"safeword" poems
love is not a safe word
it’s one haiku revised 400 times
on cracked leather chairs in the corner of cafés
some of us love badly
she says as she kisses the rim of her glass.
some of us love stretched out
like pizza dough that rips when our rolling pin rolls it too thin.
some of us love in secrecy
we do not trust your hands.
you try to pull our scalp off and draw your portrait on our mind
some of us love clean
like bubble bath that smells like lavender from some fancy store in the mall
some of us love *****
we cant clean you off our skin
some of us kiss with our teeth
some of us braid our lovers into our hair
and when we remove the hair tie
it is crimped and messy and tangled
some of us love love
but only far from home
when we slip into bed we start thinking
and we can’t stay still
some of us wash our clothes even when they don’t smell
or aren’t stained
just because it feels like you are inside of our shirts and pants and sneakers
some of us walk alone past your house
on the way to ours
and stop at the front step
waiting for you to come out
and smile at us
the only thing we wait for today
are the smudged signatures of snails
scrawled across your pavement
some of us love to the bone
until there are no more “ifs”
just “is” and “are”
the collected poems of our fingers
swollen, bruised, red like a bouquet of roses
some of us love
and we regret it
we never get home in time for dinner because of it, we leak like a faulty faucet, we sleep with our pillows over our heads to keep everything in
but some of us love
some of us own a watch and know the time with a glance at our wrist, some of us own a sponge to soak up the water, some of us own satin pillows that feel like whispers on our cheekbones
Jan 18, 2018
Jan 18, 2018 at 5:42 PM UTC
There are no ways to safeword out of this life.
I know, I’ve tried them all.
Elephant, apple, Alaska, amen.
Tried screaming anything into the pillow my face is pushed down into,
Whiskey, tango, foxtrot, stop
Exhausted my vocabulary against the blanket my fists are balled into fists against,
Anything to make the beatings stop
But they just
Keep
Coming.
In **** having a safeword is like wearing a seatbelt.
There are rules about having one
And the ones who choose to do without
Are taking risks.
We are born without lifejackets, without seatbelts and safecut scissors
Without breakaway glass or rubberized mats
Without any way to make the world slow down
Let us catch our breath,
And jump back in.
There are no hard limits in the real world.
So we bite into our gags and wait for the session to end.
Elephant, apple, Alaska, amen.
Nov 2, 2013
Nov 2, 2013 at 1:02 AM UTC
most of the angels avert their gaze
a few stare, their glares embedded
in my bare chest and just one
watches quietly from the corner
what would Judas think about
the scarves? one wrapped around
my wrists and the other around
my eyes with my teeth clenched
my back is arched above the
towel you put on your sheets just
in case. did jesus ever think about
his safeword as he hung on the cross?
‘Do you like that?’ whispers Pontius Pilate
gasping I respond, ‘Yes sir,’
Jan 22, 2021
Jan 22, 2021 at 1:20 PM UTC
I'm a ******* trophy, and I don't need a safeword
because intimacy is a waste of my time if
I don't feel like I can't breathe at least once
Sure I'll say but my face will be the same color as my blood
or my favourite lipstick
Wear me around his neck if he could
I know, he told me
I love you beyond the moaning, I do
that's not all there is to me
How many times do I have to say it now?
I don't start fires, I am the fire
Love won't die unless you ****** it
and I don't believe in violence
Gasoline veins since birth so the right person
could throw a match on me
so throw a match on me, I know it's you
Have you ever tried swimming with your arms
tied behind your back, that's how you make me feel sometimes
Sorry
People would love to identify my body at the morgue
especially the ones who put it there
someone already tried to put it there
but no one wants to hold a dead thing
Jun 26, 2014
Jun 26, 2014 at 11:45 PM UTC