Me on the left and you on the right
the way we laid our bodies the start of the night.

My head on two pillows as yours lay on one
tired from the day and all we had done.

One arm under pillow, the other kept you warm
I'd pull you in close during thunder and storm.

I still remember the sweet scent of your hair
As we closed our eyes and I held you for prayer.

The rise and fall of breath from your chest
would remind me of that day that God had blessed.

Your face would go soft and lips would yawn
You'd fall asleep with the television still on.

Middle of the night your house stayed warm
The fan on high was always the norm.

I'd stolen the blanket and kicked down the sheet
The only pillow you had now lay at your feet.

Sometimes I'd wake while there you still lay
I'd creep to your bedside and kneel as to pray.

I would lean in close as if to steal a kiss
These moments of affection are the ones that I miss.

I'd sit and watch while you lay there and snore
I'd sometimes fall asleep with my head on the floor.

You always thought you slept without peep
Instead of counting them you baa'd like a sheep.

Your body lay still 'cept for the rise and fall
Of your beautiful body that lay there in sprawl.

But the most memorable part of those sleepless nights
Wasn't the snoring, the prayer or absence of lights-

It was the way in which your eyes would flicker
Beneath lid and lash I would try not to snicker.

To me it was funny to just watch them move
As if they were dancers stepping to groove.

I could only guess what your mind would dream
Maybe thoughts of our future and how it would seem.

Would it be an uphill battle, a test for all time?,
Or simply steps in a stairwell that together we'd climb.

Most of the mornings you'd wake with a smile
And some you slept in for at least a little while.

But now these memories are just written in line
And filed in a cabinet in the back of my mind.

Memory of you sleeping, snoring, eyes wide shut
Now my heart beating, bleeding, crimson and cut.

Your eyelids would flutter as your eyes would dance
And I'd pray to God to just give me the chance-

To fix what I'd done and to right the wrong
Of the poor choices that I'd hidden for oh so long.

These are the thoughts I now remember the most
the memories in my heart I still hold so close.

Times I sat by your side as night was still grey
All through the morning before dark turned to day.

I'd ask Him to bless this love I'd forsaken
Taken for granted and stole for the taking.

Unfortunately I received a different kind of answer
but you will always remain my eyelid dancer.

You see more of me,
in the hours you’re asleep;
than when you’re ready.

instead you release,
all the while i relieve,
and ask for nothing,
far and few in between .

out of sight,
out of mind,
but return we shall,
in your dreams you believe.

like a memory to retrieve,
faithful; loyal,
ready to seize,
if i, you, we please.

Her brother's
vinegar-soaked-oven-baked
                  
conker

conquering all other

conkers.

The moment held on a a string
before swinging to collision

like a cartoon
pOW!wOW!baMMM!

She cuts her chestnut
carefully in two.

The popped out conker
...her baby

in its greeny spiky
pram.

She talks to it.
Kisses it.

"Shhhh...baby a sleeep!"

Her brother's marble
a blue and cold world

propelled by a swift deft flick
of a bitten-to-the- quick thumb

the little blue world inches
relentlessly  towards

scattering all be-
-fore it:

when worlds
collide.

A solar system
destroyed.

He now
the conquerer of conquerers.

She
places her marble

gently in her other
spiky green pram

like she's rearing
an alien.

She's got two babies.
One a conker...the other a marble.

She takes good care
of both of them.

Worries about
their well being.

Loving them for what
...they are.

She watches the world
through the eye of the marble

a tiny blue universe
held in her palm.

it was a tuesday afternoon, in the middle of june,
this barternder and blue moon will surely be my demise..
Its become a routine, every week im a fiend but suddenly to my surprise...

A woman walked in standing at 5'4, seeemingly hungover and beat.
Eyeliner & lipstick fading..lookin as if she couldnt find sleeep,
her hair has half *****, half curly and partly braided.
she sat on the stool next to me partly *** what i stated...
I said "welcome! take a seat, this is the sober section, besides. all the good seats are taken".
She smiled, more like a smirk, then proceeded to sit, at first oddly looking a bit shaken..

i noticed she was young, pobably barely 21, and she had a tattoo on her back, as she reached for her purse...
Clearly i didnt kno her origin, but an idea i was formin, especially when her art read, 'beauty is a curse'...
Clearly she was gorgeous. Green eyes with a brown complexion..
I asked her in awe which town she was sent from?..

She said she was from the bay..
grew up in her mommas house but now shes living with her bae,
I said oh word, whos the lucky man who gets to keep you???.
She said God......
*** she doesnt need to mess with people.

what brings her here,?
in this bar by the pier,
where theres something in the beer, making normal people fear.

She said she came to spread the word of God....
immediately i figure shes a fraud.

Hows a 'martini, piercing on her lip, tattooed from her back to her hip,
looking like she wont tip....'
typa girl claiming to be holy?

She smiled, more like smirk, and whispered,........
you dont even know me.

And proceeded to say she came in this bar because there was a presence of a demon in disguise..

I laughed are u sure it isn't just u?
She held up a mirror. I saw a demon in my eyes.





-afj

violent You are like a biggest sound
cloyingly honeyed on my mound of massed
and singing chords
                                         (you are a rose most thorned and beautiful
    i clutch idiosyncratically
strangled scarlet petals bursting
                     a foal i;ve nursed with tremoring pits of bold
gangling and accurate stench

             violent you're a tedium
a lush and decaying growth
         so lightly cancering my cell
and I breath your daily blood                and i whimper first glowering fist

      my hand to take that penitent shape
                                                                            

                and i"ll whisper it



to their chins:
                                   they who art most a mortal folly
as to wade in my
                                        quaking presence


         andi


'              
           ;ll



     sleeep               them                           quickly rushing rushing



               oBliviOn)

Sleep, where for art thou,
Sleeep, I need you now.
Sleeeep, let me feel you,
Sleeeeep, I hear your coo.
Sleeeeeep, caress my face,
Sleeeeeeep, I feel your embrace.
Sleeeeeeeeep, closer you come.
Sleeeeeeeeeep, I am numb.

lay

down                                                 right nex
t
       o

there       sleep                                                                      well

and sleeep tightttttttt
dream soft
dream
brig
                    ht

words ****                             words bite                        

time flies
time hurts

your Hair
your per
fect
face
like  a            sun
shining
some
where

wor
ds
am
i am
i know
to seed the
farm
and let the bodies
let them go
and let me go
i'll be right                there
to see it through and throw my hands right through your hair andc cry out yes and hold you close and put your lips right on my mouth
and eject
...
hold
me
close
...
and
go
away
i
now

i'm
lonely
on
vicarious
envy
you­
only

you only you only you only you only  you only  you only  you only  you only  you only  
love me
...

I will take you
to bed with me
drink

I will gulp you
down at once
drink

I hope you do
your job tonight
drink

SHE PLAYS WHAT SHE PLAYS

Her brother's
vinegar-soaked-oven-baked
                  
conker

conquering all other

conkers.

The moment held on a a string
before swinging to collision

like a cartoon
pOW!wOW!baMMM!

She cuts her chestnut
carefully in two.

The popped-out-conker
...her baby

in its greeny spiky
pram.

She talks to it.
Kisses it.

"Shhhh...baby a sleeep!"

Her brother's marble
a blue and cold world

propelled by a swift deft flick
of a bitten-to-the- quick thumb

the little blue world inches
relentlessly  towards

scattering all be-
-fore it:

when worlds
collide.

A solar system
destroyed.

He now
the conquerer of conquerers.

She
places her marble

gently in her other
spiky green pram

like she's rearing
an alien.

She's got two babies.
One a conker...the other a marble.

She takes good care
of both of them.

Worries about
their well being.

Loving them for what
...they are.

She watches the world
through the eye of the marble

a tiny blue universe
held in her palm.

How do
I start to love myself
Because I just don’t feel
That I love myself
Enough
How do  I feel
About the winter
I don’t like that at
All
Because it is allso
Very cold
And I just can’t take
The cold
How do
I dress warm for the winter
I wear my long john’s
Top amd bottom
The long john’s
Keeps my body warm
I also wear my fanel shirt
That i  always wear that
During the winter
How do
I sleep at
Not very good
I only sleep at night
A few hours
Because I have broken sleeep
Due to sleep apnea
How do
I wake up in the mornings
I wake up feeling tire
In the mornings
But I can’t go back to
Bed
Because I won’t sleep
At night
How do
I treat my friends
I treat my friends
Well
I have some respect
For my friends
I respect there race and
Religion
And they also respect my
Race and religion

Teachers teach
Professors professors

Now I'm neither
I just guess

For my sons
happiness

Sleeep till moonlight
Beauty bless