She seems cheery at the table, husband's arm around her
Swaddled in the structure of his family home
Joining in the prayers, helping light each candle
New year strikes and she returns the smiles
Emptiness tucked in the corners where they cannot see
Yet once everyone's rushed to bed
- Pedar's no longer young, and his mother worries -
She cannot help but return to the table alone
Her smile brighter, wider, twisting into a grimace
She cradles the Seeb to her chest and bawls without words
For the son she never met, the hand she never held
The way her mother-in-law joked about grand-kids
And her husband couldn't meet her eyes
For the sense of failure she knows she should not feel
For the prayers where she hoped for fertility and health
Once more, in private, in whispered sobs she begs
The vinegar for patience, the garlic to protect
The Senjed and the Sumac for her love to bear fruit
The sprouts for a rebirth to shed the guilt of death.
Wiping the tears from her cheeks, she climbs the stairs
Returning to her place in her husband's arms.
