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Amanda Mar 2018
I wish I wasn't still in love
With the person I believed you were
I wish I remembered our time
Clearly instead of merged into a blur

I wish I could happen upon
A picture of us without feeling sick
I wish I was able to outrun
My pain, I tried, but it's too quick

I wish I was capable of
Saying your name without tears leaking out
I wish I had some control over
The honest chaotic words I spout

I wish I was better at apologies
I am sorry for causing you pain
I wish I was worse at forgiveness
My trust is too easy to regain

I wish I didn't miss your touch
And the way you hugged me
I wish I was able to talk
About us without saying "we"

I wish I was able to forget
How your face looks when your heart is sore
I wish I could listen to our song
And not crumble to bits on the floor

I wish I would have deleted your texts
So I would not reread them all day
I wish I had a magic wand
To turn our skies blue instead of grey

I wish I didn't fake a smile
In every picture I post
I wish I was brave enough
To exorcise your stubborn ghost

I wish I could escape the ropes
Of silence wrapped around my heart
I wish I wouldn't of bared my
Whole soul when you shared only a part

I wish I didn't see your image
In my mind each time I close my eyes
I wish I could forget the feeling
Of your fingertips dancing on my thighs

I wish I dreamed of something else
Besides your smile every night
I wish I could bury my hurt
Deep below the surface; out of sight

I wish I was an important enough
reason for you to change
I wish I could spin you like a
Rubiks Cube until you rearrange

I wish I had an easier time
Dragging this body out of bed every day
I wish I didn't want to hide
Under covers and waste away

I wish I could make the sun shine
And light up my life once more
I wish I wasn't too delicate
To speak openly like before

I wish I still felt beautiful
The way I did when you stared at me
I wish I would have stopped handing you chances
After number 93

I wish I possessed the strength
To push myself off my knees
I wish I had the perfect plan
To save you from your deserved disease

I wish I lived in the present
Instead I am always stuck in the past
I wish I could slow down time
I'm powerless; it flies by too fast

I wish I could leave you behind
Move on, let go of this sunken ship
I wish I didn't let you drive
Each time we went on a guilt trip

I wish I could predict the future
What our outcome will be
I wish I had the ability
To write the ending to this story

I wish I lived somewhere new
So I wouldn't see your mom around
I wish I could ask how you are
And look anywhere else but the ground

I wish I could put my heart
Back together in one piece
I wish I was strong enough
To force these wants and needs to cease

I wish I hated you for putting
Me through all seven layers of Hell
I wish I didn't miss your kiss
The heaven I once thought I knew so well

I wish I was a heartless corpse
Incapable of love or emotion
I wish I would have my breath taken
Sorrows are waves and I drown in this ocean
The ending doesn't feel right but it was getting long
Kai Dec 2018
We're so used to violence in our schools and on the streets
that when we go home and see it it's in the back seat.

Witnessing a crime against family,
it's like we have lost our own humanity.

The plague in our minds.
Minds, mindset with no direction.

No distractions

So we take to the bottle
with nothing but empty sorrow.

We drowned in them,
overfilled with liquid hate
and pushed down by the sorrow we saw
and felt in every corner of our lives.

We drank till we thought no more...
Thoughts, Experiences, and Witnesses. I saw violence again today, in school and outside. Why can't we do more? It is me and you who have to put a stop to it. A new generation rises up, don't burden them with today's problems.
Emilia B May 7
Inhaling my sorrows and secrets
My lack of will to live
To love and cry

Falling apart
I feel it in my heart

When do I get to exhale
Nida Mahmoed Jan 2018
Women are Human,
When you utterly feel
the power of this one line,
World will automatically turns so divine!

By; Nida Mahmoed
Ijla Mar 2018
Surrounded by darkness
I was all alone
Feeding on my fears
The demons roamed free
Minutes felt like hours
Or time stopped altogether
Consumed by my mind
I gave up on my life
Said my Silent goodbyes
and stood right on the edge
Though I wished someone would notice
And help me get through
But none came forward
So I finally let go
That's when light pierced through
In the form of a new friend
Saving me from the endless torture
And the decision that I would regret
You walked me through the pain
And helped me dance through the rain
So in the dead of the night
I'm writing this for you
To remind you of
What you mean to me in life
Because bestie you are
A ray of light in the darkness I sit in
I wrote this for my bestfriend. she came into my life when i had given up on ever being okay. she showed me that I mattered and that I was more than the hurdles I was facing. she taught me that I'm stronger than both depression and anxiety. She continiously reminds me that there is so many awesome things awaiting me in the future.
ps.. she is the one who pushed me to write and share poetry. For that I'll forever be thankful to her.
Amanda Dec 2018
Thoughts are eating me alive
I feel sharp bites as they gnaw
Bleeding out pints of sense and reason
From conclusions I draw

I am glad to drift to sleep every night
Even with precious time flying by
Happy to experience any relief
No problems behind closed eyes

Conversations filling free dreams floating within
Attempting to be understood
Have no interest in indulging opinions
Hanging silent in my head, engraved in 'would'

In efforts to turn around my thinking
I stuff my mind with different distractions
Put hands to use with various tasks
Only substances bring satisfaction

I need to unearth the causes
Responsible for lack of peace
Little by little learn to be happy
Sorrows burning my brain will cease
Thoughts can cause more damage than anything else
helenbreeden Jun 2018
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
What if i can’t pick myself up enough to pick up what's remaining?
I can’t forget you.
You were the reason i shattered like glass all over the **** floor.
Your smile crushed my heart.
Your laugh killed me instantly.

I spectated while you played the game with my heart.
I never owned it,
You did and held it in your unwelcoming hands,
Crushing it with all your might.
You left me lying there beaten up crying and breaking.
I collapsed in your arms but you threw me down.

You threw me away,
Almost as easily as someone throwing a piece of trash in the trash can.
Your words struck my already broken heart.
Why i came back i may never know.
I just laid there not knowing how to breathe because i gave you my lungs.
I ached for you.

I ached for the way you smiled at me after you beat me,
Or the way you said you loved me while you were crushing my heart.
You cut off all communication to the ones i loved,
And when i came close to closing the door a new one opened up.
I don’t know how you did it,
But you lowered my chance of survival from this hell called loved.

Did you even love me at all?
Or was it the thought of having something you could control.
Did you think it was that easy to escape the way you treated me.
Or was it the possibility of me loving another soul to much to bare?
Not much i knew,
But i knew you never loved me yet,
I stayed for you.

I called your name,
I called you the way you taught me.
I couldn’t fall asleep without you beating me senseless.
Sadly this is not just physically,
But it was much more than physically.
It was every ******* thing possible.
You were the devil himself.
You left and never came back.
I was afraid of escaping.
I pulled together and push myself through the door.
I was finally hopeful.
Dark Fjord Nov 2018
priestess so quite young enter sanctuary
her eye deep-set, tragic, and restless,
her hair a dark untamable torrent,
falling round her shoulders
a crown yet to be bestowed
to bid children yet to be born and begin.
Poetic T Jan 9
I thought you where a mirage,

            fleeting between my moments
                                          of exhaustion.  

But then I realised that dreams
                              can be a reality,

and you were here next to me.

My oasis, quenching me
                    in my times of doubt.
{i remember}

She comes to presence
in a great wave of grief
that has no bottom.

{water cannot swim}

Feeling the unbearable
weight of womanhood
tearing me open,
revealing my own sorrows.

{a channel of life}*

To be a gate of love and blood,
the flesh of desire,
bearer of all burdens,

was so traumatic I was reborn
in the body of a man.
L B Jun 2018
Later at the same address
A storm of words reaches flood stage
A couch is bobbing in the currents
towards its mangled ruin-nexus
of matchsticks in cyclonic flow
among the renegade
from the limbs like tinsel

chair heaved through her door
Like the river
I am not above my rage
at this stage
of more than enough....
Clever daughter's got my goat
Turns my words on dimes
Lays into me
her score of blame
Each blow to drop me further

presses all my buttons at one time
despite the flashing
Warning! Warning!

“Fine! Fine!”

She blows-out through the afternoon
right past me
in a torrent of curses
A stubborn perfect storm
of words
has taken out parental dam
and blown out toward the Bay of Freedom
to the sorrows of her day

The river may crack its whip
But its got nothing on her

nothing is left standing
in her way
Regan Oct 2018
it’s painful,
extremely torturing,
that the ocean,
is 657.7 miles away.

the only place
that fills me
with such honest joy
is the beach.

it’s spiritual,
being in a gorgeous place,
filled with hot sand
and cold water.

instead of being
in the most wonderful place,
i’m here,
stuck in my room.

my room,
even if it’s just kentucky,
is filled with nautical

it all just reminds me
where i’d rather be.
i’ve surrounded myself
with the ocean.


god i miss the ocean
Oasis Apr 5
After a long while I believe you are here
After the dawn of the sun

I still feel the passage of your little light within
After the rain drenched me off your thoughts

I still have a strong vibe of you
The night they said you left

I still caught the tap of your palms behind me
Though it was in deep dark

But I know you for that prank
When they all believe you aren't here

I bear the strong thing within
You are not far from where I am

Yes I miss you
I miss you every bit

Day to day
Night after night

I still cry to see you once more
You left within saying a bye

I am still outside the cold
Waiting for you to come

Heed quickly to my calls
Run beyond the stale of time

Let me whisper after this long dream
That I know you are here.

Joel Jan 29
I forget how it was
The heavy wind never stays
Broken halos of pain and sorrows
The only memory is almost gone
If I ever forget your soul
Ill go to the endless place.
Bliss Jan 5
Your face bring permanence
to the colours of spring.
You make my fate to
bow down to me.
If i have your sorrows, those
of the universe mean nothing to me.
Your love make my days and nights
look like wooven in silk and brocade.
You are my alma-mater of love
who teach me the purity of love.
You doesn't make my heart to skip a beat
infact you add more to them.
Your face give me tranquillity
in this hubbub world...
Hey, You are my infinite sky..
Jack Jenkins Sep 2018
It cannot be described
only imbibed
through many sorrows
and sorries
until the pain
recedes to numbness
your compass
points to death
& you see the peace it brings
the silence
the darkness
you make your mind up
maybe not today
or tomorrow
but you know
you're going to die by your own hand
& you feel
just a brief


that's the sound of suicide
//On anxiety, suicide, and darkness//
Not in a good headspace right now. Thank you for your concerns, I just needed to vent this.
The Rogue Poet Nov 2013
Its a brand new day,
I awake to my mind in clutter,
Same routine, different day,
I shower my sorrows in cold water,
As I step out, I carry on with my daily mask society has given to me,
Argueing to myself saying what I do isn't right,
But, clearly nothing in life is given to you,
So I serve relentlessly, not thinking at all about the consequences,
As I see new faces and meet new people I say,
"Hello, nice to meet you, I AM your local street pharmacist."

Cassia Aug 2018
"Come hear!" they cry thru the shadowed veil
"Don't you hear the blackbirds song?
Do not weep for the grievings of her heart
For it is you that is dead and gone..."

"It's me indeed!" cried the poor wand'rer
"For behold I meet death at last
My heart beats fast like the fallen bird's wings
Filled with sorrows for my lonesome past..."

"No, No!" cried the blacksmith's wife in vain
"Your heart should not grieve for your colorful days!
I n're leave home and I work till I bleed
I am caged and shall die a slave..."

"Your tunes are absurd to my disciplined ear,"
The businessman spat in the stranger's path
"You can scarce imagine my crimes toward man
I am ****** to Hell for my horrid acts..."

"My songs have begun to fade out of key!
My spirit has died," the performer mourned
"I sing alone with another's words
The crowd sees beauty, but it's pain they scorn..."

Now do you hear it? My song that I sing?
Now that you've reveled on a darkness within
Sing no longer for me the tune that I give
For the caged bird that I am, I see all of your sins.
I tried a new style. Sorry, I can't explain it or make it more complicated than it is.
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