* ghost, B. I am tired. Its over this time. This needs to finally end.
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