I wonder why you want to row
When there are just so many terms to know
Before you get in the boat and place an oar in the water,
Before you take a single stroke don’t think you ought to
Remind yourself of what they are, these parts and pieces,
Actions and orders that rowers use (but poets don’t)
So forgive me if I leave some out.
 
Let’s take a look at the boat (or rather the shell):
The seat you sit on,
​slides, backstop, shoes and riggers.
 
The skeg that stabilizes the shell,
​shoulder, saxboard, and pogies.
The top-nut that keeps the rowlock in place,
​swivel, stretcher and rollers.
 
Now for the oar (or rather the scull):
There’s the Spoon blade, the Macon blade,
​Smoothie or Tulip.
 
Ready (or not) for the stroke you take ?
An Airstroke (in the air) ,
​backsplash, backwater, or body stroke,
 
Go on bury the blade, check the cover,
​ but don’t catch a crab!
Mind out for the drunken spider,
​watch the feather and the finish,
 
Inside hand, outside hand,
​hands away, miss the water,
Leg back, lie back,
​pause the paddling, watch the pitch,
 
Release and recover,
​don’t shoot your slide,
Swing the stroke rate,
​and space those puddles.
 
Careful there’s no skying,
​and absolutely no washing out.
 
Ready for a repecharge?
Or perhaps you’d prefer an egg-beater?
Ask the *** to call a flutter.
 
Easy oars
​Hold her hard
Ship oars
​One foot up & out
Waist, ready, up
​Shoulders, ready, up
​Way enough!

Drug; he controls my brain.
He stirs an irresistible blend of chemicals in my body and convinces me to fall for him; he increases blood flow to the primitive areas of my brain and activates the circuits responsible for love and desire.

Adrenaline; he balances my stress.
He keeps my heart strong and healthy as thoughts of him and us dominate me and excite me, prompting me to get tachycardia (fast heart rate above 100 bpm) and my blood pressure to rise.

Dopamine; he regulates my focus.
He stimulates desire and triggers pleasure in me; I remember everything about us, then forget about my surroundings; I am motivated to please him, then I daydream and become unable to stay on task.

Serotonin; he stabilizes my mood.
He charms and induces me to perspire and relax, crave and distance him, lose and gain sleep, feel pain and relief, get happy and upset, and decrease and increase my immune system functions.

Medication; he forces my loveswept cells to go haywire.
He has cured my lovesickness, shooed away my regrets, helped me move on from my past, boosted my (self-)confidence, made me look forward to tomorrow, and offered me a ticket to bliss.

Oxytocin; he enables me to produce lovestruck hormones.
He affects my moral molecules as he attracts my undivided attention, pushes me to trust him, raises attachment and empathy, brings psychological stability, and encourages me to want to be closer to him.

Vasopressin; he causes me to secrete lovetastic chemicals.
He renders me monogamous and continues to have me hooked onto him; he makes me thirst for him, display amorous behavior, defend him and us, and maintain a strong partnership.

Did you ever see those circus performers with the spinning plates?
Plates on poles spinning, spinning, spinning
You could never understand how they kept so many up
spinning, spinning, spinning

Just as one is about to fall
you can already hear the crash in your head
the shattering of porcelain on the ground
they spin it again and it stabilizes
just barely

After many lost and half-won battles,
I never thought it would come to this.
I know your bliss and know your burdens,
Do not put me on your list!

I'm not giving up, I'm rearranging.
Towards you, I'd never be remiss.
I love you so much, I let you go,
And off I will ride, blowing a kiss!

I've fought so hard to climb your rankings,
I've cried many tears and slammed my fists.
When you run away, I will be thanking
That you gathered enough sense to abandon ship!

I love people who've moved me down
Or even crossed me off completely.
If I don't provide you with any fulfillment,
Why on earth would you not delete me?

Where you're on my list is a secret,
Do not take that into account.
Consider only how you're treated
And let your list battle it out!

I never want to outrank you,
Your academics, or your friends.
And if you're lustful, as I imagine,
I could never quite outrank ***!

Sometimes for you, they come in twos,
A two for one deal, so to speak.
You identify a perfect specimen,
Disclaimer; it is not me.

Anyway, this beautiful human,
Might have some *** appeal and more!
I realize you'll see them as having everything,
And rework your list in an attempt to score

I've seen such changes, such drastic switches,
When physical connection's on the line!
You cling to dreams, you make many wishes,
But this? Oh, well, never mind.

Regardless, don't make your list shared,
Like a group project google doc.
Only you can make the edits!
And make edits, don't ever stop!

Follow your ambitions, do what you want,
Travel, love, sing, and dance!
Study hard, go to the gym,
And give your wildest dreams a chance!

I was once a list climber,
I'd walk right up and say add me!
I'd walk right up and say higher!
I'd walk right up, but now I'm free!

Your list is on you! Take responsibility!
Don't let any list climbers climb!
Move them around like little cherries,
But don't you think of touching mine!

Some list cherries will be quite ripe,
And some rare ones stay ripe forever,
Some are rotten through the spine,
But they might hide it to be clever!

The scariest of all the cherries
Are those who look good, but contain
Poinsonous juices and false fairies,
To choose to be one is insane!

But rotten cherries need not worry,
For these cherrries can learn self control.
Once they realize their toxic nature,
They can completely reverse their goal!

Move up a list? They instead attempt
To hide away and be avoided.
I, my friend, am one of those cherries!
Do not drink my poison!

It's said that there are some brave souls,
Who would sip poison every day
Just to get closer with these cherries
And immunize themselves day by day!

And then, once their immunity stabilizes,
They'd move these cherries up the list!
This challenge is not to be taken lightly,
And it goes awry whenever it is!
Trust me, for some have drank my poison,
And they never want to see me again!

Be patient Nick, my therapists say,
Brave souls will wow you off your feet,
They'll drink your poison easily
And ask you when you're free to eat!

It's not easy to let me fool you,
It's not easy to try to not hide,
But don't be worried! I won't trick you!
I'll just show you what's inside.

And add me to your list? You'll know,
This would clearly be a gainless act
I love to love you so much and want what's best,
Thank goodness for my caring tact!

I can't believe I was a climber!
I'm so sorry world, never again!
And this poem is just a reminder
About how your wishes to list me should end.

The pity add is quite common,
Let climbers climb, they'll never know
That their addition to the list is false!
You take these climbers and their hopes

And raise them up and slam them down
Once they get too close to you!
How do I know this viscious pattern?
I have been pity added too!

Desperate times, desperate measures,
You hope to placate a climber's drive,
You think your attention is their treasure,
And will them to plainly survive!

It's a long way up and a long way down
When you are upon someone's list.
When you think upon your items,
Think long and use a steady wrist!

After many lost and half-won battles,
I never thought it would come to this.
I know your bliss and know your burdens,
Do not put me on your list!

Friday, 1211h
A man collapses at lunch
and his vitals spin away like
marbles: pulse, breath, pallor
rolling about on the floor
out of reach of the heroes who
shout his name, flash their pagers
like the batman symbol.
Someone get a doctor in here, now.
The old Vets shuffle out of the room
comment blearily on the poor guy
I guess after the War things do not phase you the same
but perhaps they didn't notice the hue of his lips.
And then he stabilizes, and I fall apart
aghast, aback, there is still tuna sandwich in my mouth
ground by my teeth into a diamond to monument the recovery.
The gurney rolls by, I know him.
My stomach falls to Ground Floor
in relief and despair.

That's the thing about long term care
these men are clever, they teach you so well how to live
that you forget they're supposed to die.

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My mother,
is strong like an island.
Her stretched islet arms
merges with my waters.
She comforts me,
when my sea world is rough.
She stabilizes me with grace,
giving self a place to land.
My mom,
strong as rock loves me.
And I love her.

StarBG © 2017

her serenading song
echoes out of Africa

bound for the supermassive singularity
that stabilizes our hearthfire galaxy

a hungry-hearted vision quest
embarked upon

midnight whispers
shared

like satin laces untied
and falling

bare human skin
delicately balanced upon
the sturdiness of geology

entangled quantum edges
caressed with the bullet hole
magnificence

cosmic boasting
of fingertips touching

entropy quelled
in the electromagnetism
of the inherent silkiness
of touch and release

epic cycles of common sense
disregarded

pretty alien machine eyes
stalking prey

in the full light
of a ferocious star

the transparent
kiss of new beginnings

fogging scintillating
soul-windows

until we emerge
crescendoed with stolen breath

splattered into giddy blots
of abstract art

the mystery of love
throttling unrepentantly
in the ******* half darkness

yet in truth I have only
the weakness of haphazard humanity
itching between my toes

so I bow deeply to
the magic of you
which somehow still

splashes us both
with liquid nitrogen embraces
that writhe ecstatically
against the cruelly delineated
boundaries of time's arrow

shattering us into slowness personified
time's children caught mid-air

reveling in the blessing
of their twin heavy stares

oh sky top diamond spark shimmer
how do you fuel love's infinite body ballet?

here I hear the heavens speaking
with mouthfuls of desire
that are somehow not desire

and if only I had more than words for you
brutally carved from the quivering lips

but I am merely a poet marionette
marooned to this asteroid
of sensitivity and outrage

a lone figure shrinking in the distance
as the sound of each plaintive step
hangs like a fruit juicy with longing

and the regenerative shadow
of your beautiful spirit

look how it stretches taller and taller
with each tick of the clock

see the way the kaleidoscope
of your desire

shifts all existence
into fresh perspective

this
at least

is real

this
at least

can never
be taken away

because I love you
and I am broken

the stars and your kiss
are tourniquets

so see the reflection
of yourself in my eyes

before we disappear
as if we were never
here at all

tequila strikes like
the thought of leaving
while the lime wraps
the burn
like you wrapping
your way back
around
salt stabilizes
familiar and safe
until I am ready
to walk alone
and take the strikes
of leaving
and not needing a chaser

called the poor man's meat
stabilizes blood sugar
combats cancer, beans

Life blossoms
Right, Left
Right, Left
Momentum gathers
Right, Left, Right
Left, Right, Left
Energy stabilizes
Left, Right
Right, Left
Gravity pulls
Right
Left
The brilliance
The rhythm
Watching it live
Watching it die
Holding onto the last swing
It all goes still

Sometimes my anxiety gets the best of me.
I can not manage to be stable.
At times breathing hurts.
At times my speech becomes slurred.
At times my hands start to sweat excessively.
At times I get unreasonably angry.
At times my vision starts to blur.
At times I can not grasp what is really real.
As my heart starts to erratically pound I know I am at the point of an anxiety attack.
I take in deep breathes and wipe my sweaty hands and try to ground myself somehow.
I usually focus on a happier memory I know is somewhere deep in my memory.
If I cannot recall an uplifting moment I distract myself and instead immerse myself in a crack on the wall or how many tiles there are on the floor.
As the blurriness takes time to fade and my breathing stabilizes, I think optimistically: I controlled myself, I am in power of myself and it is okay.
But at times it isn't enough and I relapse into the helplessness.
Each time I realize how far away I am from normalcy.
At times breathing is a chore I am too tired to do.
At times the crushing anxiety makes it harder to exist.
But there are moments of beauty which makes living bearable.
As I see the beauty I know there is more to life than pain.
At times I am stunned by the beauty that is earth.
At times that is just enough for me.

Lawrence Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com

                                 Time is not a ****** Tyrant

                                Cf. Shakespeare, Sonnet 16

Time cannot be a tyrant; it is but a created thing
Like bluebonnets, butterflies, and bumblebees
Painted with pencil or pen by a Hand divine
And set in place as a measure of being

Time cannot be our enemy; we live along it
And like the ground it stabilizes us in place
And like our eyes it gives us vision to see
Each other in our Spirited nobility

Life is not what we take nor what is taken
But what we bring -
Time cannot be a tyrant; it is but a created thing

Slowly with a touch,
The bed holds our bodies
Pressing hard against my mouth,
The strength of your lips push me down
Its dark and silent
Its already hot and heated
Our eyes lock,
And im not allowed to speak
As you undress me slowly,
My heart races happily
The excitement rises,
As we promise the night wont end
Wrapped with your hands,
My wrists are locked against the bed
My neck is shocked from your mouth as im gasping for air
******* the life outta me, i accept when you take control
Forcing your body against mine,
Your arms appear like a cage;
Making sure i dont move,
Making sure i dont escape
But i would never try to move in a spot so seductive
Phones silent
Door closed
Tv loud
The floor covered with clothes
As you take away all my worries and fears, my body relaxes
As you take away all my tension, my body becomes so weak
As my body becomes weak,
You become even more stronger
Your strength inside my body suddenly stabilizes me to the point where my arms squeeze you tight
And then i whisper inside your ear what my body wants more of..
An amazing disaster has our hormones going crazy
I feel the pleasure
And the beautiful pain
The bites from our lips to our skin,
The grip from your hands to my body;
Then your hand covers my mouth as your body raises my voice
The scratching from my nails to your back,
And then it gets so intense
There is no such word as stop

The plastic bag can not be opened with fingers; scissors are a good option or you may find grapenuts scattered over counter and under shoe. The crunch echoes under foot instead of between teeth, reverberating into the skull. Milk and yogurt dampens the effect with frozen blueberries coagulated in purple-blue clumps that a spoon pushes through the white waves cresting over tawny kernals of quicksand cereal 🥣. For good measure a seafloor of multi-grain flakes stabilizes this ocean of supposedly nutricios morning victuals. Where did those banana boat dingies come from?

-cec