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"scots" poems
A Red, Red Rose by Robert Burns translation/interpretation/modernization by Michael R. Burch Oh, my love is like a red, red rose that's newly sprung in June and my love is like the melody that's sweetly played in tune. And you're so fair, my lovely lass, and so deep in love am I, that I will love you still, my dear, till all the seas run dry. Till all the seas run dry, my dear, and the rocks melt with the sun! And I will love you still, my dear, while the sands of life shall run.   And fare you well, my only love! And fare you well, awhile! And I will come again, my love, though it were ten thousand miles! Keywords/Tags: Robert Burns, red, rose, translation, modernization, update, interpretation, modern English, melody, tune, seas, dry, rocks, melt, sun, ten thousand miles Original Scots Dialect Poem: A Red, Red Rose by Robert Burns O my Luve is like a red, red rose    That’s newly sprung in June; O my Luve is like the melody    That’s sweetly played in tune. So fair art thou, my bonnie lass,    So deep in luve am I; And I will luve thee still, my dear,    Till a’ the seas gang dry. Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear,    And the rocks melt wi’ the sun; I will love thee still, my dear,    While the sands o’ life shall run. And fare thee weel, my only luve!    And fare thee weel awhile! And I will come again, my luve,    Though it were ten thousand mile. Hugh MacDiarmid wrote "The Watergaw" in a Scots dialect. I have translated the poem into modern English to make it easier to read and understand. A watergaw is a fragmentary rainbow. The Watergaw by Hugh MacDiarmid loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch One wet forenight in the sheep-shearing season I saw the uncanniest thing— a watergaw with its wavering light shining beyond the wild downpour of rain ... and I thought of the last wild look that you gave when you knew you were destined for the grave. There was no light in the skylark's nest that night—no—nor any in mine; but now often I've thought of that foolish light and of these more foolish hearts of men ... and I think that maybe at last I ken what your look meant then. Keywords/Tags: Scotland, Scot, Scottish, Scots dialect, night, nightfall, rain, grave, death, death of a friend, light, lights, watergaw, heart, heartache, broken heart, heart song
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Apr 19, 2020
Apr 19, 2020 at 11:10 PM UTC
Robert Burns "A Red, Red Rose" translation
A Red, Red Rose by Robert Burns translation/interpretation/modernization by Michael R. Burch Oh, my love is like a red, red rose that's newly sprung in June and my love is like the melody that's sweetly played in tune. And you're so fair, my lovely lass, and so deep in love am I, that I will love you still, my dear, till all the seas run dry. Till all the seas run dry, my dear, and the rocks melt with the sun! And I will love you still, my dear, while the sands of life shall run.   And fare you well, my only love! And fare you well, awhile! And I will come again, my love, though it were ten thousand miles! Keywords/Tags: Robert Burns, red, rose, translation, modernization, update, interpretation, modern English, melody, tune, seas, dry, rocks, melt, sun, ten thousand miles Original Scots Dialect Poem: A Red, Red Rose by Robert Burns O my Luve is like a red, red rose    That’s newly sprung in June; O my Luve is like the melody    That’s sweetly played in tune. So fair art thou, my bonnie lass,    So deep in luve am I; And I will luve thee still, my dear,    Till a’ the seas gang dry. Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear,    And the rocks melt wi’ the sun; I will love thee still, my dear,    While the sands o’ life shall run. And fare thee weel, my only luve!    And fare thee weel awhile! And I will come again, my luve,    Though it were ten thousand mile. Hugh MacDiarmid wrote "The Watergaw" in a Scots dialect. I have translated the poem into modern English to make it easier to read and understand. A watergaw is a fragmentary rainbow. The Watergaw by Hugh MacDiarmid loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch One wet forenight in the sheep-shearing season I saw the uncanniest thing— a watergaw with its wavering light shining beyond the wild downpour of rain ... and I thought of the last wild look that you gave when you knew you were destined for the grave. There was no light in the skylark's nest that night—no—nor any in mine; but now often I've thought of that foolish light and of these more foolish hearts of men ... and I think that maybe at last I ken what your look meant then. Keywords/Tags: Scotland, Scot, Scottish, Scots dialect, night, nightfall, rain, grave, death, death of a friend, light, lights, watergaw, heart, heartache, broken heart, heart song
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psychologism, i.e. neo-racism, neo- due to it being without any collective ethnic collectivisation, best insinuated by marijuana users, grouping alcoholics with ****** sharp shooters; they think they have the moral high ground, but they talk jack sh-: medicinal marijuana is synthetic marijuana / ore without casual-use effects, it's not the sh- you put in your **** have a *** change and tell me about children suffering from cancer while you're at it: because those starving children of africa adverts... are really really working... knowing that the man in control of such charities earns over half a million a year - post-colonialism only really works while you have former colonial indigenous peoples nearby, then you can milk that ***** cow from the locals... make sure you think the nairobi international airport has a dirt runway and you'll feel all ******* fuzzy giving money to these companies... post-colonialism only works like that... import some former colonials to milk the former colonial whites into coughing up money & guilt... then watch the irish get leery with sarcasm at almost anything... and the scots gear up pride and become politically malignant... the good friday agreement? tony blair did as much as / avoiding-tax cigarettes smuggled from eastern europe west of the ural mountains exchanged in belfast... but geographic borders were never used in rhetoric in politics... because ireland was always further west than iceland: as oaths go... it was a neighbour of liberty iseland... with the true statue of liberty in a moulin rouge cancan attire, skirt up, flame extinguished - although ***** as hell: and in koranic reality, requiring a harem for her three holes.
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Dec 25, 2015
Dec 25, 2015 at 10:22 PM UTC
marijuana optional
psychologism, i.e. neo-racism, neo- due to it being without any collective ethnic collectivisation, best insinuated by marijuana users, grouping alcoholics with ****** sharp shooters; they think they have the moral high ground, but they talk jack sh-: medicinal marijuana is synthetic marijuana / ore without casual-use effects, it's not the sh- you put in your **** have a *** change and tell me about children suffering from cancer while you're at it: because those starving children of africa adverts... are really really working... knowing that the man in control of such charities earns over half a million a year - post-colonialism only really works while you have former colonial indigenous peoples nearby, then you can milk that ***** cow from the locals... make sure you think the nairobi international airport has a dirt runway and you'll feel all ******* fuzzy giving money to these companies... post-colonialism only works like that... import some former colonials to milk the former colonial whites into coughing up money & guilt... then watch the irish get leery with sarcasm at almost anything... and the scots gear up pride and become politically malignant... the good friday agreement? tony blair did as much as / avoiding-tax cigarettes smuggled from eastern europe west of the ural mountains exchanged in belfast... but geographic borders were never used in rhetoric in politics... because ireland was always further west than iceland: as oaths go... it was a neighbour of liberty iseland... with the true statue of liberty in a moulin rouge cancan attire, skirt up, flame extinguished - although ***** as hell: and in koranic reality, requiring a harem for her three holes.
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i still straddle the fence on this immigration reform manifesto i see both sides of the story it's good to have the grandfather clause for the immigrants in my bloodstream - the scrappy scots-irish-ingles-welsh in me - but too late for the cherokee behind the old fences of history. r ~ 11/9/14
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Nov 9, 2014
Nov 9, 2014 at 9:57 AM UTC
immigration reform
To a Louse by Robert Burns translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Hey! Where're you going, you crawling hair-fly? Your impudence protects you, barely; I can only say that you swagger rarely Over gauze and lace. Though faith! I fear you dine but sparely In such a place. You ugly, creeping, blasted wonder, Detested, shunned by both saint and sinner, How dare you set your feet upon her— So fine a lady! Go somewhere else to seek your dinner On some poor body. Off! around some beggar's temple shamble: There you may creep, and sprawl, and scramble, With other kindred, jumping cattle, In shoals and nations; Where horn nor bone never dare unsettle Your thick plantations. Now hold you there! You're out of sight, Below the folderols, snug and tight; No, faith just yet! You'll not be right, Till you've got on it: The very topmost, towering height Of miss's bonnet. My word! right bold you root, contrary, As plump and gray as any gooseberry. Oh, for some rank, mercurial resin, Or dread red poison; I'd give you such a hearty dose, flea, It'd dress your noggin! I wouldn't be surprised to spy You on some housewife's flannel tie: Or maybe on some ragged boy's Pale undervest; But Miss's finest bonnet! Fie! How dare you jest? Oh Jenny, do not toss your head, And lash your lovely braids abroad! You hardly know what cursed speed The creature's making! Those winks and finger-ends, I dread, Are notice-taking! O would some Power with vision teach us To see ourselves as others see us! It would from many a blunder free us, And foolish notions: What airs in dress and carriage would leave us, And even devotion! One Sunday while sitting behind a young lady in church, Robert Burns noticed a louse roaming through the bows and ribbons of her bonnet. The poem "To a Louse" resulted from his observations. The poor woman had no idea that she would be the subject of one of Burns' best poems about how we see ourselves, compared to how other people see us at our worst moments. Keywords/Tags: Robert Burns, louse, church, bonnet, lace, Scotland, Scots, dialect, translation
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Apr 21, 2020
Apr 21, 2020 at 5:26 AM UTC
Robert Burns "To a Louse" translation
To a Louse by Robert Burns translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Hey! Where're you going, you crawling hair-fly? Your impudence protects you, barely; I can only say that you swagger rarely Over gauze and lace. Though faith! I fear you dine but sparely In such a place. You ugly, creeping, blasted wonder, Detested, shunned by both saint and sinner, How dare you set your feet upon her— So fine a lady! Go somewhere else to seek your dinner On some poor body. Off! around some beggar's temple shamble: There you may creep, and sprawl, and scramble, With other kindred, jumping cattle, In shoals and nations; Where horn nor bone never dare unsettle Your thick plantations. Now hold you there! You're out of sight, Below the folderols, snug and tight; No, faith just yet! You'll not be right, Till you've got on it: The very topmost, towering height Of miss's bonnet. My word! right bold you root, contrary, As plump and gray as any gooseberry. Oh, for some rank, mercurial resin, Or dread red poison; I'd give you such a hearty dose, flea, It'd dress your noggin! I wouldn't be surprised to spy You on some housewife's flannel tie: Or maybe on some ragged boy's Pale undervest; But Miss's finest bonnet! Fie! How dare you jest? Oh Jenny, do not toss your head, And lash your lovely braids abroad! You hardly know what cursed speed The creature's making! Those winks and finger-ends, I dread, Are notice-taking! O would some Power with vision teach us To see ourselves as others see us! It would from many a blunder free us, And foolish notions: What airs in dress and carriage would leave us, And even devotion! One Sunday while sitting behind a young lady in church, Robert Burns noticed a louse roaming through the bows and ribbons of her bonnet. The poem "To a Louse" resulted from his observations. The poor woman had no idea that she would be the subject of one of Burns' best poems about how we see ourselves, compared to how other people see us at our worst moments. Keywords/Tags: Robert Burns, louse, church, bonnet, lace, Scotland, Scots, dialect, translation
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On the face of it, there isn't much about this bird To stop me in my tracks.              Brown, oblivious, busy with the ground It totters along on stilted legs Probing among the frozen fields. It's the name that's the trouble. Childhood hours spent copying pictures From the Readers' Digest Book of Birds Call to mind the name, 'Curlew'. In my house, though, birds had Scots names and my dad, a linguistic David Bellamy Urged us to conserve these rare words or lose them forever. Goldfinch?  Gowdspink! Starling?  Stuckie! Blue ***  Umm... But the undistinguished gentleman before me was definitely a whaup. Curlew or whaup? Which is it to me? The English of books or the fading Scots, maybe closer to the bird's wild home? Textbook reality or romantic poetry? Or both - can the creature sit in two states at once? "Schrodinger's Curlew", I think with a smile. ("Schrodinger's Whaup!" bellows the bit of my dad that lodges in my head.)            Here, under a cloud of my own breath In the low winter light,             Neither seems quite adequate. And then, untouched by my musings The bird spreads its wings and lifts, Naming itself, with a long, pure note           And my heart, in two states,            Leaps              and breaks.
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Nov 26, 2010
Nov 26, 2010 at 12:03 AM UTC
Schrodinger's Curlew
HE lived on the wings of storm. The ashes are in Chihuahua. Out of Ludlow and coal towns in Colorado Sprang a vengeance of Slav miners, Italians, Scots, Cornishmen, Yanks. Killings ran under the spoken commands of this boy With eighty men and rifles on a hogback mountain. They killed swearing to remember The shot and charred wives and children In the burnt camp of Ludlow, And Louis Tikas, the laughing Greek, Plugged with a bullet, clubbed with a gun **** As a home war It held the nation a week And one or two million men stood together And swore by the retribution of steel. It was all accidental. He lived flecking lint off coat lapels Of men he talked with. He kissed the miners' babies And wrote a Denver paper Of picket silhouettes on a mountain line. He had no mother but Mother Jones Crying from a jail window of Trinidad: "All I want is room enough to stand And shake my fist at the enemies of the human race." Named by a grand jury as a murderer He went to Chihuahua, forgot his old Scotch name, Smoked cheroots with Pancho Villa And wrote letters of Villa as a rock of the people. How can I tell how Don Magregor went? Three riders emptied lead into him. He lay on the main street of an inland town. A boy sat near all day throwing stones To keep pigs away. The Villa men buried him in a pit With twenty Carranzistas. There is drama in that point... ...the boy and the pigs. Griffith would make a movie of it to fetch sobs. Victor Herbert would have the drums whirr In a weave with a high fiddle-string's single clamor. "And the muchacho sat there all day throwing stones To keep the pigs away," wrote Gibbons to the Tribune. Somewhere in Chihuahua or Colorado Is a leather bag of poems and short stories.
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Memoir of a Proud Boy
HE lived on the wings of storm. The ashes are in Chihuahua. Out of Ludlow and coal towns in Colorado Sprang a vengeance of Slav miners, Italians, Scots, Cornishmen, Yanks. Killings ran under the spoken commands of this boy With eighty men and rifles on a hogback mountain. They killed swearing to remember The shot and charred wives and children In the burnt camp of Ludlow, And Louis Tikas, the laughing Greek, Plugged with a bullet, clubbed with a gun **** As a home war It held the nation a week And one or two million men stood together And swore by the retribution of steel. It was all accidental. He lived flecking lint off coat lapels Of men he talked with. He kissed the miners' babies And wrote a Denver paper Of picket silhouettes on a mountain line. He had no mother but Mother Jones Crying from a jail window of Trinidad: "All I want is room enough to stand And shake my fist at the enemies of the human race." Named by a grand jury as a murderer He went to Chihuahua, forgot his old Scotch name, Smoked cheroots with Pancho Villa And wrote letters of Villa as a rock of the people. How can I tell how Don Magregor went? Three riders emptied lead into him. He lay on the main street of an inland town. A boy sat near all day throwing stones To keep pigs away. The Villa men buried him in a pit With twenty Carranzistas. There is drama in that point... ...the boy and the pigs. Griffith would make a movie of it to fetch sobs. Victor Herbert would have the drums whirr In a weave with a high fiddle-string's single clamor. "And the muchacho sat there all day throwing stones To keep the pigs away," wrote Gibbons to the Tribune. Somewhere in Chihuahua or Colorado Is a leather bag of poems and short stories.
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45
Matrilineality is the tracing of descent through the female line corresponding to a societal system in which each person is identified with their matriline;              – their _mother's_ image – and which can involve the inheritance of property and/or titles. A matriline is                                      a line of descent from a common female ancestor to a descendant of either *** in which the individuals in all intervening                           generations are mothers – in other words, a "mother line". In matrilineal descent,                           individuals belong to the same group as their mother.                                                      The matriline of historical nobility was also called the _enatic_ or     _Uterine_ ancestry; From Middle English wombe, wambe, from Old English womb, wamb (“belly, stomach; bowels; heart; womb; hollow”), from Proto-Germanic *wambō (“belly, stomach, abdomen”), from Proto-Indo-European *wamp- (“membrane (of bowels), intestines, womb”). Cognate with Scots wam, wame (“womb”), Dutch wam (“dewlap of beef; belly of a fish”), German Wamme, Wampe (“paunch, belly”), Danish vom (“belly, paunch, rumen”), Swedish våmb (“belly, stomach, rumen”), Norwegian vomb (“belly”), Icelandic vömb (“belly, abdomen, stomach”),              Old Welsh gumbelauc (“womb”), Breton gwamm (“woman, wife”), Sanskrit वपा (vapā́, “the skin or membrane lining the intestines or parts of the viscera, the caul or omentum”).
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Aug 22, 2018
Aug 22, 2018 at 10:37 PM UTC
Matrilineality [for Uterinism]
Matrilineality is the tracing of descent through the female line corresponding to a societal system in which each person is identified with their matriline;              – their _mother's_ image – and which can involve the inheritance of property and/or titles. A matriline is                                      a line of descent from a common female ancestor to a descendant of either *** in which the individuals in all intervening                           generations are mothers – in other words, a "mother line". In matrilineal descent,                           individuals belong to the same group as their mother.                                                      The matriline of historical nobility was also called the _enatic_ or     _Uterine_ ancestry; From Middle English wombe, wambe, from Old English womb, wamb (“belly, stomach; bowels; heart; womb; hollow”), from Proto-Germanic *wambō (“belly, stomach, abdomen”), from Proto-Indo-European *wamp- (“membrane (of bowels), intestines, womb”). Cognate with Scots wam, wame (“womb”), Dutch wam (“dewlap of beef; belly of a fish”), German Wamme, Wampe (“paunch, belly”), Danish vom (“belly, paunch, rumen”), Swedish våmb (“belly, stomach, rumen”), Norwegian vomb (“belly”), Icelandic vömb (“belly, abdomen, stomach”),              Old Welsh gumbelauc (“womb”), Breton gwamm (“woman, wife”), Sanskrit वपा (vapā́, “the skin or membrane lining the intestines or parts of the viscera, the caul or omentum”).
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Scots, wha hae wi’ Wallace bled, Scots, wham Bruce has aften led, Welcome to your gory bed, Or to victory! Now’s the day, and now’s the hour; See the front o’ battle lour, See approach proud Edward’s power— Chains and slavery! Wha will be a traitor-knave? Wha can fill a coward’s grave? Wha sae base as be a slave? Let him turn and flee! Wha for Scotland’s king and law Freedom’s sword will strongly draw, Freeman stand or freeman fa’, Let him follow me! By oppression’s woes and pains, By your sons in servile chains, We will drain our dearest veins, But they shall be free! Lay the proud usurpers low! Tyrants fall in ev’ry foe! Liberty’s in ev’ry blow! Let us do or die!
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Scots, Wha Hae Wi’ Wallace Bled
Folk with the real Scots, guttural and glorious, know me for the cushion-mouthed patsy I am I can no more ape that lyrical brilliance than I can do a Grappeli on the fiddle or tickle the keys Theloniously And when I see a lounge-room spaniel howling feebly at the moon frustrated wolf-blood squirting through its scrawny veins I know exactly how it feels.
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Sep 13, 2011
Sep 13, 2011 at 4:55 PM UTC
A Dog
Charlie and D sitting in a tree, Henry VIII comes along, chops down the tree. part of me constantly and perversely anticipates what Islam holds dear, the cult of the moon rather than the sun - sleeping nudges of inquiry and reminiscence of Freud rather than this constant pulverisation of scientific safety-nets - the sun and the scam of diet - Narcissus myth all too apparent, too self-conscious to feed the beauty, laboratory type beauty, statistician's paradise - sun and skin cancer collective, i'm not an Arab, and i never will be, but this sort of weather and jet-stream excess isn't exactly helping either - Einstein might have saved you from exacting the thought process (never experiment with it, never) behind Newtonian cause & effect, but this **** isn't going away, and you won't be exactly barnacle jumping mad with Jack & Jill if you voice your concerns; for all that urbanity the village life is having a comeback - hello brick, hello tree, hello tomorrow: the day of never-be - the Spaniards had a second try at an inquisition via Gibraltar - the Scots sailed to Brussels - the village life is having a comeback - the Americans are hoarding guns prior to enacting scenes from Bastille Sq. with the guillotine - they don't know it yet, but they're hoarding guns to topple the government over - elsewhere a bunch of Palestinians were throwing stones at bullseyes for a fluffy toy in a theme park.
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Jul 7, 2016
Jul 7, 2016 at 11:35 AM UTC
village life comeback
As I told you already that I was Graeme Thorne in the 1950s and apart from the fact I was him for just 8 years, I had a best friend named bobby Francis who was a very ***** fellow, well back then so was I Bobby had a teenage crush on dody Stephens who sang pink shoe laces which was bobby's fave song and I, as Graeme Thorne thought yeah she is cute and bobby bought her album over to my house and you could hear his voice twanging with the words pink shoelaces and then in 1959 bobby bought pink shoelaces which caused a bit of shock for teachers at old scots college and Greame Thorne who was me said it looks weird that my mate is wearing pink shoe laces But bobby couldn't give a flying **** about what people were saying about him Just listen or try and get the memory of him singing Tan shoes and pink shoelaces A polka dot vest hey man oh man tan shoes with pink shoelaces and a big panamol With a purple hat band and my friend bobby sang that with the same twang as dodi Stephens Which could be the reason why Bobby is having a tween crush on an older 13 year old singer I as Graeme Thorne also had a crush on dodi and both me and bobby were dodi's dory but bobby's mum got really cranky with bobby for his voice because it could be a **** voice but bobby used bad language to tell his mum to get ****** and every time we went to the local shops in Bondi beach we bought our ice creams and sat on the beach singing the dodi Stephens hit And then two gorgeous 12 year old girls sat near us and I said How about a bit of sugar and bobby said for you maybe but I want dodi's pink shoelaces And I told bobby to live in the realistic years and bobby said you can talk to these girls but I like dodi ok and bobby was ************ over dodi Stephens **** body while I as Graeme Thorne went over to the 12 year old girls and started to massage their backs and thighs saying to bobby these girls are a nice *** of sugar For my spoon and as the girls left they kissed me as greame Thorne on the lips and left thinking my friend was a bit of a **** and when we got back to bobby's house bobby played pink shoe laces very loud as well as ************ thinking dodi is a 50s fox and I toild him that those girls on the beach were **** too and bobby said yeah I agree but I plan to finish school and marry dodi and then said he was Dooley and dodi is trying to keep me safe well in 1960 I was kidnapped and killed and bobby well I will never ever know if he got it together with dodi, probably not but in my current life at the age of 22 I heard bobby's twang singing pink shoe laces as I heard it on the radio and now I listen to pink shoe laces on YouTube She is hot
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Apr 1, 2017
Apr 1, 2017 at 2:47 AM UTC
greame thorne's best friends tween crush on a teenage singer
As I told you already that I was Graeme Thorne in the 1950s and apart from the fact I was him for just 8 years, I had a best friend named bobby Francis who was a very ***** fellow, well back then so was I Bobby had a teenage crush on dody Stephens who sang pink shoe laces which was bobby's fave song and I, as Graeme Thorne thought yeah she is cute and bobby bought her album over to my house and you could hear his voice twanging with the words pink shoelaces and then in 1959 bobby bought pink shoelaces which caused a bit of shock for teachers at old scots college and Greame Thorne who was me said it looks weird that my mate is wearing pink shoe laces But bobby couldn't give a flying **** about what people were saying about him Just listen or try and get the memory of him singing Tan shoes and pink shoelaces A polka dot vest hey man oh man tan shoes with pink shoelaces and a big panamol With a purple hat band and my friend bobby sang that with the same twang as dodi Stephens Which could be the reason why Bobby is having a tween crush on an older 13 year old singer I as Graeme Thorne also had a crush on dodi and both me and bobby were dodi's dory but bobby's mum got really cranky with bobby for his voice because it could be a **** voice but bobby used bad language to tell his mum to get ****** and every time we went to the local shops in Bondi beach we bought our ice creams and sat on the beach singing the dodi Stephens hit And then two gorgeous 12 year old girls sat near us and I said How about a bit of sugar and bobby said for you maybe but I want dodi's pink shoelaces And I told bobby to live in the realistic years and bobby said you can talk to these girls but I like dodi ok and bobby was ************ over dodi Stephens **** body while I as Graeme Thorne went over to the 12 year old girls and started to massage their backs and thighs saying to bobby these girls are a nice *** of sugar For my spoon and as the girls left they kissed me as greame Thorne on the lips and left thinking my friend was a bit of a **** and when we got back to bobby's house bobby played pink shoe laces very loud as well as ************ thinking dodi is a 50s fox and I toild him that those girls on the beach were **** too and bobby said yeah I agree but I plan to finish school and marry dodi and then said he was Dooley and dodi is trying to keep me safe well in 1960 I was kidnapped and killed and bobby well I will never ever know if he got it together with dodi, probably not but in my current life at the age of 22 I heard bobby's twang singing pink shoe laces as I heard it on the radio and now I listen to pink shoe laces on YouTube She is hot
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15
The Scots are a friendly old folk With Whiskey they share till you soak But call them a Brit And they'll **** up your **** Heritage to them ain't a joke!
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Jan 2, 2015
Jan 2, 2015 at 8:15 AM UTC
The Scottish Are Tough - A Hardy Limerick
Apon tha roll O' tha pagan's dream As it leaps an' boun's apon tha mental stream Flowing doon intae tha cordons o' solitaire Near tha brigs O' tha banks O' Bonnie Ayr. Tha whispering Hazel catches huld tha tune Echoing tha mysteries a' tha wae tae Troon As a glimmer O' lichtning crosses tha Sky He, tha ancient an' grand Wizard stoans apon Carrick high. Configurations an' transformations by god Far ayond tha concepts o' tha blunnering sod Catch hold Lad tha spirit as it flees past ye Heading oot taewards Arran across tha sea. Does no tha Seagull scream tae enchant tha ****** an' the win' blaws like some evil melody played by a Demon An' dinnie wait tae lang tae grasp tha chain O' life's faithful given, tha Barley, Wheat an' Grain. But come see tha Mither apon her Earth filled seat As tae tha wonnerous farmer She bows tae Greet That apon tha Seasons O' echoed fate they may come tae restore Tha True religion O' this land, O' this flaming shore. Nue listen an' be quite till pass a' hoors break an' bin' ye thagither tha dreams an' thouchts that ye take an' cast it a' apon tha Fires O' Beltanes torch Tae watch as tha flames reach higher an' higher, tha heevens tae scorch. Alisdaire O'Caoimph
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Mar 21, 2011
Mar 21, 2011 at 1:45 PM UTC
Tha lan, Tha auld lan - Scots
My friend published a book of collected Scots Proverbs. 200 pages and more, filled with countless ways of saying "Don't show off." And that precious wisdom, generations in the making percolated through smokey thatch in dismal dripping glens, Tattooed into tenement bricks with the soot of dead industry, added to the diet with the excess salt and saturated fat, Paving the roads on which all ambition travels south, And fizzing through the lager on its way to the head Now hangs around the kids like the stink around an ashtray and stifles any pride they might invest in themselves. They will pass it on with their genes and their endless disappointments, despising anyone who rises above the station at which they are eternally delayed.
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Nov 20, 2011
Nov 20, 2011 at 4:15 PM UTC
Scots Proverbs
If the Scots get independence will we get better **** I'd vote for that. Maybe the 'silent majority' are like ... hospitals, schools, fish, whisky, natural energy blah blah The good folk in Scotland have been drip-fed the worst **** in history: coated in chemicals bath rinsed molasses spare car tyre plastic flotsam *** seriously No wonder - Bammed (right up) Givin it Havin it Lovin it is why bands & DJs Love to Play: 'up for it' 'Hey MoJo's share some of that MTV love' anything that's called Council Hash and accepted as the norm reeks of class politics; ah they won't mind the **** end o that they're the Scots The Scottish Government should embrace a new Scotland and the people in it We want lots of things: one of which is better **** Crime will drop: - sniffing car tyres for a hit - sales of Buckfast will fund the entire South East of England. Scotland could lead the world in upcycling as Rizla fails to meet demand. Our days would be so radically different; auto flexi time carbon neutral trams with comfy seats systematically mathematically go faster than walking: a mode of choice I'd vote for that ...
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Jul 30, 2013
Jul 30, 2013 at 8:34 PM UTC
Rant 0719
ALERTS TO FINANCIAL AND MILITARY THREATS IN 2012 EUROPE By John Cleese (British writer, actor and tall person): The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A ****** Nuisance." The last time the British issued a ****** Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada. The Scots have raised their threat level from ****** Off" to "Let's get the ******** They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose." Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: ****** I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level. A final thought -" Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC."
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Jul 10, 2012
Jul 10, 2012 at 3:22 PM UTC
Hilarious Piece by John Cleese
ALERTS TO FINANCIAL AND MILITARY THREATS IN 2012 EUROPE By John Cleese (British writer, actor and tall person): The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A ****** Nuisance." The last time the British issued a ****** Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada. The Scots have raised their threat level from ****** Off" to "Let's get the ******** They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose." Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: ****** I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level. A final thought -" Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC."
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Here Is a timely Noun to consider From the Merriam-Webster page. "Trumpery." Note (at bottom) the list of near-antonyms; what is the opposite of trumpery? [Popularity: Bottom 40% of words] trumpery noun trum·pery \ˈtrəm-p(ə-)rē\ Definition of trumpery 1 a : worthless nonsense b : trivial or useless articles : junk <a wagon loaded with household trumpery — Washington Irving> 2 archaic : ****** finery Origin of trumpery Middle English (Scots) trompery deceit, from Middle French, from tromper to deceive First Known Use: 15th century Examples of trumpery <claims for weight-loss products that are based much more on Madison-Avenue trumpery than on bariatric science> Related to trumpery Synonyms applesauce [slang], balderdash, baloney (also boloney), beans, bilge, blah (also blah-blah), blarney, blather, blatherskite, blither, bosh, bull [slang], bunk, bunkum (or ******** claptrap, codswallop [British], crapola [slang], crock, drivel, drool, fiddle, fiddle-faddle, fiddlesticks, flannel [British], flapdoodle, folderol (also falderal), folly, foolishness, fudge, garbage, guff, hogwash, hokeypokey, hokum, hoodoo, hooey, horsefeathers [slang], humbug, humbuggery, jazz, malarkey (also malarky), moonshine, muck, nerts [slang], nuts, piffle, poppycock, punk, rot, ******* senselessness, silliness, slush, stupidity, taradiddle (or tarradiddle), tommyrot, tosh, trash, nonsense, twaddle Related Words absurdity, asininity, fatuity, foolery, idiocy, imbecility, inaneness, inanity, insanity, kookiness, lunacy; absurdness, craziness, madness, senselessness, witlessness; hoity-toity, monkey business, monkeyshine(s), shenanigan(s), tomfoolery; gas, hot air, rigmarole (also rigamarole); double-talk, greek, hocus-pocus Near Antonyms levelheadedness, rationality, reasonability, reasonableness, sensibleness; common sense, horse sense, sense; discernment, judgment (or judgement), wisdom By: Robinson Bolkum
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Jan 3, 2016
Jan 3, 2016 at 6:44 PM UTC
Trumpery
Here Is a timely Noun to consider From the Merriam-Webster page. "Trumpery." Note (at bottom) the list of near-antonyms; what is the opposite of trumpery? [Popularity: Bottom 40% of words] trumpery noun trum·pery \ˈtrəm-p(ə-)rē\ Definition of trumpery 1 a : worthless nonsense b : trivial or useless articles : junk <a wagon loaded with household trumpery — Washington Irving> 2 archaic : ****** finery Origin of trumpery Middle English (Scots) trompery deceit, from Middle French, from tromper to deceive First Known Use: 15th century Examples of trumpery <claims for weight-loss products that are based much more on Madison-Avenue trumpery than on bariatric science> Related to trumpery Synonyms applesauce [slang], balderdash, baloney (also boloney), beans, bilge, blah (also blah-blah), blarney, blather, blatherskite, blither, bosh, bull [slang], bunk, bunkum (or ******** claptrap, codswallop [British], crapola [slang], crock, drivel, drool, fiddle, fiddle-faddle, fiddlesticks, flannel [British], flapdoodle, folderol (also falderal), folly, foolishness, fudge, garbage, guff, hogwash, hokeypokey, hokum, hoodoo, hooey, horsefeathers [slang], humbug, humbuggery, jazz, malarkey (also malarky), moonshine, muck, nerts [slang], nuts, piffle, poppycock, punk, rot, ******* senselessness, silliness, slush, stupidity, taradiddle (or tarradiddle), tommyrot, tosh, trash, nonsense, twaddle Related Words absurdity, asininity, fatuity, foolery, idiocy, imbecility, inaneness, inanity, insanity, kookiness, lunacy; absurdness, craziness, madness, senselessness, witlessness; hoity-toity, monkey business, monkeyshine(s), shenanigan(s), tomfoolery; gas, hot air, rigmarole (also rigamarole); double-talk, greek, hocus-pocus Near Antonyms levelheadedness, rationality, reasonability, reasonableness, sensibleness; common sense, horse sense, sense; discernment, judgment (or judgement), wisdom By: Robinson Bolkum
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A selection of limericks There was a young lass from the Bronx Whose ******* make fearful honks She sounds like a car When she puts on a bra And the geese gather round when she bonks ----------------- Father Alexander McMackett Ran a ruthless religious racket When taking collection He'd offer protection Salvation could cost you a packet ----------------- A carrot named Archibald Nation Had feathers in high numeration He was labelled as veg By a grocer called Reg With a dubious qualification ----------------- A sculptor named Arnold Duprees  Carved a **** plug from parmesan cheese He lamented his luck When it melted and stuck But he fired it out with a sneeze ----------------- Knights in the armour of old Have little to keep out the cold For they dress as the Scots In thier tenderest spots Which encourages rust and then mould ----------------- Oh ***** you make my knees quiver  You chemical lethargy giver You tickle my tongue And pickle my brain Then you jump up and down on my liver ----------------- A Fella named Ricky De Gaul Had seventeen ******* in all They called him De Chesty But with only one ***** It should have been Ricky De Ball
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Apr 5, 2013
Apr 5, 2013 at 8:15 AM UTC
A Selection of Limericks
There was a Scots soldier, Bill Millin The sound of his bagpipes was thrillin' The Germans thought how sad- The poor man's quite mad- We'll not waste a bullet on him then
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Nov 24, 2012
Nov 24, 2012 at 3:38 PM UTC
Bill Millin
I've been wandering around, like a waltzing matilda. From Fife in the lowlands, to the cliffs of St. Kilda. Carrying my life, and all that it wills Appalachia and plains, to the mighty Black Hills. Trekking so far, exploring the Earth Miles away, from the place of my birth. From the land of the Scots, to the land of the Sioux From familiar homes, to the places so new. I'm wandering around, with so much to do. In the land of the Gaels, to the land of Lakota, I'm slinging around, like a waltzing matilda.
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Oct 14, 2020
Oct 14, 2020 at 12:36 PM UTC
Like A Waltzing Matilda
you know that, only in england you can wear a t-shirt in january, and concede that (it's chav scots clearing the path): reading a søren kierkegaard book qualifies you as mentally ill? odd, isn't it? read a philosophy book get a psychiatrist... where's the ******* bookmark?
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Jan 24, 2016
Jan 24, 2016 at 7:06 PM UTC
bookmark
Inspired by Judy Blume, inside Jokes with Liz and the poetry of Alissa Grams (https://alissagrams.wordpress.com/2017/03/06/an-open-letter-to-god-from-an-eighteen-year-old-girl/) ~ God, it's me-- jade. I must admit, I've never read Judy Blume or the Bible, for that matter (I could never make it past Genesis). I am not well-versed when it comes to scripture-- I am fluent in tragedy and tragedy alone; then again, is there really any difference between scripture and tragedy? I was never one to pay attention in church, unless the hymns were of a minor key, the sermons imbued with woe and melancholia. Coincidentally, as I write this, it has only just occurred to me that Lot's Wife was never given a name of her own-- it was destroyed with ***** forgotten amongst the flames and the ash. God, you were wrong to punish her the way you did. Have you never felt the sting of salt against an open wound? Have you never watched as all the familiar intimacies you once knew dissolved to cinder? (I know you have). Do you not see that, if home is where the heart is, then the heart must surely perish with it? God, has anyone ever broken your heart? (I think you know heartbreak as well as I do; it is the very matter of our existence). So I guess my real question is why? (and, no, this time, it is not rhetorical). Truly, I'd like to know why you would ever think to hurt your people the same way the archangel hurt you. You say I sin against you, but did you not create me in your image? (Like father, like daughter, I suppose). god, I do not think I believe in you. At least, I do not believe in you like I believe in other things. I do not believe in you the way I believe in the beauty of Van Gogh's sunflowers (his starry nights, too); or in dog-earing the pages of my favourite books. I do not believe in you the way I believe in magic; or in the integrity of polaroids photographs and listening to vinyl. I do not believe in you the way I believed in my love during the final moments before his betrayal; or in the lingering sensation of my past lives-- Ophelia. Mary Queen of Scots. Frida Kahlo. Sylvia Plath-- and now, dare I feel it, dare I say it-- Lot's Wife. (With her, I shall share a name). I do not believe you are my saviour because I do not believe in you the way I believe in Poetry. god, it's me-- Jade; this poem is my hallelujah, but it does not belong to you (not anymore).
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Jan 10, 2019
Jan 10, 2019 at 9:56 PM UTC
Hallelujah (It Is Mine To Keep)
Inspired by Judy Blume, inside Jokes with Liz and the poetry of Alissa Grams (https://alissagrams.wordpress.com/2017/03/06/an-open-letter-to-god-from-an-eighteen-year-old-girl/) ~ God, it's me-- jade. I must admit, I've never read Judy Blume or the Bible, for that matter (I could never make it past Genesis). I am not well-versed when it comes to scripture-- I am fluent in tragedy and tragedy alone; then again, is there really any difference between scripture and tragedy? I was never one to pay attention in church, unless the hymns were of a minor key, the sermons imbued with woe and melancholia. Coincidentally, as I write this, it has only just occurred to me that Lot's Wife was never given a name of her own-- it was destroyed with ***** forgotten amongst the flames and the ash. God, you were wrong to punish her the way you did. Have you never felt the sting of salt against an open wound? Have you never watched as all the familiar intimacies you once knew dissolved to cinder? (I know you have). Do you not see that, if home is where the heart is, then the heart must surely perish with it? God, has anyone ever broken your heart? (I think you know heartbreak as well as I do; it is the very matter of our existence). So I guess my real question is why? (and, no, this time, it is not rhetorical). Truly, I'd like to know why you would ever think to hurt your people the same way the archangel hurt you. You say I sin against you, but did you not create me in your image? (Like father, like daughter, I suppose). god, I do not think I believe in you. At least, I do not believe in you like I believe in other things. I do not believe in you the way I believe in the beauty of Van Gogh's sunflowers (his starry nights, too); or in dog-earing the pages of my favourite books. I do not believe in you the way I believe in magic; or in the integrity of polaroids photographs and listening to vinyl. I do not believe in you the way I believed in my love during the final moments before his betrayal; or in the lingering sensation of my past lives-- Ophelia. Mary Queen of Scots. Frida Kahlo. Sylvia Plath-- and now, dare I feel it, dare I say it-- Lot's Wife. (With her, I shall share a name). I do not believe you are my saviour because I do not believe in you the way I believe in Poetry. god, it's me-- Jade; this poem is my hallelujah, but it does not belong to you (not anymore).
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Aye think o this When winter breezes blaws aroun' whare silent thochts are filled wae gloom and drifting words,they echo past frae fearful man an fearful lass In haunted hooses and misty lans whare Ghosties an gobblins an unco bans Pass atween this an theirs, that form amidst tha thunders crashing storm. Aye tucked up aroun yeer mithers apron wae teeth a nashing an voices wailing Fine ye ken this unhaly nicht tis filled wae all unGodly licht Craw tha Banshee frae tha Ben like howlet song throughoot tha Glen. Satan, Auld horney casts his lots for innocent bairnies fresh frae their cots An' ancient stories there arise an fly Like shooting stars that fill tha sky for here in tales tha croonies dae rattle in haunting airs and fiendish battle leagons arise tae tha masters calling This nicht hell awakens, aahhh tha heevens are falling. Here in blackened darkened skies whare lichtning flashes weaves an cries An mortal man fears fa his soul against that heelish burning coal Ministers intae their beds are fleeing wae ranting verses fa all their Dealing. Whare auld worn hags an witches cast upon tha waters that blaw an blast drooning mony tha ship an sailor all fa tha glory O their Demonic tailor when cauldrens stir in bubbling brews An damnation demands its richtful dues tha lan' it heaves and haws devouring all within its jaws A Blood red Moon casts her lot whare evil men have Died an fought tha Earth auld an worn frae tribulation demands the blood of every nation. Here within the fields o life brither against brither in war an strife hae released all this fiendish nightmare fa all their guilt,fa all they share Alisdaire O'Caoimph
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Mar 21, 2011
Mar 21, 2011 at 8:05 AM UTC
Tales -Scots Doric
Aye think o this When winter breezes blaws aroun' whare silent thochts are filled wae gloom and drifting words,they echo past frae fearful man an fearful lass In haunted hooses and misty lans whare Ghosties an gobblins an unco bans Pass atween this an theirs, that form amidst tha thunders crashing storm. Aye tucked up aroun yeer mithers apron wae teeth a nashing an voices wailing Fine ye ken this unhaly nicht tis filled wae all unGodly licht Craw tha Banshee frae tha Ben like howlet song throughoot tha Glen. Satan, Auld horney casts his lots for innocent bairnies fresh frae their cots An' ancient stories there arise an fly Like shooting stars that fill tha sky for here in tales tha croonies dae rattle in haunting airs and fiendish battle leagons arise tae tha masters calling This nicht hell awakens, aahhh tha heevens are falling. Here in blackened darkened skies whare lichtning flashes weaves an cries An mortal man fears fa his soul against that heelish burning coal Ministers intae their beds are fleeing wae ranting verses fa all their Dealing. Whare auld worn hags an witches cast upon tha waters that blaw an blast drooning mony tha ship an sailor all fa tha glory O their Demonic tailor when cauldrens stir in bubbling brews An damnation demands its richtful dues tha lan' it heaves and haws devouring all within its jaws A Blood red Moon casts her lot whare evil men have Died an fought tha Earth auld an worn frae tribulation demands the blood of every nation. Here within the fields o life brither against brither in war an strife hae released all this fiendish nightmare fa all their guilt,fa all they share Alisdaire O'Caoimph
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