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Cné Jan 2018
that’s just the stab
i needed
to live in reality.
Productive Sunday,
hopefully to be followed by
a productive Monday!
Motivated by a sting.
Jaycee Dec 2014
It's been a day or maybe a few,
That I haven't heard from you.
It's not exactly depressing yet,
But I know I'll cry soon, and get-
Cold sweats.

It's not like you'd care,
You don't give a ****.
I'm just sort of there,
To you, I'm throwing a fit.

And you say I have no right to.
Well what did you expect me to do-
When you're telling people such hyperbole?
Your mispresentations have flustered me.

I've never met someone so treacherous.
I trusted you and you put on a display,
Which I must say was completely impetuous.
Where did you come up with such nonsense?

I guess I never meant anything to you,
I feel like I was just a fill in for others.
Others whom you actually befriended,
Or maybe they're just like me.

Discovering that you're really a bully.
An emotionally abusive person.
Farhan Ahmed Dec 2018
I stand up, look with the eyes in the mirror
****** and red
Show my palm to hold the glass but i wipe
My tears instead
I know I might cry again, the cause I cannot
Erase you from my head
Maybe I go, I go and sleep, sync with my bed
Instead I hope you hope…. I do not have you at all
With wishes that the moments should have been dead
Then I will be banging my head, hate will rule over
Eat in me deep
feelings shall heap & the nightmares will be begging
For life… but no,
Nothing of this part of my bliss will ever change
Nothing will ever go
You will just be someone I would know
but death…. gently decorated lying in the coffin, waiting to be buried
Praying, wishing if I was staying up to see the flower grow off me
And let you pluck it off to give away to the one who replaced me
in you but are you freaking kidding me?
Because I will wait till someone tells you, ‘Get off me, you’re irritating me’,
And send the news to my fellow dead one’s you can now rest in peace
It was one of the days, she says, she wants to speak with you,
‘look at this kid, he wants to be someone like you’
Green land, holding hands, I’ve been dreaming
about bands of colors in slow motion of the portion of it.
I wish to remember a part of my emotion. I check the album turn up the pages and recall the moments in a negative version.
I shout out and screamed
I was told to closeout a deem or maybe hold to be
what I’m not supposed to be
I loved you, adored you, the same I wanted for me
but though I knew life is not how it promises
then I forget I ever lived in the premises
where you were the nemesis all I did was anything to make you feel home
not just bricks and layers If we really know what living is
I am trying to unload, trying to whisper and speak to whatever, whoever I’m not,
now because I’m lost, it has cost me more than I can imagine maybe one day I can

maybe one day I can ignore you begging when you completely lost me
I picture, picture of smiles in hundred different files when I was talking about you holding me then
now one of us is smiling, piling up memories, checking in and out then
I see him, walk past me in a disguise; I know what he tries, never look me in the eyes.
English Jam May 2018
Boredom on a Sunday is inescapable
I try to hide it behind playing my musical instrument
Trumpeting with my trumpet - blowing my own horn -
I'm praying no one interprets that last sentence as an innuendo
Anyway, I'm nodding off, signing out of reality
The world goes hazy in a second
And I'm ****** into the vortex of a dream

Weird how when a dream begins, we immediately understand the situation
For this scene, I'm spewing blood from my spleen like a bottle of sauce squeezed too hard
It stains the leather of my vehicle
My foot is pressing the pedal to the floor, and the speedometer is twinged in half from all the pressure
The monolith of a highway I'm speeding on shakes as though giants stomp upon it
And the wail of a siren drives me into a frenzy as I try to escape the inevitable
Their polychromatic lights dance at the edges of my eyes, spurring rhythm into action
Even though they must be aeons behind, my heart melodramatically pumps in my chest as though the police are in the backseat
Blood bursting through my temple, thoughts wheezing by like someone's let go of hundreds of balloons  
Up ahead, the road twists itself into a knot of nothingness
My hands are wrapped around the steering wheel so tightly, I fear I might never be able to release them
It's a slight movement: right hand goes down, left goes up, but it kicks the vehicle sideways
My body slams into the car with a satisfying crunch and my mind spirals to spaghetti strands
Oddly enough, the world becomes rinsed with blue wash and I'm underwater

My train of thought becomes peaceful, melodic
I float about, running on the inverse of the waves
Here, even a scream is joyous as it sounds all bubbly and childish
Suddenly, a red streak runs across the ocean, chilling me to the bone and erasing all my bubbles
The sea becomes glittered with red and blue streaks, a warning
Bullets stab at my spleen, reminding me of the pain that was, and still is
And my body gears into a full 360, concluding my return to the real world
Or is it the dream world?
Oh well
Either way, I'm back in my car
Carelessly freefalling from nowhere
Weapons, glass, blood droplets, pocket change, pedestrians...all breeze around slowly
Pleading with me to wake up
Then

Everything crumbles, and I smack my **** head against the window, splattering my brains everywhere
My car flew from the sudden turn and I crashed, I think
Now I lay, grasping onto consciousness while pedagogues staple me to the ground
The Lawman towers over me, grinning madly at my defeat
The most barbaric insult, however, comes from the radio, still magically working
"I fought the law and the law won," The Clash idly sing
One of my favourite songs turned into dark irony
The last I remember before blacking out is the scarlet and marine lights clashing forevermore

When I wake up, I'm face-down on the stony and icy floor
The cold burns me enough to wake me from la la land
The iron grip of the handcuffs feels very real
Words are forced into my head, not by my own design, but sort of like they've been placed there
An argument as to whether existence has a meaning is taking place in my head, and I can't stop it
Sort of like how in a dream, you can't control your thoughts or actions
Wait
This is still a dream, right?
Right?
soul Nov 2018
Get up in the night,
In my mind to find the light
Holding the white candle,
But Darkness was getting hard to fight
Lost in the narrow woods,
No space between the tree to peek outside,
There goes the stars shinning  bright
moon being the cheater snatching all the lime light,
In my heart I feel a tide
Of emotions that wants me to hide,
There lies my injured heart
With a arrow along the middle side,
Something blinds my vision
Like it doesn't want me to see ,
The picture of the site that had fleed
All my sense comes to stand still,
When their happy memories comes to live
With champaign in one,
And the knife in other
That they used to stab me,
Multiple times without a hustle
For moving on you have to let go, then how come I am not able to let it go?
King Panda Oct 2015
we are monsters
from the boutique to the
embroidered throw pillows the
pen dashed around the neck
stage 5 bone cut
sawing ossification to the
hollow core

we are monsters
hooting in tunnels lined
with bats coming out to feast
creation
to scrape the streets
shimmy the walls
bust the coffin and
succckk

we are monsters
who can't enter under the
doorframe
fearful of being burned by
the sun silver stake
rat poison holy water sickle
and windmill ash

we are monsters
sewed stapled dead meat
skin hair plugs ceramic
teeth tested and tasted by
rats

we are monsters
jumping high over white
fences frenzied explosion
running through corn
angrily bled in a field shot and
hunted like embarrassing
waterfowl in the jaws of
mammalia

we are monsters
of flaming brilliance flashing
in your inbox
read us and gnaw
braised
roasted
grilled limbs
watch
as we watch you
be scared and
stab
I promise we don't die.
Lady Narnia May 2016
Oh, how dark our history is
You, my author of misery and pain
With fingers set to scribble my demise
This is our story, writ with chaotic pen

One that left calamity in its wake

You would always start the chapter
Every page inked with words of black
On the point of a pen, you'd viciously write
Using the sharp edge to stab into my being

Scripting, deeply, my eternal damnation

You erased my name and made me delusional
Always forcing me to your divine will
For the pen, always mightier than the sword
Was kept toward the edge of my neck

Swearing to strike at any given moment

Always determined, I'd end our sentences
Fighting to gain balance and bear the final period
Yet it was not without consequences
For you and I were wrought with scars

Etched into the bottom of our hearts, a burning black

If only these words painted a happy picture
But the thousand only paint a picture of pain
A dreary battle between two broken forces
On timeworn pages, brittle-ing on and on

Begging for the piece that holds our final chapter

And that chapter swiftly came for I was the ending
Leaving in the night, gone without a trace
With no words or ink left as a guiding clue
Carefully escaping from your paper prison

Free from the agony of the writer's press

On that day, I began my life again
Starting a happy story; free, original, and new
A home of letters filled with love, life, and joy
Where I'd never dare see you again, my dear, dear author

And never bleed black from your miserable weapon
Lyn-Purcell Jun 2018
They may use you
abuse you
slap you
kick you
shoot you
stab you
curse you
mock you
choke you
tear you

and at times,    defeat you
in that time a   n   d time alone
They may do   all    this because
they know you can reach the
heights, the impossible,
that they can only
dream of
but

they won't      ever destroy
you.    You        know       when to be
a tempest and     when       to be tranquil
You know when     to         be a flicker and
when to                     be                        a flame
When to shake the        earth and to sprout
they may put so much energy to see you
on your knees, vulnerable and weak,
but as long as you continue to
rise to your feet, they will
be blinded by the
light of your
glory.
Feeling a lil optimistic now. You know, I can say that there are ALOT
of people I can list now that really want to see me fail, friend and family.
Shame but at least I know who I can and can't trust. I'm on that level of
consciousness now. This is a poem dedicated to them.
To let them see me down is a victory to them.
But it'll always be hollow because I will have that strength
to get back up again.

If anyone is in need of more fire to their flame, I hope this poem is at least a drop of fuel / a piece of wood.

Be back soon!
Lyn ***
Fredrick Njoroge Sep 2018
Sometimes sacrifices are
Necessary in order to climb
The monumental ladder of life
Enemies to attack you out of spite
Fight night just around the corner
Are you ready for the opponent?
Shaken but not stirred my views
On daily living all taken in at once
The ones that say they'll be there
Can stab you in your trust with
Their rusty pulse can't slow down now..
Leviathan Andrew Sep 2014
Take a knife
Stab me
Take a rope
Hang me
I won't stop you
I'll even help you
Take some pills
Dose me
Take a bat
Beat me
I won't stop you
I'll even help you
Throw me
Off the bridge
Take a towel
Suffocate me
I won't stop you
I'll even help you
End this life
Make it a ******
Or an accident
To save the ones
Around me
This is the end
So long and goodnight
stefan badham Nov 2017
out of the shadows they appear
eyes narrowing
poetry gangs
The Cliques
and The Obliques
clicking their fingers
like in West Side Story
but on keyboards instead
loving or hating each other
shouting it from the rooftops
or in silence
all dancing together
or attacking
with the finger
stab! stab! stab!
the biggest gangs
that fawn and flatter
the smallest gangs
that really matter
better to run with the latter
Vivian Alvarado Mar 2017
met a man once
and he took me to a steakhouse
the type where tuxedo men come back
with a twee bite-sized piece of meat on a plate
he ordered my steak for me
and though it glistened
the slab barely satisfied
the ***** in my teeth
i was starving
and he kept talking about
business deals
and networking
to the type of cars that make him hard
which one of these thousand ******* forks
is best to stab?
making friends
with a bunch of pruned men
chatting business
he introduced me
she speaks Spanish
how exotic
raw and juicy
STEAK
sure does go well with potatoes
i started ordering loads of wine
when they all agreed that it was time
to make America great again
i downed even more down my throat
‘till I was seeing spuds in Versace
drinks for everyone!
we ordered like five bottles
so drunk
that I started mooing
but if this gasbag ever hopes to get laid
he’ll need to go to the slaughterhouse for that
meanwhile, let the bartender do the milking
Love's, but a *** of fool’s gold
It has you captivated, and excited about finding something valuable, then you wake up, and find that ti's but just a fake. It can stab you in the back and hurt worse than a stake. Love is, but a *** of fool’s gold you may find, and behold. But remember its but a *** of fool’s gold.
I was inspired when I heard of a poem called fools gold. And I decided to write a different poem about how love can catch your eye and still be a frod, well love these days are most likley to be fools gold, but there is always going to be real love out there nomader how the world changes, there is a *** of gold at the end of every rainbow (every good one anyways..). https://hellopoetry.com/poem/1954189/fools-gold-to-a-romantic-soul/
Stephen E Yocum Aug 2013
When I was young,
I chased only fun,
My head all filled,
with ******.

I wrecked some cars,
Got into some fights,
Broke a bone or two,
But never learned my lesson.

There was right there,
A guiding Light,
That shown out,
From within my Father.

He knew the ropes,
Had run the course,
He'd even been in prison,
But me, well,
I was too "smart" to listen.

We butted heads,
The Old Man and me,
But I remained too
stubborn, to heed,
His hard won
Sage advise.

To me back then,
Some of his words,
sounded silly,
trivial and small,
'Cause, at my tender age,
I still reckoned,
That I just knew it all,

When he died,
We all cried,
After all he was
my Father.
But gone is gone,
And I wanted fun,
Off I went to find it.

Still a young man,
I chased that fun,
going a little wild.
Ignoring most everything,
The old man had advised me.

In a bar,
the "Memphis Star"
A guy pulled a knife,
to stab me.

In a full blind rage,
I triggered my response,
And stole that man's
Life forever.

As you can imagine,
Right about then,
All **** commenced,
My plans and direction,
All took a correction.
Everything changed forever.

Now as I sit thinking,
Within this rank prison,
I dearly wish that to,
My old Daddy's wisdom,
I would have devoted,
much keener attention,
Avoided this, final pit fall.

Tomorrow mornin',
A Hangman is comin',
Music Crescendo,
Base drums rollin',
I finally rapidly drop,
to the end of my own rope.
Cause that's all he wrote,
The curtain descends,
to a last goodbye I'll be goin'.
Not autobiographical, thanks be
to all the Gods. But I have met
this guy. Perhaps we all have.
To any previous reader, I have
modified the ending, thinking that
perhaps this fellow needed further
"straitening out". And surely he got it!
Kara Jean May 2016
Tightly forcing her body against the clay
Scraping her tarnished skin, on its unforgiving stones
Determined
Unhinged, narrow thought became disturbed
Intention, soaking the soils energy
Becoming one with nature
Persuit, rapid decaying
No trail of life
Evidence faded
Secluded mountain peak
30 miles in, her only goal accomplished
Her pocket knife she holds over head
Pretending to cut the fluffy clouds in half
One fast Stab
She lays in her vanishing grave
Maitri Jan 9
All I gave you was love and care
even if I was slightly bend from previous 'experiences'
All you ever did was stab me with words , breaking me further
And return those broken pieces wrapped in the cloak of betrayal
- The one you left broken
Purcy Flaherty Jan 2018
My sociopathic mistress ~
Initially she began contacting me over the course of a year or so and increasingly over the last few months she started visiting me, helping me, caring for me and occasionally employing me in different ways.

She’d just had a break up a few weeks before, explaining that things hadn’t been right in the relationship for some time!

She presents herself as respectful, thoughtful, gentle, kind and considerate and after what seemed to be a very short length of time; unexpectedly declared that she had feelings for me; regarding love, admiration, desire and some other adventures.

She then began to bombarded me with love talk; occupying around 70% of my time gaining my trust, I was swept off my feet; as she took a great deal of interest in me, learning everything about me, what I liked, where I would go, always asking what I was thinking feeling, how she could help and I was flattered and she was charming, though a little awkward at times.

As our friendship grew she started sharing her "back story" ~including some tragic life experiences; she vilified her past lovers, and ex-partners and branded them as crazy or bitter liars and troubled souls; gaining my sympathy, whilst securing my allegiance, and keeping me on side; keeping me close. ~ drawing on my compassion loyalty & trust!

During intimate moments she would sometimes seem a little awkward, false or acting a little insincere and I made allowances for this given my knowledge of her backstory. Re~ (The tragic life events & experiences)

She began to chose and buy me clothes outfits, take me shopping gradually altering my outward image and appearance.

She introduced me to her friends but was careful to keep me and them at arms-length, I realise now that she was building an alternative profile of me in their minds.

She soon started to embroil me in her own rituals and compulsive behaviour’s, explaining that tasks needed to be performing in very specific ways to prevent her getting distressed!

She made many promises :
"The hook"
It was my expectation i.e. waiting for some of those promises to materialise that kept me hanging on; This increased her control and exited her too. (None of her promises came to fruition!)

She gradually had a hand in almost every aspect of my life i.e. my home, my work, my friends, family, my finances, the way i dressed, the food i ate and many other things besides, much of which I didn’t realise until our relationship was finally over.

“Dupers delight!” ~ She often took immense pleasure in duping, individuals or a companies out of something through theft, shoplifting, or getting something for nothing, a profiteer, a chancer!
To question or challenge her authority would result in seeing her façade slip and I’d watch her decline into meltdown.
It's at that point, she would lose control of her emotion, lose composure and rational and I would see her irrationality come to the fore revealing the real person underneath ~ childish, contrived and fragile ~ It’s as if control is the glue that holds her together, without it she just falls apart , she can’t be consoled and it’s impossible to calm this situation; and it’s this point she would attempt to regain control by “Gas lighting” me, she would distort the truth in an attempt to damage my self-esteem, to make me question my own mind, my words and any actions , apportioning blame, pointing fingers making me feel guilty, or using hurt, sorrow, shame or *** to pacify or regain control over me and my actions!

These episodes would appear often though irregular and I would always be deemed at fault! ~ She “never” took responsibility or made any apologies for her conduct; she would also go out a lot and lie or bend the truth as to where she had been; I never challenged this behaviour!

When the relationship was finally deemed over! ~
I began to see my new position in the cycle ~ she immediately begin to vilify me in order to give credence to her “New backstory”, I felt very confused, disorientated and emotionally fraught ~“Shell shocked” questioning, how much of our relationship was true and how much was a lie? For everything I thought I knew was now knitted together with a very complex web of loyalties, lies and half-truths.

Her pattern of repetitive and controlling behaviours have seemingly remained unchanging thoughout all her relationships!

Within two weeks of being apart she told me that she had fallen in love (My replacement) someone she’d had her eye on for some time, some-one she admires, someone kept in the background, a friend a mutual acquaintance, and thanked me for bringing them together.
The grooming of her new lover would have come about in exactly the same way as previously described. It's her "MO"!
(Her pattern of behaviours, her techniques are fixed.)

Her parting statement to me was ~ just a playful stab at my heart; in the hope of provoking a negative response which would then serve to validate her new "back story".

She’s incredibly self-conscious, her biggest fear is that other people will find out about her true demeanour, her image and appearance is everything to her.
(She's afraid that people will shun her for being so very different)

Full circle~
I too must join the ranks of the discredited; labelled a liar, troubled, bitter and crazy.

She then secretly contacted my friends, family, fellow musicians.

I suspect that she may even attempt to vilify me with authorities or threaten some form of legal action as she has to others in the past!

I'm still drawn to her despite my knowledge of her sociopathic nature, and all the things that go with it ~ her constant need for attention, her lies, her infidelity and her deceit and I feel no malice towards her.
I'm intrigued  bewitched by the person hiding underneath the façade!
I know that person is far more interesting, beguiling and attractive than the façade!

Now the dust has settled ~
I’ve somehow remained sound of mind, I don’t feel guilty and I’m aware that I’ve been manipulated into thinking and acting in ways that don’t truly represent my character and that I’m just one of many people seduced by a sociopath! ~ Just another natural human variant , a person devoid of true empathy (for others) and that has developed a narrow set of skills and mirroring behaviours, which allow her to blend into mainstream society in order to feel safe, secure and in control!

She would have preferred to add me to the hareem a bank of beguiled individuals that are occasionally called upon,; kept on the back burner in order for her to use in the future or simply to monitor and re-assess her handwork and power over me.

The last time i saw her she began with nervous politeness and finished with veiled cruelty, I left this experience feeling drained, uncomfortable and quite fazed.

I hoped this incite would help myself and others to understand whats transpired once they're hooked; though i'm sure the next person will ignore any pre-warnings as just ramblings.

Individuals are driven by the natural pursuit of love, *** and romance rather than following advice of seemingly bitter ex...

One reason you and I might attract the attention of a sociopath is because we shine like stars !
Stars are both attractive and enhance the image and status of the people around them.

A  sociopath will orbit a shiny star draining its energy until its a done before slingshoting to a larger more attractive orbit!
*** is simply a tool for manipulation or pleasure;
There is no love or empathy only stepping stones!

Good luck brothers & sisters.
She loves to watch you ***!
Doug Miura Aug 2018
An attack every 3 seconds
1.5 rapes a minute
"It's not going to happen to me!"
Your thoughts too?
Don't prepare
Are you ******?
Ask yourself
Is that me?

A person attacked every 3 seconds, 1.3 rapes per minute! Muggers scan the crowds watching for aimless wanderers dressed well. Someone that is not paying attention to his or her surroundings that isolates themselves in an alley or parking lot becomes a target. Parking a van next to a woman’s car and having her help his disabled self was how serial killer Ted Bundy abducted his scores of victims. Get in through the passenger side or have someone walk to your car with you if see a van next to your car. If you think this is being paranoid then you may end up dead! Criminals scan parking lots for women sitting in their cars. In parking lots buckle up and go or make the headlines!  Victims & support, 1/10 prosecutes and recover almost over-night; because prosecution win or lose makes you feel like you didn't just take ****. Visit rainn.org to chat one on one with a trained RAINN support specialist any time 24/7. 78% of rapes were by someone victims trusted! Avoid humiliating men. 1.3 rapes per minute! If on the street avoiding attacks is best. Be very vigilant, 9/10 attacks from behind. Always walk against traffic and watch for stalkers in cars. If threatened I put my hand into my coat pocket and say, “I have a gun!”  It stops even multiple attackers but watch for hidden assailants.

If an attacker grabs your arm, quickly twist it towards his thumb, while using your arm against his thumb. Immense attackers simultaneously jab your held arm’s elbow at him and the leveraged movement frees you. Get it right and your wrist will be free easily. If you see a punch coming aimed at your face, bend your head down so he'll break his hand hitting the top of your head. You can also bend your elbow and use the shield formed to block blows. Surprise counter-attack! Press thumb against four fingers, hard, and you have the Kung Fu "Crane." Jab or swipe it quickly at your attacker’s eye, hard! If jabbing aim through your target, at the back of his head so when he pulls back you get his eye. Strike the front of neck, kidneys, *****, and stomach. Kick no higher than knees or he’ll grab your foot! Attack! Attack! Attack! Crowd him so he can’t hit you well, & weak points are vulnerable! Smash with your head, if you somehow miss. When his head goes back, crush his ***** or throat hard. Scream, "Fire! Fire!" and doors will open! "Police!" only, people hide! Yell “Call 911 Call 911!” and sirens will make him run! If you have to stab him, say you thought he had a weapon or he’ll say you attacked him, & you go to jail! Rely on yourself in emergencies! Be sure and call 911 first! 2nd caller goes to jail! Police will not listen to the 2nd caller! Date safety: Meet your date at the place you’re going. Don’t allow isolation or let him drive or he could take you somewhere to **** you. Practice hard until instinctive or this won’t work! If you have been ***** the only thing that will work is a gun but saying, “I have a gun!” has always worked for me.

Tasers work against most but are only 60% effective against drunks & druggies.

If you see a stalker don't go home! They are seeking your house so the can break in when you’re gone and ambush you. 50% ***** at home. “I'll go with you to protect you" a ****** lie! To train for powerful self-defense hang a short chain with a 35-pound punching bag from a beam in the garage. Strong rubber holds it to a wheel and tire resting on the ground. Use leather gloves on your hands and for power put weight behind punches to hit the bag and make it swing away. Block punches with your arm bent like a shield and practice with a partner with boxing gloves & protective gear to make you both strong.  

Search self-defense videos for excellent demonstrations.

©Doug Miura May be copied for private use and not for publication.
Self-defense Training
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