"sabatoge" poems
after centuries and centuries and centuries of:
pain and suffering,
chains and ankle cuffing,
segregation and impossible laws,
human degredation and deaths for the cause,
coloured lines and last picks,
work in the mines and barbie-like wigs,
culture termination and the education of self-hate,
fake freedom motivation and penitentiary execution dates,
community sabatoge and destruction of black owned schemes,
settle down for hip hop dialogue and basketball dreams
racial slurs and monkey metaphors,
television blurs and the world shutting doors,
the white man's drugs and melanin filled prisons,
talent that lacks funds and vietnam missions,
death of our black icons and imprisonment of mandela
death of trayvon and others on the death list which could go on forever...
do you have the right to tell "bottom barrels" not to dream to be on the top?
do you wonder why forgiveness is slowly yielding in the world, as if it sees a sign that says it's time to stop?
do they not say we must practice what we preach?
are they not preaching hate?
are they not preaching inequality?
are they not preaching the false levels of life?
is it too hard for the world to practice equality?
is it too hard for the world to live in harmony?
is it too hard for the world to see the similarities in our differences?
is it too hard for the world to live without fear of colours?
is it too much to ask for peace???
- t.m
Sep 25, 2016
Sep 25, 2016 at 2:25 PM UTC
Preserve the past in me
Like a mummy I’ll bring my riches
to another world
My sabatoge is your secret weapon.
-Sindi Kafazi
Oct 19, 2018
Oct 19, 2018 at 7:24 PM UTC
Liquid silence flows between the cracks,
The awkward pauses and terse remarks ,
Of our cordial conversation.
My lips fumble as words scratch at their soft corridor,
The taste of discomfort and failure is salty,
Yet reassuringly human- alive.
You didn't do anything wrong,
Your perfectly placed hesitations and irony
Fell stagnant in the bitter pool of my expectations.
You couldn't help the way things went,
Self sabatoge danced sweetly on my lips,
Fates sticky web couldn't hold back deliberation.
Being with you, in this room,
Is the epitome of wide open loniness-
The kind talked about in books and eulogies.
It's elusive presence envelops me
As sentences fumble out of my mouth like gravel:
Unclear and unintentional, too genuine to matter.
I'm not sure how much more I can handle,
How many perfectly sane stories I can to listen to
Without spilling off the brink of sanity.
It's not as bad as it seems out here,
There's something charming about being utterly alone,
Something unexplained and unattainable
In this wide open loneliness-
Aug 22, 2012
Aug 22, 2012 at 1:55 PM UTC
*hunger
like towering walls
of water
i won't give in though i
crave crave crave*
**they won't let me get drunk
won't let me do drugs
won't let me do nothing
so nothing gets done**
two miserly words
self sabatoge
Jan 26, 2016
Jan 26, 2016 at 7:50 PM UTC
Let me be.
I cannot live with you here.
I despise you.
I hate everything about you.
I wish you would just leave.
You hurt me
You sabatoge me
You hate me.
I cant do it anymore
You are damning my soul
Go away
Just
Go
Away
Jul 19, 2016
Jul 19, 2016 at 8:41 AM UTC
My mind feels sick
Filled to the brim with self sabatoge
And a non-commital attitude.
Tears right on the edge
Of running down my cheek
And I say "running"
Because even they want to get away from me.
Then there's that exhaustion again
A sour feeling on my temples
And sore eyes from looking in the mirror.
Asking the big questions
I get nowhere
Will I ever find the answer
To why I can't let myself be happy?
Sep 6, 2016
Sep 6, 2016 at 1:08 PM UTC
Hard
Nonsense
Plunk
Downpour
Survivor
Mcgiver
Adolesent
Boys
Jokster
Non lipstick
One night
Pool stick
Poker
Midnight
Lacing
Marvin Gaye
Caretaking
Independent
Fraught
National Awareness
Hault
Throat
Clinging
Midnight
Ringing
Gangsters
Paradise
Parade stealing
Non stop fraud
Caught cha
Oops
Slipped into
Backwards u turn
Of self sabatoge
Apr 15, 2018
Apr 15, 2018 at 8:20 PM UTC
Do you ever want to down?
Like, just ******* drown.
Maybe someone could hold me down
It feels good to drown
I am forced to make the bad decisions
like there was no option for good
I know it's self sabatoge
But man it feels good
You see,
The effort is the stressor
So hold me down
Please hold me down
I don't want to think right now
Because if you don't hold me down
I'll swim
For how long?
-don't know.
Where?
-don't know.
Will I make it?
Will anyone care?
If I try to swim and don't make it, will anyone care?
Or
--wait---
I mean ridicule.
Will they ridicule me?
See,
That's why I need you.
Because it's all on you.
It's not my fault if I drown
If your hand pushes me down
I'll think about the stars I'll never see
I wouldn't see them regaurdless
Blacked out reality is quite easy
Swishing dreams in my mouth is easy
...
But if your arm gets tired
And I'm too hard to sink
Maybe we could swim together?
Sep 6, 2019
Sep 6, 2019 at 12:56 AM UTC
You made me feel guilty when I liked something
Kept me isolated from my sister, and other family
Told lies on me so society would hate me
Controlled me so that I'd act around others the way you planned
Sent me away to be fixed, because you said I was broken.
Pretended you cared, but that was just an act
Confused, scared and left me feeling insecure
Made me feel unwanted, not important and in your way
You called me names, ignored me and made demands
Drank and blamed it on me, but hid it from others
You were never a good mother because you abused me everyday of my life.
But you were the one who came out smelling like a rose
While I continue to suffer under your lies.
Copyright 2019
All rights reserved
Jan 23, 2019
Jan 23, 2019 at 9:12 PM UTC
I live in order to expose the lie
The lie of self is shattered when I walk by,
For I could never live up to your standard
Under your selfish thumb...
Now today I'm numb,
Under your very selfish thumb...
For I'm not some puppet on a string.
Do you all know what I mean ?
Yet I still can't put my finger on it,
Still in front of us there lies a legacy of death...
It smells like teen spirit
We have no where to hide
In order to deter the ride,
Hence to hide from all the pain
Yet we all tend to compromise,
Can't we see through all those jealous lies... ?
For today, who lay's the claim ?
This greedy sabatoge can make one insane
Yet who sets the claim ?
Were only dealing in some bargain basement shame
Such a soft reply,
In order to build up enough faith
This is in order to pass the ultimate test,
The pathway that lies to the common restitution...
Perhap's I should start a new found revolution
Hence away from what you all learned in school
No one can't find this in a bar or even in a pill
To turn our backs on evolution
Yet sin still comes at a heavy price,
For one given chance at which to roll the dice...
Still when a person is in great need
Society today gets a bit greedy in order to watch one bleed
Still the sharks prawl around in search of their meat,
By sticking their sophisticated noses in the air
Who the Hell would care,
Those hot headed ****** lead many to despair
Aug 4, 2017
Aug 4, 2017 at 8:21 PM UTC