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Jeff Gaines Feb 2019
And now, their desperation and panic sink to an all-new low. They actually begin an attack on my sexuality, my familial relations and even my ability to have an ****** ...

  An ******?

  When you stop laughing, take into consideration that they are also regressing throughout all of this because this dysfunction that they suffer from is deeply rooted in their youth. Thus all the silly name calling and accusations that they could not possibly be able to know or prove and yet they state them as fact, like a child. I.E: A child calling out: "Your mama is a *****". Now those words come flying out from a frightened child when they really have no idea whatsoever about this target's mother. It is just an attempt to hurt. Nothing more.

But in this next bit, you can really see this desperation and panicked choice of subjects to try and use "against me", as-it-were. They don't know what else to do. Their ego is on autopilot, telling their fingers what to type ... and their ego is regressing back to childhood. Thus the childish subject matter.


(Name Deleted) Jeff the TROLL..
Has never and will never reach ****** ****** with either female or male partners.

Has never had a stable and fulfilling love life.
Will NOT and can NOT never ever love anyone UNCONDITIONALLY.
Has never been loved UNCONDITIONALLY by anyone male or female.
Has always been consumed unto bitter and fierce hatred of anyone who has!!.
A deep and bitter jealousy leading to violent hatred consume this TROLL.
Get back under your bridge Jeff.
Any replies from you in future will be deleted unread-even your long overdue apology.
AUM

 0 
 1 reply 
15h

Jeff Gaines  SOOOO MUCH FUN!

Ok, (Name Deleted) ... THAT was your most humorous YET!

Your actions are truly textbook of a person with your deep psychological issues. So ... if you will not read any more of my responses to YOUR trolling, then I needn't worry about you then sending a new volley to this one ... Hum? Good, I'm glad. This is truly getting boring. It's not too challenging to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person ... and a predictable one as well.

Sadly, we both know that your silly, over-inflated ego will NEVER allow you to NOT read something written about you. And you not responding would be a cover for your pathetic attempt to have the last word. (Again, we both know THAT won't happen)

Funnier still, you call me a troll, then go to one of my pieces and begin yet another troll campaign on the same day that you claim to not read any more of my responses.

So, you are trying to say ... "I will continue to troll/bully you, but I will read none of your responses, so I win". (hands on your hips, stomping your tiny foot on the floor, no doubt)

You say you are married? I pity this person ... your behavior is that of a post-pubescent, angry little boy with serious ego and self-esteem issues. Her life must be a living hell, as I would bet money that you are an overbearing control freak with an intense king-baby syndrome to boot. Of course, I could be completely wrong and it is SHE who wears the pants in your household and THAT is why you must come here to find some sense of "control" in your world. But that is all conjecture that I do not wish to even BEGIN to address.

Your need to appear like some type of "guru" or all-knowing person who is better than everyone else is deeply seated, so I think it started very early in your life.

As I've said ... 'TEXTBOOK".

So textbook in fact, that I have decided to make this entire exchange into a piece about trolls/bullies and bullying. But don't worry about that ... I will leave it up long enough for you to read it, leave one of your hysterical troll responses to further prove my observations ... and I will have had the last word.

Then, predictably, you will write something about me on your page, then block me so that I can't respond (thus making your poor, decimated ego feel like it had the last word), which will not only further prove my observations about you, but it will lead folks over to my page to read my piece about you.

It'll be fun!

Now, on to your latest huffing and puffing:

"troll"

Once again, you accuse me of something that YOU are guilty of.

Once again, you are crying about me doing something that YOU did first. (I can't stop laughing about this. Just like a bully to cry and whine when he himself is punched in the nose and doesn't receive the response that he is seeking when HE does the punching!)

*** - Kettle/Gander - Goose, little man.

I am only guilty of responding to your trolling ... which is my right. Because, as is well established, you began this little soiree when you called me an "Unreconstructed alcoholic with no personal sense of shame" in a comment about a piece I had written about a friend that had recently died! Sadly pathetic, indeed.

Then, as I've stood up to you, you have spiraled down, like a burning airplane, in your pathetic child-like name calling and such to the point where you did schoolyard (at best) name-calling ("Electronic ****"? I LOVED THAT ONE!) and attacked my race, my religion and political stances (I picture you, a terrified little schoolboy, trembling in a schoolyard, shouting these things as you wee your pants in fear).

Then. you actually threaten me with physical violence (punching me in the nose). Now ... when NONE of that ridiculous posturing and panic-stricken chest-beating has worked, you take a jab at my sexuality and interpersonal relationships?

You are the one with "No personal sense of shame" here. You are publicly getting more and more pathetic and your ego won't even let you see that! Your imaginary pedestal is way too high, (Name Deleted). The fall from there is really going to hurt you.

Attacking my sexuality, love life and relationships?

Really?

There are few straws left for you to grasp at, huh?

Again, having never met me, something you couldn't POSSIBLY make accurate conjectures about. ANYONE reading this would laugh, knowing where this is truly coming from.

My FAVORITE was the bit about me never achieving an ******! It took me SEVERAL minutes to stop laughing about that one.

How old are you (Name Deleted)? 12 ... 13, maybe?

No matter your actual birth age, these silly claims and insinuations are definitely NOT those of a grown-aged man. They are straight out of the playbook of an early teen. To make such an unfounded accusation is nearly disturbing on SO many levels.

Wow ... just ... "WOW".

You spew them from your imaginary ivory tower, the one that makes you believe that you are above everyone else, so they MUST be facts, right?

And in true (Name Deleted) form, you state them like facts to the public.

A public that can readily see that it is all coming from a wee little man, standing on an imaginary pedestal trying to convince the world that he is a "somebody". You should have taken my earlier advice and just closed your mouth. But it is all too late.

Deep nasal breaths (Name Deleted) ... DEEP nasal breaths.

I've no need to respond to this silly notion with tales of my ****** bravado or adventures, nor my past love life. That is none of your business and a true gentleman NEVER kisses and tells.

Besides, THAT is the action of schoolboys and men who are lacking in the "endowment" department ... as is attacking OTHER men about these issues.

I won't bring my family into this either. (Taking shots at my familial relationships (Name Deleted)? Hmmm, I wonder if this a Freudian confession of your own family issues. But I won't go there. It's a can of worms best left on the shelf, I should think. It does pose some possible explanations for your behavior and persona though, doesn't it?)

So ... I hope you stick to your word and "not read/delete" this so that I needn't respond again. But, (long sigh) I highly doubt that you will. Your life AND your behavior are CONTROLLED by your fully delusional ego.

Watch for my upcoming piece, which will feature this exchange for ALL of the world to see. It will be cut and pasted verbatim, and I will even add a few additional notes.

I'm going to use it to help educate others on how to recognize and handle egotistical, cowardly, wanna-be bullies such as yourself.

Please, allow me to at least thank you for writing all these responses and demonstrating in such a textbook fashion, how your type acts and reacts and even letting us see inside of you a bit, thus letting us see what makes you tick.

And most importantly ... THANKS for the laughs.



This last one is where we can see the bottom of their barrel. As predicted, they can NOT “not read/erase” something that is written about them. Their ego would NEVER allow this. They MUST read and respond because THEY must have the last word. So, we are back to schoolyard names like “**** wipe”, attacking my sexuality and chest beating by attempting to assert that I have somehow “FAILED”. (You see? They HAVE to win, so it is easier to just let them think that they did.) After this, they can only lash out with slurs against my Mother and such. I think I've made my point here.

And now you, dear Reader, will have seen nearly the complete downward spiral of a bully/hater/troll when you stand up to them. I thank them for their 'help” in making this new piece and then show that I am the better man and offer to let them have the last word. I've no idea what that will be, but if you would like to see it, just go to the piece titled “Message To A Friend” (Link in notes below), it will be there soon enough. Their desperation to be dominant is so readily apparent here, it is sad. As I said, they can't help it. Their ego is on autopilot because these issues are so deeply ingrained in their self.



(Name Deleted) To Jeff the TROLLISH LOSER.
WOW so many words just to prove you are a piece of white liberal **** wipe.
You must really hate life with your filthy mouth spewing out
non stop TROLL NONSENSE--as if its a Fight or a Battle to be fought with any stranger just to prove you are a MAN!!!.
WELL JEFF YOUVE FAILED.
YOU are not a MAN but you do have a Male Body.
Never will be a Man.
Always a sexless TROLL.
.
 0 
 1 reply 
13h

Jeff Gaines Well, (Name Deleted), I want to sincerely thank you for all of this. You don't realize it now, but you have helped me to compose something that will, in turn, help other people. It is very admirable. I/we have taken something awful and made it into something positive.

Balance in the universe doesn't get any better than that. Besides, from here, there's not much left but you making verbal attacks on my Mother and such. Even I won't let you reduce yourself to that.

I wish you well. I hope all of your dreams and wishes come true, and moreover, I hope you get the help you need to finally find peace. A peace that will let you stop trying to belittle others with your condescension and bullying demeanor. I truly hope that you can release the tortures that keep you with this agonizing persona. It must be horrible for you.

And again, THANK YOU!

Leave any message you wish after this so that you can sleep well, knowing that you had the last word. I know how important that is to you and your ego, so have it ... as a gift from me to you in appreciation for all of your help here. I promise ... I won't respond. It's all you, Dude. My job is done here.



This one, sent to me on a completely different page/post, involves the “truce”. They did this on the comment section of another piece called “I'm Sorry If You Miss Me” (Link in notes below). They couldn't do this where we had been in our volley, that might appear as a weakness to someone who'd been watching it all.

They offer an olive branch (for all that's worth), but with it, they also offer to take me to enlightenment and save me somehow. None of this is sincere in ANY way. It is once again, them, trying to condescend to me that I am in need of THEIR help. That I am less, and they are more. Just as I described in the beginning of Part I.

(Also note that upon realizing that this has all been an analyzation of them and their behavior, they attempt to spin it around that it is THEM analyzing ME. Once again, textbook predictability)

If for some silly reason, I took this “truce”, they would feel that they have dominated me and nothing would change. As you read it, you will see just what I mean, especially in the way they go on and on about how accomplished they are at 'helping” others and how they can lead me to some new and better existence, as I am such a “sick human being”. The megalomaniac is really showing through here:



(Name Deleted) Dearest TROLL,
TRUCE?

Though you so obviously write vicious TROLL Gibberish you so obviously cant spell the word gibberish correctly.Not very Self referential eh?.
Diminishes your projected self mage of being a 'nice guy' somewhat eh?.
I have analysed your crippling problem and can offer you the only way out of it.
The presence of an individual Mind superimposed in strategic command over all your brain centres in the last hour before birth has led to you being NON Self Realised(which is your problem basically).
You don't know your Cosmic Identity--and the Mind in your head has led you to believe that you are not the Individual Isness but are the Mind created operating device the Conditioned Identity.
This replaces the ID and takes control over the Glucose and Oxygen supply to all Brain centres from the Individual Isness.
Send me a Poste Restante address and I will send you(for FREE)a copy of my only CD--on which I play Alto Saxophone and Alto Clarinet andAmplified C Silver Concert Flute and my wife who is my life companion plays Electric Bass.
We use the name Maneesha which is Sanskrit for Beyond Enlightenment.
The CD which is called 'Rolling Home' is as recorded--every track in one take-no electronic messing around!.
It was recorded under strict Tibetan Tantric rules of performance--I was a Flute playing Pujari in a Temple on the Burning Ghat in Varanasi where I played for Hindu Cremations for 6 years in the 1970s.
The intention is that the listener--you--will become Mindless .According to the sacred texts of the Vedas one must become Mindless as that is the only openly accepted way to reach the final end of Yoga Meditation.
Temporary union with the Isness of the Unverse.
Yes I know you will go off into paroxysms of laughter at my very absurdwritings but I must offer as you are a very sick human being--and your TROLLISH sickness will only get much worser as you age.
I have offered.
You will ridicule me.
Your choice.



And there you have it, dear Reader. A (disturbing) look, into a very disturbed mind. I am not, nor would I ever condone or recommend doing what I have done here. I did this for you. I had the idea while reading one of their demeaning comments on someone's daily. So, when they came to my daily … I put my hook in the water. The best thing you can do is give no reaction. Soon enough, they will go off in search of the attention they so desperately need and leave you in peace. As I have shown you here, engaging them brings a never-ending string of buckets … buckets FILLED with waste-of-time.

All you need to do is keep in mind this one simple thing when they write horrible things in your comment sections, or you encounter one in your life …

Something you are doing, or have done, is SO amazingly awesome, that it brought out ALL that darkness in them!

Just ignore them and they will go find someone else to pick on. Give them an “LOL” and ignore all that follows, or just delete their comment and block them. Your time is limited and so very precious. Don't give one second of it to these types of people. It simply isn't worth it.

Besides … You have MORE amazing things to accomplish!

                   Big Love,
                           ~Jeff
Big Virge Oct 2014
EVERYDAY ... In this country ....
They're telling us ... LIES ... !!!!!
from Thatcher ... to ... Blair ....
To ... "Good Old" ... "HESELTINE" .....
  
So let me explain ....
why i've put this in rhyme ....
  
The army's had ... SECRETS ...
THEY ... "DON'T" ... talk about ... !!!
  
So read these words ... CLOSELY ... !!!
cos' now ... it's come ... " OUT " ... !!!
  
Policies on recruitment ....
were .... "STRICTLY" .... Defined ....
Black soldiers ... WEREN'T ... Welcome ... !!!!!
on ... "WHITE" .... Army Lines ...
  
They say it's been happening ...
Since .... NINETEEN FIFTY-SEVEN !!!!!
  
But somehow ... i'm thinking ...
it's been ... "ALL THE TIME" ....
  
This to me though ... is ... COOL ... !!!
and is ... NO SURPRISE ... !!!!!
it's just .... POSITIVE PROOF ....
of the ... LIES ... they've disguised ... !!!!!
  
as a youthful ... PROUD BLACK ... !!!!!
I REMEMBER ..... THE HATRED ..... !!!
and .... Racial Attacks .... !!!
  
There was ... "NEVER" ... ANY BLACK
in the ... UNION JACK ... !!!!!
These ... UNCLE TOM ... Blacks ....
Should ... "REMEMBER" ... THAT ... !!!!
  
They like to suggest ....
Black people are ... "*****" ... !!!
  
Well, YES ... that is ... TRUE ...
  
"SOME" ... Black people ... ARE ... !!!
  
But it's ... WHITE GIRLS ... I see ....
who like ... "****" ...
Up Their ... **** ... !!!!!!
  
So ...........
for them .... to say ....
English people ... have ... " CLASS " ... !?!?!
is just ... "ONE MORE LIE" ....
and is truly .... A .... FARCE !!!!!!
  
Now this thing with ... "Armed Forces"
NOT wanting ... "us ... BLACKS" ... !!!!!
is ... "Cool with me !!!" ... but ... !!!???!!!
when ... MUSLIMS ... " ATTACK " ....
  
They'd better believe .....
They should ... COVER ...
Their Backs ... !!!!!
  
Cos' ... THE TRUTH ... is out now ...
and this ... I DO ... BACK ... !!!!
  
The Army ... SHOULD ...
...... " ETHNICALLY " ......
Cleanse OUT ... The Blacks .... !!!!!!!!!!
  
Oh they'll be ... ALRIGHT ... !!!
when their army's ... ALL WHITE ... !!!
  
So to those who hate ... ******* ...
have a read of ... The Words ...
in the ... FOLLOWING ... Verse ...
  
Go fight your own fights ... !!!!!
cos' Black people have died ....
"PROTECTING" ... YOU Whites ... !!!!!
  
who suggest that ... us ... BLACKS ....
Shouldn't have ... Civil Rights ... !!!!!!!
  
My feeling is that .....
STEPHEN LAWRENCE ... Is ... ONE ....
whose family ... "SUFFERED" ...
from an ... English Law ... CON ... !!!
  
Film footage did show ....
Those White .... HOOLIGANS .... !!!!!!
were ... READY ... to ... **** ... !!!
Any Black ... and just ... Run ...!!!...
  
But when court time came ....
They were given ... FREEDOM ... !???!
  
Well ....
To Stephen's ... DAD ...
and to ... Stephen's ... MUM ...
  
I'm writing this verse ....
cos' the way it was ... Handled ...
was ... "TOTALLY" ... " WRONG " ... !!!!!!
  
See .... The BBC showed ....
How .... Police Training ... goes !!!
  
That ... " Racists " ... get recruited ... !!!
and ... "WELCOMED" ... to the ... FOLD ... !!!!!
  
But People ... Only Know ...
cos' the ... "HIDDEN CAM" ... Showed ...
that .... RACISM'S .... hidden ....
like ... "COVETED" ... Gold ....
and that's when ... THE RACISTS ...
be acting .... ALL BOLD .... !!!!!
  
But catch them ....
on ... Their Own ...
when their ... "BNP Buddies" ...
are sitting ... AT HOME ... !!!
  
In Black Company ....
They're in ... " THE DEADZONE " ... !!!!!
  
They Quickly ... Transform ...
into .... " ALI G ... mode " .... !!!
  
"I've got LOADS of Black friends ...
so ... what's happening bro !!!???!!!"
  
Meantime we are told ....
"EQUALITY" ..... is in sight .... !!!
  
Now I ... DON'T LIKE ... using
"EXPLETIVES" .... when I write ... !!! ...
But ... i've got to say ... THIS ...
  
"That ain't ... ******* RIGHT ... !!!!!"
  
So ...  i'm fighting ...
...... RACISM ......
These Days ......
when I ... WRITE ...
  
while Police just ... DELIGHT ...
in ... beating Black Folks ....
til they're .............
  
"BLACKER than ....
  
NIGHT" .... !!!!!
  
Can this really be right ... !!!?!!!
  
These ... RACIST ... whites .... ARE ....
  
OHhhhhhh ...... Soooo ..... POLITE ... !!!
  
But ...
Don't want to ... "INVITE" ...
A time or place ....
where ... BLACK and WHITE ...
Can ... Try to... "UNITE" ......
  
But .... it's okay now ....
cos' Blacks be acting like ... Whites ....
now they're in the ... " LIMELIGHT " ...
  
Every ******* ... is ... "BLINGING" ....
with ... Custom Made ... Jewellery ...
  
"Correction" ..... ofcourse ....
that line should say .... "ICE" ....
  
See ... we ... DON'T ... Talk About....
Our .... "HUMAN" .... BLACK LICE ... !?!?!?!
  
Those ... " KILLING " ... Their Brothers ....
just for a slice ....
.... of ....
  
" Uncle Sam's Pie " ......
  
Well ....
The same rules ... apply ... !!!
  
The U.S. .... just wants them ...
to ... lay down ... and ... DIE ... !!!
  
cos' they ... Like The ... " British " ...
are just ... " FULL OF LIES " .... !!!!!
  
The UK's what ... I know ...
but this ... " LIE " .... Titled Prose ....
just goes to show .....
whether ...  HERE or THERE ....
The same **** ... flows ... !!!!!!!!!
  
From the ... LIES ... that they feed ....
to ... THOSE TRUTHS ... still ...
  
.............  "UNTOLD" ................ ???????
  
But ... NOW ... we've been told ....
  
Will Blacks ... "BREAK THE MOULD ?"
  
Well .... Probably ... NOT ... !!!?!!!
cos' ... most now ... have ... SOLD ...
Their ... TRUE SELVES ... behind ...
  
cos' now ... they're ... refined ...
and are ... STUCK ... in a Bind ...
B'cos' ... what they've ... Believed ...
Now ... leaves them ... " BEHIND " ...
  
THAT ...  Rock and Hard Place ... !!!
with visions ... " MISPLACED " ...
without .... recognizing ....
"NEW PROBLEMS" .... we face ... !!!
  
cos' ... White Moguls ... now know ...
what makes ... "*******" ... Break ... !!!
  
A Nice ..... Fancy Car .....
and .... *** .... on a plate ... !!!!!!
  
So ... YES ... Some DUMB ...
........ " ******* !!!" ..........
have ... Quickly ... got ... A.I.D.S .... !!!!!
  
cos' of ****** ... they've been ...
.......... " Bedding !!! " ..........
by their ... New ... Fireplace ... !!!
whilst telling ..... "LIES" ..... !!!
to their ..... Wives ......
  
Maaaannn .........
That ... ****'s ... A DISGRACE ... !!!!!
  
See ... this is a ... Trait ...
that now makes me ... Irate ... !!!!!
  
Some White Girls be .... "ACTING" ...
like .... "Black men are ... GREAT" ... !!!
  
But .......
"CANNOT" ..... take them ....
back to .... "Daddy's Place" ... !!!?!!!
cos' ... The Truth ...
then comes ... OUT ... !!!
  
They'd get a ... SLAP ... !!!
in their ..... FACE ..... !!!!!!!!!
  
B'cos daddy's ... Not Happy ... !!!!!
with the thought of his daughter ...
as a lamb to ... "BLACK SLAUGHTER" ....
  
cos' ... sounds that she's making ....
  
Sounds like *** ...
is ... " Pure TORTURE !!!!! "
  
and that's when his ...
  
"Lies and Untruths"
get ........ "Found Out"  ... !!!
cos' now her ... Black Boyfriend ....
gets treated like ... "GOUT" ... !!!
  
See ... These ... are the ... "LIES" ...
We ... "DON'T" ... talk about ... !!!
  
But ... This is ... "THE TRUTH" ....
  
coming out of ... My Mouth ...
or ... if you're a ... Reader ...
Yes .... Out of ... MY HANDS ...
  
Just think about this ......
and you'll ..... "OVERSTAND" ... !!!
that ... LYING .... comes easy ... to ...
..... "TRUE" ..... Englishman ... !!!
  
But .... LYING .....
...... to me .....
I now ... "OVERSTAND" ... !!!
  
It's fed ... YES ... to ... Man ...
and ... YES ... to ... Woman ...
  
to keep us from being ....
  
" UNITED " .....
  
..... as ......
  
" PEOPLE " .....
  
These things ...
  
" I BELIEVE ! " ....
  
have always been ...
  
" PLANNED "
  
cos' if people .... "UNITE" ....
The Divisions .... would ....
  
............. " DIE " .................
  
and then ...
People Like ..... "YOU" ......
and ... People Like ... " I " ...
  
could ... finally see ...
  
"THE TRUTH" ....
  
From the ...
  
.... " LIES " ....
  
Peace y'all and Recognise !!!!!
Seems like the Brits aren't the only ones, but, they do like to tell some whoppers !!!!!
Matt Nov 2014
biblondesubgal: hey miss
queenkendraxx: happy turkey day
queenkendraxx: Is it you and your mistress?
biblondesubgal: yes maam it is
queenkendraxx: what are your names?
biblondesubgal: shes kellie im allan
queenkendraxx: She is 25, you are 20?
biblondesubgal: its reversed
queenkendraxx: Do you always swallow the black stud's ***?
queenkendraxx: Lol tell her she should put it in your food so you can have a daily dose Allan
queenkendraxx: Do you have a ***** name Allan
biblondesubgal: allyssa
queenkendraxx: Ask her what she thinks of Allison
queenkendraxx: Allyssa the bbc *****
queenkendraxx: huh?
biblondesubgal: she said she likes allison too
queenkendraxx: tell her she rocks
queenkendraxx: you are her ******* property, huh?
biblondesubgal: yes miss i am her property
queenkendraxx: I do yoga and pilates to keep my body in tip top shape
queenkendraxx: DO you two have pics?
biblondesubgal: no sry
queenkendraxx: mmkay don't wanna share or just don't have?
biblondesubgal: dont like to share
queenkendraxx: that is cool what does Kellie look like?
queenkendraxx: Well I would delete it
queenkendraxx: but I understand
biblondesubgal: blonde blue eyes 5'4ish 36c
biblondesubgal: your first pic was blurry
queenkendraxx: How did you two meet?
biblondesubgal: mutual friend lol
queenkendraxx: was she ooking for a *****?
queenkendraxx: looking
queenkendraxx: What is her black stud's name?
biblondesubgal: not that i was aware of. she didnt get aggressive until like a month after we were dating
biblondesubgal: daquan
queenkendraxx: hehe I will show you
queenkendraxx: pics of my previous and some of my past blac studs
queenkendraxx: How big is Daquan's ****?
biblondesubgal: 8.5 in pretty thick too
queenkendraxx: big heavy *****?
queenkendraxx: mmm
biblondesubgal: oh yes so heavy and full
queenkendraxx: lol ask her if you have a ***** ****
biblondesubgal: she said yes its so cute his little ***** ******
queenkendraxx: ow big
queenkendraxx: how big 5 in?
biblondesubgal: im 5.5 in
queenkendraxx: aww not bad
queenkendraxx: for a *****
biblondesubgal: thank you miss
queenkendraxx: can I talk to Kellie for a while?
biblondesubgal: sure can i watch yall type?
queenkendraxx: yes *****
biblondesubgal: hey hunny
queenkendraxx: Hey Kellie
queenkendraxx: I love your *****, so obedient-- I have one too
queenkendraxx: His name was Matt but I call him Maddeline
biblondesubgal: yeah? was he hard to break?
queenkendraxx: at first wanna see the black stud that helped me break him?
biblondesubgal: yes please. i have my ***** watching
biblondesubgal: dayum
queenkendraxx: gorgeous huh?
biblondesubgal: yes wow
queenkendraxx: I have a pic of his **** too hehe
queenkendraxx: Is Dayquan really built?
biblondesubgal: not like that lol he has abs but his arms arent that big
biblondesubgal: did your man *** you?
queenkendraxx: yes, that is Darius a different studof mine
queenkendraxx: He makes Maddeline blow him--- gorgeous **** huh?
biblondesubgal: yes so big allyssa thanked me for not giving him that big
queenkendraxx: hehe does Allyssaswallow all Dayquan's *****?
queenkendraxx: I wish I could see your pic Kellie, I bet you are so pretty
biblondesubgal: if it doesnt go in his *** and even then sometimes he does
queenkendraxx: he is learning to take it
queenkendraxx: deep in his ***?
biblondesubgal: yes hes gotten 8 in in so far another half inch and we will be ready for thicker lol
queenkendraxx: hehe ever took pics of that and showed ur gfs?
queenkendraxx: lol good *****
biblondesubgal: no i havent thought to do that
queenkendraxx: hehe good idea?
biblondesubgal: i might do that next time lol
queenkendraxx: lol that way he will be your property for life
queenkendraxx: lol he tries to leave you -- you can send them to his friends haha
biblondesubgal: oh he is lol i have him in chastityafter our sessions he goes back in
queenkendraxx: hehe he in permanent chastity
queenkendraxx: lol there is a space in those to *** right?
biblondesubgal: pretty  much ill let him free when hes being fuked or *******
biblondesubgal: yes there is
queenkendraxx: nice, his *** must be gettting nice and loose
queenkendraxx: does he cry when he is being ******?
biblondesubgal: lol not as loose as maddies. he cries like a baby  because he doesnt get fuked easy
queenkendraxx: lol u know Maddie is such a bbc ****
queenkendraxx: you know all about my Maddie, huh?  hehe
biblondesubgal: lol with the *** you showed me she cant be tight lol
queenkendraxx: Do you tell your gfs all about Allyssa?
queenkendraxx: I stuff my ******* in Maddeline's mouth as he is being pounded in his ***** ***
biblondesubgal: no lol ive been thinking bout having a ******* party
queenkendraxx: taking pics
queenkendraxx: or a video of him
queenkendraxx: So you are toned and fit like me Kellie?
biblondesubgal: your tummy looks better but im not to far off
queenkendraxx: one of ur gf's ******* her mouth while the other has her ***
queenkendraxx: you have a great body too
queenkendraxx: how tall are you?
biblondesubgal: im 5'4 you?
queenkendraxx: guess from my pic
biblondesubgal: hard to tell without comparrison. 5'6?
queenkendraxx: ya
queenkendraxx: 5 '5 and a haf lol
biblondesubgal: i was close lol
queenkendraxx: Did you have your first bbc in college?
biblondesubgal: highschool
queenkendraxx: mmm yay me 2 I was 18
biblondesubgal: i was a cheerleader so i got and *** i wanted really lol
biblondesubgal: i was 16
queenkendraxx: hehe bad loved to see
queenkendraxx: how the black studs plowed over
queenkendraxx: the pathetic white guys?
biblondesubgal: what? sry that was confusing
queenkendraxx: well when I went to football games
queenkendraxx: I like to see how the black men tackled
queenkendraxx: the sorry white guys
biblondesubgal: lol i fuked a basketball player
queenkendraxx: lol one time Darius hit another white guy so hard he sent him to the hospital  
queenkendraxx: nice in college?
biblondesubgal: in highschool lol but he went to college on a scholarship
queenkendraxx: nice
queenkendraxx: you a freshman now?
queenkendraxx: or sophmore?
biblondesubgal: im a freshman
queenkendraxx: nice what you study
queenkendraxx: Does Allyssa do well and spoil you?
biblondesubgal: business i want to own my own store like vic secret
queenkendraxx: lol I make Maddeline shop there
biblondesubgal: she doesnt make a ton of money shes a secretary
queenkendraxx: lol a secretary for a woman?
biblondesubgal: yes lol
queenkendraxx: does she wear her ***** *******
queenkendraxx: to work?
biblondesubgal: and cute dresses heels hose wigs makeup
queenkendraxx: lol what?
biblondesubgal: and a chastity belt
queenkendraxx: they let her wear that?
queenkendraxx: not to work lol
biblondesubgal: yes lol its not like slutty but cute
queenkendraxx: do all the women laugh
queenkendraxx: tease her?
biblondesubgal: they think shes actually a girl
queenkendraxx: heheh yayy
queenkendraxx: Do you make her kiss Jayquan's ***?
queenkendraxx: Is she on estrogen?   Maybe you could research that
queenkendraxx: She will grow soft *******
biblondesubgal: daquan lol and yes. i started crushing up estrogen and making it in his food (i sent him out for a second)
queenkendraxx: My Maddeline has such useless little *****--- Does Allyssa have a little ***** sack too?
biblondesubgal: yes it sags and small *****
queenkendraxx: (hehe is she gone)
biblondesubgal: yes i dont want her to know im turning her into my real life barbie  doll
queenkendraxx: One day do you plan to have it removed and be there to watch Kellie?
biblondesubgal: idk lol ive thought anbout it im not sure i can do that to him though
queenkendraxx: lol so cruel
queenkendraxx: a simple snip hehe
biblondesubgal: simple that costs a lot of money lol
queenkendraxx: lol maybe down the road
queenkendraxx: lol I know its cruel but
queenkendraxx: their ***** sacks are so useless
biblondesubgal: hehe hes said how sensitive his ******* are
queenkendraxx: I hate how their ***** goo is so clear and watery
biblondesubgal: why you think i need a black man lol
queenkendraxx: lol u have one
queenkendraxx: lol like me
queenkendraxx: not like you ever have *** with him right?
biblondesubgal: any way you can resend that first pic? it came up blurry.
queenkendraxx: ya
biblondesubgal: lol very rarely
queenkendraxx: I just really wish I could see you Kellie
queenkendraxx: ?
biblondesubgal: idk still blurry
queenkendraxx: you can post it on pic paste if you wanted and choose to show it for just thirty mins
queenkendraxx: and it will be gone
queenkendraxx: Mmky I trust you to keep them private
biblondesubgal: i will miss
queenkendraxx: I don't usually send my pics to people
queenkendraxx: this is Kellie?
queenkendraxx: you can just call me Kendra Kellie
biblondesubgal: yes it is ok lol sry im kinda submissive too
queenkendraxx: hmm its ok
queenkendraxx: can you please put your pic
queenkendraxx: on picpaste?
queenkendraxx: You are submissive to women and bi?
biblondesubgal: ill put one on display is that ok?
biblondesubgal: yes
queenkendraxx: sure, lovely
queenkendraxx: cool I love women too
queenkendraxx: The first time Maddeline was ****** in his ***---I spread his cheeks open
queenkendraxx: It was so hot to see all 9 inches buried deep inside my ***** ****---- it got me so wet
biblondesubgal: mmm i love to watch it go in slowly until its burried
biblondesubgal: you see a pic?
queenkendraxx: My Maddeline is here with me on the bed
queenkendraxx: not yet?
queenkendraxx: try again
biblondesubgal: on display
queenkendraxx: we could be like sisters lol
biblondesubgal: lol yeah?
queenkendraxx: we look similar I think
queenkendraxx: you coud model if you wanted
queenkendraxx: My Maddeline is 5.5 too
queenkendraxx: lol ***** ****
biblondesubgal: hehe thank you i wish lol
queenkendraxx: have a pic of your alyssa?
biblondesubgal: sry i dont
queenkendraxx: its cool
queenkendraxx: wanna see maddeline on display?
biblondesubgal: hehe love to
queenkendraxx: what do you think?
biblondesubgal: i dont see
queenkendraxx: it is
queenkendraxx: on my avatar
queenkendraxx: on the convo window, see now?
biblondesubgal: no accept my friend request
queenkendraxx: ur on my buddy list already hmm
queenkendraxx: should I just put it on photo share?
queenkendraxx: DOn't save her pic ok?
biblondesubgal: i wont save it
queenkendraxx: She told me she is sensitive about people seeing her, I know you won't
queenkendraxx: she wants to know what words come to mind  when you see her face
queenkendraxx: if you think she looks femme
biblondesubgal: yes maam
queenkendraxx: ol Kellie
queenkendraxx: you can be a lil submissive
queenkendraxx: it is cute
biblondesubgal: im sorry lol kendra
queenkendraxx: you are impressed by my gorgeous body, huh?
biblondesubgal: i love it
queenkendraxx: I am Miss Perfect hehe
biblondesubgal: hehe well i cant argue that
queenkendraxx: what do you think of the midde one?
biblondesubgal: looks cute you dont have him in a wig nd makeup do you?
queenkendraxx: no he wears anties though
queenkendraxx: think he would look cute in a wig?
biblondesubgal: hehe you should fully dress hi
queenkendraxx: think he looks femme
queenkendraxx: and radiant?
biblondesubgal: i think with some make  up a wig hes be a very pretty girl
queenkendraxx: yes
queenkendraxx: think he has a femme smile?
biblondesubgal: yes maam
biblondesubgal: shyt kendra
queenkendraxx: lol I have a pic of his ***** **** too
biblondesubgal:
queenkendraxx: Do you have others lovers besidses Jayquan?
queenkendraxx: so you love to shop at victorias secret?
queenkendraxx: what do you usually get there?
biblondesubgal: its daquan lol
queenkendraxx: where did kellie go?
biblondesubgal: i dont shop there often to expensive lol
biblondesubgal: i am kellie lol the man is dauan not jayquan
queenkendraxx: ooh I see
queenkendraxx: lol my bad Dauan
queenkendraxx: lol my bad
queenkendraxx: lol u will laugh when you see Maddeline's ****
biblondesubgal: its ok your cute enough to kmake up for it
queenkendraxx: u2 love your smile
biblondesubgal: awe thank you
queenkendraxx: want to make him your cuck hubby one day?
biblondesubgal: i think hes basically there
queenkendraxx: lol nice
queenkendraxx: maddeline goes to a 35 yr old female therapist
queenkendraxx: and she tells her all about feeling inferior to alpha males
queenkendraxx: and wanting to be a woman, lol
biblondesubgal: hehe you did that to her huh
queenkendraxx: yes she cries
queenkendraxx: in front of the therapist
queenkendraxx: wonerful, huh?
biblondesubgal: you want to get her clittlky a real ******
queenkendraxx: hehe well
queenkendraxx: she has thought of having her ***** sack removed
queenkendraxx: she even told the therapist she said
biblondesubgal: hehe you ruined her that makes me wanna kiss you lol
queenkendraxx: heheh I totally own her
queenkendraxx: beautiful, huh?
biblondesubgal: it is so beautiful. allyssa wants to know if ill let her back
queenkendraxx: hmm maybe in a bit
queenkendraxx: wanna see Maddeline's ****?
biblondesubgal: please miss
queenkendraxx: lol 5.5
queenkendraxx: she said she took it with her ipad
biblondesubgal: its so cute
queenkendraxx: that is why there is a weird angle
queenkendraxx: so small, huh?
biblondesubgal: yes well my girls the same size i  think yours is thicker
queenkendraxx: isy bitsyteenie tiny
queenkendraxx: hehehe
biblondesubgal: hehe can i finger?
queenkendraxx: do you do that to her alot?
biblondesubgal: i dont have one yet i have one on order
queenkendraxx: hehe I do
queenkendraxx: a bbc *******?
biblondesubgal: its black like 10in pretty thick
queenkendraxx: I got her an 8 in brown one too that vibrates
queenkendraxx: mmm will **** her so deep
queenkendraxx: yuuummmmmm I have been with him!
biblondesubgal: vibrates? shoot use that on me
biblondesubgal: wow are you loose? lol
queenkendraxx: lol it was a whil ago but
queenkendraxx: mmm love him
queenkendraxx: ehe you look up to me
queenkendraxx: huh kellie?
biblondesubgal: i couldnt even get that in my mouth
queenkendraxx: how much can you *******?
biblondesubgal: 7.5 in
queenkendraxx: oh mi gosh
queenkendraxx: 7 4 me hehe
queenkendraxx: I sometimes make maddeline practice
queenkendraxx: on bananas
biblondesubgal: hehe that guy almost made me puke
queenkendraxx: when she is not practicing on BBC
queenkendraxx: cause Maddeline is so ugly?
biblondesubgal: i make alyssa practice on my ****** after i use them
biblondesubgal: no lol the guy i deepthroated
queenkendraxx: oh
queenkendraxx: hehe I know they *** soooo much
queenkendraxx: I love it soaking my face
queenkendraxx: yummmmm
queenkendraxx: lol I am making Maddeline practie
queenkendraxx: practice
on her banana now
biblondesubgal: hehe hot my ***** is peaking at me through the droor crack
queenkendraxx: lol *****
queenkendraxx: you two have your own place
queenkendraxx: are you at a college dorm
queenkendraxx: or apartment?
biblondesubgal: apartment
queenkendraxx: I should make Maddeline
queenkendraxx: ******* her banana
queenkendraxx: on cam for you, haha
biblondesubgal: oh my gosh id get so wet
queenkendraxx: let me get her, and you can speak to her for a few mins and she can put on a show
queenkendraxx: would you enjoy that Kellie?
biblondesubgal: i would love that miss kendra
queenkendraxx: I am so wet too
queenkendraxx: I have my little rabbit vibe
biblondesubgal: hehe im just using my fingers
queenkendraxx: she is getting the banana one sec she is coming
biblondesubgal: hehe she a good girl for you
queenkendraxx: Hi Miss Kellie
queenkendraxx: This is Maddeline
queenkendraxx: Should I keep writing in this pink?
biblondesubgal: hey girl you dont have to call me miss
biblondesubgal: yes its a good color for you
queenkendraxx: just Kellie or what?
queenkendraxx: I feel like I am being disrespecful
queenkendraxx: I saw your pic and you are so gorgeous
biblondesubgal: you can call me kellie its ok. thanks i wanna eat your girl out
queenkendraxx: yes my Mistress
queenkendraxx: you love BBC
queenkendraxx: like my mistress?
biblondesubgal: yes are yougoing to show me what youve been practicing with your bananna?
queenkendraxx: uhh yes
queenkendraxx: may I touch my ****
queenkendraxx: as I do it?
biblondesubgal: well ask your mistress
queenkendraxx: she said for this show you can decide for me
biblondesubgal: lets not do it right now
bi
Big Virge Nov 2015
Everybody lacks ... something ...
That's a ... Fact ... !!!  
  
So ...
Let me ask you this ... ?
What do ... You Lack ... ?
  
Do you lack ...  
" Common Sense "  
or .... Confidence ... ???
  
or ...  
Do you lack what it takes ... ?
to forsake what you gain ...
from living ... just for money ...
like these ... Corporate Heads ... !!!
  
Well money ...
" Certainly " .... Pays .... !!!
  
But ....
Does not ... " Allay " ...
Unhappy Days ... !!! ...
  
Ask those ... who take ...
"Every Piece" ... of the cake ... !!!
  
If they say ... Their Cash ... !!!
Removes ... Their Pain ...
They're being ... Fake ... !!!
  
Question .... ?
what they say ... ?
  
If they lost their ...
... " Loved Ones ' ...
  
Could their cash ... Replace ... ?
" Loved Ones " ... who'd placed ...
Smiles on ... Their face ... !!! ? !!! ...
  
The answer is ... NO ... !!!
and this ... They Know ... !!!
  
So ...
Do you lack ...  
" Other things " ... ?
that ... make you think ...  
  
" What is The Point !!?!! "
of ... Making Noise ...  
about the way ...
we live ... today ...
  
Well ...  
that's okay ...
it's been ... that way ...
since the ... early days ...
of ... " Shackled Slaves ! " ...
  
Many lack ... the ability ...
to face ... " The Truth " ... !!!
  
Do those ... last words ...
Apply ... to you ... !!?!! ...
  
Well ...  
If they ... DO ... ?!?
  
You're lacking in food ...
You should ... Consume ... !!!
  
These days ...  
I Lack ... " Patience " ...
with those who are ...
..... " Blatant " .....
  
" Ignorant Fools !!! " ...
  
Those I find ...
with ... " Narrow Minds " ...
who choose to ... move ...
in the land ... of the blind ... !!!
  
Those now inclined ...
to ... Ignoring Signs ... ?!?
that .... " Indicate " ....
  
.......... " New " ...........  
" Troubled Times " ... !!! ...
for ... "Our" ...
" Human Kind " ... !!!
  
But ... if we pressed ...  
  
"CLICK" ...........  

Rewind ...  
  
I'm sure we'd find ...
Many Things ... " Replicated " ...
Like ...... " Old Pastimes " ......  
  
Do you lack ...  ?
The Ability ...
to want to ... " Backtrack " ... ?
  
Can I ask you ...  
" Freely " ... ?
  
Why are you ... like that ... ???
  
Afraid of what you'll see ... ??!??
or ... what you'll ... FIND ...
that'll ... EXPOSE ... Lies ...
"Cleverly" ... disGuiSed ...
to keep ... The Truth ...
  
hidden ......
  
..... From .....  
" Enquiring Minds ? " ...
  
  
This seems to be ...
... " Planned " ... !?!
  
to ... Ensure Most ...
..... " Lack " .....  
  
" The Ability " .....
  
to deal with ... FACTS ...  
  
Like .....
Why are women ...
Soooo hard ... to understand ... ???
  
In the very beginning ....
They're ... HARD to ATTRACT ... !!!!!
  
If ....  
You're a man ...
who ... HOLDS ... Your Stance ...
THAT ... You give a **** ...
" About " ... Their Needs ...  
  
while those who ... Lack ...
such ..... " Courtesies " .....  
seem to get ... ***** ...
  
Like .... " Next one please !!! "
  
Girls who ... LACK ...
any ... Common Sense ...
are those ... I don't want ...
inside ..... My Bed ..... !!!!!!!!!!
  
But ....
Hell Yes ... Yeah ...
  
I'll pass through theirs' ... !!!!!
  
Now ....
Hear me out girls ...  
Don't take ... Offence ... !!!!!
  
But ....
Too Many ... of you ...
Pick The  ....
  
"Wrong ****** Men ?!?"  
  
Again and Again .....
Your Case ... CLEARLY ...
Has .... " No Defence " ... !!!!!
  
These days ...
There's a .... LACK ....
of ... " Good ol' ... FUN ... !!!
  
Especially with ...
A ... " Good Woman ! " ...
  
..... " Relationships " .....
seem to end ... So Quick ... !!!
  
Before ... " Love's Able " ...
to get a .... " GRIP !!! " ....
and have a chance to ...
  
........ " Sit " .........
  
at the ... Dinner Table ...
That's ... " REALITY " ...
and is ... " No Fable ! " ...
  
Like .... Cain and Abel ...
  
Things are ... CLEARLY ...
Quite .... " Unstable " .... !!!!!
  
Like ... reception through ...
Those ... " Dodgy Cables ! ' ...
  
No ... MTV ...
or ... Sky TV ...
  
But ...  
Here's the link ...
So take ... THIS IN ... !!!
  
There's now a ... LACK ...
of ..... " RELIABILITY " .....
in how .... People ....
Now Seem ... to be ... !!!!!
  
"I'll call you tonight !"
  
"Cool, that's just fine,
I should be home,
by, half past nine,
don't let me down,
I don't like to be clowned !!!"
  
"Trust me man,
I will ring you !!!"
  
" Haven't heard from  
..... THAT FOOL .....
for a whole week now ...
if he calls me with ...
A Poor excuse ...
My mouth is gonna,
leave him ... Schooled ...
and make him ... frown ...
with the words ... I Choose ... !!! "
  
I just can't stand ....
when people .... LACK ....
  
..... " Reliability " ..... !!!!!!!!!!!
  
or ... is it ... Just Me ... ?!?
  
Asking ... TOO MUCH ... !!!
to hope that .... Some ....
  
"Good Ones" ... are left ... !!!
who are .... " Reliable " ....
from ... Start to End ... !!!
  
and deal in ...  
" Honesty " ...

as well as ...
" Respect " ...
  
People ... You TRULY ..
can call ... Your Friends ... !!!!!
  
Well ....
One thing ... I Don't Lack ... !
is a will to ... " Express " ...
through poetry .... sent ....
to my .... Notepad .... !!! ....
  
So ... now it's time ...
to end ... This Rhyme ...  
  
About ....  
Some Things ....
  
That ... WE ALL ...  
...... " Lack " ...... !!!!!
  
But ....
If you think ....
  
You DON"T ... Lack Anything ... ???  
  
Let me just say this ....
  
You are ... DREAMING ... !!!!!!!!!
  
EVERYONE ...  
Lacks something ....
  
That's just ... FACT ... !!!!!!!
  
So .....
Be HONEST ... with yourself ...
  
What Do ... You ... ?
  
........ Lack ........ ???
We ALL ... Lack something, as the piece says ....Dunno what really inspired this, but, clearly one day, the question entered my mind !
"Hey loverboy," she says. I don't respond.*



A rough draft excerpt from my story, Fictional Truth.



“Hey loverboy,” she says. I don’t respond. I enjoy ignoring her for a moment after I come out of a day dream.

“Hey. Jake. Snap out of it boy. Time to come back to earth,” she says with her usual tone of pleased annoyance. This time I leave the world inside my head and return to reality. Slowly turning my head to the right, I can see those deep blue eyes gazing up. I never get tired of her eyes.

“Come on, you said you’d help me here.”

“Sorry,” I say with a half grin and my best attempt at contrition. I look down to the papers in her lap. Right, math. I was helping her with calculus. She was really very good at math. We were in the same class, but she was two years younger than me after skipping two grades in elementary school.

“This one you just take the derivative of your function and plug in these two values.” I can remember these things effortlessly now, which was a huge accomplishment for someone who doesn't particularly like math.

“See, this is why I keep you around,” she says, those rosy lips that I so adored pulled into a little smirk. She reaches up and kisses me. She always seems to find an excuse to kiss me. “You can go back to daydreaming now.” Indeed I do, retreating back to the dreamscape inside my head. This time I think back to when I met Clara.


I had just arrived on campus, a bright eyed college freshman. There I was, lost in a sea of beautiful women. Small private schools had never been kind to me in that regard. Everything on campus was a wonder. Nobody from my high school had come here and I was very much alone but I didn't mind, I had outgrown most of my high school friends long ago. It was long past time for me to expand my horizons.

I found myself standing in front of a massive glass building. I wasn't past checking my reflection in the glass windows. Had to make sure my hair still looked as good as it did when I arrived. Who knew when I might run in to? Opening the doors I caught a waft of the bookstore smell, unlike anything I expected. At home the bookstores were small, with dusty leather covers that begged to be handled and old people that smelled like coffee. This was completely different. The odor of panicked freshman and newly bound textbooks permeated the air. I decided right then I wouldn't be spending much time there.

There was a long line extending towards the back of the building. Not knowing better, I assumed it was the line I was supposed to be in and slowly made my way to the rear. This would take forever. I pulled out my phone and started on another game of Angry Birds. I had been killing evil pigs for almost five minutes when I began to feel like I was being watched. Sure enough I glanced up to see a large pair of deep blue eyes looking at me.

“You know, some psychologists say that technology is making us less social,” said the girl looking up at me. I couldn't respond. She had straight black hair pulled behind her in a long ponytail. She had a small, perfectly formed nose with what seemed like a sea of freckles on it. Even more freckles danced on her cheeks. She was several inches shorter than me, maybe 5’9” and had on tight jean shorts and a black tank top that exposed only the most tantalizing amount of cleavage.

“So I’m just starting to feel a little uncomfortable with you ******* me with your eyes like that,” she said with the smirk on her face that I would soon come to know.

“Sorry,” I said, a tiny grin tugging at the corner of my mouth, “You surprised me a bit.”

“I’m Clara. This is the point in conversation where you tell me your name.” I liked her already. She had confidence and wit that was both abrasive and attractive.

“I’m Jake, pleased to meet you.” ****, I was smooth, like a wagon over rocks. “Are you a freshman too?”

“Yep. Just got here. I don’t think this line is moving.” I really liked the way little dimples appeared at the corners of her mouth even when she frowned slightly.

“It really doesn't seem to be. At least I have pleasant company,” I said. Oh man I was so smooth! I was really proud of myself right there. Flirting was hard with pretty girls, they seemed to throw me off balance.

“Well, that was the least offensive flirting I've heard all day,” she replied. Good gosh this girl was straightforward. “It’s a good thing you’re cute or I might not have accepted that.” Cute. Okay, I could work with cute. “So you’re in psychology 1000?” she asked.

“Nope, I took that during high school.” I replied. Why would she ask that?

“Well, you’re standing in the psychology book pickup line.” She said with a slightly puzzled look on her face. I definitely was not in psychology.

“Oh, Psychology! I, uh, I thought you said, uh, philanthropy. Nope, I’m definitely in the right line." Okay, that was a lie and I was at least 100% sure philanthropy was not a class. But hey, I was under pressure. She looked at me like I was slightly on drugs but moved on without hesitation.

We talked about various meaningless things while the line crept closer to the back of the store. The stunningly blue shade of her eyes made it very difficult to focus on conversation. When we got to the pickup window, she paid for her book and stepped to the side, watching me. I decided to bow out of buying a several hundred dollar book just to avoid looking like an idiot. I comforted myself with the fact that she might think it was funny.

“Soooo. I’m not really in philanthropy. Or psychology. I just didn't want to stop talking to you just yet.” I said with a sheepish grin. Luckily for me, she laughed.

“Alright then Mr. Jake, what books do you really need? Maybe we can go stand in line again.” I listed off several books that I needed for classes.

“Calculus. I need that one as well. Come on silly.” She turned her back and started walking. I followed right on her heels, a goofy grin plastered all over my face.

That was my first interaction with Clara. We spent the next two hours gathering all of our books, and at the end I carried her rather large pile back to her dorm room. I was promptly rewarded with her phone number and some cookies that her mom had packed.


“Hey. What about this one?” Clara’s voice comes from beside me. I lean over to look at the paper again.

“This time just take the anti-derivative of cosine and solve for x.”

“Oh right. That's the last one.”

“What do you want to do now?” I ask.

“How about we go to your room and see if we can make your roommate uncomfortable enough to leave?” She says with a mischievous grin, bringing those deep blue eyes nearer to mine. She always seems to find an excuse to kiss me.
A rough draft excerpt from my short story, Fictional Truth.
Big Virge Oct 2014
BILLS BILLS BILLS !!!!
  
Soooo Many ... **** Bills ... !!!
I don't like Destiny's Child ... !!!
This ain't a Dance Drill ... !!!
  
I’m writing this poem
cos i'm ... TIRED ... of ... " BILLS " ... !!!!!
  
BILLS ... for the Electric ... !!!
BILLS ... for the Gas  …!!!
Soon … they'll be Billing ...
For taking a .... "SLASH" .... !!!?!!!
  
BILLS ... for ... The NET …
BILLS ... for your Texts ...
BILLS ... for those ... HOTLINES ...
For .... Telephone *** .... !!!
  
What will they bill next .... !?!
They're Billing .... Soooo Much ....
They don't even want ... Cheques ... !?!
  
Just Tap In ... Your PIN …
that's how they'll begin ...
to steal ... ALL Your Money ...
  
Why don't people see …. !?!
are they REALLY .... "THAT DIM" … ???
just look ... In Your Bank ...
  
"The Beast" .... Lies Within ....
  
Cashpoint machines .... “FAILING” ....
The service is .... “SICKENING” .... !!!
  
Meantime ..... YES ...... Your Bank
is … “HAPPILY” … Billing ....
  
Now ... I really would CHILL ....
if I ..... Never Again .....
SAW  .... A **** .... Dollar Bill !!!!
  
cos ... AMERICA’S ... used them
for Killing ... at Will ...
  
kinda gets me to ... Thinking .......
that ... even .... " Bill Clinton " ....
just bombed without ... Blinking ... !?!
  
Sudanese People .... DIED ...
as the U.S. .... just .... LIED ....
  
While meantime .... Bill Tried ... !!!
to STOP .... his **** .... SHRinKing ... !!!!!!
  
Lewinski .... for sure ....
Was NOT .... "FINGER LICKING" …. !!!!!
  
But doing ... Her Thing ...
while thinking ........... Ch-Ching ... !!!!!!!
  
Meantime .... Bill's career ....
was about to start .... SINKing ....
  
" TITANIC " ..... Indeed ..... !!!
  
Bill ... fulfilled ... His Need .... !!!
  
but then came ... The Press ... !
Monica's … "All DISTRESSED ... !!!"
  
but Bill ... Tried his Best ... !!!
once again .... to .... “DECEIVE” ….
  
but ... All of A SUDDEN ... !!!
BILL made ... "A NEW SOUND" ...
  
“Okay, Yes I did it … !!!”
  
The TRUTH ... did ... come out ... !!!!!!
  
So, how many Bills ... ?
are feeding us ... LIES ... !?!
from BILLS ... that we pay for ... ?
To … “UNIFORM GUYS” …. ???
  
Oh Yes ... The ... “OLD BILL” …
over here ... NEED TO ... chill … !!!!
They're beating on ... BLACKS ...
"RACISM" ….. “INSTILLED” …. !!!!!
  
Blacks Dying in ... Cells ...
All Show ... but ... No Tell ... !?!
of how this ... CHIT ... happens ....
  
“THE YOUNG MAN JUST FELL !!!!”
  
See, that's the ... Hard Sell ….
that's what ... Blacks Deserve ... !!!!!!!!
Ask .... Warren Mitchell .... !!!
  
Alf Garnett …. I MEAN ... !!!!!
  
See …. On TV screens ...
for years ... they've been showing ...
Blacks being .... "DEMEANED" ...
Drug Dealing .... or .... VIOLENT …
  
Then they want to ... BILL ME ...
for a **** ... TV Licence ... !!?!!
  
They may well be ... "Jokes" ...
to … “OLD SCHOOL” … White folks …
  
But .... Listen up ... CLOSE ... !!!!!
  
A Joke is a Joke .... !!!
but some ... "OLD BILL" ... these days ...
are those ... “*******” ... blokes ... !!!
  
So ... who in the end ...
will have faces of ... YOLK ...
  
Well .... NOT .... Rodney King !!!
Try this for a name ....
PC .... Julian Glyn ....
  
A .... Leicester .... Policeman …
caught .... " CHILD MOLESTING "… !!!
  
See i'm SICK of ... these Bills !!!!

We're paying .... "TAXATION" ...
for these ignorant ... " SICKO’S " ... !!!!!!!!!
to get their ... "CHEAP THRILLS" ... !?!
or to use ... Dollar Bills
to get people .... KILLED .... !!?!!
  
So ….

There are a FEW Reasons ...
why ... Bills ... get to me ...
amounting to ... TREASON ...
  
Haven't YOU ... had your fill ... !?!
  
Well ... maybe you ... Have … ?
Or ... maybe you ... Haven't … ?
  
I just want to ... RELAX ...
and be able to ... " CHILL " ...
and not have to ... Worry ...
about these ... " ****** " ….
  
BILLS … BILLS … BILLS … !!!!
They just keep on with them .....
Jackie G Apr 2018
Have you ever gone soooo far.
You've felt there wasn't anyway you could return. Thinking*
What have i done?!
Too ashamed to tell
But too deep to reach the surface for Air.
Suffocating.
One day I decided to let go
"Let go of the world" I Told myself.
For Everything in it has drowned me
When I let go
I've realized who i was.
That i only went Deep because i tried to find my identity
But My identity wasn't in the WORLD
All along it's been inside me.
You know! The beauty within!
Not my flaws.
Not my mistakes.
But the goodness from God's grace.
Same with you, Believe! Have faith! Soon you'll find
In this world you have no place- Because its wicked.
Now thats deep!!!!
Michael John Sep 2018
well that was lunch which
was preoccupied with such
thoughts of the typical poet
eg why does the world want
to cheat me..

what is the point and what
is for tea..my lover´ s eyes are
burnished fields´  of wheat
i thought of love
and lily..

a small blue bowl of vague
reminded of a broken heart
and since stopping smoking
marijuana has my art
suffered unnecessarily..

or is it better some clue
must tell the difference between
the placid and uncontolable rage
the compatability of lasagne and rice
the oxymoron..

the pollution of serviettes..
with our destructive urges
laced with inexplicable
flat cola and
creation..

not unlike hunting for
searching salt to will
made in our own likeness
cold soup to chips
to explain..

what is this thing called man
chapatti and jam..
we have to have to tell
we have to work
and then stack
to clear them..

begin again
the thoughts
of a typical
poet and soooo
end..
THE WODEN WESTFIELD CHRISTMAS PARADE




SUE’   HI AND WELCOME TO THE WODEN WESTFIELD CHRISTMAS PARADE

MARKING THE START OF SANTA’S JOURNEY, HERE, AND AT PRESENT

THEY ARE CLEANING THE FLOOR WAY, SO THEIR AIN’T ANY ACCIDENTS, MATE

AND ME SUE LONGWAYS HAS PETE WITH A CAROLD FROM US

PETE’  WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS

OH YEAH A JOLLY CHRISTMAS

A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS

IN THE SOUTH OF CANBERRA TODAY

GOOD PRESENTS WE’LL GIVE

TO EACH OF OUR KIDS

YPU SEE WE WISH YOU A HAPPY CHRISTMAS AT

WODEN WESTFIELD TODAY

SUE’   THAT WAS A GREAT SONG AND NOW

HERE IS ANOTHER CAROL FROM PRUE

PRUE’   OH YEAH THE CHRISTMAS BELLS

OH ******* WHERE ARE THE KIDDIES

I CAN’T FIND THEM OH NO

AND THEN AS I WALK AROUND WOOLWORTHS YEAH

I FOUND MY KIDDIES, YEAH I DID

EATING CHOCOLATE AND MOTHER HAD TO PAY THE BILL YET AGAIN

SUE’  ME SUE LONGWAYS WILL BE BACK AFTER THIS BREAK BOBBYE SANTA LAND

THE KIDDIES ARE HERE

PART 2
SUE’   AND WELCOME BACK TO THE FRESH FOOD SECTION OF WODEN WESTFIELD AWAITING

THE START OF THE SANTA CLAUS PARADE

AND WHILE WE ARE WAITING, NEVER HESITATING WE ARE REALLY REALLY WAITING

TO START IT, HERE IS A YOUNG DUDE JINGLE BELLS, FROM BILLY

BILLY’  YO DUDES, WE ARE DASHING THRU THE EARTH, LIKE A YO SURFER SHARK

WITH ALL THE PRESENTS IN THE BACK, AND A GREAT BIG DOG THAT BARKS

YO LEAVE ME ALONE YA DOG

I WANT TO SEND YO SURFER TO SWIM

ON EVERY BEACH OF THIS GREAT BIG WORLD

AND RIDE THEV WAVES, THAT’S GREAT

JINGLE BELLS YO JINGLE BELLS

THE CHRISTMAS SHARK HAS COME

TO GIVE THE KIDS AND ADULTS GIFTS

AND ***** TO GET US BLIND

YA SEE WE HAVE XXXX AND VB TOO

AS WELL AS CHAMPAGNE YIPPEE I AY

YEAH THESE JINGLE BELLS ARE  RINGING DUDES

YEAH ON THIS CHRISTMAS DAY

YO, YA HERE THE CHRISTMAS BELLS

ARE RINGING WITH A LOUD SONG

AND THE REINDEER DOES A **** IN THE PADDOCK

AND BOY DOES IT MAKE A PONG

YA SEE YO SURFER SHARK IS COMING UP TO SAY

OH WHAT A WONDERFUL TIME OF YEAR WE HAVE

I WANT TO CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY

JINGLE BELLS YO JINGKE BELLS

THE CHRISTMAS SHARK HAS COME

TO GIVE ALL THE KIDS AND ADULTS GIFTS

AND ***** TO GET US BLIND

SUE’    SORRY BILLYI MUST STOP YOU NOW, AS THE PARADE

HAS STARTED, WITHN A MONSTERLOOKING REALLY COOL

AND A FEW KABGAROOS AND REINDEERS AND A MARCHING BAND

AND ALSO SANTA WITH A BEAUTIFUL MRS CLAUS

THAT THIS CITY JAS EVER SEEN, AND WESTFIELD WODEN, IS COMING ALIVE

WITH HEAPS OF CHRISTMAS CHEER, AND THE MONSTER ISN’T A MONSTER

IT’S AN ALLIGATOR, OR EVEN SHREK, ******* LOOKS LIKE SHREK

YEAH IT’S RADICALLY AWESOME, AND THERE ARE A FEW PRETTY CHEER GIRLS

AND ALL THE BLOKES SAY, THEY ARE SOOOO HOT BABY

AND MRS CLAUS IS WAVING TO EVERYONE DANCING ALONG HAPPILY

TO EVERY CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYED BY THE GREAT BAND

MAN, SHE IS SWAYING FROM SIDE TO SIDE, DUDES

IT IS RADICALLY AWESOME DUDES

AND SANTA YELLED OUT, MERRY CHRISTMAS ON THE BOTTOM FLOOR

YEAH THIS IS COOL, AND IT’S THE ALLIGATOR, WHO IS THE FINEST COSTUME ANIMAL

AS WE ARE MAKING A GREAT TRAVEL AROUND THE WODEN WESTFIELD PLAZA

AND I SEE THE ELVES KEEPING CLOSE SHOWING THEIR CHRISTMAS SPIRIT

AND EVERYONE IS WAVING THEIR HANDS AS THE PARADE WENT ON

AND WE JUST PASSED A KID WITH A SUPERMAN SUIT ON, HE’S COOOL MAN

YEAH THIS IS RADICALLY AWESOME DUDES

SANTA GIVES ALL THE MEN CUDDLES AS HE TRIUMPHS THROUGH THE MALL

AND AS WE DRAW TO LINCRAFT ESCULATOR, THEY MOVE ON FORWARD

TO MAKE A STOP AT EPIC HAIR SALON

WHERE THEY MADE A TURN AROUND AND ME SUE LONGWAYS

IS HAVING A WOW OF A TIME

AS THE BIG SHEEP DOGS AND OWNERS, AND THE BEAUTIFUL CHEER GIRLS

AND THEN SANTA PATTED ME SUE LONGWAYS, ON THE SHOULDER

YOUR MY OFF SIDER, SUE LONGWAYS, AS ME SUE LONGWAYS IS WEARING

A SANTA SUIT FOR AAA YOUTUBE TV

AND NOW WE ARE HEADING TO THE ESCULATOR, NEAR THE BIG W ENTRANCE

AND THE BAND PLAY RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER

HAS A VERY SHINY NOSE, AND IF YA EVER SAW IT, YA CAN EVEN SAY IT GLOWS, LIKEW A LIGHT BULB

ALL OF THE OTHER REINDEERS USED TO LAUGH AND CALL HIM NAMES, LIKE PINNOCHIO

THEY NEVER LET POOR RUDOLPH, JOIN IN ANY REINDEER GAMES, LIKE MONOPOLY

AND THEY GET TO THE NEXT DOWN LEVEL; AND THE BAND PLAYED

HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS

RIGHT DOWN SANTA CLAUS LANE,BLITZEN AND ***** AND ALL THE REINDEERS

PULLING ON THE REIGNS

AND SANTA AND THE ALLIGATOR AND THE GINGERBREAD MAN WAVED

TO ALL THE KIDDIES AS THEY MAKE IT THROUGH

CHRISTMAS IS HERE AND PEOPLE ARE EATING LUNCH AS

WE ARE PARADING THROUGH THE FOOD COURT, OH YEAH

AND ME SUE LONGWAYS, THINKS THIS IS COOL, MAN

EAT MY FLAMING SHORTS, LIKE BART SIMPSON SAYS

AND SANTA AND THE ALLIGATOR ARE WALKING PAST HUNGRY JACKS AND MACCAS, YEAH MATE YEAH

YA KNOW, HAVING A WOW OF A FLAMING TIME

AND THEN THE BAND PLAYED

YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BETTER NOT CRY

YOU BETTER NOT POUT I AM TELLING YOU WHY

SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

AND THE REINDEER AND THE ALLIGATOR AND THE CHEER GIRLS, TEEN OR TWEEN, OH YEAH

AND WAVING TO EVERYONE WAVING TO EVERYONE

AND ONE LADY HAS THE GIFTS, SANTA WILL GIVE THE KIDDIES

AS THEY SIT ON HIS KNEES

AND WE PULL UP HERE AT MUFFIN BREAK

AND NOW WE ARRIVE AT SANTA’S WORKSHOP

AND ME SUE LONGWAYS IS EXCITED AS SANTA MEERTS HIS FIRSTKIDS IN THE LINE

ARE THE MOST EXCITIBLE KIDS IN WODEN

AS WE VWATCH THE KIDS EYES COME OUT WITH TOTAL AMAZEMENT

AS THE KIDDIES CHEER SANTA SANTA SANTA OI OI OI

WE ARE CHEERING ON OUR SANTA CLAUS, YEAH AND THE DOGS WALK ON THEIR PAWS

AND THE CROWD GOTN THEIR PHOTOS WITH THE GINGER BREAD MAN

AND NOW HERE IS BOBBHY WITH HIS SONG

BOBBY’   JINGLE BELLS JBATMAN SMELLS

ROBIN LAID AN EGG

THE BATMOBILE LOST IT’S WHEEL

AND THE JOKER GOT AWAY

JINGLE BELLS BATMAN SMELLS

ROBIN FLEW AWAY

WONDER WOMAN LOST HER *****,

FLYING QANTAS AIRWAYS

SUE’   AND WE LOST OUR MAN WHO SANG OUR JINGLE BELLS YOUNG DUDE SONG, SO WE CAN’T BRING HIM ON

BUT IT’S TIME TO GO AND PARTY DOWN IN SANTAS VILLAGE
Michael Ryan Nov 2013
My poem is called how to be forced into a talent show.
It's very easy to be forced into a talent show when you're me.
No, I am not saying, "Ooooo" look at me I am Michael Ryan and I am the most talented person in the world.
I'm more saying, "oooo" look at me, I'm such a nice person that I will do your talent show, even though I don't want to.
Yes, that is what I am really trying to say, but not in a conceited kind of way, because that's not me.
I was forced into this talent show from the very beginning.
The very beginning, the very first sign up day.
and I thought "hmm I don't have any talent", and she was like oh yes you do, well of course I believe her.
And from that moment I've felt slightly uneasy, because to be honest she can't be there every day to tell me "hey you have talent."
And to be honest all I'm doing is a SPOKEN WORD poem, which is pretty much just me talking.
What a talent that must be...but not really.
Then my friend tried to jump on board with me to do a duet of a poem, so I was forced even more in to this situation.
But luckily that person changed their mind and so I was just stuck with my original oh you have talents person stringing me along into this over thought situation.
Just to let you know I did eventually try to tell them hey I think I'm not gonna do(but then they cut me off), and told me once again you got talents, and please please please do my talent show.
So of course I can't say no, that's not what a nice guy would do, which I am.
And this is what came to me, how about I just write about how one is forced to be doing this in front of a group of people, even though you already said no soooo many times.
And to be honest this is terrifying, because I just came up with this, 30mins ago.
Even though I sat for many hours thinking what to write, it just never felt well right.
And ugh seriously this is so stressful, that I really do wonder why I am even up here.
I could be sleeping right now, but instead I've been convinced to do this.
And there's no guarantee anyone or myself will even like this.
But sleep, ****, I know I would like to fall into that right now.
Just dreaming, peacefully, to be sleeping and not on a stage, being gawked at by some strangers.
There was a talent show 13/11/13 and this is my poem.  I did a duet with another person with this poem, where she would say somethings in between some of these lines, people really enjoyed the show.  They said it was hilarious.  This was edited a lot for the duet since it was not planned to be that way at all.
My Dear Poet Apr 30
She said,
“My name is a flower, you see”

I said “Lily…it must be?”
She said, “no, no, no!…

...a Lily…is soooo,
not as beautiful
as me”


She replies
bashfully and wise
I’m just as much beauty to the eyes
as I am to the nose.”


“Oh!…you must be Rose”
She laughed
and cried more ‘no’s’

“It sounds a little crazy
I know and maybe…
but you must be a Daisy??”


she giggled all the more
“who knows?”
and winked
“.. if only baby”

Finally,
I put my thinking aside
I tell no lie,
while I, still in my head
wondering

she sighed

”My names not ‘white’ or ‘plain’
‘Self raising’ “
, she said
”…is my name”.
jeffrey robin Apr 2015
)(
)(     )(
/\
                 ••••

We are the Poets
( we are sooo sensitive! )



The vision of YOU

NAKED !

Floating !

Nakedly floating !

In the bathtub

With your gently slit wrists

Pulsatingly offering your

Life to the healing waters !!!!

I picture the bathtub as the

GREAT PRIMORDIAL SEA !

and your senseless body 1 of 1000's

Of tender lifeless bodies

Bobbing up and down on the waters !

A TOTALLY RIGHTEOUS OFFERING !

There before the EYE OF GOD

( and Me )



The bobbing of the waters

The hypnotic spreading

Of the legs

The revealing

Of the secret sacred opening !

Before the EYES OF GOD and MAN

••

( WE ARE THE POETS !

WE ARE THE SENSITIVE !!!!

---we who truly face the beauty and the pain --- )

••

The healers !

The gift givers  !

We stare into her secret sacred opening and wonder

At her soft offering

Her gentle pornographic vulnerability

//////

HOW HARD IT IS !!

( and getting harder ! )

//

WE ARE THE MASSIVELY HEROIC POETS !

our brave words float onto the paper

As wisely and as purely

As our blood flows out

As our blood inundates the waters !

As our minds inundate the helpless female body
Floating there

In its pornographic hapless splendor

And as TRUE POETS ! we cry out

MORE ! MORE !

as the bobbing waters

Spread her open and we gaze on

Soooo sensitively

And so sensitively

We erase all sense of pain or shame

///

WE ARE THE POETS !

yes we are !

We write LOVE POEMS!

( don't we ? )

Soooo sensitive !

//

WE THE POETS !

We are soooo sensitive !
John Stevens Jun 2014
Just a story.
When I was a kid... yes there was a time I was a kid, the garden was just South of the house.  Mom and I worked in the garden a lot.  Sometimes when she was not in the garden I would lay between the carrot rows, pull a carrot out of the sandy soil, brush off the sand and have a very fresh yummy carrot.  They were soooo tender they seemed to melt in my mouth.  Anyway, when I was finished eating the carrot I would put the top back into the hole.  No one was the wiser.  No one knew the difference or so I thought.  I did notice the carrot top would wilt which looked a little suspicious but... there was a gopher problem so maybe the gophers ate the carrots.  Sounded like a good story to me.  "Did the gopher eat the carrot mom?" "Yes probably so."

I found out years later.... Mom knew who the gopher was.  BUSTED.

I was telling this story to my grand daughter Lucy after school one day.  Her eyes brightened up and said, "That is a funny story grandpa."  So here it is added to the memories of a grandpa.  Lucy keeps telling people, strangers even, "you should hear this. Grandpa tell them about the carrots."  The story has latched onto her 5 year old brain and won't let go.

So... the next time you are eating a carrot... don't fib to your mom.
I remember that when the gopher pulled carrots too small, mom admonished the gopher "must let them grow bigger". I passed that bit of information on to "sir gopher".  The gopher listened. What luck.
Nat Lipstadt Sep 6
(trigger warning: my apologies to the long poem haters,
nah, not really)

<>

Dawg!

your last and latest test be driving me crazee-
the poem conception birth rate is out of control,
them titles intriguing, stinging,
falling like curling up and dying oak leaves crunchy neath my feet,

and this little town don’t allow no burning thereof,
inclusive of leaves, poem drafts or witches

it’s not only the skin-pores, inhaling,
but the braniac neurons
that are clogging up
(ex. where’s my coffee mug hiding
when it ain’t hiding in the microwave)
and there ain’t no legal Drano for the
upper cortex contextual,
and condoms on my ears looked upright atrifling,
small & unbecoming, 
so pse. put a lid on it,
without sacrificing my nice head of grayling fibers
you graciously let me inherit ~
(thanks mom!)

soooo,
need to provide a method of contraception, legal and100% poem~proof, to keep me in decent metal health, with a natural speed limit on steadily in~fluxing immigrants of
seditious inspirational insights,
and these insider’s outside sights/sighs that
my eyes catalogue, and remind/tell, as well,
my buddies, the animals and the elements,
who constantly are hinting ‘n suggesting themselves
for yet another scripture of praiseworthy adoration

(esp. the rabbits, the ospreys, &
the nighttime starry skies,
a living tableaux de peinture…)
to pretty please
cease and desist
before *I

seize (up) and de-exist,

overwhelmed by piles of dead leaves
and out of computer memory
for anymore inspiration retention

Your earliest attention to this
Matter of Urgency to me, and

What‘a that you said?

Start a petition?
You kidding?

Might as we try to buy indulgences,
in bulk at Costco,
though they are never in stock!

I get it.

Using Pandora as your voice never fails.

You just played Judy Collins singing
Pete Seeger’s Turn,Turn, Turn.

Unsubtle.

This is my seasonal hint too,
part of my timed descent towards the
shadowed valleys + visible peaks I’ve
occasionally reached

My finale’s approchment nigh,
yet, don’t turn my heart or my senses
just quite yet,
from the spark divine you have placed within us each,
don’t let it burn brightest before
it flames out of existence
into extinction.
Appreciate the heads up, really

Most don’t know ‘bout this method of our conversing,
and the hint, the seasonal changeover, taking place now,
is mourned by my utterance with every breath of
a Kaddish prayer
contained within
a larger message:
natty, it’s time to
turn, turn, turn

Which way when,
of courses,
you’ll musically clue me in…

but you impatient being,
drawn after all in the
shape of humans,
fast forwards, nay hurtles this human,
with chariots spun from a summer sun’s
fonts and hints,
accidents and incidents,
by spectacles through spectacles,
colors emboldened by  
in a glory, glory, glorious
sun-nation

****!

Vienna Teng sweetly invades singing
Homecoming (Walter,’s Song):

but things are good I've got a lot of followers of my faith
I've got a whole congregation living in my head these days
and I'm preaching from the pulpit
to cries of “Amen brother”
closing my eyes to feel the warmth come back
and I've come home
even though I swear I've never been so alone
I've come home
I just want to be living as I'm dying
just like everybody here
just want to know my little flicker of time is worthwhile
and I don't know where I'm driving to
but I know I'm getting old
and there's a blessing in every
moment every mile…

well I'll kneel down on the carpet here
though I never was sure of God
think tonight I'll give Him the benefit of the doubt
I switch off the lights and imagine that waitress outlined in the bed
her hair falling all around me
I smile and shake my head
well we all write our own endings
and we all have our own scars
but tonight I think I see what it's all about
because I've come home
I've come home.”*
(lyrics by Tom Hall)

Got it.

so many summarize better,
but even still a bit heavy handed when
you follow up with  Sting’s “Fields of Gold,”
and even, jeez, Louse,
“Danny Boy?!”

Your DJ is a ham
(I know, not exactly kosher).

It’s my season of the muse,
extracting every remaining incantation,
knowing  there are hundreds, thousands,
of notional ideations
in my draft files,
some born even before HP!

But deny them not their use,
they cannot remain forever
unemployed,
but at their peril, double toil and trouble,
be them entrusted, encrusted, secreted
in someone else’s existence,
by your annoying divine persistence

Demanding Being,
have you no sense of
sufficiency? (1)

Eva so sweet Cassidy
ends this trip
with “Who knows where the time goes ?”

Gonna pack up this ditty,
containing a peace of deity,
drive back to the city
where all my sorrows
are streeted above ground,
inescapable resounded …

now down to  2% battery (ramming)
and this cracked -screen
whispers too gently,
“no mas”
my dearest companion,
you still don’t know
when to shut up,
or call it quits,
but I’m hearing a new crew
old familiar poets, awaiting,
who will take one up & in,
relieve you of you earthly sins,
and I hear up there,
you’ve got
unlimited
data storage
and no need for cords
and
batteries

Seeing the schooner drawing nigh,
must be the season of
‘at last, here is Shelter,’
repentance (2)


<>

n.m.l.
Weds. Sept 4,
2024
while sitting by
my dock on the sound,
who insists that it’s
soundless wavings of water
get the last silent
mention
published Friday Sept. 6,,
Sabbath Eve

p.s.
(and that’s how u put the playlist
in an Audio Visual poem,, kid)
(1) “Who by Fire
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/1833523/for-leonard-cohen-who-by-fire/
(3)

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/462537/how-i-observed-the-day-of-atonement/
<>

Ecclesiastes

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to ****, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
KC Sep 2013
Love Lust Lies Pain Anger and Frustration. How does these things have any connection? Many people would say that they dont, but little do they know.

"i love you" something that is heard very often, but has lost soooo much meaning. Saying "i love you" now ah days is code for :

i will hurt you..

or

im gonna use you..

People have become smart. They have learned what to say. When to say it. And how to say "i love you" to get what they want. People LIE about LOVE to cover up the LUST that they have for the other person. The love isnt emotional.. but its physical. When this becomes apparent, the other person is hurt which causes PAIN which later turns to FRUSTRATION. All of the LIES that are being told. Secrets and double lives. Why put soooo much more effort into hiding things from people then just puttin enough effort into being loyal? All of these things, in the end, turns to ANGER.

People become angry with the other person. Later, angry with themselves for believing the LIES and being blind to the truth. Future relationships have just gotten harder to handle and to deal with because now.. people think that anyone they talk to will just LIE to them just like the previous person in their life did.

So.. does these things have a connection?

they very much do.

"i love you" has gained a new meaning.

gained a new understanding..

&& is no longer something bright and delightful..

but something dark and stressful..

-kc
the neptune benefit tooth extraction concert


with briano alliano


hi dudes, i am briano alliano and i am up here on neptune

doing a benefit concert to help athena help my earth body

with his tooth extraction, and the first song is i am bop and

i am unskinny, here goes



you see i am walking around looking silly, oh yeah

i party really hard, yeah

and i put gasoline to pump up my car yeah

and that makes me feel all so cool

my selected teeth are leaving my mouth yeah

i will party yeah, and that’ll make me cool

that makes me feel like i am bop, and i am unskinny

you see partying is the way to be

you see i am feeling all so strange

and when i was young i was called strange

by young dudes who were jealous of me

i party in the club with a seafood basket and a coke, yeah

yeah, green coke is what i like the best

and i am bop, and i am unskinny and i feel so radical

oh yeah, i do, yeah

i am having my tooth extractions

oh yeah, that will make me feel like i am falling overl, oh yeah

and that makes me bop, who is very unskinny, bop pity hoop

this next song, dudes is a ******* of our behaved prime minister

hey, mr abbott, why are my dentist bills so high

abbott replied, in these hardened economic times

we have to tighten our belts, and heads back to his mansion

and reverse cycle air conditioning

and we call out

hey, mr abbott

hey mr abbott

hey mr abbott

why are you giving us problems with dental care

you are stuffing us around, fella

so what is the problem, mr abbott, what f..k is going on

you are making poor people suffer, day in day out

and hey mr abbott, how do you suppose to think we feel about it

ya silly old fool, what’s wrong wit5h ya mr abbott

and now after i gave our behated prime minister a serve

here is my song called 15 miles

15 miles to get to the end

without some people driving us round the bend

ya see they are pushing us around every day and night

i am finding it hard to cross the stateline


you see i go to space every time i sleep

and when i am there, i have no time to peep

i throw methane all over the dead

brad, randy, mark and paul had a lot on them

and now i feel like tipping methane all over fred

and as i did that, i felt so great

then we go 15 miles to get to the end

without some people driving me round the bend

this concert, dudes raises the awareness of my dental surgery through athena

and i lay it out for my friend philomena

and travelling for 15 miles right on time

to get all the way to reach the state line

PARTY

PARTY

PARTY

PARTY

We’ll do that every day and night

as we reach the great australian bite, right now

and, dudes here is another song, called fly burgers

fly burgers, are as tasty as can be

fly burgers, are good enough for me

just catch a blowie between two buttered buns

add some lettuce and tomato

and have a lot of fun

at the footy, the flies are cooking on the plate

they are saying ya little young dudes

you are sitting up too late

just catch a well cooked blowie

and get out the bowl

put the fly in the burger mix

yeah, drown ‘em in a hole,

YEAH

fly burgers are good enough to eat

fly burgers are such a tasty treat

just catch a blowie between two buttered buns

then add lettuce and tomato

and have so much fun

now in a restaurant a fly comes in

and parks on the griller

you feel like going to the zoo

and talk to a gorilla

just catch that flaming’ blowie

and add lettuce and tomato

and cook the fly, yeah that is sweet

as tasty as gelato

fly burgers are good enough to eat

fly burgers are such a tasty treat

just catch a blowie between two buttered buns

add some lettuce and tomato

and have a lot of fun

in the summer friends drop round

to enjoy the atmosphere

some bring coke, some bring wine

and the australians all brought beer

the bbq man noticed a fly upon his back

he got the swat, and whacked it up,

OH HERE JACK

fly burgers are good enough to eat

fly burgers are such a tasty treat

just catch a blowie between

two buttered buns

add some lettuce and tomato

and have so much fun

now the hospital has been busy this year

since fly burgers were on the menu

people saying that fly burgers

put germs right in you

an old man, a young boy

both died of poisoning

and nobody knows if it was

the fly burgers that did them in

fly burgers are good enough to eat

fly burgers are such a tasty treat

just catch a blowie between tw2o buttered buns

add some lettuce and tomato

and have a lot of fun, and have soooo much ****** fun,

DUDES PARTY

DUDES PARTY

DUDES PARTY

YOUNG DUDES WANT TO HAVE FLY BURGERS ON BBQ PLATES ALL OVER THE WORLD

SO DO FAM——LI——ES

and have so much fun, oh yeah


here is the next song, called the club is open


you see the club is open, is open is open

you see the club is open for the patrons to enjoy

you see the club is open, is open, is open

you see the club is open for the patrons to enjoy

you see come on carry me, ya see a clubber, i will always be

the club is open for the patrons to enjoy

ya excellent service is so cool

yeah mate yeah, we break no rule

you see the club is open for the patrons to enjoy

and now i will get this methane smoothie and throw it all over the crowd, yeah

this will be cool, man

and now dudes, the dental surgery is complete

the benefit concert is over

i will fly back to Canberra

the tooth extraction is complete, i am leaving neptune

see ya next time,

tata love, from the oldie in myself
Angel Groman Mar 2013
Unfortunately I'm not perfect, and I make mistakes, and I'm definitely not the most beautiful girl in the world, but you know what, I've had such a hard life, but i have such a huge heart that only wants you, I know we are perfect for each other, and I love you soooo much, so I really hope you can just except me who I am, and realize no body is perfect especially not me, and I hope I can still be the only love in your life, I want to know how much I mean to you, and I want to know I'm the only one for you baby, because you are definitely the only one for me and if I can't have you I don't want anyone else!!!! <99999999999999 XOXOXOXOXOXO :)
You hide in plain sight as does day when engulfed by night
For darkness is simply…. The absence of light
You claim to have special enlightenment
And that your knowledge is for the better good of the people
Pledge your allegiance and your success will be imminent
Break your pledge and your death will be discrete
So why would you become part of something so “elite”?
With only one thing in mind; to see the human race in defeat.
An interminable amount of subliminal messages
Hinting at events that are destructive, demoralizing, and deceptive.
9/11… was it really an act of terrorism?
Or was it just an evil plot… something you guys expected?
Al-quaeda and the Taliban… roaming around in the lands of Iran
But on the land I walk some say it’s a misperception
Just a façade in our brain so the government secrets are protected.
Michael Jackson… and the Kennedy assassination
Were they both untimely events in American history?
Ghandi, The King,  Malcolm X,  Princess Diana, Shakur,
Paul, Marley, the Kennedys’, Lennon, Fredinand, Lincoln!!
All of  whom were either at your feet or tried to make your secret secrete
These deaths… from assassination to suicide… were all… “unfortunate” to the human eye?
Or were they “fortunate” for the Eye of the Beholder?
But why go to such great extent to have these powerful and influential people wiped from the human race?
To keep a secret that has been soooo well kept for hundreds of years?
A secret society that is not so discrete… anymore
Hidden in plain sight and away from the human eye…..
Trying to keep a disguise that will lead to our eventual demise
You aren’t doing the world any favors
By keeping an explicitly intricate order in store
You’re favoring your own world under one order
By intricately deceiving the minds of innocent citizens
So, you hide in plain sight, the light of the earth
A light you hope one day becomes permanently dark
Cause once again, darkness is only the absence of light.
With no light, we will be forced at the feet of your might
Despite a fight, with no light and your might, we’re all just mites stuck on your flight of new world order.
Well let me just end on this… **** THE ILLUMINATI!
This is my first slam poem which I performed a couple of weeks ago on an odd topic of the Illuminati.
JA Perkins Aug 2021
Now it's all an echo that
haunts my hollow heart
drowned by harsh words
spoken when it fell apart.
"I love you, babe", you said
and, then, I was so sure
that come hell or high water
love would always endure.
Now it's all gone..
Faded by foolish pride
Locked inside a memory
that haunts me day and night.  
But, inside, I still whisper
when I want to feel your touch
"You're my only person, babe,
and I love you soooo much."
I miss you
Kitty Parson Jun 2013
Not even kidding.
I have been in the throes
of a sort of mid-life crisis,
because I can't have
any more babies.

I ******* LOVE BABIES

My best friend is pregnant
right now. Soooo pregnant.
It's ******* adorable.
And I, I am unable to have

ANY MORE BABIES.

BUT I LOVE BABIES.

No ****, you guys,
I really like to have babies.

I am *******

GOOD AT HAVING AWESOME BABIES.

My ****** was like
baby ******* paradise.
And I just had
a miniature midlife crisis
over the fact that
I had to use the word
"was" right there.

If I still had that ******,
I would be forced
to use multiple layers
of protection
to ward off fertilization, and

MORE BABIES.

I LOVE BABIES.

I can gestate like a *******.
Oh wait, maybe
more like a ****** mother,

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

******* BABIES!

And when I give birth,
I do it kamikaze style,
with only a couple minutes
notice for the attending physician.

BLINKED? OH NO, SORRY
DR. *******,
YOU ******* MISSED IT!

Back when I had a ******,
like last year,
I was fertile
like a thing that is incredibly fertile.
You had to put an army
between me and my ******,
or some **** would go on
and I would be all,
oh! A new kid!
That's inconvenient!
But man,
you know,
you birth a child,
it's insanely difficult
on a level incomprehensible
to anyone who hasn't done it,
you work through it.

And then ******* hell,
you're the mother
of 3 teenagers
and your very productive
****** is all

*******, SERIOUSLY?

And you put it out of  
your misery, and then,
a few months later,
you think

it would be nice to have another baby.
JR McFadden Jun 2015
Life and death are one in the same; most people just don’t know that. Once you realize that our conscious doesn’t walk the line between the two realms and they all exist in the same realm, you’re entirely ******.  The mundane reality of our existence becomes shockingly clear and it makes you wonder; who gives a ****?  For some reason or another we are expected to, just like we are expected to go to school, just like we are expected to get a job, just like we expected to work our lives away until we are old and gray, then we are expected to enjoy our golden years; die and go on to heaven or whatever. What happens when you reject these conceptions fundamentally and create your own. I don’t know… you don’t know… nobody knows. We could all just **** ourselves and maybe that would fix the world, well… no; that wouldn’t fix the world, but it might fix mine. That seems like a terrible idea doesn’t it? Self-destruction for self-preservation. What I mean by that is this, the world will either crush your soul and **** you, or **** you. So why take the risk, risk the disappointment? This was a wildly depression interpretation of existence. Maybe it's like this because I’m stuck in some dumpy ******* town… Where people drink to drown their boredom, which I find wildly depressing and somehow they soak it up. My entire life has been broken up into 14days on and 7days off. This means I spend 2 thirds of my life with this uninspired people how think binge drinking is the only way to have a good time. I suppose there was a time in my life when I could relate; however unfortunate that is. But now I’ve lost the desire to do so. Where are the other people in my life and in my writing? So focused on my own views on the world with know one else’s ideas or perception. Loneliness seems to be a theme of my life, and understanding myself is my great pilgrimage. The exploration of my body and soul can be achieved. It  begun when I realized I was a conscience being, The first time I contemplated suicide was at the ripe all age of 13. Why I thought about this on a beautiful day at the lake I had visited in the summer with my family for years, puzzles me to this day. Which happens to be the origin of some of my fondest memories. On my bike in the green space that over looks the beach next to the lakeside community center. The sun was bright and the day was hot. Family and friends that I’d known for years surrounded me. Could have been the fear of rejection from the girls that I had little boy feelings for. Interesting how the fear of rejection on such a minor scale can lead to self-destructive thoughts when I should have been playing in with my friends and riding my bike. Trying to write a story… but instead I get a case study for a psych student. Idle hands are the devils playthings. I was thinking earlier; as I was trying to find an activity for the evening and being told time after time that the bar called the Detour was the best place in town to have fun because in this town that’s where people go to drink and here drinking is the thing to do. I thought writing with all that for inspiration would be very difficult. Turns out that it’s not really difficult but **** is it depressing. I want my mind and soul to be immersed in art, music, poetry, philosophy and love; not drenched in close-minded thinking and rye whisky. But here we are, writing in my surprisingly nice hotel room. It’s brand new and the beds are fancy, I thought two pillows was more than enough, but here… I have FOUR! **** shame I have no one to share it with, but that’s to be expected. I feel like Weyburn Saskatchewan isn’t the place where I’m going to find the love of my life and I sadly don’t have much interest in becoming intimate with some unsavory harlot with tattoos being the primary sense of identity.  It doesn’t interest me in the slightest. There was a lovely girl at the restaurant today though, I was there earlier for dinner. She was from Victoria and seemed like a genuine person, but she had a boyfriend who dragged her out to this **** hole… yikes. I’m sorry beautiful, I hope he is a good man, because I would like to think that I could offer you more… but here I am... and what the **** do I know... Writing things that will probably never be read by another human being on earth, unless some catastrophic global event destroys everything on this planet expect my laptop and a few lucky survivors who repopulate and thirty thousand years from now they uncover this and recover my hard drive and finally read this. As unbelievable unlikely as that is, this one goes out to you future folks. Well done you guys really pulled through. If monkeys have taken over… I’m very sad that you’re reading my long dead words, I really feel like we would have really hit it off.

Ok ok, lets see if I can give you something worth reading. I want to write a novel, I real story. Something epic, heart felt and amazing. I don’t know if I can do it, but I have soooo much time to **** so **** it! I CAN DO IT!
Story ideas…
- Duel personally kleptomaniac
- Barbarian warlord tale… blood, guts, **** and  battle.
- Exploration of the world.
- Create my own world….
- A ****** tale about a guy who works in the oil patch and writes garbage, gets stuck and gets a cheese burger.

Alright… well that’s what I'm working with…. I'm going to get a cheese burger.
Don't take this seriously... I don't
Elihu Barachel Jan 2015
My favorite verse of scripture [1], is from the Book that’s last  
It’s about the Wrath of God, poured out on you en masse  
-
Chapter number fourteen, verses nine and ten  
As I watch you burn, I will shout AMEN
-
You’ll fulfill another verse, from the Sermon on the Mount  
Mathew five verse five, God will settle His account  
-
How many lovey-dovey “Christians” will there be that take the Mark?  
All the non-Elect, to “The Way” you did not hark [2]  
-
I will watch you burn…watch you fricassee and fry  
After you’re well done, I will watch you die
-
Then you'll be sent to Hell, then the Lake of Fire
Forever there you'll burn, YOUR jESUS was a liar [3]

[1] And - Psalm 139:21
[2] Rev 13:8
[3] "Another jESUS" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/998361/are-you-a-christian/
Andrew Parker Dec 2013
There was this kid
May 3, 2011

There once was this kid who was afraid of airports.
He had many fears, but flying was not one of them.
- Just the airports.
He tried and he tried as hard as he could to prepare for his travel experiences,
but time after time, something would go wrong.
and then one day, he missed his friends and family soooo much,
that he decided he needed to conquer the big, mean airports.
and it was with that positive thinking, that he entered, sent away his suitcase, and boarded his flight,
all with no problems at all, what-so-ever.
The kid who was once afraid of airports, did it!
He accomplished his goal and made it home with time to spare, receiving tons of warm welcomes, hugs, and kisses.

Now That, is the story I would like to be able to tell after my adventure later today, coming back home.  :)
Ma Cherie Jan 2017
It's not the photographer,
alone,
who makes food look soooo good,
the Chef feeds him,
beautiful specimens,
each,
with a unique professional talent,
and taste is probably,
one of the most highly subjective things,
I know,
there are standards,
origins and roots,
personality traits and how you were raised,
excetera,
most of my siblings are amazing cooks too,
there's a certain way of looking,
at each flavor individually,
and then the combination,
knowing that it will work or not,
alone together with many,
just in your mind.
then your hands,
add some brain power,
a magic heart,
use your taste BUDS,
add an unexpected ingredient,
PRESTO - Magic Kitchen!!!

Putting the ingredients together,so that it will taste good for the masses,
not just for you,
even though it is for you too,
a lovely reward in sharing your skills,
you appreciate the depth of flavor,
more than anyone else could,
the love and thought in there,
not because they don't have the same level,
but because we are all so,
individual,

But the best chefs,
in my humble opinion,.
study preservatives,
and avoid 'em
study as much as they can,
sources,
herbs and cuts of meat,
oils and fats,
I know it matters to me,
where it comes from,
whether it's from VERMONT,
or around the world,
I want to know the story,
and how to cook it even,
super cheap stuff,
learn about cultural influence,
like familial influences,
America's Test Kitchen got it right,
know your BEST practices,

We know our tastes completely,
appreciate & know about others tastes as completely as possible,
they totally understand how it works,
it's how their mind ticks,
miraculously inventive,
with a few new things up their sleeves,
yeah takes on traditions,
TwIsTs they say,

Can be classy or catastrophic,
or somewhere in the middle,
and people aren't going to eat,
the catastrophic ones,
but if they know all the different recipes,
what can and cannot be substituted,
or added,
like the right herbs,
for example,
a dash of this,
after that,
or what could we leave out,
savory or sweet,
or both,
whether you can use this cheese or that one,
or many,
what are they like cold,
what are they like at room temperature, how should they be heated,
is it best to use it fresh,
what you can make on a dime,
how about a bottle of vinted wine?

I could go on but you get my point,

I put things together that no one else has,
true art,
and I think bingo!
Brilliant!
And I'm happy to report
that others believe this,
others that I trust,
feel that I can do this,
miraculously perfect,

No real failures,
because everything is learning,
and my mind is always yearning,
in the dollars I am earning,
a real blessing should be shared,
I am always eager,

To learn more unknown,
helpful,
ingredients to life.
Just thoughts ❤
Ma Cherie Jan 2017
Please poet don't you mind me,
if I always say the wrong thing,
it seems I've no control,
don't need for you to remind me
of the song that I must sing,
my heart has one desire,
in joyness that it will bring,
bring it... to you,

I have no real intentions,
but I got lotsa lotsa apprehensions,
no good ones and no, no, no bad,
ones...
when I do it  hey say they all "wrong",
well it makes me feel soooo so so so,
sad,
on a primrose path as I go on along
I wish we all
could just feel...
g L a D,
an sing the same same song,

Hey an I look very normal,
whatever that means - they say,
replaying my life,
into painful new scenes each an every,
day,

I might wear a bright side smile,
& seem just so happy to you,
I guess I look very young,
"they" say & hey maybe that is true,
so... WhAt???

It's not that hey I'm stupid,
cuz my IQ is pretty high,
an I ain't in love with cupid,
but it maybe part the realist reason,
in my question of how & why,
I hold out my waiting hands,
an lay my head down to cry,
an...
CRy,...
an cRy,
just...
I..,

Hey helpless is how I,
feel,
please forgive me,
please cuz I,
I feel like this is real,
it takes me away,
my mind there to steal,
I'm trying to pull away,
in the layers that I peel,

I always, I have wondered,
why I didn't quite fit in,
I felt that it a curse,
by some nasty hateful jinn,
it feels just like a top,
caught up endless in a spin,
but at least now hey I know,
it's not I'm  living here in sin,
seems I'm in this  battle,
with the odds that I won't win,
please I don't mean to beg,
but please won't you be a,
friend?
Can I,
yeah me?
Begin ..
Again?

I wonder yeah I wonder if I ever find my way,
home,
or if I'm cursed to walk on,
to walk on,
walk on here all alone,
no matter where I go,
no matter where I ever,
roam ..

.....it haunts me....
      it haunts me.....
It taunts me ....
this thing,

An whatever the case may be,
be it fate or maybe even that ol' desTiNy,
understanding my pain
will help me to be free, as they say,
please..just open your eyes,
please can't you just see?

Hey hey... an hey hey,
hey hey,
hey,
hey there,
any way,
which way?

I,
I try and I try,
I wish you,
to just help me...
to... understand,
but somehow soooo elusive,
it just s l i pppp ssss...right..
through... my ..empty....waiting ....
.....hand.

Cherie Nolan © 2016
Am I more than socially awkward? Ugh.... sometimes this is how it feels. I don't know about labels.... ❤
Nina Jun 2015
From her dark purple lips hangs a cigarette with pink smoke, and headphones with no music play a tune inside her head, and she paints bright red words loud as a FRAGILE stamp on her skin, and maybe on yours too, but only when you seem particularly insightful. She knows every word to every song of a band you’ve never heard of, and when they play and she’s driving the car, she will literally pull over and close her eyes to absorb the sound into her bloodstream, which seems to be composed of tiny bits of the galaxy and maple syrup and diary entries she never lets you read. She will kiss you in the movies, but only in parts heavily dripping of gore and violence, a metaphor she’s explained countless times but you will just never understand. She will paint her nails with your name sprawled across the *******, hold your hand in the gas station while shaming glossy magazine covers and everything that’s just soooo wrong with societies expectations of women today (despite the fact she’s somehow maniacally maintained her perfect body in the three weeks you’ve known her), and tell you that you’re her favorite season, a thought that your mind will spin around in its head like you ran around your 3rd grade classroom when your teacher was introducing concepts of matter and announced “now switch from a solid to a gas!”
But she will never tell you she loves you.
She will curse under her breath when you climb your courage without a harness to break the cold silence of the night, while laying on your back on the street under the stars. She will whisper “I’m so sorry” and speed off into the night, running with an elegant skirt she found in a thrift shop- made in 1956 or some other far-off year- flicking like a black-and-white movie behind her, the last thing you see before she disappears into the night, before she disappears from the audience’s cares and back into your mind.
She was everything I wanted to be for as long as I could remember, a terrible destruction of the human mind, a horrific enigma that perfection was so messed up that perfection itself could never learn how to love. Manic Pixie Dream Girl was my role model, Manic Pixie Dream Girl wore shirts from France hand-painted with Swedish fables, Manic Pixie Dream Girl knew every Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros song on the xylophone but only played with her eyes closed, Manic Pixie Dream Girl hated her sister and her parents and told everyone she was a mess they didn’t want to clean up. A disgusting idea that a woman only exists to make a man happy, to cure a man of his dark cloud of spinning inhibitions, and if she dares become real then she no longer is deemed entertaining. Manic Pixie Dream Girl was my goal, and with this in mind I embarked upon puberty with a music taste straight out of a Wes Anderson movie and teal eyeliner and the idea that being broken was desirable.
Until I actually was.
Manic Pixie Dream Boy refused to listen to the radio, wanted to be a famous actor, planned days to simply lay in bed all day, and smoked over a pack a day despite asthma so bad I worried every time we went up the stairs. Manic Pixie Dream Boy wore clothes with animals on them, but said he didn’t believe in giraffes, Manic Pixie Dream Boy hated school but loved to learn, Manic Pixie Dream Boy was perfect. Until he became the thing I so desired, telling me relationships weren’t for him and he couldn’t possibly ever fall in love, he was too broken.
But now I was Manic Pixie Dream Girl, wasn’t I? Broken, just as she was? Just as I had so desired to be when re-watching The (500) Days of Summer over and over again in middle school?
I hate you Manic Pixie Dream Girl. I hate telling the kind boy with the good grades and nice intentions that I couldn’t possibly love again, I detest the enigma I now am.
But when new boy with blue eyes darker than the Pacific coast tells me to lay down with him in the gravel and tells me that he hates the number 63 more than wheat-brewed beer, I say yes and give into manic dreams again.
nivek Oct 2014
nobody could possibly know
what its like
to live my life

so well intentioned advice
is totally
pointless

Thank
you
anyway
in 2012 i experienced an incident with a rifle. my friend spinned it around and hit me in the face. the hit was hard enough to break my nose and make me fly backwards and land on the back of my head.
after that i started having seizures. cluster seizures which mean seizures back to back. they have to be stopped by iv or i can go into status epilepticus meaning continued or back to back seizures that can **** people. there have been several times where my heart has stopped or i stopped breathing from it. its hard to live with. soooo many pills, and doctors, specialists to help diagnose me. just about a month ago i was diagnosed with tbi (traumatic brain injury) before i was diagnosed i was so upset with everything. my health my relationship, my family problems. it just piled up so i decided to numb myself with drugs and alcohol. i no longer can do that because the last time i did i woke up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. i have right hemisphere disfunction and it effects my motor skills, speech, memory, decision making, confusion, and at this point the doctors say that my memory and confusion is dementia. sometimes i try to tell myself i don't need help, im fine, i don't need anyone, or that the doctors made a mistake. but they didn't and that was proven to me today when i saw my eeg, and mri.  i have built up white matter in my brain. and it only gets worse . i can never regain anything ive lost but i can learn how deal with it and move on from now. i can never be independent in the part of just living alone. i would like to marry the man of my dreams but i don't think i want to put him through all of this. he would have to take care of me when i get sick, and i get sick often due to my weak immune system. one hit in the face and my whole body went out of whack. we also recently discovered that i have a bundle branch block in my heart which means it is a condition in which there's a delay or obstruction along the pathway that electrical impulses travel to make your heart beat. i have a dog that can smell my auras which are mild seizures like warnings that a big one will come. but he can only do so much . squeeze under my head and bark for help.
im sorry its long i just had to let it out and finally saying it out loud really hits me. like this is my life... from now on until i die i will deal with this.
EmilyRose Thorne Apr 2012
“And what do you think? Are there cliques in seventh grade?”
SHE
stands alone.
But not really.
“Absolutely.
There are cliques.
There are the Country-Club-Better-Than-You-Stuck-Up-Brats,
and the Future Fascists of America
and the group evvvverybody likes,
or at least,
that’s what they think,
who wouldn’t like them,
what’s not to like?
Y’wanna know what,
there are more cliques too,
the Invisibles,
two groups of Invisibles,
boys and girls broken up into Invisibles,
the Idiots, sittings with the CCBTYSTBs,
actually,
they’re sort of the same.
And there is exclusion,
there are hurt feelings,
there have been hurt feelings,
there is the hurting of feelings,
this is real,
this is honest,
this is now.”

Silence,
louder than HER words,
echoes
through the room,
bouncing off walls,
ringing in my ears.
No one applauds
as they have to the rest;
nobody applauds
nobody
applauds,
nobody
applauds
because nobody agrees
wants to admit it.
I do not applaud,
but I do.

“What are the weaknesses the seventh grade shares?”
Immaturity.
No common sense.
Lack of any sense of responsibility.
Idiocy.
SHE
contributes.
She says what my mind has created,
She understands
without me telling her.
But no,
they cannot listen to HER
with her true statements,
they don’t want to face the truth,
but they say,
We don’t want to look bad,
but they cannot handle the truth
is all.
“We are NOT immature,
we aren’t idiots,
we have common sense,
we’re responsible.”
Really.
Huh.
Never knew that.
I guess I’m just not up to par with my knowledge of the cliques.
Idiot.

“What are some strengths the seventh grade shares?”
SHE
has realized
that SHE is going to be ignored.
She does not
contribute.
But this time
I
do.
“For the most part,
most of us,
we are honest.”
They stare
with widened eyes.
She speaks.
Yep. I’m speaking.
I’ve been speaking.
Always.
What?
Oh.
Okay.
You don’t talk loud enough. We can’t ever hear you.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry, you liar.
You haven’t been listening.
But it’s okay.
I understand.
I’m used to that by now.
And now,
I can safely say,
so is SHE.

“Why would you go and say something like that?”
Staring with their penetrating eyes
that seek for the truth,
Why could you say what we needed to keep under wraps,
didn’t we tell you we don’t want to look bad?
“You haven’t been here
but a half a school year.
You really don’t know,
you
don’t
know,
so you can’t speak,
be quiet,
be
quiet,
be silent.”
Be silent
as the snow
on the coldest day of winter,
be silent
as the
clouds
after the biggest summer storm,
silent
as
the
rain
hitting
cold
hard
hearts.

*Thank you to Laurie Halse Andersen for coming up with that in her book Speak. (I created everything except for the Future Fascists of America bit.)


This poem symbolizes honesty and a lack of willingness to face the truth in middle school especially. On Thursday (March 22, 2012) there was a 7th grade meeting. The headmaster the seventh graders to get in groups that the homeroom teachers had put us in. My friend Cam and I wound up in the same group, which was pretty great. The headmaster asked us, “What are the strengths of the seventh grade?” “Weaknesses?” Someone said we tend to be “cliquey.” Mr. Chambers asked who agreed with her, and people said “no,” or “just a little” and someone said, “I think we have cliques but not the mean kind.” and Cam stood up and said that she absolutely thought we were very cliquey.
When I had SHE in capital letters in the poem I met that although Cam was speaking, I had thought the same exact words. When she is lowercase, it means that just Cam was speaking. When I said I don’t applaud, but I do, I mean that I didn’t physically applaud, but in my mind I applauded her and supported her every step of the way because she was brave enough to speak her mind and I am shy and reclusive.
“…I don’t give a nargle’s bonbon what they think of me,” is what she told me when I told her how brave she was. Before that, she had told the people who confronted her and called her a liar, “you’re just in denial.”
Soooo in a way, this is dedicated to Cam’s honesty!
Michael Pick May 2015
I'm so scared, what if you do check this email? And you read my email. What would you say? Or not say? Or react? Or you don't remember me or something. I don't know what I'm doing or thinking but I reread our facebook messages and I wish I could reread our msn messages and I have no idea why I did/do/want to do any of that.

What do I expect? No clue. None. I am leaving myself in the dark on this one.
Probably chalked me up as a bad experience in your life. Or something.
I bet you've got sweet digs to live in, a good job or a good school to go to, some good boyfriend. Great family. I should've said congrats on graduation. I'm really late now. And Happy birthday. How were you ever 14? How was I ever 14? Merry Christmas. It's late, but you said it to me one year and I didn't reply. So that's settled and even.

Facebook is frustrating. It shows all of your messages to me, yet only shows half or less of mine to you. Not that I need to see them. I was probably a ****. Well, I was a ****. I think I still probably am. No surprise. Is this creepy? I'm gonna guess you think it's creepy that I'd email you and search you up after so long. It's probably wrong. Probably a lot of hate. For all my talk I ever spewed out, that's not a feeling I have currently. I am so confused.

You'd probably be confused too if you opened this. Or read my message on tumblr. I saw your blog in my old bookmarks. Man, did that give me a start.

What are you doing in college? Are you in college? I remember you wanted to do cosmetology. I don't remember when that was, or if you still did. I'm sorry. You used to say you ****** at math and science, I hope you didn't take those. Or, conversely, I hope you did and you aced them both this year. Can you take both? I don't know how college works there.

Here's a random creepy thing I guess. Dreamed about you pretty much every night since I met you, even when we weren't talking, were fighting, you thought I didn't care, or since I... well, I guess I blocked you at one point. Whatever the hell was wrong with me. How'd I dream about you? What capacity? I dunno. Nothing weird. Don't worry. You were just always there. At least I don't think anything weird. I don't know.

You pretty much always said you thought things would get 'bad' between us again. Guess they did. My fault, I know, don't worry. I've never been a good with people kind of person, never in touch with feelings, always a little on the angry side. Do you consider it bad between us? Or were you just thankful to get rid of me? Whoops, that came out a little weird. I hope you know what I mean.

I miss texting you.

Who are you anymore? What do you like, what's your passion, who do you love, who loves you, where do you live, have you travelled? Do you believe in God? Soul mates? Public health care? Jesus, sorry, too many questions. Probably don't deserve answers.

I'm sorry that there's no flow to this. No topic or whatever. I used to brag that English was my strong point, but I guess it's not, afterall. Or at least when it comes to you. Right now. It's 4 am. What the hell.

I can cook pretty good now. You should try some of my food some time. I make a pretty good chicken dinner. Winner winner.

You always knew what I would say. Always. Good or bad. Did you expect this? Did you expect it to come earlier, or later, or never? Where did you think I would end up? Did you ever want to talk to me? Miss me? Want to be friends, at least? Did you hate me, despise me, wish you never met me? I'd understand if that one was true.

Do you think we've changed? I feel like we're still the same people we have been. Somewhere. I feel like we adapt but the right environment brings out... the old settings? I don't know. Jesus, we were so off again on again! Even as friends. I swear, that Katy Perry song, Hot and Cold, so described us. Or at least me. But I think we were both a little off.

If your boyfriend (or girlfriend) is reading this they are probably confused and I am sorry. Why do they read your emails? Do you actually have a girlfriend?

I'm sorry that I'm annoying.

I know, I always apologized too much.

First time we ever talked on FB was 2012? Holy crap. 3 years ago. August 20th. We must've known each other for a long time before though... I mean, we lost track of each other for awhile. Or I did. I don't know if you ever expected to talk to me again.

Real talk for a second. These messages hurt my heart. For a lot of reasons. And I don't know how I got into them, so I'm sorry. It's like... going to your childhood home and remembering where you had your first birthday cake, and the first time you fell down the stairs. Except, it wasn't the first time. Because there were so many times before that. There's just no picture albums for them. I don't know what I'm saying. God, what does any of this even mean?!

What a waste of time for you to read this, I bet. I'm so sorry. I should've stopped before I even started. Am I even gonna send it? I don't know. I'm scared. You hate me? Nah, you don't care enough by now to hate me. Why do I keep circling that? How do you feel? That question, why's it matter? After all this time? I am insignificant. Billions of stars light up skies and fade away and nobody remembers, so why would you.

I live in so much mediocrity right now. Settlement after settlement after settlement. I am so scared.

'Always allow for error. Never be optimistic for you will be betrayed by your own fantasies.'

I'm not even sure what that means, but I feel like I've lived to it far too much.

What is going on?

4:14 am.

I put you through so much. And I am so ashamed. And I hate saying 'so much' because it makes me sound like I think I was soooo important. When I don't. I don't think that I was. And I don't think that anybody who is as mentally and emotionally exhausting as I have been should ever be considered a large facet of someone's life, important, etc.

And jesus, the fact that that outlook applies to me and how I've been hurts my heart so much.

I don't think I have an identity anymore. I need to find who I was. I've been defining myself by the people I've surrounded myself with (ugh), the place I live (ugh) and my work. Work is the only positive that I have had in life, and my new job, though well paying, is a drain on my emotions and my optimism. Forever settling for mediocrity. The second best lifestyle available. Of course, perhaps the best lifestyle isn't available. Or perhaps this is the best I can get. Maybe this isn't even close to the best I can get. I don't know. Life swallows me.

I am so sorry for coming back. I'm probably going to email you again. I'm sorry for that, too. I just need something. And seeing your email in my list, it felt like that was it. You don't have to respond, I guess. God, I wish you did, but I am so afraid.

I'm sorry.
I'm not sure how this came about
K-ROB Jun 2020
She says I’m just a distraction (referring to herself)
This is simply not true
If I ever had you in my life I’d make **** sure to never lose you!
I’d do anything in my power to make all of your dreams come true!

It makes me happy to think of breathing your air
And it kills me that someone else gets to, just seems unfair!
We argue because passion is soooo strong
When we are not seeing eye to eye, we both say we don’t care..
We distance ourselves when it becomes too much to bare!

Fatal Attraction... Some Say

I dream of feeling your embrace after a long day
I’d truly sit and listen to every word you had to say!
I just want to hear about your day!
We have gone years without as much as a greeting
But when we do meet, my heart can’t stop beating
Out of my chest... so many thoughts..
Now I’m a MESS
What are you thinking? No clue...
Do I have to guess???

Fatal Attraction ... some say

Doesn’t really matter how it started
I’m sure we’re both stronger for it now,
at this Point!
You say it’s hard to build something that starts out like that
0 to 60 in 2 seconds flat!
You say you fee like you just walked out of the twilight zone
What does that even mean? Is your mind blown?! 🤯

I’ve never loved anyone how I loved you!
You already used to help when I was feeling blue
Just talking to you instantly puts me in a better mood
And when I can’t I feel like I’m about to come unglued

Fatal Attraction... Some Say

How many times do we try to walk away?!
But in the end we will never stray

It doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks
In life, people judge no matter what
Like you are the patient and they are your shrink

that REALLY stinks!!! 😷

But sometimes I think “they” are ALL wrong?!
We would build together, our bond is soooo  strong 💪

Be honest with yourself (for a change)
Please come back to me and stay
It’s always been you!

My one ☝️ true love 💕
You love me and I love you more!
Why don’t you think we deserve each other... we would NEVER get bored

Fatal Attraction, some say...

She’s my light, my sun ☀️, my moon 🌚
Makes me want to shine bright 💡

But she’s happy being “content”
I was too, until we met
Or hung out I should say
Before that one night I didn’t even know your name

Fatal Attraction? ...
No, SOULMATE

Please give me a chance,
Let’s have our 1st date!!!
Written Jan 2018, edited today
Jonny Angel Dec 2013
I flow into you darling,
like a tidal wave,
I’m out-of-control,
steaming downhill
locomotive-style!

O your gentleness,
your sweet sweet tenderness!
It makes me,
it makes me
feel soooo emotive,
I’m on fire!

My fingers imagine you
dipped in creamy-chocolate,
pounding keys,
sending you kisses,
tasting your delights,
mmmmmm, soooo dreamy!

Our heart’s are in the right place,
but it feels like
we’re in the wrong time.

I need to buy myself a Harley,
run free, roll west,
toward the setting sun.
Tilly Nov 2013
Curtains up
NOW OWN
~IT~

AS IF
  you're the King
   of the whole
    **** stage  

when

you're
really
  just another
player

acting out
for those
cheap seats
you survey

Where else
****
HERE

would
THEY
get to see
such a
[defamation]
-free play?"

(laughing)

"Best you
throw some sweets.

*
Indulge them


...
I'd say!
...I'd say!"


The Evil Queen 
smirks
&
a knife glints in her hand

Is
she
creeping
up

Behind You?
(or... does she need a real man?)


Ahhhh!!

    you see...

she's
exhausted
A-LADD-IN
& she knows
where to find you..

(evil laughter)

Ohhhh!

It's
just as well
you're in costume
...now  remember
your lines


"Don't props (& illusions) make a jolly good night!"

and baby, *WOW!


you look
Oh! Soooo cute
in those tights!

                                  *and with a sweep of the stage, the smirking Queen exits >               right


This stage
is all yours now

So Buttons...    take a bow
(us Brits love an underdog in a fight)

... Make your bow deep
~with a flourish of resplendence~
that captures their hearts

try more than That wiggle
-and a lot more-
than one dance!

                       To do it well...                                                          ­              
get a catchphrase

(which we'll ALL lurvey darlink from the start)

Believe me,
is good

Always
is
    another...

try
the one
    you've used in  
   rehearsals with the
  Stepsisters
- all dragged up-
looking
L
   O      
       V      U
          E            G
               L       L      
                                                 Y              (like their mother)

                                                      
 ­                                   cough                       ­ 
                        
                                **** it..
                               Everyone chokes
                               on the dry ice that swirls!

                     The audience ponders....

WHO's the boys ?

THAT's... a... girl ?!  

 
                            &
                      in
                 the
               low
             glow   
            they'll see      
    Cinders singing
of loves' sweet melody,
  those s l o w shoe shuffles    
        softly sliding across their        
                                             t
                                                   r
                                 ­                        a
                                                               ­ p
                                                              ­                             door hearts  
Laughing & crying along through
each emotion of the tattered  
sweet princess, who     
         simply hasn't had        
                     a Prince in her...                
    winks
                           sights             
                                  (YET!)  
       
then
  Act II ends
with

a Flash!
&
a Bang!


 
They all lived  
ever after...
      
Cinders' happy?

*THE END
Enjoying the merry-men-t of Pant-Oh!
;)
Pantomine...Traditionally performed from Christmas ' til mid January, with family audiences.

A popular form of British theatre, incorporating song, dance, buffoonery, slapstick, cross-dressing, in-jokes, topical references, audience participation, and mild ****** innuendo.

SHE
ditches
           HIS crown &    
            shashy's away    
             with a
           fabulously
               well        
              practised        
                             courtesan                   
                     sway
                         .

(written, as part of the Yule-tired man series in December 2012)
Angel Groman Mar 2013
I'm so sorry for all of the mistakes I've made baby, I am so sorry I'm not perfect and I really hope you can forgive me, I'm so sorry for my jealousy issues and I promise I will work on them for us baby, because I want this relationship to last forever, and I just love you soooo much and can't wait to hold you in my arms forever and always have you!! <999999999 XOXOXOXOXOXO :)

— The End —