"smelliest" poems
On My Mind
This is what's going on in my mind,
not sure to be mean or kind.
I could amaze you with a riddle,
maybe play with my wooden fiddle.
Chop people into tiny bits,
buy a stripper and see her ****
Does love even really exist,
will **** ooze from my cyst.
Wisdom I could dazzle,
take a shower and forget the towel.
Make you laugh, make you smile,
that's just my kind of style.
How much I hate your guts,
Dickie Roberts said nucking futs.
Are any of us really even here,
maybe face myself a fear.
Sing you a groovy song,
smoke from a huge ****
Go dance the night away,
check out my hips as they sway.
How I hate to wipe my ***
dogs always have the smelliest gas.
Drink shots til I puke,
always listen to Jesse Duke.
Am I alive or am I dead,
writing naked in my bed.
Now you see how my mind works,
if not, you're just stupid jerks.
So many thoughts, I can't even mention,
but I think by now I have your attention.
Jan 19, 2014
Jan 19, 2014 at 2:12 AM UTC
Do pigs know they are the ugliest,
dirtiest,
smelliest
most repulsive animal on the farm?
They must not,
because otherwise
how would they gain the strength
to wake up each morning
and walk about the farm
and eat slop?
They must not know how ugly they are,
otherwise they would lock themselves away.
I wish I were as ignorant as a pig.
Dec 11, 2014
Dec 11, 2014 at 7:19 PM UTC
It was back in his hey day
when elves used to be nimble
Sitting all day listening to stuff
Sat on a shiny silver thimble.
They were their bar stools at the bar
drinking dandelion beer till drunk
It was a powerful brew that blew their socks off
Revealing their toes that really stunk.
Feet washing was not their thing
Dandelion beer was more their cup of tea
They had to wait till the peas dropped
to have a nice bath in the pod of the pea.
You can imagine elves in a line at the bar
All taking their first swig of the beer
They pow, their socks would all shoot off
a picture that to you and me is most queer.
Then the stench of smelly, ***** feet
Giggling was the order then of the day.
They would see who had the smelliest toes
Sniffing and giggling along the way.
The one that won had to down a jug
of the powerful dandelion beer with froth
Then roll the victor under the table to sleep
and cover him up with the tablecloth.
The little winner with stinky feet
snoring while the others giggled.
Then with daisies stuck to the side of his face
The drunken victor wriggled.
"Roll me home, will you, my chaps, roll me home"
They did as they were told and parked him by a tree
to steady himself when asleep they thought.
On returning ten hours later, he had rolled free.
He was slumped under a mushroom, upside down
He had obviously been singing his heart out.
On went his socks up he stood sort of upright
Tottered off to see what the fuss was about.
He did not get very far, he tripped over a leaf
His eyes closed shut and off he slept till sober
Which was a day or three, this drunken elf
certainly had a day definitely to remember.
Oct 18, 2014
Oct 18, 2014 at 1:17 AM UTC
ok
it was a heated race, and
man I mean
it was broiling,
a 100 meter dash
turned into
a 400 meter relay
we barely stopped to strip,
but our feet were
like a thousand feet away
requiring two hands
that really wanted to be
otherwise occupied,
so to busy to remove
when we were good,
when we were done,
our dark socks were
looking at us,
like a couple of
two eyed voyeurs
eww, she said, I
hate
forgetting to take them off
replied
with this poem,
earning me a snack of a smack on the head
replied
by chasing my screaming ny woman
throughout the entire house,
my choice weapon,
puppet hands inside my smelliest,
yes,
those insane black socks
by god,
she was fast,
till she hid in the shower,
and trapped,
in our laughter,
we did not
come out for
one hour
not the end
Aug 12, 2017
Aug 12, 2017 at 7:21 AM UTC
In my younger years I was in darkness
yet trying to hide from it. I kept my hair short and my body *****
I dressed like a boy and tried my best to be the smelliest kid.
At night in my room before bed
I would sit and look at those parts of my body.
Those parts I wished I didn’t have.
I would then take my tiny little blade out of my tiny little tin
And I would cut.
I would cut tiny little patches of tiny little cuts
All over those parts of my body
If it's ****** and gross and I’m ***** and ugly
Then why does he return every night
Jul 17, 2019
Jul 17, 2019 at 2:01 PM UTC