For I am a person of reticent characteristics, and never have ever been able to proficiently and completely say in an understanding matter what passages reel through my mind every minute of my consciousness. To discuss/portray all of my ideas is unethical and rather ludicrous because it wouldn't matter what my definiton of saddeness is or what kind of crippling things my brain puts me through up to my impending doom because everyone else has their own pain polluting the atmosphere. Having said that, I'm going to write down my best explanation of how I'm quite maudlin out of my control and in the hands of my state of mind, which to make clear that yes, my state of mind is not in my hands for my mind has evolved into someone else and in their clutches is where I lay cuffed and gagged. If you were to search through the creatures' house of grey matter eventually you would find me on fire because my once warm, loving, disposition was used cleverly by the owner of my mind as gasoline and turned me inside out to be a ball of fire and hate, a sun, the sun that shines through to the outside world and shows to whomever can look into the front of my brain what kind of skittish, heartbroken, depressed lover I turned into. But none the less that leaves only me to point out the brightest star in my galaxy, only me to see what patheticness is curled up in my own blankets of poison. I'm my own prison guard to stand by and watch the otherside of my reflection squirm and scream, writhing through the pain of my ever burning flesh. That's the only feeling I get to watch be played out inside me, the rest was ****** up by the tape worm and plastered onto my vocal chords and was shape shifted onto my face so this corpse can look like a ball of sunshine, though I'm my own ball of hell inside.