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Cunning Linguist Jul 2015
Sacred fires burning bright
Purging the flesh of my being
Becoming one with the light
Scorching the cells of my mortal body

4 Illuminate
3 the masses
4 Self-immolate
3 to ashes
1 break
3 conciousness
4 cosmic I lapse
3 death cleanses

8 dissipate into the nether

4 essence of life
3 extinguished
4 the chains that bind
3 relinquished
1 Pain
3 Surging through
4 Serenity
3 Gleaming blaze


I, long to be cosmic,
dissipate into illumination
To, become the nether -
to lapse in lost
consciousness

Then I shoot off in space and time,
soaring through illusions
Light years from reality,
distant pixels

8 Obsessing through the tesseract,
6 scouring past illusions
7 beyond spatiality,
4 distant pixels

Drifting, no sense or feel
Flames of color, figments of my creation

Drift in-to the surreal,
Chasing fractals defragments my cognition

Dreaming in discordance
Life confined in simulation

A glitch in the matrix
Lies conceived through my perception

Breathe


I, long to be spectral,
fluctuate right through this oscilation
To, attain the ether -
planetary
cognizance

Then I shoot off in space and time,
soaring through illusions
Light years from reality,
distant pixels

Obsessing through the tesseract,
scouring past illusions
beyond spatiality,
distant pixels

Drifting, no sense or feel
Flash of colors, figments of my creation

Drift in-to the surreal,
Chasing fractals defragments my cognition

Dreaming in discordance
Life confined in simulation

A glitch in the matrix
Lies conceived through my perception

Breathe
Lyrics for my band's next song.
Girard Tournesol Nov 2018
Did Pythagoras create
      or discover his famous theorem?
A squared plus B squared equals C squared
       — For a perfectly right triangle —
If created, well done.  
        If discovered . . . say your prayers.
Aural auspice austerity audible , augur aorist actuator , accidence ambience acoustics .
Counterfactual categorical imperative hubris .
Anarchy iconoclasm, invertible investiture, objectified manifest.
Chicanery dynamism's fealty.  
Ethology's entelechy, zoomorphic zoolatry's social contiguities, élan-vital's apotheosis, oneiromancy's apotropaic.
Chagrin ; fecund cogent apposite germane , inane inert inertia innate , propinquity habitation, proximity parameter perimeter peripherals .
Manumission gambit alluvium aloof , putschist kitsch , pandemicly phatic futurity fatidic, annex annul, extraversion embezzling euthanasia extortion.  
Extravagant exorbitance flirtatious flamboyance, flippantly flighty flit-ness.
Laborious beleaguerment, hypercritically meticulous tedium, diabolically maniacal dementia brusque macabre abrupt.
Ominous phenomenon portrayal spontaneous synchronous.

Financially responsible fiscal policy , plenary plenipotentiary fiduciary principle .
Incarnate encephala enunciate , synthetically conjugational conjecture juxtapositional adjunctly .
Noumenal sentience semantics.  Precociously petulant pedantic antics.
Zenithal azimuth entity zeal , transpicuous opacity , in extremis extremity cantankerous cantilever capacity .
Fulcrum fulgurous fulham presumptive.
Spanned collapsible feasible, vicinity victual vigilante villain, execration eventuation evocative vindictiveness vendetta vial.
Atrociously impetuous impudence impromptu innuendo juncture.
Ephemeral metaphor semantics flaunts , ***** affectation exserted protuberance .
Sepulcher stratagem objectified manifest , protractive analysis dimensional delineation .

Impetus intrigue intuitional intrepid , impertinence important , inadvertency inapplicable , initiate innate interpreters intervene intricacy.
Investiture annuity equity indemnity capital appreciation .
Preeminently preemptive retrospectively retroactive , aegis vagary incite.
Quixotically enrapturing mesmerist .
Sycophant swagger asymptotic hyperbolic, estranged ensemble orchestration .
Histophysiology mendacity somatology morphology metamorphosis, blasphemous farcical fugue preterit orchestrations.    
Terrestrial equestrian tellurian terrene, spatiotemporal telemetry tactician.    

****** matrix apex axis crux , actuarial acuity incursive .
Semantic dialectics eclectic synectic’s , wanton wayward warranty evitable.
Catalyst , relative rationality / rational relativity , circumstance contingency .
Incessant barratry omnipresence presage , decadent arrogant , irksome ire Zen.  
Grotto grouch gumption .
Bailiff rake-ness rails , prerogative presumptive judicature.  

Carousel ceaselessly ceremony chaos character charisma , clambering clamorous clangor .  
Catatonic phonics , concoct catenary concatenation , conjugationally conjunctive clairaudience clairvoyance .  
Ambrosia elixir libation inebriation , mirador bartizan panoramic tableau.
Citadel pinnacle pique piquant , altruism endemic intrinsic indigenous innate , existential allegorical .
Prosthesis pseudopodium prognostication , crude lewd , social stigmatism blind , ghastly gruesome grotesque meld .
Bizarre bazaar demonically deviant denizen , grimacing gremlin greaves gauntlets gamut catalyst abstracts .
Hideously horrible heinously horrendous awfully terrible , imagination's immaturity impromptu innuendo juncture , nuance ***** ,   incarnate encephalic enunciate .
Trajectory sordid transposition interlude rubato hi-jinks , nimbus nimiety nihilism .
Aura roan rainbow mare.  

Explicate zoomorphic zoolatry , exogamy of homogeny ontological ontogeny .
Astral projection prophylaxis protocol , telepathy teleportation .
Extraneous extemporaneous , embark embargo extradition , transcendental accession ascension , ecstatically euphoric meld .  
Deontological probity interstitial endemics , agnate aggregate amalgamated anathema android .
Translational interpretation , epistemology audacious pugnacity impunity.
Executant emulation simulation , evocative malfeasance mens rea  , geomancy effete.
Maieutic fallow feral .  apropos ipso facto ergo , carousing marauder syllogism .
Apostrophe means talking to the dead or perhaps those who aren't present; my use is a little bit looser, talking to the clairaudience of clairvoyance.  Astral projection distance traveled time spent.  Formidable foundry foyer fracas.
Cunning Linguist Dec 2018
Sacred fires burning bright
Purging the flesh of my being
Becoming one with the light
Scorching the cells of my mortal body

lluminate
The masses
Self-immolate
To ashes

Break,

Conciousness
Cosmic I lapse -
Death cleanses;
Dissipate into the nether

Essence of life
Extinguished
The chains that bind
Relinquished

Pain ~
Surging through
Serenity;
Gleaming blaze

Then I shoot off in space and time,
soaring through illusions
Light years from reality,
Distant pixels

Obsessing through the tesseract,
Scouring past illusions
Beyond spatiality,
Distant pixels

Drifting, no sense or feel
Flames of color,
figments of my creation

Drift in to the surreal;
Chasing fractals,
defragments my cognition

Dreaming in discordance
Life confined in simulation

A glitch in the matrix~
Lies conceived
through my perception;
Breathe


I, long to be spectral,
fluctuate right through this oscilation
To, obtain the ether -
Planetary cognizance

Then I shoot off in space and time,
soaring through illusions
Light years from reality,
distant pixels

Obsessing through the tesseract,
Scouring past illusions
beyond spatiality,
distant pixels

Drifting, no sense or feel
Flames of color,
figments of my creation

Drift in to the surreal;
Chasing fractals,
defragments my cognition

Dreaming in discordance
Life confined in simulation

A glitch in the matrix~
Lies conceived
through my perception;
Breathe
Lyrics for my band's next song.
zero Jan 2018
I am a simulation rebelling against my natural coding.
I refuse to believe what others think, just because it's written in the pages of an old book,
that, if you flip over too quickly,
could cut you.

I am an alien, lost on a planet unknown,
trying to speak English to its inhabitants,
and all they speak is in tongues.
I see their mouths moving
and yet I hear nothing a gabble of words
that string like rope out of their mouths
to strangle.

I am the scissors,
cutting the Moira between me and you.
I left you a note on the nightstand
with the wedding ring I wore
at first, it acted like a buoy, kept me afloat,
now it is made of lead,
and, with permission, it'd to drag me to the depths.

I am the looped flowers growing
out of my grandmothers piano,
my fingers play melodies that
the birds can sing,
so the children of the future can hear my voice.

I am the scent of your dead mother's perfume.
The one that haunts you whilst you sleep,
and kisses your cheek to make sure you
still think of me.

I am the treehouse set alight,
without a match in my hands,
or gasoline as my lotion,
I sink further and further into the grounds
as the flame rises,
choking you with my scent,
you cry out for mercy at Maria up above.
It's scary when you smell a dead girls perfume.


-Kinac.xo
Love encased in words
Traveling from one mind to the next
Your pen draws out feelings
As an offering to the recipient

How does one capture warmth
And release it on to paper
Where a piece of a heart's soul
Folded so neatly by its maker

I open my heart like a letter
That used to be sealed in secrecy
I feel love in words, written and said
I love each letter significantly

Each line I read gradually builds
With every word, like a puzzle piece
Creating a simulation of those I love
Giving me comfort in times of need
Cunning Linguist Oct 2018
Your lips taste like regret,
& stale cigarettes
Nevertheless;
You make me fly through space
right up in
my rocketship

Its celestial,
so ponder this
Always stuck inside
your head and  *******br>While these memories,
they eat at me
four walls,
my only scenery

I drink just to not feel things
Or contemplate the dark and strange
Is this insanity?
Deranged, I'm glued to my seat
stuck on repeat
& lacking in mental clarity

Poor  D i c k  just lost his family;
Her heart, it hasn't skipped a beat
Its on her sleeve and honestly
I swear she'll be the death of me

I'll never show the pain that grows
but stow away these mental notes
til one day my mindscape's exposed,
& explodes
As my brains leak out my ears
most infinitely, no?

Yes I'm depresso I must confess oh
Double barrel shot in my espresso
Can't express though
I wear a mask so
You'll never know when I'm upset

Overlords, gimme simulation reset
Situations got me already
steady hot & heavy
Cos I be boiling in my skin

You see this boi is your kin
But a toy in the bin
For you to discard
When you find it most convenient

And I mean it;
Please disregard the "bars" I spit
I still think your aesthetic's lit
A succubus with fetishes
Of draining me, til nothings left

And after all the time I spent
Prolonging an inevitable end
I'll say the means were justified,
Even if it was really just pretend

I only hope its unreal
A living nightmare, u feel
Every waking moment, lonely
And you can't sleep at night
without choking

So button it
Just shut it  b i t c h
I care not for the words unsaid
in a casket's where I made my bed
One foot in the grave
and I'm better off dead
Ryan O'Leary Jan 28
I beLIEve in truth fairy's,
I beLIEve in the grape vine
I beLIEve in ghosts
I beLIEve in old wives tales
I beLIEve in the will of God
I beLIEve in optical illusions
I beLIEve in word play
I beLIEve in simulation
I beLIEve in subliminal deception.
I beLIEve in what I <> <> only !

Ps.

Hear LIE's the Truth.
melody Aug 2018
bath water dribbles up me
i lay smothered in the tub until my head is clearer than the water
it died a long time ago
i just never wanted to accept it
the transparency is covering my feet
i can see through it all
and although i should be sad
i can’t overlook the key components which made my life worth it
i met some great people over the years
i faced my fears and wiped the tears i wept
i overslept and got some rest when it was necessary
i heard my favorite songs til the break of dawn in the back of a bar porch
i met strangers and listened to them tell me how lovely i was
i listened indeed and i always keep it with me
it died a long time ago about 6 months in when i found out i wasn’t the only one getting attention
i just didn’t wanna accept it
thank you for that
in my mind my bags were packed i guess that’s why it was so easy to find the places where you lacked
it was easy for me to want to give up
because i knew it was already dead
love killed you
from the inside out
and each potential victim with bright eyes can’t help but hunger for the emptiness you cradle so deeply inside
hidden amongst the facade of creation
loved turned into a void for you
a void you had to fill with thrills and pills and feels
i’m trying to understand your pain
i’m standing in the rain
with my hands out forever grateful of this simulation
i bathed in pain tonight but i still remain heartfelt and empathetic and i wish to not project it onto others
and see that is why i can’t understand you
Aleph Mar 26
Welcome to this brave new world
no longer needing reality
into this new existence you’re hurled
we will replace everything with fantasy
you would like to live beyond your senses,
to transcend mortality

Embrace the illusion,
Existence vaporises itself
spreading the confusion
It  has its breaches its glitches,
but you want to be fooled
you want somebody to flip the switches
you want to be ruled

live in anonymity to avoid consequences
Project the right fictional life of pretences
Embrace life in the simulation
Reality is to plain and you are too trivial
Avoid the frustration
Swiftly avoid the material


Reconstruct your existence the way you always sought
Fill the void inside,
To the old you give no more thought
your  former has  died
destroy the absence drifting within
You new life will fast begin


Remake yourself to cast the divinity
you always craved to be  
indulge all the sins you hunger secretly
as a slave of the deception
you will finally feel free
close you eyes and allow yourself to drift
it will not take long now
Uploading complete...
Hurry hurry step right up!!! Everyone is a winner , don't change yourself change reality
Savannah S Feb 1
yes I am aware
that voice
inside the skull


   speaks to me
late

at night

please do tell
I want      to know
who    this is

impulsive feels like
ecstasy, too good to
be true

cycling everyday through
the same simulation and
             some    
how

somehow there

are


buffers

the
paranoia envelopes
me
like a

warm
    
    blanket
static
6 is the absence of anything.. a hole, a chasm, like a black hole
Daniel oh dear
numbers as colours
We heard a passerby say
"soon he will break us out of the simulation"
goodbye( y'all ) pain imma
leave and chayanne
where is your number
colours
shapes\
forms
sequence oh fool sequence
find landscapes in your mind
shine a bright light
on my face
right movement to left
2 is the drifter
a clap of thunder
to the waves 5 for you
6 is the absence of anything.. a hole, a chasm, like a black hole
i send love totems to the rain man
9 is riding too close to my bumber
daniel's new york city
strange vibes
surrounded
9's all around
what did daniel see
orlando
name the date
savant
Spectra  intersect + overlap
6 is the absence of anything.. a hole, a chasm, like a black hole
Thank you daniel
They say its
beyond
not human.
profound talent profoud disablity
thin red line
Daniel
thin red line
This man is infinitely more interesting.
Important than the degenerate,
chronically-diseased bunch of freaks
that Hollywood and the mainstream media
vomits down on us.
6 is the absence of anything.. a hole, a chasm, like a black hole
Elicia Hurst Jan 21
.
to Emilia,
you are the method to my madness


I will cry my heart out now
for every hypothetical tragedy.
I’ll break my heart now
so I don’t have to— in another life,
or a life yet to come,
drown myself in some apocalyptic loss.
Unceremonious

departures. Haunt me for life.
Mourn you for all the ways you’d die.
Prepare myself for inconsolable grief
in a simulation of a graveyard.
Tombstone upon tombstone:
Dug, prodded, buried, sunk.

My dear,
to my dismay, you are but a mortal,
implicated in the immortality of love.
In the book of all conclusions,
written in an indecipherable tongue,
your name engraved in feeble marble,
an expiration date in bright, blinding red.

How can we cheat Oblivion?
How do we defy Death?

You shrug with a confident nonchalance.

What is Death to Love Imperishable?  
What is Eternity of a moment to Oblivion?

We are in the dress rehearsal
for the season’s première and the grand finale.
The Universe has been on our side all along,
it’s poured every blood, toil and tear into
years of conspiration and orchestration,
for our one delicate point convergence.
One chance against all odds.
One intersection against all parallels.
So come what may—
Take my hand and break a leg.
Jan 2019
Em MacKenzie Feb 5
con-spir-a-cy
Noun: a secret plan by a group
to do something unlawful and harmful.
Verb: the action of plotting or conspiring.

Conspiracy theorists,
are actually theorists of conspiracy,
while those in charge conspire.
While it’s easy to shrug off
and dismiss as “crazy,”
if you do the research
and dig down the rabbit hole,
you might start to question things
as well.

Take neither the red or blue pill,
as the pharmaceutical companies
will profit more from slow treatment,
or placebo effect, than they ever would from curing you once.
But open your eyes, and squint
to see, truly see, the world around you.

Why budget more into a military
than a healthcare or education system,
if you don’t intend to profit from it?
Industrial Military War Complex
is a real term and it’s definition
is dollar signs and blood.
The government is no longer politicians, but investors.

Sure some of us get a bad rap,
and we’re grouped in with the
eccentric or uneducated,
or just flat out theatrical.
But we’re the believers.
The ones who know that a society
is not just a structure, it’s a well
oiled, well designed machine
to keep the bottom on the bottom
and the top on the top.

I can’t say for sure that the Queen is a lizard,
and I’m pretty certain the world is
not flat,
but can any of us truly know?
Besides the Queen and those lucky few who travel to space...
how do you know for sure?
Even astronauts can be put into
a stasis, placed inside a simulation
and not know of it.
They would think they’re floating
in a satellite above our planet,
up until someone broke the
airlock, and they weren’t killed.

You see what I did there?
I took it too far.
And that’s what gets us the reputation of being crazy.
Would it be too crazy to believe,
those who take it a touch too far
are government plants to provide
an illusion of insanity
and discredit us completely?
You’ve heard of crisis actors,
but are their theorist actors?

Just know that the American government and CIA did once
(that we know of)
mull over the possibility of a False Flag Operation,
but on paperwork they rejected it.
The fact that the idea of attacking your own citizens to justify invasions of other countries
and create warfare was even on the table,
are the things that keep me on edge.
And should keep you on edge too.

I could go on forever about the
inconsistencies in testimonials,
footage, and Warren Commission Reports.
About common sense and intuition,
cold hard facts and brutal realities.
But, it’s not my job to pop balloons of blissful ignorance,
and those who don’t wish to see
the truth will forever stare at a counterfeit world telling themselves
it’s the real deal.

Anarchy would never work,
and communism could never be fair.
But democracy is made up of
well known names and popular
faces, of occasionally publicly approved personalities,
who are in turn overcome with
greed and then bought out and controlled by corporations and the big banks we entrust our salaries to.
They have our money, but not our
best interest at heart.
It’s like paying for a therapist
who will disregard everything you say, and then tell you to get back in line.

If someone aspires to have a position where they mediate and alter a group of people’s structure,
don’t you think they might have a power issue?
That if money makes the world go ‘round,
we’re all just numbers and barcodes?
And that maybe, it’s just safer for
those who make the world turn
to tell us what we want to hear
while showing us images of how
much worse it could be?
Just throwing down some knowledge. HP is even having trouble letting me post this........conspiracy?
Strapped to the outside of a rocket ship with nothing in the way.
I took off, and I just kept going. Reaching a height higher than heaven.
Nothing to orient myself. No time. No space. No self. Nothing but darkness stretching out all around me.
A roar of a million voices trying to scream over eachother resonates through my head.
I then came into orbit. Everything begun to crystalize.
No longer was I confounded to the restrictions of flesh. By birth and by death. I was out of my shell. Out of my world.

Complex geometrical patterns formed around me. Beating. Breathing. Moving. Almost like they were alive.
I had no way to process this. It was all so perfoundly alien. This was not my world. "Where the **** am I?" I thought
Terror possesses me. I feel like I am going to **** myself. Then all of a sudden these beings of indescribable features surround me, telling me to relax. "Relax now. Take it in. Settle down."
They told me they were my guides. They were going to show me around.

They gave me the tour of this universe, "Look at this! Look at that!" they said excitedly, showing me worlds that I can not explain, yet they seemed to reflect me.

I suddenly lost them. Where has my tour group gone?!
Suddenly these entites besieged me. Giving off negative energy. Holy ****! Jesters with tight pants and bell hats. Giving me the finger. They were so mischevious. Surrounding. Laughing. Jumping inside of me. ****** my soul. Is this what hell feels like?!

The darkness begins to clear, as a large face of a shimmering blue woman, with flaming white hair blowing in a non-existant wind, comes into view. Her face has so much dimension, with thousands of other faces upon her own. A snake tongue escapes through her lips, wrapping around me, pulling me into her mouth. I am flung into a space that is pure white, and a warm tingling sensation fills me.
This is what heaven feels like. This is my home. I think I found god.
I have never felt so much love. I have never felt so alive.

I then opened my eyes, trying to process my surroundings. I was in my home. On the couch. Sitting in front of the tv. My friend Jason was sitting next to me. He asked me what did I see. I leaped off of the couch, screaming "It is all a simulation!" I pulled my shirt off, swinging it around like Daniel from the bible. I tried to throw myself down the stairs, but was stopped when Jason tackled me. He held me in a chokehold, and while this was happening I exclaimed:

"On earth I am just a monkey,
but out there I am so much more.
I am not just a speck on a spinning ball.
I am more than the skin I wear,
More than the title I bear.
There is so much out there.
This world is not real.
What is real is me."

When I finally calmed down, Jason asked me how I was doing.
I looked up at him and I said "I am a work in process."
Caleb Hess Sep 2018
I don’t like puzzles, not this kind, anyway. My thoughts are puzzle pieces and these days are prophetic. What is my prophecy? Where I am supposed to be is far away, maybe. I feel that life is on autopilot.
LOST! Where the hell am I?
I don’t think that I’m meant to be here, nothing goes as planned. I see everything as if it was made of glass, I see it all. Surrounded by mirrors, I’m discombobulated. As I see everything, everything is everywhere. I know how to get there so I go but somehow I become lost… but it was so clear. The mirrors always catch my eye, I guess.
At some point I steered off during my prophecy and now the gods can’t seem to locate me. How will I ever get back? I’m trailed off in a simulation living in the background, I feel. I don’t want this, I want to be the main character of my own life.
I. Feel. So… l o s t.
I  am  getting  nowhere.
END
noir Oct 2018
I am a program
I am a function
I cannot run without…
I need…
I don’t require maintenance
I am self-sufficient
But I’m lacking in a certain humanity
The kind that makes you feel alive
But this is no problem
Especially since I was designed not to feel
To feel is to be weak
To be weak is not to perform
Not to engage
To be weak is my greatest fear
And also my greatest truth
I am a program
I am a function
I am weak
Help
how i felt last year ;-;
jonas ernust Aug 24
The nightmare
The simulation
The infection
The asphyxiation
The infibulation
The inebriation
The tyrannical grip
The hammer on your ******
The needle in your eyeball
The wrench up your prostate
The boot up your face
The finger in your mouth
The bomb in your place of comfort, after a long day doing nothing at all, just being.
The shoelace untied.
The brain with too much **** folded in your heart with no escape.
You want to ******* EXPLODE
BOOM
BOOM
BOOM
BOOM
bang
Sprawled out like bugs.
You wanted sone simple understanding, you wanted a biscuit with tea and maybe a back massage, but it's all too late.
Too late for the dreamer, and the 'talky' kid
Soon enough it will be over. I dont want to be anything or anyone.
I want quiet,
No words, no words no more words. No words and no resolve because there never is
Rahul Luthra Jul 2018
I don't know about destiny, or fate
I don't know if these things are real
Or just a fairytale
To make people believe
When they may have no reason to
To give strength to those
Who may have lost all hope
I don't know if there's a God
Or if this is all a simulation
If it's all a pre planned game
Or just some absurd coincidence
But there must be some reason
For the existence of all that we see
There must be some form of energy
that gets to decide
Of
What is, and what should never be
frankie Jul 2018
i slept with my phone on last night
clutched it tight in my hand as i tried to fall asleep
regretting the topic i brought up but hoping to feel the heartbeat simulation
the vibration set to your contact buzz in the palm of my hand
waiting for answers knowing that you weren’t doing the same when i wasn’t replying
realising that i have destroyed any possible non platonic feeling you have for me by bringing up the pain that’s festered inside for three weeks
i slept with three blankets on last night
still shivering cold from anxiety
the cold didn’t vanish even when i added more blankets
i slept with a hope last night
a hope that you’d realise in the morning that even after this fight i’m still worth it
a hope that your fear of committing would vanish and you’d come to your senses
i still hold the hope tight, as i did my phone when i fell asleep last night.
Rain is refreshing in a strange, backward way. It shocks you out of a deep, prolific lapse of participation in reality and reminds you that you’re still here. You’re still corporeal, tangible, you can feel and you can decide. But rain is still rain. It can be cold and unpleasant to be faced with, or it can be warm and welcoming. Beconing you forth to splash and smile in the reality you forgot still applied to you.
    I left behind the idea of full, around the clock consciousness during my last frigid thunderstorm. I realized, during a session already dedicated to realizations, how exhausting it was trying to live my reality to its current extent. How frustrating and soul-crushing it is to have the ambition you truly believed in and planned to embark upon, forgone by the limits of a situation you have no control over. I kept a small jar of ideas and plans in the very back corner of my closet. They were safe, they couldn’t be taken out back and shot nor could they be taunted and destroyed from the inside out. When I was cornered in my intruded closet, when I was taken by the collar and shaken for my truth, they were found. Both above-mentioned circumstances played out shortly but in the opposite order. That’s when it began to rain.
    I decided on an alternative: selective awareness. I keep myself alive only feeling and participating when the rain is tepid and pleasant. When I feel the temperature beginning to drop, I fall back asleep, floating through lull and lash, until the sun comes to change the course of my simulation. For days, all I will see is fog. I’m lost and isolated, but that lack of direction comes with an onset of contentedness. There is no one who can see me wandering through a deluded course I have set for myself. I don’t know where I’m walking, I don’t know what’s in front of me, so the warm rain will give me a pleasant surprise as it melts away the fog and gives me hope for sustainable warmth.
    The cloudiness that lingers in my head, even when I’m experiencing kindness and sensitivity, reminds me that my effort to make my reality more livable is as viable as staying completely shrouded in fog until I wander off the edge of a cliff. Eventually, as I age out of my simulation, I’ll have skin thick enough to withstand the hailstorm I’ll be forced to reckon with. Resilience is necessary, but hope exists. I often forget it does while I’m wondering, but serenity and light remind me that fog isn’t all I’ve devolved into. Rain will come, and so will spring.
mars Jul 2
Cosmic projections underlying in spaces
as warm sunburnt bodies move together across the floor
purple lights in neon glow attached to the ceiling,
mind spinning with the fluorescence.
And youth- your mind is spinning with how young you are
only seventeen
you carry the burden in your stomach the sadness on your shoulder.
You are much too young to have abundant regrets
to be living yet dead in a bitter grave.
Wrong choices overlap each other as the grave gets deeper- I know that sometimes it feels hopeless.
Banter with old friends about the aliens and rehab centers, the girl who taught you four square teaching you how to torch the end of a crack pipe.
Cycles of the same tornadoes, dreams of constant death,you’ve seen your best friends dead body more times than you will admit. Yet they’ve never imagined yours, or imagined you, or cared.
The rose colored glasses are ripped from your face given to the other unsuspecting girl who will walk the same journey I did with him.
One-sided friendships get lonely
lovers are no longer loving
and the pino has run out.
The purple lights manifest into messages coming across the lifeline simulation- Give up those who have fallen silent, your mission is not with them.
The mission is uncertain
get a man to prison
to watch a wild orca
have a family
but the process is daily.
My mission right now is to live freely let my hair grow and stick my head out the window singing Janis Joplin tunes on the 105.5
The aliens come through once again to extend long hands and acid tabs offering insight into treasures unknown.
Time capsules I have yet to bury.

The great thing about cycles is you can stop them.

— The End —