"shart" poems
I've diarrhea,
And it's ink,
Explaining why
My writing stinks.
I've constipation
Of the brain,
Leaving little
But shart stains.
I'm irregular,
I'll wear a diaper,
And write my poems
On toilet paper.
Aug 10, 2015
Aug 10, 2015 at 8:30 AM UTC
school ke pehle Din mile the, Rote Rote Sab aye the par tum has rahe the.
Usi baat se rote rote me chup hua tha aur wahi se dosti ka pehla chapter shuru hua.
Padhai ke chor Hum washroom Break ke bahane aadha lecture bunk Krte the.
Break me 15 ki sandwich aur 10 ka juice aur kaha koi kharche the.
7 bje se pehle agr barish hogi to scl nhi jaenge aur usi ki chutti Milte hi barish me jam ke nahaenge .
Result ke din kiska Kam ayega uspe shart lagti thi aur agr uska zada Aya to ye sochke bht phat ti thi.
Mere saamne shart harke Jeet ta hmesha tu hi Tha , kuch nhi pada yr bolke topper banta tu hi Tha... Jhuta saala!!.
Pehli baar kisi ldki ko dekhte dekhte tumne mujhe dekh Lia tha ,uske saamne usi ke Naam se chidane ka zimma tumne le Lia tha .
Teacher ne jab daat ke bahar hmko khara Kia Tha , class room se zada bhr hmne seekh Lia tha.
Aakhri baar jab aakhri din ham mile the kai wade hamne kr lie the.
Par tab shuru Hui zindagi ki asli class, alg school me admission no same class.....are Koi naa alg school Hai to Kya hua har week Milte rhenge par Sach btae dost aur kitna khud ko dhakte rhenge .
Pehle milke plan banate the ab Milne ka plan banta hai........in sab me kahi kho si gayi Hai hmari zindagi.
Kaha Hai yr Mera vo school Wala dost kaha Hai.......
Mar 30, 2018
Mar 30, 2018 at 5:40 AM UTC
I remember once I farted, in a packed lift,
My two cheeks really parted, if you get my drift
I almost had a heart attack, the sound was so clear,
It was indeed a mighty crack, that everyone could hear.
Now everyone turned red, but I was really blessed
as nothing more was said, I presumed no one had guessed.
Some looked at their feet, others at the wall
But no pair of eyes did meet, no one looked at me at all.
But no one could deny there was an awful hum
And I had to wonder why I was cursed with such a ***
Dear God, it was bad, worse than ever before
Was it the curry I had? I will not eat it any more.
On no! this can’t be happening, I felt my two cheeks part
This one much more sickening, what some would call a “shart”
Though I tried to look innocent, as detached as I could be
I knew what those looks meant and they were directed at me
We all held our breath, no one dared to breathe
We all faced certain death if the smell did not recede
We all wanted the top floor which was thirty stories high.
Would someone open the door or would we all be left to die
Thank God for ventilation, it really saved the day
For in case of flatulation it will take the smell away
Well I was so relieved, it was quite a close call
And I would not have believed what happened next at all
The lift it just stopped dead, a million to one chance
I thought I’d lose my head but instead I filled my pants.
I learned one thing that day, well at least it keeps me happy
I won’t get in a lift, No Way! without first putting on a *****
Jun 3, 2015
Jun 3, 2015 at 3:43 AM UTC
To make a poem ain‘t that hard
You eat the words and create a lyrical shart
A few rhymes that is all what you need
You can make up **** just like that
Also my dog is of no distinctive breed
but he‘s fat
But how do you dare
to waste your readers time
with lines like these
Despicable words you share
This act of yours is worthy a crime
Your thoughts are no more than a disease
There is no worth in a poem as this
I truely have more appreciation for a barrel of ****
But you aren‘t done with your lyrical epiphany yet
The tears of poets around the world make their carpets wet
There is nothing that would be able to stop you
Because even though you say **** it also is true
Dec 22, 2013
Dec 22, 2013 at 12:40 PM UTC
Stan Stan Stan,
Pack up the moving van
From St Lou to L.A.
Always with your **** in your hand
Shave that ***** stache
You unkept goofy chap
Oh and give yourself a flush
You giant piece of crap
Lies a flying out your mouth like a nasty shart
The only time you're speaking truth is when you rip a ****
I will hold no grudge, when I'm in L.A. I'll buy you a Coke
Unless of course you pass away from Goodells *** you've choked
Jan 16, 2016
Jan 16, 2016 at 7:15 PM UTC
I can't trust my mind or my heart like you can't trust a post laxative ****
Seems like they've both been plotting against me from the start, planning to steal this soulful art
Like they know when it comes to the afterlife, reincarnation plays a big part
And with the knowledge and comfort of that truth they're ready to scrap me now like bad art
A defective throw away product that seems to have been bought at a dollar general corner mart
Then pushed around in a stolen grocery cart till interest fades and goes dark
I have to find the right end with no place to start, close my eyes and toss a dart
Then keep the blindfold on and let you tell me the score, not smart
Last time I trusted either of you ya fed me the equivalent of a week old shart
Through a feeding tube that I didn't need according to my hospital chart
Neglecting real issues when there's endorphins to bogart, losing my mind, watching my soul depart
I've lost and broken the both of you yet you still torment me, not even phased by my rampart
I never stood a chance, oblivious to the warning siren like Mozart, silent as I'm pulled apart
No one will think back on me but if they do I'll just be seen as another failed upstart
©2020
Dec 7, 2020
Dec 7, 2020 at 6:42 PM UTC
rag tag *** hag grocery bag in drag
maxed credit and bragging about having a stag party
farty party girls in shart coated pantyhose blow wasted kisses
to fisters in trousers bumping mump victims blisters
hitting wristers like the Williams sisters
coyote trickster with a brand new mix tape waits
with his **** taped to his own leg like Ricky Lake
on her fist date
another Cosby **** escape hot-plated shared space
I’m no racist cause my skin is white and pasty
I’m tasty and **** like Britney sans the braces insatiable
and my testicles are reckless needing spectacles
done wrecked the hull Captain Pickard
and a test-tube girl –
Mar 1, 2016
Mar 1, 2016 at 5:30 PM UTC
He's senile, incoherent,
Out of shape,
Out of date.
He tips forward
Cause he blows back wind,
And when he mugs
He waddles his chin.
He smiles and squints
Those beady swine eyes,
Above his lantern-like
Satanic grin.
And it's never about you,
When it's always about him.
Flies follow his brimstone smell,
Like sulphur leaked
From the gates of hell.
The vermin covet
His dependable fill
From a shart attack
While he's standing still.
He's a fake from the toe lifts,
That stop forward tipping;
As fake as orange highlights,
And his mental slippings,
He's glued a fake coif of fluff,
And, if that's still not enough,
He spews lies,
Framed by his wee hands flailing,
His fetid breath exhaling,
Pouty lips wailing,
And his fat *** trailing
Far behind.
Oct 15, 2024
Oct 15, 2024 at 10:13 AM UTC
I'd rather have a ****
Than a shart,
I'd rather have a bed ache
Than a headache,
I would prefer a scratch
Rather than an itch,
And I'd rather be filthy rich.
But instead I understand
It may be better,
To be satisfied
With a consonant letter,
It's more common
Than a vowel, my friend,
Than an x-y-z perfect
At the end.
I won’t argue with the
Ideal of perfection,
Because it’s more than just
Natural selection,
Hard work and ambition
Rule endeavor,
You may be short
With the largest pure lever,
Balanced on the fulcrum
Of perseverance,
Expect excellence
But settle for clearance,
Otherwise disappointment
Makes failure too easy,
And if you give up now
Your efforts look cheesy.
Jun 7, 2021
Jun 7, 2021 at 11:38 AM UTC