"shirty" poems
Uh sitting at this desk
waiting for the bell
see I
work 9 to 5 well
7 to 3 thirty
I’m *****
A little flirty
Tuck in my shirty
Be helpful
And curtious
Don’t make a fuss
Or ride the bus
I’m a driver
Got my **** tight like MacGyver
Or Minnie Driver
Don’t wanna be a miser
So I share, dog
Give it all away
Make a play
For Mr. Oregon day
Maybe I’m cray cray
But I still don’t say
Nuthin that just may
Hurt feelings in a bad way
And I’m not gay
……just raised this way.
And that’s o.k.
This America, dog
And I am free
White and over 20
You prolly wanna be me
Cause I’m tall
And oh so ****
It’s a blessing
So quit messing
Have I got ya guessing?
This is me confessing
I’m a nice guy
Uh
And its like that
I’m a nice guy
And I just wont quit
See I hold the door
For all comers
Winter or summer
Even wore rubbers
Till I got married then things varied
I still carry
The bottles from the dairy
Cause we live organic
Try to avoid the panic
We don’t act manic
Sweeter that Alan Thicke
I stack bricks
But only for later use
I don’t abuse
Or make the rules
I’m a nice guy.
Apr 16, 2015
Apr 16, 2015 at 12:51 PM UTC
My dear I’m afraid we will always be
Nothing more than chocolate and cheese.
Whilst you’re caviar, diamonds and fine Persian silks
I’m a 20p tabloid, sliced bread and skimmed milk.
Your standards: astronomical, but I’m easily pleased!
My pet, I’m afraid we’re just chocolate and cheese.
Yes - we’re simply chocolate and cheese.
Ask your sow of a mother, I’m sure she’ll agree.
She’ll tell you I’m feral and my manner’s uncouth
But doesn’t she know? She’s the living proof!
But you’re not much of a fighter, scared to disagree
Unlike me. We are merely chocolate and cheese.
Chocolate and cheese, we’re buds far apart
You love with your head, I think with my heart.
You keep your hands clean (whilst I get mine *****
And agree to whatever whilst I’m getting shirty.
If I’m daringly dairy, then you’re gluten free.
Too frightened to argue why we’re chocolate and cheese.
So, chocolate and cheese we will always be
From this moment on for eternity.
You’ve not made a case - is it because mine’s rested?
You’re too scared to fail whenever you’re tested.
You'll never be bold and explicit like me.
So forever you’re chocolate and forever I’m cheese.
Dec 19, 2016
Dec 19, 2016 at 2:52 PM UTC
I am a bug
mew mew mew
hi lets all wave to the stew!
bubble bubble bump
stew down my shirt front
hi shirty stew
can you mew?
Indeed I do too!
mew mew mew
look the grass grew!
mmmm sunshine on the dew
dew ten feet high
that grass REALLY grew
and now i must say good by to the stew
but he did leave some mildew
green green and fuzzy!
ooh so lovey dovey
i just want to stroke it all day;
and not in a lewd way...
green and fuzzy
like grass;
only grass is not fuzzy
though if you get close enough
it does become blurry;
and blurry is bluzzy
and bluzzy if muzzy
and muZzy is muggy
and if you get that close
then the grass will mug you
just hand you a big mug of hot coco
mmmm hot coco
it melts dew!
it does!
hot like stew....
but stew doesn't melt dew
but will melt bugs.
May 13, 2015
May 13, 2015 at 5:39 AM UTC
Your endless rays of perfection,
Wishing for a unwritten flaw,
A mistake for endurance's,
Holding up a shirty front,
Agitated companion,
Restless with covetousness,
Built walls of four,
Cornered shut tight,
Dense from attention,
Convey lies and truths,
What will cause your downfall?
Love?
Hate?
Or,
all of the above?
Remorseful of finding,
Regretful of up bring,
Unreformed of accepting,
What else must come down?
Aug 7, 2013
Aug 7, 2013 at 9:15 PM UTC
I lay softly upon you
breath in my
scent
stroke your nails
across
my back...
tease me with your touch
until such time
as he awakes
and once more puts me on.
Mar 10, 2012
Mar 10, 2012 at 6:10 AM UTC
6.4.14's offering for US National Poetry Month
Another poem to hack out,
A flood instead of the usual drought,
This month I dare not slack,
Even if inspiration I lack,
The daily schedule to survive?
Shall I knock out a three line haiku?
Would you, catch a fleeting quatrain,
Or take five, to ameliorate the strain?
I'm now at six, next hardly seventh heaven
Lord knows how I'll make eleven
Twelve, thirteen, tarnation on it
Fourteen suggests a sonnet?
Fifteen? Oh "dead man's chest"
and that many pirates upon it
Already losing reason stroke rhyme
What may poetry month evoke in time?
I own this day's diatribe seems shirty
TGIA which hath only thirty.
Apr 6, 2014
Apr 6, 2014 at 11:56 PM UTC
Disappearing into the night
the shallow light, lunar and pale,
space floating above us, we find our way.
Through endless revision,
through ****** circumstance
after shirty circumstance,
we move together.
Alone, together.
Out there in the valleys,
by the rivers we'll wander,
there are things we will discover
about truly being lost.
Into the night, into the void,
the wasteland beckons
and you extend your hand.
I follow blindly.
Oct 3, 2013
Oct 3, 2013 at 12:37 AM UTC
Darkness sets in I feel so alone
Sometimes it's not enough to have you just on the phone
So I get a bit crazy and feel awfully needy
You know when I'm like this as I get a bit shirty
But then I see it and take responsibility
As I begin to feel a awfully *****
My love you are everything to me my breathe of fresh air
Dont you think we make such an amazing pair?
I love you with my heart and soul
My fire for you burns hotter than coal
Orange bright light with love and passion
You have made such a huge impression
I miss you so much my darling butterfly
Oh I think you are totally divine
Your skin so soft as a baby's ***
Your *** shaped like a perfect plum
Hips sublime legs to die for
Your lips touching me to the core
So I'm writing you this so you can understand
Everything I do now is towards our plan
I love you more and more each day
I'm coming very soon hopefully to stay
Everything I see I see you everywhere
Angelina I miss you I really do care x
Apr 27, 2017
Apr 27, 2017 at 7:10 PM UTC
They're ... TRYING IT ...
They're ... " Playing TRICKS " ... !!!
They're Doing Things ...
To Make Me ... QUIT ... !!!
"Your role will change,
we'll re-arrange,
your work schedule,
and change your day !"
These Are Things ...
The LIARS ... Say ...
LIARS ... " In " ...
Todays' Workplace ...
Those Who ... LIE ...
For ... "cowardly types" ... !!!
Those Who Wear ...
NICE ... Corporate Ties ... !!!
Now Things Are ... "TIGHT" ...
Their Plan ... Takes FLIGHT .......................
"Lets get rid of
some troublesome guys !
What we need are
YES MEN types,
and of course,
let's have more whites !
Let's remove, those dark skin types !
Clever ones, who've got some fight !
Turn the screws, let colleagues loose,
even let some give abuse !"
They Should REALLY ...
Be MORE.......................... "shrewd" .............
Before They're ON ... YES ...
Channel Four NEWS ... !!!!!!
cos' My ... " Patience " ...
Has ... RUN OUT.
This Is ... REAL ...
There Is NO DOUBT ... !!!
"Managers have gone down south,
because Big Virge, has left a rout !
Punching many, in the mouth !
That young man, sure has some clout !"
This Is ALL ...
Because of ... THIS ...
..... ***** Games" ......
and subtle ............... " Tricks " ...
Just To Put Me ... "In A Fix" ...
"Virgil, you'll start at 8.30 !"
"WHY WHEN I NOW
START AT 10 !"
"Come on Virgil,
don't get shirty !"
"CHECK My terms of employment !
I think you'll find, that it's been signed ?
Right down there, on the dotted line !"
"Well, I can't say,
too much on that ?"
"It's cool, I know you
want me out !
Don't try to defend !
My working here, is near an end !"
"It's a job i've got to do !"
"Yeah OK, you stupid fool !
Those above, are using you,
to do the deed, that they know they can't do !
Push me out, without virtue !
I'll be looking, BELIEVE ME !
Can I have my old CV ?"
"Sorry, but we didn't keep,
a copy of your old CV !"
"You are kidding me !
You don't hold a copy,
of my CV ?"
"The system then,
was pretty bad,
CV's had, strange locations ?"
"You should be, locked in prison !
Things like that, have no defence !"
"It is NOT, personnel's duty,
to take care of ANYONE's CV !"
"Whatever, are you done with me !"
"NO Virgil, you're not happy !"
"What do you expect,
when you're messing with me !
Hours i've done, have proved loyalty !
You don't give a **** about things I need !
You people are a really sick breed !
All you do is live for greed,
and to USE, people like me !
Power Trips, and THEIR Money !
YES You fool, can't you see ?
The cash you make, compared to theirs,
Those who have, controlling shares !
Keep on doing, what you do !
One day it, just might be YOU ?
Facing someone, pulling stunts,
who will stress you, just for fun !"
"DO WHAT'S RIGHT
Why be SO THICK !
Can't You SEE ... ?!?
"They're TRYING IT ... "
Aug 16, 2019
Aug 16, 2019 at 8:14 PM UTC
She's talking of millions and the rest of us are sat listening,
stories we hear when here on the tube,
her jeans are torn and her fingernails *****
but didn't she get shirty when I gave her that look and that look's the look that says
I don't believe you,
But it's none of my business what her business is and nothing to do with me.
A wee chap with a kilt on and I neatly tilt on
my axis,
something I didn't want to see.
It's a bit to familiar or similar to a journey I took late last week.
Homeward bound and this hound dog purrs
the wee chappie swears at someone
a bit like last week so I won't harp on it
Just
continue to look sharp and sit
minding my own.
Nov 16, 2017
Nov 16, 2017 at 10:10 AM UTC