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"situations" poems
ugly men burning their bay leaves in pots of static gardens underneath all this cement your past is looking at you indecently so change the words around you you can shift their meaning its all a game and no-one's winning your tired emotions accent your poetry umbrellas are scars that carry symphonies in their hearts you held my hand as we welcomed god back into our skylines her face is as familiar as the stars we originated from with ulcers open in quiet hurting your youth are wordless and distrustful of angst ridden authority in unsuspecting situations love’s vacation is ending her wedding gown got quite ***** since she literally spent her entire honeymoon wandering idly into banks of muddy water humanity is worthy of justice and sweaty romance i breathe your flesh into my bottle and we take boundless walks upon the clouds that straddle mountains, graveyards and cemeteries fresh from wading in the rice fields i peeled you a ripe banana under pressure your sweater came off and revealed a perfect metric for us to emulate your eye sockets are two umbilical chords and your voice is a curved sword that cuts through fear like the moon slices through the sky i have held all of this inside for far too long and now it comes shattering forth spilling itself over every page every letter an escapade almost as long as an Eskimo's pilgrimage to safety
0
Feb 26, 2018
Feb 26, 2018 at 11:36 PM UTC
A perfect metric
i have slept restlessly for  nights now, reliving the events that have conjured within the past 72 hours. i think to myself, how would anyone want to bring another into this world knowing the pain they will endure? yes. you will feel pain, indescribable, chest filling, body aching pain from your head to your toes. i wont try to paint a perfect picture of this world and let you down. hating me every moment for the things i never said. you will be beaten down by others, torn away from the connection you thought you had. you will sit in a coffee shop alone, biting your lip with anxiety, and he will call you in the dead of night pleading for you to keep him company once more. you will miss the way you looked at the world, with innocence and purity, reliving every moment of suffering and rewriting its pages. you will invest your heart in people, things that will only let you down. but sweet child this suffering that you feel will be soon over. it is how you overcome these situations of awkward confrontation and scandalous betrayal. because one day a bee will buzz past you and you will jump up and down like a child again, tugging on the end of your own dress, smiling. you will laugh once again because the perpetual love you feel from those who surround you with positive energy will fill the gaping hole of disappointment that the world has so willingly handed you. like i said, i will not paint a perfect picture for you, because every artist has their flaws, but they cover them oh so well. and you should never have to carry that kind of burden. love always, me
0
Nov 29, 2016
Nov 29, 2016 at 8:07 PM UTC
to my future daughter
i have slept restlessly for  nights now, reliving the events that have conjured within the past 72 hours. i think to myself, how would anyone want to bring another into this world knowing the pain they will endure? yes. you will feel pain, indescribable, chest filling, body aching pain from your head to your toes. i wont try to paint a perfect picture of this world and let you down. hating me every moment for the things i never said. you will be beaten down by others, torn away from the connection you thought you had. you will sit in a coffee shop alone, biting your lip with anxiety, and he will call you in the dead of night pleading for you to keep him company once more. you will miss the way you looked at the world, with innocence and purity, reliving every moment of suffering and rewriting its pages. you will invest your heart in people, things that will only let you down. but sweet child this suffering that you feel will be soon over. it is how you overcome these situations of awkward confrontation and scandalous betrayal. because one day a bee will buzz past you and you will jump up and down like a child again, tugging on the end of your own dress, smiling. you will laugh once again because the perpetual love you feel from those who surround you with positive energy will fill the gaping hole of disappointment that the world has so willingly handed you. like i said, i will not paint a perfect picture for you, because every artist has their flaws, but they cover them oh so well. and you should never have to carry that kind of burden. love always, me
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3
Sunshine comes in many forms.     -  -  -  -  -  - That which comes up in the morning and goes down at night. And little girls who are Grandma's De-light.     -  -  -  -  -  - She rises in the morning sometimes cloudy, sometimes bright, but always Grandma's De-light.     -  -  -  -  -  - Sometimes she rains tears torrential they may pour but comforted by the voice of the One who loves her so.     -  -  -  -  -  - Sometimes she shines bright the warmth of hugs and smiles. Love overflowing in the heart, it's all Grandma's De-light.     -  -  -  -  -  - Love is forever and always whether its stormy or bright. Love covers all situations For all is Grandma's De-light.     -  -  -  -  -  - Sunshine's  Eyes and Smiles Light up the world around her. Creating more smiles in their eyes when first they did find her     -  -  -  -  -  - When Grandma's day is gloomy Sunshine arrives with much to say with happy stories, hugs and smiles to brighten up the cloudiest day.     -  -  -  -  -  - When Sunshine goes to bed it usually can be said Sunshine's eyes cease to gleam when energy's gone, time to dream.     -  -  -  -  -  - Eyes close and all is well in Sunshine Land I do tell. Grandma's De-light in peaceful sleep The day is over, it will keep.     -  -  -  -  -  - She is after all Grandma's Sunshine. 11-01-2014 (c) John Stevens
0
Nov 2, 2014
Nov 2, 2014 at 5:22 PM UTC
Grandma's Sunshine
I'm struggling with what it means to be a woman. Does it mean that I am always in competition to be the top of my species? Does it mean that I need to be perfect without a single curve out of line in order to find love? Does it mean that I am only defined when owned by a man? Does it mean that I can only find purpose in childbirth? Does it mean that I will forever live in the shadow of men? Does it mean that I am an object invented solely for a man's pleasure? Does it mean that I'm forced to confine to gender roles and live in someone else's story? Does it mean that I'm supposed to accept it when I'm harassed from across the street? Does it mean that I'm supposed to lie there silent when he puts his hands up my skirt? Does it mean that I am only worth 77 cents to a man’s dollar? Does it mean that I am defined by my looks rather than my intelligence? Does it mean that I will never be capable of holding a major position of power due to my mood swings? Does it mean that I am defined by how many men I have had *** with? Or does it mean something else entirely. It's difficult learning to love being a woman. Obvious and damaging disadvantages are visible to observers. We are regarded as second best, property of our man. We are erased from history, our pain is minimized and forgotten. We are oppressed and have to fight for our rights. We are afraid to walk the streets at night, afraid for our lives. We are harassed without care and without penalty. We are ***** and murdered for refusing proposals. We are expected to live on the sidelines as a housewife whose only priority should be her children. We are expected to keep quiet in situations of domestic abuse. We are expected to be perfect, and pretty, fresh for a man’s picking. We can’t even advocate for our own equality without being demonized. There are times where I wish I wasn’t a woman. Being a woman comes with innumerable expectations, pressures, and responsibilities. My existence is not defined by a man, or by the patriarchal expectations that have been placed on me. I am breaking free of my confinements and I’m not afraid to admit that, I'm struggling with what it means to be a woman. And that's okay. //sarahmann
0
Mar 25, 2018
Mar 25, 2018 at 3:10 AM UTC
What It Means to Be A Woman
I'm struggling with what it means to be a woman. Does it mean that I am always in competition to be the top of my species? Does it mean that I need to be perfect without a single curve out of line in order to find love? Does it mean that I am only defined when owned by a man? Does it mean that I can only find purpose in childbirth? Does it mean that I will forever live in the shadow of men? Does it mean that I am an object invented solely for a man's pleasure? Does it mean that I'm forced to confine to gender roles and live in someone else's story? Does it mean that I'm supposed to accept it when I'm harassed from across the street? Does it mean that I'm supposed to lie there silent when he puts his hands up my skirt? Does it mean that I am only worth 77 cents to a man’s dollar? Does it mean that I am defined by my looks rather than my intelligence? Does it mean that I will never be capable of holding a major position of power due to my mood swings? Does it mean that I am defined by how many men I have had *** with? Or does it mean something else entirely. It's difficult learning to love being a woman. Obvious and damaging disadvantages are visible to observers. We are regarded as second best, property of our man. We are erased from history, our pain is minimized and forgotten. We are oppressed and have to fight for our rights. We are afraid to walk the streets at night, afraid for our lives. We are harassed without care and without penalty. We are ***** and murdered for refusing proposals. We are expected to live on the sidelines as a housewife whose only priority should be her children. We are expected to keep quiet in situations of domestic abuse. We are expected to be perfect, and pretty, fresh for a man’s picking. We can’t even advocate for our own equality without being demonized. There are times where I wish I wasn’t a woman. Being a woman comes with innumerable expectations, pressures, and responsibilities. My existence is not defined by a man, or by the patriarchal expectations that have been placed on me. I am breaking free of my confinements and I’m not afraid to admit that, I'm struggling with what it means to be a woman. And that's okay. //sarahmann
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33
A rose is a rose, No matter where it grows. Some saw thorns, Beauty some chose. Criticized by some, Valued by loads; People's opinions, You can't change them by force. Perfection is desired, Even if it's freestyle prose! Our lives might be cumbersome, Let's accept the challenges they pose; There's a bit of stardust in us all, No matter hellish situations might come how close, because, a rose is a rose.
0
Mar 29, 2016
Mar 29, 2016 at 12:45 PM UTC
A Rose is a Rose
Capricorns, Capricorns are ruled and schooled by the planet Saturn, Saturn, Saturn. A bandit with a similar pattern, pattern, pattern. Capricorns, Capricorns are brethren from a legion; a legion of an atmosphere of the southern-hemisphere; in the equatorial region. At an angle, angle, angle; Capricorns, Capricorns are angels of Aquarius and Sagittarius. They’re boisterous, courageous, contagious, glamorous, prestigious, rebellious, various and victorious-goats, goats, goats! Capricorns, Capricorns cope, devote, note and quote, quote, quote. They’re ambitions with superstitions and various missions, missions, missions! They’re novelties and poverties, revelations and revolutionaries, revolutionaries, revolutionaries. Capricorns, Capricorns are theories and visionaries, visionaries, visionaries. They’re objects, projects and rejects. They’re leaders and readers that are poetically, negatively or positively dictatorial and doctorial!  Some are historical, optical, political and radical; authentic, eccentric, neurotic, poetic, theoretic, theoretic, theoretic. Unicorns, Unicorns are biblical and mythical, mythical, mythical; they’re ****** exotic, iconic, ironic, magic, nostalgic creatures, creatures, creatures. Their features resembling a horse of course, of course. Furthermore, they’re fierce and a force. They’re a breed and creed of desire, fire and perspire, perspire, perspire, perspire! They’re viral, viral, viral! This partial, sworn steed; born awesome, awesome, awesome and too blossom, blossom, blossom. Unicorn’s spiral, crescent horn usually projecting and protruding from their foreheads. Rough and tough enough too pierce, pierce, pierce! Unicorns, Unicorns are defendants, independents and pendants. Hark! Hark! Hark! They’re brilliant and resilient sparks, sparks, sparks! They’re told as bold, old art, from the heart, from the start. Unicorns, Unicorns are fillers and pillars of guide, pride and stride, stride, stride. They’re along for the long, long, long ride... Unicorns, Unicorns are strong, strong, strong! Some as a song, song, song, some throng, throng, throng, some wrong, wrong, wrong. As a child, child, child; wild, wild, wild! Unicorns, Unicorns overwhelm, overwhelm, overwhelm. Their domicile realm, apparently, inherently and originally belonging from India; alleluia, alleluia for India, India, India! Capricorns and Unicorns; two different creations. Capricorns and Unicorns; two different relations. Capricorns and Unicorns; two different situations and superstitions. They’re rainbows that glow, know and show. They’re of borrow, of sorrow and of our tomorrow.
0
Mar 29, 2012
Mar 29, 2012 at 9:12 PM UTC
POEM ENTITLED: “CAPRICORNS AND UNICORNS”
Capricorns, Capricorns are ruled and schooled by the planet Saturn, Saturn, Saturn. A bandit with a similar pattern, pattern, pattern. Capricorns, Capricorns are brethren from a legion; a legion of an atmosphere of the southern-hemisphere; in the equatorial region. At an angle, angle, angle; Capricorns, Capricorns are angels of Aquarius and Sagittarius. They’re boisterous, courageous, contagious, glamorous, prestigious, rebellious, various and victorious-goats, goats, goats! Capricorns, Capricorns cope, devote, note and quote, quote, quote. They’re ambitions with superstitions and various missions, missions, missions! They’re novelties and poverties, revelations and revolutionaries, revolutionaries, revolutionaries. Capricorns, Capricorns are theories and visionaries, visionaries, visionaries. They’re objects, projects and rejects. They’re leaders and readers that are poetically, negatively or positively dictatorial and doctorial!  Some are historical, optical, political and radical; authentic, eccentric, neurotic, poetic, theoretic, theoretic, theoretic. Unicorns, Unicorns are biblical and mythical, mythical, mythical; they’re ****** exotic, iconic, ironic, magic, nostalgic creatures, creatures, creatures. Their features resembling a horse of course, of course. Furthermore, they’re fierce and a force. They’re a breed and creed of desire, fire and perspire, perspire, perspire, perspire! They’re viral, viral, viral! This partial, sworn steed; born awesome, awesome, awesome and too blossom, blossom, blossom. Unicorn’s spiral, crescent horn usually projecting and protruding from their foreheads. Rough and tough enough too pierce, pierce, pierce! Unicorns, Unicorns are defendants, independents and pendants. Hark! Hark! Hark! They’re brilliant and resilient sparks, sparks, sparks! They’re told as bold, old art, from the heart, from the start. Unicorns, Unicorns are fillers and pillars of guide, pride and stride, stride, stride. They’re along for the long, long, long ride... Unicorns, Unicorns are strong, strong, strong! Some as a song, song, song, some throng, throng, throng, some wrong, wrong, wrong. As a child, child, child; wild, wild, wild! Unicorns, Unicorns overwhelm, overwhelm, overwhelm. Their domicile realm, apparently, inherently and originally belonging from India; alleluia, alleluia for India, India, India! Capricorns and Unicorns; two different creations. Capricorns and Unicorns; two different relations. Capricorns and Unicorns; two different situations and superstitions. They’re rainbows that glow, know and show. They’re of borrow, of sorrow and of our tomorrow.
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21
I am a stranger to myself. I do not know how to be gentle, compassionate, or loving, to any part of myself. I have always been able to present myself well in most public situations, be it work, school, parental obligations, parties. I can be calm and level-headed. I am able to problem solve in logical and intelligent ways. I can be humorous and glamorous when need be. But it seems as though that power and confidence, that grace and strength, is only a mask. I now have more days when that mask feels heavy. And when I lack the strength to put it on, I have to hide myself. And I’ve been hiding a lot lately. I hid yesterday. I am hiding today. I hear the words of care that others speak, but they don’t feel real to me. Sometimes I can accept their words while knowing that they do not realize that I am a disgusting person who deserves to be treated badly. They see what I want them to see. I watch them interact with the humorous Nita, the intelligent Nita, and I watch it all from the outside. I want so much more for myself. Who is this Nita that is respected by so many? I want to be loved and to feel love. I want to be free from the father and the host body. I desperately wish to be free from them, and not just in a surface way. I want them out of me forever. My soul cries out for kindness and gentleness and yet when it is offered I cannot accept it. I want to be respected and loved and yet I do not know how to love or respect myself. I know how to pretend. I wrote the book on how to hide your feelings. I know how to smile, I know how to laugh. I know that I have been given gifts but I don’t know how to use them. And the ones who were abused, ***** assaulted, degraded… they are afraid to dream that there is more to life than this. They cannot fathom that there exists a world where they can be loved in a gentle way, touched in a way that does not hurt. They stopped dreaming a long time ago. I want to stop fighting so hard, so much of the time...fighting myself, the therapist the fighting stubborn one just comes out in full-force at any perceived threat and I want her to stop fighting when there is no reason to fight. I want to learn to trust in myself and others. I want the chaos and confusion inside my mind to clear and I want some sense of cohesiveness and togetherness inside of me. I want to believe that there is more to life than pretending behind an illusion of imaginary togetherness... more than just feeling ashamed and degraded. I want to trust that I am allowed to heal. I want to believe that I am worth the time and the effort it is taking, and the pain I endure every day. I want to believe that I am not what they said I am, that real love actually exists, and that I am worthy of receiving it. And even as I write this, there is that voice inside speaking to me, "But what if you're not worthy, Nita? What if you are what they said?" She is a big part of me~ she has a loud voice. And if I don't believe in myself... how can I convince that part of me that I am good and I am worthy?
0
Aug 4, 2013
Aug 4, 2013 at 5:29 AM UTC
I know so much ~ but I do not know myself
I am a stranger to myself. I do not know how to be gentle, compassionate, or loving, to any part of myself. I have always been able to present myself well in most public situations, be it work, school, parental obligations, parties. I can be calm and level-headed. I am able to problem solve in logical and intelligent ways. I can be humorous and glamorous when need be. But it seems as though that power and confidence, that grace and strength, is only a mask. I now have more days when that mask feels heavy. And when I lack the strength to put it on, I have to hide myself. And I’ve been hiding a lot lately. I hid yesterday. I am hiding today. I hear the words of care that others speak, but they don’t feel real to me. Sometimes I can accept their words while knowing that they do not realize that I am a disgusting person who deserves to be treated badly. They see what I want them to see. I watch them interact with the humorous Nita, the intelligent Nita, and I watch it all from the outside. I want so much more for myself. Who is this Nita that is respected by so many? I want to be loved and to feel love. I want to be free from the father and the host body. I desperately wish to be free from them, and not just in a surface way. I want them out of me forever. My soul cries out for kindness and gentleness and yet when it is offered I cannot accept it. I want to be respected and loved and yet I do not know how to love or respect myself. I know how to pretend. I wrote the book on how to hide your feelings. I know how to smile, I know how to laugh. I know that I have been given gifts but I don’t know how to use them. And the ones who were abused, ***** assaulted, degraded… they are afraid to dream that there is more to life than this. They cannot fathom that there exists a world where they can be loved in a gentle way, touched in a way that does not hurt. They stopped dreaming a long time ago. I want to stop fighting so hard, so much of the time...fighting myself, the therapist the fighting stubborn one just comes out in full-force at any perceived threat and I want her to stop fighting when there is no reason to fight. I want to learn to trust in myself and others. I want the chaos and confusion inside my mind to clear and I want some sense of cohesiveness and togetherness inside of me. I want to believe that there is more to life than pretending behind an illusion of imaginary togetherness... more than just feeling ashamed and degraded. I want to trust that I am allowed to heal. I want to believe that I am worth the time and the effort it is taking, and the pain I endure every day. I want to believe that I am not what they said I am, that real love actually exists, and that I am worthy of receiving it. And even as I write this, there is that voice inside speaking to me, "But what if you're not worthy, Nita? What if you are what they said?" She is a big part of me~ she has a loud voice. And if I don't believe in myself... how can I convince that part of me that I am good and I am worthy?
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61
I've found it, My fatal flaw: I'm a poet. I romanticize and attempt to find beauty in the most hideous of situations, Even when the beauty ceases to exist. I fall in love with my own ideas and expectations, To try to block out the reality. So there it is, My fatal flaw: Poetry I love it, but it kills me
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Sep 30, 2013
Sep 30, 2013 at 10:59 PM UTC
My Fatal Flaw
The night is only a sort of carbon paper, Blueblack, with the much-poked periods of stars Letting in the light, peephole after peephole -- A bonewhite light, like death, behind all things. Under the eyes of the stars and the moon's rictus He suffers his desert pillow, sleeplessness Stretching its fine, irritating sand in all directions. Over and over the old, granular movie Exposes embarrassments--the mizzling days Of childhood and adolescence, sticky with dreams, Parental faces on tall stalks, alternately stern and tearful, A garden of buggy rose that made him cry. His forehead is bumpy as a sack of rocks. Memories jostle each other for face-room like obsolete film stars. He is immune to pills: red, purple, blue -- How they lit the tedium of the protracted evening! Those sugary planets whose influence won for him A life baptized in no-life for a while, And the sweet, drugged waking of a forgetful baby. Now the pills are worn-out and silly, like classical gods. Their poppy-sleepy colors do him no good. His head is a little interior of grey mirrors. Each gesture flees immediately down an alley Of diminishing perspectives, and its significance Drains like water out the hole at the far end. He lives without privacy in a lidless room, The bald slots of his eyes stiffened wide-open On the incessant heat-lightning flicker of situations. Nightlong, in the granite yard, invisible cats Have been howling like women, or damaged instruments. Already he can feel daylight, his white disease, Creeping up with her hatful of trivial repetitions. The city is a map of cheerful twitters now, And everywhere people, eyes mica-silver and blank, Are riding to work in rows, as if recently brainwashed.
0
15.4k
Insomniac
The night is only a sort of carbon paper, Blueblack, with the much-poked periods of stars Letting in the light, peephole after peephole -- A bonewhite light, like death, behind all things. Under the eyes of the stars and the moon's rictus He suffers his desert pillow, sleeplessness Stretching its fine, irritating sand in all directions. Over and over the old, granular movie Exposes embarrassments--the mizzling days Of childhood and adolescence, sticky with dreams, Parental faces on tall stalks, alternately stern and tearful, A garden of buggy rose that made him cry. His forehead is bumpy as a sack of rocks. Memories jostle each other for face-room like obsolete film stars. He is immune to pills: red, purple, blue -- How they lit the tedium of the protracted evening! Those sugary planets whose influence won for him A life baptized in no-life for a while, And the sweet, drugged waking of a forgetful baby. Now the pills are worn-out and silly, like classical gods. Their poppy-sleepy colors do him no good. His head is a little interior of grey mirrors. Each gesture flees immediately down an alley Of diminishing perspectives, and its significance Drains like water out the hole at the far end. He lives without privacy in a lidless room, The bald slots of his eyes stiffened wide-open On the incessant heat-lightning flicker of situations. Nightlong, in the granite yard, invisible cats Have been howling like women, or damaged instruments. Already he can feel daylight, his white disease, Creeping up with her hatful of trivial repetitions. The city is a map of cheerful twitters now, And everywhere people, eyes mica-silver and blank, Are riding to work in rows, as if recently brainwashed.
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35
Situations find themselves unraveling uncontrollably, picking at scabs of superiority, delving into wide expanded pits of insecurity. The master of masking change would be the ever drifting reputation, it leaves bitter, it brings hate. May I express how much I hate? Nothing squirms and squiggles uncontrollably more, than watching reputations crumble, due to fake superiority. What do I want, change! What does she want? Change, but she gets insecurity. To understand the confliction, insecurity must paint walls of peeling purple hate. Well, something in you will change. You may remain stubborn, uncontrollably defending your sudden superiority, you’re just choosing a rotten reputation. I wish to fly you to a new nation, I mean shes breaking your reputation. I’d like to find the spot in your mind resided by insecurity, I know you’re not studded with superiority. She’s finding a reason for everyone else to hate the way you attract uncontrollably. Nothing about you, in you, should change, because this digs deeper than the change her and my relationship took, than are used to be reputation of adoring each other uncontrollably. of ignoring that insecurity. of the day she learned to hate, spindling a slippery net of superiority. Her comfort zone of a home lays in superiority, I’d rather cry endlessly than change by cultivating my hate for her, for her debilitating take on your reputation. Transperency touches insecurity and you are broken, falling uncontrollably. I will continue to hate her superiority, but that won’t reflect on her reputation. You mustn’t change your disposition, but lose the grip on insecurity Don’t you dare hate these words, they care, they love uncontrollably.
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Jun 21, 2012
Jun 21, 2012 at 10:45 PM UTC
My Words for Her
Situations find themselves unraveling uncontrollably, picking at scabs of superiority, delving into wide expanded pits of insecurity. The master of masking change would be the ever drifting reputation, it leaves bitter, it brings hate. May I express how much I hate? Nothing squirms and squiggles uncontrollably more, than watching reputations crumble, due to fake superiority. What do I want, change! What does she want? Change, but she gets insecurity. To understand the confliction, insecurity must paint walls of peeling purple hate. Well, something in you will change. You may remain stubborn, uncontrollably defending your sudden superiority, you’re just choosing a rotten reputation. I wish to fly you to a new nation, I mean shes breaking your reputation. I’d like to find the spot in your mind resided by insecurity, I know you’re not studded with superiority. She’s finding a reason for everyone else to hate the way you attract uncontrollably. Nothing about you, in you, should change, because this digs deeper than the change her and my relationship took, than are used to be reputation of adoring each other uncontrollably. of ignoring that insecurity. of the day she learned to hate, spindling a slippery net of superiority. Her comfort zone of a home lays in superiority, I’d rather cry endlessly than change by cultivating my hate for her, for her debilitating take on your reputation. Transperency touches insecurity and you are broken, falling uncontrollably. I will continue to hate her superiority, but that won’t reflect on her reputation. You mustn’t change your disposition, but lose the grip on insecurity Don’t you dare hate these words, they care, they love uncontrollably.
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39
Yes I have been through it, Our situations are similar, They're different just a bit. Tides of time are testing us, We do not ever bow down, Yes we will be strong babe. We're together & we'll be so forever.
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Nov 18, 2014
Nov 18, 2014 at 2:19 AM UTC
Be Strong Babe
I enjoy distance Long drives with no destination Music blaring,  miles growing I enjoy distance Long walks to nowhere The peace calms my restless soul I enjoy distance Little steps each day Away from difficult situations I enjoy distance Between people and places And me I enjoy distance It gives perspective Emancipation I enjoy distance I also enjoy coming home When distance has run its course
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Jul 22, 2015
Jul 22, 2015 at 8:21 AM UTC
Distance
*Today I shall get high on life. To feel the energy of wind, hear birds sweet song, dance upon sacred Mother Earth. Today I shall take the drug of life. To be grateful for all that life brings. shinning a light upon difficult situations. Today I shall move in my power To feel connected to source energies and all the invisible allies present who come to my aid. Today is the first day of the rest of my life to align with higher self moving with the grace of self.*
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Feb 27, 2018
Feb 27, 2018 at 6:50 AM UTC
TODAY
Mr. handsome stranger He’s coming after Desperate like a last request Frantic delusional lunatic Unhinged fragile losing what’s left Self serving sadomasochistic Easy on the eyes but doesn’t quite fit in Playing it cool in social situations His intelligent banter he claims as his own With somewhat smart comebacks he practiced at home Trying so hard that the sweat beads down Onto his stressed wrinkled furrowed brow the stories he skillfully misdirected   Carefully darting  unwanted questions Mr. Indiscreet can’t blow his cover Disarm the girl of his unrealistic dreams How quite average and normal he can be Mr. Stalker walks over to the Girl works up the courage and talks to her Strikes up a witty conversation With his movie star smile and education Using the words that he pre rehearsed Says all the right things and compliments her Looking past his rather peculiar behavior And when politely asked gives up her number He rings her up the very next day With a romantic scenic picnic date Under the shade of a lush green tree Upon a blanket with wine and cheese Playing the part of the handsome boyfriend Gains her full trust and faith in him Joking in a effort to make her laugh To put her at ease and follow his plan Jealous of her ex boyfriends Knowing their names and full address And when he drops her off at home Tracks and follows her every move Knows all her weekly kept routines Threatens and blackmails all her friends Studies everyday mundane errands Unaware of his decent into madness
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Sep 18, 2018
Sep 18, 2018 at 8:28 AM UTC
Mr. Handsome
Mr. handsome stranger He’s coming after Desperate like a last request Frantic delusional lunatic Unhinged fragile losing what’s left Self serving sadomasochistic Easy on the eyes but doesn’t quite fit in Playing it cool in social situations His intelligent banter he claims as his own With somewhat smart comebacks he practiced at home Trying so hard that the sweat beads down Onto his stressed wrinkled furrowed brow the stories he skillfully misdirected   Carefully darting  unwanted questions Mr. Indiscreet can’t blow his cover Disarm the girl of his unrealistic dreams How quite average and normal he can be Mr. Stalker walks over to the Girl works up the courage and talks to her Strikes up a witty conversation With his movie star smile and education Using the words that he pre rehearsed Says all the right things and compliments her Looking past his rather peculiar behavior And when politely asked gives up her number He rings her up the very next day With a romantic scenic picnic date Under the shade of a lush green tree Upon a blanket with wine and cheese Playing the part of the handsome boyfriend Gains her full trust and faith in him Joking in a effort to make her laugh To put her at ease and follow his plan Jealous of her ex boyfriends Knowing their names and full address And when he drops her off at home Tracks and follows her every move Knows all her weekly kept routines Threatens and blackmails all her friends Studies everyday mundane errands Unaware of his decent into madness
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41
Have you ever felt so sick That there's a churning in your stomach That you just can't shake Have you ever felt so broken That you just can't sleep Lost in confusion to how life brought you here Have you ever felt so low That you didn't think there was anywhere else to go Have you ever been so angry You can't control your rage Ripping every photo in you picture frames (Yeah) have you ever wondered why it is your heart breaks Are you good at getting stuck in situations Feel as though you have lost all communication And you can't seem to navigate your way out of this dark place You landed yourself in Shouldn't have given everything so soon And maybe then you wouldn't have lost you Signals beyond detection Lost in my own space No stars or light to guide your way You just met the monster under your bed Gave into the voices inside of your head This is the moment everybody dreads So is this my hell This is where I've been sent This is the fall This is the steep descent Told you I bleed for my heart Can't you tell from the scars Engraved into my skin Maybe I'm addicted to the pain Maybe it doesn't feel right when life kicks me back in the face Maybe I just can't go a day without making a mistake Maybe I'm a lost cause Maybe I have no faith Maybe I've fallen from grace Maybe I'm a disgrace Maybe there is no hope for the hopeless But I still give hope to those That hang off of every word that I write And it's lines and times like this that keep me alive (Yeah) Are you good at getting stuck in situations Feel as though you have lost all communication And you can't seem to navigate your way out of this dark place You landed yourself in Shouldn't have given everything so soon And maybe then you wouldn't have lost you Signals beyond detection Lost in my own space No stars or light to guide your way You just met the monster under your bed Gave into the voices inside of your head This is the moment everybody dreads So is this my hell This is where I've been sent This is the fall This is the steep descent Maybe I'm drowning in sorrows Maybe you have some love I could borrow Maybe you could get me back on my feet Should never have worn this heart on my sleeve Maybe I shared too much Maybe my kindness got the best of me Maybe I gave to much trust Maybe I just lost the one Maybe the battle was lost Before it was ever won (Yeah) Are you good at getting stuck in situations Feel as though you have lost all communication And you can't seem to navigate your way out of this dark place You landed yourself in Shouldn't have given everything so soon And maybe then you wouldn't have lost you Signals beyond detection Lost in my own space No stars or light to guide your way You just met the monster under your bed Gave into the voices inside of your head This is the moment everybody dreads So is this my hell This is where I've been sent This is the fall This is the steep descent ©2017 Written By Benji James
0
May 29, 2017
May 29, 2017 at 4:45 AM UTC
Steep Descent
Have you ever felt so sick That there's a churning in your stomach That you just can't shake Have you ever felt so broken That you just can't sleep Lost in confusion to how life brought you here Have you ever felt so low That you didn't think there was anywhere else to go Have you ever been so angry You can't control your rage Ripping every photo in you picture frames (Yeah) have you ever wondered why it is your heart breaks Are you good at getting stuck in situations Feel as though you have lost all communication And you can't seem to navigate your way out of this dark place You landed yourself in Shouldn't have given everything so soon And maybe then you wouldn't have lost you Signals beyond detection Lost in my own space No stars or light to guide your way You just met the monster under your bed Gave into the voices inside of your head This is the moment everybody dreads So is this my hell This is where I've been sent This is the fall This is the steep descent Told you I bleed for my heart Can't you tell from the scars Engraved into my skin Maybe I'm addicted to the pain Maybe it doesn't feel right when life kicks me back in the face Maybe I just can't go a day without making a mistake Maybe I'm a lost cause Maybe I have no faith Maybe I've fallen from grace Maybe I'm a disgrace Maybe there is no hope for the hopeless But I still give hope to those That hang off of every word that I write And it's lines and times like this that keep me alive (Yeah) Are you good at getting stuck in situations Feel as though you have lost all communication And you can't seem to navigate your way out of this dark place You landed yourself in Shouldn't have given everything so soon And maybe then you wouldn't have lost you Signals beyond detection Lost in my own space No stars or light to guide your way You just met the monster under your bed Gave into the voices inside of your head This is the moment everybody dreads So is this my hell This is where I've been sent This is the fall This is the steep descent Maybe I'm drowning in sorrows Maybe you have some love I could borrow Maybe you could get me back on my feet Should never have worn this heart on my sleeve Maybe I shared too much Maybe my kindness got the best of me Maybe I gave to much trust Maybe I just lost the one Maybe the battle was lost Before it was ever won (Yeah) Are you good at getting stuck in situations Feel as though you have lost all communication And you can't seem to navigate your way out of this dark place You landed yourself in Shouldn't have given everything so soon And maybe then you wouldn't have lost you Signals beyond detection Lost in my own space No stars or light to guide your way You just met the monster under your bed Gave into the voices inside of your head This is the moment everybody dreads So is this my hell This is where I've been sent This is the fall This is the steep descent ©2017 Written By Benji James
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86
*We are all painters Holding a color palette Conceiving a painting It’s how we mix the colors Depending on our imagination Whether we paint happiness Or scenes of saddened gray Situations yield the paintings Sometimes splashing all colors Or else black colors gloom Universe has mostly dark energy Yet, we have found our colors To paint our abode, we inhabit No matter, colors of joy and sorrow We celebrate all colors We are all painters, wielding the brush To create new colors of hope*
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Jul 12, 2014
Jul 12, 2014 at 12:38 AM UTC
Colors
People may tell you to not cry... I won't because I know the difference. They think they know when in fact they lie... I say bury yourself in the deepest of detriments. They may say that a new day will come... They only spout what they can't comprehend. They forget that you are ailing from a broken heart and that you're not dumb. There's only you in your space, alone you stand... Textbook responses are all they can offer... They know not that it'll only make things worse... There can be no replies so nice and proper. To rid you of your life, your plight, your curse. They may even share personal events that they think familiar. Thinking what worked for them may work for you. But no two situations are the same, albeit looking quite similar. At the end of the day, you only owe it to yourself to pull yourself through. I say feed your pain, grieve hard if you must Wallow... Dwell... Drown yourself everyday. Let your blood sear your insides, beneath your crumbling crust. Let the world around you descend into destruction and decay. What made me the expert... To say these horrid, putrid things. Because I am you and we both lay in the dirt. Driven mad by the persistent echoes of our own misgivings. I'm no expert... I am just a broken man. Telling you to let yourself be caught in your own sad and angry song. Be weak... Be as weak as you possibly can... So you could rise from the ashes and emerge hale and strong.
0
Jan 16, 2015
Jan 16, 2015 at 8:53 AM UTC
Advice
Muster up the words, "I beg you." Form some kind of apology, please This isn't you and you know it Your heart is too warm to treat someone so cold The breezy winds flow through your hair just as well as they do your emotions and you're making her feel like a helpless feather with no other choice but to get blown away Even a simple goodbye would be better than this Trust me, I know closure isn't really your thing, but she deserves at least something Anything would do this situation justice, just please talk to her This isn't you, please snap out of it I know you've been hurt too many times to count and you're looking everywhere for something or someone to fill your voids but do not use innocent hearts as vices, they don't work like that Don't rob someone of their feelings just because you have a hard time coping with yours I know sometimes certain situations and feelings can be interpreted differently, but don't kid yourself, you know exactly what you're doing and quite frankly it's making me sick You aren't perfect and neither is she, but the least you could do is offer her a bandaid when she needs one instead of drinking her blood and leaving a mess for her to cleanup afterwards without even calling her back All of this is running like a train through my head when I look into my mirror and see myself start to tear up The bags under my eyes hold all of the emotions that I try my best not to let out It should be easier than this Maybe it really is easy, and I'm just not used to change I'm not sure about a lot of the things that are happening in my life However, I am sure that I need to stop becoming a bad memory to others It keeps me awake at night to think about all of the wrong I've done That there are people whose only memory of me is how I was the worst for them and I don't want that To my past friends and lovers, I can't say sorry enough To my present friends and lovers, please don't give up on me; you are the reason I'm still trying To my future friends and lovers, I hope by the time we meet, I am nothing less than perfect to you I'm not used to change, but I could get used to being a good memory
0
May 23, 2016
May 23, 2016 at 1:33 AM UTC
Remember Me As I Am, Not As I Was
Muster up the words, "I beg you." Form some kind of apology, please This isn't you and you know it Your heart is too warm to treat someone so cold The breezy winds flow through your hair just as well as they do your emotions and you're making her feel like a helpless feather with no other choice but to get blown away Even a simple goodbye would be better than this Trust me, I know closure isn't really your thing, but she deserves at least something Anything would do this situation justice, just please talk to her This isn't you, please snap out of it I know you've been hurt too many times to count and you're looking everywhere for something or someone to fill your voids but do not use innocent hearts as vices, they don't work like that Don't rob someone of their feelings just because you have a hard time coping with yours I know sometimes certain situations and feelings can be interpreted differently, but don't kid yourself, you know exactly what you're doing and quite frankly it's making me sick You aren't perfect and neither is she, but the least you could do is offer her a bandaid when she needs one instead of drinking her blood and leaving a mess for her to cleanup afterwards without even calling her back All of this is running like a train through my head when I look into my mirror and see myself start to tear up The bags under my eyes hold all of the emotions that I try my best not to let out It should be easier than this Maybe it really is easy, and I'm just not used to change I'm not sure about a lot of the things that are happening in my life However, I am sure that I need to stop becoming a bad memory to others It keeps me awake at night to think about all of the wrong I've done That there are people whose only memory of me is how I was the worst for them and I don't want that To my past friends and lovers, I can't say sorry enough To my present friends and lovers, please don't give up on me; you are the reason I'm still trying To my future friends and lovers, I hope by the time we meet, I am nothing less than perfect to you I'm not used to change, but I could get used to being a good memory
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25
People always seem to misunderstand me, It's amazing how they can judge so quickly, That's why I decided to always be the happy one, The one to make jokes and everything seemed fun, But what they don't know is that anxiety, Floods through me. How much I hold back from the things I really want You see it's a cruel world out there I learned how to people can stab you in the back and pretend to care, How everything you do is going to be judged by people who have no clue. So I've learned to sugarcoat my opinions, Hide behind a lie: a smile Be the nice one in every situation Someone who would go that extra mile Still it wasn't enough, In the end I was still misunderstood. Even if my intentions were good it still got twisted to some bad stuff. So I just hold myself back trying to save myself from all the heartache, Avoiding the trouble my emotions would make Sugar coating my opinions In serious situations Just drowning myself lyrics Avoiding all the tricky topics Yet once again they misunderstand me, They come up with this version of my life story, they'd assume I'm always lonely, And honestly it makes me angry, Because they don't even know me.
0
Apr 10, 2014
Apr 10, 2014 at 8:52 PM UTC
Misunderstood
The stigma that sensitive people are weak needs to diminish. Just because she feels things down to her bones does not mean she is weak. She carries everything. Her feelings, other people’s feelings, the world around her as she takes it all in. * * * Sensitivity is deemed feeble. Thick-skinned people are the brave ones, right? They have endured so much that they no longer feel anything. Snide remarks, rude comments, and stressful situations roll off their skin like water during a storm. If it’s already pouring, why worry about each droplet? * * * That is the problem, she thought to herself. Are brave people truly brave? No. Brave people are the true cowards. Rather than taking their experiences and feeling them, letting them seep into their bones to become the marrow which fuels their bodies, they shut them away; skeletons in a closet. They have become numb to the baggage they carry at the expense of growing numb to everything else. * * * People around her are merely living in this world, she decided, whereas she was absorbing it. In the spring she lays in the grass, running her fingers through each blade as if it were the Earth’s hair. When summer nights bring a light breeze, she imagines spirits are hugging her. In the fall when it rains, she spreads her arms wide and gazes up to the sky, knowing that each water droplet that falls is Mother Nature peppering her skin with kisses. * * * Others are too preoccupied making sure their skeletons do not peer out of the closet. Strength, after all, is the ability to withstand vast amounts of pressure and God knows how much force those skeletons must bear. * * * In the middle of the night, her father hears her talking to someone, except there is no response. It is as if she is conversing with herself when in actuality, she is conversing with her skeletons. After midnight when others have drifted off to sleep, hoping that their skeletons do not come to haunt them, she is wide awake, her closet door open. She lays in bed and asks her anxiety how it’s day was, laughs at a witty comment that her depression has made about her life, and gives thanks to the insult a bully gave her in the first grade for making her the person she is today. The things that should weigh her down, she has befriended. They come to visit so often, anyways. * * * She wonders how someone who has mastered the art of suppressing their feelings is braver than someone who has mastered the art of acknowledging their feelings. The strength it takes to keep the closet door shut is immense. However, it takes an unsurpassable amount of resilience to carry the world in her heart and soul while still having the courage to open her closet without being afraid of the things that could jump out at her.
0
Feb 4, 2018
Feb 4, 2018 at 3:49 PM UTC
The True Strength of Weakness
The stigma that sensitive people are weak needs to diminish. Just because she feels things down to her bones does not mean she is weak. She carries everything. Her feelings, other people’s feelings, the world around her as she takes it all in. * * * Sensitivity is deemed feeble. Thick-skinned people are the brave ones, right? They have endured so much that they no longer feel anything. Snide remarks, rude comments, and stressful situations roll off their skin like water during a storm. If it’s already pouring, why worry about each droplet? * * * That is the problem, she thought to herself. Are brave people truly brave? No. Brave people are the true cowards. Rather than taking their experiences and feeling them, letting them seep into their bones to become the marrow which fuels their bodies, they shut them away; skeletons in a closet. They have become numb to the baggage they carry at the expense of growing numb to everything else. * * * People around her are merely living in this world, she decided, whereas she was absorbing it. In the spring she lays in the grass, running her fingers through each blade as if it were the Earth’s hair. When summer nights bring a light breeze, she imagines spirits are hugging her. In the fall when it rains, she spreads her arms wide and gazes up to the sky, knowing that each water droplet that falls is Mother Nature peppering her skin with kisses. * * * Others are too preoccupied making sure their skeletons do not peer out of the closet. Strength, after all, is the ability to withstand vast amounts of pressure and God knows how much force those skeletons must bear. * * * In the middle of the night, her father hears her talking to someone, except there is no response. It is as if she is conversing with herself when in actuality, she is conversing with her skeletons. After midnight when others have drifted off to sleep, hoping that their skeletons do not come to haunt them, she is wide awake, her closet door open. She lays in bed and asks her anxiety how it’s day was, laughs at a witty comment that her depression has made about her life, and gives thanks to the insult a bully gave her in the first grade for making her the person she is today. The things that should weigh her down, she has befriended. They come to visit so often, anyways. * * * She wonders how someone who has mastered the art of suppressing their feelings is braver than someone who has mastered the art of acknowledging their feelings. The strength it takes to keep the closet door shut is immense. However, it takes an unsurpassable amount of resilience to carry the world in her heart and soul while still having the courage to open her closet without being afraid of the things that could jump out at her.
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28
downtown is a much newer scene than even i thought it’d be - i was prepared to be a novice. i was prepared to be out of place. and this was nothing, i could handle these old odd eyes, i just wasn’t ready to feel so dropped in. but i’d drawn a diagram of this situation, a different specific (god **** i can’t hear myself think) why am i surprised to feel so dropped in when i’ve drawn it? drawn upon it? why am i surprised that a new brand new situation feels just the same as the new situations of before, when i’ve had so many that i can picture the the sensation of my brain? i’ve made a series of green lines on a yellow, lined piece of paper. i’ve meant to take it to my shrink for months. once, i had it in my purse and my guts, when i entered, decided to shrink. i said i was fine, and the same, and i started to drop the pills that stole my sleep onto the streets. it’s helped, and i’m surprised. and my brain feels more awake than any other time in the past three years… so. to which part of town do i go to from here?
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Jun 23, 2014
Jun 23, 2014 at 12:09 PM UTC
downtown is
* The poor get poorer, The rich get richer.            In some cases it’s a debate              harsh situations Fluctuate When money speaks, power escalates. Sometimes… The poor gets tougher, The rich gets fragile against danger. Often times… Harsh situations make us stronger, Easy life makes us weaker. *
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Mar 5, 2015
Mar 5, 2015 at 12:46 AM UTC
Money ~
*Inclusion: the action or state of including or being included within a group or structure Solution: a means of solving a problem or dealing with a difficult situation* **Now, is ‘inclusion’ the ‘solution’?** Is confiding not always in yourself, but being able to confide in people you trust: a group, a team, not an impeccably simple way to solve complications? Some people that dwell in isolation succumb to despondency and desolation and invariably, wrap themselves in a costume of facades. Inclusion eradicates these issues. We as humans want answers to our questions, resolutions to our complications; a myriad of different perspectives can quickly enlighten and open the eyes of those who truly seek a solution. Solution to what? Solutions to those “impossible questions”, Solutions to those “exasperating situations” we can’t seem to get out, Solutions to those “family troubles” "relationship troubles", "work troubles", most importantly, those “social problems”. Inclusion is no secret, it’s the biggest weapon we as people have. Inclusion gives all of its users the power to control. Inclusion is power, the real wealth beneath our skins. With inclusion, we have the solution. (d.b.d.)
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Oct 7, 2014
Oct 7, 2014 at 12:58 PM UTC
Inclusion is the Solution